Day 24 Assignment

[Joe Donato]

Joe filled in the missing scenes

I am finding that at this phase, I am sort of blurring the line between lesson 23, 24 and 25. I’m not going to obsess about focusing on just strictly being meticulous about the division between them, because when I see what’s working, and am motivated, I am writing, knowing that I’m not married to any of it yet. Here are some scenes I added and clarified:

– I added more dialouge before the climax where Chuck and Ruth look back and discover how the kid has been following and tracking them the whole time. This part was very etherial throughout the script… until now.

– I was going to add a whole scene where we meet the tow truck guy, but it turns out I only needed one line really for Chuck to ask the pawn-shop owner “know a good tow truck guy”. it works.

– I added a few sections where I cleaned up the logic-flow of scenes when they are driving through the desert; when is daytime, when is night, when to they get near the big cities, and when they totally leave “civilization” (like Las Vegas, where they could have stayed safely all night and gotten lots of help, but instead, Chuck decides to drive straight through the night, and back into the desert.

– I totally moved the scene with the TV show commentator reporting about the “zombie car” phenomenon happening where people are using remote control cars and that the only solution is more “good guys with guns”. It’s now much closer to the end, and immediately before Chuck actually buys a gun. this creates more mystery where it was earlier.

Now that I did that, understand the whole “fix it in passes”. I’m ready for another pass.