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Day 22 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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6 Replies
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Ron’s Act 4 First Scenes
What I learned writing this assignment: I’ve had my troubles locating the DILEMMA. It was comforting in the lesson to see that I could go back and build it on subsequent rewrites. Still, I haven’t “quite” put my finger on a really tough, do-or-die decision for my protagonist (yet). I’m beginning to play with the idea of a Goldilocks story – too hot, then too cold, hard to find a middle ground that works and is emotionally comfortable. That’s what I did here. Here my protagonist, who’s been all fire and fury and (to be honest) unsafe, has overreacted and let himself be more passive. That’s his attempt to fix his dilemma. But while it’s not awful, it isn’t solving the problem yet either. The solution is getting closer but it’s not here yet.
1. Key Scene 1 and 2 Outline
Key Scene 1 – Reaction to 3rd Act Turning Point
Cuccinelli overreacts to his prior hair-on-fire excess aggressiveness
He finds a barge in the night and hesitates briefly, but gets over it, and attacks with vigor but also with discipline. He doesn’t sink the barge but he’s a different skipper
Key Scene 2 – Protagonist Faces Their Dilemma
Cuccinelli faces a “Flotilla” of 4 barges
He resists the temptation to call Hoffman, and succeeds at sinking 2 of them and leaving a third still in the water. The fourth gets away. Cooch has dialed it in – he can be aggressive without sacrificing discipline.
2. Key Scene 1 – Reacting to 3rd Act Turning Point
EXT- BOAT DECK – DUSK
CUCCINELLI to LECROIX “I think I need to be more patient out here”.
LECROIX “what do you mean, skipper?”
CUCCINELLI “well, I’ve been so anxious to run up the score……………I get all wrapped up in these attacks, maybe I need to be more………….patient”.
LECROIX “you’ve got a good record, skipper, taken out one destroyer and half a dozen barges. Anybody else would be proud of your record”.
CUCCINELLI “still, I am going to try a different approach tonight”
LECROIX “whatever you say, skipper”
it’s dark now. It’s been quiet for several hours. The “golden hour” is approaching – 10pm. We’re in the strait, ~2 miles off an island, in the expected path of the barges. The engines are off again, to maximize our hearing. Lights out, we’re a ghost in the closet.
FRANCISCONI “got two at zero eight five, skipper. Making 12 knots, close to the shore. Their course 170.
CUCCINELLI “take her south, Mr Lecroix”
LECROIX “sir?”
CUCCINELLI “I want them to walk into the Oerlikon”
LECROIX “aye aye, sir!”
LECROIX plots a course to take them about 5 miles south. When they get out about 10 minutes, Cuccinelli orders a left turn to 060. He takes the boat in towards the island shore at cruise speed and stops about a mile off the island. He positions the 129 facing the oncoming barges and leaves the engines idling, mufflers on. They’re going to come right at our biggest gun. Cuccinelli orders his two best gunners Cassidy and Carter over to the Oerlikon, a 37mm gun ideal for tearing apart barges.
CUCCINELLI “Francisconi, can you see those barges?”
FRANCISCONI “yessir, looks like about a mile and a half”
CUCCINELLI “Lecroix, time this down for me”
Lecroix grabs a stopwatch and counts up. He’s calculated that it’ll be 9 minutes before the barges show up. Everybody’s ready.
3. Key Scene 2 – Protagonist Faces Their Dilemma
Out of the gloom come two barges, right on schedule, barely visible.
CUCCINELLI “light ’em up guys”
Before the words are out of his mouth, the Oerlikon gunners are accurately placing rounds into the first barge. It’s on fire by the fourth round, listing. Cuccinelli advances the throttles and makes a run past the second barge, giving the Oerlikon crew enough time to swivel the gun and take broadsides at it. It is also raked by the two twin 50 caliber guns in the mounts, taking a terrible toll on the barge and its crew. Not down yet, though.
