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Day 2 Assignment
Reply to post your assignment.
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30 Replies
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What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
Logline: Two Tribal cops investigate the murder of a family off of the Reservation. A Super-Natural Thriller.
Big Mystery: A traditional Navajo Indian “skinwalker” kills a family off the reservation.
Big Intrigue: The “skinwalker” can spiritually shape-shift into animals and to kill.
Big Suspense: Two tribal cops are called in to investigate the family murder. Their lives are in danger when they cross the path of the “skinwalker.”
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Hi, why does he shape shift to animals only why not for instance not another human being?
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Angela Gordon.
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Well – According to Navajo traditions. Skinwalkers were once human beings. They killed other humans and have crossed to the side of darkness. They are no longer human, but can shape-shift into animals who have more power than the average human. I will explain it visually in my thriller. – Roscoe Pond
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by
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ASSIGNMENT 2
PASSPORT TO PERIL, a woman-in-jeopardy thriller
Logline: After a newly married woman discovers her husband`s other women, she must outwit him to save her house and her life.
“What I learned doing this assignment is that I have all the conventions but need to put my heroine in danger earlier. And I just did.”
1. What are the conventions of your story?
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Simone, an attractive office manager who longs to travel to Paris. She flies there in the last scene!
Dangerous Villain: Jack, a balding forty-year old executive and, Marcie, his lover, plot to get Simone’s house.
High stakes: Jack marries Simone to get her house.
Life and death situations: Marcie runs down Simone, injuring her. Ben aims his gun at Simone to frighten her. Marcie swings a sailboat boom at Simone, narrowly missing her. Ben and Marcie try to kill Simone in the last act.
This story is thrilling because the audience knows Ben lies to Simone, has a lover, and wants Simone’s house, all unknown to Simone. They also know that Marcie tried to run her down.
2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story
Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? Who is Ben and why did he marry Simone? Is Simone his next victim who will lose her house and possibly her life?
Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface for most of the movie? Ben and Marcie are partners. He marries lonely single women who have expensive houses, gets control of their houses, divorces them, then sells the houses.
Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? After Marcie is injured, Beth (and the audience) worry about Simone. Will she survive?
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Jim P – Big M.I.S.
What I learned: I learned how to verbalize the genre conventions of my movie.
Logline: A young hacker and conspiracy theorist, and the girl next door, seek to discover the truth about a possible conspiracy while being pursued by a powerful unknown villain.
<div>Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Jake is addicted to doing villainous things on the computer. He seeks the truth at all cost. Starting out as retiring and shy, Jake learns to fight for what he believes is right.
</div><div>Dangerous Villain: Dr. Love has the power of governments as well as the underworld behind him. He is all-powerful.
High stakes: Jake’s life unless he surrenders or beats Dr. Love at the cat and mouse game.
Life and death situations: Jake faces numerous situations where his life is inn peril, and later those he cares for.
This story is thrilling because: no one is who they seem to be, making the risk of death ever greater.
</div>Big Mystery: What does Jake know that Dr. Love wants? What is Love hiding?
<div class=””>Big Intrigue: Does Jake give in to Dr. Love or does he defeat him?</div><div>Big Suspense: Will Jake survive? Will Alicia and Uncle Albert survive? At what cost?
</div>
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1. What are the conventions of your story?
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Victoria’s daughter has disappeared. Victoria must come
out secretly of her mild-mannered, every-one’s sweetheart image to use her
charm, cunning, and treachery to manipulate her ex-husband Sheriff, new boyfriend attorney kidnapper, a
serial killer, and the violent gangsters in her community. <div>Dangerous Villain:
Attorney Bob. Narcissist/psychopath and mastermind of the kidnapping ring.Hero/Villain:
Ex-husband Sheriff Mike. Known for shooting suspects, alcoholic, dying of
cancer tries to save his daughter by force: destroying the kidnapping ring
by gaining information as a serial killer of ring members.High stakes:
life of her daughter, her own life, and lives of her communityLife and death situations: Kidnappings are Victoria and Mike’s daughter
disappears as. Victoria betrays psychopath Bob. All main characters but
Victoria are killed by the end.This story is thrilling because? Filled with deception, corruption, manipulation,
betrayal between colleagues, and murder.2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?
Big Mystery:
What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout
the story? Where is Lucy? </div>Big Intrigue:
Kidnappings of border crossing and school children, serial killing of
kidnapping suspects, Who is good and who is evil?B<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ig Suspense:
Will Victoria survive all her betrayal and save her daughter? -
Subject line: Stephen Maynard: Big M.I.S.
What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Doing this will be very helpful as I go forward with the writing.
