Day 3 Assignments

[June f]

Day 2 of Dramatic Devices: Conflict and Tension.

June Fortunato Conflict for Retirement Scene “4”

What I learned: Helpful checklist. This is the next scene of my screenplay- which I’m writing chronologically. It follows a scene with quite a bit of conflict and tension- and this one requires a step down of conflict, although it incorporates a different and underlying tension. I will keep working to boost the tension in future passes. BTW I was glad to take time for medical research which helped with my character in this scene and will impact the rest of the story.

INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY- OSTEO UNIT – EVENING

A GURNEY with a bandaged and splinted Roy rolls by Suzy’s station. The ATTENDANT taps on Suzy’s desk, drops a manilla file onto it and as he pushes past and into a room:

ATTENDANT

Broken rib. Trauma to the kidney.

Dislocated shoulder. Old guy.

Suzy nods.

ATTENDANT (CONT’D)

Indigent. Stinks, too.

Suzy stands, picks up the file, opens it as she walks. The name stops her short, and she stares into the room from the hallway.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT- CONTINUOUS

The attendant settles Roy – moves the IV rack and tray table into position and shows Roy how to work the bed and hit the call button. Suzy enters.

SUZY

One day, Roy. One!

ROY

Babydoll!

He coughs and can’t get a breath. She takes his temperature.

SUZY

Don’t test me.

She inserts a port and hooks up the IV line with fluids. Then she looks at the thermometer.

ROY

I love it when you touch me.

She ignores him.

SUZY

You’re running a fever.

ROY

My Suzy Q makes me hot.

He gets an internal jab and moans. She checks his chart again.

SUZY

Knock it off. Behave or I’ll have

you transferred to another

hospital. Doc will be in to see

you.

She writes on the chart, and as she’s leaving:

ROY

I’m starving.

She halts. Turns to a cabinet and takes out an Ensure type drink, and crackers- opens everything for him and heads for the exit.

ROY (CONT’D)

You’re my Joan of Arc.

SUZY

And you’re in a heap of trouble,

Roy. Meds will kick in soon.

As she exits

SUZY (CONT’D)

And don’t move. That rib can

puncture your heart.

INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY- OSTEO UNIT – CONTINUOUS

Suzy walks out and her no BS demeanor dissolves. Worry, frustration and empathy tear at her. She flips through Roy’s narrative/chart and makes a decision.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  June f.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  June f.

[Lisa Paris Long]

Hi June,

I believe this assignment is in the wrong forum. Conflict and Tension should be in Assignment 2 forum, not 3.

Lisa

[June f]

Yes, so sorry. Thanks!

[June f]

Apologies- I posted day 2 on today’s link. Here is today’s assignment to follow. Retirement continues.

June Fortunato’s Dramatic Irony for Retirement Day 3 of Dramatic Devices

What I learned: These scenes both set up the scenes with a confrontation of dramatic irony. I’m writing in chronological order, and want to stay on schedule- but I’ll write and post ASAP.

Kim Kirby

Self-talking, deep spirit wound, lives on the edge Logline: Kim wants her inheritance which was stolen by her brother so Kim escapes his brutality, and sneakily damages the house again and again to make her point.

Brian Kirby Weasel. Self-Serving.

Logline: When Brian’s new wife, Ingrid, wants Kim disinherited, Brian does her bidding. He’s got a big secret so he needs to squash his sister, Kim and make sure she never tells.

Ingrid nee Litman-Kirby Abusive. Self-serving. Logline: When Ingrid finally gets Brian to marry her, she declares all out war on his sister, Kim, to disinherit her and take everything. Her plan is to get it all, and then divorce Brian.

INT. / EXT. BUS – NIGHT

KIM, 60s, her zen veneer masks her gyrating emotions and deeply wounded spirit. Sturdy and raven haired, Kim is a fighter with a hit and run approach. She lives on the edge and risks it all, all of the time. Holding several CARRY BAGS, Kim speaks aloud throughout the bus ride to no on-one in particular. When they pretend not to hear, she speaks even louder, and looks at them to get their attention.

KIM

Yes, I’m coming. Yes, I have a right to be there. You know I’m right.

She pulls the stop-cord and the bus pulls over in a remote area on the edge of a very dark park. A lone house with a light on inside. As she exits:

KIM

I’m fine. I’m good. Don’t worry about me.

EXT. CLIFFSIDE & CABIN – CONTINUOUS

Kim circles the house. She sits on the ground facing the lit window and lights a cigarette. Kim’s words turn into a chant.

KIM

I am strong. I belong. You can’t stop me. I will survive.

A woman, INGRID, 30s, society snotty, yanks the blind open and glares out. Then a man, 60s, BRIAN, comb over, a spineless Dweeb, joins the woman. Kim sees them staring.

KIM

This is mine. Mine.

Kim gets up and goes to the door. Before she can knock, Ingrid has swung the door open.

INGRID

Stupid cow.

BRIAN

Kim, just leave. Don’t start this.

KIM

Hi Brian.

Kim sails in and heads for the staircase.

BRIAN

Ingrid doesn’t want you here.

KIM

And I don’t want Ingrid here. Except that this is my house.

INGRID

She’s smoking! Brian!

BRIAN

Kim, please.

Almost to the top.

KIM

Wouldn’t Mom be proud of you, Bry Bry?

Ingrid lurches past Brian and up the staircase after Kim.

INGRID

I said, Get Out.”

She grabs Kim and pulls her backwards, throwing her down the staircase. Kim tumbles with all of her things to the bottom and howls.

INGRID

Innocently, to Brian.

She deserved that.

Brian is on the phone.

BRIAN

Ambulance, please. My sister has had a tremendous fall.

INGRID

Oh, I do hope she’s OK, poor dear.

BRIAN

We have to think. Ingrid. We have to think. How do we explain this one?

INGRID

She’s crazy. She’s “unstable.”

BRIAN

We already took most of what she had.

INGRID

So get her locked up. Pull strings.

Brian looks down at Kim who doesn’t move.

INGRID

You have to do it. It’s for her own protection.

Scene TWO

Suzy the nurse Welsh Rescuer. Has to fix everything.

Logline: When Suzy finally dumps Roy, he returns all broken to her osteo unit. She tries to get him fixed up in several ways: physically, with his financial benefits and with a place to live to make sure he never returns to her.

Denny Brand, esq. Lovestuck. Smart. Patient. His agenda is to have a serious relationship with Suzy, so when she asks a favor he’s onboard and will do his best to make sure Roy is out of her life for good.INT.

HOSPITAL HALLWAY – DAY

Suzy makes a call. She continues to work and puts the call on speakerphone. Another nurse,

TARA, tired, over it, sits nearby.

RECEPTION (O.S.)

Denny Brand, esquire.

SUZY

Hi, this is Susan Welsh. I’d like to speak to Mr. Brand.

Tara shakes her head.

TARA

How you get into things.

SUZY

Do you have any other ideas?

Denny answers.

DENNY (O.S.) (delighted)

Well, well, Susan. Did you finally extricate yourself from the mooch?

SUZY

Hi Denny…. Ah. Sort of. He’s in my ward…. Totally wrecked. But he’s out of my house, though.

DENNY (O.S.)

OK!

SUZY

Denny, he needs help. He declared himself dead and he’s in a financial nightmare.

DENNY (O.S.)

How’s this your problem?

SUZY

I don’t want him to come back!

Denny laughs.

DENNY (O.S.)

Fair enough.

Pause.

DENNY (O.S.)

Does it at least let me buy you lunch?

Tara rolls her eyes.

SUZY

I’d love to.

Pause.

DENNY (O.S.)

Send the info. When do you need this?

SUZY

He’ll be here for a month. But he’s got criminal charges, too.

DENNY (O.S.)

What kind?

