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Day 3 Assignments
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11 Replies
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CLOSE ON the red of the Coronavirus pulling back to an AERIAL SHOT of the Manhattan sunrise.
EXT. SUMMIT – GARDEN ROOF- SUNRISE
IBRAHIM AL HARBI and his ten year old son OMAR pray as the sun rises behind the crowded skyline of Long Island City wishes good morning to a pandemic locked down Manhattan.IBRAHIM
The Summit brings us closer to God.
And on top of Manhattan because he must be in control. CLOSE on his Muslim prayer beads, sparkling with black diamond and gold, something his Saudi relatives would consider idolatrous, but it works here. His 10 year old daughter ASTRIDE works on the roof garden with KISELE FELDMAN, also ten years old.
KISELE
Nature is our God.Ibrahim clenches his fist with this blasphemy but prepares the prayer mats.
SANDRINE, his wife, and DELPHINE, the other triplet, are doing band exercises with JAKE LA ROCHE, a handsome 40 year old trainer whose turquoise eyes charm anyone.
IBRAHIM
Turn off the music. Prayer time.
Jake switches his phone to loud, resonant call to prayers in Arabic as the women twist and stretch more vigorously.
IBRAHIM
Off, now!
Jake is a people pleaser, so he salutes and mumbles “rain check,” to the ladies.
JAKE
You’re the boss. They know what to do, or not. Damn Best Butt Ever, they got the wings of angels! I gotta client uptown. Later.Jake flies off the roof like a hornet on speed.
The ladies finish their exercises gracefully as Ibrahim and Omar go through their rituals on the wings of angels because the other four members join them. Ibrahim blows kisses to everyone, avoiding contact, puts on an N95 mask, takes the elevator, gets his car out of the garage, and drives on the FDR.
Sixty-something BOAT BOB splashes on to the scene at sunrise. The HOOK could be BB pulling a fish out of the East River as he camps disguised as a homeless man. He decamps his homemade tent beside the East River, Cloroxing everything so the park police won’t take note and smell humanity, and transforming himself into a clean, middle-aged, middle income hiker with a large backpack, expensive sneakers, and fashionable jogging outfit. A fancy electric car slows down and veers off the FDR. BB gets in the back seat. Ibrahim is driving. It is strange that they say nothing as they drive through north Manhattan and on to the GW Bridge where BB’s eyes light up. CLOSE ON You are not alone. Call 911.
EXT. IBRAHIM’s CAR – DAY
Ibrahim picks up Boat Bob, quickly transformed from a homeless man camping out by the East River Esplanade to a clean, sixty-year-old hiker with a big backpack. Ibrahim is always immaculately dressed, stressing the contrast between them.
EXT. GW BRIDGE – DAY
Looking at the signs and the net.IBRAHIM
Suicide is haram in Islam unless it is Jihad. You are not alone. Call 911.BB
This is the choice place for non-essential New Yorkers to commit suicide. Falling off this magnificent, famous GW bridge is more dramatic. And it’s like winning the lottery—a tiny chance you will be saved by global attention.IBRAHIM
Don’s say commit because you can’t criminalize the desperate acts of the marginalized mentally ill. The politically correct say complete suicide.
BB
I like death too much to end it forever. I need to keep enjoying it as long as I can. But then I flunked out of school with Incompletes.They notice Jake running with his client.
IBRAHIM
Now there’s a man who uses every second. He was training my family at dawn on the roof.Once on the Jersey shore, Jake leaps up the side rocks and pockets a small sharp basalt rock from the Palisades cliffs.
BB
What will Jake do with that stone?
IBRAHIM
Fermez la bouche. It’s a pandemic!BB
What could I do?BB covers his face and soul with a face shield and N95 mask. He pulls sanitizers out of his backpack and refills them with condensed COVID as if he were methodically preparing for a camping trip.
EXT. PALISADES – DAY
Ibrahim and BB watch LITONYA LENAPE, a geologist at the Earth Observatory who boulders up a tough section of the rocks, exhibiting superhuman strength. They honk once she jumps down. She gets into the car with a bag of rocks. No hellos, or how are you, this world-class 45 year old rock climber is a woman of direct discourse and magnificent muscles, crackling with cognitive brilliance.LITONYA
I love nature. I would kill my fracking father again. I am not reformed after seven years in jail.BB
After seven months in jail I transformed into a better citizen. By the way, those are beautiful stones—they’d make gorgeous jewelry.LITONYA
I hate jewels and cosmetics.BB
You don’t need them because you are naturally beautiful.It is important to pretend to be honest, matching her on the nose dialogue with his friendly rejoinders, but the truth is that he deserves to spend seven lifetimes in jail, or worse. Ibrahim narrows his black eyes in the rear view mirror and BB gets the signal to shut down into servile silence so the two of them can discuss their business for the EvergreenEnergy Company etc.
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Amy’s Opening Scene is Irresistible!
What I learned doing this assignment is this might possibly be the best possible way to open my movie.
FADE IN:
INT. – UNIVERSITY SCIENCE LAB – DAY
A large tube-like machine WHIRS LOUDLY. It’s huge. It takes up almost the whole room. It’s a suppercollider.
An old man is running back and forth frantically. This is Dr. Smitty.
DR. SMITTY
TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!
A young woman stands next to the machine unfazed, smug. It’s MEAGAN DONOHUE, 30s. She is Dr. Smitty’s teacher’s assistant.
A man holding a camera stands frozen in place, not sure what to do. This is WBEN anchor Andrea Richards’ cameraman, MARK.
DR. SMITTY
(to Meagan)
COME ON YOU DOLT! JUST DON’T STAND THERE.
Dr. Smitty runs towards the machine.
He reaches for the switch, but…
ANDREA RICHARDS, 30s, suddenly pops out of the machine. The normally quaffed news anchor is disheveled and completely disoriented.
Meagan frowns. Mark stands with his mouth open.
DR. SMITTY
THANK GOD!
ANDREA
I’m back!
DR. SMITTY
What happened? What did you see?
ANDREA
I’ve got to go home. I need to talk to my family.
Andrea bolts out of the lab.
DR. SMITTY
Wait! Mrs. Richards, we need to talk about this.
INT. – RICHARDS HOME LIVING ROOM – DAY
Andrea’s husband, JOSH, 30s is on his phone. Her son, BENJAMIN (12) watches a baseball game on TV. Her daughter, CHLOE (10) struggles with her math homework.
The DOOR can be HEARD SLAMMING shut.
Everyone jumps.
Andrea rushes in.
ANDREA
Thank God you’re all here!
Andrea runs over to Josh and throws her arms around him. She kisses him passionately.
JOSH
Hi, honey. Is everything okay?
ANDREA
It is now.
Andrea runs over to Chloe and squeezes her really tight.
CHLOE
Mom, I cant breath.
She does the same to Benjamin.
BENJAMIN
What’s wrong with you, Mom? We just saw you this morning.
Andrea lets go of Benjamin and looks around the room.
ANDREA
I love you all so much. I’m going to start spending more time with you and not working so much.
JOSH
Honey, this is great, but what’s gotten into you?
