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Day 26 Assignment
Reply to post your assignment.
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12 Replies
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QE # 6 – first draft:
LOGLINE: CARLEY and MARCUS play cat and mouse until they each realize what they really want.
ESSENCE: Foreplay can be problematic while watching your favorite TV show.
CARLEY (30), attractive but somewhat world-weary, is on the couch with MARCUS (35), handsome but almost too much so — to the point of having a babyface.
They are watching THE QUEEN on television in their smallish apartment.
CARLEY: She is such a bitch!
MARCUS: She is not a bitch. She is the Queen.
CARLEY: The Queen can be a bitch and the Queen at the same time, believe me. This show proves it.
She turns off the show with the clicker.
MARCUS: Hey, I want to watch it!
CARLEY: Say please.
MARCUS: Please.
She turns the show back on. Sets, the clicker on the coffee table, and walks to the kitchen. Marcus watches the TV.
CARLEY: Would you like a glass of wine?
MARCUS: I’ll take a scotch instead.
Carley, in the kitchen, retrieves some scotch from the cabinet.
CARLEY: Scotch it is.
She pours the scotch and pours herself a glass of red wine from a bottle she retrieves from the fridge.
She walks back to the living room and hands Marcus the scotch.
CARLEY: You know, you can be sort of bossy… just FYI.
She sits.
Marcus turns to her.
MARCUS: And what made you bring that up?
CARLEY: The Queen is bossy, and you’re bossy.
MARCUS: You said the Queen is a bitch.
CARLEY: The Queen is a bossy bitch.
Beat.
CARLEY (points to TV): Hey look at that!
MARCUS: What?
CARLEY: Her dress is on backward!
MARCUS: Her dress is not on backward – that’s the way it’s supposed to be.
CARLEY: Oh.
They watch for a few moments in silence…
She grabs the clicker and turns the show off again.
MARCUS (angry): Goddammit I said I wanted to watch it!
CARLEY: Well I don’t want to watch it!
Beat.
MARCUS: May I please watch it?
CARLEY: Yes. But only after we do it. Together.
Beat.
Marcus looks at her.
CARLEY: The dishes.
They both BURSTS OUT LAUGHING.
MARCUS: I’m sorry I yelled.
He sips his scotch, looks at her.
MARCUS: You know you are really sexy. Particularly in smelly old jeans.
CARLEY: They aren’t smelly!
Beat.
CARLEY: Well, maybe a little. I planted some flowers today in the common area. It’s the fertilizer.
MARCUS: Really?
CARLEY: I’m going to grow some roses and take them to the hospital and give them to sick people.
MARCUS: Well isn’t that nice! Why don’t you ever do anything like that for me?
CARLEY: Because you’re too bossy. Be less bossy and I’ll give you some flowers…
She smiles. He moves closer to her.
MARCUS: Well how about just one flower?
CARLEY: Just one?
MARCUS: You give me that special, one flower, and I won’t be so bossy anymore.
CARLEY: What do I get for it?
He suddenly grabs the TV clicker from her and turns back on the TV.
MARCUS: You get to watch the end of the Queen with me!
He holds onto the clicker, and she tries to grab it from him.
CARLEY: Give me that goddamn clicker!
He puts the clicker in his pants pocket.
She looks at it.
CARLEY: Is that a clicker or are you happy to see me?
They both BURST OUT LAUGHING again.
Beat. They look at each other intently.
Marcus takes the clicker out of his pocket and clicks OFF the TV.
MARCUS: Come here.
She scoots in close to him.
MARCUS: Lay it on me.
CARLEY: Oh, I love it when you’re bossy.
MARCUS: I know.
They kiss.
END OF SCENE
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Rebecca’s QE Cycle 6, first draft
LOGLINE: Co-workers and just friends, go on a hike, climb down into a crevice, bicker, but pull together for survival during a surprise thunderstorm and flash flood.
ESSENCE: He wants her. He’s her crush but fear forces her push him away. Why?
SCENE:
EXT. NELSON LEDGES PARK – AFTERNOON
1966, beautiful Spring day. MARCUS Mosel (24, athletic, smart) leads his friend and coworker, CARLY Albert ( 24, naturally luscious but reserved) along a wooded trail. He carries a backpack picnic lunch and wine, she a small hip bag filled with minimal survival gear. They stop at the edge of a cliff and look down. Her eyes go wide.
CARLY
Don’t you think we should wait for your friends?
MARCUS
And waste this beautiful afternoon? They know where I’m headed. Let them find us.
Carly stares down the cliff into a narrow crevasse and bites her lip.
CARLY
I don’t know, Marcus. It looks a long way down. I’m not too good with heights.
He flashes a dazzling smile (perfect teeth) complete with twinkling blue eyes.
MARCUS
I thought you were a hardy farm girl. Come on I’ll go down first and guide you.
She follows him down the cliff. He guides her feet, catches her at the bottom, and pauses before letting go.
CONTINUOUS:
They walk in silence along the bottom by a trickling creek, a beautiful world of moss, hanging roots, vines, and fairy waterfalls. The canyon opens into a wider area with a big rock, still pool, and thin trickles of water that fall from the cliff overhead. Overhead, dark clouds suddenly gather. The streaks of sunlight disappear. A rumble of thunder rolls down the canyon. Marcus and Carly look up.
CARLY
Marcus, I hate lightning more than heights, and flash floods terrify me. Let’s go back.
Marcus looks around for a plan, the walls steep here. He spies a climbable ledge a short distance ahead with a possible cave. The rain pours.
CARLY
(Snippy)
Didn’t you think to check the weather?
MARCUS
(Snappy)
Did you? Follow me.
CARLY
Where, into more danger? Let’s just go back the way we came.
The rain moves from heavy to deluge.
MARCUS
Not an option.
He grabs her arm and pulls her along. Numerous waterfalls flow over the cliff edge. The trail beside the stream disappears, the rising water flows faster. They run to the ledge. Marcus climbs up a few feet and throws his backpack over the edge. He goes back down.
MARCUS
Carly, stand on my shoulders and climb up. I’ll follow.
Marcus squats, Carly sits on his shoulders, carefully stands, and clambers onto the ledge. The water rises even faster. Marcus jumps up and climbs to the ledge. He helps to boost her to the larger outcropping higher up and follows.
Lightning streaks overhead, a loud boom explodes overhead. Startled, Carly moves closer to Marcus and inches backward closer to a bush on the ledge and grabs onto it when she looks down. Fast moving rising water pulses through the narrow section of canyon.
MARCUS
Carly, you got rope in your pack? Give it to me.
She complies. How did he know? He rummages in his backpack and pulls out a metal spike loop, hammer, and 10 foot line. He hammers the loop into a rock at the rear of the ledge.
CARLY
(Sarcastic)
Ok genius, now what?
MARCUS
Insurance in case the water reaches this high.
He ties the rope securely to the metal loop.
MARCUS (CONT.)
Now tie your rope to the bush and hand me the loose end.
CARLY
Why? I might need it.
MARCUS
Shut up and give me the rope.
Carly, angry, glares at Marcus but ties her rope to the bush. She delivers a dramatic throw, steps backwards, and falls into the rushing water. Marcus pulls out the bush and throws it to Carly. She grabs it, water covers her face. Marcus struggles against the current and pulls her back. He lifts Carly and the bush upwards, grabs her under the arms and they fall backwards into the shallow cave. Carly shakes all over. Marcus hugs her close for a long time, both silent. She pulls away, embarrassed, still shaking.
