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Day 16 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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6 Replies
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Gerry Cousins – I have completed ACT I of my 2-act stage play.
While it may still be a tiny bit overwritten, it is already vastly better. I’m now well into the second act, which has a brand new ending. Can’t wait to get to Final Draft.
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Ron’s Act 2 TP
What I learned from writing this lesson: this is the “Secret Sauce”, the emotional journey for the audience. When the “meaning” changes (as the lesson talks about the changes in “meaning” in the 4 movies used as examples), it’s like fuel for the story. It deepens our understanding of what our hero is up to, and by now we must be invested in that hero. Not “likeable” necessarily, I suppose, although that makes it easier. But it means if our hero is to succeed, the stakes are different, or the chances are different, or SOMETHING significant has changed and we are now “hooked” for the rest of the ride.
Key Scene 4: The Midpoint
EXT- BASE SHOWERS – DAY
Cooch complains to HOFFMAN about losing a shot at two destroyers
Hoffman takes CUCCINELLI aside
Hoffman advises “you’re going to get caught and disciplined, I’ll play ball with you tonight but if we get caught, I’m going to blame you”
Cooch storms off, argumentative
EXT – BASE SHOWERS – DAY
CUCCINELLI is in an outdoor shower stall, and while showering he’s discussing his disappointment at missing a shot at taking down two destroyers
HOFFMAN says “I will play ball with you tonight but if we get caught I’ll blame you for instigating the whole thing”
CUCCINELLI first reacts with an “OK, I understand” but as he leaves the shower area to get back to the hooch, he starts to feel sold out
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Carol Dougherty has completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment: It feels like I’m learning so much on the fly, as I feel like I’m literally flying through this process. That’s not a bad thing. I do see how I tend to stop and fuss over something, and with this process I can’t. That’s fine, but also I’m aware that this Act is very long. I’m going to put it all in, other than what gets cut on the fly, but it will take some serious editing later.
Outlines:
Pub scene
BEGINNING: Pen, Terry, Kate, and Sebastian go to the pub after a late rehearsal
MIDDLE: Pen compliments Terry on his Orsino, says she was wrong. Terry and Sebastian play darts while Pen and Kate talk about Pen’s earlier rehearsal. T & S return and they talk about performances and old English music halls. Michael, a fellow student of Kate’s shows up looking for her and joins them. Kate is not thrilled, Terry is charmed, Pen is annoyed.
END: Pen leaves, asks Kate if she wants to walk back with her but Kate says no. Pen catches a ride with Sandy and flirts with her.
Sandy
BEGINNING: Pen and Sandy get in car.
MIDDLE: They chat, and when Sandy pulls up at the farm, Pen makes a pass at her. Sandy goes along but they stop.
END: Sandy looks at her with compassion and Pen is filled with shame.
Rehearsal ends too soon
BEGINNING: Rehearsal ends for the day.
MIDDLE: Pen wants to keep going but Sebastian says they can’t. She can’t get Terry to work with her at home later as he has a dinner with Michael.
END: Kate agrees to help her out.
Morning after
BEGINNING: Pen is out in garden early when Kate stops by.
MIDDLE: They talk about the night before and agree to be friends. Kate askes about Danni and Pen flashes back to the night Danni dies.
END: Pen explains some of the story to Kate, not all.
Of jealousy and Kate
BEGINNING: Pen tries to do something to make Kate jealous.
MIDDLE: It backfires, and Kate walks away instead of it making her jealous. In rehearsal Pen uses a gesture Kate used in their rehearsal. Terry and Sebastian love it.
END: Kate is upset and leaves.
Sebastian and the swans
BEGINNING: Sebastian goes out to talk to Kate
MIDDLE: He tells her Pen is like the swans – she acts out of her nature and if Kate wants to be with her in any way she has to accept that.
END: Kate agrees to think about it.
Pen and Kate talk
BEGINNING: Pen apologizes for hurting Kate.
MIDDLE: The discuss why Kate is really hurt and Pen says as an actor she uses what is in front of her all the time. She doesn’t intend to hurt Kate but can’t limit herself as an actor.
END: They part okay with each other; Kate realizes Pen’s silver pear necklace fell off and picks it up to give back to her.
Revelations
BEGINNING: Kate gives the necklace back to Pen in front of Terry and he recognizes it.
MIDDLE: Terry demands Pen tell him where it came from, realizes she was Danni’s lover, and walks out.
END: Pen is furious with him for walking out and terrified she’s lost her best friend.
Forgiveness
BEGINNING: Terry visits Pen after a few days
MIDDLE: They talk about Danni and about their relationship.
END: Terry is glad Danni had her and gives his blessing to her and Kate.
Another opening…
BEGINNING: A slightly drunken Kate visits Pen in her dressing room.
MIDDLE: Kate makes a pass at Pen, who gently turns her down.
END: Kate leaves, hurt and upset.
Snake in the grass
BEGINNING: At opening night party, Pen sees Michael flirting with Laurence behind Terry’s back.
MIDDLE: She confronts Michael who laughs at her and sneers at Terry.
END: Terry comes to tell her Kate is under the weather and they leave to take her home.
Hangover morning
BEGINNING: Kate is hungover.
MIDDLE: She talks with Pen in the garden and confesses her desire for Pen to want her, not Sam.
END: Terry shows up to make sure Kate has had her hangover drink.
At the track
BEGINNING: Pen, Terry, Michael, and Kate go to the track to see one of Sam’s horses run.
MIDDLE: Sam’s wife and son show up and when Sam tries to smooth it over, the boy throws a glass of red wine at Pen. Kate steps in front of her and it soaks her white shirt.
END: The four of them leave the family to themselves/ uncomfortable car ride home.
Check in
BEGINNING: Terry comes to check in with Kate the morning after the track debacle.
MIDDLE: He asks her if she’s in love with Kate and she refuses to answer.
END: Terry lets her know he’s there for her and leaves.
Check out
BEGINNING: Sam comes in after Terry leaves and acts like nothing happened.
MIDDLE: Pen points out that his wife seemed quite upset and he lied to Pen. They argue and Pen breaks up with him.
END: Sam leaves, furious, and says he’s selling the farm and they’ll be out on their ears.
Break Up
BEGINNING: Pen hears Michael break up with Terry in the garden.
MIDDLE: She goes out after and comforts him.
END: Kate comes home, and they put their differences behind them to help Terry.
Act 2, Draft 1
INT. REHEARSAL HALL – DAY
Pen stands with a light fleece throw around her shoulders, approximating a cloak. She is acutely aware of Kate watching next to Sebastian. The scene only has Pen and Sandy at this point and a handful of others in the room.
Pen is unsettled after her time with Kate in the rowboat. She tried to fill her time so as not to think too much. She’d gone to the company meeting, practiced yoga, went to an evening performance, even pitched in to help Jacky in the green room for a while. Nothing worked.