SUZY

You’ll get paid. He never took his vet benefits or his Social Security. It’s a lot. It’s enough. For the medical bills, too.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- OSTEO UNIT – ROY’S ROOM- CONTINUOUS

Doc enters Roy’s room and studies his charts. Poker face. Roy looks much better than when he came in a week ago.

Still reading

DOC

How’re you feeling today, Mr. Dent?

ROY

Peachy. DE-LISH-us food. An this bed! Up an down up and

down. Plus, the hot nurses.. You got a spa here, doc. All

with the, if you’ll excuse me, exception of Broomhilda the

washer with the mitts of a bear.

Suzy enters and laughs.

DOC

I’ll tell her to be more careful.

He sees Suzy.

ROY

There’s my guardian angel.

SUZY

He’s still passing blood in his urine.

Doc nods.

DO

I’ll write a different script. (To Roy) How’s

the coughing?

ROY

Oh, absolutely. But I try to avoid it. It does not bode

well for the alien in my chest.

Suzy shakes her head. The Doc. uncovers Roy’s shoulder and checks the

joint placement. Roy jolts in pain at the touch.

DOC

Mr. Dent..

ROY

Perfection. But, doc, I’d like to stay in this

establishment for a while.

DOC

We won’t release you until you stop passing blood.

ROY

Suzy Q, bring on the beet juice!

DOC

Mr. Dent, as you know, older men damage more easily and

take much longer to heal.

ROY

You got that right, son.

DOC

And unfortunately, your prognosis… this was a trauma that

may not be possible to entirely overcome.

Roy is surprised by this.

DOC

Living the way you do- it’s not a lifestyle that’s feasible

going forward.

Suzy has known this all along. Roy looks at her and it starts to sink

in.

ROY

Ah, I love secrets, Suzy Q, don’t you?

DOC

But the good news is that you’re a veteran, and you’ve got

social security. Both benefits can give you a more

reasonable life.

Now Roy feels betrayed. He springs back.

ROY

Who says I’m not reasonable? Doc, you don’t know old Roy.

I’m strong as a bull charging a Spaniard in the street.

DOC

We’ll do our best. But, Mr. Dent, consider that your kidney

infection may return, your shoulder may dislocate many

times. You’re fragile now. But you have options. I’ll visit

again tomorrow.

He exits. Suzy remains. Pause.

SUZY

I’m sorry, Roy. I thought the doctor should tell you.

She turns to exit.

ROY

You’re still my girl.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  June f.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  June f.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  June f.

[Cameron Martin]

Cameron Martin’s Dramatic Irony

What I learned doing this is…the value of applying dramatic irony through my characters and their actions, not just through the setting.

Markus – Discreet, Innocent, Loyal, Scholarly

SCL – To stop Apollo from saying he wants to mutiny, in order to save his life.

Apollo – Decisive, Headstrong, Discreet, Loyal

SCL – To convince Markus to join his mutiny.

INT. HANGAR

MARKUS waits his turn. He’s next in line to retrieve what looks like a double-barrel shotgun, with an axe blade on the butt of the gun and a handle running the length of the barrel.

In front of him is the same MOTHER and CHILD from the cafeteria.

The mother and child stand in front of a desk with a SOLDIER behind it.

MOTHER

This is a mistake! This is my son!

The soldier refuses to make eye contact with the mother.

SOLDIER

Mam, we’ve been through this. He is not your son.

MOTHER

He is! So what if he’s adopted!?

The child starts to cry.

CHILD

Mamma, what does adopted mean?

SOLDIER

Only biological parents are exempt. Now get out of line and report to your post.

MOTHER

He’s my son! I’ve raised him from birth! You have all of the papers!

Two other soldiers come to the line. They pry the child from his mother.

CHILD

Mamma! Mamma!

The mother is dragged away by one soldier, as the other soldier takes the kicking and screaming child.

MOTHER

You can’t do this!

SOLDIER

Next!

Markus, wide eyed, steps forward.

SOLDIER

Name and bunk number?

MARKUS

What’ll happen to them?

SOLDIER

Your name and bunk number, civilian.

MARKUS

Markus Smirnov. Bunk–

SOLDIER

And your bunk number?

MARKUS

Bunk 67A.

The soldier scans his book, makes a couple notes and stamps several documents.

MARKUS

Excuse me, can I ask a question?

SOLDIER

Do you have a ‘biological’ child, or are you disabled?

Markus opens his mouth to answer.

SOLDIER

Adopted children will not be identified as your own.

MARKUS

No.

SOLDIER

No what?

MARKUS

No. No kids, and–

SOLDIER

And, you’re obviously not disabled. You’re on exterminator duty.

The soldier hands Markus the long barreled gun.

SOLDIER

This is a short range pulse blaster. You will not refer to it by any other name.

Markus takes the weapon carefully, as though it may bite him.

MARKUS

Isn’t this illegal.

SOLDIER

No. Guns are illegal. This is a short range pulse blaster.

MARKUS

What do I do with it?

SOLDIER

You kill aliens with it. Keep it pointed at the ground at all times. If you see an alien, get up close and make sure you don’t shoot your comrades, unless explicitly told to do so.

The soldier waves for Markus to step up to a yellow line. A torn up dummy stands about a yard away.

SOLDIER

Remember to keep it pointed at the ground. This is how close you want to be before taking aim.

Soldier grabs the gun. Markus hands it over.

SOLDIER

(Grabbing Markus’ hands and placing them on the gun)

No. You hold on. Aim down the sights.

Markus aims down the sights of the gun.

SOLDIER

You have one shot. You will not be equipped with more until deployment, Now, fire.

Markus pulls the trigger.

The shotgun kicks back, and a plume of rock and smoke explodes from the dummy.

SOLDIER

Congratulations. You’ve been adequately trained to fight aliens.

A tactical space suit finishes printing on the Soldier’s desk. The Soldier takes out the space suit from the printer and an ear piece from a cardboard box under the desk and hands both to Markus.

SOLDIER

Place the ear piece in now.

Markus obeys.

SOLDIER

Please no sudden moves as the ear piece calibrates.

VOICE (O.S.)

(in the earpiece)

You’re one to follow instructions well.

Markus freezes.

The soldier nods, knowing.

SOLDIER

Please report to section 43-Alpha.

Markus walks away, stunned.

In the background, other conversations are overheard similar to one Markus just encountered, with other titles being given, including exterminator, cleaner, and exempt from civic duty.

VOICE (O.S.)

You would do well to follow these next instructions. You have been given one more shot in your short range pulse blaster. Be on the lookout for mutineers. Your earpiece has a camera on it. We will know if you come into contact with a mutineer. We will know if you do not do your civic duty and retaliate against a mutineer.

Markus sees Apollo, blaster strapped over his back, in the section he’s shuffling toward.

VOICE (O.S.)

If you catch any dissenters, we expect you to continue to do the right thing.

APOLLO

Markus.

Markus makes a motion, keeping his hands low, hoping Apollo catches it.

Apollo

Over hear.

MARKUS

Apollo, I’m glad to see you.

APOLLO

Same.

(whispering)

Listen—

MARKUS

I’ve been meaning to tell you, I had this dream. I know we don’t usually dream in cryo sleep. It’s supposed to be impossible. Doesn’t matter. You know what happened?

APOLLO

Keep your voice down.

MARKUS

(whispering)

It must’ve come after I read this one account from World War I. You know, the one at the beginning of the 20th century?

APOLLO

Markus, listen—

MARKUS

I know, I’m blabbering. There was this fellow soldier who got separated and was accused of being a dissenter.

APOLLO

Will you shut up—

MARKUS

And because the threat of mass dissent was greater than the threat to one’s conscience, I was ordered to execute this man.

Apollo grabs Markus by the shoulders.

APOLLO

I know you love history.

(offering Markus’ own words back to him)

They offer lessons to prepare for the present.

