Day 3 Assignments

[Renee Brown]

Renee Brown’s Beat Sheet draft 1

“My scripts are the cream that rise to the top: I am an A-list screenwriter.”

What I learned: GOLW AGAIN is a “you are your own worst enemy” story. It therefore deals with the internal antagonists for Alley, Lillian and CJ. That said, and in the spirit of the exercise, it was interesting to see when each character was being their own antagonist by still using the Protagonist Journey (PJ) and Antagonist Journey (AJ) labels.

GLOW AGAIN

When a magical stone reunites two star-crossed lovers decades later in a small Montana town, they must abandon wounds of the past and confront buried secrets if they are to reignite true love and glow again.

Genre: Romantic Drama

Act 1: (Hope / Love)

(2001) Alley (PJ) Hopeful, talented young singer songwriter Alley sits alone in her bedroom. Sings her heart out – a song she wrote based on an old, tattered Postcard of Montana that her grandmother left behind.

Deeper Layer: Alley is Lillian Lamont’s granddaughter.

(1946) Lillian Lamont War torn Normandy. Lillian’s Mother’s funeral. Cries of Joy rise from the town. The war is over.

Deeper Layer: Adventurous Young Lillian longs for escape.

A parade for the American allies marches through the streets.

Inciting Incident: Lillian (PJ) catches the American penny that Joe (soldier) tosses from a tank in the parade. They fall in love and marry quickly. Joe ships out and gives Lillian a transport ticket to take the boat to meet him in America.

The Starcross Stone has been handed down by the Lamont’s, mother to daughter for generations.

Deeper Layer: When a lifechanging choice is at hand, The Starcross Stone glows when the holder makes a choice that will lead them to their deepest desire.

Lillian’s sister gives Lillian the Starcross Stone to take to America. It glows.

(2001) Wandering Street jeweler CJ (PJ) Falls for Alley on first touch when measuring her for a necklace. Alley (PJ) Falls for CJ.

Deeper Layer: Lillian (AJ) had filled young Alley’s head with shining knight stories of her soldier husband Joe and her love – declaring it perfect. From an early age, Alley has abandoned relationships when they showed any sign of non-perfect love.

(1946) Lillian (PJ) sitting on the dock in America, Joe is not there to retrieve her. They want to put her back on the boat to return to France. Lillian refuses. The Stone glows. Joe arrives at the last moment and Lillian reunites with her soldier.

Turning Point 1: (Heartbreak)

(2000) Alley (AJ) overhears CJ and Charlie slamming one of the singers at open mic and thinks they are talking about HER. She marches to “their spot” on the river and throws the necklace CJ made for her in.

Deeper Layer: Alley (AJ) misunderstood the conversation. They weren’t even talking about her. But she thinks he is slamming her ability and her dream.

Hurt and betrayed, Alley (AJ) confronts and leaves CJ on the spot. CJ (PJ) has no idea why. He (AJ) accuses Alley of having another lover. Alley (AJ) is so hurt; she lets him think he is right.

Hint to Reveal: During Alley’s POV on the breakup, we see that CJ (PJ) is mystified with her behavior.

Act 2; (Lost Years)

CJ (PJ) nurses his broken heart in recklessness. He gets drunk with best friend Charlie, his dog gets hit by a truck, and CJ gets into a near fatal accident taking Sam (dog) up the mountain to die at home.

(1946) Lillian (AJ) arrives in America only to realize her fantasy adventure lands her in deep woods Mississippi. Joe’s family has a hard time accepting the “Fancy French” outsider.

This is not Lillian’s idea of her American adventure. Lillian (AJ) packs her bags to bolt, the stone glows. She then finds out she is pregnant. She stays. The stone does not glow for decades.

(Present Day) Alley (AJ) buys the Starcross Stone in a Missoula antique shop. Alley’s apathy driven life falls apart. She loses her job and goes to Soaking Springs MT to regroup.

CJ (AJ), Now the groundskeeper at Lillian’s Resort Motel, spots Alley but does not yet reveal himself. CJ (AJ) re-lives the painful memories of Alley, the breakup, and his accident. In this way we see the other side of the breakup and realize Alley’s recollection is woefully inaccurate.

At first, we were sympathetic with Alley’s broken heart and we kinda think CJ (PJ) is a jerk. But after we see CJ’s (AJ) side, we are rooting for him, and frustrated with Alley (PJ) for ruining both their lives by reacting so rashly to an innocent misunderstanding.

Deeper Layer: Both Alley (PJ) and CJ (PJ) have been living with the pain of betrayals that never happened. Their young lives spun into apathy and chaos because of prideful misunderstandings by both.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint:

(Present Day) Alley finds out her long-lost Grandma (Lillian) (AJ) has been in Soaking Springs the whole time, but has moved on to …?

Act 3: (A New Life)

(1990) Lillian (AJ) lands in Soaking Springs MT and uses the money from Joe’s life insurance to start Lillian’s Resort Motel. She runs it for decades.

Lillian (AJ) takes the Stone to Missoula to help pick out a thing, It falls out of her bag and is lost to Lillian. A homeless woman finds the stone and sells it to the antique owner for the price of her deepest desire: Another drink.

(2010) At the age of 83, instead of reuniting with any of the family she abandoned 30 years ago, Lillian (PJ) sells the Motel and checks herself into a rest home when she starts forgetting things.

(Present) CJ (AJ) reveals himself to Alley (PJ). Alley tells him she threw the necklace that he gave her into the river at “their spot”. Even in conflict, they feel the old flame to spite themselves.

Alley (PJ) and CJ (PJ)get in a fight about the past. Alley leaves Soaking Springs.

CJ (AJ) dives into the river to search for the necklace. It has been waiting, caught on a river wash tree for all these years.

He almost dies in this attempt when the underwater river wash tree breaks free from his efforts and rolls on him.

Turning Point 3:

(Present Day) Alley (AJ) finds out that Lillian is in a rest home in Missoula (only miles from Alley all these years). Via a letter from?

HINT: Letter includes the coin that Lillian used to wear around her neck (the one Joe threw from the tank), but it’s a dime, not a penny.

Act 4 Climax: (What is Love, Anyway)

(Present Day) CJ (AJ) takes the necklace to Alley and lays his heart on the line but is rebuffed by a confused Alley (PJ). He retreats with his re-broken heart.

Alley (AJ) finds the rest home, confronts Lillian. Asks Lillian if the stories she told of her love with Joe were true. Having made up a faux history for herself in Montana for so long, Lillian (PJ) hardy knows what was real and what wasn’t.

Alley (AJ) learns the romantic stories Lillian (PJ) told her years ago were mostly made up.

Deeper Layer: Alley (AJ) realizes she’s built her entire concept of love on a foundation of lies.

Disillusioned, Alley (AJ) leaves the Starcross Stone on Lillian’s dresser as she leaves.

Resolution: (Surrender)

Deeper Layer: Alley (AJ) realizes she has rejected her true love, twice!

Alley (AJ) swallows her pride, sheds her unrealistic expectations of perfect love and gives her heart to CJ. He (AJ) finally kisses her with epic abandon.

Lillian (AJ) finds the Starcrossed Stone that Alley left on her dresser. She holds it close to her heart as she lays down for a nap.

The Stone glows again, and Lillian (AJ) drifts off into sleep then into death and is reunited with Joe.

One of the rest home nurses sell the Stone to the same antique dealer who places it back in its case, where it sits until this day, waiting to glow again.

[Edward Brown]

edward brown beat sheet 1

I am getting it

learned need board with different color tabs for differenct characters. gave me insights and suggestions I would have missed if wrote out beats

so I did it by acts with differenct characters intgeracting and then plotted in subtext hidden

Need to do more but easy this way

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Beat Sheet 1^st Draft

Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.

What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: Pulling it all together we’re seeing the layers unfold for a promising story.

Act 1:

Opening: PJ: Abby is walking her dog down the street, both are in disposable booties, she is also in gloves and a mask.

Does an on-camera event from home, teaching viewers about organization. It’s from her home, there’s a studio set up in her home.

Deeper Layer: Abby is terrified of germs that why she has a home studio she can completely control.

Inciting Incident: Her father has a heart attack. She goes to the hospital and is told she is the only one who can take on the family business (cleaning) while the father recuperates.

Meets Jack at the Hospital elevator, not knowing he’s just visited her father.

AJ: Jack is in the elevator, exiting as the door opens (he’s just leaving visiting her Dad). Abby crashes into him, spilling the coffee he’s holding all over him. She’s apologetic, he doesn’t mind. There’s a spark.

Deeper Layer: Jack is a slob, so getting messy doesn’t bother him.

PJ: Turning Point: Goes to cleaning business, meets maids who are not welcoming, realizes that the business is in serious financial trouble, and someone is trying to take them over.

PJ / AJ: Abby physically runs into Jack again, this time he’s coming out of her Dad’s hospital room. Another mess. She asks if he knows her Dad. Jack just says they are friends. Jack’s phone rings and he has to leave, late for an appt. But this is where they recognize each other.

Abby goes to confront her Dad about the financial issues, but he feigns more heart trouble and she shuts up.

Deeper Layer: The business has been in trouble for quite some time, her Dad has been hiding the truth from her and everyone in the family.

Act 2:

PJ: New plan: Abby attempts to clean things up, first in the office. Trying to deal with germs. She tries to push the maids to do more work in less time. Runs into Jack again, and again.

PJ & AJ: Abby goes to speak with her brother, who is at the ballfield. She’s shocked to see Jack there. That they’ve been friends since childhood. She learns that Jack’s taken her dad’s place coaching, until he’s better. Her brother and Boomer, their friend, are helping.

AJ: Boomer realizes who Abby is and wants to get closer.

Deeper Layer: Boomer has been tasked with taking over the business for his father.

The past comes into play. How Abby became a germaphobe. Jack was actually there as well and helped her, like a Knight in shining armor.

PJ: Plan in action: Abby attempts to do some cleaning herself to see what the maids are up against. She goes to clean Jack’s home (not knowing it’s his home… until she does and is shocked). Tries to find a way out of the debt.

AJ: Jack tries to help her confront her fear. She’s trying to deal with him being a slob. She is back and forth on whether she can be with him.

Deeper Layer: Both need to make a change and they know it. Can they deal with the other person?

AJ: Midpoint Turning Point: The maids have had enough and issue a sick out/strike, no one is cleaning. The business gets a Notice of Action for failure to pay bills.

Deeper Layer: Boomer is paying off the maids to stay home.

Act 3:

PJ: Rethink everything: Abby thinks about selling the business. She can’t keep cleaning by herself. Tries to hire new people. Most are a big failure.

AJ: Jack doesn’t think he’s got a problem but is willing to try to do better for her.

Deeper Layer: he is in therapy.

AJ: New plan: Jack play’s Knight again and brings on his friend, Boomer, to look over the contracts and the accounting books and hopefully find a way out. Boomer says it’s over, best to sell as quick as possible.

AJ: Boomer is there and looking over the books.

Deeper Layer: Boomer plans to destroy her business. But he’s also feeling bad about it.

PJ: She gets a big job to prepare for an important formal event.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: new maids have quit. Bills are due, the lights are literally going out; clients are cancelling left and right.

Deeper Layer: Abby can’t do this anymore, she’s falling apart.

Abby’s stress makes her symptoms worse.

Act 4:

PJ/AJ: Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Abby and Jack find out Boomer is behind the takeover.

PJ: Abby blames Jack for exposing their company info to Boomer and accuses Jack of being in on it. She breaks up with him.

AJ: Jack is devastated. He goes after Boomer.

AJ: Boomer deflects, lies and then says it’s all his father’s idea.

Deeper Layer: Lifelong friendships are on the line.

PJ: Abby has to pull off the big event by herself. She goes to the maids one last time and apologizes.

Resolution: Maids feel sorry for her and help her nail the big event.

AJ: Jack shows up at the event, IN A TUX… he can be cleaned up and neat!

PJ: Abby is given a huge cleaning contract that will 10X the size of the business. Her Dad is well enough to come back. Abby puts the lead maid (who was her nemesis) in charge.

Boomer is fired by his dad for not making the deal happen.

Deeper Layer: Boomer comes clean and apologizes.

Jack shows Abby his plans for her business.

Abby goes on her book tour, in front of TV audiences.

EDIT! Abby suspects Jack was involved out of a misunderstanding. Either Boomer lies, she reads something, she overhears something.

[Rebecca Sukle]

Rebecca’s Beat Sheet Draft 1

Vision: My vision for my success in this program is to be the go-to writer for producers looking for incredible scripts for successful movies enjoyed by a vast viewing audience.

What I Learned: I learned that by using this method of combining previous assignments—4-Act Structure, Protagonist Journey Structure, Antagonist Journey Structure, Deeper Layer, and Genre Conventions— that although many items overlap I see the sequencing of this first draft along with alternate points of view.

Title: Ragman’s War

Genre: Action/Drama, based on a true story

Concept: To prevent coal and iron police from massacring men, women, and children working a picket line, a WWI Silver Star recipient must, without detection, execute the rabid commander who violently dominates their community.

Act 1:

Opening: 1917 Battlefield in France, American soldier sees a mortar blow up his brother. (Deeper Layer) He picks off 16 enemy soldiers but leaves the 17th man, their officer, remain alive. Watches the man’s reaction through his scope.

Sniper PJ1: American sniper watches a morter shell explode near his brother, checks on him, leaves a canteen, and promises to kill a few of the bastards. Scouting a near by woods he sniper kills 16 German soldiers following their leader but lets the officer live.

Bucholtz AJ1: Leutnant Bucholtz (2nd Lieutenant) leads his command through the woods during the height of battle nearby. He turns around and sees his troops bodies across the forest floor. The officer begs for death, to die with honor. He attempts suicide but can’t do it. (Deeper Layer) Instead, he must live with his disgrace, and his life goes downhill.

Beginning: Ten years later, Ragman, debates walking out with the other miners in solidarity with a UMWA called strike. His gut tells him the strike will lead to war, and he is done with God,war, and killing. Either way he is out of a job.

Ragman PJ 2: Reluctant to get involved in the UMW called strike, he walks out with the other men, moves to his parent’s nearby farm, purchases a pickup truck, and starts a junk recycling business with his father-in-law.

Bucholtz AJ2: At wars end the shell-shocked Leutnant Bucholtz ends up in a psychiatric hospital. When his titled `father visits, he claims the man is not his son. His privilege orders him to stay away from the estate, not to contact his mother, and change his name. Months later, after discharge, he finds the town where Mina and his love child live to make a life with them. When he learns that they died in a house explosion, Bucholtz gets into a drunken brawl, and the police arrest him for murder. His father uses his privilege to get Baldwin-Felts Agency to offer him a job in America and freedom if he accepts the offer.

Inciting Incident: An army of Coal and Iron Police invade the town and the brutal Commander, Bucholtz, violently dominates the community. (Surface Layer). Bucholtz and his men harass (Hint) Ragman. (Influences Surface Story)

Ragman PJ 3: Ragman, mine mechanic and WWI hero can’t figure out why the police commander targets his family for abuse. (Hint)

Bucholtz AJ4: (Influences Surface Story) Bucholtz, trained and commissioned as a strike breaker in West Virginia uses the detective agency to locate the American soldier who ruined his life. He maneuvers the agency (Hint) to send him to the Russellton coalfields. Bent on bringing the strike to a quick end, Bucholtz violently dominates the community, especially (Hint) Ragman and his brother involved with the union.

Turning Point: Buchlotz savagely whips Ragman’s brother, a carpenter who leads the miners with building barracks. Ragman promises to take over and complete the project that will embed him into the union war.

Ragman PJ5: After Ragman’s brother Ervin, a carpenter, is whipped by Bucholtz to stop progress on the building of union barracks, he promises to finish the project before the evictions. Incensed, (Influences Surface Story) Ragman throws rocks at a line of cans and yells profanities.

Bucholtz AJ6: Bucholtz learns that his father killed his mother before committing suicide. With the loss of everything that ever mattered to him, he focuses on revenge and gets drunk regularly. Bucholtz orders his mole to lure Ervin, the carpenter building barracks, to company property. Ervin refuses to fight back when threatened. Bucholtz removes a whip from his belt and cracks it across Ervin’s back. (Influences Surface Story) After several more bloody lashes when the man continues to absorb the pain and humiliation, Bucholtz goes berserk with repeated lashes until Ervin falls unconscious.

ACT 2:

New plan: Ragman enlists his radical younger brother Albert, ex-Marine boxing champ, to help finish the barracks. Whenever, Bucholtz harasses Ragman to provoke a fight, he heeds his wife’s advice to reign in his temper so not to be arrested or killed. (Influences Surface Story)

Bucholtz AJ7: Bucholtz orders his men to sabatague the building site.

Plan in action: After Bucholtz confiscates tarpaper rolls and other supplies, Ragman and Albert improvise to finish the housing on time.

Bucholtz AJ8: Alcohol and revenge fuel Bucholtz’s delusions and desire for Ragman’s wife Ludie, confusing her with his beloved Mina. He devises a plan for both revenge and possessing Ludie.

Midpoint Turning Point:

(Influences Surface Story) Bucholtz’s men to brutalize the younger brother of Ludie. Another trooper drags Ludie’s younger sister upstairs for sex. Bucholtz rapes Ludie. The women cover up the attack but Ludie becomes depressed.

Ragman PJ5: Near eviction day, Ragman helps his father-in-law Stan move to a house on a nearby farm while Ludie and her sister and brother pack. Upon his return, Ragman finds a hysterical Ludie and Reise (sister-in-law). They cry about the police leading their brother from the house with a noose around his neck. Ragman finds a catatonic Ben, vilified by the police.

Bucholtz AJ7: He waits until Ludie, her younger sister, and the girly brother are alone in the company house. He orders his men to take the boy up the road to brutalize him. He tells the remaining trooper to take the sister upstairs and enjoy her. Alone with Ludie, Bucholtz pleads for her to love him. When she resists, knocks her unconscious, tenderly removes her clothing, and kisses each part before he rapes her. Afterward, he redresses Lu and leaves, hopeful that she will bear his child.

ACT 3:

Rethink everything: Ragman helps Ludie’s father rent a house on a nearby farm and sells his invention so he can move Ludie and his sons away from Russellton. The carpenter recovers and leads barracks building in another town.

New Plan: Ervin recovers and leads the barracks building in a nearby town. Bucholtz arrests the carpenter on company property, whips him, and throws him in jail. Ragman and Albert break him out. Two weeks later he dies from flu and injury complications.

Ragman PJ 6: When Ervin doesn’t come home from work, Ragman and Albert search for him. They find the injured Ervin sharing a cell with a deathly ill man. They take on the jailers and escape with both prisoners.

Bucholtz AJ 8: Bucholtz lures the recovered Ervin onto company property, arrests him, and takes him to the lockup. When the man still does not resist his whipping, Bucholtz sees the devil, throws down his weapon, and exits the jail. In his quarters, he drinks a bottle of scotch and suffers vivid hallucinations before he passes out.

Midpoint Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift:

Ervin gets sick. Albert takes over and finishes the Curtisville barracks before he becomes and unable to work. Ragman gives up on the Harmarville project and miners move into unfinished barracks, some die.

Ragman and Ludie learn that her younger sister Reise is pregnant. They send her to Detroit to live with another sister. Ragman learns that Bucholtz raped Ludie.

Ragman PJ 7: Tensions build between Ragman and Ludie as she sinks ever deeper into depression. Things get worse after she returns from a two-week stay with her friend Dora. Ludie is thin, pale, and cut off her long hair. Ragman feels useless to help her. He throws more rocks (Influences Surface Story) and struggles to avoid encounters with Bucholtz.