STAGE MANAGER
Ms. Parrish?
PEN AS VIOLA/CESARIO
(nods and pulls the cloak tight)
Make me a willow cabin at your gate,
And call upon my soul within the house.
Pen glimpses Kate’s face and stops. Everyone remained dead silent.
PEN AS VIOLA/CESARIO
Hallow your name to the reverberate hills,
And make the babbling gossip of the air
Cry out, ‘Olivia…’
Pen stopped again. Sandy waited for the rest of the line, glanced at Sebastian. The fleece throw slipped from one shoulder and Pen threw it to the floor.
PEN AS VIOLA/CESARIO
That’s it, Sebastian, I’m through.
Shocked gasps are heard in the room.
PEN AS VIOLA/CESARIO
(glares at Sebastian)
I can’t do it. How could anyone be so bloody stupid as this woman? I can’t play the part when I see her as nothing but a silly twit. You’ll need time to get someone else up to speed on this part. Best to start right now.
Sebastian doesn’t move, doesn’t take his eyes off Pen.
PEN AS VIOLA/CESARIO
I’m not being a prima donna. I’m thinking of the company. And whoever plays her. It takes time to make it work, for the cast to adjust to a new Viola.
(she stares, baffled by his lack of response, shrugs her shoulders)
Well, that’s it then.
Pen drops the fleece on a makeshift divan and crosses the rehearsal hall to the bench under the window to gather her things. Her fingers shake so much she struggles to unfasten the straps of her bag.
Sebastian comes up behind her. A strong, manicured hand covers both of hers. She looks up to meet his eyes, filled with compassion.
SEBASTIAN
(voice low)
I won’t stop you if you really want to go, Penelope. But I don’t believe you do.
(takes her hands in his)
Do you trust me?
(she nods)
Let’s try the scene again. I’ll be with you.
Sebastian leads her toward Sandy. One arm circles her waist, his other hand holds both of hers. He leans close and rests his forehead against hers. They stand that way for a long moment, then he begins to pivot.
Little by little he moves slightly faster, takes small steps, raises his head and slips behind Pen until they are sweeping in a wide circle, their faces up and out. It is like two swans, swimming as one on the lake. He slows and stops.
Pen faces Sandy, and in one of the seats behind her, Kate, who sits with a rapt expression on her face.
SEBASTIAN
(whispers)
Begin, Cassandra.
SANDY AS OLIVIA
Why, what would you?
Pen focused her attention on Sandy. Sebastian still had one arm around her waist and was pressed against her back. She wore him like a second skin. His intention seemed to transmit itself to her through some magical osmosis and she let go.
PEN AS VIOLA/CESARIO
Make me a willow cabin at your gate,
And call upon my soul within the house…
Sandy and Pen intensify the pace through the remainder of the scene. Sebastian lets Pen go, though she can still feel him there. At the end of the scene Pen and Sandy spontaneously hug.
Pen glances at Katie, whose eyes are wet, her expression awed. Pen turns away.
SEBASTIAN
Well done.
PEN
Thank you.
Sebastian nods to the stage manager, who announces a break. Sebastian takes Sandy aside and talks to her.
Pen escapes back to the window seat and stretches. Kate approaches from behind her.
KATE
Pen?
Pen stops stretching and closes her eyes. A moment later she turns.
PEN
Hello, Katie.
KATE
Your scene was wonderful. You made me cry.
PEN
I saw.
(pulls on a sweater)
Sit.
(they both sit on the bench)
Are you learning a lot from Sebastian?
KATE
Oh, so much. He’s always asking me about what I see, but it never feels like he’s testing me.
(pauses)
Pen, don’t you want to talk about the scene?
PEN
(stifles a sigh)
You’re so very direct, Katie. It can be disconcerting, you know. Perhaps we could talk another time?
Kate immediately gets to her feet.
KATE
Sure.
She pauses for a second, then walks away, her back stiff. Pen watches her go.
INT. PUB – NIGHT
Pen, Terry, Kate, and Sebastian are at a favorite pub. The front area, where the bar is, has most of the tables and a darts area. They sit on a slightly elevated level at a round table which is usually where Sebastian holds court when he comes in. On this night, everyone else is leaving them alone.
Pen notices Kate has her attention on Terry, who is telling a story, but she seems miles away. She glances at Sebastian, who is watching them, and she takes a drink.
TERRY
I don’t think any of you are listening. I am offended.
(with a grin)
SEBASTIAN
Nonsense. You were telling Katelyn about your music hall experiences.
KATE
You all seem to love the old English music halls. Too bad there’s nothing like it around here.
TERRY
I’ve seen some DVDs and CDs online. Not quite the same, but not bad. And there’s always Olivier’s film, The Entertainer. Sebastian, care for a game of darts?
PEN
I am not coming over to watch you two play again. It’s pathetic.
SEBASTIAN
Never mind, my darling. You and Katelyn can sit her and deplore our appalling lack of skill.
Terry and Sebastian go over to the darts, several other members of the company move from the bar to join them.
As soon as they are out of earshot, Kate speaks.
KATE
Pen, did I upset you at rehearsal today?
PEN
No.
KATE
Then what happened? Why wouldn’t you talk with me?
PEN
(with a rueful smile)
I’m not very good at explaining myself. Maybe I need someone to write my lines for me.
Kate smiles back and waits.
PEN
There’s nothing else when I work. Nothing. No one. And Viola is not an easy part for me, as you may have noticed.
(drinks)
Sebastian has a way of working that encourages actors to deep and uncover truths that are difficult to experience at times. No one can explain exactly what he does or how he does it, but I’ve never met anyone who can bring out a performance like he can.
(she watches him play darts for a moment)
His rehearsals are inspiring, exhilarating, and exhausting. Terry can dive into a part, shatter everyone in the rehearsal hall with his emotional intensity, then during the break he can laugh and chat like nothing happened. I can’t.
KATE
I’ve seen you talk with Terry during breaks.
PEN
(shakes her head)
Not the same thing. We’re acting together, he’s my partner. We’ve been a part of each other’s lives since we were children.
KATE
I appreciate your candor, Pen. I can’t say I completely understand it, but I’ll try not to invade your space in rehearsals again.
The front door of the pub opens, and they both look
up at the stranger, a young man, who enters. The color drains from Kate’s face.
The young man, MICHAEL (27), moves through the crowd with the regal grace of a lion, and lights up the room with an aura of burnished gold, from the wavy locks that cascade to his shoulders to the metallic shimmer of gold threads woven into the fabric of his shirt.
He checks each booth and table, hunting for someone. Terry gets one look at him and goes over to greet him. They speak briefly and Terry points toward Pen and Kate.
Michael’s head snaps around. He sees Kate and lets out a crow of delight.
MICHAEL
Kate! Finally.
KATE
Michael.