Logline: A power-hungry student kills his professor to steal genetically engineered worms that transmogrify old hags into gorgeous young beauties – that devour men.
1. What are the conventions of your Horror Thriller story?
Unwitting but
Resourceful Hero: Jack, an X US Navy officer operates his boat in a
coastal California college town.
Dangerous Villain:
Conrad Stroker, a neurotic student attending the local College. He is a childhood friend of Jack. Jack has a blind spot for his friend because Conrad pulled
Jack from a rip current when they were kids growing up in the city of
Newport Bay, CA.
High stakes: Death for anyone who Conrad targets with one of the female slaves he has wormed.
Life and death
situations:
This story is thrilling because? We see what happens to various men and women throughout the movie as they are wormed by the conniving and deceitful Conrad. We fear that
Gina, our hero’s love, will get wormed and be made a slave to serve Conrad’s insatiable appetite for “love”.
2. Tell us the Big
M.I.S. of your story?Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? Why are all these old couples disappearing?
Big Intrigue: What is
the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface
for most of the movie? Conrad is worming old women with a genetically
engineered worm that makes them young and beautiful and causes them to eat
their husbands.
Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continueto escalate throughout the script? We fear that Gina, our hero’s love, will get wormed and be made a slave to serve Conrad’s insatiable appetite for “love”.
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Wayne Schrengohst, Thriller 21, DAY 2
I learned that putting something in and moving on is better than stewing.
Logline: A police department is consumed by corruption.
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Sheila, a new recruit, top of her class, book nerd, and quoted authority on police corruption.
Dangerous Villain: The Police Captain, Benjamin, will clean up his department by any means necessary, mostly murder.
High stakes: Police are being killed.
Life and Death situations: Even routine calls can be lethal.
This story is thrilling because… it becomes a creepy cat and mouse between the supremely powerful Captain and the innocent naive New Recruit as everything falls to shit.
Big Mystery: Who is killing the police officers? Why? How can they be so effective? Where is this leading?
Big Intrigue: The Captain heads every attempt to catch the perpetrator of the murders? He gets increasingly punitive to subordinates as attempts fail.
Big Suspense: Eventually she knows and doesn’t speak. And he knows she knows. And she knows he knows she knows. It gets special.
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Jeff Bryce’s Big M.I.S.
I learned that by focusing on the Big M.I.S., I can up the thrill by altering a few lines in a few scenes. It won’t always be that easy, but it seems to be enough to change my crime drama to a crime thriller.
Logline: To save a baby boy, a young grandfather trips into the darkest depths of the city.
Hero: Anesthesiologist Steve needs $200,000 for his grandson Jacob’s trial-drug cancer treatment.
Villain: Gambler & boat-dealer Jack resorts to smuggling using his customers’ boats.
High stakes: Jacob will die without treatment. Jacob’s mother (Steve’s daughter), whose ex-boyfriend is a thug, continues to struggle with addiction. Jack’s smuggle is botched, killing two henchmen, wrecking a customer’s boat, and the contraband is lost. When Steve lists his heirloom boat with Jack’s company to clear $200,000 for Jacob’s treatment, Steve unwittingly brushes with criminals, and it becomes life or death for him and his family. Cops suspect Steve committed a crime, which could ruin his career.
Life or death: As above, and four more are killed.
This story is thrilling because: We want to see Steve recover the stolen boat proceeds to pay for treatment. We want Jacob to get his treatment and live. We want to see Steve and his family come through unharmed. We want to see Jack and secondary characters pay for their crimes.
Big Mystery: Jacob’s treatment. Will he get it? Will it be 100% successful?
Big Intrigue: Jack knows he stole money that was needed to save a baby’s life. And bankruptcy and wrecking lives and property means nothing to him.
Big Suspense: Steve is pulled into a world of scum, crime, and cops. Will Steve and his family make it through?
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You are sure right; it won’t always be that easy. I’m not back-adapting my novel to a thriller because my hero is NOT unwitting. Neither are anesthesiologists, in the context of your story. If you’re in doubt, see https://www.pfizerclinicaltrials.com/about/frequently-asked-questions. I think you’d get better results if you switch to a from-the-ground-up concept for the course. Just my opinion. Press on, in any case.
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Thanks for your comments, Jeff. I appreciate your opinions.
In my experience– and I have many professors from various faculties as clients– people tend to be experts in a few areas and naive about other things. In fact, it’s why I chose to focus on professors as my niche financial planning market.
Back to your sensitivity to my hero’s profession. It works here in Canada, which is another “world” of rules. I’ve researched it all and gone through the grinders of feasibility.