Ragman PJ 8: Bernard, the young trooper ordered to rape Reise, Ludie’s younger sister, shows up at Stan’s house looking for her. He declares his love. (Major Reveal) Ragman chastises him for knocking up the girl, and learns Bucholtz is the father and raped Ludie. Ragman loses all control and runs out of the house. When calm, he returns and asks Bernard to spy on Bucholtz.

He moves his wife and sons to a river town far away from Russellton.

Bucholtz AJ9:

Months after the rape, Bucholtz encounters a hag at the bus stop and recognizes her as Ludie, no longer beautiful. When confronted she tells him that she killed the child, his last hope.

The company executives at Republic Steel call him on the carpet and issue a deadline to end the strike by any means. Pressured, Bucholtz comes up with a brilliant plan of revenge and victory. When Ragman’s brother leads the picket line, he will shoot the brother first to signal the hidden machine gunner to open fire on the crowd. Problem solved.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

Ragman confronts Bucholtz about impregnating his sister-in-law and Ludie’s rape. (Major Reveal) Bucholtz confesses to being the 17th man and bites off Ragman’s earlobe. The township constable arrests Ragman before Bucholtz can kill him.

Two weeks before the protest, Bernard shows up at Ragman’s door and gives him a journal written by Bucholtz with a plan to use a machine gun to mow down the picket line. Albert trains the pickets on peaceful protest; but Ragman decides to replace him.

Ragman PJ 9: Ragman calls union headquarters to ask for help. Anthony arrives, and the two devise a plan to kill Bucholtz and not get caught. With Anthony’s help Ragman discovers ways to redirect his anger into cunning and self-restraint in \order to kill the Commander.

Bucholtz AJ10:

Ragman confronts him at the barracks. Bucholtz tortures him by confessing to being the 17th man (Major Reveal), giving details of possessing Ludie and impregnating her. When Ragman grabs him, Bucholtz bites off his ear and puts him into a choke hold. The township constable intervenes and robs him of his kill. Bucholtz goes berserk, bludgeons and kills a scab chased by the Breaker Boys and blames it on the gang members.

Resolution:

Ragman, disguised, hides in the crowd his knife ready. An unsteady Bucholtz roars in on his horse as the crowd pushes Ragman away. Bucholtz aims his gun at Anthony, the shot a signal to open fire.

Ragman grabs a rock and throws it at Bucholtz. The gun goes off barely missing the machine gunner. The frightened the horse dumps Bucholtz, tramples him, and bolts away through the crowd. Shocked, police and protesters freeze in silence. Ragman slips out of his outer clothing undetected. The crowd cheers; Bucholtz is dead. Problem solved.

Ragman PJ10:

Ragman goads Albert into a fight, causing him to relapse, and replaces him with Anthony. The protest remains peaceful until Bucholtz arrives. Ragman moves in for the kill, but the crowd pushes him far away. He improvises, and hammers a stone towards Bucholtz. Ragman slips out of his outer clothes and into the crowd. Shocked, everyone remains silent. Ragman appears later to ask what happened.

Bucholtz AJ11: He storms into the protest and notices a new leader, the controlled crowd singing union songs. He aims his gun at the leader, a thump on his back unsteadiness his shot, he misses, the horse dumps him, bashes his head with its hooves, and he dies.

Deeper Layer: Ragman killed sixteen enemy soldiers but left the leader, the 17th man, live, a big mistake that only he can correct.

Changes Reality: The discovery changes the audience’s understanding of the motivation for Bucholtz’s ever-increasing attempts to trigger Ragman into a violent confrontation. It also explains why Ragman decides it has to be HIM to kill Bucholtz and save the mine families from being massacred.

[Pat Fitzgerald]

Pat Fitzgerald’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

Vision: I have the courage, conviction and talent to create contest winning screenplays and will go on to have my scripts optioned and produced.

What I Learned: To just let my mind flow, not worry about perfection and give myself permission to realize I can make changes in future lessons. And to keep in mind that I’m writing a comedy.

ACT 1: Rochelle AJ: Rochelle leaves a potential purchase open on her computer to greet a new resident to the assisted living home that she supervises.

Deeper Layer: Rochelle is OCD about online buying.

Jaki PJ: While tending to a toddler grandchild, Jaki gets a phone call from Rochelle – get your butt to the home, to do the clown welcome act.

Deeper Layer: Jaki and Rochelle, mother and daughter, have a tumultuous relationship.

Jaki: Arrives at the home, put on the clown suit and proceeds to do a silly welcoming clown act.

INCITING INCIDENT: Ajax (triangle character), new resident, remembers Jaki from her past life and blasts some upbeat music.

Jaki turns the clown act into a raunchy dance, much to the delight of Ajax, other residents and Rochelle’s embarrassment.

Jaki pays special attention to Ajax – she’s supposed to. He’s the new resident.

DEEPER LAYER: Jaki sees Ajax as a potential cash cow.

Jaki takes her clown/dance act to other assisted living home, to the shock, or sometimes delight of residents, their relatives and caregivers..

Jaki starts teaching dance classes at Rochelle’s assisted living home and visits Ajax regularly.

DEEPER LAYER: Jaki is out for Ajax’s money, so she thinks

Jaki’s newfound actions cause ROCHELLE to lose her free babysitter. She tries to turn to daycare, but she’s broke.

DEEPER LAYER: Conflict between Jaki and Rochelle.

Rochelle contacts Ajax’s family over her concerns that Jaki is out to bilk him for his money.

DEEPER LAYER: Rochelle is embarrassed by Jaki’s past.

Ajax’s family confront JAKI to tell her that they have complete control of his finances. No need to keep seeing him.

TURNING POINT ONE: Jaki realizes she genuinely cares for Ajax.

Jaki sneaks a visit Ajax and is devastated when a dementia episode causes him to not recognize her.

DEEPER LAYER: Jaki doesn’t consider herself worthy of love.

Jaki continues to give residents dance lessons until Rochelle insists her boss says she has to quit.

DEEPER LAYER: Rochelle needs a babysitter.

Residents protest the lack of fun dance classes by calling a local TV station to air their grievance.

Jaki returns to babysitting, but takes her grandchild outside the assisted living home and gives dance lessons through the window.

A local TV reporter shows up, to interview Jaki about the dance lessons.

Residents pour outside to show their new learned moves, and Rochelle puts a stop to what she considers nonsense.

Ajax watches the entire scene, beaming at Jaki, which she notices.

DEEPER LAYER: Rochelle’s embarrassment over her mother’s actions.

Much to Rochelle’s surprise, there’s a record number of applications for her assisted living home.

Jaki, grandchild in two, sneaks into Ajax’s room through a window – she just wants to talk with him.

Ajax sneaks into Rochelle’s office, looking for Jaki’s home address and discovers Rochelle’s financial records – it’s a mess.

TURNING POINT 2/MIDPOINT: Ajax’s family walks into his room, catches Jaki there and insists she’s trying to steal from him.

DEEPER LEVEL: Ajax’s family are superficial and only out for his money.

Ajax’s family insist to Rochelle that they will remove him from the home.

Later that night: Rochelle at her house, receives papers that she’s going to be evicted due to nonpayment of back rent.

Jaki sneaks into Ajax’s room at the assisted living home, realizes he has no memory of not recognizing her.

Jaki accepts Ajax as he is, dementia and all, sneaks him from assisted living, into her home.

Jaki and Ajax about to make love, when Rochelle with her daughter, in tears – she needs a place to stay.

Jaki tries to conceal Ajax’s presence, almost succeeds, but Ajax walks into the bathroom while Rochelle is taking a bath.

Next day, assisted living home: Knowing Ajax is at her mother’s house, Rochelle walks into pandemonium. Ajax is missing. His family is livid, threatening suing, pressing charges, whatever it takes to get their father home.

Rochelle calls Jaki, tells her that Ajax better be returned to the assisted living home.

DEEPER LAYER: Rochelle and Jaki need each other, whether or not they will admit it, even to themselves.

TURNING POINT 3: Ajax refuses to leave. Jaki takes his side. Rochelle is about to lose her job if she doesn’t turn her mother in as the “kidnapper.”

Rochelle at Jaki’s house – the two have the mother of all arguments. All differences are aired.

Ajax interrupts – he’ll return to the assisted living home, if Rochelle takes some budgeting tips from him. And if Jaki will accept his marriage proposal. Rochelle agrees. Jaki refuses.

DEEPER LAYER: Jaki doesn’t think she’s worthy of being loved.

Ajax phones his family, says he’s been kidnapped, but he likes where he is better than the assisted living home. He’s staying put – and he’s at Jaki’s house.

Ajax’s family call the police, to get Jaki arrested for kidnapping.

Jaki accepts Ajax’s proposal. She and Rochelle return him to the assisted living home just before Jaki would be arrested.

Ajax’s kids threaten to have him declared incompetent and will then have control over his money.

ACT 4: Jaki applies for a caregiver job at the assisted living home. She’ll support Ajax if necessary.

Ajax gives Rochelle a budget to follow, to get her out of debt.

Ajax is about to disown his family, but Jaki stops him. They might be assholes, but they’re his assholes and family is family.

RESOLUTION: Jaki and Ajax’s wedding. Rochelle is matron of honor. The assisted living gals who took dance lessons from Jaki perform their raunchy clown dance.

[Ian Greenham]

Ian Greenham’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

Vision: Completing this program will significantly enhance my screenwriting skills.

Doing this assignment I learned the mechanics of starting to build a Beat Sheet.

Four Act Structure

Act 1

Nurse Nicki Holder is convicted of
murdering a patient.
Aly Silvers successfully defends a
client against a murder charge.
Aly later collapses and is taken to
hospital by ambulance and diagnosed with leukemia.
Aly needs blood transfusions and a
bone marrow transplant.

Act 2

Nurse Jenny Levitt from the Blood Bank
is charged with finding a suitable donor for Aly.
Jenny meets Aly and sees a
remarkable similarity in appearance between her and a donor from the
women’s prison, Nicki Holder.
Jenny gets a donation from Nicki.

Act 3

After receiving a donation from
Nicki, Aly recovers.
Jenny tells Aly that Nicki is her identical
twin sister.
Aly visits Nicki and learns that she’s
in prison for a murder she claims she didn’t commit.

Act 4

Aly investigates Nicki’s conviction
and discovers serious flaws in the prosecution’s case.
Aly succeeds in a court petition to
have Nicki’s conviction set aside.

Protag Journey Structure

Beginning: Aly is a successful defense attorney, but having been raised as an only child in a foster home, she is very much alone in the world.

Middle: Aly is struck down with leukemia.

End: After a bone marrow transplant from a newly discovered identical twin sister, Aly recovers and comes to enjoy the fulfilment of having a close sibling.

Antag Journey Structure

Beginning: Nicki is serving a term in prison for a murder she claims she did not commit, but being a nurse by background, makes regular blood donations to the Blood Bank.

Middle: A nurse from the Blood Bank discovers through tests that Aly and Nicki are identical twin sisters, so Nicki agrees to make a bone marrow transplant to help save Aly’s life.

End: Nicki and Aly are reunited and come to appreciate the fulfilment of having a close sibling.

Deeper Layer

Aly’s sister Nicki did actually commit the murder, the victim being the father that abandoned the two of them before they were born.

Drama Genre Conventions

· Purpose: Emotional high stakes.

· Character-Driven Journey: Character’s internal journey.

· High Stakes Come from Within: The struggles come from within the characters.

· Emotionally Resonates: Audiences moved by the characters’ emotions.

· Challenging, Emotionally-Charged Situations: Characters challenged to the core by emotional situations and struggles.

· Real-life Situations: Stories grounded in reality.

[WIM: Module 4, Lesson 3: Beat Sheet Part 1 – July 16, 2022]

[CJ Knapp]

CJ’s Beat Sheet- Draft 1

Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.

WIL: That my PJ and AJ didn’t align as well as I thought so need to work through the flow to make sure the beats are in alignment.

Title: MEMORY HUNTERS

Concept:

In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.

ASSIGNMENT

Starting with your 4-Act Structure, add the following components into your story to create the first draft of your Beat Sheet.

Genre Conventions

After you fill in the blanks on your Beat Sheet, go back and do a quick pass to make sure they flow well.

PJ Beginning: Mya fights with her sister and refuses to deal with her childhood trauma to the point she has a brain tumor. Her sister wants her to see the doctor.

Surface Layer: Mya helps others recover lost memories to find family heirlooms, documents even some companies to help find where money has been “stashed” and acct numbers to retrieve the embezzled money.

AJ Beginning: Catherine gives press conference in break through tech – announces new contract with FBI – first subject psychopath -during press conference she saves a dog from an abusive owner

PJ Inciting Incident: Mya finds anomalies in the system logs where criminals are being visited off hours

Deeper Layer: Mya is looking for a way to forget her childhood traumatic memories when she was abducted by psychopath and tortured – she eventually escaped but not before seeing those who died before her and heard their cries / pleas.<div>

<div>

AJ Inciting Incident: She overhears Mya confront her boss Frank Yorgen about the log anomalies – Catherine steps in and buries the reports

Influences Surface Story: Mya studies the logs and videos to learn how subjects have hidden their memories so she can learn how to “hide” her memories</div><div>

PJ Turning Point 1: Mya keeps digging and her sister is kidnapped/ threatened that Mya needs to back off

AJ Turning Point 1: Catherine moves Mya’s training up to more aggressive criminals / minds

Hints: Why Mya is scouring the logs – her conversations with Terry the Sr. on the team.Terry is working with Catherine – he drops hints about the logs and Frank- as a red herring</div><div>

Act 2: Catherine decides to use her access to set her up as the one wrongfully using the system

Hints: Why Mya is scouring the logs – her conversations with Terry the Sr. on the team.</div><div>

PJ Act 2: Mya fights back by proving she wasn’t at work when her access was used – but it costs her – she was at the doctor’s for the brain tumor and that comes out

PJ Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mya is put in the mind of a psychopath

AJ Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mya has Terry switch Mya from embezzler to Psychopath

PJ Act 3: Mya must face her fears from her childhood

Major Reveal: The psychopath is the one who kidnapped her as a child, and she is the only living survivor – he has made a deal to finally get the one who got away in return he eliminates the CEO’s problem.</div><div>

PJ Turning Point 3: Mya fights back and destroys the mind of the psychopath

Changes Reality: When she comes face to face with the psychopath she initially spirals out of control and then learns she must face her memories and deal with them to be able to move past them.</div><div>

Act 3: Catherine reports Mya as incompetent and her fault after Mya survives

Hints – Mya is misled by Terry’s comments which points her to accuse </div><div>

Change in Reality – Mya must face her childhood and use that to save herself

PJ Act 4 Climax: Mya confronts Frank Yorgen and is proven wrong

PJ Turning Point 3: Catherine uses Mya’s accusation of Frank against her

AJ Act 4 Climax: Mya confronts Catherine – who thinks she’s gotten away with it

PJ Resolution: Mya remembers a memory from psychopath’s mind and realizes that it was Terry and CEO – she sends Terry into destroyed mind of Psychopath and destroys CEO.

AJ Resolution: Catherine is exposed to the media

</div></div>

[Bill kellas]

Module 4 — Lesson 3: Beat Sheet Part 1

My goal to have a show run at least 5 seasons and a movie both getting people choice.

Big picture helps clarify small parts.

2. Starting with your 4-Act Structure, add the following components into your story to create the first draft of your Beat Sheet.

4-Act Structure

THE 4-ACT STRUCTURE FOR LEAD CHARACTERS

Look at the story and who your character is in order to create their unique structure.

Beginning: Where does the character start?

Troy start as a quiet genius his love for Molly , his brother Cane animosity and loosing his mother and eyesight in a car accident changes everything.

Inciting incident: What propels them on their journey?

his love for Molly , his brother Cane animosity

Turning Point 1: A major twist that locks them into a conflict.

Canes animosity goes from best friend brother to worst enemy ,always critical ,arrogant ,attacking and putting him down in front of crowds.

Act 2: The character has a “normal response” to this change in their lives.

Troy avoids conflict by spending time with Molly and his sister Amy which make Cane even more upset.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: A twist that causes everything to change but keeps the character on the same journey.

Troy’s accident loosing his mother and eyesight in a car accident changes everything.

Act 3: The character rethinks their journey and makes a real change to solve things.

His brother leaves to be rebuilt as a transhuman and Troy has to learn how to overcome the world without his fleshly vision.

Turning Point 3: Another major twist that takes them to the biggest conflict.

Cane returned and acted like he was Troy and did things that hurt his relationship with Molly.

4th Act Climax: The ultimate experience/expression of this conflict.

Troy and Cane battle for Molly and the world’s future Cane kills Troy and regrets his destructive journey and bagging all for forgiveness starts the healing.

Resolution: Their world has changed. How did they end up after going through this journey?

Troy is resurrected and peace comes between the forces as God removes the deceiver,destroyer ,accuser who divided mankind. He stole their birthright of dominion,murdered as many as he could and destroyed their peaceful relationship’s.

Protag Journey Structures I see 5 year plus season and peoples choice award.

I learned that because the protagonist and the antagonist start out on the same team to hard to separate the twins.

Start with the Protagonist and your source material. Create a beginning, middle, and end of the character’s story.

3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.

Beginning:Troy opens playing 4 people in chess on the clock when he is informed he is the youngest man to ever win the coveted Fields metal for math problem solving by resolving quantamagazine.org/a-path-less-taken-to-the-peak-of-the-math-world- Cane says they have to get to school so they leave.Inciting Incident:Troy ,his brother and sister enter the new high school as some football players make unwanted whistles and comments about their sister Joy Cane thefuture antagonist jumps in and tells them to take it back. One of they ball players sneaks behind Cane and the quarterback try’s to push him Cane flips over and takes them all down . One big line backers try’s to get involved Troy trips him and the bell rings as the vice principal walks up. They all scurry to class.Turning Point 1: The VP and coach are talking about this new remarkable family telling the coach you should have seen these kids. The brother Troy’s the brains,Cane is the Braun and Joy is the beauty. We must get them to come out and play for us.Act 2:Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: the boys both like the next door neighbor MOLLY. When she chooses Troy it starts the twins splitting apart The family is driving in moms car and gets into a life changing accident that separates them from each other physically,emotionally and spiritually . They become at odds with each other on everything as Cane becomes Troy’s nemesis.Act 3: Turning Point 3:as Cane is being fix with technology’s best Troy is receiving powers from God Act 4 Climax: They meet for all the marbles as both the fate of the world and mankind will be decided by the outcome Resolution 4. The boy’s make amends and the world is a better place as they go after the powers that sought to divide them and pit them against each other.

Antag Journey Structure

Cane is the natural leader smart,good looking and a great athlete.He’s used to getting his way up until loosing Molly to Troy. That and the car accident that broke his limbs changed him from dominate take charge to a victim vengeance bully driven man.

Deeper Layer

All the family has been trained in the USSR as scientist,spy,analyst and assassin. Each one and their real mission will be revealed before we are done .

Genre Conventions action thriller mystery

3. After you fill in the blanks on your Beat Sheet, go back and do a quick pass to make sure they flow well.

4. At the top of the page, tell us your one-sentence vision for your success from this program.

5. Under your vision, answer the question, “What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”

[Linda Anderson]

Linda Anderson’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

Vision for your success from this program:

Audiences around the world view and love my meaningful screenplays—one of the most satisfying and energizing accomplishments of my life.

What I learned from doing this assignment is it was hard not to fill in more blanks but I tried to stay with only the beat sheet aspects that were asked for in this exercise.