Cuccinelli tears out into the night, trailing smoke to obscure his whereabouts. He turns out in the strait and comes directly behind the second barge, at ~20 knots. He catches up to the second barge with the Oerlikon crew ready, again. They put 5 rounds into the barge and it’s sinking.
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Carol Dougherty’s Act 4 Climax
What I learned doing this assignment: This was a real struggle for me. I’ve been wrestling with Pen’s true antagonist, and in some ways, it is definitely Kate. At the same time, it is even more herself, her fear, which makes her self-sabotage everything in an attempt to maintain control and avoid pain. That made this scene even tougher – how do I show that on the screen? I’m not sure if I’ve succeeded, but it’s a first draft, so if not, I’ll figure out how to fix it.
Outline – Key Scene 3
BEGINNING: Pen takes on Terry’s task of speaking to the entire company before the opening night.
MIDDLE: Pen acknowledges her fear and her past distance from all of them. She apologizes for her supposed indifference in the past and thanks several people as well as the company in general. She admits that she needs their support in trying to become the person Terry believed she could be.
END: She ends by thanking Kate and telling her that she loves her.
Key Scene 3:
INT. GREEN ROOM – EARLY EVENING
The green room is full, with the Private Lives cast and crew as well as the rest of the company. It’s the first opening night of the year and everyone is curious who will give the pre-show talk that Terry usually offered.
There is a low buzz of conversation around the room. As soon as Pen gets to her feet, silence falls. A number of faces are surprised, Jacky and Sandy are delighted, Sebastian is pleased, and Kate expressionless.
Pen looks around and meets the eye of every person there. Her heart is racing – this will either be a disaster or brilliant and she has no idea which.
PEN
(her voice strong)
We all know this was Terry’s job. I went to see him today to ask for his advice. He didn’t tell me a thing, the rat.
There are chuckles throughout the room. Throughout Pen’s speech, we see various people’s response to her words, as well as her efforts to say everything she needs to say.
PEN
I’m not Terry and I never will be, but I’ve learned a lot from him. I saw how he included everyone, spoke with everyone. You may have noticed that’s not exactly my strong suit, but I have come to see how important it is in keeping a company together.
Jacky listens intently and beside him Sandy smiles encouragement.
PEN
The picnic was one of my first efforts to change my way of being a member of this company, this community. And I have a confession to make.
She glances at Sebastian and Kate, standing together near the door. He is openly curious. Kate stands rigid and tense, as if bracing for whatever Pen says next.
PEN
I’m a coward.
There is a collective gasp in the room and Sebastian’s eyebrows lift.
PEN
I thought of myself as something of a lone wolf, other than with Terry, and acted as if I didn’t need anyone but him – unless occasionally I needed someone to flirt with.
She sees a few grins and shakes of the head in the crowd.
PEN
I kept you all at a distance and thought my actions had nothing to do with anyone but myself, because I didn’t want to. I was frankly afraid, because of some experiences in my past, and instead of facing those fears, I let them define me. My hope is that I can get to know all of you over these next months, and I’m sorry if any of you have felt ignored or hurt by my seeming indifference.
The stage manager gestures to Pen that they have 15 minutes to curtain. She wants to leave time for everyone’s preparations.
PEN
I also want to apologize to all of you for any havoc I may have created within the company, either through my turbulent personal life or my thoughtlessness. If I’d been more careful or aware, perhaps Laurence and Peter might still be with us.
SEBASTIAN
Unlikely.
Everyone laughs.
PEN
Sebastian, you’ve been a better friend to me than I ever knew and a better caretaker of this company. After Terry died, you showed me compassion when I had none for myself, and I will be forever grateful.
Sebastian nods his acknowledgement.
PEN
Michael, you know I’ve had my doubts and difficulties about working with you in a play that meant so much to Terry and to me. You’ve been patient and kind. Terry would be proud of the work we’ve done and what we will all do tonight.
Michael meets her gaze with eyes full of surprise and gratitude. She nods to him.
