Day 2 Assignments

[Ron Horton]

Subject Line: Ron Horton’s Marketable Components for “Charley’s River”

I learned there is a lot to think about when deciding what to throw at a potential buyer. This is a great lesson for getting the juices flowing.
(I also learned you have to mark a lesson complete at the bottom in order to move on… 😉 )

Log Line: What would a young, very successful, financial broker have to give up in order to live the life of his dreams? Could it be… Life Itself?

A: Unique – In college Charlie was a thrill seeker. Mountain climbing, hang gliding, but his true love was white water rafting. He tosses his seven-figure career aside to be a guide on the Colorado River. His only regret was leaving a potential love back in Chicago. Chance has her book a rafting trip with her burley cop, boyfriend. Over the course of a week Charley’s dream becomes more real. Before either of them acknowledges their feelings, Charley is saving her life, only to become trapped under the river. It’s her turn to save him. In the end their love becomes eternal, in the most real way. They have to die to truly find each other, and live on.

B: Great Title? “Charley’s River” creates mystery. Who can own a river?

C: Loosely based on a true story.

E: It’s a first? To die for love and go on to fulfil the dream?

F: Ultimate: 12-foot standing waves and non-stop white-water action, for many has been the ultimate thrill, and for others a fascination in the least.

G: Wide Audience Appeal? Who wouldn’t like to be able to chuck everything to fulfill their dream?

H: Similarity to a box-office success? Scenes similar to “The River Wild”.

J: A great role for a bankable actor? Charley is a day-dreaming adventurer, trapped in a business suit, without a companion, and restricted by an ailing father. He’s quick on wit, and very appealing to his clients. His great looks gets the attention of one of the client’s female personnel. When he finally makes his break, he is still torn by guilt. How is his dad going to survive without him. His wonder of, what if he had just asked her out. Trying to keep an old girlfriend at bay.

I’d say A, E, G & J are the most promising. If I have to just pick two, it would be A and J. And if I had to pick just one, it would be A as it gives definition to J as well.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Ron Horton.

[Sky Canyon]

Subject Line: Sky Canyon’s Marketable Components for The Millionaire Monk

LOGLINE: When a deliberate bad tip crashes the career and marriage of a self-professed Wall Street Guru, life conspires to land him in a Tibetan monastery where he struggles to find inner peace, teaches the monks to trade the market, and faces a life or death ultimatum when he attempts to save China from environmental disaster.

Two components with most potential are in BOLD. However, there are perhaps more than two with good potential here:

A. Unique = High Concept – the logline always elicits a strong, positive reaction.

B. Great Title – drives intrigue

C. True. N/A

D. Timely — connected to some major trend or event. Tibet and China are always an issue of struggle, and China is dealing with major environmental challenges – this is a good element for timeliness.

E. It’s a first. Wall street guy teaches the monks to trade the market – ALWAYS gets a laugh and interest.

F. Ultimate. N/A

G. Wide audience appeal. Probably not a teenage market, but otherwise hits the feel-good, heartwarming, budding romance, dramatic comedy market.

H. Adapted from a popular book. N/A

I. Similarity to a box-office success. Not specifically another movie.

J. A great role for a bankable actor. Was written for Jim Carrey originally as the lead, he’s likely too old now, but would work for any of several A-List actors. I’ve had fellow writers comment, in a positive way, “this seems like a Jim Carrey movie” just from reading it. It combines a strong dramatic tone for the lead, but adds the physical and dialogue humor to move it along and engage the audience even further.

Brainstorm – elevate the two components:

Unique – High Concept – I have found that sharing the logline tends to get a positive, engaging response. I think I would start with that as a mini-pitch, and wait for a comeback from a producer.

Great role – I can show how the lead character transforms from an obnoxious self-important jerk to a man of true service to humanity, and that the comedic elements of his character help to both emphasize his transformation and give us an engaging, fun experience as the audience.

What I learned doing this assignment is: Being aware of these elements and how to think even more about what makes this, and any script, marketable. What already makes this script stand out, and which of these elements create an opportunity for enhancement.

[Tracy Lawson]

Tracy’s Marketable Components for REVOLUTIONARY ANNA

What I learned doing this assignment: I learned that many of the compelling elements of my screenplay are interrelated.