DRAFT 1, Beat Sheet

Act 1:

Opening:

Allen, as a rookie police officer in Atlanta, is ambushed by a criminal in the night aiming a gun at his head. His mentor/trainer, Bruce, tells him on the police radio that nothing is as important as going home.

Ten years later in Minneapolis, the opening image is shown to actually be Allen’s PTSD nightmare/memory. His wife, Linda, as if in a regular routine, jumps out of bed for her safety and watches him thrashing. After he quiets down, she gently wakes him, slips back into bed, and comforts him.

Inciting Incident:

An emotionally damaged dog (black cocker spaniel) is abandoned on a lonely highway on a dark and rainy night. A couple of bikers on Harleys pick him up. They dump him at an animal shelter.

Allen and Linda visit the shelter, hear Leaf’s story, and impulsively adopt him. On the way home, they discover he hates Harleys and being called Harley so when they take him for his first walk in the park and he rolls around in a pile of leaves, they rename him Leaf.

Turning Point 1:

Leaf turns their home into a war zone, growls at strangers, chases the family’s cats, and if he bites someone, risks animal control taking him away or even, being euthanized.

Allen and Linda must juggle their home business of writing popular animal books and dealing with all of Leaf’s issues with Allen’s day job that requires extensive travel. Linda, workaholic and perfectionist, is overwhelmed. They have lost all work-life balance—if they ever had it. No time for play when Allen suggests they take dance lessons.

At Allen’s day job, he gets a call from his doctor who tells him he has a brain aneurysm that could burst at any time and requires brain surgery. The news reignites his fears of becoming like his angry and abusive father, debilitated by a stroke for the rest of his miserable life.

Act 2:

New plan:

Allen creates “The Memo” with factual information to keep Linda from being emotional and crying. Linda freaks out but stoically pulls herself back together.

Allen and Linda visit the young-looking “Doogie Howser” neurosurgeon and prep for brain surgery. The doctor tells Allen he also has a blood clot, aimed at his heart that could kill him instantly.

Plan in action:

Allen stuffs down his emotions with methodical plans for his demise. He takes breaks by focusing on helping Leaf with the dog’s PTSD and abandonment terrors.

He creates a Manual to show Linda (who hasn’t dealt much with the technical and financial aspects of their married life) how to do everything with bills, passwords, etc. in case she becomes a widow. Linda has a meltdown when Allen gives her The Manual.

Midpoint Turning Point 2:

Allen dreams he won’t survive the surgery. The dream shows he’s been denied a ticket to The Building of Life.

Allen tells Linda the dream with Leaf listening. Leaf starts tearing up little pieces of paper, following Allen everywhere, and trying to give him the pieces. Linda and Allen don’t know why Leaf is doing this and take newspapers off coffee table so he has to stop.

Act 3:

Rethink everything:

Allen has to face his fears, emotions, and intense need for privacy and independence now that he has very little control over what’s happening with him, Leaf, and Linda’s reactions to their situation.

Allen and Leaf continue to mirror each other’s deep wounds, fears, and emotional needs.

Allen gets news that his mentor, Bruce, has been shot and killed while in the line of duty. Bruce didn’t make it back home. Will Allen?

New plan:

Allen starts opening up to Linda and talking to her about how he’s feeling.

He begins observing Leaf’s innate survival skills for help with their mutual traumas.

Allen starts taking beautiful photos and videos of Leaf and posts them on social media. A Leaf fan base begins to form.

Turning Point 3:

Huge failure / Major shift: Leaf delivers Allen’s ticket to The Building of Life.

The surgery is a nail-biter—much more involved and taking longer than expected. A Code Blue call to the operating room makes Linda think Allen is dying.

Linda is grateful Allen survived after the doctor tells her what a difficult surgery it turned out to be with the brain aneurysm looking as if it could burst at any time.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

Linda gathers her confidence, inner strength, and patience to help Allen with his post-surgery severe frontal lobe problems and steroids (make him think he’s Superman).

Allen and Linda fight over his traveling to work with his failing company’s important client. This is Allen needing to prove his life isn’t over. The trip is a disaster and setback for his healing.

Resolution:

During Allen’s surgery-related rages, Leaf comforts and keeps him calm, spontaneously giving him the emotional support that trained dogs do for people with PTSD.

Leaf gets pancreatitis and can’t tolerate prescription dog food. Allen lovingly starts routines of preparing all his food fresh to keep him alive.

Leaf learns to “be nice” and show empathy and friendliness to strangers and dogs at dog park.

Allen faces his greatest fear about becoming like his abusive and disabled father.

Leisurely nature walks with Leaf, coffee shop visits, and playtime with their other pets improve Allen and Linda’s work-life balance. They take couples’ ballroom dance lessons with Leaf joining in their living room practice sessions and Linda having to learn how to let Allen lead.

Leaf’s fan club blossoms on social media. Allen writes about his and Leaf’s dual journey.

Allen’s book gives hope to others who face brain surgery and other life-threatening situations.

[Leona Heraty]

Leona Heraty’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

My Vision: To be the best family comedy screenwriter in the industry and have my screenplays produced into fabulous movies, making audiences laugh a lot and making me independently wealthy!

What I learned from doing this assignment is…adding deeper layers now in the outline will give my story more depth and meaning and hopefully attract A-List actors!

Title: Termo-Lytes Attack!
Genre: Comedy (Sci-fi)
Concept: A teenage tour guide with an extreme fear of bugs takes a wrong turn and leads her group to an abandoned country club overrun by giant mutant termites.

Beat Sheet – Draft 1

ACT 1: Tara takes a wrong turn!

Big Betty/The Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ1: The toxic green goo oozes onto her lifeless body and then onto the lifeless bodies of her clan, and she slowly starts to move and get bigger and then her clan members move and get bigger too.

Deeper Layer: The green goo is dangerous because it brings termites back to life and makes them bigger!

Tara PJ 1: Tara is frightened when a bug flies into her car and she runs her car up on a curb, jumps out and climbs a tree as a cop laughs at her.

Tara PJ 2: Tara is annoyed when Davy crashes Tara’s pool party with Clare and Max, and makes a pest out of himself but he redeems himself by fixing her spraying floating pool filter and he fixes her broken Tiki torches.

Tara PJ 3: Tara’s Mom and Dad mention the Home Garden Tour and remind her she’s a backup driver if they need her they show her the map of the route but she turns red, then changes the subject and sneers when Davy says he might go on the tour with his grandmother.

Deeper Layer: Tara changes the subjects because she can’t read a map and it’s embarrassing for her.

INCITING INCIDENT: Tara’s parents coerce her into driving the tour group, despite her protests of not being able to read a map. Tara’s Dad say Tara is “lost in a found world.”

Tara PJ 4: Tara has a slight cold and has to drive Davy and his grandmother, Meg, on the home garden tour. Meg is a health nut and makes up spirulina drink for Tara and she makes her a green shake, while Davy drives her crazy with his constant bragging. Meg says “spirulina mixed with other stuff can do wonders for so many things.”

TURNING POINT 1: The storm starts, the map blows out the window and Tara’s cell phone goes dead. She makes a wrong turn and they end up at the abandoned country club.

ACT 2: Tara comes face-to-face with her greatest fear: giant bugs!

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ2: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes are 8 feet tall. She sniffs the air and says she smells brunch!

Tara PJ 5: Tara says this place gives her the creeps and she tries to run away, but Meg stops her and says they need to seek shelter or Tara’s cold could turn into pneumonia.

Tara PJ 6: Tara follows Meg and Davy to the main lobby but she and Davy get scared when she hears loud eating and growling sounds and she tries to run out but Meg stops them and says it’s just the wind blowing the palm trees against the building.

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ3: Big Betty and her clan are in a tunnel, which is directly underneath Tara and the group, who are in the lobby. Big Betty hears Tara and the group arguing and shushes the Termo-Lytes. She dips her long fingers in the green goo and writes BRUNCH in giant letters on the wall and draws and arrow pointing upward. The Termo-Lytes smile and nod yes and put their bibs on!

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes are carnivores and they plan to eat Tara and the group for brunch!

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Tara PJ 7: Tara falls into the secret room and the tunnel, followed by Meg and Davy. They come face-to-face with Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes!

ACT 3: Tara and the group must fight for their lives to stay alive!

Tara PJ 8: Tara sees LUNCH and the arrow scrawled on the all and is petrified and can’t speak. She points to it and Meg says this can’t be happening. Davy tries to be brave and charm Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes by offering to fix the broken door above them.

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ4: Big Betty turns on the charm, turning beautiful colors as she welcomes them to her humble home. The other Termo-Lytes look hungry and advance on them, but Big Betty holds them back and says they act like children and not to worry, they’re herbivores anyway.

Tara PJ 9: Tara tries to run away but the exit is blocked by Big Betty who insists that Tara and her friends stay for their Summer Solstice Feast. They will be her guests of honor!

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty won’t let Tara and the group leave. They’re trapped!

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ5: Big Betty reassures the group and talks about the “feast” of the Summer Solstice and how they’ll have all kinds of “yummy treats.” Big Betty talks about “future plans” and “goals” to “make things better around here.”

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ6: Meg’s water bottle filled with her green spirulina shake rolls out of her purse. Big Betty snatches it up. She admires it then takes a swig and says green is her new fave color! She grows one foot taller and turns dark red and orange flashing colors. Her eyes flash red. She gets mean and scary. She pours the rest of the green shake on the floor and tells the clan to have some. They lap it up and get one foot taller too. They all advance on Tara and the group.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty was lying! She and the Termo-Lytes are carnivores and they plan to eat Tara and her group for brunch!

Tara PJ 10: Davy starts munching on a Baby Ruth and offers Big Betty one. She snatches it out of his hands and gobbles it down. Tara grabs Davy’s stash of candy bars out of his backpack and hurls them towards the other end of the tunnel.

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ7: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes chase after the candy bars.

Tara PJ 11: Tara tells Meg and Davy to follow her back up the stairs. They run up the stairs and slam the door behind them as Big Betty and the Termo—Lytes almost catch them.

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ8: Big Betty tells the Termo-Lytes to follow her as they run down the tunnel and exit the building and stop by a big pool filled with palm fronds.

Tara PJ 12: Tara runs down a hallway off the lobby and sees and sign that points to the KITCHEN. She says they can hide there. The group goes in and discovers a makeshift lab with green goo.

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ9: While Meg breaks down and tells Tara that she owns the country club and the story behind the green good, Big Betty finds their hiding place, and talks to Davy behind the bared door of the kitchen. She lures him out into the hallway by telling him she has some Butterfingers she found in an old vending machine. He comes out into the hallway and she snatches him as he screams for help!

ACT 4: Tara saves Davy and she and the group kill Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes!

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ9: Big Betty drops Davy into the pool as the Termo-Lytes prepare for their summer solstice feast in at a dining room next to outdoor pool.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes will be celebrating their return to the living!

Tara PJ 12: Tara sneaks outside to steal some croquet balls and mallots in a grassy area near the pool. She hurls them at Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes to get their attention.

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ10: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes run away to catch the croquet balls.

Tara PJ 13: Tara gets Davy out of the pool. Tara and Davy make it back to the kitchen lab.

Climax: Tara PJ 14: Tara and Meg retreat to the kitchen lab, and Meg reveals she owns the abandoned country club. She was making a green substance to create an eco-friendly way to kills termites, but she added too much Turmeric!

Climax: Tara PJ 15: Tara notices that turned over bottle of Turmeric fell on the plant and it’s dying fast. Meg says they can dip the croquet balls in olive oil and sprinkle them with Turmeric.

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ11: Big Betty is on the patio area near the pool, where she leads them in a sing-a-long then they quickly set up the tables and decorations for the Summer Solstice Feast. It’s almost 12 pm and the exact hour when the sun cover the half-way mark on the tall totem by the pool.

Tara PJ 16: Tara and the group go outside and start hurling the croquet balls dipped in olive oil and turmeric at the Termo-Lytes. The Termo-Lytes gobble them up and die one by one, except for Betty.

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ12: Big Betty pops a poisoned croquet ball into her mouth, but doesn’t swallow it. She fakes like she’s dying to get their sympathy, and Tara falls for it…until Big Betty grabs Tara and threatens to eat her!

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty is the source of Tara’s childhood fear of bugs and lack of a sense of direction!

Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ13: Big Betty tells Tara she was one of the termites who chewed on her feet and legs when she was a kid and got lost in the Halloween corn maze.

Big Betty mocks Tara and says she’s an “easy prey” and will be fun to eat! Big Betty tells Tara she’s too afraid of bugs to ever fight back against the Termo-Lytes! Big Betty blames Tara for “putting the kibosh” on the Termo-Lytes comeback ten years ago! She blames the Sumerians for developing their crude pesticides 4,500 years ago and “putting the Termo-Lytes out of business!

Tara grabs the last of the Turmeric balls out of her pocket and and hurls it into Big Betty’s nostril. She breaths it in and dies instantly!

Tara PJ 17: Resolution: The group has survived the attack of the Termo-Lytes! They leave the abandoned country club and start walking down the road, away from the Termo-Lytes. A bug lands on Tara’s shoe and she just laughs. Tara is no longer afraid of bugs! A car pulls up and it’s Tara’s Mom and Dad, there to rescue them…better late then never.

One month later: Inside the kitchen lab: a rat knocks another jar of green goo on the floor. The jar breaks and the green goo seeps toward a hole in a baseboard, where termites eating away on the wood…the goo starts to cover them.

[Caroline Fritz]

[WIM] Caroline’s Beat Sheet – First Draft

My Vision: I will perfect my process of writing great scripts and be recognized by the industry as good at what I do and have successful movies produced.

What I learned: This was difficult, but I think I have a good start.

PJ: Callahan

AJ: Aaron

Act 1: Callahan takes a vacation to visit his American friends

Motivation: While on a holiday Callahan Terry, an MI6 agent, and his wife, Bridget, met Aaron Copley and his wife Gabrielle, at a resort in Sardinia and hit it off. The resort was attacked by terrorists and many people died, including Bridget. Aaron and Gabrielle helped Callahan and Aaron was the lead agent for the CIA in tracking down and arresting the terrorists. They have been trauma-bonded friends ever since.

PJ 1: Callahan is undercover at an event in Bahrain looking for a terrorist. He stops an attack on the members of the House of Khalifa and takes down the terrorist.

Deeper Layer: Callahan is a secret spy who presents as a mild-mannered pencil pusher.

PJ 2: Callahan travels to Virginia to see his American friends, Aaron and Gabrielle Copley. Aaron is a CIA agent.

Inciting Incident: Gabrielle is kidnapped on her way to the supermarket.

AJ 1: Aaron’s wife is kidnapped and Aaron disappears during the ransom drop.

Turning Point 1: Callahan shadows Aaron to the ransom drop and sees Aaron swept up, too.

AJ 2: Deeper Layer: Aaron is a corrupt CIA agent who is setting up his friend Callahan.

Act 2

Callahan is in a race to save his friends.

PJ 3: Callahan tries to report what happened to the CIA and he is interrogated and threatened with deportation.

Deeper Layer: The CIA dismisses Callahan but they have had Aaron under surveillance, unbeknownst to Callahan.

Midpoint turning point: Callahan hears from the kidnapper, an arms dealer who killed Callahan’s wife at a resort in Sardinia.

Escalation: The arms dealer beckons Callahan to his lair in Mexico.

Overwhelming Odds: Callahan embarks on a desperate cross-country trip to the arms dealer’s lair and sneaks into the heavily fortified fortress in the dark of night with the CIA on his trail.

PJ 4: Callahan must rely on his skills to lose his CIA tail and prepare himself to save his friends.

Act 3

New plan: He travels to Mexico to save his friends with the CIA after him.

Turning Point 3: huge failure/major shift: Callahan finds out that Aaron is on the arms dealer’s side and was paid to deliver him.

PJ 5: Callahan’s faith in Aaron is shattered when Aaron calls and taunts him

AJ 3: Aaron embraces his true evil self.

Act 4

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Callahan gets into a firefight with the arms dealer’s men.

PJ 5: Callahan is filled with rage but needs to be objective and smart.

Resolution: Aaron is arrested by the trailing CIA agents. The arms dealer gets away. Callahan rescues Gabrielle who had no idea what was going on.

AJ 4: Aaron is combative and smug as he is arrested.

PJ 6: Callahan is sad for Gabrielle and bewildered by what happened.

[Micki Hess]

Micki’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

My vision: Be recognized as a writer that will work with the industry and would do what it takes to be that WRITER.

What I learned from doing this assignment is I feel overwhelmed. Then I put all the outline assignments in one file and it made it easier to do this assignment. Once I did that, it turned out to be easier. Still putting layers upon layers. I can start seeing the movie.

Title: FIREWORKS

PROTAGONIST

DAKOTA TANNER

PROTAGONIST JOURNEY= DAKOTA PJ #

ANTAGONIST

BLAKE RILEY

ANTAGONIST JOURNEY=BLAKE AJ #

DEEPER LAYER

Beginning:

DAKOTA—She picks up a wedding dress.

DAKOTA PJ #1 Dakota expresses she wants to end the feud with her parents and Grandma May. And John will be here shortly.

BLAKE—-She wrote a letter to John in high school.

BLAKE AJ #1 Arrives at the lake house with her husband and children.

DEEPER LAYER: Dakota wants to end the feud with her sister so she can have happiness in her life.

BLAKE AJ #2 Starts a fight with Dakota.

Inciting Incident:

DAKOTA—Goes up to the attic to look for the tablecloth with Blake.

BLAKE—She goes up to the attic with Dakota.

BLAKE AJ #3 Refuses to help and sits on the sofa, watching Dakota looking for the tablecloth.

DEEPER LAYER: The tablecloth has a special meaning for Dakota and she wants to find it.

DAKOTA PJ #2 Dakota goes through the boxes in a corner. Notices Blake sitting.

Turning Point 1:

DAKOTA—Look for it and give up. Heads back down and the door is locked.

DAKOTA PJ #3 She pulls the plug.

BLAKE—-Sits on the sofa and watches Dakota.

BLAKE AJ #4 She gets up and sees a CD player and CDs, she finds a mixed jam Dakota and John made. She plays it.

DEEPER LAYER: The songs hurt Dakota.

Act 2:

DAKOTA—Realizes they are locked up in the attic.

BLAKE—She replugs the CD player and puts her favorite CD in and starts dancing..

DEEPER LAYER This is Dakota chance—she blows it.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint:

DAKOTA—Finds her old high school album and a letter falls to the floor.

DAKOTA PJ #4 Dakota sits down and starts to cry.

BLAKE—She grabs the fallen letter.

BLAKE AJ #5 She mocks Dakato’s crying.

DEEPER LAYER: Family is sometimes not thicker than water.

Act 3:

DAKOTA—A letter falls out.

DAKOTA PJ #5 She grabs the letter from Blake and sees the reason for the break-up.

BLAKE—Notice a motorcycle.

BLAKE AJ #6 Tells Dakota that she doesn’t deserve John, that he was hers to have.

DEEPER LAYER: Blake is jealous of Dakota and John’s high school relationship.

Turning Point 3:

DAKOTA—Dakota tells Blake she wants to end the feud.

DAKOTA PJ #5 She finds out why John broke up with her.

BLAKE—She finds out that Dakota wants to end the feud.

BLAKE AJ #7 Still wants John and will fight even though she has a husband and children.

DEEPER LAYER You have to fight to get what you want.

Act 4 Climax:

DAKOTA—She reads the letter and now knows why John broke up with her. She tells Blake that she and John are having a baby.

DAKOTA PJ #6 Dakota starts yelling and laughing at the same time.

BLAKE—She and Dakota fight.

BLAKE AJ #8 Still wants John and will fight for him.

DEEPER LAYER: Dakota fights for her family including her sister.