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Elizabeth’s Opening Scene is Irresistible. Maybe. Actually, after I post, I’m going to write the other scenes from day 2 and see what they do. But, so as not to get further behind than I chronically am…
EXT. RETIREMENT HOME ESTATE – TWILIGHT
A tour bus winds heavily-flowered, manicured grounds. Passes a sign: “GARDENS BY THE WATER-Restful Living.” A fountain. Stops at the awninged entrance of…
…the main building. Stucco & soft-light, it could be a 5-Star hotel—but for wheelchairs & white-uniformed staff.
EXT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – ENTRANCE -SAME
A lift lowers. LAUREN, 24, leaps from it. Swirls a wheelchair into the waiting hands of a BUBBLY WORKER.
BUBBLY WORKER
(Fussing as she pushes)
Welcome back Don! Was getting out exactly what you needed?
(And)
Shall we go to your room first?
We can’t hear Don’s answer, with the lift screeching back up and a ruckus at the front of the bus—.
BUS DRIVER (O.S.)
Dr. Cummings! You need to wait for Lauren!
DR. ED CUMMINGS (O.S.)
(Pushes the bus door open)
What I need is out! We’re 20 minutes late!
But Lauren’s got this. Directs a WORKER to the lift’s next chair, as she rushes to help DR. CUMMINGS, 76, who—
Receded hair and overcoat. Circle Glasses. The beard. This could be Sigmund Freud, re-incarnate who—
Brushes Lauren off. Unsteady on the bus’ steps before he’s a rock star on solid ground. Even with huge grocery bags.
LAUREN
(Hovering, nonetheless)
Dr. Cummings! Can I help?
ED
No. Thank you. No.
A bag in each hand, Ed nods, polite to OTHER HELPFUL WORKERS as he sprightly rushes to the door of resting nirvana. Where he…
INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – FOYER – SAME
…is thwarted by a foyer filled with evening wear and sparkling conversation. Residents and families. The sound-system strains of (maybe) “If I had a Hammer”.
As Ed squeezes by woman on a knee scooter—
ED
Excuse me. Pardon.
But now recognizing the woman—
ED
Mae! A step forward! Less pain?
WOMAN (MAE)
Better every day!
ED
(Genuine)
Oh, wonderful. Fantastic.
WOMAN
Are you—
But Mae’s good news has freed Ed to move on. He tries to squeeze past a large, LOUD GROUP.
ED
(Louder)
Pardon! Excuse me!
The group doesn’t hear. So shifting both bags to one hand—
Ed turns a thin profile between the group and a LONELY MAN in a walker. Whose sad eyes—Ed can’t help it. Pained, Ed—
Grabs the arm/attention of a man in the group. DON WATERS, 70’s, wheelchair—from previous.
Indicating the lonely man—
ED
Don. Say, did you know Mack has one of those headlamps you need…
Watching Don turn to the man, Ed backs into A FRAIL WOMAN
ED
Oh! pardon me. I’m so sorry!
As Ed steadies the woman, now it’s an easel he bumps. Its framed announcement: “The Kingston Trio! HERE 7 PM!” …
…topples. Ed barely catches it—as WADE AND JUDY CLEVELAND, 70’s, Judy in heels and pearls—
WADE JUDY
ED! Dr. Cummings!
Their faces, lit up like Ed was their kid. Ed kisses Judy’s cheek. Shakes Wade’s hand.
ED
Judy. Wade
JUDY
Oh, Doctor! Sit with us. Please?
Wade watches Ed replace the announcement. Sees the sadness on Ed’s face. The yearning glance at the STAGEHANDS on a portable stage in the dining room.
WADE
(To Ed)
Our local three-some, right here!
ED
(Wincing)
I’d really love to. But I’ve got to get back. It’s—. Well—
JUDY
(helpfully)
Your book! Of course. You’re such an important man! So much psychological wisdom to share with the world. Wade and I wouldn’t dream of keeping you—
Wade pulls a handful of whisky samplers from a pocket—
WADE
But Henry McKenna would. Come on, Ed, just once? Some liquid fun?
Ed’s discomfort growing. And—as we hear SOUND-CHECKS riffs, Ed’s second heart-pluck glance at the dining room-turned concert arena. Something, here, deeply calls.
ED
My loss. Truly. But Wade, I want you to enjoy your beautiful bride.
Judy and Wayne clasp hands like teens. A half-century of affection as—
Ed’s face: now a shadow of loss layering—almost too much.
WADE
(Distracting)
Say—you have a publisher? I got a friend—
Ed’s impatience leaks—not quite as polite.
ED
Yes. Thank you. G’night.
His next turn is decisive. Only, literally in Ed’s face—
PAT
Dr. Eeeee! Paar-tyy!
PAT LOWE, 79, weathered, hippy motorcycle chick, is as incongruous, here, as fireworks at a funeral. And there’s obviously history between them. With everything Ed has—
ED
Pat. I know it’s not your choice in music. But I’m sure it’ll be good.
Ed steps to the side. Pat blocks. Another step that Pat blocks— palms on his chest. Ed goes rigid.
PAT
Don’t be a spaz, Ed. You really don’t want to miss this!
The WORK it takes to erect Ed’s Therapist Frame! We see.
ED
Yes, Pat. I do want to miss this.
(Draws her attention to—)
But you don’t want to miss…
…a TUX-CLAD WORKER with an appetizer tray.
Pat leaps at a crostini as Ed knew she would. As dining…
… doors open. People ahead of Pat! Pat grabs a handful of clams. Climbs over a wheelchair. Pushes to the front.
Ed’s years of practice—but still it astounds.
Ed turns again. This time into the open arms of LINDA, 82-delightfully demented.
LINDA
This music, Mr—! My life is complete! Dance with me?
But Linda’s suddenly concerned—
LINDA
Oh, dear. Mr.— I can’t remember—
Even more of Ed’s life’s work. Dementia, not the dancing. But the frame, here, is the Foxtrot, and—
Ed’s able lead (to, maybe, “Scotch and Soda.”) —
ED
(Soothing)
Dr. Cummings, Linda. I’m Dr. Cummings.
Linda finds herself again, for a moment, in Ed’s eyes, and her own body, beautiful movements long-etched in her soul.
And we know Ed will be here for as long as he’s needed. But we’re grateful when Lauren takes Linda’s arm and—
LAUREN
Mrs. Uptagraff. It’s showtime!
Lets Ed move again. Continue…
INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL – CONTINUOUS
…down a hall. A bit slower.
Nods at a few residents, one pushing a NUN, sitting on a bed with wheels. Everyone going the opposite direction from wherever Ed clearly feels very compelled to go.
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Janeen’s Opening Scene is Irresistible!
What I learned from this assignment is that the better I picture a scene, the longer my descriptions. This is a different scene than my Beat Sheet had, so I’ll have to shorten this up and update my beat sheet.
I opted for the Trick Opening. It gives me a chance to introduce the protagonist, antagonist, and Morgan’s husband, the acclaimed author in one scene.
Trick Opening: Morgan fantasizes she is more than a trophy wife.
VO that is unusual: Gavin talking about how much he loves to have Morgan on his arm — definitely defining her as a trophy wife while he smiles at her in silence reading while she does Waterman
Action Opening: The bustle of a red carpet event honoring Morgan’s husband.
OUTLINE
Daniel, the designer, is in the limo with two couples, Gavin and Morgan and another couple. He is putting the finishing touches on the other woman’s dress.
Gavin is talking to the other man, his editor, about how much he loves to have Morgan on his arm, talking up Daniel’s work which is why Daniel is doing the editor’s wife’s dress at the last minute.
