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Day 2 Assignments
Reply to post your assignments.
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24 Replies
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Karen Crider’s Character structure
I am absolutely capable of creating great Character structures.
My vision is to be a stronger writer.
What I learned: That structure is a pain, but a required pain that must be appreciated. That too is an acquired art. I am still not happy with it, it will most likely change. Thanks.
Antagonist: Mortimer’s an African wolf.
Beginning: Mortimer, a huge African wolf, has hunted for three days and nights and has not taken any prey capable of killing a hunger pain.
Inciting incident: Mortimer’s attacked by a wild dog. Mortimer kills him.
Turning point 1: Famished, Mortimer passes near a non-communal, hyena den and hears young cubs mewling. He spies the mom leaving. Mortimer burrows into her den and steals a cub.
Act 2: While doing so, Mortimer’s attacked by another hyena and kills it. During the fray, the hyena cub goes missing.
Turning point 2/Midpoint: Maasai Village: Protag follows clan. Mortimer attacks a Maasai mother and her infant delivered in the woods.
Protag: Shadow, (Protagonist) attacks Mortimer and saves the family. Mortimer escapes.
Act three: The Maasai warriors give chase behind Mortimer’s grisly path, not knowing he is waiting for them. Mortimer attacks and kills several.
Act three turning point: Mortimer foams at the mouth and kills whatever he comes into contact with.
Act 4: climax: Mortimer attacks the protag’s mother after a hunt. The protag attacks Mortimer.
Resolution: Mortimer dies.
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Protagonist: Shadow the hyena
Beginning: Shadow, a young hyena, born in a den with his brothers.
Inciting Incident: Mortimer, (antagonist) A starving wolf burrows into their den, cub-napping Shadow’s brother.
Turning point: The hyena mother moves her traumatized Shadow and his brother to the communal den, where her and Shadow are both bullied.
Act 2: Shadow’s called a coward, even though he defends his mom from the matriarch’s offspring. Because he does so, he’s perceived as a threat, and to get even, he’s ousted by the clan’s matriarch.
Turning point 2: Abandonment/ survival issues surrounding immaturity-failures/ shortcomings.
Midpoint: The clan howler announces the Olympic Hyena Howling Contest.
Act 3: Shadow needs a large, new clan for food/safety. Practices day and night, while under attack. Attends contest at clan’s headquarters. Jeered. Brother wins, who’s ashamed of Shadow’s bearing.
Turning point: Shadow decides to change. Bathes, tries to harness his hunting skills. A young and fearful lion, as young as Shadow chases him. He slices Shadow’s nose. Shadow returns the favor and outruns lion.
Act 4: At a village, Shadow’s petrified, but has to confront the rabid African wolf to save a Maasai mother and infant. Flashbacks of his early attacks by Mortimer haunt him. He manages to run Mortimer off.
Climax: Mortimer attacks Shadow’s mother after a hunt. Shadow’s love for his mom causes him to lose his fear, inducing him to fight and kill Mortimer.
Shadow has matured and evolved into a splendid predator, contrary to his old clan’s opinion, who he educates.
Resolution: Shadow’s mom and brothers leave their clan. They form a new, family clan with Shadow as their leader…
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Andrew Boyd’s Deeper Layer
My Vision:
For Hitler’s Choirboys to be such a compelling screenplay that Steven Spielberg and Mel Gibson will battle it out to produce their best WW2 blockbuster since Hacksaw Ridge or Schindler’s List.
What I learned from this assignment:
How to layer the subtext and intrigue for each major character into the overall outline, in a way that demonstrates the impact each character has on one another and the overall story.
Protagonist Henry Gerecke:
Surface Layer: Lutheran chaplain and US Army captain, tasked with keeping the Nazis alive and breaking the Nazi legend.
Deeper Layers: Overcome personal humiliation manifested in fear of humiliating others in order to learn tough love. He must also overcome fear of losing his temper like his father.
Major Reveal: O’Connor shows Henry that his humiliation in the WWI recruitment line is holding him back; court artist Laura Knight shows Henry he must break through the Nazis’ denial and make them see; Gilbert shows Henry he must marshal the evidence and confront the Nazis with it, and Fuller shows him he must get tough.
Influences Surface Story: Henry changes his approach, overcomes his fear of humiliating others, learns tough love and successfully challenges the Nazis.
Hints: His humiliation is revealed at the recruitment line scene, and the depth of that wound is revealed by Sixtus. His anger and fear of losing control is revealed at Dachau and at times with the guards and the Nazis.
Changes Reality: Henry learns that sometimes the best way to serve another person is to get mad with them. He learns to show tough love. He confronts the Nazis to get them to denounce the Nazi legend and make their peace.
Second Protagonist Samuel Fuller:
Surface Layer: Survive the war and go home; get respect by hustling, making money, gain love and kudos by being a great entertainer.
Deeper Layer: Abandoned by his alcoholic father; suspicious of father figures; raised by his brother, who is murdered by Nazis. Determined to get revenge. Wants to get back home, but has no home to go back to.
Major Reveal: After his brother is murdered by Nazis, he wants to kill a Nazi POW, but Henry, his father figure, stands in his way.
Influences Surface Story: Fuller goes further off the rails after Dachau and his later racial abuse by the Nazis. He rebels against authority figures and breaks the rules.
Hints: Character of a hustler and rule-breaker revealed early on. Hints at what has happened to his brother emerge in his drinking and fury at Dachau and lead up to the major incident with the POW.
Changes Reality: Almost kills his racist sergeant, but in the end, memory of his father figure, Henry, holds him back. Eventually reconciled with Henry, his father, and himself.
Hermann Goering:
Surface Layer: To save his neck at Nuremberg, keep his and the Nazi legend alive, and go down a hero.
Deeper Layer: Abandoned by his father and mother; vain, narcissistic, controlling. A fragile ego and a moral coward who refuses to lay down his self-justifications to face the truth.
Major Reveals: Goering realises he is going to die as a criminal, not as a hero. The one who calls himself ‘the last Renaissance Man’ has been hoodwinked by an art forger. He discovers that he himself is unauthentic.
Influences Surface Story: Goering fights back all the harder to keep his and the Nazi legend alive. He takes centre stage in the courtroom, and dominates the other defendants. When he realises that all is lost he commits suicide so his legend as a hero can live on in his imagination.
Hints: Moments of excessive vanity and narcissism that take Henry’s and Gilbert’s breath away.
Changes Reality: Gilbert cuts Goering out from the other defendants to limit his dominance. The prosecution brings in more visual evidence to cut through his obfuscations. Henry uses Goering’s love for his little daughter to try to get through to him. What that fails, he zeros in on his vanity.
Mentor / Shapeshifter Gustave Gilbert
Surface Layer: Prison psychologist charged with keeping the Nazis alive until we can hang ‘em. And with spying on them.
Deeper Layer: Loathes the Nazis for what they have done to his people. Conflicted in his desire to understand, and so prevent any recurrence, and his desire for revenge.
Major Reveal: Under Henry’s questioning it becomes clear that Gilbert is turning a blind eye to evidence of insanity so every defendant will be forced to stand trial and hopefully hang.
Influences Surface Story: The Nazis all stand trial, even Hess, who to outsiders seems quite mad.
Hints: Gilbert’s silence and inadequate answers to Henry’s questions about their fitness to stand trial. His pre-war opposition to fascism in the USA. His drivenness and fanaticism.
Changes Reality: All the Nazis stand trial, when some, perhaps, should have been considered insane. His wisdom as a psychologist influences Henry, as does his fury and determination to bring them to account.
Mentor Sixtus O’Connor
Surface Layer: Roman Catholic chaplain to the Nazis. Keep them alive until justice is done, minister to their needs
Deeper Layer: Traumatised by what he saw at Mauthausen concentration camp. And possibly by the revenge attacks he may have failed to prevent.
Major Reveal: Carrying a huge rock like a prisoner up the death steps of Mauthausen, finding satisfaction and penance in the pain he inflicts on himself.
Influences Surface Story: A major influence on Henry as a mentor.
Hints: O’Connor has backaches that he won’t talk about. He drinks too much to self-medicate.
Changes Reality: He changes Henry’s approach to the Nazis by revealing the Lutheran chaplain’s fear of humiliation. One of his congregation is the first to acknowledge his responsibility and turn around. That inspires Henry to do the same.
Character Journey Structures:
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Main protagonist Henry Gerecke
Beginning: Playing the trombone hot while Fuller hits the keys in an impromptu jam session for patients in hospital. Establishes both protagonists as likeable and liking each other in their Ordinary World in Munich immediately after the war, just before the call to Nuremberg.
Inciting Incident: Outer Journey: Sent by his commander to Nuremberg to be chaplain to the leading Nazis, with the brief: ‘Keep ‘em alive until we can kill ‘em.’ And while you’re at it, break the Nazi legend by getting them to denounce Hitler and take responsibility for their crimes.
Inner Journey: Humiliated on the WWI Army recruitment line by his own father as he tries to sign up to fight the Kaiser. Reluctant to humiliate others and afraid of losing his temper like his father. Has to overcome both.
Turning Point 1: Both Henry’s boys are wounded in the war. And the horror of Dachau concentration camp almost breaks him. Forced to take drastic measures to stop Fuller killing a Nazi. Stretches their relationship to breaking point. And reveals Henry’s fear of losing his temper and so losing control.
Act 2: Trying to get through to the Nazi defendants at Nuremberg to make them admit their guilt. Given the run around by Hermann Goering.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: O’Connor shows Henry that his humiliation in the WWI recruitment line is holding him back; court artist Laura Knight shows Henry he must break through the Nazis’ denial and make them see; Gilbert shows Henry he must marshal the evidence and confront the Nazis with it, and Fuller shows him he must get tough.
Henry learns that the only way to break through to these Nazi defendants is to get tough with them: ‘You have to stand up to bullies.’
Act 3: Overcoming his flaws, Henry changes his approach to one of tough love, confronting the Nazis with hard evidence of their guilt, shattering their denial and justifications, until some break free of Goering’s influence and denounce Hitler in court.
Turning Point 3: Huge failure as Henry launches into a go-for-broke confrontation with Hermann Goering, who commits suicide rather than hang.
Act 4 Climax: Some of the Nazis respond to the Chaplain’s tough love and sheer determination. They go to the gallows having faced up to what they have done and made their peace with God.
Resolution: Henry reunited with wife and family, restored to Sam Fuller before his death. Celebration memorial, with Sam Fuller playing the organ – hot.
Protagonist 2, Sam Fuller, Character Journey Structure
Beginning: Hitting the keys of a piano and playing it hot, while Henry Gerecke sizzles on the trombone in an impromptu jam session to patients in a hospital ward in post-war Munich. Establishes both protagonists as likeable and liking one another in their Ordinary World – the unlikely pairing of the hustler and the chaplain.
Inciting Incident: Outer Journey: Sent with his boss Henry Gerecke to Nuremberg to be assistant to the chaplain to the leading Nazis. All he ever wanted was survive the war and get home.
Inner Journey: Brother Joel becomes a substitute for his alcoholic and abusive father, setting up his hatred of father figures and fury at Joel’s murder by the Nazis. He did his duty by following in Joel’s footsteps and signing up. Now all that’s left is the hustle. And revenge.
Turning Point 1: Fuller is told his brother was murdered by the SS when he tried to surrender in Germany. Tries to take his revenge on an SS POW. Stretches to breaking point his relationship with Henry Gerecke, father figures in general, and all authority.
Act 2: Racially insulted by the Nazis and walks out on the chaplain. Offered a stark choice: guard the leading Nazis or go to jail. He opts for guard duty – as a way of tormenting the Nazis.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Returns to his ordinary world of hustling, singing and cracking jokes in a GI nightclub, which provokes growing antagonism from his racist sergeant, who swears he will kill him.
Act 3: Teasing and tormenting the Nazis, challenging his former boss Henry Gerecke that it’s time to get tough. [Fuller’s position as Sidekick/Mentor is filled by Laura Knight, who shows Henry he must break through their denial to make the Nazis see what they have done.]
Turning Point 3: Loses large amounts of money running a book on how many Nazis will hang. Sergeant Brannigan says Fuller owes him and demands his money.
Act 4 Climax: Confronts his racist sergeant in an alley in Nuremberg. Overcomes him as he did the US guard at Dachau. Almost kills him. The memory of Henry at Dachau putting his life on the line holds him back from committing murder. Goes on the run.
Resolution: Now a prisoner, reunited with Henry when the chaplain searches him out to be his assistant at Menard. Finds reconciliation and peace. Plays organ – hot – at Henry Gerecke’s memorial.
Antagonist Hermann Goering, Character Journey Structure
Beginning: A defiant ‘not guilty’ plea at the Nuremberg war crimes trial.
Inciting Incident: Outer journey: World War One fighter ace and hero, disillusioned by Germany’s collapse. Throws in his lot with Hitler.
Inner journey: Abandoned by father and mother, in his eyes, humiliated at school for admiring his Jewish ‘godfather’ who cuckolded his father. Driven by his need for self-acclaim and adulation as a hero. Blinded to his self-justifications and moral weakness.