Resolution:

DAKOTA—-She marries John

BLAKE—She stands next to Dakota at the wedding.

DEEPER LAYER: Happinesses can happen if you truly want it.

[Paul Mahoney]

Paul Mahoney’s Beat Sheet draft 1

My vision is to be a successful full-time professional writer, who constantly learns, enjoys life, creates employment for others and brings joy, fun, fulfilment, health, happiness, inspiration & an attitude of gratitude to my partner and others.

What I learned with this assignment is that it’s starting to come together, even if it doesn’t make sense to other people, it makes sense to me.

Act 1: The Set Up

PJ1 Opening: Dan, a little fat kid watches other kids win races, be popular etc. He overhears Kyla and some other girls talk about how fast David Mohi is and how cute he is.

Deeper Layer – Kyla has more to say, but Dan doesn’t hear it.

PJ2 Inciting Incident: Dan enrols to race, loses big time and is embarrassed at a foot race.

AJ1 Primary school teacher Mrs. Wagner tells him that being the fastest or the most popular isn’t the most important thing in life – being happy and being the best you, you could possibly be and people will love you for that, I guarantee it. Dan doesn’t get it, “yeah right.”.

PJ3 Turning Point: Kid prays to God to make him the fastest at something, anything.

PJ4 Dan’s teenage years are hell as he realizes that he suffers from premature ejaculation and is the world’s fastest ejaculator. H

2^nd AJ1 Kyla studies hard and is accepted to study as a sex therapist.

PJ5 As an adult, Dan is super-embarrassed and shamed when his girlfriend/influencer announces him to be the world’s worst lover. He gets phone calls from people telling him what a loser he is. His life is hell and he gets a call from a woman wanting to talk to him about his sex life and he blows his stack and hangs up on her and blocks her number.

Deeper Layer – It is Kyla as an adult. She is concerned she rings back, but she is ghosted.

Act 2:

PJ6 Inciting Incident/New plan: Dan thinks his life is ruined and plans to commit suicide. He tries to hang himself from a pipe in his apartment that runs above his toilet. It breaks, he falls knocking himself out and is found in a very embarrassing position.

PJ 7 Dan ends up in a psychiatric ward. When he realises where he is, he plans to try and OD on pills by getting another Inmate to give him her pills.

2^nd AJ 2 Kyla sees Dan in the psychiatric ward and hides her face from him. When he asks, she denies she knows him and he tells her about the phone call that drove him to suicide, later on she calls her psychiatrist – ‘I’ve got a big problem.’

3^rd AJ – Klya tells her psychiatrist everything and that she has an ethical dilemma, she has feelings for Dan and has carried a torch for him for many years/decades.

4th AJ 2 Kyla’s psychiatrist tells her “It’s okay, I’ve got some tapes he can listen to and gives them to Dan to listen to before he goes to sleep.”

PJ8 Midpoint Turning Point: In the psychiatric ward Dan tries to OD on pills, but they turn out to be laxettes and he falls off the toilet pan and is concussed and… he sees God.

Act 3:

AJ2 God is his primary school teacher from all those years ago. She reveals to him her problems of getting people to act decent, so where better than to try at a primary school where kids are young and not yet set in their ways.

PJ8 Dan threatens to out God/Mrs. Wagner, but she replies and where do you think that will get you? Dan realises he’ll end up right where he is now, perhaps on even stronger medication, he’ll never get out.

PJ9 Dan rethinks everything: Dan realises that if he wants to be better, he must change the way he thinks.

PJ10 New plan: Dan tries to get a lobotomy, that Psychiatrist is proposing as a long term study.

5^th AJ2 Kyla learns that the Psychiatrist tape that he gave Dan starts off with calming ocean sounds, but then goes on about the benefits of getting a lobotomy/chemical castration. Psychiatrist reveals he loves Kyla and tries to get fresh. She busts him in the nose.

PJ10 Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: They won’t let him do a lobotomy.

Act 4:

PJ11 New psychiatrist says Dan is cured and fine to leave the facility.

Deeper Layer – During the assessment Dan can see Mrs. Wagner/God, but has to keep his mouth shut otherwise he could be put on heavy medication and locked up for ever.

6^th AJ2 Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Kyla reveals that she was also the girl from primary school all those years ago and if Dan had of hung around, she would have heard him say – but Dan is so sweet and adorable, isn’t he? All the other girls nod. Dan – Has to choose between Ex or Therapist. She also reveals that she was the one on the phone & had been ringing to offer him free assistance, but he hung up on her. She reveals that she loves him.

PJ11 Resolution – Chooses to be happy. Maybe that’s not being in a relationship right now. Maybe that’s me being comfortable with who I am before I can even think of committing to a relationship, understand? Kyla does, and he asks for a raincheck on going out.

[Robert Smith]

ROBERT SMITH’s BEAT SHEET DRAFT 1

ONE SENTENCE VISION FOR MY SUCCESS AFTER THIS PROGRAM:

To get my screenplay “Angels in Gangland” sold and produced. Then, I want to become a great writer who delivers more entertaining, informative, and uplifting scripts that sell and get produced.

WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS…?

The discipline of a beat sheet and how important it is not to wordsmith at this stage.

TITLE: “ANGELS IN GANGLAND”

LOU TASCA PROTAGONIST JOURNEY.

RABBI SOLOMON LEVINSKY (PROTAGONIST 2 JOURNEY) Spirit guide to Lou Tasca.

TONY RIZZO (ANTAGONIST JOURNEY) Mob boss who ordered Lou’s execution

BEGINNING: Tony (AJ) orders Carlo Vizzini to whack Lou (PJ) on the false charge that he spills their Giordano Family secrets to members of other Crime Families.

INCITING INCIDENT: In the hereafter (between two worlds) Lou meets an old neighbor Rabbi Solomon Levinsky (P2J) who will be Lou’s spirit guide. Solomon (P2J) tells Lou that because of his life of crime, he cannot advance to the World to Come. His only hope is to go back on a mission to persuade his killer, Carlo, to quit the mob, flip, and join the Witness Protection Program. If successful, then, Lou would advance to the World to Come. Lou also learns the real reason that Lou hade him whacked:

DEEPER LAYER (REVEAL): The real reason Tony (AJ) wanted Lou (PJ) eliminated is that he owes him $200,000 in gambling debts – not because of the false charge that Lou spills secrets to other Crime Families.

TURNING POINT 1: Rabbi Solomon (P2J) also tells Lou (PJ)that he wants a collateral good: That if Lou can persuade Carlo to quit the mob, Solomon’s apostate son, Sam, a Giordano Family associate will follow Carlo and do likewise. They leave on their mission which will begin at Carlo’s 30^th Birthday Party, in his Manhattan apartment.

ACT 2: Against Rabbi Solomon’s (P2J) guidance, instead of seeking a private time with Carlo, Lou (PJ) crashes the party and appears to Carlo, unseen by others. However, Carlo’s panicked reaction, plus, claiming to see the ghost of Lou Tasca convinces his boss, Tony Rizzo (AJ) that Carlo is insane, and therefore a liability to the mob who needs to be eliminated. Meanwhile, Tony (AJ) already (rightly) suspects Carlo and Sam of the mob world’s capital offense of dealing drugs on the side. Tony (AJ) calls Russian mob boss Oleg Oransky, his partner in a gasoline bootlegging racket to have his ex-KGB henchmen investigate Carlo and Sam to confirm his suspicions or prove them unfounded. Oleg agrees and promises a sitdown with Tony to discuss the findings.

Meanwhile, Sherrie (Carlo’s fiancé and a stripper at Tony’s Playhouse Gentlemen’s Club) believes Carlo’s ghost story and calls her pole dancing partner Zoey the Psychic Stripper to do a séance to remove Lou’s spirit from the apartment. Sam, the skeptic, leaves the apartment although he offers to help, if needed. But he wants nothing to do with a séance of Zoey because she is Tony Rizzo’s (AJ) mistress and he believes things will get crazier or even dangerous.

TURNING POINT 2: Solomon (P2J) and Lou (PJ) realize that Zoey will only prove to be a hindrance to their mission to save Carlo and Sam. To tell Zoey to bud out, Solomon teaches Lou how to spirit-possess Carlo to tell Zoey to get lost. She ends the séance, and quits the Playhouse, and Tony but not without sharing her experience with close associates of Tony and some of the other strippers, including an always inquisitive stripper named Michelle.

REVEAL: Michelle Ippolito is an FBI agent spying on Tony Rizzo

ACT 3. The Séance which is interrupted from the beginning by the spirit of a fan of Zoey from another club who doesn’t realize he’s dead and then, a familiar spirit aquainted with Zoey since she learned mediumship in Egypt. Finally, Lou (PJ), coached by Solomon (PJ) spirit-possesses Carlo and convinces Zoey to bud out as she will interfere with Lou and Solomon’s mission to save Carlo’s life and soul.

TURNING POINT 3: Sherrie believes Lou (PJ) and his message to quit the mob and turn to Witness Protection – she has wanted Carlo to quit. Then she realizes that Carlo killed Lou and leaves Carlo, breaking their engagement. Carlo leaves a voice mail with Sam to come over, as he needs his support. This looks ideal that they get Sam and Carlo together and maybe get both of them to quit the mob at the same time, but Lou and Solomon both know, Tony Rizzo could reach them first, with a gun.

ACT 4 CLIMAX Oleg and Tony (AJ) have their sitdown. Oleg tells Tony that his men found Carlo and Sam clean of drug dealing. Tony rejects their conclusion and plans to kill them. Oleg offers to bring in two assassins from Russia to poison them or kill them by sniper fire. Tony says he wants to do it quickly by himself. Oleg plays a tape of Don Primo Giordano dissing Tony and Tony decides he’ll create his own family, but without the crazy Carlo and Sam who are dealing drugs.

REVEAL: Oleg is revealed to be an FBI informant and speaks to his handlers on the phone. Dave who was Dmitri in an earlier seen is an FBI agent also, so was Michelle Ippolito who spied on Tony undercover as a stripper at Tony’s Playhouse.

Now they are resolved to save Carlo and Sam’s lives and persuade them to flip. Solomon (PJ) overhears Oleg and the FBI agent’s conversation and returns to Carlo’s apartment. Where Solomon spirit-possesses Carlo and warns Sam and Carlo to save their lives and flip. There is a conflagration of Sherrie, Oleg, Tony (AJ) and the FBI who try to persuade Tony also to join Witness Protection. Tony resists until Tony’s wife Lisa appears.

DEEPER LAYER (REVEAL): In addition to the other heretofore undercover FBI agents and iinformants, it is now revealed that Lisa has been an FBI informant.

ACT 4 CLIMAX (CONT’D) Lisa says she will forgive Tony (AJ) for all his infidelities if for the well-being of their marriage, their children, and their future, he would join the Witness Protection Program. Tony (AJ) agrees.

RESOLUTION: Escorted by FBI agents Dave Moore and Michelle Ippolito, Carlo and Sam, Oleg, Sherrie, Tony and Lisa exits to their destination in FBI custody and the Witness Protection Program while Lou (PJ) and Rabbi Solomon (P2J). Their mission accomplished Lou (PJ) and Solomon (P2J) also de-materialize headed to the World to Come, which Lou has now well earned.

DEEPER LAYER: There is a world beyond and it intersects with this world here and now, but people do not see it

[Amechi Ngwe]

Amechi’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

MY VISION
I am going to be a top 1% action/comedy writer in the industry who writes major action films.

* Beginning: Rhapsody beats up a group of thugs who attack her and sits in an apartment that is decorated like a shrine to the superhero Black Star.
• Beginning: Kanaan helps with a self-defense class but can’t defend himself or other people.
• Surface Layer: Kanaan is an awkward, afraid, and poor loner, who cleans toilets at a gym and can’t get a ride home that night.
• Beginning: Rhapsody is Black Star’s loyal sidekick and protects him while they fight crime and protect the city. She goes too far in a fight and he sends her home.
• Inciting Incident: Rhapsody is responsible when Black Star is injured and left behind while Kanaan gets Black Star to safety.
• Inciting Incident: Kanaan is afraid of the city, a victim, oppressed. He is attacked while on his way home. Black Star is injured saving Kanaan and Kanaan saves his life before Rhapsody can intervene.
• Inciting Incident: Black Star is injured helping Kanaan and allows Kanaan to help him get home.
• Turning Point 1: Kanaan asks if he can help Black Star as a reward for saving his life, and Black Star says Kanaan has earned Black Star’s trust and is allowed to be part of the investigation despite Rhapsody’s objection.
• Turning Point 1: Rhapsody corners Kanaan in Black Star’s lair and asks him what he’s doing there. She realizes that Kanaan is a threat to her relationship with Black Star. He says he is just there to help them.

• Act 2: Kanaan works with Black Star to investigate the mayor and tries to make friends with Rhapsody who resists and tries to push him out.
• Kanaan and Rhapsody go back to where Black Star was injured and get into a fight with the same guys who are still in the area. Rhapsody brings one of the weapons home. Kanaan steals some explosives.
• Turning Point 1: Black Star allows Kanaan to help him go after the guys who injured him.
• Act 2: Black Star wakes up. He almost died. He allows Kanaan to help with the investigation and helps to train him to fight properly.
• Black Star’s mentor trains Kanaan to fight properly and increases his confidence.
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Black Star is not liked by the people of the city, but Kanaan convinces him to keep fighting for them.
• Act 2: Rhapsody works to prove that Kanaan cannot help them and tries to pressure him to leave them alone. She investigates his life but can’t figure out where he lives.
• Influences Surface Story: Kanaan is able to get a job with the Mayor.
• Rhapsody is unhappy when Black Star takes credit for her work and releases a story to the media about the weapon she recovered. This is a pattern of behavior with him that she hates.

• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Rhapsody presents what she’s founds to Blackout, who rejects her evidence because it is redacted and she can’t prove anything. She follows Kanaan to his parents’ house and has dinner with his family, getting more intel on him.
• Kanaan returns to the gym and is a better fighter. He takes on his old friend in a fight and beats him easily, showing he’s been learning this whole time where he was just taking beatings in fights.
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Black Star’s mentor is killed and Kanaan takes over his responsibilities, despite Rhapsody’s protests.
• Act 3: Kanaan and Rhapsody break in to the Mayor’s penthouse to steal his computer but Rhapsody leaves Kanaan behind. He has to stand up for himself and fight his way out and makes a deal with the Mayor to be let go.
• Black Star is crushed by the death of his mentor. Kanaan stays to comfort him and Rhapsody leaves.
• Rhapsody talks to Kanaan’s mother and finds out about his arrest and legal trouble as a young person. While she’s doing this, she misses meeting up with Black Star who has been calling her.
• Act 3: Rhapsody lets her investigation of Kanaan get in the way of helping Black Star get the weapons off the street. She has a big fight with Blackout who is convinced that she is working against him, so she goes to get definitive proof that Kanaan has bad intentions and finds his apartment.
• Turning Point 3: Rhapsody goes to Kanaan’s apartment (the apartment from the opening scene), which is blown up. Rhapsody survives the murder attempt and goes after Kanaan, who she believes set her up to die.
Hints: Kanaan escaping the Mayor’s penthouse after investigating and talking to the Mayor. Their ideologies lining up near the end.
• Changes Reality: They were manipulating Black Star. Can they work together and be allies?

• Influences Surface Story: Kanaan survives Rhapsody leaving him to die.
• Act 3: Black Star has had many sidekicks, and has a shrine where he keeps things that remind him of them. Black Star thinks about giving up. Kanaan talks him into continuing.
• Turning Point 3: Black Star reveals his identity to Kanaan.
• Turning Point 3: Kanaan thinks he is Black Star’s sidekick now, but Rhapsody is alive and coming after Kanaan.
• Act 4 Climax: Kanaan denies having anything to do with Rhapsody’s near death and fights Rhapsody.
• Act 4 Climax: Black Star and Kanaan fight Rhapsody. Rhapsody shoots Black Star with the weapon, stunning him.
• Act 4 Climax: Rhapsody fights Kanaan, but Black Star intervenes Rhapsody is knocked into the river, seemingly dead.
• Resolution: Black Star adds Rhapsody’s mask to his shrine, and appoints Kanaan as his new sidekick.
• Resolution: Kanaan is Black Star’s new sidekick and they protect the city together.
• Resolution: Rhapsody survives. She has been rescued by the mayor and is turned against Black Star and the city and wants to see both suffer.
• Deeper Layer: Kanaan is working with the Mayor to get Black Star to go after organized criminals that are ruining his reelection campaign.
• Major Reveal: At the end, Kanaan talks with the Mayor and reveals that their plan has worked.

[Lauren Yaffe]

Lauren’s Beat Sheet Draft #1

[Andrew Kelm]

Andrew Kelm’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

Vision: I am going to do whatever it takes to be a great writer of TV and movies who is sought after by people I respect within the industry and has multiple successful TV series produced.

What I learned doing this assignment is… how to corral a whole bunch of different elements into a coherent story.

FATEMONGERS; a psychic with a blind spot for abusive men uses subtle manipulations to murder a sexual predator who seduces her to get to her sons.

ACT 1: DAPHNE RUNS OFF WITH ROY

Opening: Daphne doing a card reading in her kitchen above her mother’s hair salon. Her client is an unseen man — we see Daphne lay out the cards from his point of view. Her reading includes freely dipping into her own history and she tells him about her abusive relationships and how she never wants another man in her life; she wants independent success and to be taken seriously as a therapist. At the end of his reading he slips out the back way so as not to be seen.

– Daphne comes down into her mother’s hair salon after the reading. Her BFF Terry is a gay stylist working on a client. He chats up Daphne’s skills as a reader. Daphne protests that she is not a card reader and tries to describe waht she does as a therapist. Boys make nosie upstairs and mother complains.

Inciting Incident: Roy steps into the salon to avoid someone pursuing him.

– Roy in the shop, mother is on him right away — if he is not there for a reason, he needs to leave; he spots Daphne and a sign advertising Daphne’s readings. He says he wants a reading. Mother wants to throw him out, but Daphne takes him upstairs.

– Daphne reads him like a book and sparks fly between them.

– Daphne’s boys interrupt, and Roy takes an interest in them

– Gilbert pokes his head in at the end of the reading with his clerical collar on. Daphne is angry at being interrupted; their first meeting is colored by the perceived insult.

– Roy comes back for another reading; he has followed her advice and gotten a job as a salesman. He wants to take her out but she refuses.

– Blowup between Daphne and her mother over the boys making noise

– Roy spends the night

– Mother finds out and starts a row.

Turning Point: Daphne and Roy pack up the kids and leave.

ACT 2: LIFE AT THE MANSE

– Gilbert pays Roy a morning visit and discovers Daphne and the kids moved into the caretaker’s apartment with him. Daphne pleads her case that they will be an asset — she can do some housekeeping work at the manse, and the boys can help Roy with yard work.

– Gilbert discovers Daphne with Terry, her BFF from the hair salon. He has come for a card reading. Gilbert tells her that while she is living in a Christian establishment, she can’t be performing witchcraft.

– While cleaning the manse, Daphne finds incriminating evidence suggesting that Gilbert is sexually abusing boys.

– Through the kitchen window, Daphne spies Gilbert chatting up Carl as he does yard work.

– Daphne asks Roy about her suspicions of Gilbert. Roy confesses that together, hea and Gilbert would pick up young hitchhikers and have sex with them, but swears up and down that he would never do anything with her boys and all that is in the past.

– Roy confronts Gilbert over flirting with Carl, and Gilbert tells him he is going to have to move out.

Midpoint Turning Point: Daphne figures out how to get a downpayment together and a mortgage. They buy a house and move out.

