Day 3 Assignments

[Megan Schemenauer]

Megan’s Pilot Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is…that it will be easier to write something that is well-planned (and therefore basically already created). I also learned that I need to become fluent in creating turning points, since they occur far more often in a show than I realized.

Still brainstorming for a more engaging teaser, but here’s what I’ve got so far.

TEASER:

Essence: Lexie getting dressed for the first day of school. Checking her outfit and appearance in the mirror. Possibly recording herself on her first day of high school? Alexis, however, is the VO we hear, reflecting on the importance of trust.

Turning Point: Lexie walks outside to meet her childhood best friend Betsy, who makes a tactless comment about the outfit Lexie spent so much time analyzing.

ACT 1:

Essence: Lexie feels terrified at high school and shut out at home. Bus driver gets her name wrong. Cafeteria is noisy, crowded, nowhere to sit. Cafeteria lady gives her green beans after she says she doesn’t want them. Possibly a bully at school pulls a prank on her? Back at home, older sister and younger brother are happy and successful and have the full attention of mom and dad.

Turning Point: We see Lexie has been contemplating running away from home.

ACT 2:

Essence: Lexie’s English teacher gives the class an assignment: to write an email to their future selves.

Turning Point: After a particularly tense family dinner, Lexie not only writes the email but clicks send. In the morning, she finds she has received a response.

ACT 3:

Essence: Lexie probes to figure out if the email is real. Alexis’s email presents her as happy and successful. But we see Alexis’s actual work environment at a department store: Brett’s heavy-handed flirtation, Sterling’s competitive sniping. Alexis’s home life is empty and lonely.

Turning Point: We realize how close Alexis had been to suicide. She decides to continue emailing Lexie, ostensibly to help Lexie improve her life, but actually to improve hers.

ACT 4:

Essence: Lexie isn’t sure whether or not she can trust Alexis. It might be another, more elaborate prank. She reminds her mom about teaching her to drive but mom is too busy helping Lily with college applications.

Turning Point: In a fit of jealousy, Lexie messes with Lily’s college application essay. Alexis knows about it, moments after it happens. Lexie finally believes Alexis is her future self.

ACT 5:

Essence: Alexis gives Lexie her first piece of advice: Stop caring what other people think. She goes through a school day with this advice: corrects the bus driver who gets her name wrong, speaks up to the cafeteria worker who tries to give her green beans, speaks up when Betsy gets too bossy.

Lock In: For the first time this school year, Lexie actually enjoys school and it’s all thanks to Alexis. Return to Alexis’s VO about the value and importance of trust. Lexie is starting to trust Alexis, but the final scene reveals what Alexis really is: an undercover agent.

[Dave Arena]

What we learned doing this assignment is that we always thought of comedy scripts having 3 acts with also maybe having a cold open/teaser and a tag. So, we aren’t sure if we did this right or not. It did seem actually easier to break this down into even smaller chunks with more act breaks/turning points. We used the 4th act as our lock-in because Liz’s decision to help others with sex and relationship advice using her hair salon as a cover is the series. The 5th act became the tag which shows a bit more of her motivation and also we felt it was a strong cliffhanger to make the audience want to watch episode 2. Can anyone give us advice on whether this seems to be structured OK or should we revise it?

Teaser:

Essence: Liz’s VO on why swinging leads to a happy marriage while she’s having sex with someone in the swinger club while a bunch of people including her husband watch. Then, when a woman shows up in the doorway, Liz slams the door on her.

Turning Point: The woman was Liz’s childhood best friend who literally knows everything about her except that she’s been a swinger for 15 years.

Act 1:

Essence: Liz and Eric have to devise a plan to cover this up or do damage control on the potential exposure.

Turning Point: Liz admits to Eric that she is relieved that they are outed.

Act 2:

Essence: We meet Liz’s family where we realize how problematic this exposure can be for Liz and Eric.

Turning Point/Midpoint: Liz tells Eric that she wants to be out about their lifestyle cause she can’t live inauthentically anymore and doesn’t want to die with regrets.

Act 3:

Essence: Liz decides to help Michelle with her first swinger experience but it fails miserably.

Turning Point: Eric finds out about Liz helping Michelle and goes ballistic.

Act 4:

Essence: Liz reads a situation in a coffee shop and invites a woman to her hair salon for sex advice.

Lock In: In helping Michelle, Liz feels like she’s living her truth and purpose so she is now going to help others with sex and relationship advice using her hair salon as a front.

Act 5/Tag:

Essence: After the hair salon closes, Liz’s dad comes in to get his wig styled by Liz.

Turning Point: We understand that Liz’s motivation for helping others is because her dad is trans.

[Suzanne Frank]

Suzanne’s Pilot Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is … I keep pushing, keep asking the questions, and it keeps expanding.