She watches him lope toward them with a poker face, and Pen wonders who he is and why Kate doesn’t seem too happy to see him.
KATE
What are you doing here? I only got your letter today.
MICHAEL
Fine. I’m fine.
(he appraises her with a glance)
You look good, Kate, really good. This place agrees with you.
He flashes an ingratiating smile at Pen.
MICHAEL
(to Kate)
Aren’t you going to introduce me?
KATE
Of course. Pen, this is a friend of mine from school, Michael Lindquist. Michael, Penny Parrish.
Pen holds out a hand to him.
PEN
(friendly, not warm)
How nice to meet a friend of Katie’s.
His eyes narrow when Pen calls her Katie.
MICHAEL
Wow.
(he shakes hands)
It’s great to meet you Ms. Parrish. I love your work. Kate must have told you we drove through the night last fall to catch your final performance in Antony and Cleopatra.
Pen glances at Kate, startled. Kate refuses to meet her eyes.
PEN
No, she didn’t say, but then we’ve had quite a busy rehearsal schedule.
Michael shoots an irritated look at Kate, then turns the smile back on when Terry and Sebastian rejoin them.
PEN
Michael Lindquist, I’d like you to meet Sebastian St. James and Terence Patrick Gibbs. Michael is a friend of Katie’s.
Everyone sits at the table and more drinks appear. Michael and Terry sit next to one another and are engaged in a quiet discussion, while Kate sits and watches Michael apprehensively.
Sebastian also observes Terry and Michael with a slight frown. He exchanges concerned glances with Pen.
PEN
(quietly)
Katie? I think I’m going to head home. Would you like to walk with me?
KATE
(glances at Michael)
I don’t think so. I think I’ll stay awhile.
Down near the bar, Sandy put on her jacket. Pen slid out of her seat.
PEN
I’m knackered. Think I’ll catch a ride with Sandy.
She darts toward the door to intercept Sandy.
PEN
Sandy! Would you mind dropping me off at the farm?
Sandy spins around, red curls bouncing.
SANDY
Sure Pen, my car’s right outside.
Sandy and Pen exit. Pen glances up to the elevated table before going out the door, and Kate is watching her.
INT. SANDY’S SUBARU – NIGHT
SANDY
Who was that striking man with you tonight?
PEN
A friend of Kate’s. A classmate.
Sandy pulls out with quiet competence and drives through the darkened streets. She chats about the crowd in the pub, but Pen doesn’t hear a word. She is remembering Kate’s apprehensive expression when she looks at Michael.
SANDY
We’re here.
Pen looks out to see they are parked in front of the cottage, engine idling. The outdoor light sensor has activated the lights, casting a mixture of light and shadow into the car.
SANDY
Is everything okay, Pen?
PEN
I don’t know.
Sandy reaches across the car to give her a comforting hug. Pen starts to pull back, then impulsively returns the hug and kisses Sandy. Sandy responds, then pulls back, eyes wary.
PEN
(flustered)
Thanks, Sandy. See you in rehearsal.
Pen jumps out of the car without waiting for a response and strides to the front door. The car tires crunch on the gravel behind her and she is alone.
INT. REHEARSAL HALL – DAY
Much of the company is scattered around the rehearsal hall at the end of a long and grueling rehearsal.
SEBASTIAN
All right, my darlings. Let’s call it a day.
There is an audible sigh of relief in the room.
PEN
Can’t we go over that last scene again?
A collective groan goes up from the company. Sebastian glances at the stage manager who shakes his head.
SEBASTIAN
Sorry, Penelope. Much as I would love to continue, we must follow Equity rules.
The other actors move quickly to get out of there. Pen stands in front of Sebastian, clearly unhappy.
SEBASTIAN
It wasn’t a wasted day, my dear.
PEN
It feels as if it was.
SEBASTIAN
Forget the words for now, Penelope. Focus on how it feels in your body. How is Viola relating to Orsino at this point in their relationship?
Pen nods slowly. She knows she’s been in her head all day. Terry goes over to Kate, who waits for Sebastian.
PEN
Terry, can we work at home tonight for a bit?
TERRY
(shakes his head)
Sorry, brat, I have plans.
Terry gives Pen a pat on the shoulder and goes out the door. She knew it was Michael. Sebastian’s eyes flicker in acknowledgment.
SEBASTIAN
Perhaps Katelyn can help, or at the least, feed you cues?
KATE
(nods)
Sure, I’d be happy to do it, Pen.
PEN
All right. Come over to my cottage around seven. And thank you, Katie.
INT. PEN’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Pen is seated on one of the wing-backed chairs in her living room, while Kate is sitting at one end of the sofa. The living room layout is the same as Terry’s, but there is no grand piano, and Pen’s color scheme, like her dressing room, is peach, light gray, and greens.
PEN
This isn’t going to work. I need to be on my feet, words and actions together to sort this out. Do you mind?
KATE
No, but you may have to tell me what to do.
PEN
Orsino is sitting on his settee; shift yourself sideways.
Pen gets up and pushes and pulls until Kate is seated with her back to the arm of the couch.
PEN
Once I start the speech that begins with, “A blank, my lord,” Orsino literally withdraws further and further into himself. He’s sitting with his forehead resting on his knees, at which point Viola comes over to try to break through to him. When I put my hand on your shoulder, that’s the cue for you to raise your head and give me the next line.
KATE
Okay.
Pen takes a moment to get into character.
PEN AS VIOLA/CESARIO
My father had a daughter loved a man
as it might be perhaps, were I a woman, I should your lordship.
KATE AS ORSINO
And what’s her history?
Pen turns away; Viola can’t let Orsino see her face and emotion.
PEN AS VIOLA/CESARIO
A blank, my lord; she never told her love, but let concealment like a worm in the bud feed on her damask cheek.
Kate/Orsino is sitting with her forehead on her knees. Pen/Viola turns and sees Kate/Orsino’s posture and goes to him. She crouches beside him, her left hand clasps his forearm, her right hand on his shoulder. The audience can see her face, though Orsino can’t, which is suffused with adoration.
PEN AS VIOLA/CESARIO
Was not this love indeed?
Unsatisfied, Pen tried it again and again. One time Pen’s right hand ended up on Kate’s neck instead of her shoulder and Kate jumped. Pen was startled and lost her balance, toppling over from her crouching posture and rolling on the floor.
Kate tries unsuccessfully to keep a straight face.
KATE
Are you alright?
PEN
(laughing)
I’d best anchor myself a bit better.
(gets to her feet)
I’d rather not tumble about onstage. It’s bound to end badly. Let’s try it again.
The next try Pen plants one knee firmly on the carpet. No longer focused on balance, Pen becomes aware of Kate’s proximity.
PEN AS VIOLA/CESARIO
Was not this love indeed?