Turning Point 1: The war is lost. But Goering tries to revive it by getting the Allies to throw in their lot with Germany against Russia. Even behind bars, he vows to fight on. And he is winning his battle with the defendants and in court.
Act 2: Goering persists with his self-justifications despite every attempt by the court, the chaplain and the psychologist to get him to take responsibility for his crimes against humanity. Instead, he doubles down on keeping the Nazi legend alive.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Goering is losing his grip on both the court and the defendants under the weight of powerful visual evidence of Nazi atrocities. The chaplains are finally persuading the other Nazis to denounce Hitler.
Act 3: Goering fights back. Gets through to the Nazi resistance to try to stage a breakout.
Turning Point 3: Goering plans his exit strategy. Determined to go down in history as a hero, he refuses to hang like a common criminal.
Act 4 Climax: Final confrontation with the chaplain, who faces Goering up to his failure as an art thief and tries to make him acknowledge his flawed sense of judgment and inauthenticity. But Goering resists this head-on assault to his vanity and refuses to surrender.
Resolution: Commits suicide rather than hang as a criminal. His effigy is burnt in Nuremberg – Germany disowns him. The end of the Nazi legend.
Mentor Sixtus O’Connor, Character Journey Structure
Beginning: In Nuremberg charged with keeping the leading Nazis alive until we can kill ‘em, by caring for his congregation. And with breaking the Nazi legend, while he’s at it.
Inciting Incident: Outer Journey: Called to Nuremberg as Catholic chaplain. As above.
Inner Journey: Liberated Mauthausen concentration camp. What he saw almost broke him. As did the retaliation he may have failed to prevent. Feels he has to atone for his guilt by serving tirelessly in Nuremberg. Self-medicates with booze.
Turning Point 1: Gets through to Nazi defendant Hans Frank, who faces up to what he has done.
Act 2: Supporting Henry Gerecke, breaking the rules to get through to the men in his care.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Reveals Henry Gerecke’s flaw to him: his fear of humiliating others, because of the humiliating wound he received from his father. Equips Henry to show tough love.
Act 3: Supports Henry in getting through to the Nazi defendants.
Turning Point 3: Gets through to Hitler Youth Leader Baldur Von Schirach by smuggling his son into prison.
Act 4 Climax: Accompanies the Catholic Nazis to the scaffold. Almost gives him a heart attack.
Resolution: Mission accomplished. But he loses his bet to Henry on the World Series. Attends Gerecke’s memorial service. Gets Sam Fuller to play the organ – hot.
Mentor / Shapeshifter Gustave Gilbert, Character Journey Structure
Beginning: Called to Nuremberg to keep the Nazis alive and to spy on them for military intelligence.
Inciting Incident: Backstory call to Nuremberg.
Turning Point 1: Gilbert wrestles with the professional dilemma of declaring some of the Nazis insane, which will mean they would escape trial and the hanging he is convinced they deserve.
Act 2: Working to understand the Nazis and so prevent a recurrence. Struggling with his roommate, Henry Gerecke, over the question of mercy for these merciless men. Trying to reconcile his professional duties as a psychologist with his personal feelings as a Jew.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Persuading Henry to marshal the evidence against the Nazis in his care and get tough with them.
Act 3: Working to both understand and undermine the Nazis and reduce the influence of Hermann Goering.
Turning Point 3: Persuading Henry to spy on the Nazis as the only way he can remain in Nuremberg and avoid being sent home.
Act 4 Climax: Observes the hanging of the Nazi defendants.
Resolution: Observes the major change in von Ribbentrop that Henry has effected, recognising Henry was playing the long game. Reconciled to himself as both Jew and psychologist.
Many thanks!
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Module 4 – Lesson 2 – The Deeper Layer
Lisa Long’s Deeper Layer!
My Vision: I will do whatever it takes to be comfortable saying that I am a writer by creating impactful stories with amazing characters in order to sell my scripts.
What I learned from this assignment is to think about why the characters are reacting the way they are. What baggage do they carry? What’s lurking under the surface?
Surface
Layer: Molly is afraid of being in a
new place and is scrambling to figure out how to survive. Ed can’t relate
to Molly and doesn’t know how to act or treat her. Ed treats Mars with
distain. Mars thinks he’s racist, but it’s really because of the dancing.
Deeper
Layer: Molly is angry with her mother
for leaving her. Ed is still angry with Molly’s mother for leaving him too.Major
Reveal: Molly leaves to fulfill her
dream which brings up everything for Ed.
Influences
Surface Story: April appears at Molly’s show
and talks to Ed.
Hints: When Ed sees how wonderful Molly is at dancing, he
realizes that he has been too harsh to her. Mars and Ed come together to
support Molly’s dream.
Changes
Reality: Molly and Ed realize they have
a lot in common and they learn to love each other. April returns and they
reconcile with her. Mars returns to NYC. Ed passes away with his family
around him. April and Molly have reunited and dance together which is how
they express their love.Beginning: Molly’s mother drops her off at her father’s restaurant/house on the Chesapeake Bay. She has never met her father and has a meltdown as her mother leaves.
Inciting Incident: Molly’s father, Edgar puts Molly to work in the restaurant against her will. She has to earn her keep even though she is his daughter. They fight over this.
Turning Point 1: Molly meets Mars a choreographer and they strike up a friendship over dance. Mars is at the beach to mourn the passing of his partner.
Act 2: Mars gets Molly an audition for the Nutcracker in NYC. They plot how to get her there.
Turning Point 2/Midpoint: A hurricane blows in and Mars saves Molly from drowning. Ed is furious at the both of them.
Act 3: Molly lies to Mars and tells him that Ed said it was okay to go to the audition. They take off for NYC. When she returns with a part in the Nutcracker, Ed forbids her to go.
Turning Point 3: Ed and Molly have a huge fight. Mars wants to talk to Ed before they go, but Molly makes excuses, and they take off for NYC.
Act 4 Climax: Ed follows them to NYC to bring Molly back, but when he sees how exquisite her dancing is, he can’t bring himself to ruin her dream. He sees April there and she asks to come home.
Resolution: Ed and Molly reconcile. April returns. Ed is ill. Mars returns to NYC for good. The family is back together as Ed passes away. April and Molly dance together in tribute.
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WIM2 – Dana’s Deeper Layer
My Vision: I intend to perfect my skills to become a successful screenwriter, scripting acclaimed and profitable films, recognized by my peers, and living an adventurous life.
What I learned during this assignment:
Delving into the layers of my story/characters has given me greater insight into their motivations and their relationship to each other. Not only have I learned my antagonist is psychotic, but he’s also calculating, driven by greed and has empathy for Ruth.
DEEPER LAYERS
Surface Layer: Ruth has been kidnapped for ransom and is being held hostage in an abandoned steel mill.
Deeper Layer: The kidnapper has contracted with Ruth’s husband to kidnap and kill Ruth for the ransom.
Major Reveal: Ruth’s husband tries to renegotiate the deal, and the kidnapper reveals his involvement by calling him and allowing Ruth to hear the call.
Influences Surface Story: Even though he endangers her life, he protects her, keeping her alive until the ransom is paid.
Hints: An article in the newspaper used for Ruth’s proof of life photo reveals the fate of the kidnapper’s last victim.
Changes Reality: Knowing her husband is involved, Ruth realizes she’s going to be killed and must find a way to escape on her own.
CHARACTER STRUCTURE
PROTAGONIST – RUTH GRIFFIN
Opening: Ruth recovers from being drugged and wakes up in the bottom of a smelting pot in an abandoned steel mill/iron works.
Inciting Incident: The Custodian, her kidnapper, reveals himself and takes a photo of her holding a newspaper as proof of life. Ruth realizes she’s behind held for ransom.
Turning Point 1: Ruth realizes the indirect danger surrounding her when she listens to a drug gang torture and kill an informant in the steel mill, and she agrees to remain silent until the ransom is paid.
Act 2: A derelict discovers Ruth and climbs into the pot to assault her. While she fights him off, the Custodian intervenes and kills the derelict.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Ruth learns her husband is involved and realizes she’s going to be left to die.
Act 3: Having spotted Ruth earlier, one of the gang members returns, curious about Ruth’s predicament, but is killed by the Custodian before she can help.
Turning Point 3: When her kidnapper leaves to collect the ransom, Ruth uses the girl’s body like a step stool to climb out of the smelting pot and escape.
Act 4 Climax: Her kidnapper returns sooner than expected, she does battle with him in a game of cat and mouse through the steel mill until he’s knocked into the smelting pot, presumed dead.
Resolution: Ruth is taken to the hospital by ambulance. The Custodian has vanished from the smelting pot – gone.
ANTAGONIST – CUSTODIAN
Opening: He kidnaps prominent women and holds them hostage in abandoned buildings, leaving them for dead after the ransom is paid.
Inciting Incident: He contracts to kidnap Ruth for her husband and kill her on payment of the ransom.
Turning Point 1: He kidnaps Ruth and holds her hostage in the smelting pot of the steel mill.
Act 2: He reveals himself to Ruth and drops her a newspaper for a proof of life photograph. He sends the photo to her husband to show the plot is underway.
vanishes into the mill allowing a drug gang to kill one of their own to threaten Ruth to obey his instructions and remain quiet.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: When Ruth’s husband tries to renegotiate the deal claiming a problem securing the money.
Act 3: He saves Ruth from being raped by a drug addict to keep her alive until the full ransom is paid.
Turning Point 3: He murders the young gang member before she can help Ruth escape.
Act 4 Climax: He discovers Ruth has escaped the smelting pot and hunts her through the mill and falls into the smelting pot, presumed dead.
Resolution: He’s vanished.
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Ron’s Deeper Layer!
Vision: I want the success and recognition of being an in demand, A-list screenwriter who writes successful films that are financially profitable, award winning and of enduring quality.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is that this exercise helps me to coherently re-think my structure while putting the pieces together.
2. As we did above with The Sixth Sense, create each piece of this “Deeper Layer” puzzle.
Surface Layer: Lucia is an ambitious but unhappy woman
who is looking for a husband via the Internet to escape her environment in
Italy. Abused by mother and boyfriend, she lacks confidence and is in a
secure, but is determined do anything to achieve her goal. <div>Deeper Layer: She warms to her suitor, a mafia
godfather, and comes to have doubts about helping her lover, his ruthless
son, kill himMajor Reveal: When her suitor is most vulnerable to an
assassination, she botches a murder attempt thus reneging on killing himInfluences Surface Story: Carlo is kind to Lucia
melting her heart. Carlo protects her against his mafia members, Lucia is
conflicted in her love for the son and loyalty to the godfather. Carlo
confides in Lucia, which, which builds her confidenceHints: Lucia postpones killing her husband, holds off
son, her lover, takes care of Carlo who had a strokeChanges Reality: Lucia realizes she must stand up to
the son, her lover, to be true to herself<div>
3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.
Beginning: God father’s
wife is killed by rival gang member as they celebrate their 25<sup>th</sup>
wedding anniversary. Godfather is devastatedInciting Incident: Godfather goes to Italy to meet
Lucia whom he meets on Internet
Turning Point 1: Lucia accidently kills abusive
boyfriend, Godfather covers it up and takes her to America where he
marries herAct 2:
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Lucia fall in love with Godfather’s
son, and he recruits her to kill the godfatherAct 3:
Turning Point 3: Lucia reneges on killing the godfather
and must go in hiding to escape the son’s revenge. She takes the godfather
with her, who has suffered a strokeAct 4 Climax: Son hunts Lucia, but she manages to kill
him in a confrontation.
Resolution: The godfather recovers, but he is too weak
to rule the mafia and puts Lucia in charge. She is the only person he
trusts.</div></div>
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Joyce’s Deeper Layers<div>
To create memorable scripts that actors want to perform.
WIL: Much under the surface will add suspense, intrigue, and reveals.
<div>
Title:
“Cardenio Lost”High concept: After his professor is badly beaten, a Shakespearean scholar searches for the attacker and for the professor’s lost manuscript before new evidence explodes.
PROTAGONIST: COLIN
Act 1
Beginning: COLIN argues with the professor to prevent him from publishing his manuscript until the class has won their PHD’s.
Inciting Incident: When the professor who wrote about who wrote Shakespeare’s plays is attacked, left for dead, and is unable to speak or walk, his class decides one of them must investigate; they draw straws, and Colin loses.
Turning Point 1: Delaney fakes her loss and joins Colin in the search for the attacker from clues the professor can tap for them.
Act 2:
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: After they argue all the way to Italy, they realize they are being followed and blame each other.
Act 3:
Turning Point 3: Bragg kidnaps Delaney and Colin realizes he must save her.
Act 4 Climax: They find a seventh generation family who have written information about “Cardenio” with clues to the lost manuscript just before Bragg burns their family papers.
Resolution: They work as a team to solve the mystery of Cardenio and find the manuscript, as Colin realizes Delaney is more important than the century-old argument about who wrote Shakespeare’s plays.
Surface layer: Colin helps the professor.