CARLY
(Vibrating voice)
I’m ok, just shivery.
Marcus digs into his backpack and pulls out a blanket. He rips off her hip pack and shirt. He turns his back.
MARCUS
Take off your bra and shorts.
He wraps the blanket around her, finding it hard not to admire her body. He holds up her pack.
MARCUS
You got any matches in here.
Carly still shivering, nods yes.
MARCUS (CONT.)
I hope they’re waterproof.
Carly nods again. Marcus finds the waterproof match container, wax candle, and a Swiss Army knife. He cuts branches from the bush and lays them on the floor of the shallow cave and covers them with dry weeds. The woody part, he cuts into strips, add slices of way, and starts a small fire ringed by loose rocks and dirt. The cliff overhang protects them from the rain. Marcus removes his shirt.
CARLY
(Shaking voice)
What are you doing?
MARCUS
I apologize in advance for appearing fresh. I’m going to help warm your body if you let me share the blanket. Your clothes are soaking wet, the temperature dropping. I don’t want you to go into shock.
Carly turns her face away and opens the blanket. He wraps his arms around her and readjusts the blanket. She snuggles closer. They sit with their backs against the cave side until the shaking stops.
MARCUS
You feeling warmer?
CARLY
Yes. Do you always know the right thing to do?
He smiles.
MARCUS
I don’t look at things as right or wrong, just possibilities and probabilities.
He pulls away and readjusts the blanket. He leans out over the ledge to check the water levels, and replaces his shirt.
CARLY
How high?
MARCUS
A foot below the ledge.
He sits lost in thought for a long time. Carly, prays. The rain stops.
He checks the water level again.
MARCUS
No higher. I think we’re safe for now, unless the rain kicks in again.
He adds more bush kindling to the small fire and snuggles close to her.
CARLY
How long before the water goes down?
MARCUS
What’s your guess, farm girl?
CARLY
I don’t know. By morning? I’m cold, thirsty, and hungry. What if the water takes days to go down? Do we swim out? No one know’s where we are. I’ll lose my job. It’s dark outside, and I can’t do anything about it.
She starts to cry.
MARCUS
(Snappy)
Why do you expect me to know all the answers?
CARLY
You always do.
MARCUS
I had something much different in mind for our first date.
CARLY
It wasn’t a date. Only a hike with you and your friends.
MARCUS
No friends, just you and me alone. I tricked you. Every time I try to get to know you better you push me away.
CARLY
What else did you have in mind?
MARCUS
Not what you’re thinking. Just a simple picnic on the rock by the pool. Conversation. Dinner after the hike.
Carly’s lip quivers. Tears flood again.
CARLY
I’m sorry. I thought I was going to die. You saved my life. And, all I do is complain.
MARCUS
We still have the picnic.
He rummages into his back pack and pulls out cheese, salami, a baguette, and kitchen knife. His hand reaches back in for a bottle of wine, cork puller, and two plastic cups. Carly turns her back to spread out the blanket for him to share. She replaces her partially dried shirt and shorts. She hands him a small bottle of water from her hip pack.
CARLY
Perhaps, we should ration what we have.
She eyes the spread on the blank and tears up again.
CARLT
I’m usually the one to bring food. Thank you. Actually, this is nice.
They eat, drink, and converse.
MARCUS
I’m not a jerk, I never meant to give you that impression. We’ve known, excuse me, been co-workers for a year and a half now. Why do you always change the subject or joke around when I try to ask you out or ask a personal question?
She takes a gulp of wine.
CARLY
I never thought you a jerk. You scare me.
MARCUS
Why? I respect you, your work ethic, kindness, humor, bright mind, even being overly helpful.
CARLY
What do you mean overly helpful? Bossy?
MARCUS
Always going by the book, the need to do things the right way. The right way depends on perception. Way do I scare you?
Carly squints at her cup.
CARLY
Because? I don’t trust you could be interested in me.
MARCUS
That’s not an answer. Why do I scare you? Tell me.
He gazes into her eyes. She melts, her voice soft.
CARLY
It will be easy for me to, to, love you. There, I’ve said it. But, it will never work out for us, better to save the heartache.
Her reply startles him. He adds more fuel to the fire only source of light. She packs the remaining food into his backpack, and pours more wine. His eyes bore into her.
MARCUS
Tell me about the farm. Did you always live there?
Carly, uncomfortable, stares into her wine.
CARLY
No. We lived in a pretty house on a lake in New Jersey until I was ten. My father moved two years earlier. Mom and I would visit until she sold the house. The farm was isolated, the houses in a deep valley, a long walk uphill on a rutted lane to the bus stop. No electricity, spring water, toilet down the path, and the bath tub hung on the wall. I learned how to care for chickens, milk a goat, and help my father with the sheep. My dog and I watched them during the day, no fencing. I’d take a bag of books with me and read to pass the time. That’s it. You asked.
She smiles, and sips more wine. Marcus stares at her and smiles back.
MARCUS
Why did your father move to the farm?
Carly leans out of the cave and looks up at the night sky. The clouds now gone, replaced by millions of stars. Carly points upward.
CARLY
Marcus, look at all the stars. You can even see the Milky Way. It’s almost hard to make out the constellations. I love to look at them and think about the legends behind the names. How about you?
Marcus looks up and points.
MARCUS
You’re doing it again, avoiding my question. I can play name the constellations too. See that red looking star. It’s not really a star but the planet my mother named me for.
Carly, bubbly now, rambles on.
CARLY
Mars? Of course, Marcus, Latin for Mars. So you like astronomy?
MARCUS
My mother teaches it at Western Reserve. That’s why I plan to start work at Lewis Field NASA this fall. I still have a year to complete my PhD. I’ll be busy.
The couple move under the overhang and snuggle close.
CARLY
Lab gossip tells me that your father is head of the Cleveland FBI office and Jewish.
MARCUS
I’m not Jewish. My grandfather was, my grandmother catholic. She raised my father in her faith and he married my mother, a Lutheran. What about you?
CARLY
My family didn’t belong to a religion. A neighbor girl took me with her to the Presbyterian church. I attended a Lutheran College. I guess I’m an unaffiliated Christian.
MARCUS
Now, Miss Carly. Was that so hard? Does your mother have a career?
CARLY
Yes, she’s a homemaker, the glue that holds our family together. Please don’t ask me again about my father.
She shivers. Marcus add the last branch to the fire. He pulls her close and kisses her. This time she responds. He pulls the blanket close around them.
MARCUS
Do you believe in fate? Irony?
CARLY
I think so. This disastrous outing could be our fate to get closer so we can survive. Irony? If you only knew.
MARCUS
Knew what? What is the secret that has so affected your life? I love you Carly, everything about you. Tell me so you can be free to move on with your life. I promise not to tell anyone.
CARLY
Especially not your dad? Please, if certain people find my father they will kill him. That’s why we went into hiding.
Marcus looks into her eyes. She melts against him.
MARCUS
I promise to protect you and not tell anyone.
Carly blurts it out.
CARLY
My father once was a high ranking member of the Communist Party.
MARCUS
Are you serious?
CARLY
Afraid so. He tried to leave and the party took out a contract to kill him. The mafia warned Pap. He left and we disappeared. Neither the FBI nor their communist agents could find us. That’s why there’s no future for us, only tonight or until the water goes down.