Markus smiles, thinking Apollo must’ve gotten the message.

APOLLO

That’s why we have to stop history from repeating itself, and end this. Now, I’ve already got some allies—

MARKUS

Apollo, listen—

APOLLO

Just a second, before I catch you in another lecture.

Markus opens his mouth to speak, but Apollo puts his hand over his mouth.

APOLLO

We don’t have much time. I want you with me on this. We’re going to be on the right side of history and take these bastards down.

Markus’ face bleaches white, anticipating the voice in his ear piece.

Silence.

The drone of the room is interrupted by screams coming from another section.

APOLLO

It’s not time?

Markus pushes Apollo out of the crowd.

APOLLO

What’re you doing?

Markus

(forcing the words out of his mouth)

You…You’re a mutineer!

Realization washes over Apollo’s face, his eyes screaming in horror.

Markus raises the blaster, weighing five times heavier in his hands than when he first received it.

APOLLO

What’re you talking about? I was just—

KERPLOW!!

Markus drops the blaster to the ground. His eyes will his friend back to life.

Another SOLDIER walks by and hands the blaster back to Markus.

SOLDIER

Very good.

Markus takes the blaster automatically, his eyes still transfixed on the man he murdered.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Cameron Martin. Reason: Posted Day 2 in here by mistake. This is the correct Day 3 assignment

[Dev Ross]

Conflict and Tension

What I learned what that by continually driving up the tension between two characters, escalates the stakes and drives the story unyieldingly forward.

INT. CLAY’S BASEMENT – EARLY EVENING

Clay watches TV news as Hannah, dressed for work as a nurse at the hospital, comes downstairs.

HANNAH

Honey, I’m off to work. I left your dinner warming in the oven. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and that peas and carrots blend you like.

CLAY

Sounds good.

She moves towards him.

HANNAH

What are you watching?

CLAY

Thought you had to get to work.

HANNAH

Well, I do have a few minutes. Maybe we can just sit together and catch up.

When Clay doesn’t respond, Hannah turns her attention to the TV. Clay’s been watching Lincoln Able being interviewed on their local news show. The interview carries on in the b.g. as Clay and Hannah converse.

HANNAH

Boy, that Lincoln Able is sure something. All the black nurses are talking about him.

CLAY

And you know what the black nurses are talking about? Because you’re all best friends now?

HANNAH

No, no, I just work with them.

CLAY

They do know who I am, right?

HANNAH

Oh yeah! They do. They know.

CLAY

And they still talk to you.

HANNAH

No, not really. It’s just that they speak freely around me.

CLAY

Because if you hear, it doesn’t matter, right? Because I don’t matter anymore.

HANNAH

Clay, it’s not like that! You matter! It’s just with that Adam Spencer stirring so much up, people are sick of the hate. They want hope. I want hope!

CLAY

So, Lincoln Able is your hero too?

HANNAH

No! But I can see he’s doing good for his community.

CLAY

And I’m not?

HANNAH

Clay… times are changing.

CLAY

Yes, for the worse, and you can’t see that I’m trying to do good for our people, and our country.

HANNAH

Honey, you’re putting words in my mouth. I’m not comparing you.

CLAY

Then what are you doing?

HANNAH

I’m just trying to have conversation. We hardly talk anymore.

CLAY

Then why are we having this particular conversation? Why not about the weather? Or about how our daughter is about to give birth to a half-breed?

HANNAH

Clay… Honey, I’m just sick of the hate! I don’t want any part of it anymore! I just want us to be a family.

CLAY

And you don’t see the greater purpose? That I’m fighting for all white families!

She stands to leave.

HANNAH

All of them? Maybe you should just start with your own!

Hannah heads back upstairs and then slams out the door. Clay turns his attention back to the TV.

[Lisa Paris Long]

Originally post in wrong Assignment: should be 2, not 3

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Lisa Paris Long. Reason: Post in wrong POST. Should be Assignment 2, not 3

[Lisa Paris Long]

DAY 3 Dramatic Irony

Lisa’s Dramatic Irony

What I learned is that keeping something from the main character but letting the audience in on it is fun. It’s a device that can add intrigue and suspense to the story. And it makes the characters that are in on it more interesting.

Name: MARY WINTERS

Traits: Competitive, Clever, Energetic, Driven

Character Logline: Mary is a non-stop super mom who must rescue her ex-husband from himself, save kidnapped Santa Claus, and make the annual It’s a Wonderful Life festival a success.

Name: PETER WINTERS

Traits: Depressed, Kind, Lost, Desperate

Character Logline: Peter is a war veteran hero who is about to lose his snowmobile business due to no snowfall, and he knows that Santa Claus is real from his time in the government, so he will use that knowledge to try to save his business.

EXT-HOUSE-NIGHT

PETER has his back to SANTA as he struggles with placing a large ladder on the side of the house.

PETER

We’re going to do this fast. I need you to do your Santa thing and get back up the chimneys as quick as possible. Don’t take any time to sort out the gifts, I’ll do that later. You just go down and throw them back up…or however you do it. Doesn’t matter as long as you get as many of the presents as you can. I need those gifts to save my business. I have my buddy in the next town who will sell them for the money. (catching himself) Ah, I’ve said too much…

While Peter is talking, MARY has emerged from the woods behind the house dressed as Santa. She taps the real Santa on the shoulder and holds a finger up to her mouth for him not to speak. She waves for Santa to head to the woods behind them. Santa books it into the woods.

PETER (continued)

Okay. (Turning around) Now you need to get up there.

Mary puts uses as low a voice as she can.

MARY

You first.

PETER

Oh no! I’m not falling for that. Go on.

Mary still afraid of heights, very slowly walks toward the ladder and starts up it.

MARY

Sure, you don’t want to go first?

PETER

What’s your problem? You’ve been on plenty of roofs.

MARY

Okay. Okay.

Mary moves as slow as possible. Peter starts up the ladder behind her. As Mary gets to the roof, she doesn’t stand, but scoots along the roof line.

PETER

What are you doing? Stand up. Let’s get this done.

Mary tried to stand up and almost falls.

PETER (continued)

I know you haven’t been drinking. Now let’s go.

Mary stands up and tries to act cool about it. Peter moves by her toward the chimney.

PETER

Okay, Santa. Do what you do…go on down.

MARY

Peter, you don’t want to do this. What if you get caught? You don’t want to go to jail. What about Janie and Ruthie?

PETER

How do you know my girls’ names?!

MARY

I’m Santa, remember. I know everyone’s names.

PETER

Right. Let’s go!

MARY

No. I’m not going to do it.

PETER

I didn’t risk everything for you not to do this! Now do whatever you gotta do to get down there!

Peter puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a fake toy gun that kind of looks real. Mary knows it’s not a real gun. She’s seen many as a volunteer firefighter.

PETER (continued)

I’m not taking no for an answer. Don’t tempt me.

MARY

You can’t shoot Santa Claus!!

PETER

Watch me!

MARY

Peter, this isn’t you. You’re not a thief and a killer. You’re a war hero! You saved 31 men!

PETER

It should have been me who died that day.

MARY

If you didn’t survive you couldn’t have saved all those men that day. They owe you, their lives. Please give this up!

PETER (tearing up)

I don’t know what to do. I have a family to support.

MARY

Your family loves you no matter what but do the right thing. Don’t be one of those guys who will give up their ethics and dignity for a thing…it’s just a business. You can find something else. I’ll help you.

PETER

What?

Don and Dash have procured a firetruck with a ladder and enlisted the help of firefighters to drive it over to the roof. They shout to Peter.

DON

Put down the gun!

MARY

He doesn’t have a gun! It’s not real!

DASH

Drop it!

Peter grabs Mary as Santa and drags her to the chimney with the fake gun on her.

MARY (in her regular voice)

Don’t shoot! It’s okay!