Deeper layer: He opposes the professor’s disclaiming Shakespeare’s legacy.
Major reveal: He discovers ruthless men who will kill to suppress new evidence.
Influences surface story: He is fighting for the wrong side.
Hints: He argues that the status quo is correct, but the professor claims to have a manuscript ready to publish and fears that groups will stop him.
Changes reality: An attacker sends the professor to the hospital with serious results.
ANTAGONIST: Delaney
Beginning: Her family has had proof for centuries that an ancestor was a prolific writer, but never given credit, so she resents Colin for his opposing beliefs and his short-sighted surrender to Laurel’s obvious intentions to use him.
Inciting Incident: She promises Bragg that she will find and hand over the manuscript.
Turning Point 1: Colin tries to lose her, but she makes the flight to Italy.
Act 2:
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint:
Act 3:
Turning Point 3: When Bragg kidnaps her, she realizes to late that he represents people who want to stop them.
Act 4 Climax: Colin saves her, and they discover a family who have heard about Cardenio. Their information leads them to the manuscript.
Resolution: When she sees what a good man Colin is, she throws the manuscript off a bridge, and Bragg dives to save it.
Surface layer: Opposes the professor.
Deeper layer: She has family claims that reverse Shakespeare’s legacy.
Major reveal: She accompanies Colin to destroy new evidence.
Influences surface story: She trusts the true antagonist Bragg.
Hints: She meets Bragg and believes him.
Changes reality: She has to steal whatever Colin finds and that means go with him to Italy.
</div></div>
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<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Subject: Monica’s Deeper Layer!
Vision: I will continue to learn everything I can through all different media to apply what I learn to become the best screenwriter I can be. To be successful in getting my movies made and to win awards in the process.
What I learned from doing this assignment is to think about each character’s wound and find the deeper meaning to who they are through that.
2. As we did above with The Sixth Sense, create each piece of this “Deeper Layer” puzzle.
Surface Layer: Conall takes a mission to recover
an ancient artefact.Deeper Layer: Conall knows the artefact can
change the timeline and he wants it for himself and he’ll do anything to
keep it and use it.Major Reveal: The final scene reveals the
timeline was actually manipulated and Conall gets his family back and the
Elites are gone. But this is a new and different timeline. Also, reveal
that Jay is an Alien and he only came here to retrieve the artefact.Influences Surface Story: There’s much hesitancy as manipulating
timelines has direct effect on other dimensions. Altering a timeline can
bring unintended results; the Elites could get more powerful and have the
entire population enslaved to them.Hints: Jay the Alien
seems to know all about the artefact and what it’s capable of doing but he
is cautious. He’s a scientist and can show Conall what could happen
throughout. This timeline will end in 2030 which is what Jay needs to save
the future.Changes Reality: Discovering Jay is an Alien and that he
manipulated the timeline to fix his timeline, but he eliminated the Elites
and brought Conall’s family back to him.3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.
PROTAGONIST: CONALL COFFEY
Beginning: A secret meeting between
the 5 powerful men who run the world and Conall to steal an ancient
artefact from a museum. The artefact can alter the timeline and the elite
want it so they always come out on top.Inciting Incident: Takes on a mission from the five most
powerful men in the world, to steal an ancient artefact with a mysterious
third party.Turning Point 1: Conall and Jay dismantle the artefact
and steal it themselves.Act 2: Being chased by the elite and
military our hero hides out in an abandoned military bunker. He sets up the artefact to try to figure
out why it keeps giving the same answer. Civilization ends in 2030.Turning Point
2/Midpoint: Our hero is found out and
the artefact is stolen back during an intense battle.Act 3: Our hero sneaks
into the house of his former partner. He convinces her to join their
fight. She recruits a few others, and they plan a major assault.Turning Point 3: But they’re captured and taken to the
artefact because it’s now giving information that the elite think the hero
programmed it to do. They have 2 days to re-program it and give them the
answer they want, or they’ll be executed.Act 4 Climax: Our
mysterious third-party programs the artefact to bring the extinction
timeline in three days’ time disguising it as the elite’s plan for world
domination. When the elite come to see what the artefact says now, they are
happy, but our hero kills them all.
Resolution: We find our mysterious third party is
an alien from the future trying to warn us about our total disregard for
the planet. Jay takes the artefact, and leaves through the portal. Jay has eliminated the Elites and a significant part of the population, but he saves the future. Our hero, his family and his partner and team set out to build a new future.ANTAGONIST: HARRY BERNHAM
· Beginning: Harry chairs the secret meeting and introduces Conall to the group. He used to be Special Forces and knows they are trustworthy and loyal.
· Inciting Incident: The other Elites know that Harry grieves his wife and tell him that if this mission fails – he’s out. He reminds him he is the only one with the capability to program the artefact the way they need it to be programmed.
Turning Point 1: Harry goes after Conall after it is
determined that Conall stole the artefact.
Act 2: Harry finds Conall but lets
him build the artefact.
Turning Point 2 /
Midpoint: The Elites find out that
Harry knows where Conall and the artefact is. The Elites storm the bunker
and steal the artefact for themselves.Act 3: Harry sets up the artefact. But it keeps
giving the same answer – life on Earth all ends in 2030.Turning Point 3: The Elite capture Conall and demand
he re-program it. Harry and Conall work on re-programming the artefact.Act 4 Climax: The artefact
appears to give the impression they have changed the timeline until Harry
notices weird things happening.Resolution: Harry and the Elites are dead.
TRIANGLE CHARACTER: JAY the ALIEN
Beginning: He arrived on Earth
through a portal intentionally crashing his spaceship.Inciting Incident: Allowed himself to be captured.
Turning Point 1: Agrees to consult on the recovery of
the ancient artefact as long as he gets as much organic strawberry ice
cream as he wants.Act 2: Helps set up the artefact.
Turning Point 2 /
Midpoint: He programs it to do the
opposite of what the Elites told him to do.Act 3: Jay inserts commands into the
artefact.Turning Point 3: The countdown on the artefact clock
shows doomsday in 3 days. Only Jay can stop the countdown.Act 4 Climax: Refusing to stop
the countdown, Jay helps Conall bring an end to the madness.· Resolution: Tells Conall, that he, Jay, is Conall in the future. Steps through the portal with the artefact and goes home.
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Karen Crider’s Deeper Layer
My vision is to be a stronger writer
What I learned: A screenplay is like a house. It takes rafters and sills, a foundation and roof to grant integrity. A writer is a carpenter of words, an architect of floor plans, a consumer of materials necessary for a sturdy structure. All it takes is hard work, creativity, a detailed blueprint and lots of perseverance…
I am absolutely capable of building in an engaging deeper layer.
SURFACE LAYER: When a wolf digs up a hyena’s den and uproots a young hyena sibling for dinner, he traumatizes another cub named, Shadow. One who must find a way to survive in spite of the trauma.
DEEPER LAYER:
Couple the wolf’s attack with the constant bullying of others, results in Shadow fleeing to avoid fighting, earning him the reputation as a coward.
MAJOR REVEAL:
The terror Shadow feels growing up, is the same terror he felt when the antagonist, Mortimer, attacked their family den. But the fear disappears, when he fights for those he loves.
INFLUENCES SURFACE STORY: Mortimer (antagonist) is the influencer of the surface story. He burrows into the young, hyena’s den and captures Surus, who disappears after a hyena attacks Mortimer. (I’m changing Surus’ gender to a girl. Spotted hyenas have a matriarch leadership; thus, Shadow cannot be his clan’s leader.) Surus is nabbed by Silla, the matriarch, during the fray. Silla’s has only one offspring. She decides to change Surus’ name to be trained as a future leader.
HINTS: Wolves as a norm seldom, if ever, dig up a hyena’s den. A hyena has a bite force greater than a panther. They are nothing to be messed with, especially around their young. This is a hint that Mortimer has something wrong with him.
From early on, Shadow vows to kill Mortimer for killing his sister. Shadow doesn’t know she is alive. He doesn’t know Mortimer has rabies, and he doesn’t know how to kill the wolf that’s a savage fighter. One he’s deathly afraid of. But his hatred of Mortimer has become stronger than his fear.
CHANGES REALITY:
The older Shadow gets, the more he is forced to fight his nemesis. Experience derives from other creatures, who beat the tar out of him, every time he turns around. It’s either fight or die. But every battle, every rampage, every claw, slash and fang mark, prepare him for his show down with Mortimer; even though fear of facing Mortimer almost reduces him to the point of learned helplessness.
Mortimer forces Shadow to fight harder. It’s love for family that changes his reality of who he is after he kills Mortimer, which in turn motivates Shadow to educates his old clan to realize who he truly is; especially, after he finds Surus is alive and trained to lead by the matriarch, Silla. The frosting is on the cake, when she is willing to be the matriarch of his newest clan–his family.
ACT 1:
MORTIMER, an afflicted, African wolf, has been attacked by a wild dog. He barely survives, but as a result, has not eaten in three days.
As he scours the brush, Mortimer hears the mewlings of hyena cubs. He spies the mother, IVY, as she leaves to hunt; then he burrows into the den.
The youngest hyena, SHADOW, is traumatized when Mortimer invades, grappling his sister, SURUS. Outside the den, Shadow doesn’t know that SILLA, his clan’s matriarch, has snuck in during the fray between the wolf and the hyena, and kipped his sister for her own.
–Inciting Incident:
Shadow is ousted out of the clan in retribution of him standing up to Silla’s, matriarch offspring, HILLY, who beats up on Shadow’s mom.
Turning Point: Shadow re-constructs the den of his birth outside the communal dens. He survives as a dejected, grub eater, one who determines to get even with Hilly and kill Mortimer.
Silly demands that Surus keeps the lower- class hyenas in subjection. She goes after Ivy. Ivy notices her heart shaped spot on her neck and catches her scent. Ivy knows she is Surus. Ivy tells her. Surus is in denial.
.ACT 2:
The clan howlers announce the opening of the Olympic Hyena Howling contest where the winner is accepted into the largest clan.
Shadow gets beat up for practicing. He’s terrible. He attends the affair and loses. His brother, Brimsley howls a Pavarotti Aria and wins. He shuns Shadow.
Hilly is jealous of Surus and spills the beans about her being a cub that Silla has stolen. Surus learns she is not entitled to be recognized as being in a higher class. She tells Surus who she really is.
Surus and Ivy meet with Brimsley. They look for Shadow, to make a plan of leaving their given clans.
Turning Point: Shadow decides to become more like Brimsley. He bathes, practices howling, polishes his hunting skills, fails in hunting a zebra, but gains a little confidence in trying.
ACT THREE:
Shadow follows the scent trail of his old clan to a Maasai village, where hyena’s serve as undertakers to the dead. Silla is not in the lead. The lead looks like his mom. How can this be?
Mortimer shows up and goes on a killing spree. Shadow hides.
Shadow recognizes the face of his sister’s killer—the missing ear, the phlegm- colored eye, the scar. He flashes back to being a cub again. He freezes. Hides.
Follows his old clan back to their den, disappointed in his actions.
Shadow battles a juvenile lion the same age as he is. They spar; their growls are louder than the damage they do to each other.
–The lion runs Shadow off. Another failure, but survives his first encounter with the hyena’s arch-enemy. Shadow learns if he can fight a lion cub and survive, he has a chance of surviving Mortimer.
ACT FOUR:
–Shadow trots a path heavy with hyena scent, where ahead on the trail, Silla drags a zebra into the brush.
–A feeding frenzy results in dinner ending in minutes. Silla and he’s not sure who’s with her, exits the corpse.
–A free- for-all takes place, as the remaining hyena’s and vultures battle for scraps.
–As Shadow takes a side trail up the hill, he recognizes her frenzied howl. She’s begging for help.
–Mortimer, the frenzied wolf, has Ivy by her hindquarters. No other hyenas are present.
–Shadow goes for the wolf’s throat and hangs on.
–Shadow kills Mortimer.
Surus, Brimsley and Ivy show up. Shadow is hurt, but ecstatic over finding his sister. Together with his family, Shadow hobbles back to his den, as they relay their plan for their future.
–While his family waits for him in the perimeters, Shadow taunts Silla and his old clan. Silla backs off and lets her guards do the fighting.
The guards jeer him. They attack. Shadow counter attacks and leaves them in the dust. He calls Silla a coward. No one contests him for doing it. He leaves with his family.
Silla watches sadly from a distance as Surus joins her new clan. Silla knows she has lost her for good.
-Ivy, Brimsley, and Surus, leave with Shadow. They form a new clan.
RESOLUTION:
Surus takes the lead as they trot away from their origins. Not one of them look back, not even Surus.
Shadow finally belongs, and no one ever doubts his leadership or ability ever again…
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George Petersen DEEPER LAYER!
My Vision is to direct one of my screenplays as a low-budget indie feature
What I learned is getting a better handle on what drives a character leads to a more naturally evolving plot.
Surface Layer: the scientist inexplicably commands his attorney to draw up a will leaving all his wealth to a good-for-nothing hippie no one has ever heard of.
