Day 28 Assignments.

[Danielle Dillard]

What I learned most about this assignment is refining my script. I’m currently working on better dialogue between my characters (especially my protagonist and her mother, and my protagonist with her children) to capture stronger emotion within the scenes.

[Gerry Cousins]

Gerry Cousins – The Chronological Edit

Well, I didn’t fly through it. But it’s done! Probably could use still another chronological edit before I send it out. I’ve already set a date for a private reading and am looking forward to hearing the voices of all seven characters. The difference between this script of my play, MARFA LIGHTS, from where I started, and where I am now is positively remarkable.

[Carol Dougherty]

Carol Dougherty’s Chronological Edit

What I learned doing this assignment: What I’ve been learning all along is especially relevant in doing this assignment – that everything in the script: the flow, the clarity, the description, the dialogue is all interconnected. One of the things I do to help me figure out where the problem areas are is to read it out loud, including the description. It’s obvious that the dialogue benefits from that, but it’s surprising how it even helps with checking out the description (I realize what I thought was in there but wasn’t), the flow (when I stumble over things there is usually a problem), and the clarity (if it confuses me at all it will definitely confuse someone else).

Main improvements:

Occasionally I do find that I’ve left something out that is in my mind’s eye, but not on the page. However, the overall flow and clarity are what I’ve worked on most. Finding those places where the transitions don’t move seamlessly, feel awkward, and then fixing them.

As it stands, my script is too long, so I need to work further on what is essential and still maintain the flow and clarity.

With the dialogue I did go through to make sure I maintained that line between not being too on the nose yet getting the point across. There were some places I had to work on that, especially in the early scenes in which the groundwork is being laid for the rest of the story.

[Gerry Cousins]

Gerry Cousins – Ready for Script Exchange Version 1

I have a straight play—not a screenplay—and I would like to partner-up with someone in the group. I used this class to do a completely new version of the script using the techniques incorporated in this course. The difference is remarkable. Most of you are screenwriters and I don’t know if you’d be interested in a two-act stage play, but if you are, please email me at secretknowledge@aol.com.

Also, I will be away from 10/8 through 10/15/22 and would be happy to take your work with me, if I get it by tomorrow, Friday. Otherwise, it would have to wait until I return..

Looking forward to
exchanging work with a partner or partners

[Ra]

M.M.’s Chronological Edit

What I learned is how to use the high speed writing rules on this chronological edit.

I considered changing the opening scene to make the story chronological from the beginning, but like the pre-resolution scene as the opening scene so I kept it. As this was not a complete dialogue-filled screenplay since I am writing the foundation for my sequel to one of my novels, I did not approach the edit in that way. I like the chronology the way it is but will do a more thorough third draft complete with dialogue. That way, the fully-written scenes will show me if there are any gaps or if I need more clarity.