PEN
Jacky, thank you for making sure I was fed after Terry died. You took care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself – you and Sandy – and I’m deeply grateful to you both.
They smile warmly at Pen, and she returns their smile. She grips the chair back in front of her tightly.
PEN
This may not be the time or the place, but you are all my family in a way I never understood before. Right now, I need you, because I’m not sure I can do this without you.
Pen looks directly at Kate, whose face is pale, as if she knows what is coming.
PEN
Katie. ..Katie, I love you. I don’t know if it’s too late, or if you still care, but even if I’m making a total fool of myself it doesn’t matter – I owe you the truth. I love you and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to tell you.
Kate’s eyes never leave Pen’s face as she speaks. As soon as Pen is finished, Kate turns and walks out of the green room.
CUT TO:
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Gerry Cousins – Act 4 First Scenes – Lesson 21
What I learned doing this assignment
In my stage play, this is ACT II – Scene 3. It follows the surreal placement of both the writers and their characters on the same stage at the same time–Each viewing the Marfa Mystery Lights for the first time and their impressions. Since this scene is about the SID and JENNA’s’ characters, much of what we learn has relevance on the writers themselves. This entire scene is about STAY OR GO. It prefaces JENNA’s Dilemma
1) A bubbly MOLLY offers that she is going to meet TODD in Odessa, stay overnight, and then travel the next day back to NYC for a trial reunion.
Turning Point
2) RAND and GAVYN strongly object and state why. Dilemma
3) SHE tells them that what SHE learned from the lights—even the inexplicable deserves a shot—and not dealing with TODD is just postponing the inevitable. She is running away from her age and wants TODD (familiar) to be the man in her life. SHE is resolved.
4) The guys still object but are good humored about it all.
Gerry Cousins – Act 4 Climax – Lesson 22 (Previously submitted)
What I learned doing this assignment:
As you will recall, this is a straight play, not a screenplay. In the course of doing these assignments, I learned that my last scene had to be completely rewritten. Since working in this format is completely new to me, I chose the Closing Scene (rather than the Opening Scene) because I wanted to utilize this new skill with new writing without so much as a draft. Seems easier and more organized without the hassle of just sitting down to write the Scene. Word smithing is not an issue now as this is a fleshed-out skeleton. Quite a remarkable way of working.
INT. Casita at the Marfa Inn – JENNA’s BEDRROM – LATE FRIDAY AFTERNOON
Her cell phone rings, waking her from a nap. It’s husband, MARTY in DALLAS on B his way to Marfa… Tired and annoyed by him and his questions re the layout of the E casita, SHE assures him that SID has his own separate room and bath. Phone A service is terrible and THEY both have trouble with the connection. SHE tells him to turn around and go home and that they’ll be back on L.A. on Monday for a Network meeting. They hang up.
BEAT – Annoyed
Immediately SID’s cell phone rings on the night table on the other side of the bed. As JENNA reaches over, we realize SHE is naked under the sheets. It’s the Network informing the writers that the series has been renewed.
BEAT – Welcoming
SID enters the room and appears to be naked except for a towel around his waist. HE takes the call and is thrilled with the news. Congrats are in order and naked SID gets into bed with naked JENNA to make love. SHE stops him. Turning Point
BEAT – Thrilled
JENNA tells SID, SHE never set out to have sex—that it just kind of happened. Her falling asleep saved the day.
BEAT – Relief
SHE relates the call from MARTY. Both understand her Dilemma. But “we fell in love,.” Say SID and JENNNA admits to wanting to be in love with SID for a long time SHE thinks her husband already knows this or suspects and is at a loss for knowing what to do with regard to her family. Ultimate Expression of Conflict
BEAT – Explain
JENNA suggests SID call the airlines, changing their plans going home to the next day and not wait until Monday.