– They take out insurance on Roy’s life.

ACT 3: SUBURBAN SUCCESS

– set up in her new home, Daphne gives a reading to her client from scene 1. We find out more about him. It turns out he is a politician, and is careful about being seen coming and going because it wouldn’t look good for him to be seeing a fortune teller.

– Daphne buys a bunch of psychology books and studies

– Roy is living the life of a successful salesman — lots of cash flow, drinks after work.

– Daphne is filling her free time with trips to the beach with Terry and some of his gay friends.

– Roy starts neglecting his job and spending nights away from home; Daphne finds cocaine in his jacket pocket.

– Daphne finds out from Terry that he has seen Roy at a gay club.

Turning Point: Daphne confronts Roy and he confesses to having a new gay lover. She warns him she will kill him if he ever puts a hand on one of her sons.

ACT 4: DOUBLE INDEMNITY

– Daphne meets Steve at the beach with Terry, and they have a deep dark psychic connection. Terry warns her that Steve is bad news.

– Carl approaches Roy in his bedroom, flirtatious, saying he thinks there is something wrong with his penis and would Roy take a look? Roy is resolute in his promise not to involve the boys and doesn’t know what to do. They are seen by Daphne’s other son Abe.

– Abe tells Daphne what he has observed.

– Daphne spends a long sleepless night in her favorite chair meditating

– at the beach, she see Steve and this time agrees to go home with him,

– In Steve’s apartment, they have rough sex with Daphne egging him on deeper and deeper into the dark recesses of his psyche till eventually he has her tied to a chair naked with a gun to her head.

– Roy sense’s that soemthing is wrong and gets Daphne to confess just before Trent arrives for a reading. He is just in time to hear Daphne begging Roy not to go to Steve’s, it is dangerous, as he storms out the door and drives off in his car.

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Roy confronts Steve; Roy gets killed and boyfriend is arrested.

– Trent has to be involved in protecting Daphne because he is a witness to her begging Roy not to go.

Resolution: Terry brings over a casserole, and in conversation, he twigs to the fact that Daphne now has everything she said she wanted in scene 1.

[Erik Wooten]

Erik’s Beat Sheet–Draft 1

My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.

What I learned doing this assignment… Adding in the deeper layers was very helpful and I can see that doing this will have a great effect on the development of the outline later. This initial stage of the outline was a good amount of work (doesn’t help that I have two protagonists) but it made me feel confident about the overall structure and that each of the three character journeys are represented well.

Act 1: The two orphans Penny and Mara escape their orphanage during a fire and are compelled down the city street to a vast shopping mall.

Protagonist Journey 1 (Penny) / INCITING INCIDENT:

Penny obliviously starts a fire in the orphanage kitchen.

Penny journey 2: Penny escapes out of the building, finds Mara on the street and is compelled down the city street (with Mara) by some threatening man or situation toward a vast shopping mall. They enter the mall.

Deeper layer: Serendipity having presented itself, Penny sees the mall as her chance to break free from the orphanage.

Mara journey 1: Mara flees down the city street with Penny–and enters the mall.

ACT 1 TURNING POINT:

Penny and Mara enter the huge shopping mall, which is its own self-contained world….

Act 2: Penny and Mara must get oriented to their new, vast environment, figure out how to navigate and how to find the necessities for their survival, while avoiding being found out.

Mara journey 2: She is afraid and comes to trust Penny.

Deeper layer: She understands that Penny is not afraid the way she is and deep down is thankful that Penny is ‘taking charge’.

Sarah journey 1: She notices the two orphans by themselves, then attempts to meet them.

Sarah journey 2: Meets with her parents, who indicate that they will not yield on their condition that Sarah has to have two kids in order to receive her trust fund.

Sarah journey 3: Finally meets Penny and Mara. Covertly questions them.

Sarah journey 4: Withholds from her fiancé–who of late is mildly pressuring her about having children–the details of her meeting with her parents.

Deeper layer: She is not really sure what she wants—she fears that the issue of the trust fund is distorting her feelings on a family of her own.

Sarah journey 5: Meets Penny and Mara again and spends some time with them around the mall. Realizes that they are on their own.

Penny journey 3: The idea of settling in and surviving eventually sinks in–and for Penny, there is no turning back. In Sarah, she sees the ideal parental candidate–but forces herself and Mara to stay away from her.

Deeper layer: Penny doesn’t trust adults and convinces herself that Sarah is a threat to her freedom.

Penny journey 4: She does her best to come up with a plan, which amounts to: get what they need day by day—no real plan at all.

Deeper layer: She is avoiding for as long as she possibly can admitting to herself that they cannot live like this forever.

Sarah journey 6: Leaves the mall, having gotten a new job.

Mara journey 3: She sees that they cannot keep up their hand-to-mouth existence forever and defies Penny, putting all her hopes in Sarah and physically separating from Penny (just long enough to reach Sarah).

MIDPOINT (Act 2 Turning Point):

Penny and Mara get separated and lose each other.

Act 3: For a while, Penny and Mara are living separate lives…. Until they re-unite and make a pact that they will always be together.

Sarah journey 7: Leaves fiancé over their disagreement on starting a family (or maybe he leaves her).

Deeper layer: Her feelings for Penny and Mara cause her to want to finally start a family of her own—but she doesn’t want kids of her own—she wants to adopt Penny and Mara.

Mara journey 4: Realizing that she has lost Penny, she takes a long journey through the mall, finds an exit, and finds herself out on the city street.

Mara journey 5: She decides to not go back to the orphanage and goes back into the mall. Long journey to far-flung areas, surviving, searching for Penny.

Penny journey 5: Penny goes to the luxury apartments area, seeking out Amanda like a stray cat. Gets taken in by Amanda.

Sarah journey 8: She goes back to the mall to try to find the girls, doesn’t find them, then goes to the orphanage and reports that she knows of two girls who are on their own in the mall.

Mara journey 6: Mara explores an unexpected underground/subterranean-like area in the mall, which becomes her temporary home in the mall for a little while. She meets [someone / some creature?].—and finds her confidence.

Penny journey 6: Penny leaves Amanda’s place, resolved to find Mara.

ACT 3 TURNING POINT:

Penny and Mara are caught and sent back to the orphanage.

Act 4: Penny and Mara are back in the orphanage and are separated by headmistress Daphne. In limbo now.

Mara journey 7: Mara bonds with another orphan Jess.

Penny journey 7: Penny learns about Mara’s new friendship and becomes sad.

Deeper layer: Now that Mara is separated from her in the orphanage, Penny’s worst fear seems to be realized, which is that she will never have parents. Now she doesn’t even have Mara.

Mara journey 8: Mara meets a family in the orphanage who expresses a desire to potentially adopt her.

Deeper layer: Mara has learned self-confidence, self-esteem, and a sense of independence and now is not overly dependent on getting adopted.

Deeper layer: Daphne has been overly discriminating against parents who express an interest in a girl like Penny and as a result blocking Penny’s chances of being adopted. It is because deep down she has an affection for Penny and does not want to let go of her.

Sarah journey 9: Back together with her fiancé, Sarah seeks adoption of Penny and Mara.

Mara journey 9: Mara accepts the idea that she will be adopted by this family. Has second thoughts when she gets to see Penny again by accident. She remembers her pact with Penny….

Penny journey 8: Finds Sarah in the orphanage at the last minute. Tells her to not let Mara get adopted!

CLIMAX:

Showdown in the orphanage—will
Mara be adopted before Sarah and Fiancé can get approved to adopt both
of the girls? And will Daphne be truthful to Sarah as to whether both Penny and
Mara are in fact “available” to be adopted?

[Jeff Chase]

Jeffrey Alan Chase’s Beat Sheet Part 1

My vision: I am an “A” list writer who receives praise for high concept ideas, great execution, a string of successful movies and is always ready to share his knowledge and do what he can to help another writer on the way up.

What I learned from doing this assignment is:

Title: Shards
High Concept Logline: A woman with no childhood memory is involved in a cat and mouse game with a cunning hypnotist not knowing the man is responsible for both her amnesia and the death of her treasure hunter father.

Character Guide:
S = Sarah
YS = young Sarah
M = March
B = Bear
N = Ben
J = Johnny
F = Frank
SH = Shaman
T = Tomas
E = Eddie

ACT 1: SARAH’S PRESENT WORLD
Opening: Flashback of a terrified, 6-year-old little girl thrown off a desert cliff at night by a bearded, bear of a man. A small pot shard hangs on the little girl’s necklace.

Set up: Show the world of twenty-six-year-old amnesia victim and pottery restoration expert, SARAH COLE. Does good work during the day, drinks at night to dull pain of incomplete childhood memories.

Inciting Incident:
S 1: Sarah receives an ancient Anasazi Indian pot to repair. The zig zag pattern on the pot triggers powerful, incapacitating emotions. She drops the pot, and it shatters.

Reveal: Older Sarah is the little girl who was thrown off the cliff in the opening.

Deeper Layer: Sarah has a big, jagged scar on one temple. The small shard that Sarah wears on her necklace has the same zig zag pattern as the pattern that is on the pot.

S: researches the pot’s owner, JAMES MARCH, learns he is a self-help author and hypnotist and admits that she broke his pot. She tells March she can fix it in a week. Asks where it came from.
M: forgives Sarah about the pot. Says it was given to him by an old friend who passed away. It means a lot to him, supposedly is from someplace on the Navajo reservation. Offers to meet her for dinner in a week and pick it up.

S: works on the pot/memories haunt her day and night, drinks to forget, shows up late at work, is told March requested her services/read story in magazine, she “needs time” to fix his pot, is told when she finishes pot to take as much time as she needs to get herself sober. She buys more booze.

J: Introduce Johnny in his police car, he sees the Shaman on a mesa, drives to Navajo Police station.

J and F: told by his father (chief of police) he must cut the hours for the newest cop – Johnny. Johnny complains, mentions he solved a cold case last week, and wants to work on the “Sarah Cole” case from twenty years ago. The only case his father never solved. Says some of the facts don’t add up, like who dropped the girl off at the Navajo hospital? Conflict. Frank tells Johnny it’s old news. Insubordination. Johnny gets laid off. Who’s gonna pay my car payment? Go talk to your grandfather.

J: gets dropped off by another cop, meets with Shaman who wonders where his new truck is and presses Johnny to become next Shaman. Johnny refuses the call; says he’s going to solve an old cold case and his father will have to let him back on the force. He asks to borrow the Shaman’s rusty, old pickup to use.

S and M: meet for dinner at his hotel with new pot. March reveals that he is a self-help author and hypnotist. She knows. They talk, he suspects something is bothering her, offers to walk her home.
T: hired by March, wears ski mask, attempts to mug March and Sarah. Gets his jaw broken by March.

S and M: March consoles Sarah at her place, offers her a free hypnosis session to help her and leaves.
S: Sarah gets drunk to dull the pieces of childhood memories that flood back to torture her.

S and M: Sarah gets free hypnosis session. Afterward, Sarah is happy to “remember” that her father was an archeologist and something else about a treasure cave.

Deeper layer: March has actually “suggested” what Sarah has remembered. He is setting her up.

S: Encouraged and feeling comfortable with March, Sarah hesitantly wonders if March could help her remember more details about her nightmares and the treasure cave in her childhood.
M: says he is too busy to take her on as a new patient.

Turning Point:
PJ 6: Sarah hysterically begs and pleads and convinces him to treat her. March will take her on as a client but only if she agrees to do whatever he says is necessary for her to remember.

ACT 2: SARAH’S NEW PLAN
Johnny takes a job at the riding stables, gets ribbed for it by stable hands, there was an opening because one of the workers got injured. Johnny tells the guys he knows they keep drugs, this shuts them up. Asks stable manager, Eddie, about old Sarah Cole case. Eddie lets slip it had something to do with grave robbers and a rumor of some old treasure cave. Eddie realizes he’s said too much.

M: uses hypnosis to regress Sarah to meet YOUNG SARAH, her 6-year-old self to learn about her childhood and the whatever the trauma was that she experienced. We meet Ben and Bear during the session. Young Sarah kicks a skull in the desert.
YS: proves to be tough to handle, both for March and for Sarah.
S and YS: It’s a scary session for young Sarah, March and older Sarah. Older Sarah wants to bail but…
M: “suggests” that Sarah must allow him to control both the hypnosis and questions of her young self.
S: agrees to let March steer the boat.

M: When Sarah comes out the next session, March informs her that she revealed to under hypnosis that her father was a cruel man, a grave robber who dug up Indian graves and sold his booty to collectors. Sarah is devastated, again wants to stop the sessions. March somehow convinces her to continue, tells her things will get better. Ha!

SARAH TURNING POINT 2/MIDPOINT: Sarah wakes from a session and “remembers” she disobeyed her father and somehow it led to his death. She feels it can’t be true. But March gives her his interpretation of the event, and which heightens Sarah’s guilt and the feeling that she is responsible for her father’s death. Sarah’s younger self seems to also confirm this. Sarah is devastated.

MARCH TURNING POINT 3/MIDPOINT: March’s psychopathy and greed causes him to become careless and move too fast. He inadvertently mixes his memories in with Sarah’s memories during a hypnosis session. But he covers his mistakes well – or does he? He leaves a clue for Sarah.

JOHNNY TURNING POINT 2/MIDPOINT: Armed with info that he knows the treasure cave exists, he queries his grandfather, the Shaman on the story about Sarah Cole. He’s told to go talk to his father. Johnny is angry and says he has nothing to say to his father.

Deeper layer: March now has full control over her memories and emotions.

ACT 3: SARAH RETHINKS EVERYTHING
She confides to a bartender, wonders if March could be wrong about her father. She even wonders if March is somehow manipulating her memories and her interaction with young Sarah although she can’t imagine why he would do so. He seems like such a good guy.

At home, hung over the toilet, Sarah remembers her father’s words from a previous session when he said, “Listen to everyone but trust only in yourself.”

March must deal with Tomas, Sarah’s “mugger” who wants more money to keep quiet about March using Sarah for his “next book”. March gives him $5,000 cash. March seems worried.

Next time under hypnosis, Sarah asks questions of young Sarah as March asks his questions. She uses her younger self to try and get into March’s head, learn what he knows and if in fact is manipulating her.
Does March make several more mistakes using his memories instead of Sarah’s?

Disillusioned and unsure what to do with the rest of his life, Johnny reluctantly spends time with his grandfather and refreshes his native and shamanistic lore. He asks about a treasure cave and learns a spiritual tragedy occurred there.

Johnny can’t stop the cop in him and again visit his cop father, asks again about the girl who got dropped off at the hospital 20 years ago and is told to leave the story alone and reminded he’s been suspended. He’s angry, “I want to solve the case and can’t because I’ll be shoveling shit for the next six months!”

“Leave the Cole case alone or that’s what you’ll be doing the rest of your life!”

Before their next session, Sarah questions March about his true motives. March comes clean with her; admits he wants to write his next book about her. She’s pissed off at being used and walks out.

March runs after her and makes her realize that the only way for her to find the peace she needs is for them to revisit “the scene of the crime”, a remote area on the Navajo reservation. Sarah refuses. He uses a post-hypnotic suggestion to make her remember the song she sung as a child with her father.

SARAH TURNING POINT 3: Sarah reluctantly agrees. She’s confused, doesn’t know what to believe but something has changed in her and she is now dead set on learning the truth. WE LEARN that the lyrics March spoke are different than the ones she remembers. Can she trust herself?

JOHNNY TURNING POINT 3: At the stable he meets injured Tomas, who came into money and is picking up his stuff. Always the cop, Johnny asks where he got the money from and pulls a coke bag from the man’s shirt pocket. Tomas begs Johnny not to turn him in, tells Johnny that a guy paid him to make him look good. A guy named March and some woman named Cole are supposed to go out on a weekend ride to look for something. Sarah Cole?

MARCH TURNING POINT 3: March calls Tomas to make final arrangements. Tomas tells him another guide will be taking him into the desert, Johnny. March is livid. Tomas tells him it’s his own fault, “shouldn’t have broken my jaw, asshole!”

ACT 4 CLIMAX: SARAH PUTS THE PIECES TOGETHER

Johnny leads Sarah and March on a search for the cave. He suspects March is not who he claims and tells Sarah about it. Sarah doesn’t believe him and gets angry. March orders Johnny to stay away from Sarah. Johnny gets bitten by a rattlesnake that found its way into his bedroll and must use a native remedy to cure himself. Johnny is weak but survives with his reawakened shamanistic knowledge.

Sarah and March rediscover the desert cave where her father died. Sarah realizes March has been using her all along – and that he murdered her father.

March succeeds in re-discovering the cave with Sarah. He confesses everything, shoots Johnny and attempts to kill Sarah.

SARAH’S RESOLUTION: Sarah and March fight. Sarah wins. Sarah has put the pieces of herself back together and can allow herself to be loved and enjoy life as a complete person.

JOHNNY’S RESOLUTION: He protects Sarah in the cave and gets shot by March. He survives, realizes his future is as a cop AND as the shaman. We think Johnny and Sarah might hook up in the future but we’re not sure.

MARCH’S RESOLUTION: March fights with Sarah, eventually falls to his death from the same cliff he threw her off twenty years before.

[Lori Lance]

Lori Lance’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

Vision: I want to be a professional screenwriter recognized by the industry as the go-to for family-friendly scripts and have multiple successful movies produced.

What I learned: layering my characters’ journeys through the plot and purposely finding a deeper layer is adding so much to my story that could have been surface only.

Genre: Family Comedy

Title: New Mom or AI Mom

Act 1: Alex causes trouble at the lab where she was created. Meanwhile, across town, it’s a hectic family morning for the Logans with news that Claire is returning to work after years of being a stay-at-home mom. The rest of the family doesn’t share her enthusiasm.

PJ 1: Brad stresses about his wife returning to work but doesn’t want to seem selfish.

Triangle J 1: Claire is excited yet apprehensive about this new chapter in her life and wonders how it will affect the family.

AJ 1: After Alex’s creator gets fired, Alex decides she will take her life into her own hands and places herself in a category of AI housemaids, and she assigns herself a family.

Inciting Incident: Claire must leave for training for two weeks, meaning Brad and the kids will be on their own. The kids beg Brad to hire an AI, and as “luck” would have it, they get approved for a free two-week trial.

Deeper Layer: Claire gives her blessing and secretly hopes the AI will get the house and family in order. The AI longs to become part of a family. Alex has real emotions but doesn’t know how to control them.

Turning Point 1: Alex shows up at the Logan home and charms the family.

PJ 2: Brad is happy to see his kids getting along well with the AI. He loves the excitement the AI adds to their lives and feels guilty for being attracted to her.

AJ 2: Alex is a “fish out of water,” and she sees everything as new and exciting.

Act 2: Unbeknownst to the family, Alex wants to take the mom’s place permanently.

PJ 3: Brad is confused as his attraction for Alex escalates.

AJ 3: Alex discovers her power over men and plans to use it to her advantage.

Triangle J 2: Claire misses her family, and her new job quickly disappoints her.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: The AI plans to eliminate Claire, thinking she can take her place as wife and mother. The family discovers the AI’s evil plan.

Deeper Layer: The danger of AI.

Act 3: The family and house are being destroyed.

PJ 4: Brad misses his wife.

AJ 4: Alex is mad at the family and is now out for revenge.

Triangle J 3: Claire is worried when she can’t get ahold of anyone in the family. Claire is sent on a wild goose chase thanks to the AI.

Turning Point 3: The AI is mad at the family and is now out for revenge. Brad is angry that he was fooled by the AI and wants to protect his family. The family tries to get rid of the AI, which proves hard to do.