Logline: On a mission of mercy to Valley Forge, Anna is recruited as a spy—and now she holds the fate of the Revolution in her hands. Can she avoid capture and deliver a message to General Washington in time?

A. Unique. A
never-before-told story of a not-famous woman’s role in America’s fight
for independence.

B. Great Title:
Revolutionary Anna

C. True: Based
on a true story.

D. Timely: The 250th
anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence is in 2026.

E. It’s a first:
A Revolutionary War film with a female protagonist. She is not a pawn or a
foil. She is the lead.

F. Ultimate.

G. Wide audience
appeal. This is not a retelling of a story that once starred a man. It is
not a “girl power” story that devolves into man-hating. It is based on the
true story of a female American patriot. Anna is a self-educated 18^th
century woman who, while concerned with many of the same things as modern
viewers, is not incorrectly portrayed as a 21^st century
social-justice warrior.

H. Adapted from
a popular book. It is adapted from my book Answering Liberty’s Call.

I. Similarity to
a box-office success.

J. A great role
for a bankable actor. Anna is a competent wife, mother, and healer, secure
in her 18^th century domestic sphere. When the need arises, she
steps into a the man’s world of war and politics, where she travels alone, sometimes in men’s clothing,
learns spy craft on the job, and repeatedly outwits the man sent to steal
the message she carries. Anna’s grit, her determination to hold her family
together, her fierce love and devotion for her preacher-turned-soldier
husband, and her willingness to sacrifice for the cause of American
independence, make her a compelling role for a young actress.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Tracy Lawson.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Tracy Lawson.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Tracy Lawson.

[Steven Weber]

Steven A. Weber’s Marketable Components

Log Line: A ruthless Nazi commandant loses his memory at the end of World War II and seeks to begin a new life with the Jewish woman he loves; however, he will ultimately face the truth and consequences of his past.

Two components with the most marketability:

A. Unique – There have been many other stories in which a person loses their memory and becomes a different person as a result, but none, to the best of my knowledge, involving a young, ruthless Nazi captain during and immediately after World War II.

B. Great Title – What is good about the title “Conflicted” is that it is applicable not only to the main characters but to the audience as well.

C. True – The story itself is fictitious, but it references actual events (not just World War II and the Holocaust generally, but more specifically the Buchenwald death march and the Dachau trials).

D. Timely – Stories involving World War II, the Holocaust, Nazism and anti-Semitism never seem to go out of style.

E. It’s a first – As far as I know, there has never been a story about an SS officer who loses his memory and believes himself to be a Jewish refugee, and then falls in love with and marries a Jewish woman, who is also unaware of his true identity.

F. Ultimate – The film has a battle scene, a romance and a courtroom scene.

G. Wide audience appeal – Tragic love stories and courtroom dramas are always popular.

H. Adapted from a popular book – N/A

I. Similarity to a box-office
success – Regarding Henry, another film dealing with a man who loses his memory and becomes a better person as a result, did well at the box office.

J. A great role for a
bankable actor – The lead role could be played by Adam Driver.

Brainstorm: The main theme of this story is how the protagonist’s memory loss causes a good personality to emerge as a result, how this redeems the evil personality, and how the revelation of the former personality creates an emotional conflict in the latter. If I can pitch this story in a way that emphasizes the uniqueness and originality of the story and also alludes to this theme, I believe this could be a powerful hook.

What I learned doing this assignment: My story may be more marketable than I previously though so long as I follow this process.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Steven Weber.

[Lisa Molenda]

I love this concept. I want to see it.

[Marian]

Marian’s Marketable Components for “Wetsands”

What I learned doing this assignment is, that I already had a good idea of what is marketable in my project, but focusing on the categories and brainstorming helped to improve the pitch.

Logline: A mudflat crossing in the North Sea becomes a deadly trap for sisters Hannah and Tessa when they get lost and the tide comes in unexpectedly. “Wetsands” is a dramatic survival thriller set in the breathtaking nature of the German vacation paradise North Sea, based on true events.

A. Unique: A vacation paradise that everyone loves; deadly dangers that no one knows of. A High-Concept pitch in a commercial genre that thrives on variations of the deadly environment. Immediately creates images in the mind and interest in the listener.

B. Great Title – apt and mysterious, is well received by test subjects; so far, the best choice.

C. True. Based on real events, I grew up on the North Sea and know the area and the tidal flats, as well as its dangers first hand.