PETER

Mary?

Peter lets her go and she rolls down the roof. Joseph has run up to the side of the house just as Mary starts to tumble.

MARY (tumbling)

Don’t shoot him!

Peter puts his hands up.

JOSEPH

I’ve got you!

Joseph catches Mary and they fall into the snow. Don and Dash jump onto the roof and subdue Peter.

[Anita Gomez]

Day 3 – Anita’s Dramatic Devices (Irony)

What I learned doing this assignment: I set this scene up in my initial outline, but I had no term for the dramatic device. Knowing I can use Dramatic Irony effectively will be a great reminder for future scripts.

Name: Cyrus

Traits: Image-Conscious Narcissist, Hypocrite, Manipulative, Workaholic

Subtext: Unethical, Political

Character Logline: Cyrus is a narcissist who won’t let anything – not even ethics – stand in the way of his pursuit to become a power-wielding judge.

[NOTE: the scene preceding this reveals the big news that Cyrus has just been appointed 5th Circuit Court of Appeals Judge]

INT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – NIGHT

Cyrus’s WIFE KAREN comes home, throws her keys on the hall table and picks up the mail.

Karen is delighted to see the 4 Fed-X type packets with the return address of ‘Your Heritage’ – the genetic DNA company Karen gifted her family with at Christmas.

She carries them into the living room, sits and tears hers open. She smiles at the report and sets it aside.

Karen then picks up her husband’s report and after a moment of consideration tears this one open too.

She begins scanning the results. She stops dead halfway through, her smile fading, shaking her head in denial. We see what she does – the section titled:

IMMEDIATE KNOWN RELATIVES

Children: 3

KAREN

That’s a mistake!

Karen grabs the last two packets marked with her children’s names and quickly rips them open. She goes immediately to each report’s section and reads:

IMMEDIATE KNOWN RELATIVES

Siblings: 2

KAREN

No, no, no, NO!

Karen jumps to her feet scattering the paperwork to the ground.

INT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – LATER THAT NIGHT

Cyrus comes home and throws his keys on the counter just as his wife did earlier. He too scans the few envelopes of mail and tosses it back down, finding nothing of immediate importance.

Cyrus walks through the house into the mostly dark living room calling out as he goes.

CYRUS

Hey hon, I’m home!

He loosens his tie, flips on a light and goes to a sideboard to pour himself a drink.

Cyrus is startled to see his wife quietly sitting in a corner chair in the gloom.

CYRUS

Oh hey! Didn’t see you there. Let me get you one of these too.

Cyrus pours a second tumbler of whiskey and walks it over to his wife.

CYRUS (CONTINUES)

We’re celebrating!

Karen woodenly takes the offered drink. Cyrus is too revved up to notice her closed demeanor.

He lifts his drink in a toast.

CYRUS (continues)

You’re looking at the next 5th Circuit Court of Appeals Judge! Babe, we’re off to New Orleans!

He’s beaming.

Karen quietly puts her drink down without emotion.

KAREN

There is no more WE, Cyrus. WE are not celebrating. WE are not moving to New Orleans.

CYRUS

(sputtering)

What are you talking about? This is what we’ve been working so hard for … all the campaigning and the hours of political schmoozing at those god-awful boring social events … all the sacrifice – it’s paid off babe! And who knows what this will lead to… I think I can go all the way –

KAREN

You can Cyrus. You can go all the way to hell.

She stands. He’s utterly confused.

Karen picks up the reports that have been on the coffee table, hands them to Cyrus.

He sets his drink down to look at them.

KAREN

To be helpful, I’ve highlighted the pertinent parts.

We see the CHILDREN and SIBLINGS areas highlighted.

CYRUS

I don’t understand… I thought – I mean….

KAREN

Genetics don’t lie Cyrus. You have had a child with another woman. So you can go to New Orleans, or go to hell. I don’t really care. But wherever you go, you will be going alone.

And Karen walks out the door.

[Dev Ross]

Dev Ross – Dramatic Irony

What I learned from doing this lesson is how much writing where the audience knows something while a character does not, pulls at the audience’s heartstrings and tightens the screws on the drama.

Emmy begs to come home not knowing what we, the audience knows, which is that her father has murdered her mother.

INT. CLAY HOME – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Clay enters. He sets his gun down, removes his coat when he reacts to an anguished sniffle coming from the darkened room. He draws his gun, aims it into the shadows.

CLAY

Who’s there?

EMMY (O.S.)

It’s me, Daddy.

Clay flicks the light to reveal his wreck of a daughter sitting tiny on the couch, her sweater pulled tightly around her. Clay lowers his gun.

CLAY

I told you, you’re not welcome in my home.

EMMY

Daddy, I made a mistake…

She stands, pulls open her sweater to show she’s no longer pregnant.

EMMY (CON’T)

But the Lord corrected it. Please. I’m ready to do penance, Daddy. Anything you want me to do. I just want to come home.

CLAY

You lost the baby?

EMMY

Yes. The Lord took it. It was my punishment.

She steps toward him, embraces him.

EMMY

You were right, Daddy, it never should’ve happened.

CLAY

No, never. Never.

EMMY

But I’m home now. And I love you so much. And I love Momma so much. Where is she? I went to her work but…

Clay releases her.

CLAY

Your momma… is away for a while.

EMMY

For how long?

CLAY

I don’t know. She left me.

EMMY

Oh… But she’ll come back. I know she will. She loves you, Daddy. But I’m here now and I’ll take care of you until she does!

CLAY

No. No, no, no! You can’t come home.

EMMY

Why?

CLAY

Because… you’re tainted! No decent white man will ever have you now! Your womb is befouled!

EMMY

Daddy, you’re just being spiteful! You don’t mean it!

CLAY

I do mean it. You are infected! You are contaminated!

EMMY

Then forgive me and then help me!

CLAY

I can’t!

EMMY

Then when Momma comes home, she will!

CLAY

No, she won’t! She won’t. You’re on your own now.

He grabs her arm, pulls her toward the door.

EMMY

But I’m your daughter. You can’t just throw me away! Daddy! You can’t just throw me away!

Clay tosses her out, slams the door, then listens to her crying and pounding on the door as he walks away…

[anna harper]

Anna Harper Dramatic Irony Day 3

What did I learn from this assignment? I was totally stumped at first. I could think of some films I had watched, but nothing I had written or was in the process of writing. The following is an IP with this as the first step, with a lot of editing to create a script from the IP with dramtic irony.

I have never consciously thought about creating dramatic irony before.

THE BITTERSWEET OF SUMMER’S END Anna Corbett (HARPER)

KEY CHARACTERS FOR THIS ASSIGNMENT

AHMED Proprietor of the Gates of India. Born and raised in Birmingham. U.K An excellent cook. Widowed, one son Abdul wants to become a human rights lawyer. Exeter University has accepted Ahmed’s son. Ahmed is very worried about the fees which are now overdue. In fact, Ahmed is clinically depressed; a nervous wreck.

MAJOR BUNNY HOLMES OBE retired. Army Intelligence and a former spy. Married to Margaret; breeder of Irish Wolfhounds. Unfortunately, she is getting a bit dotty. Margaret recently set fire to Bunny’s steak dinner.

DAVID AND GOLIATH SIS British Intelligence Officers

ANTON Serbian Spy, a thug. Not overly bright. Money Lender.

MAJOR BUNNY HOLMES

They have already vetted all of you. They know everything. What is in your bank account, or should I say not in your bank account. Of course, they know about Caleb, Stu’s marriage problems, where Maggie is, and what she has been doing. They know about Anthony’s mother, Ahmed’s problems, and Jonathan’s burnout. Cleo, and the whole bloody lot of you. They know when you take a shit. So, don’t mess with them. Got it?”