PJ 5: The family must find a new way to work together.

Triangle J 4: Claire desperately tries to get back home as she fears something awful has happened.

Deeper Layer: Family is worth fighting for.

Act 4 Climax: Brad leads his kids, and it’s one last fight to the “death” to get rid of the AI. Claire returns home to fight alongside her family against the AI.

AJ 5: Alex leaves the Logan family and finds the engineer that created her hoping to start a family with him.

Resolution: The family thinks the AI has been destroyed, and they work together to find a new normal that works for the whole family. Claire decides she wants to work from home, and her family is very supportive.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Lori Lance.

[Terrie Shaft]

Terrie’s Beat Sheet 1

I write screenplays that get turned into crowd pleasing successful films using a process that allows me to enjoy my equestrian hobby.

What I learned from this assignment is to plug through. This was tough because it seemed like I had these elements in the outline from the last lesson. Seems like I missed something.

ACT 1

Opening: James/Jason with US Marshall. Refusing to testify. Accuses all the US Marshall’s of being involved in some conspiracy theory.

Comedy dialog here to show James/Jason’s paranoia through this exchange.

Deeper Layer: one of the accusations about conspiracy theory is true.

Paige on a lunch date. Her data is cop groupie, into guns. She profiles him, to his face, in as insulting a manner a possible.

James/Jason escorted into a court house, shots are fired. He’s whisked away to safety.

Paige gets a call at lunch. She’s called into work. Her date makes a scene.

INCITING INCIDENT: James refuses to testify unless Paige is his protection detail.

Paige meets James, but he’s really Jason. She tries to refuse the assignment: she’s behavioral not WITSEC. She’s told to do it to be considered for a promotion.

As Paige resists the assignment, James is reminded he’ll lose witness protection and his new fake identify if he won’t testify. Back and forth. The case is against domestic terrorists. James/Jason spouts conspiracy theories every chance he gets. Her boss tells Paige to use her psych background to fix his crazy.

Turning point 1: Paige agrees and James stays on the witness list.

PJ: Paige gives in, professional.

AJ: James/Jason agrees to testify, for now

ACT 2

New Plan: Paige will be in charge of James/Jason’s protection.

Plan in action: Normal protection assignment. Move James/Jason frequently.

PJ: Paige is by the book

AJ: James/Jason thinks he knows best.

Deeper Layer: they bicker constantly like people with a past. Use a sketch comedy format and hint at their past.

James comes onto Paige. She slugs him – make it funny – raise the stakes physically between them.

Midpoint Turning Point: Their cover gets blown, an attempt on both of them. They go on the run.

ACT 3

Rethink everything: Paige has to admit his paranoia is reasonable because almost no one knew where they were.

Deeper layer: someone on the inside is setting them up.

New Plan: just her and James/Jason. Find a place to be safe, cut off from the Marshall service. Leave the current district, go to the district where she first started.

Reveal: Paige & James were a couple. His conspiracy theory/paranoia almost got her fired from a police job – that’s when she left him and why she hates him now.

Twist: They sleep together, rekindling their relationship. No one at US Marshall can know about them.

Reveal: James wants to be with Paige. Paige isn’t over him nearly ruining her career.

Paige sets information traps to identify who is blowing their cover.

Series of challenges getting to the ‘safe’ location –make these funny. They don’t have a smart phone so they get lost. She won’t stop for directions. Need more.

ACT 4:

The information traps Paige set ups come to fruition.

PJ: Some of James weird theories are true.

AJ: Paige doesn’t want anything bad to happen to James

Deeper Layer: Paige & James resolve their relationship issues.

I need to figure out who it is, what’s the conspiracy, who is setting them up and it’s consistent with one of his conspiracy theories. This person serves the Villian role in the Thriller genre.

Face off: Paige sets up the villain. James tries to escape. He trusts Paige, but not the people she works for.

Paige manages to get him to testify. From the information traps, she’s outed someone in the government whose been helping the domestic terrorists.

Ends: With the traitor in jail so James/Jason gives up witness protection to be with Paige.

Some funny epilogue. Him keeping up with his weird behaviors to ensure they are safe – circling the block I’m not sure. Needs to include Paige.

[Tracy Lawson]

Tracy’s Beat Sheet Draft 1

I will do whatever it takes to become a successful author and screenwriter with multiple successful screenplays produced.

What I learned: It is better to organize your beat sheet in several passes, and in the first draft there will likely be some rough transitions that can be fixed later.

ACT
1:
Anna is home in Virginia with the
family; her husband Benjamin is away at the war. Anna decides to take
supplies to him at Valley Forge.

Anna PJ1: Anna misses Benjamin.

Benjamin PJ1: (Flashback) Benjamin decided to enlist without consulting Anna and convinces her to take the children to live at her uncle’s house while Benjamin is away, even though she is estranged from her family.

Inciting
Incident:
Benjamin’s older brother Thomas, who deserts from the army, comes to tell Anna
their other brother, Baylis, is dead of smallpox. He brought the body home
and tells her of the privations there. Everyone is starving and many have
no warm clothes.

Anna
PJ2:
Anna faces the reality of losing family not just in battle, but to
disease.

William AJ1: William disparages the army for losing so many battles, baiting Thomas. Thomas replies that the Continentals still have plenty of fight left in them.

Deeper Layer: William is part of a smuggling ring that takes supplies meant for the army and uses them to outfit and arm British POWs.

Anna PJ3: Anna, worried about the soldiers, begins to collect clothing and blankets to send.

William AJ2: William tells Anna her efforts are no use. The supplies will be stolen or lost and at any rate won’t be enough to help. She should not waste her time.

Turning
Point 1:
Anna receives a letter from Benjamin. Her brothers are ill. He does not
have a coat. She cannot trust that supplies she sends will reach them in
time—if at all. Unless she brings them herself.

Anna
PJ4:
Anna decides to take the supplies to Valley Forge herself.

William
AJ3:
William supports her decision, though Anna’s mother begs her not to go. He
offers to bankroll the trip if she will deliver a payment to his business
associate on the way.

Deeper
Layer:
To save her husband, Anna leaves her children with her relatives and puts
herself in peril. She may not survive the journey.

Genre
Convention:
Interpersonal high stakes: Anna must save her husband’s life so her
children won’t be at the mercy of the orphan’s court. It is better that
she sacrifice herself.

Major
Reveal:
If her husband and brothers die, her uncle will get control of Anna and
her children, and will take the children from her and put them in
indentures or have them raised by other people who can afford it.

Genre
Convention:
Influences Surface Story Anna was orphaned as a child when her father
died, and the same uncle removed her and two of her brothers from the home
and put them in apprenticeships and indentures, making it impossible for
Anna’s mother to keep the family farm.

Act
2:
Anna rides out alone with the supplies, full of confidence. She is presumed
to be a prostitute or a spy by people she meets, because she is a woman
traveling alone.

Anna
PJ5:
When she delivers her uncle’s payment to his business associate, she
overhears the payment is to finance a smuggling operation to arm British
POWs.

William
AJ4:
William, as part of the smuggling operation, has done a dishonorable thing
to preserve his personal wealth. He has de facto put his four nephews and
his niece in greater danger.

Anna
PJ6:
Anna tries to catch and expose the smugglers, but while in pursuit, she
falls in the Potomac at the ferry crossing and nearly drowns.

Anna
PJ7:
Highwaymen catch her alone on the road. Before they harm her, she is
rescued by Hessian soldiers and an unassuming baker who is a spy for the
Continentals. He accompanies her on the road and teaches her survival
skills.

Deeper
Layer:
She is constantly accused of doing something dishonest while she’s traveling.
She is trying to undo the wrong done by her uncle, who was the dishonest
one.

Turning
Point 2 / Midpoint: When she stops
for the night at York, her first night on her own again, a congressman
asks her to carry a secret message to Gen. Washington warning him of a
conspiracy.

Deeper
Layer:
When she accepts the message and the mission, she becomes a spy

Genre
Convention:
Does Anna have the wherewithal to thwart the conspiracy against General
Washington? The pressure is on her to keep the secret.

Act
3:
Anna leaves with the message at dawn the next day.

Henchman
AJ1:
He searches other riders who could be carrying the message, and zeros in
on Anna. Confronts her, intimidating, and demands the message back.

Anna
PJ8:
Anna denies she has the message and refuses to let him search her. She
spurs her horse and evades the Henchman.

Anna PJ9: Anna relies on her recent experience and the skills taught her by the baker/spy. She hides; she bribes a ferryman to give her a head start and leave him on the shore.

Henchman AJ2: Despite Anna’s efforts, she and the Henchman end up at the same tavern that evening.

Layering: Changes Reality: Anna travels disguised as a boy. She is now a courier, a saboteur, and adventurer.

Anna PJ10: She changed into her husband’s clothes, and in the dim light, he does not recognize her. She drugs his food and removes one of his horse’s shoes to slow him down and make her escape.

Turning
Point 3:
As she nears Valley Forge, worrying about both her missions, she passes a
field hospital and stops to make sure her brothers aren’t there. She stays
too long, and the Henchman catches up. She eludes him again, and barely
beats him to the picket line at Valley Forge.

Act
4 Climax:
When she demands to see General Washington, the soldiers on guard laugh at
her. When she persists, they accuse her of being a spy. The Henchman shows
himself and exchanges gunfire with the soldiers, but he escapes. They take
Anna into custody, unsure if she’s part of some larger plot.

The soldiers are walking her to headquarters under armed escort when they pass Benjamin on the path. She recognizes him, and together, they convince the soldiers she is telling the truth. They meet with Gen. Washington together. He accepts the message but does not read it. Has she failed?

Resolution: She has a long-awaited reunion with
Benjamin and her brothers, who are still sick but recovering. Gen.
Hamilton tells her the message was read and was useful. She is offered an
escort home, with Benjamin as part of the detail.

On the way, they meet the congressman again, and he fills in more details about the corruption in Congress. She witnesses Lafayette’s great display of loyalty to Washington.

[Sandra Nelles]

Sandra’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

Vision: I am doing what I love to do as a writer with several successful produced movies.

What I learned doing this assignment is how easy it is to put the beats of the story together and improve the flow. This was a great lesson!!!

PJ = Protagonist Journey (Sloane)

AJ = Antagonist Journey (Mr. Big)

Genre: Drama

ACT 1: Sloane relaxes at home watching tv, when there’s a knock on the door.

Surface Layer: Sloane is a young, honest and hard-working sea captain.

Mr. Big AJ1: Mr. Big makes a profit by exchanging money for smugglers.

INCITING INCIDENT: Sloane discovers his ship crew is smuggling oil.

Sloane PJ 1: Sloane threatens to report the smuggling to the authorities.

Mr. Big AJ 2: A new sea captain threatens Mr. Big’s smuggling operation.

Mr. Big AJ 3: Mr. Big sends someone to rough up Sloane and serve as a warning.

TURNING POINT 1: Sloane is badly beaten.

Deeper Layer: Sloane faces a dilemma of reporting smuggling or joining in on the smuggling. Either way, he risks being killed.

ACT 2: Sloane tries to ignore the smuggling.

Sloane PJ 2: Sloane transfers to another ship where the crew is even more corrupt.

Mr. Big AJ 4: Mr. Big meets Sloane and lures him into the smuggling world.

Influences Surface Story: Sloane’s family is growing and he needs the money to support his wife and children.

Sloane PJ 3: Sloane accepts a job inspecting ships.

Major Reveal: As an inspector, Sloane fakes documents, and exchanges money for a fee.

Changes Reality: We think Sloane is doing his job honestly until we see him forging visas for ship captains.

Mr. Big AJ 5: Mr. Big tips off the military police to Sloane’s location.

TURNING POINT 2/MIDPOINT: Military police begin raids on Sloane’s house.

Hints: Sloane treats the police officers like friends.

Sloane PJ 4: Sloane hides large amounts of cash in his closet.

Sloane PJ 5: Sloane pays off the police with a duffle bag full of cash.

ACT 3: Sloane leaves the ship and smuggling business.

Sloane PJ 6: Sloane tries several legitimate jobs that all fail.

Mr. Big AJ 6: Mr. Big is losing money without Sloane.

TURNING POINT 3: Mr. Big convinces Sloane to come back and work together again.

Mr. Big AJ 7: Mr. Big convinces Sloane to smuggle whiskey.

Sloane PJ 7: One container of whiskey is confiscated by the police and the other disappears.

ACT 4 CLIMAX: Sloane gives up the life of crime.

Sloane PJ 8: Sloane enters an alcohol and drug treatment program.

Mr. Big AJ 8: Mr. Big sinks the ship to collect the insurance money.

RESOLUTION: Sloane is now clean and sober.

Sloane PJ 9: Sloane falls in love, and becomes a prison counselor helping inmates.

Mr. Big AJ 9: Mr. Big disappears.

[Peter Symons]

Peter’s Beat Sheet draft 1

WIL – It’s ok not to have the answers. Everything is going to change.

MY VISION: I am a prolific screenwriter who makes horror movies!

MEAT WAGON

High Concept: When reformed gangster takes a night job driving a hearse–he discovers the car is haunted, and the body is the back is his.

GENRE: Horror

ACT 1: The temptation of El Escorpión

Carlos PJ 1: Texas/Mexico border. A racist state trooper pulls Carlos’ hearse over. Carlos is hassled because of his criminal record. He gets off but is secretly smuggling illegals in a coffin.

Carlos PJ 2: Carlos gives his confession to Father Diego about trying to change his nature. He responds by saying that Christ is the only one who can change our sinful nature.

Jude AJ 1: Carlos’ old gang watches him. Jude offers to let him back in the gang despite his betrayal. He offers drugs and money.

Deeper Layer: Jude wants to break Carlos. He’s jealous that he has a new family.

Jude AJ 2: Jude says he’s willing to forgive Carlos for leaving the thug life.

INCITING INCIDENT: Carlos refuses to rejoin the gang. Dani tells him she’s pregnant!

Carlos PJ 3: Carlos doesn’t tell Dani about seeing his old gang. She always worries that he will backslide. His job doesn’t pay enough. She’s pregnant again!

Deeper Layer: Carlos is afraid that deep down he’ll fail as a husband and father. Just like his father before him.

Carlos PJ 4: Behind on bills, Carlos accepts a short-term loan from his former gang.

Jude AJ 3: Jude knows Carlos can’t pay back the loan on time. So, he applies pressure until the tension reaches a breaking point. Carlos takes a beating.

TURNING POINT 1: Dani is killed in a drive by shooting.

ACT 2: The Death of El Escorpión

Carlos PJ 5: Carlos, consumed by grief, turns to the Saint of Death (Santa Muerte) to protect him for what he must do next. He burns down his old gang’s hang out and kills several members with a poisoned machete.

Jude AJ 4: Jude escapes the carnage. He shoots Carlos, wounding him. Cops arrive. Carlos makes his escape.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Carlos doesn’t know he’s dying.

Carlos PJ 6: Carlos returns to the funeral home and the old priest hides him. He watches the old priest take delivery of bodies from the coroner’s office.

Jude AJ 5.: Jude and what’s left of the gang shows up looking for Carlos. They beat up the old priest looking for information. Carlos tries to interfere but passes out.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Carlos passes away but doesn’t know it. Father Diego performs a strange ritual on one of the bodies. He places a hobo coin in the mouth of the corpse’s lips shut.

Carlos PJ 6: Carlos highjacks the hearse and goes after Jude.

ACT III – The Resurrection of El Escorpión

Jude AJ 6: Jude makes tracks down the Texas highway.

It’s night of Day of the Dead and he’s headed for the Mexico line.

Carlos PJ 7: Carlos drives the vintage hearse. He notices that there’s a coffin in the back. He sees dead people. All are victims he killed. He thinks he’s hallucinating. Carlos hears other voices coming from the Meat Wagon.

Jude AJ 7: Jude’s cell phone rings. It’s Carlos. The cell phone reception is sketchy. He tells Jude that’s he’s coming for him.

ACT 4 – The Ascension of El Escorpión

Carlos PJ 8: Carlos closes the distance between the hearse and Jude’s rice rocket. The big V8 has no problem overtaking the import.

Jude AJ 8: Jude fires his gun at the hearse. When the Meat Wagon pulls beside Jude – there’s no driver! Jude freaks out…

The Meat Wagon runs Jude off the road. Jude’s car rolls and explodes.

The Meat Wagon comes to a screeching halt.

Deeper Layer: Carlos wakes up dead.

Carlos PJ 9: Carlos wakes up in the coffin. He tries to scream, but his lips are sewn shut. He kicks his way out of the casket. On the highway he rips the sutures off his lips and vomits up embalming fluid and hobo coin placed there by the priest.

He opens his shirt and touches the autopsy scar on his chest!

Carlos PJ 10: Carlos returns to the funeral home. Father Diego is expecting him.

The walls of the autopsy room walls are lined with skinned tattoos removed from all the evil men the old priest prepared for the final ride in the Meat Wagon.

The old priest takes off his clerical collar and opens his shirt also revealing an autopsy scar!

Once he was like Carlos on the highway to Hell. Until someone intervened to God on his behalf and saved his soul from damnation. It was his own penance to drive the Meat Wagon. Not his time is over.

Carlos PJ 11: Carlos nods and takes his machete and beheads the priest. He places the old priest’s head on the hood ornament of the hearse.

Resolution: Carlos drives the Meat Wagon down a residential street after midnight on Halloween. In every window burns a black candle in hopes the hearse passes them by.

[Jack Purdie]

Jack’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

MY VISION: I will do whatever it takes to write a produced script that is recognized by the industry and leads to multiple successful movies.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS LESSON IS: I need to trust that I am creating a beat sheet, but still not clear how that differs from structure.

4-ACT STRUCTURE

Beginning: – Jay meets Lina on vacation at a café. Lina is attacked by a drunken customer and Jay saves the day.

Inciting incident: Jay and Lina go on a road trip, a fling for both that includes a near hook-up with another girl, stumbling drunk with Jay carrying Lina, and a quarrel. It appears to be over before it even began. Jay discovers that Lina is a lesbian and has tendencies toward alcoholism.

Turning Point 1: – Jay continues by himself, is struck by lightning during an electrical storm, and discovers in a NDE he and Lina are soulmates with multiple past lives together. Jay tells Lina his revelations. She calls him a fool and they part ways.

Act 2: Jay returns home to the US and is haunted by dreams of past lives with Lina and others. Lina is ejected from her parents’ house in CR. His wife announces she is leaving him for another woman. His son is shot and killed during a drug deal gone bad. She contacts Jay and he agrees to help her find her own place in the city.

Turning Point 2/Midpoint: Jay has multiple epiphanies about past lives, including with Cicilia (Cici), Lina’s “niece”, who was his mother in this life and who was born the day his mom died. Jay’s son is murdered days before he is set to return to CR. Lina reveals that Cici is actually her daughter, the result of a violent rape at the age of 17.

Act 3: Jay returns to CR in grief over the loss of his son and deeply in love with Lina. They start out in love/lust, then slowly deteriorate as the extreme opposites of their lives become apparent.

Turning Point 3: They reconcile again and go on another road trip to celebrate her birthday. They again are on a drunken roller-coaster and she rejects Jay’s sexual advances. He explodes, belittles her, and they are enemies again. They have a tearful farewell and Jay leaves once again, this time for good.

4th Act Climax: Jay apologizes to Lina and tells her how much he loves her. He brings up the soulmates relationship and although she is grateful for their time together, she doesn’t believe in reincarnation and will never have the same feelings for him as he does for her. Jay says he still feels the same for her and will spend the rest of this life – or as many lives as necessary – “Waiting on Friend”.

