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Day 2 Assignment
Posted by cheryl croasmun on October 20, 2021 at 5:05 amReply to post your assignment
Rob Sutherland replied 3 years, 3 months ago 9 Members · 8 Replies -
8 Replies
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I LOVE the high speed writing rules and its for me the only way to write and get to the end. I have, like probably many writers, self doubt and a negative voice, and I find sitting and writing as quickly as possible, just blocks that out. It’s almost a panic when I write at times because I know I can’t afford to hear that negative voice. High speed writing is the BEST!! I also know that the real story comes from editing and re-drafting, so even if I write something I know is not great, I know that I will fix it later.
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Jean’s Finished Act 1 First Draft
I’ve completed Act 1. I had a couple of scenes that stumped me. So, I just moved on. When I got to the end of the act, I went back and worked on those scenes. By this time, my creativity had loosened, and I was able to tackle them with fresh eyes and a better understanding of the whole act. I love the idea of skipping to keep moving. It really worked for me. I will definitely use this technique writing the other acts.
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Mod 4, Lesson 2 – Act One
I learned that writing fast gets the job done, especially if perfection doesn’t get involved. Now that I’m in Act One I’m paying attention to the “open Loop.” I’ll need to do some work on it when I go back to rewrite.
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Janeen Finished Act 1 First Draft
What I learned doing this assignment is that I should have polished/refined my outline more. In a couple of cases, I had 2 scenes mushed into one in the outline.
I used the high speed writing rules to stop myself from overthinking characterization — although I realized I needed my character’s top traits and subtext at hand to give my characters any individuality. I hadn’t thought of them that way yet — only their circumstances, goals, etc. that we did in the first 2 modules. I made a quick cheat sheet to keep handy as I continue to write.
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Jack’s Act 1 of Conceived
ACT 1
EXT. WINDSOR POLO CLUB – DAY
SUPRA: VERO BEACH, FLORIDA: SEVEN YEARS EARLIER
EXT. LIMO – DAY
A black limo turns off a well-landscaped highway into an oak-tree-lined entrance with a sign that reads Windsor. A display of pumpkins surrounds the sign.
Nearby, on the side of a perfectly-manicured polo field, an empty set of stands sits ready to receive fans.
The limo stops in front of the stands. The driver, CHARLES BLACKWOOD, 30’s, filling out his suit like a heavyweight wrestler, slips out, opens the passenger door.
SANTIAGO GONZALEZ, 40’s, champion of polo and women, smiles broadly as he stands waiting for the occupant.
Victoria, dressed for polo, steps out. Santiago takes her hand, kisses it.
SANTIAGO
Victoria.
VICTORIA
Hello, Santiago.
He leads her to a golf cart and they climb in.
INT. GOLF CART – DAY
Santiago drives off with Victoria.
SANTIAGO
I brought Number Eleven for you.
VICTORIA
Does it matter? You keep saying they’re all exactly the same.
SANTIAGO
They are, but you did so well with him in Buenos Aires.
They arrive at the stables.
INT. STABLES – DAY
Victoria examines horses, exact copies of each other.
VICTORIA
I can’t tell. Which is Eleven?
Santiago opens a stall and PORSHE, 30’s, a beautiful Argentinian, leads a horse out.
Porshe hands the reins to Victoria as Santiago puts out his hands for her to step into. She steps into his hands and is hoisted up onto the saddle, trots off like a rider on an Olympics show horse.
INT. KAYLA’S OFFICE – DAY
In a small office with two desks and bookshelves, Kayla stands while finishing work on her computer.
JEREMY STROM, 20’s, her secretary, watches.
JEREMY
It’s only 90 seconds away.
KAYLA
You finish the schedule.
EXT. KAYLA’S OFFICE – DAY
Kayla rushes out onto a porch with a stunning view of the ocean, then down stairs to reveal that her office is above the garage to a fabulous ocean-front estate.
INT. KAYLA’S OFFICE – DAY
From the window, Jeremy watches Kayla leave, then turns on a video game.
EXT. POLO FIELD – DAY
Kayla parks and walks toward the stands.
She climbs up the stairs, nods to a few people, finds a seat on the top row.
The teams line up in front of the stands.
ANNOUNCER
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Windsor. We are pleased to have two of the best teams in the world compete today! First we would like to introduce the Argentinian El Turon team, captained by Santiago Gonzalez, wearing green. And, in opposition, we are pleased to present the Vero Beach Ocean Grill team in blue, captained by Englishman Sir George Townsend, famous for the training program which has produced two European championships!
The teams receive applause, then turn and trot to their positions for the start of the match.
MONTAGE – THE MATCH
Play begins with a spirited charge by Santiago and a shot that scores. The score reads El Turon 1 Vero Beach 0.
Victoria RIDES HARD along the side of the field near the stands. Kayla admires her talents, which result in Victoria stealing the ball from George, after which she looks back and smiles at him, rubbing it in, then scores a goal.