Bunny’s private army enters a large meeting room. There are only two men there, not wearing uniforms of any kind. Both have guns in shoulder holsters. The men appear to be very fit, middle-aged with nothing remarkable (other than the guns), about their appearance. Definitely not James Bond material. One of them invites the group to be seated.

DAVID

For the purpose of our meeting, I am agent David, and my partner here is agent Goliath.

We understand you all are in need of financial support. We will discuss that later. Today we are on a mission to find the Russian operative who is posing as a Serb in Anton’s gang of thugs. The Russian government is on the outs with the Serbs at present. The Russians would love to internationally cause a lack of trust in the Serbs. So, the Russian agents may seek to disclose by various means what the Serbs are up to without their knowing that the rot comes from within. Meanwhile, they use the cover of the Serbian infrastructure, satellite communications, and dark locations, to piggyback their own agenda on British soil. That is until they are ready to throw the Serbs under the bus. I must warn you that this is a dangerous mission. However, we are confident. You are valuable to us as you have no footprint. You are just ordinary civilians, and you have local knowledge. It will be easy for you to flow through your daily activities as cover. Therefore it is hoped they will not tumble to our operation. Seek, find and destroy the Russian operatives, and deport the Serbs. That is after we have finished with them.

GOLIATH

The first part of this assignment, should you decide to take it on, is to deliver the money that Caleb owes, which is now double what he borrowed, and to have Anton, who was Caleb’s contact, become interested in you. You will achieve this by being disrespectful and dismissive. We will coach you on technique. We call it The Chinese Takeaway.

Step 1. The money owed to Anton will be returned as part of our plant to lure in Anton.

Step 2. You will commit a crime. We will set up everything for you. It will be a real crime in broad daylight. You will get away with it. Anton will hear about it, he will then contact you

DAVID

Are you in, or are you on your way back to your daily life in the village?

STANLY

In.

JONATHON

Yes. What have I got to lose?

STU

We are all in, right?

AHMED

Looks like it’s a go then.

GOLIATH

Good, we start tomorrow. Ahmed, you are going to be the money delivery boy.

AHMED

Wetting himself. God is good. Mohamed help me!

Ahmed is wearing a full Sikh, orange turban, a perfectly fitted faux beard, and thick faux eyebrows. A pair of heavy-rimmed glasses complete his disguise transforming him from a contemporary Moslem man into a traditional Sikh. His outer costume is that of a Skip the Dishes delivery man.

Ahmed parks his scooter nervously takes his insulated food bag from the back cargo holder and walks over to the seafront cottage, where Caleb arranged his money loan from Anton. He rings the bell.

AHMED

Delivery for Anton!

ANTON

Opens the front door looking pissed off.

I didn’t order any food.

Silently Ahmed opens the pizza box to display bundles of cash. A handgun lies alongside the pizza box in the food bag. Ahmed removes the gun from the pizza box to his pants belt.

AHMED

This is from Caleb. You are all done with Caleb. Stay away. This is double the original loan.

Anton looks visibly taken aback as Ahmed disappears on his scooter in the opposite direction of the village centre. Ahmed rounds a corner with a waiting van with a ramp, and rides the scooter up into the waiting van; the shutter comes down and the van departs

AHMED

I think I am going to throw up. I didn’t intend to get this involved.

STU

No, you are fine. You did it, well done. We hit the first milestone.

AHMED

Actually, I am impressed with myself. It was also very exciting, even though I am sweating like the proverbial pig. I must get off this turban. I am an insult to both religions and most certainly I am going to hell. But, it was all for a good cause.

Stu, pass me some water, I am so thirsty I might pass out from dehydration.

[Alice Eden]

Alice’s Dramatic Irony

OPENING SCENE:

Seventy years after Separation.

NIGHT. At the sound of alarm. Disturbed bunch of military in running steps follows after MAIN COMMANDER into military headquarters.

A couple of security officers on their way at the doors, pale faces, eyes out of orbits. One, anxious, addresses Main Commander.

SECURITY OFFICER

This is very good defending system, sir!

INT. MILITARY HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT

Main Commander gets to control panel before huge oval of digital 3D map.

Bends over, and presses buttons.

Missiles, sent from Black Archipelago, are pictured on the map. They run from a couple of directions, heading into different points all over West Archipelago. One by one, they get caught, and disabled.

Military breath out, relieved a bit.

MAIN COMMANDER

Attack!

He directs on their turn Atomic Missiles to be sent from West targeting Black Archipelago. One missile he directs to Eastern Seashore, across stripe of Ocean.

One of young officers gets disturbed. Turns to him, in awkward voice.

YOUNG OFFICER

Sir…

Main Commander turns no attention at him.

YOUNG OFFICER

Sir, this is resort area.

MAIN COMMANDER

Shut up!

YOUNG OFFICER

Sir, my brother is there!

MAIN COMMANDER

Leave!

Young officer doesn’t get out, but his body starts to jerk, as he follows with dead eyes, how missiles hit Black Archipelago, including resort area, burning his brother on his honeymoon.

EXT. PLANET FROM ABOVE – NIGHT

DRAMATIC SOUND. Half of the Globe, where it was Black Archipelago, DARKENS.

[Dana Abbott]

PS81 – Dana’s Dramatic Irony

What I learned from this assignment:

I learned I didn’t need a long dramatic conversation to create my dramatic irony. A simple shot of a cell phone in an empty room was all I needed to reveal the antagonist’s plot to mislead the police.

Characters:

Name: Ellen Landry

Traits: Sympathetic/kind, Hopeful, Ambitious Anxious/Insecure

Subtext Logline: Ellen is forced to play a dangerous, on-air game of life and death to save her kidnapped family from a violent ex-patient.

Name: Ryan

Traits: polite, calculating, violent, sinister

Subtext Logline: Ryan blackmails Ellen into revealing details of her past to entertain the on-air audience.

Name: Det. Sorensen –

Traits: confident, controlling, cynical/sarcastic, compassionate

Subtext Logline: Det Sorenson is assigned to the investigation and must strengthen Ellen to keep her engaged with the suspect to save her family.

SCENE:

INT. COMMON AREA – CONTINUOUS

Sorensen on the phone with his lieutenant.

SORENSEN

Go, Phil.

PHIL

We got a GPS lock on the husband’s phone. We have a warrant, and SWAT is in route.

SORENSEN

How soon?

PHIL

Ten minutes.

SORENSEN

Damn it! We don’t have ten minutes! Goose their asses!

INT. SWAT VAN – MOVING – CONTINUOUS

The SWAT team is checking weapons. The COMMANDER is giving final instruction.

COMMANDER

This is a multiple hostage situation. Father and two daughters. Ten and twelve. Negotiations with the suspect have failed. He is armed and threatening to kill one hostage on the hour.

(with emphasis)

This is a full breach scenario.

INT. EMPTY ROOM – CONTINUOUS

It’s a hazy, gloomy room. A CELL PHONE sits on the table in the corner, plugged in. The screen glows against the gloom. We HEAR ELLEN’S VOICE.

MOVE CLOSER TO THE PHONE. A software app is running, keeping the phone active, tuned into KCSF 1320. Ellen’s radio show. We HEAR the conversation between Ellen and Ryan over the phone.

INT. ON AIR STUDIO – CONTINUOUS

PLACEHOLDER: Ellen spares with Ryan. The conversation has ventured into Ellen’s troubled past.

INT. EMPTY ROOM – CONTINUOUS

The door BLASTS open. SWAT storms inside. We HEAR them raid the other rooms.

A DEAD MAN ROPED TO A CHAIR. Tortured to death.

We HEAR the SWAT team YELLING “CLEAR! — CLEAR! — CLEAR!”

INT. COMMON AREA – CONTINUOUS

Sorensen waiting on his phone. Then —

PHIL (O.S.)

(on phone)

Jack. It’s not him.

SORENSEN

What?