She breaks into tears. Marcus pulls her closer and kisses them away.
MARCUS
Marry me Carly. I’ll protect you and your secret.
Shocked, Carly starts to speak. Marcus kisses the words into silence.
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QE 6 First Draft
LOGLINE: A YouTube sensation roams the streets of Kathmandu teaching his followers how to wheel and deal when a young woman stops his efforts.
ESSENSE: There’s something more important than pleasing your YouTube Followers.
EXT. KATHMANDU MARKET – DAY
Noise and people populate the background of MARCUS KELLY’S YouTube channel as he walks through the markets of Kathmandu. He’s in his 30, has brown curly hair, tan skin, and a chubby baby face. It’s a face most women can’t refuse.
MARCUS KELLY
Hey, everybody! I’m in Kathmandu at Ason Tole, one of the oldest markets in the city. We’re going to learn how to wheel and deal.
He walks to a stall selling trekking socks. A WOMAN (60s), wearing a winter coat, but clearly Hindu with her red bindi dot on the forehead and scarf around her head, smiles and nods.
Marcus picks up a pair of socks.
MARCUS KELLY
How much?
WOMAN
(heavy accent)
Two thousand.
MARCUS KELLY
(indignant)
Two-thousand? The package is ripped. The socks were probably worn already. How about 500?
The woman shakes her head.
WOMAN
One thousand nine-hundred.
MARCUS KELLY
Five-fifty.
A young woman (late 20s), with red hair and freckles, watches. She’s wearing a white veil along with a sari covered with a ragged coat. On her feet are Uggs that look to have been passed down from several generations. Her big toe pokes out of one of them.
She shakes her head, purses her lips, and folds her arms.
CARLEY
Marcus Kelly, what are you doing, ripping off these people?
MARCUS KELLY
Cut! Do you mind? I’m under deadline.
Carley takes the socks from Marcus’s hand and carefully sets them back in the woman’s hands.
CARLEY
He doesn’t need these.
She turns to Marcus.
CARLEY
Give her some money.
MARCUS KELLY
What? Not unless I get those socks.
CARLEY
She is taking care of her grandchildren, who lost their parents in the earthquake. She’s a widow. This is her only income.
Marcus grabs the socks.
MARCUS KELLY
I’m not giving her any money until I get these socks.
CARLEY
They cost two-thousand. That’s only 20 American dollars. Come on, I know you have more than that on you.
CAMERA-MAN (O.S.)
Roll film.
Carley turns toward the CAMERA MAN, and tries yanking the camera from him.
CARLEY
No, no. I can’t be on television.
MARCUS KELLY
Right, Hindu women aren’t allowed on television.
Carley turns toward Marcus.
CARLEY
For acting so worldly, you’re really stupid. Hindu women can be on television, but I can’t. Now give the woman her money if you want the socks.
Marcus motions to the camera man.
MARCUS KELLY
Let’s go. We’ll cut that part.
They walk for a moment and stop as a booth selling backpacks.
MARCUS KELLY
Roll camera.
Marcus picks up a pink backpack with the Disney Frozen characters plastered on it.
MARCUS KELLY
What do you think? Pretty snazzy.
He turns toward another HINDU WOMAN (50s) with a nose piercing.
MARCUS KELLY
How much?
HINDU WOMAN
Five thousand.
MARCUS KELLY
(outraged)
Five thousand.
Carley has followed them.
CARLEY
That’s fifty bucks, Marcus. Pay up.
MARCUS KELLY
Oh, great, Mother Teresa has followed me. Tell me, Mother, how much should I pay this woman? More than five thousand? Should I send her children to school? How about I adopt this entire street and build them all a home?
The camera turns toward Carley, who rushes over and knocks it down.
MARCUS KELLY
Hey, that wasn’t cheap. I’m going to call the police on you.
CARLEY
The police are my friends. You, on the other hand, could spend a month in jail and they wouldn’t care.
She bends down, picks up the camera, turns it off, and hands it to the Camera man.
CARLEY
Sorry about that. It’s fine. Just keep it off me.
MARCUS KELLY
Where’s all that compassion you were showing five minutes ago?
CARLEY
Marcus, you’re judging me? This is Ama. Her husband died last year, and she has just found out she has breast cancer. Marcus, give her the money for that backpack.
MARCUS KELLY
How do you know all this about these people?
CARLEY
I care for them. Who do you care for?
MARCUS KELLY
Marcus Kelly. I lived in an orphanage, too. I had to pull myself up by the bootstraps. My life was tough. Maybe even tougher than most of these people.
CARLEY
Save it, Marcus. I read your best seller.
MARCUS KELLY
They sell my book here?
CARLEY
No, I pulled it out of the trash at the airport.
MARCUS KELLY
Okay, Big Red, where’s your stall? What are you selling?
CARLEY
I gotta go. Bye, Marcus. Why don’t you do something different for your YouTube? Maybe focus on the troubles of these people instead of exploiting them.
She runs away.
EXT. KATHMANDU MARKET – MONTHS LATER
Marcus is going through the stalls. People shake their heads and shrug their shoulders.
Marcus finally ends up at a small, dilapidated building with a sign that reads – Sisters of Charity. Carley, wearing plain clothing and carrying a small suitcase, steps out and bumps into Marcus.
MARCUS KELLY
Hey! Finally. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I need to thank you!
He plops a kiss on her lips. She backs away and swipes her face. Marcus stares at the building.
MARCUS KELLY
(shocked)
Are you a…a…nun?
CARLEY
Novice. Well, not anymore. Once your YouTube went viral Mother Superior thought I might be happier outside the convent.
MARCUS KELLY
You got kicked out because of me?
CARLEY
Maybe. Mother Superior heard me talking in my sleep. I kept saying, “I love you, Marcus Kelly.” But I really don’t.
MARCUS KELLY
I’m sorry I got you kicked out. What are you going to do now?
Carley shrugs.
MARCUS KELLY
Hey, I’ve been helping these people like you told me to. Maybe you can join me.
Carley smiles.
CARLEY
Marcus, you do care about someone else besides yourself.
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SUBJECT: Monica’s QE Cycle #6: Write this Scene
LOGLINE: Two witches disagree on how to return magic to the Earth.
ESSENCE: Magic can be found in the mundane.
SCENE:
EXT. FOREST CLEARING – NIGHT
A full moon shines its light onto the clearing in the forest. A circle of stones surround a bonfire. In the circle a table covered in a white cloth stands.
Several hooded figures form another circle close to the trees. Their cloaks are white. There are two people whose cloaks are red. They stand at either end of the table within the circle.
One of the white hooded figures steps into the circle. This is the HIGH PRIESTESS, tall, 50s, long white hair with a streak of black. She stands at the centre position of the table.
HIGH PRIESTESS
We gather in the light of the full moon to perform the ritual to bring magic back to the world.
She looks from one to the other of the red hooded figures.
HIGH PRIESTESS
Carley and Marcus do you, of your own free will, agree to participate in this ritual.MARCUS
I do.
Shedding his cloak, MARCUS, 30s, tall, well-built, with dazzling blue eyes and dark hair, stands naked before the Coven.
All eyes are on CARLEY, 30s, petite, thin with dark eyes and long dark hair, avoids eye contact with the other members of the coven.