Morgan is looking out the window of the limo since Daniel is chatting with the editor’s wife about how busy he is and how fabulous Morgan always looks in his clothes.
The limo stops and there is a red carpet. Gavin gets out, escorts Morgan out and the reporters press in, asking her when she knew she had such extraordinary powers, now that she’s four a way to cure childhood hunger, how long before she finds a way to stop world hunger — surely she can do it. Was she surprised she was going to be honored tonight? Has she heard from the President? The head of UNICEF? Will she be creating a class so that everyone can learn to help others as she has done?
The limo door opens and the usher helps her out. The reports are there, snapping photos. She smiles, beautiful, dazzling in the perfect dress. Gavin gets out and immediately the reporters start asking about his latest book that has turned the world of business upside down, netted him a Booker prize and were are rumors he may get the Pulitzer and possibly even a Nobel. He is appropriately polite and condescends to answer a number of the questions. He takes Morgan’s arm, gives it a little squeeze to pull her from her reverie, and continues to hold her hand as he holds court with the reporters. One of them asks if he’s brought his daughter tonight and he says, no, Morgan is the light of his life. His beautiful wife that is always there for him and always pleased with his success. She smiles photogenically, looking up with him in appropriate awe.
SCENE
INT. STRETCH LIMO – NIGHT
Inside a stretch limo, five people span the gamut from languid daydreamer to frenzied couture worker.
MORGAN DAY, beautiful, resplendent, aloof, stares into the night traffic of the city. She is seemingly oblivious to the conversation in the limo, but secretly steeling herself to show them all.
DANIEL RICHARDS, fashion designer extraordinaire, a delighted smile glued to his face, kneels on the floor of the limo, furiously working to hem, tack, fluff and primp a dress he has hastily designed for the woman opposite Morgan in the limo.
The woman flutters and delights in Richard’s attention to her dress while her husband, a BOOK EDITOR, is focused only on the man across from him, Gavin Day.
GAVIN DAY, fifteen years Morgan’s senior, a combination of George Clooney and James Bond, chats with his editor. He is superior to everyone in the limo, perhaps in the world.
GAVIN
Having a beautiful woman by my sidemakes me feel complete, alive. You must feel it too.
The editor looks at Morgan.
Gavin, eyebrows raised, looks at Daniel and the editor’s wife. The editor winces, quickly looking at his own wife.
BOOK EDITOR Of course. Absolutely.
GAVIN
Morgan is the perfect wife, and, Ireally believe, the perfect woman.
He looks at Daniel still working frenetically on the dress.GAVIN (CONT’D) When she’s wearing her favorite
designer, she complements me perfectly.
Daniel bobs his head slightly acknowledging the compliment, still working feverishly.
BOOK EDITOR
Thank you so much for the dress,Gavin. I could have never had a designer do
a dress for my wife in two days. You’re a miracle worker.
Gavin smiles. Daniel’s glued on smile momentarily morphs into a sneer.
GAVIN
No problem. I’ve been so busy, Ihadn’t even seen his creation for Morgan until the limo arrived…
Gavin’s voice fades.
EXT. STRETCH LIMO – NIGHT
The limo stops next to a red carpet. Reporters press in.
Gavin gets out, helps Morgan out of the limo. She is resplendent in her gown, serene, benevolent.
Cameras flash, videographers jockey for position. Questions are rapid fire, she has no time to answer before the next one tumbles over it.
REPORTER 1
Ms. Day, when did you know you hadsuch extraordinary powers?
REPORTER 2
Now that you’ve solved child povertyin the U.S., when will you turn your powers to world hunger? That will surely be next, right?
Morgan nods, smiles, aglow. Gavin fades out of the camera flashes, part of the backdrop.
REPORTER 3
You’re the honoree tonight. Howdoes that feel?
REPORTER 1
Have you heard from the President?REPORTER 2
Has the head of UNICEF contacted youabout extending your work into children’s health?
REPORTER 3
There are rumors you’ll be gettingthe Nobel this year.
REPORTER 1
Will you be asking the public toassist in these efforts? So many people want to help. A word from you…
EXT. STRETCH LIMO – NIGHT
CUT TO:
The driver opens the limo door, this time for real. Morgan exits the limo onto the red carpet.
She smiles, dazzling in the perfect dress. Cameras snap, but reporters wait silently.
Gavin follows her out of the limo. Reporters shout questions, jockey for position.
REPORTER 1
Gavin, your latest book has turnedthe business world upside down. What’s next?
REPORTER 2
You’re being honored tonight, is aPulitzer next?
Gavin smiles modestly, shakes his head slightly, everyone knows the Pulitzer is in the bag.
REPORTER 3 What about a Nobel?
Gavin signals for quiet.
GAVIN
Please, please, thank you for yourquestions. I’m here tonight to enjoy the gala. We’ll have a press conference tomorrow morning where I’ll answer all of your questions, including what’s next for me. My editor will give you the details.
Most of the reporters clamor for the cards the book editor is handing out like candy. His wife smiles proudly in her Daniel Richards original. No one notices her.
Daniel, sweaty and exhausted, has taken a seat in the limo. He pours himself a bourbon as the driver closes the limo door.
A reporter nods to Morgan, next to Gavin.
REPORTER 1
Is this your daughter, Mr. Day?GAVIN
No, no. This is my wife, Morgan,the light of my life. Doesn’t she look beautiful tonight?
He smiles proudly, drawing the reporters attention to Morgan’s head to toe visual perfection with a sweep of his arm.
Morgan smiles, looks up at Gavin with appropriate awe. She is the perfect trophy wife.
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BOB SMITHS OPENING SCENE IS IRRESISTIBLE
What I learned doing this assignment is…?
I learned that there is a highly useful criterion and rules for killer openings.
My choice of opening is a set up/twist opening combined with a contrast and action opening. What follows is the initial outline, then the scene.
Documentary footage of the Allies fighting the German Army.
EXT. A US ARMY BASE AMPHITHEATRE – DAY
Thousands of TROOPS in the audience.
MARLENE DIETRICH is at the microphone. Her show is already in progress. She tells the troops, “Hey, guys! Give those Nazis the licking they deserve!”
The Troops applaud.
Marlene Dietrich says, “Here is my song from “The Blue Angel”
Dietrich begins to sing “Falling in Love again.”
The troops applaud as the song begins.
Her song continues AS background for the following actions.
General Eisenhower (VO) announces:
EISENHOWER (VO)
“From General Order One-zero-six-seven:
“Denazification: All who have rendered public
support to the Nazi Party shall be barred from
public appearances.”
Dietrich’s song fades and ends.
EMIL JANNINGS appears at the US Headquarters Berlin, waving his Oscar statuette yelling to the guards: “Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! I won an Oscar!”
He tells the guards he wants to revive his acting career but the guards tell him he must be vetted and perhaps denazified.
Jannings proceeds to an interview with Major Kent Kershaw who is a fan but sticks to the business at hand. He tells and asks why did Jannings act in Nazi propaganda films. He tells Jannings that if his answers are not satisfactory, denazification would be required which would, in effect, kill all chances of reviving his acting to career. To answer Kershaw’s question, he tells of events during the production of “The Blue Angel.”
DOCUMENTARY FOOTAGE: US TROOPS BATTLE GERMAN TROOPS IN EASTERN FRANCE.