The score reads El Turon 4 Vero Beach 3.
The two teams exchange goals.
The score reads El Turon 7 Vero Beach 7.
The match concludes with Victoria scoring and the El Turon team winning. The score reads El Turon 9 Vero Beach 8.
The El Turon team celebrates the win.
EXT. STAGE – DAY
On a small stage with a backdrop that includes the Windsor name and large pumpkins on the corners, the winning team accepts applause as the trophy is presented to Santiago.
In the stands, Kayla watches Victoria pose for photos with her teammates.
From the side of the stage, Sir George watches the same, with an emphasis of admiration for Victoria.
As they disband, Kayla sees Santiago take Victoria aside and attempt to kiss her. Victoria leans back, smiles but retreats with a hand on Santiago’s chest.
Sir George also notices.
Limo driver Charles steps in between them. Victoria plays it as nothing, but leaves with Charles, who stares back at Santiago.
EXT. OCEAN GRILL – NIGHT
Kayla rolls her Ford Taurus into the parking lot of a classic wooden oceanfront restaurant extending out over the beach on pilings. A sign reads Ocean Grill.
INT. OCEAN GRILL BAR – NIGHT
At a bar decorated with pumpkins, Victoria finds a stool and sits, turns to gaze out over the ocean.
On the other side of the room, Charles stands watching.
Kayla walks in, sees friends at the bar and begins a conversation. A bartender greets her with a white wine.
Victoria, who still has not been waited on, notices Kayla, who turns and catches her looking.
Kayla walks around the bar and approaches.
KAYLA
Hi, I saw you at the polo match. You’re really good.
VICTORIA
(pleased)
It was quite a good match.
The bartender lays a napkin down in front of Victoria, who tilts her head back and fluffs her hair.
VICTORIA (CONT’D)
What are you having?
KAYLA
They have their own label on several wines. I like the Chardonnay.
VICTORIA
(to the bartender)
The Ocean Grill Chardonnay.
Kayla gives Victoria a big smile.
KAYLA
I’m Kayla Hitch.
VICTORIA
Victoria Cromwell.
KAYLA
I love your jewelry.
Outta this world beautiful.
Victoria touches her gold polo-pony necklace.
VICTORIA
Thank you.
KAYLA
Where are all the men I saw trying to drape themselves over you after the match?
VICTORIA
I prefer American men.
KAYLA
How about American women?
VICTORIA
Are you suggesting I don’t know what I’m missing?
KAYLA
That’s exactly what I’m suggesting.
(pause)
I’m guessing your accent is British?
VICTORIA
Quite. And I’m guessing you are very American.
KAYLA
Raised just on the other side of the tracks from Windsor. Might as well have been on the other side of the moon, but now I live on the beach across from the polo field.
VICTORIA
How lovely! So, you are of mixed race? What is the proper term?
KAYLA
Been called everything from mixed to multi to mulatto, but I’ll go with what President Obama called himself: mutt.
VICTORIA
Well, I think you’re beautiful, and quite engaging.
KAYLA
You here alone? Would you like to have dinner with me?
Victoria considers the offer.
VICTORIA
And very forward! Supper sounds lovely, but I was told it is impossible this time of year
unless you wait two hours.
The bartender places Victoria’s drink in front of her.
KAYLA
(to the bartender)
Sean, tell Joey we’re staying for dinner.
INT. OCEAN GRILL DINING ROOM – NIGHT
In a large room extravagantly decorated for Halloween, an empty premier table overlooks the ocean.
A hostess places two wines down, then seats Victoria, who is a few inches shorter than Kayla. Kayla pulls out her own chair and sits.
KAYLA
(to the hostess)
Thanks, Andrea, this is great.
VICTORIA
How delightful! Impressive.
At the bar, Charles sits, watches, nursing a draft.
Santiago comes into view, walking toward him.
Charles puts his beer down, stands up, much taller.
SANTIAGO
Well, look who it is. This means Victoria must be here.
He looks around, spots her, strides toward her. Charles comes to full attention.
Santiago approaches from behind, places his hand on Victoria’s shoulder.
SANTIAGO (CONT’D)
Ah, the spoils of victory. Nice table. Who is this splendid specimen?
VICTORIA
Oh, Santiago. This is Kayla.
KAYLA
Congratulations. I saw the match.
SANTIAGO
Yes, another win for perfection.
(to Victoria)
I understand you’re coming to Miami.
Victoria nods.
SANTIAGO (CONT’D)
Give me a call. I’ll be there. There’s something I’d like to propose.
Victoria nods.
SANTIAGO (CONT’D)
Nice to meet you, Kayla.
Hope to see you again.
Santiago leaves, waves hello to a rowdy crowd at a large circular table for twelve who receive him with cheers as Porshe stands and pulls a chair out for him.
At the table, Kayla watches Santiago’s reception.
KAYLA
A proposal. Sounds interesting.
VICTORIA
He thinks being the captain of the team gives him off-field privileges.
