Day 27 Assignments

[Gerry Cousins]

A Gerry Cousins – Solved Scene Problems Lesson 27

What I learned doing this assignment: If you don’t look carefully, you won’t see the forest from the trees. Do the work. Read and reread diligently with a different goal each time.

I think of all the scenes in my stage play, MARFA LIGHTS, the one that needed the most work was the last scene, which was completely written anew for this class. What I found were two out of the four listed problems:

Basic Scene Problem

Cliché Scene

This last scene in the play which is about making a choice, incorporates two+ telephone conversations which are essential to the ending. This is a basic scene problem and usually a cliché. I thought about it and thought about it until I added an action to each conversation which went a long way solved the issues for me. The balance of that scene, past the phone calls, had to be that much more emotionally powerful to carry it through to the end of the play.

The purpose for the scene is delivered. It absolutely moves my story forward. There is conflict and a clear scene arc.

[Carol Dougherty]

Carol Dougherty Solved Scene Problems

What I learned doing this assignment: These are a couple of scenes that were added to the last act in the past few days. Although Michael was introduced in the second act, he hasn’t been a major player until now, and these two scenes set the tone for the working relationship between Pen and Michael. There have been some major changes in the original storyline, and for Pen to get to the final climax and have the resolution work, she has to go through this conflict with Michael. The two scenes have the work of each scene, and they also have to lay the groundwork for what comes later in her relationship to Kate, because everything in one way or another, ties back to that – even this relationship. The suggested questions helped to tighten the focus and keep me on track.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY – IMMEDIATELY AFTER

Pen enters the conference room, which is already crowded with actors, stage management, designers, and staff. It is set up with a table and chairs in the center for the actors, director, and stage management to sit during the read through. There are other chairs around the room, as well as floor and wall space for younger members of the company who aren’t in the play but want to sit in.

Everyone is crowded around another table that has the set and costume designs, so no one sees the scowl on Pen’s face as soon as she sees Michael. She immediately relaxes her facial muscles and goes over to him.

PEN

Hello, Michael.

Michael turns from the design table. Gone is the smart aleck attitude Pen remembers. He is respectful and serious, as well as a little wary.

MICHAEL

Pen. It’s good to see you. Thank you –

PEN

(polite and cool)

There’s nothing to thank me for. Excuse me, I need to see Jacky before we start.

She crosses the room to give Jacky a brief hug. He gives her a knowing smile.

JACKY

Welcome home, Pen. We’ve missed you.

PEN

Thanks, Jacky. I’ll have to come in for one of your omelets soon.

JACKY

Any time.

PEN

Unusual for you to be at a reading, isn’t it?

Jacky glances at someone behind Pen and start to speak.

STAGE MANAGER

Seats, please.

JACKY

(with a grin)

Later.

He gives her a pat on the arm and takes a seat near the door. Pen takes a seat across from Michael at the table where the four other actors are already seated.

Kate sits further down the table, between Sebastian and Sandy. Pen tries to keep her focus on the page and not on Kate. She finds it difficult after being away so long, not to look for changes in her.

As the reading begins, we hear the murmur of the voices, but not the lines. We watch the reading from Pen’s POV, as she studies Kate and Sebastian, with occasional glances at Sandy, Michael, and Peter, who plays her new husband in the play.

Michael’s line readings occasionally startle her. She struggles to hide her irritation at how different he was from Terry. She manages to make it to the end. The audience in the conference room applauds at the end as they always do, no matter how good or bad it is.

STAGE MANAGER

Sebastian has a few things to say. Copies of the rehearsal schedule are on the end of the table. Please be sure to pick one up on your way out. Thank you.

SEBASTIAN

Welcome back, everyone. This will be the first season in this theatre that we’ve done without Terence. I, for one, will find that very difficult, and I ask for your understanding if at times I am sharp or short with any of you.

(he looks around and makes eye contact with everyone in the room before he continues)

I especially want to welcome back Penelope, who will be taking on the Herculean task of playing both Amanda in Private Lives and the title role in Hamlet.

(looks directly at Pen)

It’s good to have you back, Penelope.

(nods to everyone)

Thank you for your avid attention during the reading.

Everyone gets up and either leaves the room to return to work or chats or goes back to the design table.

Michael intercepts Pen on her way to the door.

MICHAEL

Pen, I wonder if we could talk?

Pen sees the lines in his face that make him look a bit haggard. The golden glow he’d had in the summer was long gone.