PHIL (O.S.)

They found the Uber driver. He’s dead. Tortured. And the husband’s phone. It’s tuned into Dr. Ellen’s show to keep it active so we could track the GPS.

SORENSEN

But the number…?

PHIL (O.S.)

He’s using another phone with some kind of spoof software to pirate the husband’s number. That why we couldn’t trace it.

(beat)

I’m sorry, Jack.

Sorensen hangs up and runs for the studio.

INT. ON AIR STUDIO – CONTINUOUS

Ellen is engaged with Ryan.

RYAN

Will you look at the time.

Ellen looks a the clock. One minute to the hour.

Sorensen enters the control booth. The look of his face tells Ellen everything. He shakes his head. They didn’t find Jason.

RYAN (CONT’D)

This hour has just flown by.

ELLEN

We need keep talking. This is good.

RYAN

For who? To let the police blunder into another red herring?

Ryan LAUGHS, sinister.

RYAN (CONT’D)

You can’t stall the inevitable.

ELLEN

Please. Talk to me. Let’s talk this through.

RYAN

The time for talking is over, Dr. Ellen. It’s time for you to choose.

ELLEN

No. Wait. What? I don’t know what mean.

RYAN

It’s time for you to choose who lives and who dies.

ELLEN

What?

RYAN

You didn’t think you were going to escape unscathed, did you? You need to accept your responsibility for your failure. Sacrifice and pain. Remember? It’s the path to your greatness.

ELLEN

Ryan — wait — no — please — please —

RYAN

Who is it going to be, doctor? Husband? Daughter? Lover? Child? Who do you love more? Or better yet, who do you love less?

ELLEN

Ryan, please! Please, don’t do this! Please!

RYAN

Parents say they love their children equally. But I’ve never believed that. It wasn’t true of mine. Parents play favorites. I wonder, which daughter is your favorite. Mackenzie? Samantha?

ELLEN

Please! Not my daughters!

RYAN

I think we have a winner.

Ryan sets down his phone. FOOTSTEPS away from the phone. A door being UNLOCKED. GIRLS SCREAMING. ROGER’S VOICE.

ROGER (O.S.)

(distant; on phone)

No, wait. Don’t. Stop. What are you doing?

Ellen stands up, her hands clutching her headset.

ELLEN

RYAN! RYAN!

SCUFFLING. Ryan forcing Roger into the room. The door SLAMS CLOSED. LOCKED.

ROGER

What are you doing? What’s happening?

ELLEN

ROGER?

ROGER

…Ellen…?

ELLEN

(whimpering)

…Roger…? Roger…?

ROGER

Ellen?

A long silence. Everybody listening.

ROGER (CONT’D)

Ellen…?

(beat; frightened)

I love you…

BOOM! The gun FIRES. A body HITS THE FLOOR. Silence.

Ellen, in shock, her breath stolen. She looks at everyone and nothing, waiting…

RYAN

This would be a good time for us to take a break. Don’t go away. We’ll be right back. And remember, I’m listening.

The call breaks.

Ellen SCREAMS and throws off her headset and explodes through the studio door, frantic.

INT. CONTROL BOOTH

Sorensen charges after her.

INT. COMMON AREA

Ellen collides into Sorensen, and she falls into his arms, sobbing, hysterical. Her legs give out, and he eases her to the floor. She almost vanishes in his arms.

[Kate Hawkes]

Kate’s Dramatic Irony

What I leaned doing this assignment is that the last 1/3 is pretty much all irony as we all know what is being planned and then as it unfolds only Darrogh doesn’t. (He is the Antagonist.)

Character names, traits and their SCL (Subtext Character Logline)

Nia – Kind, Hopeful, Manic, Principled, (In Denial, Self-censoring)

Nia is a naive and troubled young woman who must find her personal courage to face the truth of her father and family.

Darrogh – Greedy, Supremely confident, Smooth, (Lonely, Suspicious)

Darrogh is a lonely, suspicious billionaire who wants to buy up all the farmland around the village but is thwarted by his daughter and the locals.

DRAMATIC IRONY – THE ‘PLAY’ REVEAL SCENE

The play to expose the truth to D has been planned for a while – audience knows about it, D doesn’t.

(The Irony Part/Scene really happens over 3-4 scenes)

1) They are getting ready to greet him, he arrives and is greeted a special guest

2) the event/party unfolds and the play happens

3) the moment he realizes he has been taken

EXT. THE FIELD WITH A STAGE AND LIGHTS SET UP – EVENING

Nia, Shaunn and few of the other actors are nervously waiting for Darrogh to arrive.

MICHAEL

You guys have got this. After the speeches etc, Sarah sings, Ian sets up the scene with The Sting/King Lear context, then only a few minutes and – Kaboom!

NIA

What do you think he’s going to do?

MICHAEL

No idea.

SHAUNN

And beyond shouting a lot he can’t do anything.

SARAH

I’ll sing ‘A Spoonful of Sugar’ in my best Mary Poppins tone, and sit on his lap.

Luciana pokes her head around the corner.

LUCIANNA

He’s here! Have fun out there!

Buena Suerte

She grins and they all give a thumbs up as she leaves.

EXT.THE FIELD ELSEWHERE.

Darrogh is getting out of his Mercedes, parked way too close to the stage in spite of the designated parking signs. He is greeted by some of the local people (also in on the entire con and play.)

IAN

Mr. Magrath. Glad you could come.

DARROGH

It is my party, right? Wouldn’t miss it for anything. I hear there’s even a special play for me!

IAN

Indeed! Very special.

DARROGH

I bet my daughter had something to do with it, not that she’s saying. Quiet little thing but she loves her Father.

MRS SHIEL

And we love Nia. She’s a joy.You must be very proud of her.

DARROGH

We’re very close. She’s a bit soft never be a businesswoman. No real killer instinct. But that’s alright, I have enough for both of us and now I have this land? And will have the largest working landfill In The World? Well, she’ll be sticking close to her Daddy!

IAN

Daughters!

DARROGH

You got a daughter?

IAN

Oh yes – 3. The eldest helped put together that land deal. I hear you’re quite the businessman

DARROGH

I drive a hard bargain, and I always get my way.

MRS SHIEL

I’m sure you do Mr Macgrath.

DARROGH

Call me Darrogh. Now let’s go get this party started, eh?

Darrogh moves off as Ian, Mrs Sheil and a few others follow.

NOT WRITTEN YET BUT THIS HAPPENS SETTING UP THE MOMENT OF RECOGNITION

Have not written this middle piece of this giant act of irony. The performance part of the party is shown with snippets of speeches, music and then the special play is announced.

Suffice to say, Sarah sings ‘Cabaret’ followed by a scene adapted from The Sting mixed with King Lear. During it the location, the land use and even some of the characters (including the Latina Mayor Lucianna) are acted out right to the final ‘meeting’ with Darrogh/Lear and the sting itself.

Darrogh is increasingly uncomfortable, shifting in his seat and looking around.

EXT. STAGE UNDER LIGHTS – LATER

At the very end of the ‘play’ the cast standing on stage addressing Darrogh directly. Sarah sings ‘He Had It Coming’ from ‘Chicago’, with some new words.

Darrogh leaps out of his seat.

DARROGH

What does this mean? Are saying that was me? I don’t get taken. I’m a highly successful businessman. I always win!

IAN

Wait a moment Sir, there’s one more scene.

The document he signed is brought on to the stage by Min and she hands it to the Mayor, Lucianna.

MIN

Madam Mayor, the deeds to the land holdings here. All of them. The small farms, the big ranches – and your family land – this very hillside we are on now – all returned to the community.

DARROGH

No! That can’t be! I invested in a landfill! That’s where I put my money. Not a bunch of decrepit farms.