HIGH PRIESTESS
(gently)Carley, do you still wish to participate.
CARLEY
(whispers)
I don’t see how having sex with HIM is going to bring magic back to the world.
HIGH PRIESTESS
We’ve gone over this. You’re the only virgin we could find. And we need the blood of a virgin for the ritual to work.CARLEY
How do I know he’s even clean? Someone like him has probably had many lovers.
MARCUS
Never had a virgin before.
(to Carley)
I promise I’ll be gentle. But we need to hurry up or the power of the full moon will be wasted on her evasiveness. Or are you afraid?
HIGH PRIESTESS
That’s enough.MARCUS
I’d have already taken her. When I’m high priest if I have to tie them down and rape them I will.
Carley gasps. She starts to back away and right into a large cloaked figure who grasps her by the upper arms.
HIGH PRIESTESS
A ritual infused with violence doesn’t accomplish our purposes. Remember that IF you ever become high priest.
MARCUS
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so blunt. But there’s nowhere to run.
The cloaked figure rips Carley’s robe off her. She stands naked before the coven. The rest of the coven shed their robes also. They step into the circle.
CARLEY
I’m not afraid, as much as you’d like to think I am. But I’ve never heard of this ritual before.
MARCUS
It’s old magic. Now get on the table on your back.
CARLEY
No. I want someone else. One who preferably doesn’t have the macho ego you do.
HIGH PRIESTESS
There isn’t anyone else.
CARLEY
In an ordinary day he’d be the last man I’d sleep with.
MARCUS
Where is this coming from?
CARLEY
From my sense of self-respect. Where are you coming from?
Marcus snorts. He saunters around the table. Carley matches his movements in the opposite direction.
MARCUS
We don’t have time for her games.
The High Priestess grabs Carley’s arm.
HIGH PRIESTESS
I am sorry. I did not realize how upset you would be.CARLEY
Not to worry.
Marcus reaches Carley. The High Priestess lets go of her arm. Carley makes a fist and spins and hits Marcus in the face. Marcus falls back on his ass on the ground.
MARCUS
What the hell was that for?
CARLEY
That’s for making this perverted instead of sacred.
Marcus slowly gets up. Working his jaw back and forth.
MARCUS
It’s sex. That’s all.
CARLEY
That’s all. That’s all. How did you even get to be a witch?
MARCUS
Family tradition. Look I’m sorry if you’re upset. But the full moon power is not going to have the effect we hope for if you keep this up.
Marcus warily approaches Carley. He reaches out his hand. She reluctantly takes it.
CARLEY
I want them all to turn around.
MARCUS
Everyone face the forest.
HIGH PRIESTESS
(turns)
Well I never.
MARCUS
Yes you have.
The High Priestess stiffens. Marcus takes Carley in his arms. They kiss.
MARCUS
(to Carley)
Now up on the table…
Carley grabs Marcus and bites his neck.
CARLEY
I think I want a woman.
-
QE #6 – first draft
Logline: Home-improvement projects get sidetracked when Marcus wants to make strudel and Carley needs to borrow a power tool.
Essence: All sorts of creativity happens in the kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT
The kitchen is filled with signs of baking. A sheet pan is on the counter. Nearby sits a bowl of perfectly diced apples, combined with golden raisins and glistening with cinnamon and sugar.
MARCUS, 40s, carefully layers thin sheets of phyllo onto parchment paper. Against all odds, his black T-shirt is still flour-free.
He carefully places another impossibly fragile sheet of dough onto another.
MARCUS
Easy, easy. You don’t want to rip the sheets.
He gently smooths the pile of sheets in front of him.
MARCUS (cont.)
Seven, you want seven layers.
He glances over his shoulder at CARLEY (30s), who’s sitting on the countertop behind him. She stifles a yawn.
CARLEY
This is boring! Who does this anymore?
She hops off the counter.
Irritated, Marcus runs his hand over the sheet of phyllo, rips it.
MARCUS
Damn! What are you doing here, anyway? It’s late.
CARLEY
And your lights were still on. I just came over to borrow your drill, Markie, not for a baking lesson.
MARCUS
Tough beans. I’m in the middle of the most delicate of operations. I’m sorry, but the drill can wait.
Carley rolls her head back, gags.
CARLEY (cont.)
I. Just. Need. The. Damn. Drill. Can’t I get it from your garage?
Marcus sighs. Picks up another sheet.
MARCUS
You. Just. Need. To. Wait.
Carley paces the kitchen.
MARCUS
What do you need the drill for anyway? It’s nearly midnight.
CARLEY
I’m working on a project.
Marcus picks up the apple concoction.
MARCUS
Another project? What’s it this time? Another birdhouse? Flower box? Go cart?
CARLEY
Shut up. Does your Martha Stewart routine help with your nightm—
CRASH! Marcus drops the bowl. Apple hits the counter, some land on the floor.
Carley grabs a wad of nearby paper towels and dives to clean up the gushy mess on the floor.
MARCUS
Crap. Now look at my strudel … And you have apple on your shirt.
Carley stands. The paper towel in her hand holds the apple from the floor. She glances at apple clinging to her scoop-neck top. A few pieces landed on her collar bone. She scrunches her mouth, narrows her eyes.
She carefully wipes the apple bits from the paper towel onto Marcus’ black T-shirt.
CARLEY
Oh, my. You do too.
They glare at each other.
CARLEY (cont.)
I. Just. Need. The. Damn. Drill.
Marcus reaches for the paper towel in her hand. She yanks it back.
MARCUS
Sorry. You. Need. To. Wait.
They glare at each other, standing closer still.
CARLEY
(quietly)
For … ?
Marcus raises an eyebrow.
MARCUS
(quietly)
Do I really need to say it?
-
QE Cycle #6 Scene
Logline: Marcus leads Carley on a quest to learn the truth and finds true love.
Essence: Complications in life can lead to love.
Scene:
EXT. WILDERNESS HIKING TRAIL – DAY
The bright sun shines on MARCUS (30) who winds his way through the trees.
He leads CARLEY (27) along on the dirt path. She steps forward like a real and seasoned trooper.
CARLEY
You said we were going camping, Marcus. Shouldn’t we have camping equipment?!
MARCUS
Why are you always second guessing me?! Answer me!
CARLEY
I just like to know where I’m going. That’s all.
They arrive at a fork on the trail and stop. Sounds of RUSTLING leaves can be heard behind them. The sounds suddenly stop.
Marcus and Carley turn around to check. Nothing. Just trees.
MARCUS
It was probably a scared rabbit, Carley.
CARLEY
There are no rabbits living out here. You have no concept about these things.
MARCUS
Yes, I do. Let’s go this way.
Marcus picks the path on the left. Carley hesitates, then follows.
CARLEY
We haven’t had our daily lunch. It’s not like we can find a diner in these parts.
MARCUS
Is that what you think of me? Someone’s who’s a complete idiot.
CARLEY
You said it. Not me.
They hike several more feet as Marcus turns around and spots TED (35) who has been following the pair. Marcus motions Ted to keep his distance.
Ted nods as Marcus continues forward. Unbeknownst to Carley and Marcus, Ted is recording their every step and conversation.
MARCUS
Do you still think about Ted?
CARLEY
We’re hiking and you’re asking me about Ted!
Marcus and Carley stay silent for a moment.
CARLEY
If you keep up with your antics, this between us is not gonna last for too long. My precious.