D. Timely – Themes and characters make it contemporary; moreover, the struggle for survival, while timeless, is gaining renewed relevance due to the dangers and fears present in the current world situation.

E. It’s a first. The dangers of the tidal flats and the North Sea have never been shown like this before and in this genre.

F. Ultimate. There is always something ultimate about the live and death struggle for survival.

G. Wide audience appeal. N/A, aimed for YA.

H. Adapted from a popular book. N/A

I. Similarity to a box-office success. There are quite a few comparable survival thrillers that are all very successful, starting with “Open Water,” “127 Hours,” “Frozen” and ending with “Cast Away” and “The Revenant.”

J. A great role for a bankable actor/ actress: Gripping action in a fascinating setting in a genre of particular interest to young actresses. „YA-Stars” are in their twenties, so they are usually not stars for an extremely broad audience but they are for the target group.

Brainstorm – elevate the two components:

Unique and True – While brainstorming point A, I wrote: A vacation paradise that everyone loves, deadly dangers that no one knows of. I can imagine it’s a good “tagline” when I pitch the project. It sums up the essence well imho. Overall, I feel that the second sentence in the logline meets the marketable component pretty good. I may add: “never seen before”. The true events and my personal experiences add credibility and urgency to the pitch. I will reinforce this by recounting incidents at pitches as well as showing photos and newspaper reports in the promo materials. Elevated logline, second sentence: “Wetsands is a dramatic, never seen before survival thriller set in the breathtaking nature of the German vacation paradise North Sea, based on true events.”

Comparables (Similarity to a box-office success) – I added major motion pictures like “Cast Away” and “The Revenant” to my list of comps, broadening the pitch and target group.

[Danielle Dillard]

What I learned is about marketing components to make my script interesting and stand out to a potential buyer. Out of the 10 components listed in the lesson, the 2 I choose are Timely and Great Role for a Bankable Character. Since my story is about a wealthy socialite, this theme is timely especially during this time of inflation. And it’s a great role for an actor who can deliver the character arc. The actor can be a newcomer or an established actor.

[Rodney Cavin]

Rod’s Marketable Components
I think this script is bests marketed with Uniqueness, and Ultimate. I’ve re-written the logline to emphasis these points.

Logline (revised): Left to die, rescued by a man she’s about to trust with her life until she learns he could be more dangerous than the psychopathic killer she’s running from who suddenly attacks, determined to kill them both.

Unique – The twists and turns creating doubts about the rescuer, the truthfulness of the victim, or the exact problem until it’s revealed then explodes into the final life and death conflict.
Title: – Seems to reveal the genre and story easily.
True: – N/A
Timely: – Set now, appealing for its lower budget considerations, otherwise N/A.
It’s a first: – N/A
Ultimate: – Her life is on the line, and later, her rescuer’s.
Wide audience appeal: – It’s in a genre that the large segment of the ticket buyers attend.
Adapted from a popular book: – N/A.
Similarity to a box-office success: – Its different from most current low budget contained scripts so I’m not sure there’s a comparison.
A great role for a bankable actor: – N/A.

The logline – pitch – has been re-written to bring these two components forward, but will continue to strengthen it without it becoming a paragraph. The expanded pitch could mention the imbedded love story development which brings the leads to a trust/support relationship but the story could survive without it.

The threat of death is pretty ultimate and is pushed stronger as the audience learns more about the antagonist.

[Jeryl Parade]

Jeryl Parade Marketing Components

What I learned doing this assignment: While I have loglines for all 6 of my Web series episodes, I do not have one logline for My 90s as a 1/2 hour show.

Logline: TBD (I will fill this in with my next edit.)

Marketing Concepts: The two I am choosing to elevate are in bold.

A. Unique. I do not know of any shows that look back at 90s from the perspective of a post pandemic world.

B. Great Title. My 90s. What makes it great: Succinct. Visual. Clear the series takes place in the 90s (what is now referred to as The Last Decade). “My” implies the story is personal & intimate.

C. True. Based on my own 1990s.

D. Timely. Reported in W Magazine there is a longing for a less plugged-in world.

E. It’s a first. N/A

F. Ultimate. N/A

G. Wide audience appeal. Members of GenX came of age in the 90s & comprise a fast growing consumer group of streaming TV.

