Day 2: What I learned rewriting my scene/character…?

[Joan Butler]

Previously, in the scene where my protagonist first opposes the killer, she and her daughter quickly obeyed his orders. In the rewrite, she stands up to him verbally, then flings food in his eyes and uses a dinner plate to smash him in the penis.

Breakthrough: When I made my protagonist more worthy, she became a more interesting character and the audience was more likely to root for her.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I first wrote another scene where Robin is hiding her need to be nonbinary from her mother. In the rewrite, Robin’s need is well known to Hope. It is now just one thing Hope must overcome before she and Robin can respect and like each other.

Insight: The more these characters must overcome, the more interesting the script.

Breakthrough: The conflict between a teen and her mother is not cliché when one of their conflicts is the teen’s need to be recognized as nonbinary.

[Robert Kerr]

Bob Kerr:

What I learned:

The need to have build up in tension and a dynamic situation to grow the conflict till the inevitable conclusion.

Insight:

In my script, I have a “Worthy Opponent ” situation that lacks build up, sustains the tension and creates the interest to hold the relationship throughout the script.

Breakthrough:

The original draft the conflict is just dropped in with no real build up. I see now how I can magnify this adversary to put more risk into the scene and more drama in the script. Put more mystery/suspense and twist at the end of the script.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Robert Kerr.

[Lynn Vincentnathan]

What I learned rewriting my scene/character:

Working on it — In my Rom-Com, it’s more like the 2 antags are the ones in conflict that causes the couple to call off their wedding several times. And they are equally matched, worthy opponents — college mates with degrees in engineering. Fred went into oil engineering, Layo went into alt energy engineering. Both equally cantankerous and they hate each other with purple passion, though they haven’t seen each other in 40 years. And the underlying wound that makes it worse — a woman Fred stole from Layo.

[Lynn Vincentnathan]

RE the GREEN BOOK, the mismatch in my script is again between the 2 Antags. While they are worthy opponents, they are totally mismatched in their lifestyles, pursuits, goals, and values. They have hated each other from afar for decades. They finally resolve their dispute and differences toward the end of the script, which it seems will allow the Protags’ wedding to go on in peace, but then their new common ground also threatens the wedding (it’s a Rom-Com, so this is for comedic effect).

[Mi Lock]

INSIGHTS/ BREAKTHROUGHS: I realized that my 2 lead characters who decide to join forces to take their revenge, befriend too easily at the end of that sequence. I think they should go back to keeping their distance after they took their revenge, until they meet again.

[Mi Lock]

After studying the GREEN BOOK scene, I realized that by having 2 characters with opposite traits who will both have to go over many obstacles together but foremost will have to go over their own pride and prejudices, the audience could recognize themselves in one of these characters and experience the character’s emotional and spiritual journey as the character grows. Our stories can really have an impact on people’s life and will hopefully help to make the world a better place.

[Ann Marie]

At first, I didn’t think I had a worthy opponent relationship, but then discovered one in my script, which on discovery, made complete sense and was quite glaring, but I hadn’t seen it like that before. – it’s not a main relationship but it was a great discovery to find it was a relationship of worthy opponents. The insights I got from watching the Tombstone scene gave my scene and dialogue focus and tools to show these two are worthy opponents (mirroring, ascerbic wit). This exercise created a new scene in my script that otherwise may not have been discovered and it turned out to be quite a pivotal scene. Great, thanks!

[Donna Stockwell]

What I learned, characters can stare at each other, call each other names, dare each other in subtext, instigate conflict with actions, and while the other character watches and listens and doesn’t make a move, conflict rises dramatically and the audience wonders what will happen next, and how much egging on one can take. There are many ways the Tombstone scene escalated the tension: direct eye contact, almost nose-to-nose dialog, non-wavering stature, name calling, showing off guns, conversing in another language… all while isolating the rest of the room, who are just as inquisitive as the audience with every word and action during the scene.