BEAT – Plan
SID is about to dress to go over to the Main House in order to use their hard line phone when MARTY calls again. JENNA’s in the W.C. (BEAT) HE takes the call. They briefly talk about the play and then SID asks MARTY to rebook all 3 tickets back to LAX. He goes to his room to get the particulars of their flight and to dress…
BEAT – Expedite
With SID out of the room, JENNA, exits the W.C. dressed and with her hair and make-up fixed. SHE moves to her lap top and writes a PERSONAL NOTE.
BEAT – Examine
SID enters fully dressed to go out and reports on his call with MARTY. He her to tell him what SHE’s written. SHE does. Then HE tells JENNA that he’s told MARTY that HE wants to marry her. (BEAT) SHE tells him No, but that SHE will not go back to MARTY either (BEAT) —that SHE needs to make the choice to be her own person.
BEAT- Affirm Resolution- NEW WAY
TESTS PROTAGONIST TO CORE
SID changes the subject to CRIME STOPPERS and how he can’t wait to get back in the groove.
BEAT – Move on
THEY exit the casita to tell the Inn Keepers about their early departure, have some dinner, and see the lights for the last time.
BEAT – Leave
Brief words O.S.
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What I learned doing this assignment is creating my climax scene. However, I’m still brainstorming other ways to build this scene.
Key Scene 3 Climax – Barry and Tina reunite
Six months later
Beginning: Tina is a changed woman. She’s stronger and has worked through her emotional issues. She’s more focused on her children and is counseling other women at her church.
Middle: Barry shows up at her church asking if they can get back together. He apologizes for any misunderstandings and the abuse. He explains that his friend is the one who planted the secret camera in Jayla’s toy during the time they had a barbeque, not him. Barry says he’s changed too for the better and is honest about his life.
End: Tina no longer desires Barry and dismisses a second chance with him. She forgives him yet makes it clear that she’s content with being on her own.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Six months later.
Tina, looking happier and with a kinder demeanor, humbly greets guests that come into the church. The next guest to greet is a handsome well-dressed man wearing dark shades.
TINA: Good morning, welcome to New Beginnings Church.
The man removes his shades. It’s Barry. Tina is disgusted.
BARRY: It’s been a long time.
TINA: What are you doing here, Barry?
BARRY: I’m here to make amends. Can we talk?
TINA: I’m busy –
BARRY: It’ll only take a second.
Tina and Barry step aside privately.
TINA: What?
BARRY: I miss you.
Tina is about to walk off when he grabs her arm.
TINA: You better let go of me.
Barry lets go.
BARRY: I apologize, okay, for everything. Listen, I miss your kids too. I want you to know it wasn’t me who put that camera in Jayla’s toy. It was my boy, Rick. Remember when we had that barbeque?
TINA: Yeah, and?
BARRY: Rick was there. He must have snuck off to do it. It wasn’t me, Tina.
TINA: Whatever, Barry. I have to go.
BARRY: Wait. I want a second chance. I’m so sorry for everything. I’ve changed. And I got a real job this time… at another church of all places. No lies. And I’m getting help with my anger –
TINA: I’ve changed too. And the new me doesn’t want you.
BARRY: Tina…
TINA: Look, I forgive you, but I’m over you. And I don’t want a second chance with any man right now. Goodbye, Barry.
Tina goes back to greeting guests. Upset, Barry leaves.
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M.M.’s Act 4 Climax
What I learned are the 4 steps in the Climax. I like structure and this was an easy way to expand my beat sheet into an outline and the scenes to end with a literal “bang”.
Key Scene 3: Climax – The Ultimate Expression of The Conflict
NEW SCENES: 3: Climax
INT. EMILIO/BELLA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
Bella rushes into the bedroom and locks the door. She grabs a gun from her nightstand.
She hears Emilio beating on the door in an uncontrollable rage.
She rushes into the bathroom and locks herself in.
INT. EMILIO/BELLA’S HOME, BATHROOM- NIGHT
Bella dials 9-1-1 for the police and an ambulance.
She hears Emilio beating on the bedroom door and screaming at her in a rage.
She falls to the floor and holds her stomach, bleeding. (don’t know if she lost the baby).