MARCUS
Just answer my question.
CARLEY
No! He’s my ex! Ex!
Marcus winces at Carley’s fury.
CARLEY
Look, I thought I saw a rabbit.
MARCUS
So, you rather be with me, right?
Carley stops in her tracks and ponders.
CARLEY
You like to make things difficult.
MARCUS
Him or me?
Carley closes her eyes wanting to choose the right words.
CARLEY
What do you think, precious? I’m miles away from civilization, and you’re the only one next to me.
Marcus gives Carley an applause.
MARCUS
It’s me then. Both of us with nature.
CARLEY
I guess you have me right where you want me.
They reach what seems to be the rear of a log cabin. Marcus and Carley appear dumbfounded.
MARCUS
What’s this? The tour guide agency didn’t mention any residences out here.
CARLEY
Let’s be brave and check inside?
MARCUS
We may need a secret key.
MAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
We have the key to this cabin. But you can join us if you’d like?
Marcus and Carley spin around and encounter a NAKED COUPLE.
CARLEY
May I ask, where am I?
NAKED MAN
We’re part of a nudist colony. This is our home.
NAKED WOMAN
You can join us if you’d like?
Carley turns to Marcus who shrugs his shoulders.
MARCUS
Honestly, I’m very sorry. I had no idea.
The naked couple senses some unease as they walk away.
NAKED MAN
Have a nice day.
NAKED WOMAN
Remember, you can join us if you’d like?
Marcus notices Carley silent looking away.
MARCUS
Carley, I’m really sorry.
CARLEY
I don’t want to talk.
TED (O.S.)
You should because he’s playing you like a fiddle.
Both Marcus and Carley are stunned and find Ted next to a tree.
Marcus is beside himself, shocked.
MARCUS
Ted, what is this? You live around here?
CARLEY
You know my ex?
TED
Know you? He had me follow you to make sure I was out of your life.
Carley shoots eye daggers at Marcus.
MARCUS
I thought the change in scenery would help us sort things out. Among the three of us.
CARLEY
Sort things out? Here?
Marcus reaches for Carley’s hand.
MARCUS
My bad move. I just want us to be happy. You and me.
TED
(to Carley)
I have everything recorded. So, when you want to come back to me, I’ll be ready.
CARLEY
You can take your recording and stuff it. So go make some diamonds.
Marcus is all smiles.
MARCUS
I knew you were always mine.
Marcus takes a knee and takes out a tiny box.
MARCUS
Carley, my fearless adventurer, would you marry me?
Carley opens her mouth as she gasps.
CARLEY
What?!
MARCUS
Be my wife. Because we’re gonna have a huge family.
CARLEY
Yes! Yes!
Ted steps off, defeated.
MARCUS
(to Ted)
Thanks for your help, buddy.
Marcus and Carley jump into each other’s arms and passionately kiss.
NAKED MAN (O.S.)
Congratulations.
NAKED WOMAN
You can join us if you’d like?
Marcus and Carley detach their lips.
MARCUS
What do you think?
CARLEY
It would make an exciting experience, my dear.
They grasp one another’s hand and stroll behind the naked couple.
-
Janeen’s QE Cycle 6 Scene – First Draft
LOGLINE: Carley and Marcus’ game of cat and mouse finally ends with a question.
ESSENCE: Carley, tired of the cat and mouse, asks Marcus to marry her.
SCENE:
INT. BUSINESS HAPPY HOUR – EVENING
CARLEY, late-20’s business woman, chats with DARIUS, a good looking businessman in his 30’s.
MARCUS, late-20’s in business casual, leans on the bar and watches Carley intently.
Carley surreptitiously glances alternately over at Marcus and another businessman, AARON, who is talking to a group of women.
CARLEY
I’m so glad we’ll be doing business together.Darius maneuvers a bit so he is in between Carley and the other men to block her view of them.
DARIUS (making the double entendre obvious)
I hope we’ll have more productive meetings like today’s.
Carley peeks over Darius’ shoulder to see Andrew shake his head in mock disbelief/disgust and exit the bar room. She touches Darius’ arm to soften her rejection.
CARLEY
Darius, I need to speak to someone before they get away. We’ll talk tomorrow, right?Carley smiles up at Darius who recognizes the brushoff and turns away. Andrew looks back in time to see the touch on the arm and the smile, but turns back around quickly and heads outside.
She is stopped midway to the door by Aaron.
AARON
Carley, can we speak for a moment?Carley steps over to Aaron and the group of women, glancing back at the door often.
EXT. BUILDING TERRACE – LATER
CARLEY follows MARCUS out to the herb terrace.CARLEY Marcus, wait up.
Marcus turns, pulling himself up into his power stature, defensive, really.
MARCUS
Why are you out here. I thought you were part of Aaron’s harem.Carley softens and approaches him with a smile, reaching out to touch his arm as she draws near.
CARLEY
If you’d come to talk to me when Darius had me trapped it would have really helped.(suddenly tough)
But like usual, you left.Marcus looks befuddled, turns as if to go and then turns back. Carley and Marcus hold each other’s gaze for a long beat.
MARCUS
You weren’t trying to make Aaron jealous by flirting with Darius?Carley looks surprised at first, then angry. She responds with curt politeness.
CARLEY
No.
MARCUS
Or enjoying the attention?Carley frowns, considers a minute.
CARLEY
Not from him. I’d rather have attention from another man who would never consider someone like me, apparently.Marcus is in command again.
MARCUS
Who’s attention do you want? Who’s the mystery man?Carley looks a little flustered. Embarrassed for a moment, she goes back to cold and polite.
CARLEY
It’s kind of cool out here.She hugs herself as though cold and turns to go back in.
Marcus looks thoughtful, then heaves a sigh, straightens and goes back to his commanding self.
He puts his hands on her shoulders.
MARCUS
You don’t feel cold. You’re not shaking.Carley shrugs off his hands.
CARLEY
I don’t have to shiver to be cold.MARCUS (apologetic)
Of course not.
Carley pulls away, made shy by his tenderness.
MARCUS (CONT’D)
Do you want to go back in? Is the man you want inside?Carley looks away, fondling a leaf of basil in a nearby pot.
CARLEY
If you want to leave things like this between us, then I’ll go in. Is that what you want?MARCUS No, it’s not.
Carley turns to him, looking him full in the face with trust in her eyes.
CARLEY Then what do you want?
Marcus sees Aaron come outside and look around the terrace, apparently looking for Carley. Marcus pulls Carley to him and kisses her.
Aaron turns in despair and goes back inside.
MARCUS
Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.CARLEY (confused)
Then why did you?
Marcus looks at the door where Aaron has retreated.
MARCUS
I don’t know. It just seemed like the thing to do at the moment.Carley looks stricken and responds with cold politeness.
CARLEY
This was only momentary.(turns from tender to tough)
I see.
Marcus still has his arms around Carley, holding her loosely. She looks down and away in discomfort.
Having steeled herself, she quickly kisses Marcus on the cheek and pulls away to go back in.
CARLEY (CONT’D)
It’s cold out here. I don’t want you to get sick. Marcus quickly pulls her back.MARCUS
That wasn’t a proper kiss. We should kiss properly — just once. Carley is wary, confused, evasive.CARLEY
Why?
MARCUS
To see if maybe Aaron and your mystery man aren’t the ones for you. (apologetically)Maybe I am. To see if our words and our lips —
Marcus kisses her quickly, but gently.