RADIO NEWSCASTER (VO)
While our Army advances over the Rhine River
into Germany, movie star and singer
Marlene Dietrich, herself of German and now
An American citizen does her share for the war effort as she entertains our troops.
EXT. AN ARMY BASE AMPHITHEATRE – NIGHT
A USO entertainment show for the US troops on the European front. MARLENE DIETRICH is at the microphone.
DIETRICH
Hey, guys! Give those Nazis the licking they deserve!
TROOPS hoot and applaud.
DIETRICH (CONT’D)
I became an American citizen,
you know.
Troops applaud.
DIETRICH (CONT’D)
I am going to sing to you a song
from “The Blue Angel” in which
I appeared with Emil Jannings.
Troops boo at the mention of Jannings.
DIETRICH
No, don’t do that. I asked him
to leave Germany with me and come
to America. I suppose he had his
reasons to not leave. But.
He might have been up here on stage
with me now. Instead of
hiding out somewhere in Berlin.
First, from the Nazis, now from
The Russians. He was a great actor
who won the first Oscar for Best Actor.
But enjoy the song from our film.
Dietrich sings “Falling in Love Again” continuously, it is background music until noted below.
GENERAL EISENHOWER (VO)
“From Joint Chief’s Order One-zero-six-seven:
“Denazification: All who have rendered
public support to the Nazi Party shall be barred from public appearances.”
Dietrich’s song fades and ends.
EXT. POST WORLD WAR 2 BERLIN U.S. ARMY HEADQUARTERS – DAY
Super: BERLIN – AMERICAN SECTOR – AUGUST, 1945
Letters on the building spell, U. S. ARMY HEADQUARTERS
MILITARY POLICE (M. P.’S) are on guard duty at the kiosk at the gate.
The figure of a man emerges from the surrounding rubble, walking toward the M. P.’s. He is EMIL JANNINGS, age 60. He carries an Oscar statuette.
The M. P.’s put their rifles at the ready to aim and shoot.
M. P. #1
Halt! Who goes there?
JANNINGS
(brandishing his Oscar statuette)
Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!
I won an Oscar.
The M.P.’s ease up and cross to Jannings.
JANNINGS (CONT’D)
Thank you, officers. I am Emil
Jannings.
M. P. #1
The actor?
JANNINGS
(reading from the Oscar)
“Best Actor,’ 1929 for “Last
Command” and “The Way of All
Flesh.”
M, P. #2
We need to see your papers.
JANNINGS
The Russians bombed Berlin back
into the Stone Age and you want
papers! Well, I have no papers!
I had hoped the Oscar would suffice
to confirm my identity.
M. P. #1
Of course it does. Why have you
come here?
JANNINGS
Isn’t it obvious? Why else do
people appeal to America? For
freedom! I have an acting career
to revive.
M. P. #2
He needs to be vetted.
JANNINGS
“Vetted”?
M, P. #2
Yes, you may need to be
denazified.
JANNINGS
Me? Denazified?
M. P. #1
Yes, you have to speak
with Major Kershaw.
JANNINGS
Major Kershaw?
M, P. #2
Major Kent Kershaw. He is
our Security Officer.
M. P #2 escorts Jannings through the gate and up to the front door of headquarters. They enter.
INT. U. S. ARMY HEADQUARTERS – OFFICE – DAY
Jannings is seated at the desk of Major Kent Kershaw, whose name and rank are on a name plate facing Jannings as does KERSHAW himself, seated at his desk.
Jannings has placed his Oscar on the Major’s desk.
Kershaw has a dossier file on Jannings open before him.
JANNINGS
It seems you already know more
about me than I know.
KERSHAW
Speaking personally, it’s an honor
to meet you, Mr. Jannings. “The
Blue Angel” is one of my favorite
movies. Your performance as the
professor was superb. I am
surprised you did not win an Oscar
for it.
JANNINGS
I am surprised an Oscar didn’t go
to Marlene Dietrich’s legs.
Both have short laugh.
KERSHAW
I’d like to know about the making
of “The Blue Angel.” But we have
business to discuss here.
I understand You want to live here in the American Sector.
JANNINGS
Yes, sir. East Berlin is a
Russian-dominated Hell Hole. I also
want to revive my acting career.
In fact, I may want to go back to
America. I lived in Hollywood, you
know.
KERSHAW
Well aware. However, before we can
give you these privileges, you have
to appear before the Commission. I
will advocate for you as best I can,
but you must explain, how did an
actor – a man of your stature – allow
himself to be used by the Nazis in
propaganda films.
JANNINGS
That’s easy. I did it in order to
survive. Had I refused, the Gestapo
would have carted me off to
God-knows-where.
KERSHAW
Fear.
JANNINGS
All Germans who weren’t Nazis were
living in fear. Now I am sixty years
old. I put up with twelve years under Hitler. I do not want to live in the
Soviet Sector for the rest of my life
under Stalin.
KERSHAW
Tell me about it. The Commission must
be satisfied that you do not need
denazifiation.
JANNINGS
What would de-nazifiqion entail?
KERSHAW
You could not make any more public appearance.
JANNINGS
You would end my acting career? But
it’s all that I live for. How can you
denazify me? I never was a Nazi!
KERSHAW
That is what you must demonstrate
to the Commission: how it happened
that you were used by the Nazis. But
first, I need to hear your story.
JANNINGS
Well, I’ll tell it as best as I can
remember. You’ll be pleased to know
my story goes back to the time of
the making of “The Blue Angel.” It
was 1929. Your Stock Market crash was devatating to Germany. Nazi Party
membership soared. I experienced the violence of the Stormtroopers, first
hand. It was on an evening, early in
the production, when Marlene Dietrich
took us all out to a night on the town. Marlene incited me even though we did
not get along.
INT. STUDIO SET OF “THE BLUE ANGEL – NIGHT
The crew has left.
Cast members linger, seated in a circle with director, JOSEF von STERNBERG. The are: Emil Jannings, KURT GERRON, and HANS ALBERS.
Jannings introduces each person as the camera pans and stops at each person mentioned.
JANNINGS (V.O.)
(continuing his story
to Kershaw)
There were Kurt Gerron, and director
Josef von Sternberg. Even Hans
Albers was there. His scenes were not scheduled to be shot, as yet. But
Hans would visit the set just to be
of support to his fellow actors. Hans
was an actor’s actor.
Marlene Dietrich enters.
Dietrich is dressed in characteristic tuxedo, tails, top hat. She smokes.
JANNINGS
Marlene, why are you dressed like that.
DIETRICH
It’s the only way a gentlemen should dress.
JANNINGS
What’s the ocassion?
DIETRICH
I am so thrilled to be playing the
part of the showgirl Lola Lola and
working with all of you, that I’d
like to take all of you out on the
town, and show you “the Berlin of
Lola Lola.”
JANNINGS
You mean “the Berlin of Miss Dietrich.”
DIETRICH
“Miaa Dietrich”! “Miss Dietrich”!
You all have my permission to call
me “Marlene.” I can ‘t stand the
formality. I am taking you out and
it is my treat because it is my first
leading role in a motion picture that
is the first “talkie” in Germany.
STERNBERG
Simultaneiously filmed in English for
the world to see you, my dear.
JANNINGS
You have a leading role, Marlene, but
as the star of “The Blue Angel,” I am
the one who should provide such largess
to the rest of the company and for you.