Kate/Orsino raises her head and turns to Pen/Viola. Their eyes are very close and Kate forgets the line. They kiss. The sound of tires on the gravel causes Pen to pull back a little. Kate’s lips are parted, her expression dazed.
PEN
I think we should talk.
KATE
Now?
PEN
Oh hell!
Pen leans in and resumes the kiss. Kate’s hand creeps up Pen’s arm to stroke the side of her neck in a shy, tentative caress. Pen releases her abruptly and stands, then backs away.
PEN
Yes, we should talk now. I need a glass of wine. Would you like one?
Kate nods. Pen goes over to a dry bar in the corner of the room and pours two glasses of wine with shaking hands.
Pen goes over to the sofa and gives Kate her wine, then sits on the wing-backed chair opposite. She takes a long drink of wine.
KATE
(shaky laugh)
Was the kiss that bad?
PEN
Not at all.
KATE
I mean, I know I don’t have lots of experience, but –
PEN
Have you had any relationships?
KATE
(insulted)
Yes!
PEN
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you, but I did wonder about you and Michael.
KATE
Michael made a play for me last semester, after he knew I’d be here for the summer. It was obvious he wanted to get himself invited here, only when I didn’t invite him he showed up anyway. We’re fellow students, nothing more.
PEN
You see, Katie, I really don’t know you at all. And there is a kind of innocence about you…
(sees Kate staring down)
Are you listening to me?
Kate lifts her head and lashes out, voice tight.
KATE
Why should I? Terry warns me not to get involved with you. You ask if I’ve ever been in a relationship. You and Terry seem to think I’m some kind of helpless child or idiot who needs to be protected. You only eight years older than I am. What gives you or Terry the right?
PEN
(gently)
We don’t think you’re an idiot or a child. And we’re both very fond of you, we care about you. And I do have a well-deserved reputation. At least Sam had been around the block a few times.
KATE
Sam?
PEN
Terry told you about him – he said he had. Sam owns the farm, the racehorses, all of it. When Sam and I got involved, he knew what he was getting into. It suited both of us to have an open relationship.
KATE
(pales)
Terry told me Sam owned this place, that you knew him. He didn’t say how well. You’re involved with the man who owns my cottage?
PEN
Yes, why?
Kate looks stricken.
PEN
Does it matter?
KATE
(nods)
Yes. It matters.
PEN
I don’t understand.
KATE
Pen, you’re in a relationship with someone. I had no business asking you to go out in that boat with me, much less to kiss you tonight.
PEN
Funny, I thought I kissed you.
KATE
It never would have come to that, either way, if I’d known.
PEN
You can’t be serious.
KATE
Completely. I don’t believe it’s honorable to interfere with other people’s relationships.
Pen’s eyes narrow, wondering if this is some weird way to say she’s not interested after all.
PEN
Honorable? Katie, where did you get such an antiquated notion? No one worries about such
things.
KATE
Maybe not in your world.
PEN
We live in the same bloody world – what are you talking about?
Kate puts down her untouched wine and goes into the kitchen. Pen can hear the water run for a bit. When Kate returns to the living room her face is damp, her eyes red-rimmed but determined.
KATE
Sorry, Pen. I’m not sure I can explain it any better.
PEN
Try me. I’m a reasonably intelligent person.
KATE
It’s not that. It’s just that I don’t want to sound like I’m preaching.
PEN
(scowls)
You’re joking. This is about religious beliefs.
KATE
(raises her chin)
In a way. It’s about integrity. I don’t want to participate in what some people might call casual sex or sexual misconduct.
PEN
Sexual misconduct? You call a simple kiss sexual misconduct? You must be mad.
KATE
It’s the intention that’s the problem. I didn’t know about Sam when I kissed you. I do now. So if I went ahead and kissed you now, knowing you’re in a relationship, it’s…it’s a lack of respect towards you – even towards myself. It’s…dishonorable.
PEN
Dishonorable? Sam and I are non-monogamous – he has his wife, I have my own interests. We choose that freely – doesn’t that matter to you?
KATE
For me, that would just be a way to rationalize the situation, so I could do what I want.
PEN
Oh, I see. You do want to kiss me but you won’t because of some archaic principles. Because you’re noble. It’s not that you’ve come up with this ludicrous story because you’ve changed your mind about me?
Kate was on her knees in front of Pen in a heartbeat. She took Pen’s hands in hers and met her gaze.
KATE
You can’t believe I could change my mind about you! I can hardly see straight most of the time when you’re around.
The tension in Pen’s shoulders and neck relaxes. Kate lays her cheek on Pen’s hands as if in supplication. Pen looks down at her, baffled and moved. Kate eventually lifts her head and looks at Pen, her heart in her eyes, her voice unsteady.
KATE
Think about Viola – you’ve been rehearsing the part for weeks. You know as well as I do she would never betray Orsino’s trust in her, even if it meant she could win him by doing it.
PEN
Viola – what does this have to do…?
KATE
All right. You want me to say it – I do want you Pen, more than I’ve wanted anyone or anything in my life. But not while you’re involved in another relationship. Regardless of how you see it, it isn’t respectful to either of us. I can’t do that to myself.
PEN
But you aren’t respecting my feelings, Katie.
KATE
You’re the one who pulled back from the kiss, not me.
PEN
I didn’t want to take advantage of your innocence. Bloody hell, I never thought this would happen.
KATE
What did you think would happen?
Pen’s face softens and her hands return Kate’s clasp.
PEN
I didn’t think. It wasn’t about thinking. I hoped that even if I gave you the chance to think about it that ultimately you would decide it was worth the risk to get involved with me.
(her voice gets husky)
I hoped that we might end the evening in my bed, Katie, and spend a lovely night together. Maybe many lovely nights.
KATE
(whisper)
I wish I could.
Kate presses her lips to Pen’s hands, gets up and leaves. Pen watches her go out the door in complete disbelief.
EXT. PEN’S GARDEN – EARLY MORNING
Pen is working with her roses, trimming, weeding, adding mulch where needed. She has jeans and a sweatshirt on and a pair of gardening gloves. It is chilly and she tries to stay warm by keeping herself moving.
KATE
Terry?
Pen looks up to see Terry heading off with the dogs and Kate standing on the road, watching. Kate turns around and sees Pen. She waves and Pen waves back. With that encouragement, Kate heads toward her.
KATE
Morning, Pen.
PEN
Morning yourself. You’re up early.
KATE
Mind if I join you?
PEN
Not at all. I’ll put you to work. Can you grab that small tub of mulch out of that storeroom, and one of the hand spades?
KATE
Sure.
She finds the right things and takes them over to Pen, who is working on a rosebush with peach roses.
KATE
Here you go.
PEN
Thanks.
KATE
Those are gorgeous.
PEN
It’s the first bush I planted here. It’s taken me three years to get this garden in shape.
She does a bit of pruning then steps back.