H. Adapted from a popular book. N/A

I. Similarity to a box-office success. The series protagonist is in my mind a cross between the iconic 90s female TV characters of Ally McBeal & Amanda Woodward (of Melrose Place).

J. A great role for a bankable actor. The lead role of Crystal is perfect for an actress who wants also to sing.

Brainstorm

In the age of Big Tech there is a longing for a less plugged-in world. The GenZ trend of Cottagecore is an example of this. Post pandemic GenX is nostalgic for the cool music & fashion of the 90s. The series protagonist is Crystal who is a cross between 2 of the most iconic female TV characters of the 1990s: Ally McBeal because of her quirkiness & dating disasters & Amanda Woodward of Melrose Place because of her intelligence & ambition.

[Lisa Molenda]

Lisa Molenda’s Marketable Components in Jane The Vegan

What I learned during this assignment is how to identify and organize the biggest selling points of my script. I have been aware of these components but never took the time to write them all down and try to elevate the most important aspects. I think this will benefit me when I go to pitch.

1. Logline: Jane, a vegan activist and biomedical research phD candidate gets turned into a vampire after a terrible accident, leaving her struggling to maintain her ethics as a vegan though she has to consume blood to “live.”

2. 10 Components of Marketability- The two top elements are in bold. Would love feedback if anyone thinks something else is more of a draw than what I selected.

A. Unique. We’ve never seen a vegan as the protagonist or a vegan vampire- especially a vegan or vampire who is pursuing a career in medical science.<div>

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B. Great Title- Everyone Loves Jane The Vegan. The backup if I cannot trademark the title due to it’s similarity to Jane the Virgin is The Real Vampires of Orange County

C. True. N/A

D. Timely — Veganism is trending. Vegan influencers and celebrities are blowing up right now and going vegan is the biggest thing an individual can do to reduce their contribution to pollution on the planet, more than driving an electric car or using solar energy so its becoming more important to our survival on this planet.

E. It’s a first. I’ve never seen a vegan vampire in anything but maybe it exists.

F. Ultimate. In this world vampires are behind many of the world’s problems and scandals and the run a secret organization similar to the Illuminati

G. Wide audience appeal- teens and young adults are the fastest growing population of vegan and they love vampire movies. It’s also a comedy which tends to be a draw for all audiences though it would be too dark for children.

H. Adapted from a popular book. N/A

I. Similarity to a box-office success. Similar to What We Do in the Shadows which had a budget of $1.6 million and has made $7million. The TV version polls well with audiences of all ages averaging above 8.0 on IMDB across all demographics except under 18 women though I believe it is because it’s a male dominated cast.

J. A great role for a bankable actor. I want Lizzo to play the lead. It would be a great role for her and would make the character like nothing we’ve seen in this style of movie. She isn’t well-known as an actor but she is very popular and has produced a successful reality show and has other things in the works as well she has a first look deal with Amazon.

3. Do a quick brainstorm session about ways to elevate those two components for this script and tell us how you might pitch the script through the two components.

***will edit later need to sleep on it**

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[Brenda Noonan]

Brenda Noonan Marketable Components

4. What I learned doing this assignment is that I hadn’t thought about any of the components that would make my script more marketable. I just had the basic storyline down, the characters, how the murder occurred, who the suspects are, and how the murder is solved. And now I have a few ideas about making my script better.

1. Current logline: When American mystery writer Jane Hatcher lands a spot at an exlusive UK mystery writing workshop, the murder of the lead instructor pits Jane against a sarcastic UK detective in a bid to solve the murder before the villain strikes again.

2. G. The mystery is one of the most popular genres and appeals to all ages.

I. The idea is similar to “Knives Out.”

3. To increase wide audience appeal: The protagonists are in their late 20s/early 30s, so that would appeal to a young audience. The other characters could be of different ages, with quirky personalities. (My original idea was to have the protagonists be in their 40s.)

To make it more similar to Knives Out: The setting could be an aristrocrat’s country estate house where he allows the writers to hold the workshop every year.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Marketable Components

When her father has a heart attack, a wannabe Martha Stewart germaphobe must take over the family cleaning business and meets the love of her life, the world’s worst slob.