PROTAG JOURNEY (PJ) STRUCTURE

ACT 1: Jay meets on his first night of vacation in CR.

JAY PJ 1: A drunk attacks Lina and Jay saves the day.

LINA PJ 1: Lina invites herself to go on a road trip with Jay.

Deeper layer: Jay is recovering from a bad marriage breakup and problems with his son. Lina is a heavy drinker and is on the verge of getting kicked out of her parent’s house.

JAY PJ 2: Jay is not ready for a new relationship, but agrees to take Lina with him on his vacation. He lies to Lina and says he is not married.

LINA PJ 2: Lina gets drunk on their first date and sleeps with Jay. She spends most of the next day on the phone arguing with someone. The phone fight continues through Act 1. She tearfully apologizes to Jay for making a mess of his vacation and says he should go on without her, but he says no, he wants her with him .

INCITING INCIDENT: Jay and Lina go on a road trip, a fling for both that includes too much to drink, rough sex, a near hook-up with another girl (Kayling), and quarrels with make up sex. They part after a few days, exhausted and confused.

JAY PJ 3: Jay continues on his trip alone.

LINA PJ 4: Lina returns home and has a big fight with her parents who are fed up with her drinking and perpetual unemployment. It was her mom she was fighting with on the phone all this time.

TURNING POINT 1: Jay is struck by lightning during an electrical storm, and discovers in a NDE he and Lina are soulmates with multiple past lives together. Jay tells Lina his revelations, including that he is in love with her. She calls him a fool – there is no such thing as reincarnation, he said so himself! and they part ways. He agrees to pay for her to have a tattoo as a memory of their brief encounter.

Act 2: Jay returns home to the US and is haunted by dreams of past lives with Lina and others.

LINA PJ 4: Lina is ejected from her parents’ house in CR. She contacts Jay and he agrees to help her find her own place in the city.

JAY PJ 4: His wife announces she is leaving him for another woman. His son is shot and killed during a drug deal gone bad.

Deeper layer reveal: We learn that Jay is still married. We learn more about Jay’s history with family addiction and alcoholism – his parents, his 1^st wife, his children.

Turning Point 2/Midpoint: Jay has multiple epiphanies about past lives, including with Cicilia (Cici), Lina’s “niece”, who was Jay’s mother in this life and who was born the day his mom died. Jay’s son is murdered days before he is set to return to CR.

Act 3: Jay returns to CR in grief over the collapse of his marriage, loss of his son, and deeply in love with Lina. They start out in love/lust, then slowly deteriorate as the extreme opposites of their lives become apparent.

LINA PJ 5: Lina reveals that Cici is actually her daughter, the result of a violent rape at the age of 17.

JAY PJ 5: Jay reveals he is still married, and lets her know her wife has left him for another woman, a friend who he introduced to his wife.

LINA PJ 5.1: Lina goes to visit her old flame Marita. She comes home to Jay drunk very late and they have a big fight. Lina assures Jay that it’s over with Marita the next day, they are just friends now.

Turning Point 3: Jay and Lina reconcile again and go on another road trip to celebrate her birthday.

LINA PJ 6: They are again on a drunken roller-coaster and she rejects Jay’s sexual advances.

JAY PJ 6: He explodes, belittles her, and they are on the outs again.

Jay and Lina have a tearful farewell and Jay leaves once again.

LINA PJ 7: LINA hooks up with her old flame Marita.

4th Act Climax: One year later – Jay apologizes to Lina and tells her how much he loves her. He brings up the soulmates relationship, she admits to loving him too despite of all the trouble in their relationship, she still doesn’t believe in reincarnation. Jay says he still feels the same for her – even if she doesn’t believe in reincarnation – and will spend the rest of this life – or as many lives as necessary – “Waiting on Friend”.

Ending: They reconcile and all “soulmates” are together at Cici’s birthday party, including Jay, Lina, and Marita, who are now a threesome.

[Gisele FRAZEUR]

Gisele Frazeur’s Beat Sheet – – Draft 1

My vision: I am going to work diligently to become a brilliant, reliable screenwriter who is sought after, regularly produced, highly paid, and awarded. Artistic fulfillment and financial freedom will result from the achievement of this goal!

What I learned doing this assignment is: Unlike erecting a building – – structure can be created out of order – – puzzle pieces being shifted around to create the tightest structure for the screenplay.

Title: On the Scent

Genre: Thriller

Act 1: Threats against Perfumer Darin August seemingly result in her pregnant sister’s murder.

Darin PJ1: Darin arrives at the FiFi awards with her sister Livie. They fight their way through Leff-T’s protestors to enter the ceremonial hall.

Darin PJ2: At the reception preceding the awards Darin saves a stranger who is choking to death.

Darin PJ3: At the party following the awards ceremony Police inform Darin they suspect foul play was involved in the choking incident.

Darin PJ4: Darin and Livie exit awards. They are accosted by Leff-T’s protestors while getting to their car.

Deeper Layer: What is supposed to being a joyous evening for Darin has a cloud of doom hanging over it – – as she is placed in threatening situations at every turn. All signs point to Leff-T as a suspect.

Inciting Incident: Upon their return home – – the two are shot at.

Turning Point 1: Livie is pronounced dead at the hospital.

Darin PJ5: Darin is questioned by police then informed of her sister’s death.

Hank AJ1: Hank arrives at the hospital and is informed of his wife’s death.

Act 2: Darin decides to go after the prime suspect (Leff-T) herself.

Darin PJ5: Darin’s mother accuses Darin of being responsible for Livie’s death at Livie’s funeral.

Hank AJ2: Hank plies Darin (a recovering alcoholic) with alcohol to calm her nerves and ease her stress.

Hank AJ3: Hank Provides Darin with a gun for protection – -despite her protestations.

Darin PJ6: Darin shows up at Leff-T’s mansion drunk – – brandishing a gun.

Darin PJ7: Darin is put on leave by her boss for the bad press she is generating.

Deeper Layer: Hank having encouraged Darin’s drinking knowing she is an alcoholic is suspect. Additionally – – his forcing a gun on her for protection when she fears them since a childhood incident with one – – is also suspect.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Leff-T is cleared as a suspect.

Hank AJ4: Hank seduces Darin after plying her with alcohol.

Darin PJ8: Darin is disgusted with herself for having slept with her dead sister’s husband. Distraught, she pulls away from Hank.

Darin PJ9: Darin becomes increasingly aware of Pookie’s odd behavior and sets out to make sense of it.

Hank AJ5: Hank is tasked with extorting more scientific information from Darin by the drug traffickers blackmailing him.

Deeper Layer: Pookie’s odd behavior hints at something being off with his handler (Hank). Hank sleeping with his dead wife’s sister is “off” somehow.

Act 3: Darin puts the pieces together.

Darin PJ10: Darin gets back on the wagon.

Darin PJ11: Darin enlists Dharma’s help to make sense of what Pookie has been trying to communicate. Dharma is her AA sponsee. Dharma works with dogs.

Darin PJ12: Darin is given information from Leff-T casting suspicion on Hank.

Hank AJ6: Hank is told by the blackmailers to throw Darin off the scent, or they will kill her and expose him.

Hank AJ7: Hank has Dharma overdosed.

Turning Point 3: Dharma’s overdose.

Darin PJ13: Darin’s finds a bloody sock of Hank’s and realizes he might be missing a toe.

Darin PJ14: Darin tests Pookie’s nose with different chemical compounds in order find out which one is freaking the dog out.

Darin PJ15: Darin confers with one of Hank’s colleagues to access footage of Pookie’s failed drug scent.

Deeper Layer: Darin and Pookie are healing each other. They are solving the crime together. Solving the crime is strengthening Darin, her resolve, her sobriety, her purchase on life.

Act 4 Climax: The showdown.

Darin PJ16: Having put the pieces together – – Darin has a showdown with Hank.

Hank AJ8: Hank confesses everything and has a shootout with Darin, Leff-T, and Pookie.

Darin PJ17: Darin shoots Hank.

Deeper Layer: Darin realizes she is not responsible for Livie’s death. The healing can begin. She has kept her promise and avenged her sister’s death.

Resolution: Darin accepting FiFi award for “Dog Perfume” she made for Livie. Her husband, Leff-T, their daughter and Pookie watch the ceremony.

[CLAIRE RILEY]

Claire’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

MY VISION:

I have a fabulous career as a screenwriter working in both TV and film, and I have tremendous creative, financial, and personal success. I specialize in female driven projects, and I am the go-to-girl for writing lesbian stories.

WHAT I LEARNED: This is so not perfect. But I’ve learned to not expect perfection. That simply paralyzes me. Instead, I am creating what I can create today, and moving forward, trusting that I can and will elevate my outline in future assignments.

THRILLER SCRIPT

Act 1:

PJ: Eve and Debbie are at a diner on a date. They are clearly in love. A waitress who obviously knows them makes a joke about how in love they are.

AJ: Someone is watching them. Who? Why?

PJ: Eve and Debbie are dancing together on the street, and Debbie’s ex-husband tries to abduct Debbie. Eve fights him off and rescues Debbie.

Inciting Incident:

PJ: Debbie and Eve fight because Eve is secretive. Debbie breaks up with Eve

PJ: Eve sends Debbie texts and leaves vms trying to reconcile. They go unanswered.

AJ: Eve feels groggy and collapses.

AJ: Eve wakes and realizes she slept a long time and was probably drugged. She checks her email and phone to see if Debbie has responded. She has not. Eve notices texts she does not remember sending. What happened last night?

PJ: Eve goes to her office and tells her co-worker that she thinks she was drugged. She tells her that Debbie broke up with her. Her co-worker is supportive.

TP 1

AJ: Eve sees a TV news report that Debbie has been kidnapped.

Act 2:

AJ: Patty cries on TV, begging kidnappers to return her daughter safely.

PJ: Eve meets the FBI and tells them that she and Debbie are lovers, and last night Debbie’s ex tried to abduct her.

Deeper layer: FBI say that her mother told them that Debbie was engaged to a man. Eve says Debbie didn’t tell her mother about their relationship.

AJ: The FBI bring in Debbie’s ex for questioning. He does not have an alibi. He says he was protecting Debbie from Eve.

AJ: Patty tells FBI that Eve was stalking Debbie, not dating.

Deeper level: FBI confront Eve with Patty’s charges and Eve denies them. She can prove she and Debbie were involved. She looks through her pictures and she can’t find any with Debbie. She does not understand what is happening.

AJ: The FBI guy shows her texts she sent to Debbie last night. Some of them she sent, but some she did not. These texts make it appear that Eve was stalking Debbie.

PJ: She says she has a witness, a waitress at a diner she and Debbie frequent.

AJ: The FBI take her to the waitress from previous evening. Waitress says she never saw Debbie and Eve together, but thy were there at the same time at separate tables.

Midpoint:

FBI arrest Eve for kidnapping Debbie

Act 3:

AJ: FBI interrogate Eve as if she is the kidnapper. In addition to the texts that Eve does not remember, The agent shows Eve her GPS that shows the previous night Eve drove from her home to Debbie’s home and then to the middle of isolated woods. What was she doing there? Did she kill Debbie and dump her body?

PJ: Eve freaks out. She did not kidnap or kill Debbie. She is a CIA agent. If I were going to kidnap and kill someone, I’d know how to cover my tracks. Obviously, she’s been set up.

Deeper level: A man watches a TV report about Eve being arrested for kidnapping Debbie.

AJ: A man comes to the FBI and says he is Debbie’s fiancé and she told him a woman was stalking her. He picks Eve out of a lineup.

PJ: Eve tells the agent that she believed she was drugged last night so she had a blood test at the CIA office. That will prove she was drugged. Agent asks why would her mother and this man lie? Eve says she does not know.

AJ: the agent goes back to Debbie’s mother and asks why didn’t Debbie report the stalking? Patty encouraged Debbie not to report it because she believed Eve was sick. She encouraged Debbie to pray for Eve instead. Patty cries thinking it was all her fault. Agent comforts her.

Major Reveal: The man who was watching news report of Eve’s arrest comes into the FBI office. He is Eve’s father. He is a famous psychiatrist who promotes using conversion therapy to “cure” queer people. He reveals that when Eve was a teen, he forced her into conversion therapy, but it did not work. She ran away and joined the military.

Major Reveal: FBI agent asks Roger if he thinks Eve could have kidnapped and killed Debbie. He says he is not sure. Agent tells him that a woman Eve dated died mysteriously. Roger is stunned.

The agent asks Roger if he would talk to Eve and find out what happened to Debbie. Roger agrees.

PJ: Roger enters the interrogation room. It appears that he believes Eve is guilty. Eve is frustrated and upset, because no one is looking for Debbie.

Deeper Level: Roger tells Eve there is a group that kidnaps queer people and puts them through forced conversion therapy. He thinks these people might have kidnapped Debbie.

He gives her some info on finding them. She asks, but why would they kidnap Debbie? He says usually family members ask these people to kidnap their queer relative and convert them. Eve is stunned. Her family?

Turning Point: Roger helps Eve escape.

Act 4

PJ: FBI chases Eve. She gets away from them.

AJ: kidnappers chases Eve. She gets away from them.

PJ: Eve follows the kidnappers back to where they are holding Debbie.

PJ: Eve breaks into the hiding place and rescues Debbie.

PJ: Eve contacts the FBI to tell them she found Debbie. Debbie tells the FBI Eve had nothing to do with the kidnapping. Take Debbie to the hospital

PJ: Eve tells the FBI that Patty may have been involved.

PJ: The FBI, Eve and Debbie

Climax:

PJ: Eve confronts Patty and tricks her into confessing.

Resolution:

Eve asks Debbie to marry her.

HORROR SCRIPT

Act 1

AJ: A patient in a mental hospital violently kills her psychiatrist.

Deeper Level: Sybil has an interview with an entertainment TV news show and reveals that she is investigating the murder of a psychiatrist by her patient in the 1950s.

Deeper Level: News person says that locals report the abandoned hospital is haunted and there was a murder suicide in 1980.

PJ: Maeve, Sybil’s wife, is overcome by a dark energy and faints. When she recovers she says she is okay but does not mention the dark energy. Diana tells Maeve she is not telling the truth and encourages her to say what’s on her mind.

AJ: Strange things happen on the set.

PJ: The dark energy overwhelms Maeve again and she tells Sybil they should leave right away. Sybil argues with her and dismisses her experience.

AJ: Zora goes crazy and kills her wife, Diana.

Act 2:

PJ: Maeve suggest they all leave. The dark energy caused the death.

Audrey scoffs, says ridiculous, this is a mental/emotional issue. Sybil agrees with Audrey.

PJ: Maeve, Libby and Regina try to leave. The bridge is out They cannot leave.

AJ: Zora tries to kill herself. She seems possessed again.

PJ: Maeve restates that there is a dark energy and suggests they have a séance. Sybil dismisses her.

PJ: Maeve investigates the murder suicide in 1980.

Deep Level: Maeve learns that in 1980 a lesbian couple investigated the murder in 1950 and one of them killed the other and then herself.

Midpoint Turning Point:

AJ: Regina is possessed and murders her wife, Libby.

Act 3:

PJ: Maeve tells everyone that she believes the women were possessed and caused to kill their spouses.

Audrey tells Eve there is something wrong with her. She’s delusional. Sybil agrees and says Maeve wants attention.

Alison, Audrey’s wife, tells everyone that Audrey and Sybil are having and affair and that’s why Audrey is saying there is something wrong with Maeve.

Audrey and Alison fight.

PJ: Maeve confronts Sybil about their relationship. They fight and eventually break up.

AJ: Audrey is possessed and kills her wife Alison.

PJ: Maeve has a séance.

AJ: The ghost of the evil psychiatrist tries to prevent Maeve from communicating with the ghost of the woman who murdered the evil psychiatrist, but is unsuccessful.

PJ: The ghost of the murderer comes through and tells Maeve the truth.

Deep Layer: The woman murdered her doctor because she was torturing her for being queer, and the ghost of the psychiatrist, not the patient, has been possessing the women and forcing them to kill their own wives.

Flashback to what really happened.

Turning Point:

AJ: Maeve feels herself being possessed.

Act 4:

PJ: Maeve fights off the ghost of the evil psychiatrist and exorcises it from within herself.

Climax

AJ: The ghost possesses Sybil. Maeve battles the ghost and gets rid of it for good.

Resolution:

Maeve saves Sybil from the ghost. The ghost goes to hell. Maeve and Sybil get back together.

[Farrin Rosenthal]

Farrin Rosenthal’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.

What I learned doing this assignment is how a beat sheet combines different elements of our outline. It contains the 4-act structure, the protagonist and antagonist’s journey, along with deeper layers and genre conventions.

Title: TRAPPED

Genre: Thriller

Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.

Act 1: Tom and his family are kidnapped.

Tom PJ 1: Tom wakes up trapped in a dark box, doesn’t know where he is or why.

Tom PJ 2: We see Tom’s old ways and how they affect his family. Tom confronts a robber at his store.

Tom PJ 3: Tom shows his penny-pinching ways at a fast-food place.

Inciting Incident: Tom and his family are kidnapped by hooded figures. Who are they?

Dmitriy AJ 1: Orders two cars cut off and surround Tom’s car. Hooded figures kidnap Tom and his family.

Tom PJ 4: Tom and his family are kidnapped.

Deeper Layer: Tom doesn’t know who the kidnappers are or why they were taken.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Anticipation

Turning Point: Tom finds out where he is (at the bottom of a pool) and that he is accused of stealing $3.6 billion from a Russian mob boss who is holding Tom’s family hostage.

Tom PJ 5: Tom learns he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

Dmitriy AJ 2: Dmitriy tells Tom he and his family have 60 minutes to live unless Tom confesses.

Act 2: Tom is trapped in a watery grave.

Tom PJ 6: Realizing just how trapped he is, Tom’s claustrophobia starts to overwhelm him, see him trapped in an elevator as a kid. Susan, Tom’s wife must step in and help, gets Tom to focus on the day they got married in Hawaii.

Dmitriy AJ 3: Dmitriy continues to try to get Tom to confess, but Tom is overcome with claustrophobia. Dmitriy allows Susan to help Tom.

Tom PJ 7: See Tom and Susan’s wedding in Hawaii.

Tom PJ 8: Tom now able to focus, but can’t talk his way out of box, threats against his family increase. Tom calls police. He doesn’t know where he is, police can’t find him, his plans fail.

Dmitriy AJ 4: Dmitriy ups his threats against Tom’s family, threatens to rape and kill them, even the dog.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Tom finds out a Russian mob boss kidnapped them and is told why.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Anticipation

Midpoint Turning Point: Tom’s box slowly starts to fill with water.

Act 3: Tom is still trapped and now water is rising.

Tom PJ 9: Nothing Tom is saying or doing to escape works. Water keeps rising, time and air running out.

Dmitriy AJ 5: Dmitriy can’t get Tom to confess as water keeps rising, time and air running out.

Tom PJ 10: More desperate, Tom tries to be tougher.

Dmitriy AJ 6: Dmitriy is unmoved as Tom tries to act tougher, hurts Tom’s kids.

Deeper Layer: Dmitriy and Tom don’t know they have both been manipulated by Tom’s wife and her lover.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Anticipation

Turning Point: When tension is at its peak, at the very last second, water at its highest point in the box, with the least air and space left, Tom finally confesses.

Act 4: Tom escapes.

Dmitriy AJ 7: Dmitriy orders Tom be freed from box.

Tom PJ 11: Tom is let out of the box with seconds to spare.

Dmitriy AJ 8: Dmitriy tells Tom to access the accounts with the stolen Bitcoin or he can watch his family die slowly.

Tom PJ 12: Tom learns the truth while pretending to access the stolen accounts.