STERNBERG
Emil. Let Marlene provide largess. She
will soon be a star after “The Blue Angel.” I am taking Marlene back to Hollywood, to Paramount.
JANNINGS
But I am the star of “The Blue Angel.”
STERNBERG
No need to be defensive, Emil.
DIETRICH
(to Jannings)
And it is an honor to share the screen with you.
JANNINGS
Just don’t shove me off the screen.
DIETRICH
Of course, you are the star, Emil.
Allow me to host the star for a night
of fun.
GERRON
It is too much for any one person.
I suggest separate checks. And we
all pitch in to pay for Miss – uh,
for Marlene.
DIETRICH
I wont hear of it. My treat.
All ad-lib their thanks.
STERNBERG
Remember, Marlene. Watch what
you eat. You still need to lose
a few pounds.
DIETRICH
I plan to exclude Schwarzwald
Kirchtorte and continue my training
at Mahir Sabri’s Boxing Studio.
ALBERS
Sabri? The Turkish Boxing Champion?
DIETRICH
Yes, would you like to meet him? Or e
even join the studio to shed a few pounds?
JANNINGS
I have already taken off forty pounds.
DIETRICH
Time to lose next forty.
Jannings is not amused.
DIETRICH (CONT’D)
I’m only kidding, Emil.
DIETRICH
Anyway, I’ll get literature about his
studio for all of you. But for tonight,
It’s Club Silhouette! That’s where you’ll meet “the Einstein of Sex.”
GERRON
Who is that?
DIETRICH
Dr. Magnes Hirschfeld.
JANNINGS
(wryly)
I thought “the Einstein
Of Sex” was you, Marlene.
DIETRICH
I’ll take that as a compliment.
Emil, think of how the
straight-laced character you play –
Professor Rath – would regard Dr. Hirschfeld and the Club Sllhouette.
STERNBERG
That’s a good suggestion.
(to Jannings)
Take it as coming from the
Director, Emil.
JANNINGS
I have had years of experience.
I know how an actor prepares.
DIETRICH
Gentlemen, onward to the Club
Silhouette.
JANNINGS
Isn’t that a gay cabaret?
DIETRICH
You don’t have to be gay to enjoy it.
Lot’s of show business people will be
there.
INT. THE CLUB SILHOUETTE – NIGHT
The club is art deco with a brash Victorian bar of one piece of wood and mirrors, lavishly supplied with liquors.
On stage, a chorus line of DRAG QUEENS enter and begins a musical number.
Marlene Dietrich, Josef von Sternberg, Emil Jannings, Kur Gerron, and Hands Albers enter.
DR. MAGNUS HIRSCHFELD and his partner GEORGE wave to Dietrich inviting her and her party to join them. Hirschfeld calls to a waiter to move another table together with his own so that all may be seated together.
Dietrich introduces Dr. Hirschfeld to everyone in her pary, and they are seated, there is, emanating from the street outside
No sooner are they seated, are the sounds of a marching army. They are the NAZI BROWN SHIRTS who keep march to the une of the “Horst Wessel” which they sing.
They halt and stop singing in front of the Club Silhouette. Next, with homophobic curses they hurl rocks through the wiinds of the club. Glass shatters. The crowd in the club is paralyzed into silent fear.
Outside the Brown Shirts come to order and march forwar, again, sining th “Horst Wessl.”
The Club Silhouette crowd are relieved.
Hirschfeld speaks his mind.
NOTE: THIS IS PAGE 10
HIRSCHFELD
Luckily, no one was injured.
But when the Nazis take over –
which I fear is inevitable –
gays and Jews will be
annihiliated. And I am both.
ALBERS
You really think these fascist
idiots can take over a modern
nation like Germany?
HIRSCHFELD
It is because we dismiss them
as idiots that we don’t see
The power they have, and so
There is a surge in their
Followers.
GERRON
I am also a Jew and I can smell their
takeover coming. And these Nazi scum
call themselves the Master Race! Many
Jewish leaders are saying it is time
for us to go to Palestine.
HIRSCHFELD
I am going there to visit next year.
I am not religious but I want to see
the land of our heritage. But. I am skeptical of this Zionist philosophy
of return. There are Arabs there who don’t want us in Palestine even though Jews have lived in Palestine since before the land
was first called Palestine by the Romans. They are killing us there. There are even
pro-Nazi Arabs here in Germany who will reinforce Jew-hatred when they return home. .
ALBERS
In that case, where can anyone go?
I am not Jewish, but to the Nazis
I am a traitor to the Aryan race
because the love of my life is Jewish.
GERRON
I didn’t realize that Hansi is Jewish.
JANNINGS
This effects me too. My mother was born
in Russia and is of Jewish origin.
DIETRICH
You overlook one thing! If by some
remote chance they did take power, they
would have to stop their crazy racial
hatred. The German people would not
stand for it. They would have to change
their message.
HIRSCHFELD
You are mistaken, Marlene. The German
people have allowed the Nazi movement
to grow despite Hitler’s imprisonment
where he wrote “Mein Kampf” There are
more Germans who have read his book and
and are persuaded to his views than
there are Germans repulsed by it. My
advice to all of you is flee Germany
before they take power
ALBERS
I can’t live in any other country
but Germany – bad as it may become.
HIRSCHFELD
Are you willing to send Hansi abroad
for her own safety?
Albers does not answer.
JANNINGS
Like Hans, I don’t think I could
live anywhere else but Germany but
how do I survive the Nazis? My mother
is of Jewish origin.
HIRSCHFELD
For one thing, don’t talk about your
Jewish mother. You and Hans are actors, appear in a Nazi films.
JANNINGS
In other words, hide from the Nazis in
the open?
GERRON
How far do you go in cooperating with
an enemy in order tO save your life and
those of your family? What is morally permissible? I know a great Rabbi, I will ask him?
STERNBERG
Well, as a Jew, I am glad I can get
out of Germany and go home to America, to Hollywood.
DIETRICH
Take me with you.
STERNBERG
If Rudi permits.
DIETRICH
(to Hirschfeld)
Rudi’s my husband.
STERNBERG
We can find work for Rudi
in Hollywood as an Assistant
Director.
The music strikes up again
On stage, an M. D. enters.
M. C.
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the one and only Benny Brody.
Benny Brody, a Jewish comedian, enters.
BROD
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Did you hear this one? Hitler met
Jesus Christ. He asked Christ, “Tell
me: How did you feed 5,000 people
with just five loaves and two fish?”
Christ said to Hitler, “First, you tell
me: How did you make a the whole
German nation drunk without alcohol?”
GERRON
(to Brod, so that the
Whole audience can hear)
Well said, Benny! The Nazis are the
scum of the earth.
BROD
Well said, Kurt! But from here on
just remember, I did not write you
into my schtick. Stick to Marlene
Dietrich and “The Blue Angel.”
Some laughter.
JANNINGS
Impossible. I am the one who is
already stuck with Marlene Dietrich.
Because she is stuck to the director.
Some laughter and applause.
FADE OUT.
-
Michelle Damis Opening Scene is Irresistible.