I’m finding that adapting this script to this course is exactly what I’m looking for. The original script was a dark-comedy neo-noir crime-drama. Now I hope to press on and see it as a Crime Thriller, with dark comedy and catharsis.
Best wishes for your ground-up concept.
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Yes, my eye surgeon acquaintance, for instance, didn’t know that BBs are steel and can
be plucked from an eye in a second with a magnet. Heck, I could have
lent him my dad’s old magnet. My mom was an anesthetist, the one the surgeons always chose if they had to go “under the knife.” Most of my knowledge of profs was gained as
Department Secretary for USC Astronomy. (I had lunch last week with one
of their offspring.)Onward!!
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Kimberly’s Big M.I.S.
What I learned: To redefine my story elements through the thriller lens. Also learned my story is currently thin on life and death situations.
Logline: When a Navy SEAL who lives alone on a sailboat is taken hostage by a couple she rescues at sea, she must fight back to survive.
1. Conventions:
· Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Lacia, a Navy Seal coping with severe PTSD by living alone on a sailboat rescues a couple adrift in the Pacific only to be terrorized as their hostage.
· Dangerous Villain: Rian, a seemingly happy-go-lucky bartender and musician with a secret history of committing multiple murders, will ruthlessly destroy anyone who gets in the way of his escape.
· High stakes: Even if Lacia can free herself, she is trapped at sea with her tormentors, Rian and Emma.
· Life and death situations: Lacia battles teenage hoodlums at the harbor. Lightening storm at sea. Couple steal her sailboat and leave her adrift. Couple take her prisoner. No supplies. Sharks. Rian betrays Emma. Rian and Lacia fight during a violent storm.
· This story is thrilling because? Every woman has felt vulnerable and Lacia has done everything to protect herself but still she becomes a victim of violence.
2. The Big M.I.S.:
· Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? – What happens when an anthropophobic person is trapped at sea with people willing to kill her?
· Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface for most of the movie? – Rian cannot return to the mainland where he is a fugitive suspected of murdering 3 people.
· Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? – Although she is trapped on a small sailboat with them, her moral code won’t allow her to kill this enemy outright. Plus she is injured and needs them to sail the boat if she is to ever reach land. Nobody trusts anyone but they need each other to survive.
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James’ big MIS
I learned to be specific but not married to what I am getting now as I am sure that what I learns will change things up a bit to make for a better project.
MOM, ONLY GOT ONE (tentative title): Crime-Thriller
Logline: When a Trans Male returns home after college to find out who killed his Mother, he must use his College major in Crime Forensics, which initially leads to a well-liked Billionaire buying up farms in the area but turns out to be more sinister- the betrayal by the people he grew up with as a female.
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: TANG: Trans male, 22, Forensics Major, dream to join FBI, Opinonated and unafraid of who “they” are.
Dangerous Villain: Tang’s former BFF growing up who represents the other Sons and Daughters of the Townsfolk she grew up with who want to keep the Billionaire on course to buy their land even if they have to murder to get it done.
High stakes:
Mom’s dead; the Mayor dead; Tang is threatened; a Villain who seems has money to make anything happen; a BFF who turns out to be the Villain after all.
Life and death situations:
Tang’s old unrequited love is now rekindled but she is killed with a bullet meant for him. Tang sneaks around a lot, and threatens people who could retaliate but Tang is relentless.
This movie is thrilling because?
Tang won’t stop trying to solve the murder of her mother – all the while trying to find acceptance with people she has known the longest in her life before college; Tang realizes that in addition to not being accepted as Trans is dangerous – finding out the secrets of the townsfolk she used to know is even more dangerous;
Tang exposes the recent selling off of many farms to an unknown group of shell companies, which implicates the Billionaire but then uncovers it may be his own BFF.
BIG MYSTERY: Who killed Tang’s Mother and why?
BIG INTRIGUE: Why the hell has the town tuned against Tang just for trying to find justice for his Mom, who had been one of them for generations! Later: Who is buying all the land and why are the locals not talking about it?
BIG SUSPENSE: Will Tang be killed for being a Trans Male or for uncovering the towns secrets about their farms? Is the Billionaire behind it all?
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Jeff Guenther’s Big M.I.S.
What I learned: Mystery is the peculiar string of events that we and often the MC see. Intrigue is what the Villain sees–what he has planned and is executing–and we only gradually see. Suspense is the ever-present danger to the MC, seen by us, but not always seen by the MC.
Logline: A young postulant in an order of hospital nuns observes strange things happening that no one else notices.