Bella shakily points her gun at the bathroom door as she dials Luke’s number.
When he answers she speaks faintly, in a whisper.
BELLA: Luke, he’s going to kill me…
Then she passes out.
INT. EMILIO/BELLA’S HOME – BEDROOM- NIGHT
Emilio kicks down the bedroom door and rushes to the bathroom, pounding on it and demanding that Bella come out.
INT. LUKE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Luke is on the phone.
LUKE: Bella? Bella are you there.
He hears Emilio’s threats.
INT. EMILIO/BELLA’S HOME – BEDROOM – NIGHT
EMILIO: I’ll kill you and that baby if it’s the last thing I do. You ruined my career!
Then Luke hears shouts.
POLICE: Police. Hands up! Drop the gun and the bat. Drop them now.
EXT. EMILIO/BELLA’S HOME – NIGHT
Police push Emilio into the perp backseat and they drive off.
Luke drives up after they leave, finding the house dark but the front door wide open. He enters, sees the damage, takes photos everywhere not touching anything. He leaves just as the evidence van drives up.
INT. POLICE STATION – NIGHT
Emilio is booked, fingerprinted, mug shot taken.
INT. LUKE’S CAR, MOVING – NIGHT
While driving fast, Luke calls area hospitals but they won’t tell him if she is there.
He drives to one hospital. Bella’s not there. On to the next one.
INT. POLICE STATION – NIGHT
Emilio’s family’s expensively-dressed lawyer shows up.
INT. JUDGE’S CHAMBERS – NIGHT
Emilio’s parents’ VIP status allows the lawyer to arraign him privately and get him out on $1,000,000 bail.
INT. COURTHOUSE HALL – NIGHT
The lawyer warns Emilio not to go near Bella. Emilio tunes him out. He’s got his own ideas.
INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM – NIGHT
Luke rushes in and asks for Bella Sanchez.
The night nurse at reception does not want to give any information.
LUKE: She’s all alone and her husband nearly killed her. I’m her only friend and we’re close. We’re very close.
NIGHT NURSE: How close?
LUKE: She’s moving in with me as soon as the doc gives the okay.
NIGHT NURSE: Are you related?
LUKE: She’s pregnant and all alone. She may have even lost the baby when he — Please let me go up and make sure she’s safe.
NIGHT NURSE: Room six o seven. Elevators to the right.
LUKE: Thanks so much. You may have just saved a life. Actually, two.
He catches the elevator and sprints down the hall, telling the nurse at the station he’s going to Bella’s room.
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Police detectives arrive and find Luke sitting next to Bella’s bed. She’s groggy but awake. They ask Luke to leave, then they interview Bella and ask if she wants to press charges.
At first she hesitates, then says no, but Luke steps back into the room and says she has to press charges if she wants to be safe.
The detectives make him leave again and Bella agrees to press charges.
In the hallway, Luke calls his dad. Matt and asks for the best divorce lawyer in town before Emilio’s family hires him.
Matt suggests someone and Luke arranges an appointment in the hospital for the next day.
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Luke has stayed in Bella’s room all night. He is watching the news and sees a headline that Emilio was arrested and is out on bail.
Luke pulls out his cell and makes a call.
MALE VOICE (VO): Windward Private Security. How can we make you feel safer today?
LUKE: Jake? It’s Luke Morrison. That job we talked about? It’s go-time. Send the full team to my house. Sensors, cameras, lights, plain clothes, the works. Let me know when you’re there and I’ll unlock it from my phone.
MALE VOICE: We’re on it.
The doctor walks in.
DOCTOR: I’ve got the best news. The ultrasound shows the baby is fine. You’re fine. But I want you to stay here for another day for observation.
Luke interjects. LUKE: Her attacker just got out on bail. My home is very secure. It would be much safer for her and the baby to go home with me.
BELLA: Would you do that for me?
LUKE: Your safety and your baby’s is a top priority.