PEN
Brilliant. Now, can you take the spade and put mulch around the bottom of the bush, out as far as the branches reach. Don’t pack it tight, and if you want gloves there should be an extra pair where you found these.
Pen moves on to the next rosebush and Kate gets a pair of gloves.
KATE
I’m sorry if I upset you last night.
Pen keeps pulling out twigs and dead leaves from under the bush.
KATE
Maybe all the stuff I said didn’t make much sense.
Pen glances over at her.
PEN
It did, Katie. You were very clear.
(turns to face Kate)
I was hurt Katie. I’ve rarely had the experience of being turned down.
(she smiles)
I won’t lie to you – I wish very much that your decision were different. There’s still a lot of summer ahead of us and a lot of rehearsal. Let’s continue as friends, the way you and Terry are.
KATE
I’d like that.
Kate flashes her a shy grin with a hint of new confidence which Pen is aware comes from Kate knowing Pen wants her. She feels a bit of concern about damaging that confidence if she follows through on her plan, but it’s always worked before.
Pen turns back to work on her roses, and Kate does the same.
KATE
Can you tell me about Danni?
Pen’s drops her trimmers. In the distance, across the lake a siren wails, and it takes Pen back.
INT. PEN’S LIVING ROOM IN SEVENOAKS – EARLY MORNING FIFTEEN YEARS EARLIER
Pen is 18, listening to a siren come closer and closer in the dawn. She’d been awake in the living room all night, worried about Danni. She could still hear his roars of anger as he tried to get to them in the wild thicket in the woods. Danni told her to escape, that she could handle him better alone, so Pen did.
Pen was alone all night, her mother out for the weekend, and she waited and waited all night for a call from Danni that never came.
Footsteps thud on the pavement outside coming up the pavement to the house, a knock on the door makes her jump. Pen yanks it open to find 19-year-old Terry on the stoop. His face is like stone, his dark eyes full of anguish which fill up with tears and spill down his cheeks.
PEN
What’s wrong?
TERRY
(barely whispers)
It’s Danni.
PEN
Tell me, Terry. What about Danni?
TERRY
She’s dead.
Pen’s hands clutch his shirt sleeves and she sags against him.
PEN
How? What happened?
Terry shakes his head against her, his body convulsed with sobs.
PEN
(frantic)
Tell me, Terry. What happened to Danni?
He tries to calm his breathing enough to speak, and when he finally does speak it is with occasional gasps for air.
TERRY
Dad said he found her – with a boyfriend. The coward must have left her alone – to face him.
Silent sobs shake his body for a few minutes and Pen holds him tight in despair.
TERRY
Dad beat her, but she wouldn’t say who it was. He locked her in her room and went to look for the boyfriend. He told her he’d kill the bloody bastard when he found him and then send her back to her grandmother in the country.
PEN
The one where her uncle –
Terry nods and Pen shakes her head in disbelief. Terry pulls back, his face red and blotched with tears. His lips trembled and he looked at her with eyes that didn’t see her.
TERRY
He was out all night looking. When he got back, she had hung herself.
There is a roaring sound in Pen’s ears. Terry’s lips are moving but she can’t hear him. Her lovely, tender Danni hung herself?
TERRY
– kill that cowardly bastard.
PEN
Your stepfather?
TERRY
(growls)
No. The coward who left her there, all alone, to face him.
Pen stares at him, horrified to realize that if he finds out she was that coward, she would lose him as well as Danni.
Terry clutches her again, his body shaking with silent grief. It would destroy him as well as her if he knew, so she would bear it alone.
The shaking gets worse until Pen is shaken back to the present.
EXT. PEN’S GARDEN – EARLY MORNING
Kate is holding Pen by both arms and shaking her.
KATE
Pen? Are you alright?
Pen blinks and looks into Kate’s worried face.
PEN
What?
KATE
Are you alright? You’re crying.
Pen reaches up and brushes away the tears. She steps back from Kate, reaches for the silver pear necklace she wears always out of sight and fingers it. It was a gift from Danni that night, and Pen was careful not to let Terry ever see it because Danni said it belonged to their mother.
Pen sees Kate notice the necklace and tucks it back into her sweater.
PEN
You asked about Danni.
(swallows hard)
Sorry. You said her name, and then the siren, and – She was Terry’s half-sister and she killed herself fifteen years ago.
KATE
Oh, Pen, no!
PEN
Yes. It’s still painful for him.
(takes a breath and wipes away the tear tracks)
And for me. How did you hear about her?
KATE
I didn’t, really. Terry and I were having coffee. I saw her name in the front of one his books and asked him about her. He just took the book from me, put it back on the shelf and took the dogs out for a walk.
PEN
(nods)
He’ll come back.
KATE
What was she like?
PEN
She was a few years older than we were, but somehow, she seemed younger, less worldly. You remind Terry of Danni. That’s why he was so protective of you.
KATE
Why did she kill herself?
PEN
It’s complicated, Katie, and not my story to tell. If Terry wants to talk about it, he will.
KATE
I’m sorry, Pen. Thanks for telling me what you could.
A piercing whistle split the air. Terry and the dogs were almost back.
PEN
I’ll run in and wash my face. I’d rather Terry didn’t see me like this. See you at rehearsal, Katie.
INT. REHEARSAL HALL – DAY – SEVERAL HOURS LATER
Pen sits on her window seat in the rehearsal hall, pretending to study lines as she waits for Kate. A dozen or more people are scattered around the large room reading, napping, or stretching.
Pen is still raw from reliving the memories of Danni and uncomfortable that after she and Kate talked earlier, she still intends to see if she can make her jealous.
Experience tells her that if Kate sees someone else might take me up on my flirtation, her scruples will fly out the window. Not admirable, but effective.
Kate enters the rehearsal hall with the stage manager, the two of them talking quietly. They finish and she takes her seat and jots down some notes.
Pen gets up and moves quickly to Sandy, who has entered behind them, wearing a gorgeous cobalt sweater.
PEN
Sandy, what a lovely color on you!
Sandy and Kate turn and look at her as if on cue. Pen lays one hand on Sandy’s arm and lets her hand travel from elbow to shoulder and rest there.
PEN
Is this cashmere?
Sandy’s eyes flicker to Kate and back to Pen, and cynical understanding gleams in them. With a twist of her lips, she responds with a chuckle.
SANDY
Trust you to sniff out something soft.
Quick footsteps tap a hasty retreat behind Pen, and she turns to see Kate’s back vanish through the door of the rehearsal hall. Her shoulders slump. Jealous lovers fight for what they want, they don’t run away.
Sandy puts a hand on Pen’s shoulder. Pen whirls around to see her cynical expression morph into a look of compassion.
PEN
(backs away)
Oh, right, um, sorry Sandy, I –
Pen turns and flees to the window seat. She pulls out her schedule – they are starting with the scene she and Kate rehearsed the night before. At least she is somewhat prepared for that.