PEN

Alright.

MICHAEL

Could we have a coffee in the green room?

PEN

Fine.

She turns and leads the way out the door and Michael follows.

CUT TO:

INT. GREEN ROOM – DAY – IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING

Pen and Michael are seated in two chairs near the window, coffee mugs in their hands. Pen is coolly polite and Michael is still serious and respectful to Pen.

PEN

What is it you want to say?

MICHAEL

I was surprised you agreed to work with me.

PEN

Why is that?

MICHAEL

I got the impression you hated me.

PEN

Did you?

MICHAEL

Yes. Did Sebastian force you to do this?

PEN

(lifts her eyebrows)

Does it matter?

MICHAEL

To me it does.

PEN

Why?

(snaps at him)

What’s the matter, Michael? Did you want me to fall all over you with joy, or did you think I’d come after you with a knife?

Michael looks down. Pen takes a long drink of her coffee. When he looks up his eyes are wet. She tries not to show her surprise.

MICHAEL

Neither. As much as I want to act at this theatre, I don’t want to cause you any further pain.

PEN

Funny. You didn’t seem to have any problem causing Terry any pain, did you?

MICHAEL

I deserve that.

PEN

Yes. You do. I warned you at the opening night party. You were quite scornful of Terry at that point.

MICHAEL

I was. Later, I found out he’d asked the company not to give me such a hard time about Laurence. He said it was a private matter, not a public one, and he asked them to respect his request.

PEN

(puts her mug down and sits up very straight)

I never heard that.

MICHAEL

Ask around, they can tell you. I wanted to apologize to him, Pen, but Laurence went ballistic when I told him that. I left Laurence that same night. It ended up being the night Terry died, so I never got to tell him.

Pen controls herself so as not to react to what he says, not in front of him.

PEN

Very sad.

MICHAEL

I regret what I did to Terry, more than I can say.

PEN

And why would I believe you, Michael?

MICHAEL

I guess you wouldn’t.

PEN

(leans forward, voice very quiet)

I agreed to act with you Michael. Why I chose to do so is absolutely none of your bloody business. I’m a professional. I keep my word. I do my job. That’s all you ever need to know.

(stands)

Thank you for the coffee.

Pen stalks out of the green room, leaving Michael staring into his coffee cup, which is untouched.

CUT TO:

[Ra]

M.M.’s Solved Scene Problems

What I learned is 4 different ways to look at scenes, but no details or examples.

What I did NOT learn and what could have been very beneficial in this lesson was more detail in each of the different strategies depicted in scenes from films.

For example, instead of a partial list, describe in more detail the “interest techniques” (intrigue, suspense, surprise, betrayal, etc.) and give film scenes with examples of those techniques. Another suggestion was to challenge the character through a goal, needs, values, wound, and physically, which really needs more explanation. Again, no examples of scenes in films were given.

It’s not enough to just mention some words – film scene examples are needed (as was done in earlier lessons) to relate the technique to existing films.

I felt this lesson was just a superficial summary to add another lesson to get the 29. It was disappointing – the first time — after taking a number of courses here.

Here are some scenes that needed improvement and the strategies used to upgrade them.

A. Basic Scene Problems: Added in after Emilio is expelled and kicked off the team, the last inning of the college championships to create tension (Emilio comes back to cause trouble) and to make the agent and scout conversations more interesting rather than talking to the coach in his office or on the phone.

B. Weak Scenes: Bella’s first scene learning about the pro life movement shows her in the office and later outside the fence of an abortion clinic. The office scene was cut and tightened up to where she becomes an activist by talking to the directors outside the fence.

C. Scenes That Don’t Challenge the Characters: I strengthened the wedding scene where Emilio’s family crowd around her leaving Bella alone to add the scene where Bella dances with Luke. Instead of Inez telling Emilio to act (there are other scenes of her directing her son and his doting on his mother’s every word), he throws a punch at Luke instead of cutting in. Bella is horrified and when no one helps him, she takes ice from a champagne bucket on the table and puts it in a linen napkin to hold to Luke’s swollen face. More anger from Emilio but this time Inez calms him down and she tells Bella to go to her husband. Then Inez’s goons throw Luke out.

D. Cliché Scenes: Proposal in the restaurant was done too many times, to it was changed to one in the gun range where Emilio and Bella shoot their targets, and then when they press the button that automatically brings the paper target to them, a written proposal is on it and he kneels and holds out the ring.