Deeper Layer: the hippie is actually an expression of the scientist’s dark side.
Major Reveal: the big reveal comes in the final scene when the attorney stands triumphantly over the dying hippie’s body. At that moment, the hippie undergoes a metamorphosis into the scientist. The new reality is that the attorney has just killed his best friend.
Influences Surface Story: the scientist carries a deep secret that the hippie is an expression of his dark side, a kind of doppelgänger of evil. (In this version of the classic story, he’s not a true doppelgänger because he’s not really a different person; he’s a double but not really.) The scientist insists on the will so that his wealth will be transferred to his doppelgänger just in case he gets stuck on the other side. Of course, this makes no sense to everyone else in the story. And the attorney decides to uncover the truth, no matter the cost.
Hints: the scientist and the hippie are never in the same scene. Something is going on between Alfred and the drug dealer, Cowboy, concerning a rare drug from Nevada that is no longer available.
The scientist seems a little too interested in the attorney’s reports on the progress the police investigation is making.
Changes Reality: the attorney, in his efforts to destroy the hippie and “save” his best friend, ends up killing and destroying his best friend.
*
Beginning:
Inciting Incident: the scientist inexplicably commands his attorney to draw up a will leaving all his wealth to a good-for-nothing hippie no one has ever heard of. Furthermore, the scientist makes the attorney promise solemnly never to interfere in this matter. To do so will end their friendship forever.
Turning Point 1: the attorney, not able to take it anymore, breaks his promise and follows the hippie in one of his escapades into the Haight-Ashbury. No going back now.
Act 2:
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: after the scientist’s “disappearance,” the hippie inherits the scientist’s wealth lock, stock and barrel. This drives the attorney crazy to no end.
Act 3:
The attorney, with the aid of a photographer who hangs out in the Haight, puts together a plan to capture the hippie red-handed in the act of murder. In this way, the attorney plans to find out where the hippie has been hiding his friend, the scientist. As well as put the hippie away for life.
Turning Point 3: the plans fails miserably, ending in the photographer getting killed.
Act 4 Climax: the attorney coordinates a plan with the full police department to catch the hippie red-handed at the Be-In. The attorney and the police force, disguised in hippie garb, manage to find the hippie in the act of committing murder — and the chase across the city is on.
Resolution: the attorney, in his efforts to destroy the hippie and “save” his best friend, ends up killing and destroying his best friend.
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Lynn Vincentnathan’s Deeper Layer!
VISION: I am determined to become a great screenwriter capable of getting my screenplays in various genres produced into movies that inspire vast audiences to mitigate climate change.
I LEARNED the importance of having surface and deeper layers to engage the audience, and this exercise helped me dig deeper into that, especially for Protag 2, Jim, in his Rom-Com, since I had already pretty much done the work for Protag 1 and the Antag.
HIGH CONCEPT: WEATHERING IT (Rom-Com) is about two college students who try to overcome family fights about global warming and get married during the worst ever Texas freeze.
==================================================================
THE LAYER OF PROTAGONISTS’ LIFE PLANS AND THE UNCLE’S FEUD
SURFACE LAYER: Ellie and Jim, attracted to each other, seem to be compatible, an ideal match.
MAJOR REVEAL: At midpoint we learn just how much Ellie’s commitment to Ely and Jim’s obligation to Fred make their marriage impossible.
INFLUENCES SURFACE STORY: At midpoint when they fight over whether to invite Uncle Ely to the wedding (Ellie’s Uncle Rudy and Jim are against, Ellie is for) they blow up and open up about their divergent obligations and life plans and call off their wedding.
HINTS: Scene 1, Ellie gives hint about not being sure about the Environmental Club’s trip to the off-the-grid farm, then in Act 1 it becomes clearer that Uncle Ely is a bitter, difficult recluse to whom Ellie is committed. In the same Act we get some hint of Jim’s obligation to his Uncle Fred, pulling him in an opposite direction to Ellie’s direction.
CHANGES REALITY: Ellie and Jim are not at all compatible in terms of overall life plans and goals UNLESS major changes are made on her part, his part, or both their parts. Or their intransigent uncles change. But by Act 3 they are sorely in love and have to work it out, somehow, someway.
————————————-
THE LAYER OF ELLIE’S “MILD MILD AUTISM” & THE OTHER MAN
SURFACE LAYER: There is an “other man” (supporting character) for Ellie, Gecko, who is mildly autistic (at Greta Thunberg’s level).
DEEPER LEVEL: Ellie thinks she is mildly mildly autistic (and she is angry that it & Gecko’s autism is due to their being exposed to pollution as a babies); but she figures she should not get involved with or marry Gecko because, after all, it could be genetic (not environmental) & would make it much more likely their children would be severely autistic. Another issue it that Gecko plans to become a climate scientist and work in NY City and she hates cities.
EVEN DEEPER LAYER: Ellie is not mildly autistic.
MAJOR REVEAL: Somewhere in Act 3 Jim helps Ellie understand that she has confused her father abandonment wound for mild autism, which then makes Gecko a viable “other man.”
INFLUENCES SURFACE STORY: Because of the autism issue Ellie avoids romantic involvement with Gecko, and also feels an affinity with recluse Uncle Ely, until she finds out in Act 3 that she is not autistic. In Act 3 Jim gets the idea that Ellie is getting involved with Gecko.
HINTS: Scene 1, when Luz says she should get involved with Gecko, Ellie says he’s a dear friend but he has issues. In Act 1 she intimates to Jim that she as “issues” to warn him off of her. Also in Act 1 in the beach scene (after the Turtle Center visit) Jim figures out Gecko is autistic. Somewhere in Act 1 or 2 Ellie explains to Luz or someone that she figures she’s mildly mildly autistic — so the audience knows her wrong assessment, but not Jim at that point.
CHANGES REALITY: Ellie cannot marry Gecko because he’s autistic and with her autism it might be trouble for their children. This changes to Ellie not being autistic and now she could consider marrying Gecko.
————————————–
THE WEATHER LAYER
SURFACE LAYER: Opening scene: It’s a hotter than usual Spring and Ellie and friend despair it will get a lot hotter — global warming? The extreme freeze in Act 4 makes us (and Uncle Fred) think this global warming assessment is wrong. It’s just fluctuating weather.
DEEPER LAYER: climate change enhances the probability of more frequent hot spells AND it also enhances the probability of bringing worse cold spells by enhancing greater Rossby waves (bringing Arctic weather down south).
MAJOR REVEAL: Late in Act 4 Uncle Ely disabuses Uncle Fred of his denialist view that the freeze disproves global warming, explaining Rossby wave enhancement, etc.
INFLUENCES SURFACE STORY: Weather is background, but when the extreme freeze happens in the subtropical Rio Grande Valley and knocks out power throughout Texas, the wedding plans seem doomed… until Ellie bucks up and gets Uncle Ely (uninvited to the wedding) to host the wedding at his off-the-grid farm.
HINTS: Some mention of an earlier unusual Texas freeze in a previous year — denialist student in Scene 2 brings it up in Ellie’s presentation about the Turtle visit as proof against global warming (but Ellie doesn’t have Ely’s good answer to that).
CHANGES REALITY: a simple understanding of global warming to a more complex understanding.
———————————————————————————
ADD THE REST OF THE STRUCTURE TO THE CHARACTERS TO THE SCRIPT.
PROTAGONIST’S (ELLIE’S) STRUCTURE
BEGINNING: Ellie and friend Luz putting up Turtle Trip posters on campus, Jim & friend Mack following the “babes.” Girls confront the guys, but there’s an attraction between Ellie and Jim.
SURFACE LAYER: Ellie is not interested in romance due to her concern about climate change & its effects on sea turtles and other life on earth; DEEPER LAYER: this is due to her father abandonment wound and her mistaken thinking she is mildly mildly autistic. SURFACE: it’s very hot for Spring; DEEPER: due to climate change. HINT: mentions about the heat, her lack of romantic interest, and implies difficulty in arranging the off-the-grid farm trip.
INCITING INCIDENT: Ellie begins to feel something special when Jim kisses her, and more so when he asks her to pray with him for the turtles and climate change mitigation.
SURFACE: solidly attracted to Jim, more so because of his interest in the turtle’s welfare and religious side. DEEPER: She feels it’s hopeless to get involved. HINT: She tries to warn Jim off, saying she has issues.
TURNING POINT 1: Ellie, after being irritable with others, finally gives in to her feelings for Jim, despite Uncle Ely’s warnings; she’s now willing to hang with Jim in a situationship. Uncle Rudy gets her to consider marriage in the abstract, though she still considers marriage as doomed (father abandonment wound, mother dying).
SURFACE: going along with Jim, but DEEPER knowing it’s hopeless. HINT: Uncle Ely seen as anti-social and Ellie into going along with him; REVEAL: Uncle Rudy brings up her father abandonment and mother’s failed marriage, but focuses on his own successful marriage and how it is a wonderful thing.
ACT 2: Ellie fears turning Jim’s marriage proposal down, doesn’t want to hurt him. Begins considering marriage with Jim. Jim with Uncle Rudy’s help convinces her to take a chance on marriage.
HINT & REVEAL: as above (TP1)
TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Ellie and Jim make arrangements for the wedding at Uncle Rudy’s Marriage Barn, then argue over inviting Ely to the wedding (Rudy says he’ll spoil it and Jim agrees) and they call the marriage off.
MAJOR REVEAL BETWEEN ELLIE & JIM (revealed earlier to the audience): their opposing goals and commitments.
ACT 3: Ellie, heart-broken about losing Jim, is willing to go back to Jim, but she overhears Mack mentioning that it was all a bet with Jim re Ellie as a sex conquest. Once that’s dispelled, Ellie is finally willing to go along with Jim’s obligation to work for his Uncle Fred and marry Jim. They want to take it slow this time to make sure; they plan the wedding months later, end of January before mid-Feb when Marriage Barn has an opening.
FALSE REVEALS that turn Ellie and Jim against each other: Ellie thinks she has mild mild autism (why she wouldn’t go for Gecko), but Jim thinks Ellie is not going back to Gecko; Ellie overhears Mack saying Jim was only interested in Ellie as a sexual conquest. TRUE REVEALS of their love for each other get them back together.
TURNING POINT 3: Ellie loses her zest for life and call to climate activism due to Jim’s obligation and she hates big cities like Houston. However, she is learning to cope with denialist Fred (she’s maturing) and to understand that marriage is based on commitment, adjustment, and sacrifice, not feelings (as Rudy taught her). [[add some Russian drudgery music here??]]
ACT 4 CLIMAX: When the freeze and power-cut threatens to spoil their wedding, Ellie bucks up, comes back to life, and dares to get Uncle Ely to have the wedding at his off-the-grid farm, knowing there will be conflict and problems with Uncle Rudy and especially with Uncle Fred, and the whole thing may blow up, but she knows it will work now.
RESOLUTION: Ellie is able to help all three uncles change and get along, and she and Jim finally get married.
=============================================
PROTAGONIST’S (JIM’S) STRUCTURE
BEGINNING: Jim jokingly tells friend Mack he wants to “save that turtle” Ellie; he’s sexually attracted to her — unspoken understanding (on Mack’s part) that it’s about a sexual conquest. Jim has been a carefree playboy up to this point, but knows he’s obligated to work for his Uncle Fred’s oil engineering consultancy after his MBA (revealed to the audience before TP1).
SURFACE: Jim a regular guy interested in the babes, seems carefree. DEEPER: Jim is weary of meaningless relationships, wants to start a family, and is obligated to his Uncle Fred to work for him after college.
INCITING INCIDENT: Jim kisses Ellie, gets her to feel something for him. He’s more into her now. Jokingly asks her to be his shell.
SURFACE: it seems Jim may still only be interested in Ellie as a sexual conquest. DEEPER/REVEAL: after finding out she’s Rev. Rudy’s niece, he’s more committed to a marital relationship to her.
TURNING POINT 1: Jim finds out Ellie is Rev. Rudy’s niece, decides he needs to marry her to help him “weather” his obligation to his Uncle Fred (he feels he needs her protection/help/saving); he assures his mom it’s not one of his “flings.” He even takes Ellie’s stupid compatibility test to assure Ellie he’s right for her.
REVEAL: as above.
ACT 2: Jim proposes, Ellie considers.
TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Ellie and Jim argue over inviting Ely to the wedding and call the marriage off.
REVEAL to each other: their opposing goals and commitments make marriage impossible.
ACT 3: Jim truly loves Ellie, but decides it would be too much of a sacrifice for her to go along with his obligation to his Uncle Fred.
SURFACE: Jim seems to emotionally dump Ellie. DEEPER: He truly loves her now, but is willing to sacrifice his happiness with her in marriage to her better interests (she would not be able to adjust to Houston or his obligation to Uncle Fred).
TURNING POINT 3: Jim accepts Ellie back, but wants to take it slowly this time, give her an out, introduce her to his horrible Uncle Fred (his compatibility test).