What I learned is that it is challenging going into these assignments already having written a huge opening. I’m trying to trim and incorporate the assignments as best I can. I know what I’ve written is pretty big budget and complicated, so I may have to write a cheaper/simpler version as well, or go straight to Disney LOL
INT. STUDY/LIBRARY – NIGHT
An UNKNOWN MALE FIGURE sits in an expensive leather chair next to a fireplace. A well-aged book is wide open on his lap, the words, “Once Upon a Time” visible. SIBLINGS, 18yrs old, one female, one male, sit with uncertainty on the couch opposite.
MALE FIGURE(V.O.)
It’s time. Let’s begin. The year was…
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. CONCERT VENUE 1987 – NIGHT
DURAN DURAN on stage performing, “Hungry like the Wolf”. The crowd going crazy, a sea of 80’s fashion, and 80’s hair.
MALE FIGURE (V.O.)
1987? That’s not right.(sigh) Let me think(beat)umm…2022! Yes!
Clock face speeding forward, “Twilight Zone” style.
MALE FIGURE (V.O.)
2022, and I was unquestionably the world’s most bored vampire.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. STUDY/LIBRARY – MOMENTS LATER
The siblings looking at one another in disbelief.
MALE FIGURE (V.O.)
Yes. A vampire. Completely bored with my own existence. Over 600 years of mundane, un-exciting, eternal disappointment. The worst curse imaginable.
The fire in the fireplace transforms into a pile of burning garbage, continuing into a montage of the destruction of the planet and its resources.
MALE FIGURE (V.O.)
Add to that endlessly watching mortals waste. They waste everything; the planet, their resources, themselves. They repeat mistake after mistake. They never learn.
Montage shifts to: Money, banking, stock market, violence.
MALE FIGURE (V.O.)
And greed.(scoffs) Stupid pieces of paper or metal that they make the center of their universe. They even murder for it. The emptiest of all reasons to kill in my opinion.
Black and white clips from old vampire movies, villagers with pitchforks.
Montage of humans committing various atrocities over time.
MALE FIGURE (V.O.)
Ironically, humans call vampires evil. Well, the ones that believe in us anyway. Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? But, I digress(deep breath) back to boredom.
Clip of a “bored” stereotypical “Dracula” vampire.
MALE FIGURE (V.O.)
“Bored to death”? Yeah, I wished! (beat) Did you know that vampires cannot kill themselves? It’s literally impossible. Trust me, I tried. And tried. And tried.
Montage of various stereotypical vampires trying to kill themselves: falling, drowning, poison, hit by train, etc…
MALE FIGURE (V.O.)
Even that got boring.
INT. OLD HISTORICAL BUILDING – NIGHT
A MALE FIGURE stands, face concealed, gazing out a window.
MALE FIGURE(V.O.)
2022 started like every other year before it. At the time I was living in an abandoned building. It was an architectural gem and it was free. I preferred not to use currency when I could avoid it.(beat) One of my principles. Over the centuries I’d gone from pauper to millionaire. It was easy when you had the time on your hands that I did. It was like taking candy from a baby, which I’d also done a time or two.
This is the first time we see OSGOOD THE VAMPIRE, mid to late twenties, handsome, but not perfect. His face full of character and charm, with piercing eyes that hold centuries of stories, bends over a pram and a crying baby.
OSGOOD
(to camera) Did you expect a monster? Oh, and I can’t turn into a bat, and I DON’T sparkle.
Flashback of Osgood at a desk piled with books. Close-ups on books: Medical, Law, Architecture, Engineering, etc…
OSGOOD (V.O.)
I read a lot. I could’ve passed any number of exams, to be a lawyer, a doctor, an electrician. Again, time was on my side, and I hated it. Time, that is.
Flashback to a group of children playing in slow-motion. Time lapse footage baby to death-bed
OSGOOD (V.O.)
When humans are young time seems to go painfully slow. As they age, time continuously accelerates until their final moments are but a blur.
A flashback of Osgood with a dying patient in a hospital bed.
OSGOOD (V.O.)
The thing all humans have in common is that no one gets out alive, whether by my hand or not. A mortals time is finite.
A coffin lowering into the ground.
OSGOOD (V.O.)
You know Vampires don’t sleep in coffins to avoid the sunlight, right? It’s really a symbol of what they can never have.
INT. ABANDONED HISTORICAL BLDG – NIGHT
Osgood turns away from the window he was standing in earlier. Dead serious with his infinitely wise eyes.
OSGOOD
(directly into camera)
The grass IS always greener.
He crosses the room to a mirror, smoothing his hair.
OSGOOD
(in mirror) Yes, I can see my reflection.(turning) More rumors.
Osgood selects a jacket off the rack and puts on his shoes.
OSGOOD (V.O.)
Think about it. Never seeing yourself change, is far worse than never seeing yourself at all.
INT. STAIRWELL ABANDONED BUILDING – NIGHT
Osgood glides down the dimly lit stairs.
OSGOOD (V.O.)
Of course, I spent my days out of the sun. Unfortunately, the daylight thing is an issue.
EXT. ABANDONED HISTORICAL BDLG – NIGHT
Osgood exits the building, into the cool night air. He camouflages the entry with trash.
A flyer posted on the nearby fence catches his eye. “NOTICE” in big, red letters. He reads it quickly, tears it down, and shoves it in his pocket before heading down the street alone.
OSGOOD (V.O.)
Nights I often met up with other vampires. We’d meet up at places typically open late.
EXT. LAUNDROMAT – NIGHT
Osgood is walking past a laundromat. Through the window a lone person is seen digging thru a dryer suspiciously.
OSGOOD (V.O.)
All night laundromats are surprisingly interesting places. You wouldn’t believe how many people steal underwear. At least there are a few less thanks to me.
Clip of guy with panties and a terrified face. Blood spatters on dryer door glass. From inside the machine we see Osgood wipe the blood spatter
OSGOOD
Such an easy place to clean up too.
EXT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT
Osgood walks along a wall of graffiti belonging to a nightclub. The music THUMPS from within like a heartbeat.
OSGOOD (V.O.)
Nightclubs and drinks were typical. Alcohol has no effect on us, no taste either, nothing does, but blood. We actually can eat anything, but nothing has flavor or sustains, but blood.
A line of people wait to get into the club. A BOUNCER waves him to the front of the line letting him pass. He slips him a hundred dollar bill.
OSGOOD
My hatred of standing in line trumps my money principle.
INT. NIGHTCLUB – CONTINUOUS
Osgood walks down a long ramp into the bar. MUSIC BLARING.
OSGOOD
(to camera) Human blood tastes best, animal blood varies.
He stops at a viewpoint. Dozens of mortals writhe on the dance floor like a pit of snakes.
OSGOOD
Some humans are animals.
He overlooks the crowd with a forlorn, faraway gaze.
OSGOOD (V.O.)
I started a game with myself long ago to pick the most despicable humans I could. I guess I naively thought I could somehow do good.
Osgood directly into camera, shrugging with an air of disappointment.
OSGOOD
I never made much progress.
-
Pablo’s Opening Scene is Irresistable
What I learned: This likely won’t be my opening but I’m confident that I covered all the bases… EXCEPT… Rule number 1. I have to make this more provocative. This is still too boring. I’ll keep working on it.
EXT. DESERT – NIGHT
Dead of night, the rocks and cacti are as still as the moon overhead. Some whispers and gravelly footsteps break the silence as a gaunt, Mexican man crouches behind tarbush. A young girl piggybacks aiming a flashlight ahead. He’s out of sorts, and the small flashlight isn’t much help. BUZZ. He frantically scans left and right, looking for the source of the sound. Frightened, scrambles from one desert fauna to the next. The man looks back with his flashlight but still can’t find where the sound is coming from. One deep breath and he picks up a sprint.
