Day 16 Assignments

[Christina Parker]

Christina Parker – Day 16 Amazing Opening Scene

What I learned about this assignment is that there are always unique ways of communicating stories. As a writer, we have to expand our creativity and find the right way to evoke the emotions the writer wants the audience to feel and facts that help them understand the scene.

I have 3 first scenes. Ist scene is the original, it shows how the box came into being but doesn’t have much emotion or intrigue. 2^nd shows more conflict and tension but I feel the 3^rd is better and the one I will use as it gives more drama and it’s as if the box wants to be found. I feel it gives the scene more emotion and intrigue.

1.

TITLES OVER BLACK

Egypt 1893

EXT. EGYPT – DUSK

An excavation site with WORKMEN digging and shouting in mixed dialects. In the distance stand the majestic pyramids. One team of four, work away from the rest.

The leader, a European ARCHEOLOGIST stands gazing across the land. He wipes his brow discouraged, it has been a long dig.

His Egyptian SERVANT’S shovel hits a flat surface.

SERVANT

(In Arabic; subtitled)

Master!

There is hope the Archeologist goes to the dig.

ARCHEOLOGIST

Let’s see.

The servant dusts the surface, the other workmen help him reveal an ornately carved box, its lid inlaid with gems.

The servant becomes agitated as he looks at the carvings around the box, he shakes his head. The archeologist pushes him aside removing the 15 inches square & 8 inches deep box. The archeologist smiles.

ARCHEOLOGIST

This will fetch a good price in the land of opportunity.

SERVANT

Where are we going, master?

ARCHEOLOGIST

America.

A hot wind blows the sand, the tall pyramids in the distance fade.

2.

Same as above except when they find the box a workman who touches it his hands are scalded. The second workman takes a cloth and picks it up but sees an ominous Egyptian Anubis figure looming over him. He drops the box and runs. Frustrated, the archaeologist takes the box and shows them how stupid they are.

Ending the same.

3.

TITLES OVER BLACK

Egypt 1893

EXT. EGYPT – DUSK

An excavation site with WORKMEN digging and shouting in mixed dialects. In the distance stand the majestic pyramids. One team of four, work away from the rest. MURMURING IN ARABIC.

The Egyptian SERVANT, strong in stature and discerning, leaves the men and walks toward the leader, a European ARCHEOLOGIST who stands gazing across the land. He wipes his brow discouraged, it has been a long dig.

SERVANT

The men have been working very hard they need water and rest. They say there is nothing here.

ARCHEOLOGIST

One drink, and then back to work.

SERVANT

(In Arabic; subtitled)

Drink then work.

The workmen sit drinking; the Archeologist sips whisky away from the men. No one notices the sand begins to ripple softly around the group. The ripples grow and fear invades the workmen.

The sand moves more deeply, two men run in fear. The other workman and the servant get swept in the whirlpool as the sand tunnels downward. The archeologist watches terrified.

The sand finally settles into a hole. The workman crawls out. The servant at the bottom of the hole sees a hard surface sticking out of the sand wall.

SERVANT

(In Arabic; subtitled)

Master!

The Archeologist goes to the edge of the hole.

ARCHEOLOGIST

Bring it up. Let’s see.

The workman jumps into the hole. He helps the servant pull out an ornately carved box, its lid inlaid with gems.

The servant becomes agitated as he looks at the carvings around the box, he shakes his head. The archeologist pushes him aside removing the 15 inches square & 8 inches deep box. The archeologist smiles.

ARCHEOLOGIST

This will fetch a good price in the land of opportunity.

SERVANT

Where are we going, master?

ARCHEOLOGIST

America.

A hot wind blows the sand, the tall pyramids in the distance fade.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by  Christina Parker.