FALSE REVEALS that turn Ellie and Jim against each other: Ellie thinks she has mild mild autism (why she wouldn’t go for Gecko), but Jim thinks Ellie is not going back to Gecko; Ellie overhears Mack saying Jim was only interested in Ellie as a sexual conquest. TRUE REVEALS of their love for each other get them back together.
ACT 4 CLIMAX: Jim goes along with Ellie’s effort to change the wedding venue to Ely’s farm, knowing the whole thing will finally blow up and split them forever. He has lost all hope, just as Ellie has gained it for the 1<sup>st</sup> time in her life.
RESOLUTION: He with Ellie’s prompting and her new strength of character are finally able to convince the three uncles to go along with their marriage and plans.
===============================================
ANTAGONIST’S (ELY’S) STRUCTURE
BEGINNING: Decades earlier before Ely’s story relating to this movie starts Ely (Ellie’s great-uncle) had a big fight with Fred (Jim’s uncle) over climate change and environmental issues — Ely being concerned, Fred being a denialist. And Fred stole Ely’s love away from him. It’s what made Ely a bitter, grouchy recluse into alt energy and even against having students come to see his off-the-grid farm. ((Not sure if this is just backstory that is revealed later or the start of Ely’s journey in this movie like Noah Cross’s 10 year earlier journey in CHINATOWN.))
Or, the beginning could be a year before Ellie’s journey when she came with a large group of Environmental Club students to his off-the-grid farm and they messed up the place. In Ellie’s Act 1 Ely refuses to have students visit this year. However, he wants Ellie to help with his project of spreading the news about his alt energy inventions and off-the-grid farm, but without revealing his location.
INCITING INCIDENT: Ely finally agrees to host a student trip to his farm in exchange for Ellie agreeing to help him with his alt energy projects and take over once he passes.
SURFACE: Ely is willing to have students visit his farm & have Ellie make his project more public. DEEPER: He wants Ellie with him as a “daughter” in his lonely recluse life.
TURNING POINT 1: When the students, including Jim, come he gets very angry hearing Jim’s last name is Higson, until Jim cools him off by saying he’s not Fred Higson’s son… only a distant relative (Jim’s true connection and obligation remains hidden from Ely, but audience knows of this foreboding problem between Ely and Fred).
SURFACE: He’s trying to be polite to outsiders for Ellie’s sake. DEEPER: he hates them, especially Jim because he’s a Higson and a threat to taking Ellie away from him.
ACT 2: Ely tries to convince Ellie not to think about marriage, a doomed enterprise, and to come work for him.
SURFACE/DEEPER: as above.
TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Ely is ecstatic that Ellie has cancelled the wedding and stood up for him against Jim and Rudy; he consoles her, becoming a bit more compassionate.
ACT 3: Ely is crestfallen that Ellie is getting back with Jim, but starts to think it might work out well, since Jim could also take part in his project, knowing something about alt energy engineering (Ely doesn’t yet know about Jim’s commitment to Fred).
TURNING POINT 3: Ely very reluctantly accepts having Ellie’s wedding in his barn. He’s opening up to the world, the world of hurt and problems.
ACT 4 CLIMAX: During the wedding preparations at his farm he and Fred blow up at each other, but then get into alt energy discussions and business opportunities… nearly derailing (losing focus of) the wedding. He finds out his great love also left Fred high and dry once she found out Fred had tricked her about Ely.
REVEAL: it is not just ideological differences between Ely and Fred, but Fred’s dastardly deed of stealing Ely’s love, Sarah. Fred reveals that Sarah divorced him within 2 years, and happily married someone else, leaving Fred heart-broken.
RESOLUTION: Ely overcomes his bitterness and forgives Fred and they both bless the wedding.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Lynn Vincentnathan.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by
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Module 4, Lesson 2 – The Deeper Layer
Subject: Rob Ingalls’ Deeper Layer
MY VISION: To be a Talented writer that delivers quality fast, with the film industry seeking me out.
WIL: Ensure your characters are the right ones for this high concept.
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Deeper Layer:
Simon never should have been named Top Thief at Academy. Simon cheated final exam project. Simon is insecure despite accolades.
Major Reveal:
He cheated on Senior Project, (similar to Capt Kirk and the Star Trek Kobayashi Maru test). Some might say he used his brain to win.
Influences Surface Story:
Simon is a fish-out-of-water with heists. He’s always figured out a way for others to steal for him, never doing it himself.
Hints:
Simon struggles to do a simple heist and we wonder why. Simon is scared. He’s insecure.
Changes Reality:
Simon never should have been named Top Thief. This award should have gone to Harris.
====================================
OUTLINE
BEGINNING / OPENING ACT
Thieves steal various items: Jewelry, cars, gold bars, cryptocurrency, airplanes, etc. We learn they are doing final exam Senior Project
in various fields for GRAND HEIST ACADEMY prior to graduation.
Harris Blackwood, Instructor at Grand Heist Academy, walks daily past glass case of Top Thief trophy with Simon’s name on it. There’s pain
because he feels he should have won.
Simon arrogantly teases Harris, rubs it in that he won and Harris came in second. But Simon holds a deep secret.
INCITING INCIDENT
Simon, a former graduate and TOP THIEF (only person to win their version of the Kobayashi maru (aka Star Trek) challenge,
arrives to give commencement speech at graduation. He tells them it’s also time for him to retire. The class president, with student backing,
challenges Simon to one last heist: Steal the gold of a large sitting statue without getting caught and without the owner (museum)
knowing, even after it has been stolen.
Simon hesitates, makes excuses as to why he shouldn’t do the challenge.
TURNING POINT-1
Harris double dog dares Simon to accept the student’s challenge. Harris is determined to block Simon from achieving challenge and to prove
to school that he’s better at this than Simon, and that he (Harris) should have won trophy.
After some back and forth (and accusations of ‘chicken’), Simon finally agrees to the challenge.
ACT-2
Simon tries textbook approaches to steal the gold but fails. Simon appears to be a fish-out-of-water with heist challenge. He makes feeble
attempts and flails/fails. Old ways don’t work. He tries to have a crane remove statue but too large, even with David Blain magic help
(hide an elephant). For every approach BY Simon, Harris uses a counterapproach to deter Simon.
TURNING POINT-2 / MIDPOINT
The entire 1st half of movie is a Con. And Antagonist (Harris) has turned up the heat to cause problems.
Harris turns up the heat to defeat Simon. And we realize that Simon is a fraud. He sucks at heist jobs.
ACT-3
Simon rethinks and creates new plan. He has insights into why old ways don’t work and that HE must change. New plan: Tunnel underneath and
hollow out statue, keeping the frame intact and no one suspects inner gold stolen.
Simon begins tunnel. Harris sweats, thinking that Simon may have solved.
TURNING POINT-3
Harris contacts local police and FBI. Gets Simon arrested for tunneling and human trafficking/drug mule, BUT NOT Gold heist. So, Simon is
still in the running to win challenge.
Harris hears for first time Simon stating that he shouldn’t have been top thief, that he cheated on final project like the Star Trek Kobayashi
Maru. But still Harris does not get recognition from school like he wants.
ACT-4 CLIMAX
Simon completes the assignment challenge with flying colors. Simon solves the challenge despite the basic problems and the traps that
Harris put forth.
RESOLUTION
Simon is STILL Top Thief but acknowledges that Harris should be considered top thief of previous graduating class. Harris gets his trophy
in the glass case. Harris is given the Top Thief trophy (and Simon ‘s name removed) that he displays in academy’s main hallway. Harris has
recognition that he’s always wanted.
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David’s Deeper Layers!
My vision is to increase skills to become an A list writer
What I leaned from this assignment is the value of creating deeper meaning- subtext- than what’s on the surface.
Surface Layer: Chas pretends to be doctor
Deeper Layer: Chas lies to everyone, including himself. He doubles down on his weakness/fault
Major Reveal: Keith captures Chas, exposing him as a fraud in front of Christie and her family/friends.
Influences Surface Story: Keith forces Chas to call parents and tell them the truth about his debts
Hints: There’s a bunch of times that Chas nearly gets busted: RJ’s name on magazine, photo of girl on fridge, questioned by real doctor, etc.
Changes Reality: Chas finally grows up, faces truth, decides to finally get his life together
Beginning: Unemployed, living on messy boat, deep in debt.
Inciting Incident: Meets Christie after donating sperm.
Turning Point 1: Embarrassed, he pretends to be a doctor
Act 2: Borrows his friend’s apartment and car, goes with ruse
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Christie’s falling in love with him- he’s in too deep
Act 3: Visits children’s hospital; He’s wracked with guilt. Starts studying medical books.
Turning Point 3: Breaks up with Christie- too afraid to tell her the truth
Act 4 Climax: Reconnects with Christie, but Keith ties him up and makes him confess the truth
Resolution: He goes back home to work for his dad and pay off his debt. He plans to go to med school in SF and be with Christie.
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Amy’s Deeper Layer!
Vision: I want to become known as an expert in the family-friendly genre and make a full-time living as a screenwriter.
What I learned from doing this assignment is the deeper layers make the story more interesting.
Stephanie
Surface Layer: Stephanie is trying to adjust to life as a commoner.
Deeper Layer: Stephanie has no intention of accepting that she’s not a princess
Major Reveal: The detective she hired reveals in front of everyone that it is true that Stephanie’s family is not part of the royal line. Stephanie falls apart and reveals that she never intended to accept that she wasn’t a princess
Influences Surface Story: Stephanie lost her father as a teenager. He father always instilled upon her to never let anyone take from her what’s rightfully hers.
Hints: Stephanie gives up too easily when she fails at being a commoner. She often needs to make a phone call or be somewhere else and won’t tell anyone why.
Changes Reality: Stephanie hasn’t really been trying to adjust to life as a commoner.
Beginning: Stephanie’s family hosts a royal masquerade ball.
Inciting Incident: Historian informs the family that they are not royals
Turning Point 1: The news gets out that Stephanie’s family is not really royal. The country is in chaos. Stephanie must accept help from Prince Jack who she hates from the country next door.
Act 2: Stephanie tries to learn how to be a commoner by doing common things like going shopping.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: After Stephanie is properly exposed to the public, news reporters peg her as a horrible person
Act 3: Stephanie’s eyes are opened to all the suffering in her kingdom and she decides to use her fame to help people. She sets out to help an orphanage.
Turning Point 3: Stephanie gets caught up in all the attention. It becomes painfully obvious to everyone that she was not doing “good” for the right reasons. She’s rejected by everyone, including Jack.
Act 4 Climax: Stephanie swallows her pride and helps the homeless woman who is the real princess.
Resolution: Stephanie gets Jack back. She gets a cushy job.
Jack
Surface Layer: Jack is helping Stephanie adjust to being a commoner.
Deeper Layer: Jack wants to make Stephanie fall in love with him to prove that he can and he’s also helping her because he knows she hates him and he wants something to hold over her head.
Major Reveal: Jack accidently lets it slip that he’s in love with Stephanie
Influences Surface Story: Jack’s is deliberately going against his father (who he has a dysfunctional relationship with) to help Stephanie.
Hints: Jack seems to sincerely want to help Stephanie even though he is putting on a show of being annoyed by her.
Changes Reality: Jack earnestly wants to help Stephanie overcome her predicament and wants what’s best for her
Beginning: Jack attends the royal masquerade ball and hides behind a mask and woos Stephanie.
Inciting Incident: He finds out about Stephanie’s predicament and approaches her about helping her, even though he knows she hates him.
Turning Point 1: Stephanie agrees to let him help her. His father, the king of their country, doesn’t want him to get involved. He decides to try to make Stephanie fall in love with him just to see if he can.
Act 2: Jack who is really comfortable with commoners sets out to help Stephanie become a commoner while letting him stay at his castle.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Jack realizes he actually has feelings for Stephanie and accidently lets it slip out. Jack’s father forbids him from helping Stephanie anymore. He helps Stephanie in secret.
Act 3: Jack sets out to win Stephanie over for real.
Turning Point 3: Jack rejects Stephanie after he realizes she was only helping the orphanage to make a good name for herself.
Act 4 Climax: Jack stands up to his father and decides to go after Stephanie.
Resolution: Jack is reunited with Stephanie.
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Joel Stern Deeper Layer!
Module 4 Lesson 2
My Vision: To write eight screenplays that become Hollywood
blockbusters (and to get a speaking line in at least one).What I learned from this assignment:
Surface Layer: Jim “Ace” McCarthy is a recently returned
WW II Medal of Honor winner enduring the challenges of civilian life
and his new job as a TV crime reporter in 1950’s Las Vegas.Deeper Layer: Jim’s heroic act was actually a heinous
war crime and his suppression of the event is causing him major
problems.Major Reveal: Revealed in Act 4 when Carol Newhouse –
a local newspaper reporter and later his love interest (who’s
really an undercover FBI Agent investigating Jim’s alleged war
crime) discovers the truth and confronts him.Influences Surface Story: Jim’s guilt has a major effect on
his mental health and his ability to distinguish between what’s real
and what isn’t.Hints: WW II flashbacks.