BELLA: But the draft?
LUKE: Forgot to tell you. I got in.
BELLA: What pick?
LUKE: One.
BELLA: Luke!
DOCTOR: Mrs. Sanchez —
BELLA: I’m going back to Cortez. Ms. Cortez.
DOCTOR: Ms. Cortez, your vitals are good and you’re strong so I can discharge you now if you
EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Bella is discharged. Luke insists she move into his home and she and the baby can stay as long as she likes. She agrees she needs protection from Emilio.
INT. LUKE’S HOUSE – DAY
Luke moves Bella in with him.
INT. LUKE’S HOUSE, GUEST/BABY ROOM – NIGHT
Luke and Bella paint the baby’s room, laughing and flicking paint on each other. Bella paints clouds and stars on the ceiling with luminous paint.
They turn the light off and stare at the ceiling.
Luke stares at Bella until she turns and he praises her artwork.
Bella senses he wants more but she ignores it.
Luke wonders if she wants more than just friendship.
PLACEHOLDER SCENES:
INT. LUKE’S HOME – DAY
Scenes showing Luke directing delivery men to the guest room with new furniture for Bella.
Luke and Bella decorate her room. She orders clothes on the internet and soon her closet is full.
INT. MALL – DAY
Scenes showing Luke and Bella shopping for baby furniture and clothes.
EXT. BASEBALL STADIUM
Scenes showing Luke practicing and Bella watching him in the stands.
Luke introduces Bella to the other team players. They treat her like one of them.
EXT. BASEBALL STADIUM (same as teaser opening image):
Luke is starting pitcher in his first game for the farm team on his way up to MLB. Bella sits on the field not far from home plate, not in the stands.
When the game starts and Luke pitches, Emilio, in disguise, moves down to a seat just above Bella and in front of home plate.
Emilio pulls out a gun and starts spraying bullets onto the field at Luke.
Luke goes down. His leg is bleeding.
Fans scream and scatter, blocking exits so police cannot get down to Emilio’s spot.
Police call for backup and use a megaphone to demand that Emilio stand down.
Emilio grazes Luke’s leg. Luke gets up and hobbles, looking to stay out of Emilio’s way.
Emilio has disappeared from the stands.
The catcher and Luke rush Bella into the dugout, the closest place of safety.
Emilio appears on the field where Bella was. Infuriated, he sprays bullets onto the field and the fleeing players, coaches and umpires rushing to dugouts and the clubhouse, escaping to safety.
Emilio heads to the dugout.
Cops are in the spot where Emilio was. They finally spy him on the field and call out for him to put the gun down. Emilio runs faster toward the dugout.
EMILIO: Bella. Come out. I won’t hurt you. I want the baby, too. We belong together. We’re a family.
INT. DUGOUT – DAY
Bella grabs a concealed carry from Luke’s bag, having seen him pack a gun before practice together in high school.
Luke doesn’t see Bella lean out of the dugout looking for Emilio.
From out of nowhere, Emilio shoots but misses Bella as she quickly retreats.
Luke hobbles over trying to get the gun from Bella.
LUKE: I need to do it.
Bella refuses to give up the gun.
BELLA: I need to do it more.
Bella leans out and sees Emilio rushing toward her. She aims quickly and pulls the trigger.
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Angelina Fluehler – Act 4 Climax
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” All the CLIMAX check marks are succeed.
A. Ultimate expression of the conflict: YES. One lives within the system and the other is out of the system. One serves the system and the other acts against the system. One knows the new ways and way out and the other doesn’t etc.
B. Protagonist and Antagonist come face to face. Yes, action fighting in old abandon villa, imagining this, it will be just fantastic.
C. This scene tests the protagonist to the core. Yes, it does. It completes his transformational journey and give a good base for the resolution.
D. The New Ways must succeed. Yes, this is the case. Even antagonist gets the message about “the new ways” clear served.
There is one more step left in the protagonist’s transformation, which will come in the RESOLUTION.
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