1. What are the conventions of your story?
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: a young helper in a religious order’s hospital
Dangerous Villain: a degenerate worshiper of dark gods, with connections
High stakes: ownership of the hospital, custody of a child, patient deaths, torture, loss of faith, and evil
Life and death situations: Villain will murder as necessary to get his foul desires, which include sacrificial deaths
This story is thrilling because? (a) Mystery: strange activities taking place all the time. (b) Intrigue: unrelenting activity by the villain, (c) Suspense: escalating danger from many covert enemies, (d) Ambience: the spooky old hospital, a place of obvious dangers where mysterious things can happen and intrigue is easily concealed.
2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?
Big Mystery: What is causing the unearthly phenomena at St. Rochus Hospital? This eventually morphs into Who and Why.
Big Intrigue: Villain seeks (1) to get custody of a particular young patient and (2) to bankrupt the hospital and take it over as a source of victims and organs for sale.
Big Suspense: Will the MC be coerced to sin or be sacrificed?.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Jeff Guenther. Reason: Didn't show as posted. Thought this might kick the chassis
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Again, Jeff, thanks for responding on my post.
(By the way, you should post your Intro…)
Postulant… I’ve studied Greek & Latin roots of English, but this one confused me. Looked it up and it’s obscure. I guess you’e going for the similarly obscure “Revenant”, which grossed half a billion dollars!
Looking forward seeing how your supernatural develops into a Thriller.
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Intro? I did get into my profile and add photos. Is there more? Thanks for the tip.
Re postulant: It’s jargon, a common term among religious. See, if you were a nun, you’d know that. But I could live with a share of a half billion dollars . . . or even loonies!
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This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by
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Follow The Queen – A modern-noir thriller adapted from a hit Off-Broadway play
What I learned doing this assignment: How hard the Logline is to write for this (any thriller?) because I do not want to give away what the secret is – but without it, seems bland. It is difficult because it is an ensemble piece (a team of four women) and that makes it more complex to breakdown than just hero/villain.
Logline: A swaggering team of lady cons meet at a cabin in the woods to field delivery of the latest score. When the loot never arrives, bets and accusations start to fly and killing time turns into killing each other… watch your back, sister.
CONVENTIONS:
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Sam, The Queen of Clubs. The den mother and foundation of the group — until tonight.
Dangerous Villain: Man on the phone (who turns out to be Johnny — Tommi’s husband and secret lover of all the Queens)
High stakes: Sam must kill one of her “sisters” tonight in the cabin before midnight.
Life and death situations: Each Queen arrives at the cabin with a loaded gun. “Kill Bill” style fight when shit hits the fan.
This story is thrilling because:
Intimate female friendships are dangerous. Especially for four childhood friends turned con-team. They are emotionally, physically and mentally connected and must have trust — which they currently have none. We are constantly trying to figure out who knows what or who has done what to who – and what Sam is really up to. The big reveal at the end is that Sam knows Johnny has been watching them all night and she is out-conning him.
Big Mystery: Who is the Man on the phone and how did Tommi betray Sam?
Big Intrigue: (very hidden until third act) Sam is out-conning the Man on the phone (and the audience)
Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script?
What we SEE: Will Sam be able to kill Tommi – 1. emotionally (it is her sister she has loved all her life) 2. physically (Tommi is a master with guns and knives) Will she be able to bring her other two teammates around to her side? Or will they retaliate?
UNDERNEATH: Will Sam be able to get the women to confess to betraying their sister Tommi by sleeping with her husband Johnny and thereby set her plan into motion — make it look like she kills them all in a jealous rage, then offs herself so that Johnny will think they are dead and send his spy drones away. then the queens can regroup and get their money (and trust and sisterhood) back.
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“…It is difficult because it is an ensemble piece (a team of four women)
and that makes it more complex to break down than just hero/villain.”Bingo! That adds a layer of complexity that make your adaptation much more difficult. I rejected using an ensemble piece for this class for that very reason. (Not to mention the problematic nature of adaptations of copyrighted material, which I’m sure you’re aware of.)
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Larry’s BIG M.I.S.
What I learned doing this assignment is how to distinguish between big mystery, big intrigue and big suspense. This allowed me to develop an overarching mystery plot line, the development of an intriguing villain that will propel the action and how to create suspenseful elements.
Logline:
Striving to prevent a similar slaying, a tenacious detective’s life is endangered when his investigation of a murdered, sexually abused child unwittingly leads him to a ruthless pedophile ring. (29 words)
1. What are the conventions of your story?
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: tenacious detective
Dangerous Villain: a ruthless ring of pedophiles comprised of top city officials
High stakes: the ring does not want identities revealed and it will do anything to prevent revelation; it also wants more child victims
Life and death situations: the detective wants to prevent further child deaths and, in turn, unwittingly, puts his own life on the line
This story is thrilling because? on one level the detective is out to solve a murder, perhaps committed by a serial killer, while the ring is determined to stop him in order to preclude its unmasking.