Terry comes in and immediately makes his way over to Pen. Behind him, Sebastian and Kate come in talking. Kate never looks over.
TERRY
Morning, brat!
He drops his bag on the floor and does a brief stretch.
PEN
I came up with some new business last night.
TERRY
Good, I’m glad the extra session was productive. Anything I need to know?
STAGE MANAGER
Places, everyone.
PEN
Follow my lead, that’s all.
Terry replies with a smile, and they move to their places in the scene. When Pen gets to Viola/Cesario’s description of her sister’s history, which is actually her history, Pen imbues the lines with the passionate tenderness with which Kate had spoken to her.
PEN AS VIOLA/CESARIO
She pined in thought and with a green and yellow melancholy, sat like Patience on a monument smiling at grief.
On one knee beside him, Pen takes Terry’s hands in hers and lays her cheek on his hands in silent supplication as Kate had done.
Terry responds naturally to Pen’s every movement as if he’d been rehearsing with her the previous evening.
Something in that simple gesture of Kate’s clicks for both of them and the scene vibrates with emotional and sexual tension.
The rehearsal hall is silent, the attention of the company palpable.
Pen lifts her head and looks up at him with earnest sincerity.
PEN AS VIOLA/CESARIO
Was not this love indeed?
When the scene ends, the room is silent for a moment, then there is a buzz of excitement. Terry beams at Pen with pride. His focus shifts suddenly and he frowns.
Pen turns to see Kate, pale, speak softly to Sebastian then leave the room. Sebastian watches her go, then turns back to Pen and Terry. He makes a gesture to the stage manager.
STAGE MANAGER
10-minute break everyone.
SEBASTIAN
(walks over to Pen and Terry)
Absolutely lovely, both of you.
TERRY
What was wrong with Kate?
SEBASTIAN
She wouldn’t say. Only that she needed air. If she doesn’t come back shortly, I’ll go check on her.
(looks directly at Pen)
Don’t pull back, Penelope. What happened today is critical to the success of this production. Do not pull back.
PEN
I won’t.
Sebastian leaves and draws the stage manager out of the room with him.
TERRY
That was terrific work, Pen.
PEN
Thanks. I’m going to see if I can check in with Katie before we get started again.
(looks around at the idle actors)
Can you get a short workout going for everyone? It was a little soon for a break.
TERRY
Sure. Good luck.
EXT. LAKESIDE – DAY – IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING
Pen sees them as soon as she steps out the door. Kate and Sebastian sit on a bench at the lake, near a pair of swans swimming in the water.
Pen perches on a nearby picnic table rather than interrupt and fingers the silver pear on the chain around her neck.
When Sebastian spoke, she could hear some of what he said and sat very quiet.
SEBASTIAN
What are you most upset about, Katelyn?
KATE
I didn’t see it coming. Maybe I should have.
(shakes her head)
How could she? That was a private moment, a gesture of – it was just between us. How could she use me, my feelings, my actions, in a character? On a stage, in front of hundreds of people when the play opens. What happened between us – that was just for her.
Sebastian nods. He looks out over the lake at the two swans.
SEBASTIAN
Have you ever attempted to feed the swans?
They watch the swans circle each other, then move together in a circle.
KATE
No.
SEBASTIAN
Nasty brutes, swans. If you have food and don’t offer some, they’ll come right up out of the water and snatch it out of your hand.
(pauses)
It’s their nature.
The two swans swoop and swirl in the water, always together, always in unison.
Sebastian turns to Kate and puts a hand on her shoulder.
SEBASTIAN
It’s her nature. She’s an actor. You must understand that, or you can have no relationship at all.
He pats her shoulder and walks back toward the theatre. He and Pen nod to each other as he passes.
Pen tucks the necklace back inside her blouse and makes her way down to Kate on the bench.
PEN
May I?
Kate looks up, surprised. She nods and turns back to the swans.
PEN
Katie, you know my life is acting. I thought you knew that I draw from everything. That’s what all actors do.
KATE
You never said anything. You never told me you were going to –
PEN
Why should I?
KATE
It would have been kind.
PEN
You should know by now, I’m not kind.
KATE
(glances at her for a second)
You have been.
PEN
You seem to think this is all about you, Katie. I’m trying to create a character. How did you think I would do that?
KATE
I didn’t think…
PEN
All I can tell you is that I use anything and everything to bring a character to life. Your gesture last night unlocked a key for me to the character of Viola. Maybe it isn’t nice of me. I didn’t get to be this successful being nice.
(Kate nods)
Is there anything else you’d like to talk about?
KATE
No.
PEN
Good.
(stand up)
Kate sits, looking over the water, shoulders slumped. Pen feels a stab of remorse. She might not be kind, but it would be decidedly unkind to leave Kate like this.
PEN
I never meant to hurt you. You understand Viola in a way I never did until after I worked with you last night.
Kate looks up at Pen, tear tracks on her face. Pen reaches out and brushes the tears away with her fingers.
PEN
I’m sorry, Katie, that you were hurt. I can’t be sorry, though, for using that moment, that gesture, to bring truth to the character. That’s my job. That’s the work I do. It didn’t even occur to me that you would take that as a personal affront.
KATE
It wasn’t that.
PEN
Then why were you so upset?
There is a long pause. The swans are grooming each other and Pen and Kate watch.
KATE
I saw you flirt with Sandy this morning, the morning after we kissed. Then a few minutes later you use something I did in an intimate, private moment with you, and you do it in front of Sandy and the entire cast. It felt – it all felt so precious to me. The kiss, the closeness. And it felt like it meant nothing to you.
PEN
Oh, Katie.
(sits back down on the bench)
I apologize. It meant a great deal to me.
(their eyes meet)
I was still hurt that you turned me down, and I wanted to make you regret it, make you jealous with Sandy.
KATE
I thought after we talked this morning, we were fine?
PEN
I know. And we were. I did tell you I’m not very nice.
Kate studies her, then suddenly laughs and Pen stares, puzzled. Something has changed and Pen isn’t quite sure what it is, but Kate is no longer slumping and sad.
KATE
(eyes bright and smile warm)
Pen, you can be very nice. You’re just confusing as hell!
PEN
You forgive me?
(Kate nods and Pen gets up)
I can’t promise I won’t use things I learn from you – that’s one of the hazards of being friends with actors. I do promise to try to act as a friend, not a selfish cow.
Kate grins up at her and Pen smiles back and walks swiftly up the path to the theatre.
Note: more to be inserted here – needs some editing but I want to include it all in 1<sup>st</sup> draft
INT. KATE’S HALLWAY/LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Kate opens her door to find Pen on the doorstep. Pen is clearly tense and apprehensive. She notices Kate is wearing a blue oxford cloth shirt rather than the white one covered with red wine that she’d worn home from the track.
Pen also notices there is no smile or sign of welcome on Kate’s face.