MARCUS (CONT’D)
— And our bodies should be together. To see if you want more of me than you want Darius or Aaron.Carley, shocked and looking for an escape, puts her hands on his chest to keep him at a distance and ponders. She fingers a button on his shirt.
CARLEY
You have a loose button. I can fix that tomorrow.Marcus is silent, looking content. Carley looks up for his reaction. He returns to command mode.
MARCUS
Tomorrow will be fine. Tonight, however.He stops when she looks down, away, anywhere but at him. He backs up, unsure of his stand with her and apologetic again.
She looks up at him, prepares to speak and finally does.
CARLEY Will you marry me?
-
QE#6 First Draft
Logline: Carley arrives at Shilo Manor for a weekend of trying to prove ghosts exist, Marcus, her lover, and other two colleagues have already arrived.
Essence: You never really know who your lover is when you’re young.
EXT. SHILO MANOR – NIGHT
A flash of heat lightning ignites the sky before the thunder revealing this gothic marvel. Wrought iron and brick fences surround the house. Another flash in the sky reveals a eyes.
The eyes dissolve into a knocker with a joker clown face. It’s smile is unsettling. There is a swinging light above the door.
CARLEY 25, cross-fit has nothing on her, stands at the majestic door a backpack slung over one shoulder and a laptop bag in her hand.
She stares at the knocker. Is it staring at her. She moves slightly side to side watching the eyes.
CARLEY
(To herself) You know you should be more nice it’s a new century.
MARCUS (O.S.)
You know you’re late.
She is not impressed with his tone. The door opens loudly with a squeak filling Carley with light. MARCUS 29, he’s a work in progress, stands hand on his hip grin ear to ear.
Carley smiles and nods, she looks at the threshold and sighs.
CARLEY
Aren’t you going to invite me in.
She makes a pouty face. Marcus rolls his eyes and waves her in.
MARCUS
Come on in.
She enters the house looking at the floor holding her breath. Marcus shuts the door with a bang.
INT. SHILO MANOR- DRAWING ROOM – CONTINUOUS
The drawing room is wide and looks like it was updated in the…
MARCUS
Yeah the previous owner bought the manor in 1985 and as you can see…
Marcus is addressing a group of 3 people, Carley, CHAD 30’S stoner type, and DR. EGRESS, 50’S she’s paying little attention to Marcus and looking at a painting.
CARLEY
Well, it’s not that bad just not what I was expecting when you said Gothic Haunted House.
MARCUS
I know I know. I’m just as surprised as you all are. But can we make the best of this. Dr. Egress you have the floor.
She looks at the room but doesn’t stand to address the people in the room. Marcus sits next to Carley on the couch.
DR. EGRESS
Well we are all here for one reason.
She pauses for effect, looking at Chad she raises her eyebrows in disapproval as he is on his phone.
DR. EGRESS
And it’s not to be on those silly things.
She jumps us and points to the bar at the end of the room. On the counter there is a row of monitors showing different rooms and a thermal monitor.
DR. EGRESS
But to prove there is life after death!
Carley smiles and claps, Marcus leans in and claps as well. Chad is unimpressed
CHAD
Yeah. So great to be here.
DR. EGRESS
Well I didn’t invite you, you little shit.
He puts down his phone and clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth.
MARCUS
I did.
Dr. Egress is aghast. Carley is as well, she looks at him mouth agape and punches his shoulder. He rubs his arm faking that it hurt.
CARLEY
Why would you do that? You know they are not together any longer.
Marcus shrugs and smirks.
DR. EGRESS
He’s a skeptic my dear. His ego would not be able to handle the truth so he made sure I would be distracted and not focus on my work.
CARLEY
You didn’t? That’s so messed up.
CHAD
No what’s messed up is that painting on the wall. It looks like you Car.
They all look at a medium size painting on the wall in front of them. It looks exactly like Carley, she is in 17th century dress and sits on a throne with 2 dogs at her feet.
DR. EGRESS
I was wondering child, if that was a relative.
All eyes are on Carley, she looks at the painting and then at her companions. She is not as shocked as they are. She stands and addresses them in front of the painting.
CARLEY
I wouldn’t know. I’m not from this state. It is eerie but hey you never know. Chad are you still up for doing this?
Marcus’s eyes move from the painting and back to Carley several times. He is taking in everything.
DR. EGRESS
Oh he is Child. Chad just don’t fuck her again. I need her brain.
Chad drops his phone. They all look at Egress. Marcus looks at Carley, her head drops as they make eye contact.
DR. EGRESS
Oh. You didn’t know Son.
MARCUS
No. I had my suspicions (Leering at Chad) but ya’ll confrimed them.
He stands and walks to Carley, she is still looking at the ground. He gently puts his hand on her chin lifting her face to look at his.
MARCUS
You bitch.
He shoves her back towards the wall. Tears of anger form on her face. Chad jumps up and takes a step towards Marcus. Marcus spins around and quickly puts Chad on his ass.
DR. EGRESS
BOYS! ENOUGH! If anybody should be jilted it’s me. You drag me out here for this ruse for what?
Marcus steps away from Chad and turns to Carley.
MARCUS
Well Dr. This house is not haunted but it does belong to Car. She has been lying this whole time.
CARLEY
About what? Yeah so I fucked him, (Sneering at Egress) he was good. But not great. Marcus,
She moves to take his hand but he pushes her with both hands sending her flying back. Dr. Egress jumps to help her from falling on the floor but stops mid run.
The men’s eyes widen and Egress stands over the floating Carley.
MARCUS
What the fuck?
Dr. Egress looks at her monitors, she does not see Carley on the video, she does not see her heat signature on the thermal cam monitor.
DR. EGRESS
Gentlemen, this is very peculiar. She’s not registering. This could be a possession. I told you this was..
Carley slowly floats upright three feet off the floor. She looks at the shock and awe on their faces. Her eyes are no longer blue but bloodshot yellow.
MARCUS
Holy shit!
CHAD
What the hell are you?
Carley smiles revealing pointed incisors and laughs uneasily.
CARLEY
Surprise! I’m a vampire.
Dr. Egress walks up to her touching her.
DR. EGRESS
Fascinating. Child you are a marvel.
CARLEY
Hey bitch! I’m 500 years old so stop with the condescending tones.
Chad leans over the side of the couch and pukes.
CARLEY
Dude that’s gross! You better clean that shit up.
Marcus walks slowly to her, she lowers her feet to the floor meeting him. His eyes are wide and he doesn’t know what to say.
He tries to speak but Carley puts her finger on his lips. She pulls his head down and kisses him.
CARLEY
Look, I’m sorry I had sex with puke boy over there. But I’m old and have a deep appetite sexually. I also don’t care that you had revenge sex with old crusty tits over there.
Dr. Egress’s eyes widen in shock that she knows. Carley responds without looking at her.
CARLEY
I watched from the shadows. It was hot.
MARCUS
So this is your house and…
CARLEY
I knew your ruse. I’ve searched for someone to share this immortality with, and I found you.
Marcus is stunned and cant stop himself from kissing her, he turns his head to the side. His vein is a lover for her teeth as she bites.
Dr. Egress yells, while Chad screams like a woman. Carley releases blood fills her teeth and mouth. She forces Marcus to his knees as she pokes her finger with a sharp fingernail.