2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?
Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story?
– a child is found sodomized and killed and the perpetrator could kill again; the question is: who did it and why
Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface for most of the movie?
– the sexual assault is to satisfy a ring of pedophiles which will do anything to remain secretive
Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script?
– initially roadblocks are put in the detective’s way, but as he gets closer to the truth his life is in danger.
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Our BIG MIS for the Whistleblower
Day 2 Assignment for The Whistleblower (working title) Angela and Kez’s BIG M.I.S.
What I learned in this assignment is clarity of how important all of these steps are to creating the story and how I can’t even imagine the story as we originally envisioned without creating these foundational building blocks. It really took time to think through all the possibilities and it started the real wheels turning in terms of really building a story that is off the radar with excitement, and most importantly a story that matters.
LOGLINE
When Professor Ajok Deng, a prominent and well respected lecturer of a suddenly defunct international fellowship program for journalists disappears, a favorite fellow , Shiku Atieno, finds herself entangled in a web of danger and deceit and risks her life to break an investigative news story that implicates leaders in the highest echelons of business and government and that threatens to destroy those organizations, the global economy and the human existence as we know it.
CONVENTIONS OF THE STORY
The UNWITTING AND RESOURCEFUL HERO of our story is Shiku Atieno, a gifted 30- something Kenyan journalist who finds herself at a dead end and out in the cold after the prestigious 1- year journalism fellowship that she, and 11 other international journalists were selected for, is suddenly terminated. She, and the other fellows, are threatened with serious consequences if they ever breathe a word of the existence of the program again. Several years later she unwillingly finds herself in danger as she is on the brink of exposing a story on climate change which coincidentally links back to the fellowship program which she was a participant in.
THE DANGEROUS VILLAIN is her best friend Serena Gordon, the American 30-something daughter of the Chairman of the Board of the Bank of the World Fellowship Initiative, and also a participant in the program.
The HIGH STAKES are the risk of her being exposed and killed or worse, or that she disappears and is never seen or heard from again. The stakes also include the possibility of the economy plunging into an irreversible recession causing extreme poverty for most citizens of the world, and also an extreme global warming event which could cause massive flooding and death to humanity and a pillaging of the precious mineral and oil resources that lie frozen in the Arctic circle.
LIFE AND DEATH SITUATIONS include her risking and evading multiple assasination attempts, a kidnapping and a harrowing near death escape through an inactive pipeline which is actually part of an underground bunker which will provide shelter for the conglomerate, if the plot is successful. There is a car chase involving she and a man who she became involved with and abruptly broke up with during the program, who discovers the plot to kill her and the other fellows, and tries to save her. The ultimate betrayal is that of the best friend, whom she confides in , and which reveals the ultimate life and death situation that which has exposed her all along. This is the betrayal which puts her over the edge and puts her into a kill or be killed situation.
THIS STORY IS THRILLING BECAUSE it moves at a breakneck pace and explores some of the worst possibilities of some of the climate change nightmares that could unfold from any of the situations that we see manifesting in real life and on the news. It carries the viewer across multiple countries and continents and activates a chain of action and reactions that follow our journalist as she races against time to uncover the plot of dangerous and devious people and elements that she does not see , until its almost too late. This race to the final climax and twist will knock the viewer’s socks off and only the sharpest eyes may see it coming.
THE BIG M.I.S.
The main mystery of this story is who is behind the plot to accelerate global warming, pillage precious minerals and gas resources and plunge the world into extreme poverty and destruction?
The covert and underhanded clandestine organization is the Bank of the World and the Board of Directors of the Fellowship program that is really a front for the money laundering scheme to create massive wealth and dominance for a chosen few. They will stop at nothing to destroy the main character, the fellows and anyone or any organization that has knowledge of their plot.
The main suspense that prevails for the hero is whether or not she will be killed or will she expose the scandal and save the world before it’s too late.
The main dangers to the hero are 1- the fulfillment of the threat by the shadow perpetrators to carry out the consequences to those that betray the threat 2- the discovery that she has information that she shouldn’t and that she could share those secrets if she is not stopped and 3-there are unknown people coming out of the shadows, some to save her and some to destroy her, and ultimately she doesn’t know who she can trust.
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Assignment 2
Melanie’s Big M.I.S.