Changes Reality: After sympathizing with Jim the
All American war hero – a “good guy” – we now see him in a
much different light.Protagonist: Jim “Ace” McCarthy
Opening: Steps off train, a WW II Medal of Honor winner at
war’s end. Rejoins his loving wife (high school sweetheart) and
young child. We see a quick shot of an alcohol flask in his
gear.Inciting Incident: Gets prestigious job as TV Crime Reporter
in Las Vegas. He wants to be the next the next Edward R. Murrow.Turning Point 1: Wife dies suddenly from cancer.
Act 2: Jim takes a disciplined rational approach to her
death, suppressing deep sorrow in the process.Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Wife’s death, her medical bills,
his shady wartime past and pressure of covering murder stories
turns him to a heavy drinking gambler. Big gambling debt
results in threatening phone calls from a powerful local crime
boss. Jim is told he has ten days to pay or the murder victim’s in
his news reports will be family.Act 3: Befriends Carol Newhouse, an undercover FBI agent
posing as a Las Vegas newspaper reporter. He wants her to help
him find and expose the mobster (she’s really investigating his
possible war crimes in Germany).Turning Point 3: Jim fails to pay his debt by the deadline.
He covers a murder story and the The victim is his brother.Act 4 Climax: Jim gets endless phone calls from mobster (we
never see him) at all hours driving him insane! Carol discovers
Jim really did committ war crimes and was not a war hero. Jim
is sent to another crime scene and the victim is a second
family member. He’s arrested for
murdering them. Carol confront him about his war crime and
those killed in his news reports.Resolution: The mobster calling Jim really died twenty five
years ago. The calls were imagined but the mobster was a friend
of his dad when he was a child. He stuck in Jim’s subconscious.
A deep investigation into Jim’s possible war crimes prove they
were unintentional. Jim – hospitalized – is allowed to
keep his medal but is sent to a psychiatric hospital for the
insane. -
Renee’s Deeper Layers
My Vision: I will work hard to become a well-respected writer who gets my movies produced and has enough work to keep me busy and keep the lights on.
What I learned from doing this assignment is a deeper layer to my story. I wasn’t sure what I wanted the deeper layer to be but when I started reading the assignment the deeper layer just came to me. Having a deeper layer makes the story more interesting and influences how the characters act and react to the action around them.
Surface Layer: Claire is trying to rescue her niece from the creature in the mountains.
Surface Layer: Mark wants to find the creature and bring it back alive.
Deeper Layer: The niece is really Claire’s daughter. Her sister adopted her because Claire couldn’t take care of her due to her partying and drug use.
Deeper Layer: Marc’s brother was killed by the creature and Mark is now bent on revenge.
Major Reveal: During the climax she tells Mark she will not let him sacrifice her daughter.
Major Reveal: During the climax he tells Claire why he wants the creature alive.
Influences Surface Story: Claire is reluctant to help on the search and rescue mission because she is hung over. When she sees her sister at the command center she has mixed emotions, she hates her sister for taking away her daughter and cutting off contact with her, but loves her for making sure her daughter has a good life. When she finds out it is her daughter that is missing she takes the lead and is relentless in her pursuit of the creature. She will stop at nothing to rescue her daughter even killing Mark.
Influences Surface Story: He gives three of the search and rescue team members instructions to bring the creature back alive. When two men go missing/are killed, and the third has a change of heart he goes up to the mountain himself.
Hints: When she discovers it’s her daughter she gets emotional. She mentions a past trauma that resulted in her getting pregnant and having to put the daughter up for adoption. When she confronts Mark during the climax.
Changes Reality: Finding out that its her daughter changes how we view her actions through the movie.
Act 1:
Opening: A young girl is taken by a creature while camping in the mountains with her family. Intercut with Claire partying.
Inciting Incident: She is reluctant to help on the search and rescue mission even though it is court ordered. She finds out her niece is the missing girl.
Surface Layer: Claire is trying to rescue her niece from the creature in the mountains.
Deeper Layer: The missing girl is actually Claire’s daughter who her sister gained custody of because of Claire’s drug use and partying. She hasn’t had contact with her sister or seen her daughter in six years.
Hint: she becomes overly emotional about her missing niece. Yells at her sister for letting it happen.
Turning Point 1: The team splits up into groups of two and searches the area in a grid pattern. One of the team members wanders a bit too far and is taken by the creature.
Influences the Story: after the second team member is taken, the rest of the group wants to turn back. Claire won’t let them.
Hint: She shares a bit of her past trauma with Adam and Lexi (triangle character, former best friend)
Turning Point 2: It’s revealed that they are to take the creature alive, even if it means letting the missing girl die.
Turning Point 3: Claire finds her daughter hurt and scared in a cave. The creature is there. Mark shows up.
Climax: Claire confronts Mark. She must kill the creature and ends up killing Mark.
Influences the Story: she is willing to kill Mark to save her daughter.
Major Reveal: Claire reveals the girl is her daughter. Marc reveals the creature killed his brother.
Resolution: Claire and her daughter make it back down and reconciles with her sister. Mark’s body is brought down.
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MODULE FOUR LESSON TWO
FRAN’S DEEPER LAYERS
MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.
WHAT I LEARNED: Same. Just keep plugging away. Just let your inner self work on the writing and keep studying, learning. Learn wherever your whimsy takes you! Make if a kind of mental field trip.
HIGH CONCEPT: The discovery of an old diary written by a friend of Czar Nicholas II’s daughter turns the doomed princess’s little known, tragic love story into a blockbuster Hollywood movie and an Oscar for its discoverer and screenwriter.
SURFACE LAYER: Meredith is having marital problems. She tries to work with her husband on their film together, but she’s not good enough in his eyes. Her work’s not good enough. He tells her he’s going to fire her and get a new writer, if she doesn’t conform to his ways, to his demands, what HE wants.
DEEPER LAYER: Jerome is a bully. But he has his own insecurities. He lays all his problems on Meredith’s shoulders without telling her what’s really bothering him. He’s having big financial problems with the people who’s footing the bills for their film. And the filming’s taking way too long, off scheduld, over budget. He’s arguing with them. And they’re telling him if he doesn’t get it done soon, they’re going to pull the plug on him.
He’s also having affairs with his leading ladies. Young leading ladies. He’s in the middle of a midlife crisis as well.
MAJOR REVEAL: Meredith is seeking a new writing assignment. When she gets it, she finds she’s going to be working for an old flame of hers who loved her idea for her new script. And he’s an old rival of Jerome’s.
Her daughter Alexandra, supports her mother’s move to leave the project and Jerome. She knows about her father’s affairs.
INFLUENCES SURFACE STORY: Jerome learning of Meredith’s new work and who’s behind it makes him jealous, spurs him on to try to win Meredith back while still trying to sabotage her work.
HINTS: Her story of Grand Duchess Olga gives us hints about Meredith’s personal life and loves, her inner feelings. The expensive string of pearls Jerome buys for their daughter is a major hint about the story, too. About how lavish he is on some things and too frugal on others. And how he treats Meredith.
CHANGES REALITY: Reality is changed when Meredith moves on and strikes out on her own. She takes a job with an old flame and her work is critically acclaimed, nominated for an Oscar and wins best screenplay for her work. She is highly sought after now as a writer and she no longer has to rely on Jerome for validation.
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Marcus’ Deeper Layer!
My Vision: I have well-founded confidence that what I write is excellent and will be acknowledged as excellent by everyone who reads it.
This assignment teaches the value of a deeper layer and how to add it in, or where to look for it. In my case, the deeper layer was already there.
Movie Title: “Beyond the Faded Trail”
Surface Layer: Carpenters go to an abandoned town in search of salvageable lumber to save a builder’s business.
Deeper Layer: A criminal gang uses the abandoned town as a hideout. One of the carpenters is a former member of this gang and has engineered the entire expedition in order to get back at his former associate and get his girlfriend back.
Major Reveal: Happens at (Barnet’s) turning point three. Castle admits that he’s the outlaw Holland Whitaker or it is revealed during his fight with Rickey.
Influences Surface Story: Everything Castle does in town is based on his goal of getting back to Justice with a “gang” of his own. His Act 3 happens during Barnet’s Act 1.
Hints: Castle doesn’t hire experienced carpenters to work for Barnet, but all the men he hires happen to be expert gunmen.
Changes Reality: Although Barnet and his men feel like they’ve been tricked by Whitaker, Whitaker has been preparing them all for this fight all along, even Barnet. The payoff for the men will be the reward money for Rickey, which Barnet will give to the men as a bonus and the lumber for Barnet who now takes his business more seriously.
Protagonist: Jake Barnet
Beginning: In a burgeoning new town trying to get business as a building contractor.
Inciting Incident: Barnet’s building supplies (lumber) are destroyed in a mysterious fire which also damages the building under construction. The customer is angry with Barnet, who has no further source of wood, threatens to go to Barnet’s competitor and demands his money back.
Turning Point 1: Barnet decides to skip town. Castle convinces him that they can correct the whole situation and even come out ahead if they go to his secret source of lumber – a ghost town. Castle reveals that he knows of some abandoned treasure in the ghost town appealing to Barnet’s apparent greed. He is desperate to get Barnet to go along or his whole scheme falls apart.
Act 2: Barnet, Castle and their men embark on the journey to the ghost town, Justice, to salvage lumber. Along the way, Barnet gains the respect of his men by showing his hidden skills at shooting and horseback riding and knife fighting.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: First night in Justice, Barnet finds out (probably from Billy) that it was Castle who burned the lumber. He is angry but avoids direct confrontation with Castle about it. Instead, they talk about why Castle didn’t run for mayor of their town. Castle admits who he is. They spot Rickey’s gang on its way into town, unexpectedly.
Act 3: Rickey’s gang comes into town. Barnet has all his men hide.
Turning Point 3: Castle admits to the men who he is (Whitaker). He privately tells Barnet where the gang hides its considerable loot. He goes out to confront Rickey. Now, Barnet has to decide whether to lead his men into battle or to run and hide. The men look to him for leadership, which he is capable of but reluctant to do.
Act 4 Climax: Seeing Castle/Whitaker gunned down in the street and his men starting an erratic gunfight causes Barnet to take action. He chases Rickey up an alley and they have a fight which Barnet wins using all his skills. He captures Rickey and hangs him.
Resolution: Returns to town with lumber and the body of a wanted criminal. Settles into his business as a contractor with loyal hard-working men. He never reveals the existence of the treasure.
Triangle: Isaac Castle aka Holland Whitaker
Beginning: Mayor of a town called Justice. He and the Sheriff, Lucien Rickey, make a deal with the railroad to come through Justice.
Inciting Incident: The railroad reneges on the deal and changes its route.
Turning Point 1: The town dies and there is an exodus.
Act 2: Rickey wants to get revenge on the railroad and puts together a gang to rob its payroll shipments. Whitaker is unsure this is a good way to go, but his girlfriend, Adelaide, convinces him to give it a try.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Rickey, the gang leader, and Whitaker, have a falling out. Whitaker tries to convince the men that what they are doing it wrong. They’re making too much money and won’t listen to reason. Even Adelaide sides with Rickey. Whitaker leaves the now empty town plotting revenge on Rickey and Adelaide.
Act 3: Whitaker shaves, puts on glasses and a new hat and assumes a new identity, Isaac Castle. He takes up residence in a new town where his skills as a carpenter get him a foreman job. His plan comes together and he hires all experienced gunmen to work for him as carpenters.
Turning Point 3: He secretly burns his boss’ (Jake Barnet’s) lumber, as well as the structure under construction, then tells Jake about Justice where they can go to get more. There they confront Rickey’s gang. Whitaker’s deception is revealed at this point and his men all see him differently now. Will they fight for him after this deception?
Act 4 Climax: Whitaker confronts Rickey and accidently kills Adelaide, starting a gunfight with Rickey’s gang.
Resolution: Whitaker is gunned down by Rickey.
Antagonist: Lucien Rickey
Beginning: Law and order Sheriff of a town called Justice. He and the Mayor, Holland Whitaker, make a deal with the railroad to come through Justice.
Inciting Incident: The railroad reneges on the deal and changes its route.
Turning Point 1: The town dies and there is an exodus.
Act 2: Rickey decides to get revenge on the railroad. He puts together a gang to rob its payroll shipments and convinces the mayor to go along. Rickey is smart about how he leads his gang and they are very successful.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: During his falling out with Whitaker, he seduces Adelaide, who has come to see him as a real man and Whitaker as an indecisive coward.
Act 3: Rickey guns down Whitaker. Adelaide runs to Whitaker, rejecting Rickey and seeing him for what he is, a selfish, power-hungry crook.
Turning Point 3: A gunfight breaks out between Rickey’s gang and Barnet’s men.
Act 4 Climax: Barnet and a few others sneak around the back of the saloon and flank Rickey. Rickey makes a run for it and Barnet chases him down. They fight and rickey loses. Barnet takes him prisoner then hangs him.
Resolution: Rickey hangs from the gallows he built and for which the town had been named.
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to add more depth to a story, by adding an additional layer of character background and motivation.