MIN

In your hurry to make the biggest deal you could, before someone else did, you signed this. It’s all legal. You don’t have any say in what actually happens here. And there are no guaranteed profit margins. You simply assumed that I, being Chinese, would want to make as much money as – well – as you do.

DARROGH

I invested everything I have into this. You told me -.

MIN

I didn’t say anything. You made up the story you wanted to hear.

LUCIANNA

You could not believe that a small nowhere town with a Latina female Mayor knew anything about money, so you didn’t take the time to check us out.

Darrogh sits down stunned.

DARROGH

How could this happen?

SHAUNN

Thy ambition,

Thou scarlet sin, robb’d this

bewailing land.

MICHAEL

Henry V111 – Shakespeare. And now one more scene from Mr. Shakespeare’s cannon.

He steps aside and Nia takes the stage. She is the image of Mother, dressed in a long gown that was hers and for a moment Darrogh sees only Amahla on the stage.

FLASHBACK

[Matthew Frendo]

Matthew Frendo’s Dramatic Irony

What I learned doing this assignment was how to use dramatic irony to enhance a scene. This makes it more intriguing and compelling and will make the script stronger.

INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – NIGHT

The Host grins maliciously, which the audience cheers.

HOST

Like I said, this is my last broadcast. And you didn’t think I would leave without a surprise or two, did you?

They all cheer.

HOST

I wasn’t sure we’d have time to display this, but our friends in biotech have created something new. Something…monstrous.

Huge applause.

An image of depraved, half-flayed undead humans appear on screen.

HOST

For the first time ever, scientists have found how to create real life zombies! Just like out of the movies of old. It’s not only the first monster of its kind, but the first time humans will be predators in the games!

The audience thunderous rolls.

HOST

And believe me when I tell you this…these zombies can do things those in Hollywood never could.

More cheers.

EXT. ABANDONED CIRCUS – NIGHT

Three zombies walk out of the cage, sniff and start running…fast!

INT. ODDITIES ROOM – NIGHT

The group looks at the weapons set up, with traps and whatnot, in the room.

ALICIA

Okay, so all they have left is the wolf, right?

NICK

Right. That’s the last beast left.

KRISTEN

I can’t believe we’re actually winning! Thank you, God!

JOCELYN

God? Thank you me for saving you.

JOSH

We’re gonna be heroes.

KRISTEN

Heck yes, we are!

JOSH

Just like Bullet.

NICK

Please. I’m gonna be bigger than Bullet. More money, more girls–

JOSH

And more food. Definitely more food.

Jocelyn looks him up and down, jokingly judging.

JOCELYN

Really? More food?

Alicia sits, relaxing for the first time. She even smiles.

ALICIA

I can’t believe we actually did it.

NICK

Believe it, homegirl! We are out in just–

SNAP!

They hear a trap go off outside, and Nick smiles big.

NICK

Let’s end this shit.

KRISTEN

Heck yeah!

They walk to the entrance…

EXT. ODDITIES ROOM – NIGHT

…and see the trap has shut. But it’s not a wolf. It’s one of the zombies, who looks at them and screams.

The scream deafens them, to where they have to cover their ears and freeze.

JOCELYN

Aah!

They look and see a zombie grab Jocelyn and bite into her shoulder.

Alicia uses her strength to release her ears and hit the zombie in the head, to get it off Jocelyn.

Then she crumples from the sound, pulled in by Nick at the last possible second.

INT. ODDITIES ROOM – NIGHT

They hear the screaming, but aren’t deafened inside.

JOSH

That’s not the wolf.

KRISTEN

I don’t know what that is.

JOCELYN

Zombies. It’s zombies.

KRISTEN

How do you know–

She stops as Jocelyn pulls her shirt off her shoulder…and shows a bite mark that is already pussing and gross.

JOCELYN

Pretty sure.

JOCELYN

There are new monsters this year. Just perfect.

[Antonio]

Antonio Flores’ Dramatic Irony

What did I learn doing this assignment?

I had originally planned for the audience to be deceived along with the protagonist into the situation, until the truth was revealed to her. But there might be an opportunity to add an action sequence in here. So this is an attempt to grab that opportunity. The protagonist still lives in oblivion until the second act, but I did not include that in here. I am just missing part 4 of the assignment. This lesson also gave me an idea to develop the protagonist subtext to another extreme by turning the relationship with her sister and her trauma into dramatic irony.

ASSIGNMENT

———-

CHARACTER: Parisa Nedellec, protagonist. A cheerleader coach who fights in the underground MMA to rescue her fiancé from the hands of a criminal ring led by The Ruler.

Traits: highly principled, perfectionist, extremely emotional… when nobody is looking, fearful / withdrawn

Subtext: extremely emotional… when nobody is looking

Character Subtext Logline: Parisa suffers of acute stress disorder, a type of anxiety caused by the traumatic experience of having watched her sister falling from top of a building and dying. Anxiety affects her sleep and now that her fiancé breaks up with her, the whole world is shattered.

INT. USA-CANADA BORDER — RESEARCH CENTER — SURVEILLANCE SYSTEM ROOM — DAY

The industrious research complex displays like a beehive on six flat screens assembled together. Each screen subdivides into six environments. The hands of a MAN operates the control table. The displays zoom-in into a selected set of camera feed.

The light of the six flat screens shines over the lifeless bodies of two security men on the floor.

Standing by the control table, A MAN IN A TUNIC raises his index finger. The hood of his tunic covers his face, except for a goatee. The man on the control table speaks into a walkie-talkie.

INT. RESEARCH CUBICLE 7 — STORAGE — DAY

Philip enters the cubicle holding his gun with both hands.

PHILIP

Doctor Baldwin… Doctor McGregor… Stephens? Anybody here?

JANITOR

They… they’re all dead.

PHILLIP

Who is this? You can come out. It’s OK now.

INT. RESEARCH CENTER — SURVEILLANCE SYSTEM ROOM — DAY

A hand presses the AUDIO button on the control table. The button lights up.

SURVEILLANCE CAMERA POV

MONITOR 2 — RESEARCH CUBICLE 7

The janitor comes out of the storage room to join Philip.

JANITOR

(through speaker) I’m… I’m the janitor. Name’s Bahadur.

PHILIP

(through speaker) OK, hero. I need to know everything you saw.

The Man in a Tunic rubs his goatee.

SURVEILLANCE CAMERA POV

MONITOR 1 — GATE D: ACCESS TO CUBICLES 5 TO 10

Three men armed with sub-machine guns dash through the aisle.

MONITOR 2 — RESEARCH CUBICLE 7

BADAHUR

(through speaker) Baldwin’s there (points at the floor inside storage) — before dying, he asked me to memorize some numbers.

BACK TO CUBICLE 7

BADAHUR (CONT’D)

Everyone else is dead.

PHILIP

How did you manage to—

BADAHUR

I was in the storage. Nobody saw me.

PHILIP

Any idea what those numbers are? What did they look like?

BADAHUR

Not sure, uh, coordinates?

PHILIP

What makes you think so?

UNDERNEATH THE CUBICLE’S DOOR…

… a shadow seems to go across the aisle outside the door.

BADAHUR

There are two sets. Each set starts with a letter. Could be longitude and… WATCH IT!

Philip and Badahur quickly dodge. Philip blindly fires his gun towards the cubicle’s door.

The door quickly slams closed. Two canisters roll on the floor. Even with the open wall that used to be a window, the room quickly fills up with smoke.

Philip motions Bahadur to jump out of the hole in the wall that used to be a window.

Badahur steps out into the air praying to land on top of the sunscreen shed at the bus stop two floors bellow.

Philip dashes through the hole. In the last moment, non-stop, he turns around to jump backwards.

As his feet jump off the edge of the room, he fires his gun three times at the men coming through the door.

He Parkour-spins in mid-air to land on his feet on top of the bus stop’s sunscreen shed.