What I learned: Even from the start the plot is beginning to twist and turn. So glad to have the guidance for each step – thank you!
Logline:
A 911 operator is the only witness to a murder on an incoming call, and as she starts to piece together the audio clues that point towards the killer, the killer has already figured out she knows.
1.
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Vivienne is a 911 operator and single mom who lives alone with her teen daughter after a bitter divorce. Although she is by nature strong, she suffers from PTSD after a previous disturbing call and now she must struggle to keep it together after this murder threatens to psychologically do her in.
Dangerous Villain: Police Chief Kurt Rogers
High stakes: She’s the only one that heard the murder on the call and witnessed a clue that could reveal the killer. However, her daughter was at the scene – her best friend was killed – and picks up the phone. Now she could be implicated in the murder.
Life and death situations: 911 calls, her daughter’s best friend’s murder, her daughter is suspected of being the killer, angry encounters with her ex-husband, and the killer confronts her at the end.
This story is thrilling because Vivienne, while psychologically fragile and alone, pieces together the clues that she heard on the call to solve the murder – while the killer tracks her down.
2.
Big Mystery: Who killed Vivienne’s daughter’s best friend and why?
Big Intrigue: While Vivienne’s mind is trying to piece together the events of the murder, the killer must stop her from exposing him with the power he wields.
Big Suspense: Will Vivienne be the next victim? Will she figure out who did it in time to save herself and her daughter?
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What I learned is allowing myself to not know the answer allowed space for possible answers to come.
Logline: An American senator is running for president on the campaign promise to shut down all AI humans, but only after he is sworn in does he realize his wife (an AI he was hiding) has murdered him and put his brain in the body of a robot.
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Max, running for president, voice of the people but cannot face the loss of his wife, empathetic with amazing (uber-human) ability to survive
Dangerous Villain: the genius doctor who wants AI in the white house to lead the AI revolution and end to human control, believes humans are less beautiful than his creations and he as the creator should have ultimate control.
High stakes: Max’s life, his wife’s life, the life of the doctor, and the future of human freedom.
Life and death situations: opening shooting, planned assassination of his wife which she finds out about, his “death” when he tries to defend her, the doctor trying to take over his brain, coming after him, ultimate battle with the doctor, innocent people being targeted and pitted against each other to prove they are inferior and get them out of the way.
This story is thrilling because? The hero believes he is the last hope, unknowing that he is actually what he is fighting against, and this might make him the strongest person to save humanity, or be the nail in the coffin.
2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?
Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? How advanced is AI now? Can they live and reproduce without humans?
Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface for most of the movie? The Doctor wants to get an AI into the white house to lead his own AI revolution.
Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? Will Max be killed, will an AI become president? Will his wife be turned off? Will all humans be controlled by AI and ultimately deemed unnecessary?
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What I learned doing this assignment is that everything in my story sounds like clichés and maybe the whole story is too complicated. I also question if this plot works concerning who we root for.
Logline:
A psychiatry researcher and a detective suspect each other of being “the element killer”, with both claiming to be subject to a setup, while trying to save their marriages in this university town of the desert where all the research money and psychopaths of power gather.
Unwitting but resourceful hero:
BOROWIAK. The psychiatry researcher and ex NYPD psychologist. The meticulous Borowiak’s big mistake is that he has in shock misplaced his own brain scan, showing the brain of a psychopath, so that the internal police in NY think that the scan belongs to detective ROSTAGNO who they therefore fire. Rostagno later finds out about the scan and wrongfully thinks that he has the brain of a psychopath. At PP2 Borowiak realizes that he has mixed his scan with Rostagnos scan, believing this is the key to why Rostagno pursues him and sets him up, since Rostagno has lost his career and wife because of that.
Dangerous Villain:
Americas worst serial killer in the last 20 years with the NICKNAME no one wants to say. Caught 15 years ago in New York by detective Rostagno with the help of Borowiak’s profiling. Escaped prison during his mother’s funeral 10 years ago. Plastic surgery in Mexico. He now wants revenge setting up both Borowiak and Rostagno against each other so that he can’t get caught this time. They don’t recognize his new face and he pretends he is dumb working in the university library, where also Borowiak’s wife now works.
High stakes:
Borowiak and Rostagno risk being killed by each other, or killed by the serial killer. They both risk losing the woman they love, and the women they love risk being killed too.
Life and death situations:
When Borowiak lurks Rostagno in a pit he can’t get out of when Rostagno pursues Borowiak.
When Rostagno raid a suspect’s house.
When Borowiak is chased by the police inside the NYPD internal affairs office.
When Borowiak wants to buy a gun from the Bronx mafia.