EXT. EL RIO GRANDE – NIGHT
We see a bird’s eye view of the father and daughter in night vision. His eyes glow brightly, visibly showing fear as he desperately makes his way across a shallow Rio Grande.
He heads towards the massive metal fence. All the while, the night vision camera from above follows them as they walk along the fencing.
EXT. TEXAS BORDER – NIGHT
With urgency, the man runs along the fencing and with a sigh of relief, comes upon an opening. He passes through. Suddenly a spotlight from an SUV blinds him. The side of the car reads: U.S. BORDER PATROL.
OFFICER(in Spanish): Stop! Don’t move!
With the light now on him, we see he is drenched in sweat, his shirt is torn apart. His daughter is sunburnt and her lips are chapped and bleeding. Completely defeated, he doesn’t put up any fight as he is completely surrounded by men in green uniforms. The gaunt man hears the BUZZ again. He looks up to see several drones hovering over him.
INT. US BORDER PATRO, EL PASO SECTOR – NIGHT
Chief Patrol Agent Thompson, a tree stump of a man, stares at the monitor displaying the apprehension of the illegal immigrants in night vision. The gaunt man on screen stares back before he is then collected by the officers. Thompson is accompanied by a few other agents of varying ranks though he is clearly the one in charge. All are standing, aside from one man who sits on an old office chair. FRANK KAZAKOWSKI(50), a rough looking man with a clean crew cut, sits rigidly with a look of indifference. He is no agent. His left hand is handcuffed to the arm of the chair.
THOMPSON: So how long do the batteries last on those birds?
Frank clenches his jaw.
THOMPSON: I asked you a question, Frank.
FRANK: I did what you asked. What is it that you want?
Thompson is unimpressed.
THOMPSON: This was just a trial run. But I’d say it went well. Which is good, for your sake.
Frank leans back on his chair, ready to listen.
THOMPSON: You’re gonna help us. You’ll be my eyes in the sky.
Frank smirks.
FRANK: I highly doubt you’ll get the approval.
THOMPSON: Who says I’m requesting approval?
Frank chuckles.
FRANK: Won’t the DEA be expecting you to hand me over?
Thompson shakes his head.
THOMPSON: They don’t know you’re here. They have no idea about your drug-smuggling drones.
Frank’s smile disappears. Thompson closes in.
THOMPSON: Here’s the deal: Your team is done importing goods. From now on, you work for me. And you’re going to help me catch illegals.
FRANK: Like hell, I will. I don’t work for no one.
THOMPSON: It’s that or you and friends go straight to prison. We know where your men are. Just one phone call and this deal goes up in smoke.
Frank shakes his head. Thompson gets in closer.
THOMPSON: How long you think you would last in County Detention, Frank. Sapo’s got some connections there. They found out you’ve been pinched, they’re going to want to make sure you keep your mouth shut. Permanently.
Beat.
FRANK: So what, you’re going to put me on the payroll?
Thompson squints.
FRANK: We’re going to need some… “government funding” if you will. My birds don’t fly for free.
Thompson turns to look at his men. He laughs heartily. The other agents echo his laughter.
THOMPSON: This is a simple offer, Frank. The only exchange we’re going to make is you telling me when the wetbacks reach the wall and where we can find them. Other than that, I’ll pretend you don’t exist.
FRANK: That ain’t fair. That’s a shit ton of man hours for nothin’.
THOMPSON: You’re a smart man. I’m sure you’ll find other ways to make an income. But it ain’t gonna be with Sapo. Cuz if I find out you bring even an ounce into Texas, I’ll bury you my fuckin’ self.
Thompson takes Frank’s silence for compliance. He unlocks the handcuffs and hands Frank an outdated smartphone.
THOMPSON: I’ll be in contact. And you’d better answer. Now get the fuck out of my sight.
-
Armand Opening Scene is Irresistible!
What I learned…
Lead with something irresistible. What is that something? Emotion, intrigue, fresh writing. Below are six rules for the opening of your script. By opening, I mean the first scene of the movie — usually 2 or 3 pages.
Rule 1: Be provocative.
Rule 2: Either the main character or the antagonist or both should be introduced within the first 5 pages, preferably on the first page.
Rule 3: Make sure it is fresh.
Rule 4: The opening must fit the story.
Rule 5: The opening must create story questions.
Rule 6: The opening introduces the “story world” with some unique action.
EXT. MANOR – NIGHT
O.S. A man’s shriek of terror.
INT. MANOR – HALLWAY – CONT.
A young man runs for his life, he’s the one screaming.
TYLER (O.S.)
People are usually afraid of something. Like ghosts.
The man, TYLER, trips on his feet.
He glances back, his eyes open wide—
TYLER (O.S.)
But what are ghosts afraid of?
A ‘Jason from Friday the 13th-esque’ masked killer barges in, machete in hand.
Tyler screams as the killer charges at him.
TYLER (O.S.)
What if ghosts were also afraid of people?
Tyler shrieks. The killer’s machete cuts through Tyler’s body like a plane cutting through a cloud.
Tyler keeps screaming as the machete lands on the hardwood floor.
TYLER (O.S.)
Oh, yeah. I’m that ghost.
The killer’s baffled. Tyler vanishes through the nearest wall.
-
Budinscak Opening Scene is Irresistible
Day 3
What I learned doing this assignment:
o I enjoy the lessons and find the movie breakdown and analysis very informative. Both “Swordfish” and “GI Jane” were very informative and great examples for the lesson.
o Great set of rules for a tremendous opening scene.
o The idea that the opening scene can come from anywhere in the script should be a rule.
SCENE:
FADE IN:
SUPER: “1988”
EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT
A funeral home’s neon lights illuminate the large parking lot it shares with a quaint restaurant, Carmine’s.
A hearse exits the funeral home.
INT. CARMINE’S – NIGHT
The kitchen, while clean, shows its age. Music plays from a small radio on an upper shelf.
JACK, late 20s, more smooth than suave, moves gracefully in synch to the music as he cooks. He’s a natural in the kitchen.
JACK
Mmmm, this smells tasty.
He spins a knife and slices a loaf of Italian bread in half. He pulls a wad of cash from his pocket, stuffs it between the bread halves and slides the bread in a bag.
Jack scribbles ‘FH’ on the bag and stores it next to the radio. He approaches a large pot of sauce and inhales deeply.
JACK
This is intoxicating. Ma, you taught me good.
Knock, knock – someone’s at the kitchen door.
JACK
(sing songy) Who is it?
TOMMY
It’s your brother with two surprises.
JACK
As long as it isn’t those pesky two little ass….
In through the door walks Jack’s brother, TOMMY, a living teddy bear in his mid 30s, with cousins PUCK, 12 and a dweeb and Sal, 12 and exuding sneakiness. Jack isn’t thrilled to see his nephews and it shows.
JACK
If it isn’t Puck and Sal. What brings you two disasters into my kitchen. Did Uncle Tommy force you?
TOMMY
They wanted to help. You volunteered, right boys?
SAL
That ain’t what happened.
PUCK
Why is it that Sal and I have to help?
Sal mocks Puck behind his back. Puck knows, Sal doesn’t care.