PEN
May I come in?
KATE
Of course.
Kate steps back and Pen enters the hallway.
PEN
I’ll pay for the white shirt to be cleaned.
KATE
There’s no need, I can take care of it.
PEN
No, I want to.
Kate shrugs and leads her into the living room. She doesn’t offer Pen a seat or fuss over her. Instead, she leans against the mantel, poised in a way that surprises Pen. Pen stands awkwardly at the entrance to the room.
PEN
Katie, I’m sorry you got caught in the middle of that mess today.
KATE
You said before that Sam’s wife understood and was okay with the relationship between you two. Didn’t look like that to me.
PEN
That’s not your concern. I’ll deal with Sam.
KATE
Not my concern? Maybe you’d like to take another look at my white shirt?
PEN
I’ve said I’m sorry about that. I’ve offered to clean it. What more do you want?
Kate straightens up and Pen braces herself.
KATE
Now that you ask, I’ll tell you, Pen. I want you to end your relationship with Sam. I want you to give it a chance with you and me.
Pen is startled by the difference when Kate is unflustered around her. She finds it tremendously appealing but can’t get caught up in that. She needs to go on the attack.
PEN
Katie, your notions about relationship are archaic.
KATE
You told me that before. What about your relationships? You’re a coward. You have Terry, your rock as you call him. Then your lovers. So you never have to risk anything.
PEN
(furious)
If you weren’t so naive, you’d realize Terry is my family, and more important than any lover could be.
KATE
I’m not attacking Terry. But what if he’s not there? Is Sam going to be there for you? I would.
PEN
That isn’t the point.
KATE
What is the point? You said once I was too innocent. You said it as if it were a dirty word.
PEN
That’s not what I meant.
They look like two boxers, sparring for the right opening.
KATE
What did you mean then?
Pen is distracted by the pulse in Kate’s neck. It throbs wildly, which tells her the calm demeanor is a cover. Something snaps in her and she lashes out to hide her pain and shame.
PEN
Think about it, Katie. One minute you’re pushing me away, the next minute you’re making drunken passes at me in my dressing room. You look for excuses to be near me, then you claim your principles won’t allow us to be together.
KATE
That’s not fair.
PEN
Fair? You and your sanctimonious honor – are you really so naive, so blind you don’t see what you’re doing? Or do you like tormenting me, seeing me ache for you and all the while you keep a safe distance?
KATE
(pales)
Pen, I never wanted –
PEN
You never wanted anything! What a hypocrite you are. You watch me in rehearsal with your adoring glances and your tears, and if I respond you push me away because you’re so noble and pure. Bloody hell, Katie, you’re not a child. Maybe it’s time for you to grow up.
Pen closes the gap between them and takes Kate’s face in her hands. She intends to kiss her with all the ferocity of her thwarted passion, but at the first touch her anger dissolves. Her lips hover near Kate’s, her voice low and shaking.
PEN
Inside you, Katie, is a woman you’ve barely begun to explore. Everything in me hungers for that woman in you, longs to help her emerge, see the wonder in her eyes as she discovers herself.
Kate listens, stunned at the outpouring from Pen. She is overwhelmed, unable to pull away, unable to speak.
PEN
(whispers)
You cling to your beliefs as if they have some magical power, never realizing the true magic, the true power, lies in the shiver deep within you at my lightest touch…
Pen’s fingertips caress Kate’s cheek and she lets out a soft gasp.
PEN
…the rhythm of our hearts, beating as one…
Pen takes Kate’s hand in hers and lays it on Pen’s heart, then lays her hand on Kate’s heart.
PEN
(halting)
..the…magic…the shock of recognition…every time our eyes meet. Don’t you..even want to know what…you’re missing?
Pen’s lips brush Kate’s again and again with the most fleeting of kisses, until Kate’s lips seek hers. Pen deepens the kiss slowly. Kate’s free hand clutches Pen’s sleeve.
Pen lifts her mouth to trace a path down Kate’s neck and lingers at the hollow at the base of her throat.
KATE
(somewhere between a moan and a whisper)
Pen…
PEN
(smiles)
Peace, I will stop your mouth.
(kisses Kate)
After a long kiss, Pen lifts her head. Kate’s eyes are closed, and she is radiant. Pen knows if she doesn’t leave then, she won’t be able to leave. And she has to leave. It has to be Kate’s choice.
Pen steps back and Kate’s eyes open. Pen is transfixed by the woman in front of her, alight with passion.
Kate takes Pen’s hand in hers and Pen presses her lips into the palm of Kate’s hand. She walks swiftly to the door and leaves.
INT. AMBULANCE – LATE NIGHT
BEGINNING: Terry and Pen are both in the ambulance, he is hooked up to oxygen and an IV.
MIDDLE: Pen and Terry look at each other as the EMT checks Terry’s vitals, makes notes, checks IV. Pen remembers Terry through the years.
END: Terry dies.
Note: more to be inserted here – needs some editing but I want to include it all in 1<sup>st</sup> draft
INT. TERRY’S KITCHEN – LATE NIGHT
Terry stands looking into the refrigerator, seemingly lost in thought. The back door opens, and he closes the door and turns to see Pen enter.
Pen saw Terry half an hour ago after the show but seeing him at home without makeup she is shocked by how drawn he looks.
PEN
Sebastian and Katie made a brief stop at his office. They’ll be here shortly.
(continues staring at him)
TERRY
Stop examining me brat.
PEN
Are you sure you’re up to an after-theatre supper tonight? It’s already late.
TERRY
(stirs the chowder on stove with a wooden spoon)
Of course I am. That doesn’t mean I won’t make you work. You can put that bread in the oven to warm up.
Pen follows his directions. Ben and Trixie sprawl out of the way and watch them.
PEN
Molly told me Sam’s buyer for the farm is willing to let us stay for now.
TERRY
That’s good news.
PEN
The lawyer told her they’d give us at least three month’s notice, and that we wouldn’t need to go before the end of the season.
Pen starts to set the table while Terry tastes and seasons the chowder.
TERRY
Are you and Sam talking again? When is he coming back?
PEN
He isn’t.
Terry turns but Pen keeps her back to him.
TERRY
Pen?
PEN
I ended it with him the day after the racetrack debacle. His wife wasn’t – well, I simply couldn’t continue, that’s all.
TERRY
Have you told Kate?
Pen gets butter out and puts it on a plate on the table.
PEN
Of course not. If I hadn’t told you, I wouldn’t tell her.
TERRY
Why not?
PEN
I tell you everything, Terry.
TERRY
No, I mean why haven’t you told her?
Pen keeps her back to him while she searches for a butter knife.
PEN
Why should I?
There is no response. The wooden spoon clatters to the floor, Ben and Trixie’s nails scrabble on the tile as they leap to their feet, whining. Pen turns to find Terry half-collapsed against the counter, his face gray and covered in sweat. His right hand clutches his chest, and his breath comes in gasps.