She releases a single drop of blood onto his tongue.
MARCUS
Thank you.
Marcus’s eyes turn to bloodshot yellow, as he looks at Chad. He smiles showing his new teeth.
BLACK
Chad’s high pitched scream is followed by a crunch.
DR. EGRESS (V.O.)
Fascinating.
-
LOGLINE: Two people argue constantly until a fateful event occurs.
ESSENCE: Both parties have been hiding their true feelings about the other, each convinced the other thinks they are enemies.
SCENE ONE:
INT. FRANK’S LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Frank’s living room is crowded with people, most holding cocktails and small plates of hors d’oeuvres. A wall of glass creates a gorgeous backdrop of the lights and beauty of the city at night. The women’s jewels sparkle as they laugh, talk, and wander around the room, making sure their haute couture clothing is properly admired by all. The men, look very much alike in their suits and dress shirts, set apart mainly by the outrageousness of their ties and whether or not they have a beard or mustache.
The front door opens and CARLEY enters. She waves at a few of the people and Marcus, the host and owner of the apartment.
Marcus picks a martini off the bar, strides purposely toward Carley and takes hold of her elbow.
MARCUS
My bedroom’s this way.
Carley jerks her elbow away, releasing it from Marcus’s grip.
CARLEY
Not even dinner first?
MARCUS
Are you assuming I would want to put you on my bed and not your coat? Humph. If you give me your coat and purse, I’ll give you this martini and put your things on my bed.
CARLEY
Thank you, kind sir. That drink does look inviting.
Marcus take Carley’s coat and purse, hands her the drink and heads toward the bedroom door. Carley, sipping on the drink, sits down on the couch’s arm and starts chatting with the people around her.
Marcus returns from the bedroom, picks up another martini from the bar, walks to the wall of glass and stares at the cityscape.
MARION, one of the guests, joins Marcus. She slips her hand around his arm and draws him close. He looks at her quizidly, shakes his head and removes her arm.
MARION
What’s wrong?
MARCUS
I just realized something my heart’s known for quite a while, but my consciousness didn’t. Excuse me.
Marcus looks over at Carley who looks up at the very same time. Carley puts her drink on the coffee table and joins Marcus.
Marcus smiles, grabs Carley around the waist, pulls her to him and kisses her passionately. She pushes him back, looks at him intently, then leans forward to return the kiss.
-
QE#6 – First Draft
LOGLINE: Reconciling differences isn’t easy.
ESSENCE: Diverse types can overcome difficulties and get together.
SCENE: Carley’s toughness links to Marcus’ being commanding.
Marcus’ being apologetic links to Carley’s politeness.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – MORNING
ALICE pours coffee for CARLEY, who finishes her breakfast at the counter.
ALICE
Did you want pie or fruit with that?Carley can’t decide.
She refills MARCUS’ coffee. He eats breakfast in a nearby booth and reads a paper.
MARCUS
There’s more sugar in the fruit than the pie.ALICE hikes past Carley.
CARLEY
He should mind his own
business. I’ll have yogurt.Alice brings her yogurt.
MARCUS
That’s even worse.Carley takes two bites of her yogurt. Puts cash beside her plate. Picks up a toothpick and exits.
EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY
Carley climbs in her car.
Marcus strolls by.
CARLEY
I bet you don’t hassle males
like you do females.MARCUS
It’s easy to have insufficient information.CARLEY
Where have I seen you before?He glances at her backseat and sees a police uniform in a drycleaners bag.
MARCUS
In a lineup?CARLEY
Why were you picked up?MARCUS
Nothing they could prove.CARLEY
What did you do?MARCUS
I usually do only what I want to.
I was at the wrong place. Wrong
time. Or right place and time.CARLEY
I’m sure you know which.MARCUS
Depends who’s looking.
You’re with the local P.D.CARLEY
And you must be a detective.MARCUS
Please. I have to work for
a living. I work undercover.He holds up a badge.
CARLEY
But you are a detective.MARCUS
Driving around interviewing gets
old. No skin in the game. Better to
get down in the dirt with folks
who try to get away with something.CARLEY
That explains your back and
forth about right or wrong.MARCUS
I tend to let people
do what they’re best at.CARLEY
You mean you send folks to jail.MARCUS
If they’re so inclined, I
don’t stop them.She glances around and sees no other cars in the lot
CARLEY
Need a ride?MARCUS
Can you drop me off at the station?She sees a pistol tucked in his boot.
CARLEY
Which department are you with?MARCUS
State.CARLEY
A state cop. You do high-end political stuff.MARCUS
Sometimes.CARLEY
What brings you here? One of our cases?Carley drives them a few blocks and pulls into her police station parking lot.
As they exit the front seat, Marcus pops her trunk and moves to the back of her car.
Puzzled, she follows, cautiously looks in the trunk, sees a pile of mail.
Her eyes bulge. She gasps. Hugs herself with her arms.
CARLEY
What the hell!MARCUS
Checks stolen from mail boxes
in the apartment next door to you.CARLEY
How? What? Why?MARCUS
We’re in it because it’s a sensitive cop
case. The grand jury you testified
before indicted your partner Spivak.CARLEY
For shooting that unarmed
Castro kid last month.She shakes her head at the stolen mail.
CARLEY
But why this?Marcus shows her video on his cellphone.
MARCUS
Last night we spotted Spivak planting this in your car.CARLEY
But why?MARCUS
His lawyer must think it’ll discredit your testimony.CARLEY
You got him for witness tampering.She leans against the car. Holds her head with her hands.
He unfolds a plastic bag. Fills it with the envelopes. Takes it inside.
A few minutes later he returns.
MARCUS
May I take you out to dinner tonight?Carley smiles, clearly embarrassed.
CARLEY
Of course. I had no idea …MARCUS
How about I swing by at seven?CARLEY
Okay. Here, I’ll give you my address.MARCUS
I’ve known it for a long time. # -
Joe’s QE 6 Scene
What I learned doing this assignment that improved my writing is that simply practicing makes each assignment easier
Logline: Flying reconnaissance in a stealth jet, Carley and Marcus discuss deal with multiple life-and-death issues
Essence: The flight is the crucible of their budding relationship
Scene:
EXT. U2 JET IN FLIGHT – DAY
Flying above the clouds.
INT. U2 JET COCKPIT – DAY
CAPTAIN CARLEY BREZNEV, 40, calm and focused, pilots the jet. Beside her sits Lieutenant MARCUS RILEY, 40’s, stiff, troubled, bent over a screen flashing a message.
CARLEY
(into helmet radio)
Climbing to 50,000. Please acknowledge.
RADIO TOWER
Roger. Careful, Breznev. You’re in range of their radar.
CARLEY
Copy that. I can handle whatever they throw at us.
Glances at Marcus.
CARLEY
Interesting reading?
MARCUS
We have a mole. We can probably figure out who. A test of some kind.
CARLEY
They shouldn’t be looking at me just because my grandfather was Russian.
MARCUS
50,000 still puts us in radar range. 70, I say.
CARLEY
How about you trust your commanding officer’s judgment?
MARCUS
How about ANY of us could be the mole?…Sorry, Captain.
They exchange suspicious glances.
A gauge jumps. Both notice.
MARCUS
We’re being jammed. Evasive action.
CARLEY
(into radio)
Bird to Tower. Radio silence until we clear target. Not taking any chances.