THE RUNAWAY — MONTAGE

— Bahadur and Philip run through cars

— Hang underneath a truck

— Break traffic light rules and dance avoiding cars

— Mingle along a flood of pedestrians walking down street markets

— Go across buildings into narrow alleys with a stray dogs

— Take a peak-hour sardine-packed subway

— Walk on railroad tracks at sunset. Their predators seem to be nowhere in sight.

PHILIP (V.O)

Hey, Hero. You have anyone close?

BAHADUR (V.O)

M-my fiancee.

PHILIP (V.O)

Anyone else?

BAHADUR (V.O)

Only her.

PHILIP (V.O)

Unless you want her dead, call her now. Break up with her. Even better, tell her to get the fuck out of town. Call her now.

BAHADUR (V.O)

But we—

PHILIP (V.O)

Hey, listen. You want her to live? Call her right now! I mean NOW.

INT. PARIS — A GLOOMY, SHABBY FITNESS ROOM (PARIS) — A WEEK LATER

A treadmill’s control panel glows in the darkness like an old, dormant, otherworldly creature not to be disturbed.

SUPER: A WEEK LATER, PARIS, 4:30 AM

Dressed in dark color skintight action-wear, the slim, athletic silhouette of a WOMAN climbs on the machine. She pours water on her head. Her strong yet delicate hand pushes the console start button.

Pictures on the wall show memories of PARISA NEDELLEC career as cheerleader and coach. She replaces the tape blocking a legend “Mom & Dad’s Masterpiece“ engraved on a frame with a picture of her as a child. She’s cursed to spend a lifetime in the narrow world of physical beauty. Except that… she does’t go for any of that.

PARISA (V.O.)

(crooning)

Say we’re going far while I’m here,

stuck in the same old place.

She quickly wipes off the tears coming from…

HER CAPTIVATING EYES

that now focus on the console controls with expert attitude. Her fingers push the…

UP ARROWS

All digits roll up on the display, Distance. Speed. She sets her standards pretty high.

PARISA (V.O.)

(crooning)

Show me miles and miles.

Make me feel I’m reaching.

She clears off some more tears. A deep breath helps swallow the pain.

Wireless earphones in place, she drops her cellphone in the console’s deck. A sound…

SHRIEEEK…

… frees the loud cry of the flywheel begging for maintenance or, perhaps, it is the first guitar chord of an electronic song that sets the reluctant treadmill ship off on a fitness journey — with Parisa on the helm.

Her sneakers rhythmically pound on the band. She progressively builds up speed. Then slows down to add some Thai-boxing moves to her jogging.

Jab-jab. Block. Uppercut. Jab-jab. Grab-pull-knee-thrust.

SHRIEEEK…

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by  Antonio Flores.
• This reply was modified 3 years ago by  Antonio Flores.
• This reply was modified 3 years ago by  Antonio Flores.

[Michael O’Keefe]

Day 3: Dramatic Irony – Assignment

Mike O – Dramatic Irony

What I learned is… giving the audience an insight and then watching it play out really engages the reader/viewer.

1. List your character names along w/ each character’s traits, their SCL (Subtext Character Logline) above the scene.

2. Look through your outline & find a scene that you could use today’s technique on. A scene where you can go to an extreme with the technique.

3. Start by revealing something to us that one or more characters don’t know.

4. Conclude your scene w/ the moment of recognition when the characters discover what’s really going on.

=======================================================

Brooklyn traits, her subtext character & logline

Brooklyn traits

Trait 1- Workaholic – obsessed with her work, her art

Trait 2 – Romantic

Trait 3 – Indecisive and struggles w/ OCD

Trait 4 – Yearns to be a successful artist

Subtext Character: Conflicted, In denial — unwilling to acknowledge her pain, her loss.

Character Logline: Brooklyn, a gifted painter who hides in her work in order to avoid facing life.

===================================================================

EXT. CAFE – CONTINUOUS

Brooklyn is taken in by the cleanliness: no graffiti, no trash, no litter, not one homeless person.

BROOKLYN (to herself) “Dorothy, you’re no longer in Kansas.”

Every patio table is taken, save for one. Mesmerized by the sunlight filtering through the aspen leaves that surround the deck, BROOKLYN stands at the waist-high wood fence railing and takes it in.

WAITRESS “Hon, gate is on your left. You wanna’ eat out here, or inside?”

Brooklyn points to the empty table. And as she swings open the gate and steps onto the deck…

INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY

The entry opens into a receptionist’s area and desk. The hardwood floors are old, but in pristine shape.

Half-dozen strategically-placed, potted plants prevent the cherry wood from overwhelming the space. The vibrant oil paintings complement the textured, off-white walls.

Behind the front desk, a large office. At the moment, the door is open. Inside, floor-to-ceiling book cases.

The mountain range seen through the picture window, catty-corner to the antique, roll-top desk, is awe-inspiring.

We HEAR a commode FLUSH. Moment later, phone RINGS. CLOSE ON DESK PHONE as it CHIMES.

Right of the desk, a section of the wall paneling slides open to REVEAL ALAN WORTHINGTON.

Suit and tie, late thirties, dark hair with a little salt mixed in, answers the phone.

ALAN “Worthington Law Offices, this is Alan. How may I help you?

INTERCUT: BROOKLYN SIPPING ICE TEA – ALAN AT HIS DESK.

BROOKLYN “I’m at the Cold Creek Cafe about to order lunch.”

Brooklyn, pencils in a shadow on one of the aspens, then begins to sketch the heart carved into the tree’s bark. CLOSE ON the HEART carved into the bark. Inside it, two sets of initials.

INSERT – HEART

JM + RR

BACK TO SCENE.

BROOKLYN “I’m wearing a flower-print blouse and jeans.”

ALAN “Excellent. I’ll see you in a few.”

Brooklyn sets the phone on the table, returns to her drawing. Years old, the graffiti on the tree makes her smile.

BROOKLYN (at a whisper) “Young love…

TIGHT ON doorway between the restaurant proper and the deck. A MATRONLY BLOND FILLS FRAME.

RUBY Reynolds (62) true blond with a cook’s girth and a grandmother’s perfect smile, watches Brooklyn sketch. The town’s unofficial grandmother, she has been a Wintergreen resident since childhood.

Intrigued, Ruby makes her way over to the table — meeting and greeting along the way as is her schtick.

RUBY (eyes sketch pad) “Your drawing? May I see?”

Brooklyn happily complies turning the paper so the lady is able to see the partially completed aspens and sunlight.

RUBY “Love the trees. I can feel the sunlight. (beat – then) I used to draw. Wasn’t very good.”

Ruby stares at the tree with carved heart and initials, starts to say something — stops. She unconsciously RUBS her left shoulder: An itch? A nicotine patch?

ALAN (O.S.) “Ruby Reynolds, is that you?”

Ruby’s expression instantly brightens, she turns to face the man whose voice she’d recognize anywhere.

Brooklyn does not yet know, the initials stand for Ruby and her father!! Audience knows!!

REVERSE ANGLE ON — Alan striding over and giving Ruby her mandatory hug.

ALAN “When did you get back?”

Giving Ruby his full attention, Alan is unaware Brooklyn is observing him.

RUBY “Yesterday morning. Hurricane was threatening. Last one to hit St. Thomas taught me better than to wait it out.”

ALAN “Prudent course of action. I called, let Colleen know I would be having lunch on the deck.

(looks around) I’m meeting with a client. Joshua’s daughter.”

Ruby gives his hand a squeeze and as she turns to leave, Ruby flashes Brooklyn a glad-to-have-met-you smile.

THERE IS NO MOMENT HERE WHERE BROOKLYN PIECES IT TOGETHER!!! COULDN’T GET IT TO WORK ?? It becomes evident to her later on at the grave yard;;;; guess it will remain an Easter egg, a set up/pay chain.