PUCK
I can see you making fun of me.
SAL
No, I’m not.
PUCK
Why be so conniving?
Sal wants to pound Puck’s smug mug,
SAL
I know what that means. I looked it up – your picture’s there.
Sal pushes Puck, Puck pushes Sal… and it’s on. In seconds, glasses are broken, flour fills the air and sauce is splashed on floor.
JACK
HEY!
Everyone and everything stops, even the flour is suspended midair. Tommy gives Jack a ‘don’t go crazy now’ look. Sal comes up from behind Puck and gives him a little shove.
SAL
You’re it.
Sal spins away, takes a step and bounces backwards off the wall known as his Uncle Tommy. Tommy has a hold of both nephews.
JACK
(to Tommy) Still wonder about my feelings?
Neither Puck nor Sal return Jack’s menacing stare – they study the floor instead. Jack exhales long and slow until he composes himself.
JACK
Puck, you grab the meat. Sal, you got the sauce. Go. Now!
Tommy holds the door while the nephews carefully exit the kitchen. He giggles as Jack mouths expletives at him.
TOMMY
It’s family, c’mon, they’re kids.
JACK
No, they’re not. That’s not my family.
TOMMY
Jack, Jack, Jack. You still carry that grudge from the bank ride?
JACK
I’ll never forgive them.
Tommy’s giggle gets louder.
TOMMY
At some point you got to or it’ll drive you crazy.
JACK
You go ahead, enjoy their company out there. I’ll stay here and clean up their mess. Go ahead.
Tommy’s now in a laughing fit. Jack pelts Tommy in the head with a piece of bread.
EXT. CARMINE’S – NIGHT
Jack tosses a couple of bags of trash in the dumpster when he sees his friend. Jack stoops to pet a big orange tabby cat.
JACK
Hello there, Rusty.
Jack turns to headlights entering the parking lot. A hearse pulls into an open garage door at the funeral home. MEN exit the hears and rush to the open back door., they struggle with a body bag that jerks around wildly.
JACK
I’ve never seen one do that.
Jack steps back, right on Rusty’s tail – Me-YOW!
The men by the hearse look over, but focus on their package and hustle it inside. The garage door shuts.
Carmine’s back door opens, a hand slips out a saucer of milk.
JACK(OS)
Sorry, Rusty.
INT. CARMINE’S – NIGHT
KITCHEN
Jack’s face is a study of confusion as he washes his hands. The radio flips from music to news.
NEWSCASTER
A key government witness has been reported missing.
Jack hesitates for a nanosecond before he turns the radio off – he’s got a pretty good idea where that witness may be. He peeks out the back door – the funeral home garage doors are closed.
DINING ROOM
-
Rob Bertrand’s Opening Scene is Irresistible
What I learned: I learned that it’s difficult to keep up with class after getting Coronavirus. Finally back to writing and I have to say, I feel this lesson improved my first 10 pages and helped me shave off 7 pages.
EXT. PARKING LOT – WEDDING VENUE – NIGHT
Magic hour sets over a picturesque landscape, punctuated by the rhythmic bass of modern hip-hop. Somewhere a party is in full swing.
Meet ANNIE ANDREWS, 16, plain, but pretty, who wields sarcasm like a deadly weapon. She’s uncomfortable in the dress she’s wearing. Her long brown hair, normally hidden under a beanie, is worn swept up and sparkles.
Annie leads her sister, JESSICA, 8, a shy but crafty kid, through a field of parked cars.
JESSICA
Is mom and dad fighting?ANNIE
When are they not? Hurry up.The sisters cut through a row of cars and find their parents arguing beside their mom’s 69 VW Convertible Bug.
Meet JACK ANDREWS, a hardworking, harder drinking, blue-collar conservative. His face is red from anger or is it the booze? He shakes a finger in the face of his wife.
JACK
(slurred)
Just…gimme the fucking keys, Nora.NORA ANDREWS, late 30s. On a normal day, she’s an overworked mother, who bears the weight of her dysfunctional family on her shoulders. But today, Nora’s at her wit’s end.
NORA
(angry)
You said you had this under control!JACK
(angry)
I’m fine! Gimme the keys…NORA
Get in the car, Jack. Pull yourself together…for the kids.Annie and Jessica approach quietly.
JACK
Give me…my fucking…keys!Nora’s had enough.
NORA
(whispers)
Get in the backseat, Jack or so help me God, I will leave you here. I will leave you and take the kids…Jack goes to say something, but the look on Nora’s face stops him cold. He caves and crawls over the driver seat and plops himself into the back.
Nora slams the door in his face.
ANNIE
Mom, are you okay?NORA
Annie….I need you to…I need you to drive.CLOSE ON the car keys in Nora’s palm.
CUT TO:
INT. NORA’S BUG – MOVING – LATER
A light rain falls on the windshield as the wipers churn rhythmically.
Annie grips the steering wheel with the white-knuckle confidence of a student driver.
Nora stares out the passenger seat window, lost in thought.
NORA
Wasn’t that a beautiful wedding?Jack quietly stews in the backseat, as Jessica plays her Nintendo Switch, doing her best to ignore him.
ANNIE
Yeah, until Dad caused a scene–JACK
–Over a couple of homos? Shit, man…Jack stares daggers at Annie.
NORA
They looked so happy together…ANNIE
It’s twenty-twenty-two, dad. Gay people exist!Nora attempts to change the subject.
NORA
I think I’m going to take a hot bath when we get home–JACK
(angry)
–We should have won that fuckin’ anniversary dance!Annie rolls her eyes.
ANNIE
Give me a break, dad.JACK
(angry)
It’s fuckin’ bullshit! Marriage wasn’t even legal for them thirty-two years–ANNIE
(angry)
Dad! Stop!The rain is really coming down now. Nora reaches over and turns up the wipers. The rhythmic sound amping the tension.
JACK
Right! I forgot! Complain and get cancelled. The queers own this world now.Annie is hurt to the very core of her being.
ANNIE
You’re such a homophobic asshole!EXT. CROSSROAD – HIGHWAY – AERIAL – NIGHT
High above a four-way intersection, two vehicles approach the crossroad. A yellow light blinks its warning as the rain comes down in buckets.
INT. NORA’S BUG – MOVING – LATER
The wipers, now set to full blast, are no match for the torrential downpour.
NORA
Don’t listen to him. That’s the liquor talking. Love is love. No matter how you find it.JACK
Pssshhht.Annie’s face is a mask of terror. Headlights approach from the side road.
ANNIE
Mom! What do I do?NORA
You’ve got the right of way. They’ll yield to you.It’s hard to hear over the noise of the wipers. Annie is panicking.
ANNIE
I can’t see!JACK
Why can’t women wear miniskirts in San Francisco?The approaching truck grow’s closer and closer. It’s not slowing down.
ANNIE
Shut up!JACK
Because their balls would show!Jack erupts into a fit of laughter.
Nora looks back, anger burning in her eyes. The lights of the approaching car illuminate her from behind. It’s close. Too close.
NORA
(angry)
Jack, please––Screeching tires and a blazing truck horn scream through the night. The truck barreling towards them.
The second before impact.
CUT TO:
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Emmanuel’s Opening Scene is Irresistible!
What I learned from this assignment is if you follow the rules and apply all six or at least half, you’ll end up with a great opening that pulls in the audience.
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