RADIO TOWER
Roger.
MARCUS
As soon as we entered the target zone. Like they knew we were coming. That narrows it down to the crew, in my book.
CARLEY
Maybe I should take it up to 70?
MARCUS
Maybe you should have when I–
CARLEY
Taking us to 70. Above any radar. On MY order, your observation.
Gives him a warning glance; don’t mess with your commanding officer.
Marcus sets a clock countdown. Presses the button. Countdown clock: 5:00, then 4:59…4:58…
MARCUS
5 minutes to complete surveillance and head home. Maybe do a victory lap since a lot rides on this mission.
CARLEY
We’ll be out of here in 4, sidekick. Capturing images starting…now. Good call on climb to 70.
Several cameras start clicking off one photo after another.
MARCUS
Sorry to bring this up now, but = Why not me?
CARLEY
Clarify, Lieutenant.
MARCUS
You could have had Morse or even Rodriguez here by promoting me. You know I was the best candidate for the officer training. But you promoted Rodriquez instead, and so you got me for this mission.
CARLEY
How about, you aren’t a yes man?
MARCUS
Begging your pardon, sir, but neither is either one of them.
CARLEY
Ok. Maybe I just glanced at the promotion roster and poked a finger. I don’t remember.
MARCUS
Don’t remember who you wanted on a mission we may not return from?
MARCUS’S SCREEN
“Despite Russian ancestry of Captain Hain, she is eliminated as possible mole.
CARLEY
Maybe I didn’t know what I wanted.
He looks directly at her.
MARCUS
I felt betrayed. At first.
CARLEY
Eyes on the gauges, soldier.
MARCUS
Then later, I felt– What the…?
Marcus stares at the gas gauge, in the red zone.
MARCUS
We’re nearly on fumes. We should have plenty…
They stare at each other, wide-eyed.
MARCUS
Frazier is the mole!
CARLEY
The gentleman who fills our tank?
MARCUS
He made sure we won’t make it back. But we’ll figure a way around that. Right?
CARLEY
Why the Hell didn’t you notice that earlier, soldier?
MARCUS
I was…distracted. My imagination has been running wild over…my…being here and all.
Carley glances at the countdown clock.
CARLEY
Like Hell we won’t make it back.
Glances at the countdown clock.
CARLEY
Too soon to break radio silence. Sorry I got you into this mess.
The jet jolts, hit from below, slamming down, then forward in their seats.
CARLEY
We’re hit! Have to ditch. I’ll take us in, don’t worry. Guide me.
Marcus pulls up a map on his screen.
MARCUS
300 degrees! Now!
Carley pulls the jet into a sharp turn. Smoke billows past the window.
MARCUS
The field! There! Bring her down!
They crash land.
MARCUS
I’m glad I’m with you. If this is our last…you know.
Pulls a rifle from behind her seat.
CARLEY
Nobody’s dying on my watch.
Marcus pulls out a knife and a pistol.
MARCUS
I’m going before you do.
Their eyes meet.
MARCUS
I…care.
CARLEY
I guess that’s why I wanted you here…I care, too. I’m retiring early. I want children. Are you interested?
MARCUS
No, sorry, I’m not.
CARLEY
Oh. All right then.
MARCUS
No, I mean, not interested in retirement. In you, yes. And children. Yes. Yes. Yes. Six or eight or twelve…all at once, if you like.
She glances out the window.
CARLEY
Soldiers! We’re going to be all r…wait…
MARCUS
I don’t recognize those uniforms, but I do the guns. American. They’re holding them wrong. They are not professionals.
They turn and look out the other side.
CARLEY
More soldiers. Different uniforms. I don’t recognize those either. In case this is the last thing…I do…
She looks into his eyes.
MARCUS
With all my heart-throbbing, sky-jumping, happy being, I do…too.
They kiss.
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QE#6 – Second Draft
LOGLINE: Reconciling differences isn’t easy.
ESSENCE: Diverse types can overcome difficulties and get together.
SCENE: Carley’s toughness links to Marcus’ being commanding.
Marcus’ being apologetic links to Carley’s politeness.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – MORNING
WAITRESS pours coffee for CARLEY, who finishes her breakfast at the counter.
WAITRESS
Did you want pie or fruit with that?CARLEY
Not sure.Waitress refills MARCUS’ coffee. He breakfasts in a booth. Pretends to read a paper.
MARCUS
There’s more sugar in the fruit than the pie.CARLEY
Yogurt, please.
Portion size is the main thing.Waitress brings her yogurt.
MARCUS
That’s better.Carley stares at him as she eats her yogurt, puts cash beside her plate, picks up a toothpick and exits.
EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY
Carley checks her tires and in her car.
Marcus strolls by and looks her way.
CARLEY
Pardon me. But do you
hassle males like you do females?MARCUS
Only when necessary.CARLEY
I’ve seen you before.MARCUS
In a lineup?CARLEY
That’s it. Why were you picked up?MARCUS
Nothing they could prove.CARLEY
What did you do?MARCUS
Usually what I want to.
I was at the right place and time.CARLEY
I’m sure you know which.MARCUS
Depends who’s looking.
You’re with the local P.D.CARLEY
So you are a detective.MARCUS
Please. I have to work for
a living. I do undercover.He holds up his badge.
CARLEY
But you’re still a detective.MARCUS
Driving around interviewing gets
old. No skin in the game. Better
to get down in the dirt and see
to it bent folks don’t win.CARLEY
You care about right or wrong.MARCUS
I tend to let people
do what they’re best at.CARLEY
So you can put them in jail.MARCUS
If they’re so inclined, I assist.She glances around and sees no other cars in the lot
CARLEY
Can I offer you a lift?MARCUS
Would you mind you dropping me at the station?She sees a pistol tucked in his boot.
CARLEY
Which P.D. are you with?MARCUS
State.CARLEY
Then you work high-end political stuff.MARCUS
Unfortunately.CARLEY
You got something on a local?Carley drives them a few blocks and pulls into her police station parking lot.
As they exit the front seat, Marcus pops her trunk and moves to the back of the car.
CARLEY
What the hell!Puzzled, she runs to the back of her car. Cautiously looks in the trunk. Sees a pile of mail.
Her eyes bulge. She gasps.
CARLEY
They put it in the wrong car.Hugs herself with her arms.
MARCUS
Checks stolen from mail boxes
in the apartment next door to you.CARLEY
How? What? Why?MARCUS
I’m sorry. It’s a sensitive cop
case. The grand jury you testified
before indicted your partner Spivak.CARLEY
For shooting that unarmed
Castro kid last month.She shakes her head at the stolen mail.
CARLEY
Why would he do that?Marcus shows her video on his cellphone.
MARCUS
Last night we caught Spivak planting this in your car.CARLEY
But why?MARCUS
His lawyer must think it’ll discredit your testimony.CARLEY
You got him for witness tampering.She leans against the car. Holds her head with her hands.
He unfolds a plastic bag. Fills it with the mail. Takes it inside.
A few minutes later he returns.
She grabs him and kisses him. He kisses her back.
CARLEY
May I take you out to dinner tonight?He smiles, clearly embarrassed.
MARCUS
I’m sorry I strung you along about this.CARLEY
How about you swing by at seven?MARCUS
Let’s meet at the restaurant.Carley is not so sure about that.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Tom Wilson.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Tom Wilson.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Tom Wilson.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by
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