Surface Layer: Special Agent Rick O’Brien
and his new partner Sean Gray, are assigned to find and bring the
mastermind behind terrorist attacks occurring through the country to justice.· Deeper Layer: The deeper layer is that Sean Gray is the terrorist.
· Major Reveal: The big reveal is at the end of the story, when Rick figures out Sean is the one behind the terrorist attacks.
· Influences Surface Story: Sean helps Rick with their investigation on the surface, but in reality, he’s always leading them away just enough, to prevent Rick from connecting the dots back to him.
· Hints: Sean is always the first to investigate one of the bombing sites, due to them being up on the 20<sup>th</sup> floor of a skyscraper, and Rick hates heights. This gives Sean ample time to plant or alter evidence so that it points away from him being the bomber.
· Changes Reality: When it’s revealed that Sean is the bomber, we the story shift from two dedicate FBI agents trying to bring a madman to justice, to it really being one agent trying to save lives while the bomber was working along side him the whole time.
Rick O’Brien’s Character Journey Structure
Beginning: Rick’s partner and the
hostage they’re trying to save are killed in the attempt. <div>Inciting Incident: 6 months later, a
woman emerges from a skyscraper and a massive explosion goes off at the 20<sup style=”font-family: inherit;”>th</sup>
floor. Her face shimmers, and a mask falls on the ground, revealing a
different face. The woman looks around in bewilderment and runs off.Turning Point 1: Two more buildings
are bombed in different cities, by people that were wearing masks that
controlled their minds, and Rick is assigned to find out who’s behind the
attacks with his new partner, Sean Gray.Act 2: Rick and Sean travel to where
the bombings occurred, in the hope of finding the mastermind that’s
carrying them out.Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Rick and
Sean find and arrest the perpetrator and the bombings stop.Act 3: Rick and Sean get an
anonymous message that says they captured a copycat, and that the attacks
are far from over.Turning Point 3: A new wave of
bombings, more than before, occur, and Rick and Sean desperately search
for who’s behind them all.Act 4 Climax: Rick discovers that
Sean is behind the bombings. Rick pursues and tracks him down, and they
have an epic fight on the roof of a mall.Resolution: Sean tries to kill Rick,
but Rick prevails, and Sean is killed in the process. The country is safe
once more.<div>
Sean Gray’s Character Journey Structure
Beginning: Sean holds a woman
hostage. Rick and his current partner try to rescue her. Sean kills the woman
and Rick’s partner, his identity is not known, as he escapes without being
captured. </div>Inciting Incident: Sean sends a
package to a random address that contains a mask that will control the
mind of the person once they take a look at it, as well as a bomb for them
to plant in a building. Soon after, the first bombing occurs, Sean
prepares a video message that he sends to the FBI, outlining why the
bombings are happening, and that there will be more to come.Turning Point 1: Emboldened by his
success, Sean sends out two more packages, this time to different cities,
and his plans again prove to be successful. He sends a second video
message, gloating over the bombings, and once again stating that there
will be even more coming, and in greater numbers. Sean is assigned to be
Rick O’Brien’s new partner after the second series of bombings.Act 2: Rick and Sean investigate the
second series of bombings, and Sean is invaluable in helping figure out
how the masks found at each scene connect to the bombings. He also plants
evidence at each scene unbeknownst to Rick, and then finds it, to help
build a case against an innocent man.Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Rick and
Sean capture a man that Sean’s fake evidence seems to point to him being
the bomber. For a time the bombings stop.Act 3: Sean sends another video
message, telling the FBI that they caught the wrong man, and that there
will be a whole slew of bombings comings up, and that there’s nothing they
can do to stop them.Turning Point 3: As Sean predicts,
numerous bombings are successfully carried out throughout the country, and
he and Rick are on a manhunt to try and bring the bomber to justice.Act 4 Climax: Rick discovers that
Sean is behind the bombings. Rick pursues and tracks him down, and they
have an epic fight on the roof of a mall.Resolution: Sean tries to kill Rick,
but Rick prevails, and Sean is killed in the process. The country is safe
once more.</div>
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Bice-Stephens’s Deeper Layers
2022 is my year to break through!
What I learned—I love this process!
Surface Layer-Brandy and Alex are desperate to have their own families—Brandy because her’s was taken away and Alex because he never thought he had a “real” one.
Deeper Layer—Brandy uses a baby to manipulate and guilt trip Alex into not walking away from his baby, but in reality she never slept with Alex and his supposed baby is kidnapped.
Major Reveal-At the ER, “Baby Dearest Jack” is discovered to be a missing infant girl.
Influences Surface Story-Alex could never understand why his mother gave him away. Brandy found her mother murdered by her dad and she refused to accept her death.
Hints-Brandy has a beautiful baby nursery with two empty-looking doll cradles she talks to. She also gets DSHS child support for two unseen children. Alex has never gotten over being bullied for being “different “ and a judge’s son. Jacob stepped up as his protector at a young age and still has his back now.
Changes Reality-Discovering that Brandy still cares for her lost babies and takes them to meet her dead mother in Detroit after she loses the baby she kidnapped. Finding out Alex was the biological son of his adopted father who had an affair with his young clerk, Alex’s biological mother, who is now a lawyer and can finally be in his life since his powerful father died.
Protagonist-Alex
Beginning-Alex runs into an old classmate, Brandy, he barely remembers. She gives him her number, wants him to call her.
Inciting Incident-Alex breaks up with his girlfriend, gets drunk and has a one night stand with Brandy.
Turning Point 1-Alex gets back with his girlfriend when they find out she’s pregnant. Blocks all contact with Brandy.
Act 2-Alex starts building a great life with his girlfriend. They plan their wedding.
Turning Point 2/Midpoint-Alex learns Brandy just had a baby boy and says he’s the only possible father. When his girlfriend hears this, she leaves with their new baby girl.
Act 3-Alex goes to Brandy’s to visit his son like a dutiful father, but keeps passing out there. She keeps trying to entice him. He rejects her over and over.
Turning Point 3-Alex goes with Brandy to take Jack to the ER when he gets very sick. She dumps them there, leaving Alex with the kidnapped baby.
Act 4/Climax-Alex is arrested for kidnapping and breaking into Brandy’s apartment. She lies her way out of everything.
Resolution-Alex sits helplessly in jail. An unknown lady lawyer comes to help him. It’s his biological mother.
Antagonist Brandy
Beginning-Brandy is angry to the point of madness. She wants a husband and baby.
Inciting Incident-Brandy runs into Alex, who she used to idolize. Comes onto him.
Turning Point 1-Brandy offers to take Alex home when he gets drunk. They spend the night together.
Act 2-Brandy is furious when Alex blocks contact with him. She starts plotting revenge.
Turning Point 2/Midpoint-Brandy fakes a pregnancy and kidnaps a baby to fulfill her motherhood.
Act 3-Brandy tries desperately to manipulate Alex into being with her and son Jack. He fiends her away and wants only his real girlfriend, which infuriates Brandy.
Turning Point 3-Brandy drugs Alex, plots his death. If she can’t have him, no one else can either.
Act 4 /Climax-Brandy gets Alex to go the hospital with her and the sick baby. She dumps them there, so he will take the fall for kidnapping the infant.
Resolution-Alex is arrested and Brandy lies her way out. She gets on a plane and starts flirting with the guy seated next to her. She has met her next victim.
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Dave Holloway’s Deeper Layer
My vision: I would like to be a successful writer in Hollywood, with a number of successful movies to my credit that put forward a core belief about environmental, political, or personal development.
What I learned doing this assignment is that discovering the deeper layer and letting it influence the story before finally revealing it enables me to lend depth and interest to the story and ensure that the deeper level is present through the screenplay, even before it is fully revealed.
Surface Layer
Nigel and his friend, Roger, must journey across North America, now divided into independent states, to rescue Nigel’s wife, Livia, who has been imprisoned in a military state, Shiloh, on a false charge of espionage.
Deeper Layer
An incident in Nigel’s past has always bothered him and made him doubt his courage. He is uncomfortable with adventure and violence and knows that if his courage fails him at any moment during their adventure and causes him to fail to rescue Livia, he will never be able to forgive himself.
Major Reveal
When Nigel and Roger get to Shiloh, there is a moment when Nigel must completely overcome his fear and risk his life to save Livia. He says something to Roger before this moment, indicating that if he fails to summon the nerve at this crucial point, the rest of his life will be worthless.
Influences surface story
Nigel and Roger get mixed up in a gun battle between Native Americans and hunters. The prospect frightens Nigel, and he would rather avoid becoming involved. But he remains on the scene as the battle begins and takes place, even though Roger gives him a chance to leave by saying he understands Nigel didn’t come across to North America to get in a gun battle. Nigel replies “I’d look pretty sheepish backing out now.” In the subsequent fight, he is shot, the bullet passing through his forearm, but survives and gains confidence as a result. Not long after, he helps Roger subdue a police guard in another state where they’re being imprisoned, thus helping them escape and continue to Shiloh.
Hints
Early in their journey across North America, in an unguarded moment, Nigel tells the story of the incident that made him question his courage. He recounts it in an offhand way that conceals how deeply the incident still bothers him.
Changes reality
When Nigel risks his life at the end to save Livia, we see that his quest has been not only to free her, but to free himself from the shame of the earlier incident.
Beginning: Nigel reveals to Roger the incident that still haunts him.
Inciting incident: on SKYPE call with Livia, Nigel sees her arrested by authorities of military state.f
Turning point 1: Nigel determines he’ll go to the military state to try to free Livia, and Roger volunteers to go with him
Act 2: The two fly to Los Angeles to try to rescue Livia.
Turning point 2: During the flight, the pilot announces the states along the East Coast have declared their air space inviolate, and they will land in New York. They’ll have to travel across the continent overland.
Midpoint: They begin to travel across the continent and encounter danger and resistance several times.
Act 3: the plane they’re flying across the state of El Dorado in develops mechanical problems, forcing them to land. They’re imprisoned in the state, delaying their arrival in the military state.
Turning Point 3: Nigel helps Roger overcome a prison guard and render him unconscious, enabling them to escape El Dorado with the pilot of their plane, Amelia, and continue to the military state.
Act 4: They continue on to the military state and struggle to reach its capital, where Livia is held.
Climax: At the capital, they devise and execute a daring plan to free her. Nigel kills the sadistic prison warden, and the four of them, with the pilot, escape and return to England.
Resolution: Nigel has overcome the past incident that haunted him and become more comfortable with action and adventure.
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JOE’S DEEPER LAYERS:
My vision is to persevere and stay the course of building steady daily routine, and disciplines that produce consistent writing of exceptional quality. Ultimately, the fruit of those habits and disciplines will be a track record of great marketable scripts that will make other successful talented pros seek me out.
What I learned: Wow, going that extra mile by creating TWO separate protagonist/antagonist structures for both Rom-Com leads was really significant in making this outline thingy fit the vision in my head for this film! What a great thing to really help deliver this script from the looming “another formulated cliche rom-com” fate I fear! I’ve already gone back twice and refined both of them. I can’t wait to use this tool for the previous rom-com script I wrote last year. That script has been sitting in limbo, waiting for me to get back to work on it.
Surface Layer: Emily and Lorenzo are individually pouring everything they got into making their seperate small businesses work independently while occupying the same building. They both think the other one is a threat to their business’ success in some way.
Deeper Layer: When working together to fight the landlord, they are actually laying the foundation for becoming soulmates.
Major Reveal: Emily discovers that the Landlord is two-faced and has been lying to her about Lorenzo and the elevator. She must team up with him. When she eats his homemade soup, it meets a deep need/desire she realizes she’s been neglecting and she starts falling for him. He realizes he’s falling for her…. WHEN? Definitley later somewhere… Somehow she meets another need/desire of his that he’s been neglecting… recreational companionship? sex?
Influences Surface Story – When they reluctantly start working together to fight the landlord, they discover that the other one has a key strength that they lack (Emily is excellent with her promotional/marketing talents, but lacks basic business managment sense. Lorenzo is excellent at the nuts and bolts of a brick and mortar store and balancing budgets, but doesn’t know how to market himself. (Both deliver excellent product that attracts people, but that’s not enough for a business to succeed).
Hints: All their customers can see how they would be great for each other, but Lorenzo doesn’t see it and Emily is in denial about it. We see individual scenes of each of them being masters of their craft, so we see how much they have in common in that sense. We also see the void in their lives as they “sacrifice” their personal happiness for their studio; on a daily level, so we are aware that they both have this deep psychological need for intimate physical and emotional companionship that is getting neglected.
Changes Reality: After Lorenzo leaves, and a new owner takes over the pizza shop, the void is extremely apparent to Emily. She wants Lorenzo back and decides to track him down and try to convince him to come back and buy a building with her.
EMILY’S JOURNEY:
Beginning: Emily’s partner bails on her. She decides to sign the lease all on her own. Landlord warns her about Lorenzo and his main clientele: the punk teenagers that hang out in front of his store. She believes him and tries to avoid him at all costs.