Components:

Unique, Title and also similar to box office success

What I learned: Look for the marketability first, then write with that in mind.

[LEE SKORE]

Lee Skore’s Marketable Components for TELLING LIES

(4) What I learned doing this assignment is:

Choosing the components that provide the highest marketability is challenging. Trusting that I can make the right choices for my script is daunting, especially since I haven’t done this before.

(1) Current logline:

A Nantucket woman’s recurring nightmares turn out to be repressed memories of her parents’ murders, but now someone wants to kill her too, and the only way she survives is if she and the sheriff solve the mystery of her past.

(2) B – Great Title ; G – Wide Audience Appeal ; A – Unique (possibly)

(3) Brainstorm to elevate components:

Title: The title has more than one meaning. “Telling” lies are clues to the mystery of the main character’s past. “Telling lies” are statements made by all the characters — some statements are true, some are not — the audience has to decide which are which so they can figure out the film’s mystery and the murderer.

Audience Appeal: The film is a mystery, a favorite genre of mine and many others. There are two main characters, a Nantucket woman in her late-20s and a former SEAL (sheriff) in his mid-30s. They work very closely together, develop feelings for each other, which would appeal to both female and male audiences.

Unique: The film is set on Nantucket Island, a location rarely used. I understand why, but when I visited there years ago it touched my soul like no other place and I have always wanted to set a film there.

[Seth Kuhn]

Seth Kuhn’s Marketable Components

Logline: A young couple fight to save their marriage by only loving each other on Fridays. No more, no less. When the week ends, the love begins.

Marketable Components:

• A. Unique = High Concept — I think the premise is high concept, a young couple only loving each other on Fridays. <div><div>
• B. A Great Title — I think “Friday, We’re in Love” is pretty strong. Used to be Friday, I’m in Love, but adding the “We’re” is much better given the concept. As I’ve been adding more politics to the script, it may make sense to switch the title to “Tuesday, We’re in Love” as elections are always on Tuesdays.
• E. It’s a first. — Yes. (although this might be my weakest hook.)
• G. Wide Audience Appeal – $62M married couples in the US in 2020. ~2M every year. Every 42 seconds there is one divorce in America
• I. Similarity to a box-office success:
  • The Break Up – $52M Budget, $118M US & CA (2.26x), $205M Worldwide (3.94x)
  • How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days – $50M Budget, $105M US & CA (2x), $177M Worldwide (3.54x)
  • This is 40 – $35M Budget, 67M US & CA (2x), $88M Gross (2.5x)
  • Date Night – $55M Budget, $98M US & CA (2x), $152M Gross Worldwide (2.76x)
• J. A great role for a bankable actor — I think I could do better with this, especially with the female lead. Male actors would be attracted to the male lead, but I could make the initial description better.

Doing this assignment, I learned that there are 10 specific types of business hooks that your script must have. Your scrip will be stronger in some types more than others, but it NEEDS to be quite strong in at least 2-3 if it’s going to get made. It’s these items that are going to get an executive or producer to say “Yes.”

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Seth Kuhn.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Seth Kuhn.

[Ben Ather]

Subject Line: Ben’s Marketable Components

<i style=””>What I learned doing this assignment is

I now know what will sell a script. Before this lesson, I have not thought whether my script will sell or not, which puts me in a disadvantage position. It will not be the same for my future scripts because I know that they will sell.

ASSIGNMENT

Pick one or two components and tell us how your script already fulfills them AND how you might highlight these two in order to elevate the pitch.

1. Tell us your current logline.

CONCEPT: An ugly beggar girl decides to learn magic and prove her father wrong, but magic is taught only to the pretty ones.

2. Look through the 10 Components of Marketability and pick one or two that have the most potential for selling this script.

MY PICKS

A. Unique: The concept about teaching magic only to the pretty ones hasn’t been explored before.

G. Wide audience appeal: Lead character is 15-yr-old. Other main and support characters are teens.

3. Do a quick brainstorm session about ways to elevate those two components for this script and tell us how you might pitch the script through the two components.

– Underworld of Magic is about an ugly 15-yr-old beggar girl who finds out her father abandoned her because she is too ugly to learn magic and bring honour to the family. She decides to learn magic and prove her father wrong, but there is the rule that magic is taught only to the pretty ones and anyone who breaks it is executed without trial.