KAYLA
He’s handsome.
VICTORIA
And smart. He runs a cloning lab for the ponies in Buenes Aires.
Did you notice our horses were all the same?
KAYLA
Actually I didn’t. Interesting.
VICTORIA
Our company help fund the cloning of Dolly back in 1996. The first polo ponies were cloned in 2012. The first monkeys in 2018. The Chinese have now cloned humans, and Santiago wants to follow up.
KAYLA
With you?
VICTORIA
I’ve heard as much from mutual friends. I think he’s simply trying to smooth talk his way into my britches, but of course with cloning, that’s not necessary!
KAYLA
That’s no fun.
(changing the subject)
So, Victoria, what do you do when you’re not playing polo?
VICTORIA
I manage a hedge fund based in London, but many of our investments are in American companies.
KAYLA
That would be hard for me; I can barely manage my own money.
VICTORIA
I’m more of a mathematician than a money manager. I help create algorithms for blockchain applications as well as currency trading.
KAYLA
I’m not even sure what algorithms even are, or do, or whatever.
VICTORIA
Algorithms are like recipes, steps used to make things, like calculations, or to resolve problems, or make decisions. Arguably, the most important things in the world are algorithms.
Kayla gives a look of not understanding.
VICTORIA (CONT’D)
We ourselves, as biological organisms, are algorithms, with our brain constantly signalling with neural networking so we can make decisions. So, for me, everything is data flow: personal through social networks, biochemical, economic, political. The data flow knows. My algorithms chart and decipher the flows, then automatically invest appropriately.
Kayla, blank-faced, waves her hand over her head.
KAYLA
That data flowed right over my head.
Victoria smiles at the gesture, comes back to Kayla’s earth.
VICTORIA
What about you, when you’re not watching polo?
KAYLA
Lawyer, mostly environmental work. Turtles have been coming to the beach right here for millions of years to lay their eggs, but it’s possible it’ll all end soon. It’s late in the season but they’re still laying. Wanna check ‘em out? Moon is perfect.
Victoria leans back, considering the offer.
VICTORIA
When in Rome.
CHEERS comes up from Santiago’s table. Santiago sneaks a peek at Victoria to see if she’s watching.
LATER
With empty coffee cups in front of them, Victoria sighs.
VICTORIA (CONT’D)
Well, that was splendid! Please allow me to pay for dinner tonight.
KAYLA
Are you sure?
VICTORIA
Yes, of course; wonderful atmosphere and a delectable dinner.
The check is presented. Victoria scans it, then places two one-hundred-dollar bills on the table.
She stands, but, somewhat inebriated, she staggers.
Out of nowhere, Charles appears and steadies her.
VICTORIA (CONT’D)
Oh, Charles, thank you. That Ocean Grill Chardonnay.
(to Kayla)
Kayla Hitch, this is my co-pilot, Charles Blackwood.
Charles nods to Kayla as Victoria composes herself.
VICTORIA (CONT’D)
Right. Well, I’ll see you
at the plane at ten.
Having been dismissed, Charles marches out, followed by Victoria and Kayla.
Santiago watches.
EXT. OCEAN GRILL – NIGHT
Outside in the fresh air, Charles walks off. The two ladies take in the scene of the beach and the moon.
KAYLA
You’re a pilot?
VICTORIA
I am.
KAYLA
You’re full of surprises.
(pause)
I’m not sure you should drive.
VICTORIA
I came with Charles.
Kayla is stunned.
KAYLA
You came here with him and you didn’t have dinner with him?
VICTORIA
Yes, well, I suppose that seems rather odd. You might say he’s
my body guard.
KAYLA
Yeah, I saw him stop your captain when he was gettin’ a little fresh.
VICTORIA
You saw that? You’ve been watching me closely.
She takes Kayla by the arm and leans in.
VICTORIA (CONT’D)
(whispering)
Maybe I’ll need my body guard tonight after all.
KAYLA
Depends upon what you’re afraid of.
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Ron Reid’s Finished Act 1 First Draft
“What I learned doing this assignment is how quickly I did the first scene a short time and then went on to do this first draft of Act. 1. It is not getting me an agent but I am happy I got my first 19 pages of a fast-paced story that reveals characters and allows me to keep the reader hooked as the story is unraveling we get more and I hope the reader wants more. This is only growing and getting better. I am so happy to have a vast wealth of layers, mysterious an dilemmas to put my characters through.
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Finally, I got back to this after a month of “life” intervened, and trying to figure out a new purchase of Final Draft 12. This wasn’t a fast write, as I spent time researching some historical information that needed to get done so I could picture what I was writing about. Act 1 is Antonia’s story. I found it sticky to get going with the dialogue. I don’t have any judgement if it’s good or generic. I enjoyed seeing how characters found good things to say now and then. I liked writing the prose so much better!
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Rob’s Finished Act 1
I forgot to post because I just kept hammering with the script. Really enjoying it now that I am writing from the outline and getting some words on the page.
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