Inciting Incident: Elevator breaks down and students cancel lesson (one of them has a phobia of the rickety steps)
Turning Point 1: Emily gets hurt coming down steps. Lorenzo takes care of her, feeding her his special homemade soup, meeting two big neglected needs of hers. The subtext is thick with Emily’s denial of her new feelings. Lorenzo is smart, but he’s so used to praises for his soup, he doesn’t pick up on it, despite how obvious it is to the audience. (Also, Emily doesn’t WANT it to be true because she still believes what the Landlord told her about him.)
Act 2: Emily forced to reconcile with who’s fault the elevator is: Lorenzo or the Landlord.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: They start to work together for the good of both their businesses. Lorenzo says to trust him that the landlord is the problem. She’s not sure who to trust, so is more skeptical, but is still going forward with Lorenzo’s plans. In her mind, she is “testing” the landlord, but she’s also testing Lorenzo at the same time.
Act 3: Lorenzo is justified. Landlord is clearly defined as two-faced and is clearly the problem. (overcharging them, not fixing the elevator, lying to them).
Turning Point 3: Lorenzo goes to profess his love to Emily, but he takes the elevator, but the punk kids trap him in it and rob him. he decides to get out of the business and go to Italy to decompress and visit with his dying uncle. He might stay there.
Act 4 Climax: Emily goes to Italy to track him down and profess her love to him and convince him to go into debt and buy the building with her, but instead, he convinces her to stay in Italy. Despite her devotion to her students, just once she allows herself this Cinderella fantasy and they get married and live in Italy indefinitely.
Resolution: Turns out that since they got married, Lorenzo’s dying uncle leaves them all the money they need to buy the building, so they return to America together and turn the building into their dream home/art center/dance studio/italian Trattorio.
LORENZO’S JOURNEY:
Beginning: Lorenzo has battles with Landlord overcharging him, but Lorenzo calls him on his BS every time, so they don’t like each other from the getgo.
Inciting Incident: Emily moves in. Lorenzo knows how the landlord treats young entrepeneurs, but also thinks she’s stuck up, so he believes she wont last long.
Turning Point 1: Lorenzo is impressed with Emily’s persistance/spirit. He doesn’t care so much that she blames him, but to keep the peace, and in an effor to see justice done, he comes up with a plan to prove the landlord is the bad guy, and not him… IF Emily will listen to him.
Act 2: Emily sees that Lorenzo was right about Landlord and ends up really helping to create change where Lorenzo’s fighting with him over the years proved fruitless. Lorenzos feelings for Emily as a “partner” really blossom.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Lorenzo realizes he’s in love, and decides to profess his feeelings for her, but gets stuck in the elevator and gets robbed. He realizes how much of his happiness he’s been sacrificing for that place, and decides to let it go.
Act 3: He’s in Italy now, with his family. He’s happy, but still single, but there’s lots of options with local italian women. But then, guess who shows up and wants him to return to America.
Act 4 Climax: He debates going back to America… But he offers for Emily to stay in Italy instead… So she does…
Resolution: but then Uncle dies, and leaves them lots of money, so they go back to America and buy the building. Lorenzo turns the pizza joint into an upscale Trattorio.
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My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
The High Concept: A relationship challenged crime reporter discovers she’s stuck on an island with the fugitive who killed her in a past life.
What I learned doing this assignment is that my structure is a work in progress and it is still not there yet.
Protagonist: Freya
Surface Layer: Freya is troubled by her platonic marriage, she escapes to give herself time to think.
Beginning: Freya has just miscarried. Marriage is in shambles. Drawn to a deserted island to find answers.
Inciting Incident: She’s given a deadline to commit to her marriage or husband will leave her. She travels to an uninhabited island to figure out her marriage, and research a mystery >> get back in the saddle of work.
Turning Point 1: Freya isn’t alone on the island > someone (Noah) is stalking her.
Hints: Freya has dreams of drowning and we believe this is due to a childhood fear of water… but in fact, they are dreams of how she died in her past life.
Deeper Layer: Freya is the incarnation of Lisbeth, a woman who was murdered.
Act 2: Freya commits to solving the mystery, and sticking it out.
Turning Point 2/Midpoint: Noah confronts Freya and traps her in his home “for her one good.”
Act 3: Noah reveals his belief about who she is – Lisbeth.
Turning Point 3: Freya tries to escape from Noah, wakes up tied to her bed as the waters rise from the impending storm outside her door.
Influences Surface Story: Because he is a soul, Noah knows Freya is the reincarnation of Lisbeth… but it is unclear how much she remembers. He tries to deter her from looking within and remembering the truth – scares her, stalks her, lies to her and holds her hostage.
Act 4 Climax: Freya uses her skills to befriend Noah and convince him that she is in love with him and that they should escape the island to survive the storm and be together.
Major Reveal: At the climax when Freya and Noah flee the island to survive the storm, Freya pieces together that Noah killed her in a past life because she recognizes him from her past life dreams.
Resolution: Freya wakes up washed ashore, no sign of Noah or no sign he ever existed. She sees Noah in an obituary picture, she seeks resolution with her existing husband knowing life is eternal and she will be with her soulmate in another life.
Changes Reality: We see the story is a love story. Freya trying to find her soulmate (who she had in a previous lifetime) and now that she knows he exists, although not in this lifetime, she can repair the damage of her existing marriage.
Antagonist: Noah
Surface Layer: Noah is just the lonely caretaker on a deserted island.
Beginning: Noah has been living alone on the island for 30 years, hiding from mainlanders and possible conviction for murder. He’s been a fugitive.
Inciting incident: (Noah sees Freya on a news program, recognizes the amulet she wears, tracks her down and sends a postcard enticing her to visit the island)
Turning Point 1: Noah watches Freya disembark on the island and knows it is Lisbeth. His goal > scare her off the island before she learns/reveals the truth.
Act 2: Noah spies/stalks Freya. Tries to scare her off the island before he learns the truth. His actions cause her to question her own reality.
Influences Surface Story: Noah “haunts” Freya and appears in places that no human could. No one on the mainland has ever seen Noah and there are rumors the old house on the island is haunted.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Noah confronts Freya, threatens what she knows, mentally manipulates her by lying about who he is.
HInts: When Noah is alone, and we see the world from his perspective, his surroundings are what they once were (30 years ago), but Freya sees them as they are now – dusty, unkempt with furniture covered in sheets. His face is disfigured (from the fire he died in)
Act 3: Noah reveals who Freya is. They have a connection, he becomes violent.
Turning Point 3: Freya tries to escape the island w/o him. He captures her, ties to her bed as an outside storm is building, waters are rising.
4th Act Climax: They set out for the mainland together. He realizes Freya doesn’t love him and knows the truth about the murders. He tries to kill her but they both go overboard.
Deeper Layer: Noah is Lisbeth’s killer, that has been unable to pass over until he fulfills his contract in this life > to help Freya find the will to live.
Major Reveal: After Freya is rescued and their is no sign of Noah ever being with her, she is shown an obituary photograph of a man that died years ago. It is Noah, he’s been dead and was interacting with Freya as a spirit.
Resolution: Noah sees that Freya has found her will to live. This was his purpose in this life, and now that it is complete, he is able to pass over to the otherside. Noah never existed in human form.
Changes Reality: It’s a love story about unrequited love for Noah… his love for Lisbeth … so some of his actions seem justified.
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Alan’s Deeper Layers
My Vision:
I do whatever it takes for me to be a true wordsmith that spins wildly original and entertaining screenplays that are passionately sought out by top industry professionals who turn them into critically and publicly acclaimed major motion pictures distributed by the top studios in Hollywood, all while writing from wherever I may be leisurely traveling the world at the moment.
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What I learned: All about adding deeper layers to my screenplay: intentionally!
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Title: Ninja Burgers
Genre: Action/Comedy
Concept: A down on his luck, nineteen-year-old fast food employee finds a high tech bracelet that turns him into the world’s deadliest super soldier.
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Deeper Layers
Surface Layer: A clumsy kid with a big dream works at a fast food place and finds a cool bracelet in the trash. / Addison Grant wants out of her terrible life and will do anything to achieve this dream.
Deeper Layer: The bracelet is a piece of future high tech that turns him into a super soldier. / She will provide the future tech bracelet to the bad guys in order for a huge payment and a new identity.
Major Reveal: When “Good Guy” Addison Grant shows up and makes the offer to Tiberius to join the test subject group or lose his arm. / In the end when Addison shows up it is revealed that she provided the initial prototype and then set up the entire team to deliver the prototypes to the bad guys in exchange for money and a new identity.
Influences Surface Story: Totally changes his life and brings him deep into the fish out of water phase. / Gets a lot of people killed and sets Tiberius off on his need for revenge.
Hints: Tiberius can suddenly do cool stuff on his bike ride home. Instantly gains a level of confidence. / Addison is incredibly unhappy that Tiberius has the bracelet. Not excited at all that he managed to retrieve a missing item. Addison sends the group into the location that gets them all killed. Tiberius only misses out on getting killed because he was zonked out after sex with Washington.
Changes Reality: Becomes a super soldier who now has the power to stop an evil organization. / Addison doesn’t get her freedom. She dies as part of Tiberius’ revenge.
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Erin Ziccarelli’s Deeper Layer!
Vision: I am going to create meaningful scripts that leave audiences remembering my movies and leave me excited to keep writing and moving up in the industry.
What I learned from doing this assignment is: the places to put a deeper layer. This is something I have struggled with on previous scripts – I wasn’t sure how early/late to plant and reveal the deeper layer. This assignment takes away a lot of the confusion!
As we did above with The Sixth Sense, create each piece of this “Deeper Layer” puzzle.
Surface Layer: Alex is receiving
help from Roger. A social worker helping a former inmate to transition
back to regular life. <div>Deeper Layer: Roger was part of a
rival family and is helping Alex.Major Reveal: Roger’s story
comes out right before Alex is ready to take up his place as leader of the
family business.Influences Surface Story: Alex trying
to find out what Roger did to go to prison, Scarlett’s constant suspicion
of Alex and the way he runs his shop.Hints: Roger’s many references
to how a person’s past doesn’t determine their future, his reluctance to
talk about why he went to jail, his constant help to Scarlett.Changes Reality: Alex’s definition
of family changes and he realizes who the real enemy is. He faces his worst
fear.Protagonist: Alex Donovan
Beginning: Alex’s loyalty
to the Donovan family and other South Enders. He will sacrifice himself
for them. </div>Inciting Incident:
Alex has been abandoned for quite some time. Roger visits him and tell him
about the inheritance – he is shocked that a rival family member would help
him.Turning Point 1: Alex
accepts the money. He does so because he’s angry with his people. They
betrayed him, so he doesn’t mind betraying them.Act 2: Alex takes it
a step further – he hires Scarlett. “Fraternizing” with the enemy.Turning Point 2 /
Midpoint: Alex receives an offer to come home, but he turns it down.Act 3: Alex’s old
friends burn the business to the ground. Roger still hasn’t revealed his
past. Scarlett finds out about Alex and leaves.Turning Point 3:
Alex’s “all is lost” moment – he returns to the family. Roger can’t let it
continue – he’s finally pushed to reveal his past.Act 4 Climax: Alex’s
belief is reaffirmed. He takes a stand before both sides. Everything comes
up. Richard’s death.
Resolution: Alex
makes his peace with Scarlett.<div>
Antagonist: Scarlett Brennan
Beginning: Scarlett
is moving through life. Everything in her is focused on her “side business.”
In desperate need of money. </div><div>Inciting Incident:
Scarlett meets Alex. Suspicious of his last name, but knows that if he was
one of them, she’d recognize him. He’s just another customer at the DMV.Turning Point 1: Alex
hires her. She accepts – she has nothing to lose.Act 2: Continues
to keep her role in the family business a secret. Alex presses her, but
she won’t tell him.Turning Point 2 /
Midpoint: Scarlett moving forward on the side business. Feeling Joe’s
pressure to accept his proposal.Act 3: Scarlett’s
admiration for Will comes out.Turning Point 3: Scarlett
finds out about Alex’s identity. Makes a deal with Richard, gambling that
it will earn his trust.Act 4 Climax: Richard
and Joe betray Scarlett. She is saved by Roger.
Resolution: Scarlett
accepts Alex.Triangle: Roger Tate
Beginning: Roger
mysteriously shows up – we know he’s from Boston and now lives in Chicago. </div>Inciting Incident:
Roger meets Alex. Tells him about the inheritance.Turning Point 1: Roger
observing Alex. Learning more about him.Act 2: Feeling
pressed by Alex to reveal his past – he won’t do it. Alex guesses that he
was once in prison. Roger doesn’t tell him why.Turning Point 2 /
Midpoint: Roger’s “investigation” pays off – he finds out that Alex is
Scarlett’s father.Act 3: Roger
struggles with the knowledge that Alex doesn’t know he has – when the business
is burned to the ground, he presses Alex once again. Alex won’t give in.Turning Point 3: Roger
knows Alex has fallen back into the old ways. He decides – return to the North.
Reveals his identity to Alex.Act 4 Climax:
Roger wants Alex and Scarlett to join him in Chicago.
Resolution: Roger leaves
the city. Finally at peace with his past.
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