When Borowiak kidnaps the city police chief who is Rostagno’s ex-wife and love interest.
When Borowiak accidentally kills his wife while mistakenly shooting at Rostagno.
When Borowiak and Rostagno realize at the final showdown in the university library that they are both up against the serial killer they once caught.
This story is thrilling because we don’t know who the killer is until the end. Borowiak? Rostagno? Or someone else? We don’t know why these victims are killed in the way they are killed with each “suicide” connected with fire, air, water and earth. We don’t know why Borowiak and Rostagno has such a tensed relationship when they happen to meet in the university library in the first scene. Why did Rostagno try to avoid meeting Borowiak when Rostagno saw him in the library? They and we wonder why they have both moved to the same desert town, or rather why both Rostagno’s ex-wife and Borowiak’s wife have moved there? We are afraid the real killer will kill Borowiak or Rostagno or their wives (wife/ex-wife).
Mystery:
Who is the “element killer” and why are the victims killed?
Intrigue:
A convicted serial killer takes revenge by setting up Borowiak and Rostagno against each other after mapping and manipulating their lives, including their wives’ lives.
Suspense:
Will Borowiak be killed by Rostagno? Will Borowiak kill Rostagno? Will Borowiak and/or Rostagno be killed by the real murderer? Will their wives be killed?
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Leona Heraty’s Big M.I.S.
What I learned doing this assignment is…by answering the M.I.S. questions, it’s easy to fill in the blanks to figure out the main concept of my thriller. The process works if I keep it simple, short and sweet!
TERROR ON THE TOTEM TRAIL
LOGLINE: While hiking on a remote trail, a woman encounters another woman who is being chased by a masked figure with a knife, and the two must outwit the fiend to stay alive.1. What are the conventions of your story?
Unwitting
but Resourceful Hero: The hero afraid
of heights, lacks a sense of direction and is too trusting, but she never
gives up and constantly strives to outwit the masked figure. In the end,
the hero must outwit the other woman to save her own life.
Dangerous
Villain: The masked fiend is frightening
and stalks and threatens the hero and the other woman. In the third act,
the other woman, tries to kill the hero and the masked fiend.
High
stakes: The hero and the other woman
are being threatened by a masked figure with a knife.
Life
and death situations: The hero and
the other woman are under constant threat of being killed by the masked
figure who chases them with a knife. In the end, the other woman tries to
kill the hero and the masked figure.
This
story is thrilling because? The
action is non-stop and the hero is constantly being threatened by the
masked figure. She must outwit the evildoer, and then later, she must
outwit the other woman to stay alive.2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?
Big
Mystery: Who is the masked figure and
why is he chasing the hero and the other woman?
Big Intrigue: The other woman hired her neighbor to wear a cloak and
mask and chase her and the hero around on the trails, to teach the hero a
lesson for “stealing” her prospective new boyfriend at a Halloween party.
Big
Suspense: Will the hero and the
other woman outwit the masked figure and save their own lives? Will the hero
outwit the other woman before the other woman kills her and the other woman’s
neighbor? -
Virginia Tyson’s Big M.I.S.
What I learned from doing this lesson: Narrowing down the Big M.I.S of your film points you in the general direction the film should follow while providing opportunities to make your story compelling and unique.
Logline: After the untimely death of an old friend, a woman inherits scruffy, undeveloped land near the remote town she once lived in. When she rebuffs a purchase offer, she is harassed and repeatedly threatened and almost killed.
1.The conventions of the story
Unwitting
but Resourceful Hero: Maya Scott, a former resident who moved away to
pursue a writing career in the big city.
Dangerous
Villain: A charming real estate agent, Victor, tries to romance her into
selling to the small regional company he represents.
High
stakes: Possible loss of the land. Mysterious deaths. Repeated threats
against Maya.
Life
and death situations: The friend’s death seemed suspicious. The discovery
of the corpse of a missing geologist. Repeated near-fatal “accidents”
occur and finally blatant murder attempts.
This
story is thrilling because we want to discover what really is going on. Is
it really simple greed or could it affect more people than just Maya and
the townspeople?2. The Big M.I.S.
Big
Mystery: Why would anyone want this land bad enough to kill for it?
Big
Intrigue: Who is actually behind the intimidation tactics aimed at getting
the land from Maya?Big Suspense: We learn that
Maya’s friend’s death was not accidental. Maya is repeatedly threatened and
almost killed. Can she stay safe and not give up the land? -
I learned that the Thriller is a most challenging genre to skillfully engage the audience, using the MIS device to write a good screenplay.
Log-line:
“The Art of Dying” Soho artists and are found dead in front of their paintings depicting the death.