Teaser:

Essence: Midnight masked adventurers (led by Tilda) prowling the French Quarter, apparently having fun AND doing good.

Turning Point: Tiny rebellions are the extent of what Tilda feels she can do.

Act 1:

Essence: Daily life in the quarter, with all the elements that make it NOLA during Mardi Gras

Turning Point: She’s from one of the leading families and tonight they have a huge meeting

Act 2:

Essence: Tilda and her cousin Zephyr are snarky as a family discussion elaborate and costumed ritual becomes feud and half of them try to leave.

Turning Point/Midpoint: Grandmere shoots the leader of the dissenters and takes the rest captive.

Act 3:

Essence: Everyone reacts, but one by one, fall into line, except Tilda.

Turning Point: Tilda is chased by her cousins into the French Quarter

Act 4:

Essence: Tilda, in an effort to blend in, makes out with a masked man in the crowded streets. She pulls him into an alley

Turning Point: They realize they aren’t in the 21st c. anymore

Act 5:

Essence: Tilda and J-P sneak into her family’s house in 18th c., looking for shelter.

Lock In: When she’s escaping, after mystically seeing the destruction of NOLA and the GOM, she’s called a quadroon.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Suzanne Frank.

[Sharilyn Kyle]

Sharilyn’s Pilot Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is…there’s a story behind every story.

Teaser:

• Essence: Over black, moans, groans, clicking keyboard sounds. Eating? Fucking? Typing? An excited “Yes!” Climax reached.

• Turning Point: A deep belch. Snoring.

Act 1:

• Essence: Song like Weird Al Yankovich’s “Eat it!” awakens grossly obese Erin who barely moves in a sunken twin bed. She feeds the birds and herself. Kids clamor at her window.

• Turning Point: Walley reviews Erin footage in his trailer alongside his blow-up doll girlfriend

Act 2:

• Essence: Erin gets weighed and washed by her caretaker, Ms. Chen & besty#2 Mi-Ya. Besty #1 Patty prances around, pumping Erin up for the day

• Turning Point/Midpoint: Later, alone, Erin falls and she can’t get up. She’s bleeding from somewhere. Parents Stu&Lu, Ms. Chen rush to her aid

Act 3:

• Essence: 1st Responders can’t get Erin out of her house. She’s humiliated.

• Turning Point: Her besty Patty protects, while Ms. Chen and Mi-Ya push Erin to do better for herself. Walley previews his “Fat Bitch Pitch” for porno

Act 4:

• Essence: Erin confides in Patty about her fat-shame. Patty confronts her Father, an ambulance driver. Erin & Patty reminisce

• Turning Point: Walley’s Erin footage goes viral

Act 5:

• Essence: Erin vows to lose weight. Porno press flags Erin footage.

• Lock In: Medic calls Erin revealing she lost a baby. WTF!?! She didn’t even know she was preggers!

[Tom Minier]

Tom’s Pilot Structure

I learned in this lesson that my interpretation of past lessons may not serve me well, and therefore I may need to rethink my concept. I am hoping to be able to salvage the essence of this story, but my big reveals where structured to happen later in the story, not in the pilot. My goal is to add more layers to story so that the reveals I have in place can stay where they are, but that may sacrifice the bingeworthiness of the story. While I love the examples being offered, they do not fit the genre I wanted to write for. I wish this insight would have been better explained early on as it would have changed the nature of the story I chose to write.

TEASER

Essence: We weave through the crowd on both sides of the protest as the tension rises.

Turning Point: The police begin to move in, gunfire erupts, chaos ensues.

ACT 1

Essence: 3 Weeks Earlier: Florida Man is in court defending himself for what feels like a senseless crime to everyone except him.

Turning Point: The judge tells him that the only way he isn’t going to jail is if he does community service and joins a support group that actually does good for the community.

ACT 2

Essence: Returning home we see Florida Man’s life, he’s an organized disaster, who’s life is revolving around solving conspiracy mysteries big and small.

Turning Point: Florida Man receives a mysterious email alluding to an upcoming protest that is actually a false flag event.

ACT 3

Essence: Florida Man meets Elliot, Twyla and the rest of the support group that will keep him out of jail.

Turning Point: He finds that each person has experienced loss during the pandemic that won’t allow them to return to the world they knew.

ACT 4

Essence: Florida Man is reluctant to open up about his life as he is accustom to being on his own and blending in.

Turning Point: Elliot and Twyla see the reluctance of Florida Man to participate personal information and in turn make him the leader of the group.

ACT 5

Essence: As the first session is winding down and Florida Man seemingly fails at inspiring the group, Twyla and Elliot offer a powerful piece of insight.

Lock In: Elliot and Twyla reveal that the group has a common bond, they are all craving revolution, but to each of them that means something different, and in order to achieve that revolution in their lives, they must learn to work together.