Pen puts her arm around him and helps him stagger to a chair. Once he is seated, she pulls out her phone and calls 911.
INT. AMBULANCE – LATE NIGHT
Terry is lying in the ambulance, hooked up to oxygen an oxygen mask that covers his nose and mouth, and an IV in his arm.
The EMT checks his vitals, makes notes, checks the oxygen and IV and as soon as he finishes he goes through the procedures again.
Pen sits at the side, close, but out of the way of the EMT. She holds Terry’s free hand, which is clammy but grips hers hard, and her eyes never leave his. It’s as if his spirit is undaunted by the controlled chaos that keeps him immobile.
She doesn’t see the man before her in his eyes, she sees the self-possessed young boy in the classroom introducing himself saying, “I’m an actor.” She sees the brave resignation of the boy who returns to the bullying and abuse of his classmates in boarding school. And she sees the speechless suffering of the young man who held the dead body of a beloved sister, who killed herself because she could see no other way.
Terry’s eyes cloud up, his hand grows lax in Pen’s, and the EMT worked over him with increased intensity.
Pen kept her eyes fixed on Terry’s in the hope that her fierce attention will keep him alive. She fails.
-
This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Carol Dougherty. Reason: additional material
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by
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What I learned doing this assignment is making an additional scene in Act 2 that follows my midpoint point scene. I outlined this additional scene and didn’t want any dialogue because I wanted the protagonist to capture the emotion.
INT. BATHROOM – CONTINOUS
Beginning: Tina looks at the bruise forming on her face.
Middle: She takes a good look at herself in the mirror with regret.
End: She dries her tears and puts on makeup to cover the bruising.
INT. TINA’S APARTMENT, BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS
Tina goes to the dark bathroom and turns on the light. She reluctantly looks at her face in the mirror. She sees a bruise under her eye. She cries while taking a good look at herself. She has an expression of regret.
She grabs a tissue and wipes her tears. She opens the nearby cosmetic bag and pulls out makeup. She covers the bruise with the makeup. Her phone CHIRPS. She pulls it out of her pocket and sees a text from BARRY with a picture of a lip emoji kissing. She looks at herself again in the mirror and turns off the bathroom light.
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<div>
M.M. Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned in this assignment is to outline scenes first and plug them in the holes, then work on writing them to upgrade from the 20% level. These new scenes show the POV of the other characters before they interact in certain scenes with Bella.
</div><div>
NEW SCENE:
INT. BELLA’S DORM ROOM – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Luke tells Bella his stepmom Grace consulted with a law firm on a Supreme Court case that was just decided in their favor. She helped with the Second Amendment Constitutional issues. Bella asked what it was about.
MIDDLE: When Luke explains the case and its impact on gun ownership, Bella says she has been thinking about buying a handgun. He asks if anything has happened in the dorm. She assures him it’s still very safe requiring key fob entries to elevators and floors, but she wants to get one for her own protection.
END: Luke offers to help her pick out a gun and then show her how to shoot at his favorite indoor shooting range. Bella is elated. As a postscript she asks how he and Mia are doing. He says he has just been too busy to worry about it but he calls her and she says she understands how busy he is. Bella comments that he has his priorities in order, with the MLB draft coming up in a few months. They agree to go to the gun shop after the next practice.
NEW SCENE:
INT. UPSCALE RESTAURANT – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Emilio walks up, late, dressed in a suit, with a white silk shirt open to his navel. His parents are waiting on him. His father taps his watch. His mother tells him to button his shirt, stop dressing like a playboy, and start acting like the respectable young man she raised.
MIDDLE: All through dinner the only topic is Emilio’s love life. Who are you dating? Why did you stop seeing the other one? Who are your prospects for a wife? Over dessert, his father lays down the law. If Emilio wants to continue living off his trust fund he needs to get married. Pick a girl – one who can have babies – and marry her by this summer after he graduates, if not sooner. His mother tells him he needs an heir to the family fortune.
END: Emilio defiantly says his goal is to get drafted to MLB and he wants to be a pro before he gets married. His father puts him in his place and tells him beggars can’t be choosers. He isn’t the top catcher in the college rankings but he will still get on a team. Emilio can’t get a word in edgewise until the waiter gives his father the check. Emilio grabs it from him, pays it and tells his parents that when he gets drafted, he’ll get married. His father him not to worry – the fix is in. He has paid the right scouts and agents to make sure he’ll be picked. His mother adds she’ll buy a house and have it fully furnished and decorated for him and his bride. All he needs to do is find someone he wants permanently in his bed. She reminds him that the money is from her family and she will cut him off if he gets a divorce. Emilio meekly agrees. He isn’t about to give up all that money even though he doesn’t want to get his wings clipped. He’ll just have to make it work. But with which girl?
NEW SCENE:
INT. DORM KITCHEN – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Mia returns to the dorm and runs into Bella in the kitchen, cooking a delicious Puerto Rican meal. She sits down at the table and of course Bella invites her to join her. Bella asks how she and Luke are doing. Mia waves her off with a quick “Fine,” and continues eating her food.
MIDDLE: Bella tells her the plan of playing hard to get isn’t getting any reaction from Emilio. She asks Mia what else she can do to get his attention. Does she have any other tricks of the trade? Mia just stares at her and tells her to forget him. Emilio is out of her league. She should know because she’s been seeing him since Bella introduced them. She rubs it in by saying she sees a future with him, especially since he’s sure to become a pro MLB player.
END: Bella says then she won’t mind if Bella spends more time with Luke, since she’s tied up with Emilio. Mia jumps up and tells her to stay away from Luke because he’s still her official boyfriend. She adds Emilio is just a friend that Mia is working on to become more. Bella says Luke doesn’t deserve to get hurt and maybe she’ll just bring him up to speed. Mia tosses her plate of food on Bella and threatens her not to tell Luke a word or she’ll be sorry. She adds they are through as friends. Mia storms out. Bella shrugs and says they were never friends, just acquaintances who went to the same school She pulls out her cell and punches in a number. Luke answers.
NEW SCENE:
INT. CONVERTIBLE – MOVING – NIGHT
BEGINNING: On the way home from the shooting range, Emilio gets a call on his cell. It’s Mia.
MIDDLE: Angry from the loss to Luke, he takes it out on Mia, insulting her that he was never interested in her to begin with and just wanted to make Bella jealous.
END: Mia starts crying. Emilio ignores her sobs and tells her not to call him again.
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Angelina Fluehler – Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Revised, still consistent overall, missing volume. I also watch and read a review on one of the actual movie running in the cinemas. I specially paid my attention to the critics, which concerned not optimal build structures, their duration and accents in the movie. During watching the movie I realized that the critic was justified.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Angelina Fluehler.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Angelina Fluehler.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by
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