Hero: Val Vango the NYPD detective assigned to the case due to his knowledge of art. Mr. Vango is also the estranged son and former student of William Goldsmith.
William Goldsmith an established New York art dealer and professor of Contemporary Art in NYU. All of the murder victims were students of Mr. Goldsmith and clients of his gallery.
Villian The murder of artist and musicians.:
Life & Death situations: The murder of prominent artists and musicians in the city and the destruction of priceless works of art.. . Some celebrated performers boycott the city.
The story is thrilling because of the by the continued death in the artistic community of New York City. These mysterious death expand to include prominent musicians as in addition to artists… Who is next and who is responsible.
Tension between Val Vango and his father increases when Mr. Goldstein becomes a suspect .to the murders. The value of the painting in his gallery increase when his clients die.
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What I learned is that by creating the big MIS I will have a clearer picture of who, what, when and where that is working and what’s not.
#2
Unwitting hero- Water tester, Barry Black
Dangerous Villan: City Manager, Stephen Law
High stakes: People could die in city without good water
Life and death: Water is toxic
Thrilling because: What’s causing the water to be toxic?
Big Mystery: The trusted city Manager is taking money from the city chemical department
Big Intrigue: Supplies are scarce and orders don’t show up like much needed chemicals for filtration.
Big Suspense: Water tester Barry Black is getting death threats from sick patients with all kinds of ailments. Thinking it’s his fault.
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Logline: A woman from outside her dead fiance’s tribe, whose relationship with him was hidden from his family and colleagues, tries to find out what really happened to him during an overseas trip.
What I learned by doing this assignment is how critical it is to be clear about what the motivations and stakes are for each major character and to let them inform the dramatic structure of the story.
Conventions of my story:
1. Unwitting/resourceful hero: Connie Alinari, who believes someone at her dead fiance’s commodities trading company, knows something about the mysterious circumstances of his death overseas and goes undercover at the company to learn what happened.
2. Dangerous villain: Uri Feldman, Connie’s fiance, who has faked his death and changed his identity after killing a business rival who was onto his company’s fraudulent business scheme, and had no intention of marrying outside his tribe and upsetting family tradition.
3. High stakes: For the villains, the future of the commodities firm and the ability of its officers to elude detection of their scheme by government authorities. For the hero, her safety and possibly her life.
4. Life & death situations: Threats against Connie as she learns more details about the company’s questionable business dealings and Uri’s “death.”
5. This story is thrilling because of multiple mysteries that compel Connie to dig deeper into Uri’s death, which may involve hidden business dealings of his company, and forces hr to confront apparent contradictions in his character that she finds troubling and confusing.
M.I.S.
Big Mystery: What really happened to Uri on his hiking excursion and what does it have to do with shady business dealings at the company he worked for?
Big Intrigue: Uri, having killed a business rival who was blackmailing him in exchange for not publicly disclosing a fraudulent business scheme, has faked his own death and changed his identity, working inside an unknown subsidiary of the commodities firm where he worked, where he continues to manage illegal business dealings.
Big Suspense: Connie draws unwanted attention from company officers and an escalating series of threats to convince her to stop trying to find out what happened to Uri and the truth behind his company’s nefarious business dealings.
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Jeff Guenther’s Big M.I.S.
What I learned: Mystery is the peculiar string of events that we and often the MC see. Intrigue is what the Villain sees–what he has planned and is executing–and we only gradually see. Suspense is the ever-present danger to the MC, seen by us, but not always seen by the MC.
Logline: A young postulant in an order of hospital nuns observes strange things happening that no one else notices.
1. What are the conventions of your story?
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: a young helper in a religious order’s hospital
Dangerous Villain: a degenerate worshiper of dark gods, with connections
High stakes: ownership of the hospital, custody of a child, patient deaths, torture, loss of faith, and evil
Life and death situations: Villain will murder as necessary to get his foul desires, which include sacrificial deaths
This story is thrilling because? (a) Mystery: strange activities taking place all the time. (b) Intrigue: unrelenting activity by the villain, (c) Suspense: escalating danger from many covert enemies, (d) Ambience: the spooky old hospital, a place of obvious dangers where mysterious things can happen and intrigue is easily concealed.
2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?
Big Mystery: What is causing the unearthly phenomena at St. Rochus Hospital? This eventually morphs into Who and Why.
Big Intrigue: Villain seeks (1) to get custody of a particular young patient and (2) to bankrupt the hospital and take it over as a source of victims and organs for sale.
Big Suspense: Will the MC be coerced to sin or be sacrificed?.
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