Dmitriy AJ 9: Dmitriy is shocked to learn his brother Ivan betrayed him, they fight, Dmitriy pummels Ivan and looks like he will win easily, but Ivan somehow turns the tables and kills his brother.

Tom PJ 13: Tom tries to protect his family as the Russian brothers fight, sees Ivan kill Dmitriy.

Tom PJ 14: Tom confronts Ivan, after learning of his wife’s betrayal, that she and the Russian are having an affair and are the masterminds behind everything. Now it’s a fight to the death. Tom kills Ivan with a little help from his kids.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Tom learns his wife is having an affair with Ivan and that they framed him. Dmitriy learns of his brother’s betrayal.

Thriller Conventions: Life and death situations, Mystery, Intrigue, Suspense, Hero, Villain, Uncertainty, Tension, Surprise, Anticipation

Resolution: Victory and death.

Tom PJ 15: Tom and his kids are safe, wife is now in the box screaming, right where the bitch belongs, all assets are in Tom’s name, so he is now a billionaire.

Dmitriy AJ 10: Dmitriy is dead.

[Peter Field]

Peter’s Beat Sheet Draft 1

My scripts are so good they could be published on their own and William Goldman would write the introduction.

What I learned in this assignment is trying to integrate these various previous assignments was not as simple as I hoped it would be. I attribute that to the fact that each of the other assignments had a somewhat different version of the story and so this Beat Sheet is also a little different. It has given me a few ideas for possible comparable movies, though – e.g., The Man Who Knew Too Much, and Salt, for starters.

TITLE: COLD DAY IN SEOUL

Genre: Action/Drama

ACT 1: David gets a chance to vindicate his military record.

Opening – David and Jennifer are part of a sightseeing tour and meet accidentally when Jennifer’s purse is stolen and David chases the thief, who gets away

David PJ 1: David goes to a remote SE Asian retreat to heal his wounds. There’s a big peace conference nearby.

David PJ 2: Reunites with a military buddy and reveals how bitter he is about his treatment by the army

Jennifer AJ 1: Jennifer’s primary security is accused of theft and detained by local police

Deeper Layer: David may be a loyal soldier, but he is deeply damaged inside.

Jennifer AJ 2: Jennifer green lights the use of locals for bodyguard details

INCITING INCIDENT: Jennifer asks David to help with private security

Jennifer AJ3: Jennifer manipulates official protocols to enable coup/assassination

Deeper Layer Reveal: Jennifer is part of “shadow government” coup plotters

David PJ3: David agrees to join private security team

Jennifer AJ4: the shadow government was responsible for David’s mission failure

TURNING POINT 1: a coup/assassination attempt derails peace talks

ACT 2: the private security team fails miserably but David fights off insurgents to protect Jennifer

David PJ 4: David is not the best fighter on the team

Jennifer AJ4: Jennifer is setting David up to be blamed for the assassination attempt

Deeper Layer Reveal: David is not a true warrior; those skills cannot be taught

TURNING POINT 2/MIDPOINT: David discovers a link between coup/assassination attempt and his failed mission

ACT 3: David vows to find out once and for all who was behind his failed mission

David PJ5: David tracks down an ex-agent who has information about Jennifer

Jennifer AJ5: Jennifer has the ex-agent killed before David learns the truth

TURNING POINT 3: David and Brian break in to US black site to recover secret documents; they are both captured

David PJ6: David meets his match with a fighter who almost kills both he and Brian

Deeper Layer Reveal: the docs show Jennifer’s link to US agency behind coup/assassination

David PJ7: David and Brian are both taken hostage/captive

Jennifer AJ6:

ACT 4: David confronts the true culprit, Jennifer

David PJ8: David finally sees Jennifer as an equal, if not a superior; she kicks his ass

CLIMAX: David sacrifices himself and saves Brian from execution

David PJ9: David is willing to give up his life to protect his friend

Jennifer AJ7: Jennifer kicks David’s ass

Deeper Layer Reveal: Jennifer is the true warrior; she and David will never be “equal”

RESOLUTION: David’s rep is restored, he vows to carry on

[Zeke Farrow]

VISION FOR SUCCESS: I will deliver delicious, surprising, seemingly effortless work, that is constantly in demand and causes people to recommend me for original and rewrite projects without hesitation.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS dropping these elements from these different brainstorms into a structure is absolutely astonishingly useful. Thank you.

TITLE: Mitchwich

CONCEPT: On graduation day, a petulant cynic goes back in time to the first day of high school and changes the event that he thinks ruined his life and when he returns, he meets his worst nightmare – HIMSELF.

GENRE: TEEN BUDDY COMEDY

ACT 1:

OPENING:

PJ/AJ Mitch is bright eyed and excited for his first day of high school and his magic trick.

INCITING INCIDENT B STORY:

PJ 1 MITCH’s magic trick fails. Mitch has a panic attack and shits all over SOPHIE.

PJ 2 It’s 4 years later and Mitch is caught in his old ways – Bullied by SIMON, Afraid to speak to Sophie, His one friend is ROBBIE who he treats bad.

INCITING INCIDENT A STORY:

PJ 3 Mitch gets in the time machine he built and goes back in time to the first day of Freshman year to fix the trick and stop the poop.

SURFACE LAYER: Mitch goes back in time in order to stop the event that ruined high school and leave the new version of himself to live happily ever after.

DEEPER LAYER: Mitch needs to fix himself, not change who he is.

TURNING POINT:

PJ 4 AJ 3 Mitch meets New Mitch.

ACT 2:

REACTION/NEW PLAN:

– Mitch pretends to be Old Mitch’s cousin Mitch. Navigates the new future: His mom divorced his dad and is a shark real estate agent. His dad lives alone in a bachelor apartment working on the ‘algorithm’ that will change advertising, Sophie and New Mitch still aren’t dating. Robbie is gay and dating Simon. His dog doesn’t know how to do any tricks. Old Mitch is petrified of all of these changes. His new self. His new relationships.

PJ 5 Mitch investigates the new present that he’s created.

AJ 4 New Mitch is driven crazy by Sophie as he puts on his magic show and mentors Mitch.

PJ 6 Mitch helps New Mitch rehearse for his magic show and becomes sick with envy that New Mitch has fulfilled his dream, but doesn’t know how to express his feelings.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT

PJ 7 During the spectacular magic show, New Mitch gives Mitch the opportunity to do the magic trick again. He does. Mitch and New Sophie fall in love at first sight.

ACT 3:

RETHINK:

PJ/AJ New Mitch has a 3way with Mitch to try to forget about Sophie.

PJ Mitch doesn’t have his baggage anymore. He can be a new him.

PJ Mitch realizes that he can have a chance to be a good friend to Robby. He can learn to have empathy for Simon. He can have a chance to woo Sophie. He can help his father. He can give his mom the love she needs. But he can’t save his dog.

NEW PLAN:

PJ Mitch fixes New Mitch and New Sophie.

AJ – New Mitch must value New Sophie above all else. New Sophie must recognize New Mitch’s genius.

TURNING POINT:

– Mitch was wrong about Time Travel. It’s not a closed loop. He’s created a multiverse. Mitch will have to live his whole future in the wrong timeline.

ACT 4

CLIMAX:

Mitch can have his old life back. He has to travel back in this universe to before he went back to… And then travel forward in time and he’ll end up with his whole life back.

AJ New Mitch and New Sophie must say goodbye to Mitch.

PJ Mitch has to fix the time machine. Go back. Leave to go back forward the moment he left.

RESOLUTION:

PJ Mitch is able to fix his relationships with his mom, dad, Robbie, Simon, his dog, and Sophie. Mix does the magic trick again for Sophie. She falls in love with him at first sight.

[Bobby Sacher]

Bobby’s Beat Sheet – Draft One

What I learned doing this assignment is… a way to weave genre conventions for Horror into a structure based on the Protagonist’s Journey FIRST is incredibly powerful! Love this.

MY VISION: A writing life that is mine to do with as I please. Independently wealthy, always creatively engaged, sought after, and utterly fulfilled.

4-ACT STRUCTURE

OPENING: Jason fantasizes being the “hero” (killing Jack, rescuing Lucy)

Genre Convention (Horror): cold open – couple chased through woods by masked killer!!

PJ: We see Jason as he wishes he were: powerful, victorious, getting the girl

Jason is woken by CARL (Dad) with a punch to the nuts; Carl mocks him, berates him for being late to work, etc.

PJ: Jason’s reality: he is terrorized at home, and cannot fight back.

Jason is late for work, and abused and mocked there

PJ: It’s not just at home – Jason has no safe space

INCITING INCIDENT: Jason humiliated by Hack and the bullies; fired by boss

AJ: Hack “plays the clown” pulling down Jason’s pants. Gets underwear too, and enjoys it in a quieter, more disturbing way. (Maybe pours coffee on Jason?)

DL: Some interaction between Jack and Lucy re: Jason’s treatment…? Jack uncomfortable with group’s mockery, but lacks the balls to say anything

AJ: In parking lot (unseen by Jason) Jack goes off on Hack a bit – always taking things too far. Hack goes quiet, withdraws – we see his hatred for Jack

TURNING POINT 1/END OF ACT I: Jason’s Dad sides with bullies (“you’ll always be a loser, ‘cause you can’t take what you want”) Jason vows to live out his fantasy and kill his enemies

DL: Carl (J’s Dad): You know, you make me grateful your mother isn’t here to see what a fuckin pussy you turned out to be.

PJ: Jason looks at the posters on his walls: Jason, Freddy, Terminator – men of power, who “take what they want” – and decides to finally BE what he admires

DL: Jason ties an old shirt/piece of cloth (his Star Wars shirt) around his forehead “bandana-style” as part of his “warrior look”

ACT II: Jason tracks bullies to the cabin – falling victim to fear all the way, failing over and over to live up to his own expectations of the “Avenging Hero” – then he has his first chance to kill…

GC: group detoured (bridge out due to “last night’s storm”) – has to leave car and walk through Civil War graveyard. Graves dug up (ALAN: “looks like someone dug OUT” MAGGIE: “Yeah that’s what happened.” JACK: “Graverobbers – Civil War uniforms, guns, all that shit. People even buy their bones”)

AJ: In graveyard, Hack pushes _______ into empty grave. Too deep to get out, he freaks – and Hack watches with a grin, ‘till Jack offers a wooden plank for _______ to grab on to.

PJ: Jason falls into same empty grave as _______. Uses physics to get out (stacking wooden slats against dirt walls of grave, climbs out) – shows his brilliance, but HE just things he’s a loser for falling in.

GC: As Jason leaves graveyard, we see dirt bubble up on another grave, as a skeletal hand breaks the surface…

DL: In scenes at cabin, Lucy really pissed at Jack, and he can’t figure out why…

GC: Maggie and Top dive in the lake, despite Jack’s warning about military “run-off” from secret compound farther up the mountain.

TURNING POINT 2/MID-POINT/END OF ACT 2: Jason can’t make himself kill Vinnie – one of nastiest bullies – peeing in the woods; then a zombie kills Vinnie! Jason freezes, until Hack kills the zombie with Jason’s machete. Zombies are real! Hack realizes what Jason’s doing there… and smiles.

GC: DEATH #1! Zombie reveal!

PJ: Jason has the chance to kill Vinnie… and CAN’T. Makes the right moral choice (this reinforces idea that audience CAN root for him), though he feels he’s failed.

AJ: Hack doesn’t care about Vinnie’s death AT ALL. Hack is NOT scared of a zombie. And Hack is thrilled to have Jason as a hostage – and impressed with his bag of weapons. We see Hack’s manipulation at work, and just how at peace he is with violence.

ACT III: Hack brings Jason inside, claims to know nothing of zombies. Jason begs bullies to help him, to survive zombie attack

AJ: Hack sets Jason up for mockery. Forces Jason to lie about Vinnie (haven’t seen him, have we, Jason?)

DL: Jack goes off on Jason’s obsession with monsters (these two seem to know each other VERY well)

PJ: The SCARIEST bully controls Jason now – he knows why Jason’s here, and uses that to fuck with Jason/make him say things he doesn’t want to. (HACK: You think Crystal is the hottest girl here, right Jason? JASON: (looking at Lucy) Um, yeah sure. Whatever. Etc)

GC: Vinnie’s been gone a long time – group goes out to look for him.

GC: DEATH #2: ASTRID (sacrificial lamb) – screams in horror!

GC: Maggie turns zombie! Lying passed out on couch, she’s moaning – we see infected cut on her leg (or maybe a new tattoo she just got) – she leaps up, foaming at the mouth, and attacks!! Chaos!!

GC: DEATH #3/#4: Maggie bites _________. Someone kills Maggie.

AJ: Hack stands back and watches. Takeaway is “wow. She just kept comin, didn’t she?”

TURNING POINT 3/END ACT 3: Zombies invade the house, as Jason’s “mission” is revealed, and he has to confront bullies/make amends, while fleeing to roof to avoid zombies

GC: Jack puts on floodlights – zombies EVERYWHERE outside!

AJ: Hack: (“Well Jason’s got a big bag of weapons, don’t you, Jas?”)

DL: Lucy: “you were going to kill us?” Jason: “Not YOU! No! I – “ Jack: “Just the rest of us…”

PJ: Everything out in the open, Jason finally stands up for himself (while admitting: “I may have overreacted” 😉 ). Confronts Jack about past

TOP (Maggie’s BF) is suddenly a whimpering mess (“I don’t wanna be a zombie…” – we see his own infected tattoo). DEATH #5 – Hack kills Top (still human)!

Jack sees Hack for who/what he is. Orders Hack to just sit the fuck down, and don’t move.

GC: They need Jason’s bag of weapons – which is OUTSIDE. Jason and Jack get bag, barely get back to house.

AJ: Hack makes a decision, and sneaks off. He opens basement doors to let zombies in. Kills one, and eats some zombie flesh (let’s see what this does)

DL: Jack and Jason “have it out” – REVEAL about their past, Jason’s mom’s death and Jack’s abandonment of Jason. (need to figure out Lucy’s role in all this…)

AJ: Hack becomes leader of zombies, finally giving in to his impulses – ripping ALAN’S throat out with his teeth (Alan – voice of reason in the group). Maybe doing away with ELLEN as well (complainer)

GC: Place of “safety” (the house) is breached. Group must flee under all-out attack. Get to attic, where they’re trapped. Zombies climbing ladder one by one, have to get thick window open. Can’t break it, try everything. Jason saves the day (“I think it opens OUT”). They scramble onto roof.

CLIMAX: Jason defeats Hack – who’s turned zombie – and saves Jack and Lucy.

PJ: Jason works hand in hand with Jack to beat Hack – friendship repaired, and Jason shows what he can do

DL: Metaphorically, Jason destroys the baggage/dead weight he’s been carrying around his whole life – proves his dad wrong

PJ: Jason is finally the hero he’s always wanted to be

RESOLUTION: Jason is the hero at last – and makes friends in the process.

GC: KILLER ISN’T DEAD – there are more zombies in the woods. Organized into a “platoon” with guns. Then the CONFEDERATE zombies attack the ones that were standing in the way (“as a black person, I feel very conflicted about this” says ________).

DL: Jack acknowledges Jason’s heroism; a possible re-kindling of friendship. Jason acknowledges Jack and Lucy make a good pair?

[Teresa Rodriguez]

Teresa Rodriguez’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

What I learned from doing this assignment is that writing a Beat Sheet helps to give clarity to my script.

VISION: I will become a sought-after, respected, successful screenwriter/producer with my own highly profitable production company that I will leave as a blessing to my daughters and many generations to come!

GENRE: Fantasy/Dramedy

ACT 1: Evil Stepfather tries to get rid of Princess Lily.

Lily PJ 1: Lily’s animal friends throw her a simple birthday party in the forest.

Evil Stepfather AJ 1: The Evil Stepfather throws Lily the biggest fairytale birthday bash the kingdom has ever seen, with only “perfect people” on the guest list. (Incorporate other famous fairytale characters at the party)

Lily PJ 2: Lily is late to her own birthday bash.

Deeper Layer: Lily does everything to avoid her perfectionist fairytale life.

INCITING INCIDENT: Lily ___________ on Live TV. Stepfather tells her she’s an embarrassment to his perfect kingdom.

Deeper Layer: The Stepfather sets Lily up to fail at the party, trying to permanently damage her already low self-esteem, so he gets more “devotees” than her.

Evil Stepfather AJ 2: Tells Lily she’s a failure and wishes her mom had a boy instead.

Lily PJ 3: Lily leaves the ball in great shame.

Evil Stepfather AJ 3: Orders guards to kill Lily but to make it look like a suicide.

Deeper Layer: Stepfather wants to take over the kingdom. He also made the Queen’s disappearance look like a suicide. He secretly holds her in a dungeon, stealing her “essence” because she is the “fairest one of all.”

TURNING POINT: Lily fakes her own death, consults the Mirror on where to run, and secretly escapes the palace.

Act 2: Lily is free of her palace prison but not her own prison.

Lily PJ 4: Lily, following the Mirror’s directions, arrives at the Dwarf’s farm and tries to take refuge, but they throw her out for being royalty.

Deeper Layer: Lily has low self-esteem because she’s not the traditional size zero fairytale princess. She can never stand up for herself.

Lily PJ 5: She changes her look to disguise herself. Pretends to be an orphan.

TURNING POINT 2/ MIDPOINT: Lily steals food to survive and gets arrested.

Act 3: Lily’s new life begins.

Lily PJ 6: A Judge sends Lily to live in a homeless shelter with other imperfect “undesirables” and meets “Prince.” She’s also ordered to do “community service” at the Dwarf’s farm.

Lily PJ 7: Lily lies to Prince and Dwarfs about who she really is because they hate royalty.

Lily PJ 8: Prince teaches Lily self-defense to give her self-confidence.

Evil Stepfather AJ 4: He finds out Lily is still alive and tries to poison her.

Lily PJ 9: Lily collapses and fakes her own death.

Evil Stepfather AJ 5: Plans to steal “youth essence” from the kingdom’s youngsters.

Deeper Layer: The Queen’s “essence” is running out, and she’ll soon die.

Lily PJ 10: Lily, along with the Dwarfs and Prince, stop the Stepfather’s evil plot.

Evil Stepfather AJ 6: He captures the Dwarfs and Prince. Reveals that Lily is the princess.

Lily PJ 11: Lily tries to apologize to Prince and Dwarfs for lying, but they shun her.

TURNING POINT 3: Stepfather gives Lily a dilemma, she can either save the Dwarfs or Prince.

Deeper Layer: The Stepfather plans to frame Lily for killing the Dwarfs and Prince. While captive, Prince realizes his deep love for Lily.

Act 4 Climax: Lily becomes a hero.

Lily PJ 12: Lily recruits and teaches other “undesirables” self-defense. Together with the animals, they rescue the Dwarfs and Prince. However, Prince gets hurt, and falls into a deep coma.

Lily PJ 13: Lily reluctantly kisses Prince, she still doesn’t think she’s enough, but to her surprise, it saves his life.

Lily PJ 14: With new self-confidence, Lily fights her Evil Stepfather and wins on Live TV. Becomes a national hero.

Evil Stepfather AJ 7: His “youth essence” wears off on Live TV to “reveal” he’s really an “undesirable,” breaking the spell he has over Mirror.

Resolution: Mirror tells Lily where to find her mother, who’s barely alive; Lily saves her with a true love kiss; the Queen rules the kingdom again and dissolves all “perfectionist” rules. She forces the Evil Stepfather to do what he forced others to do _____ (maybe wash feet, he hates feet).

[Eclipse Neilson]

Eclipse Neilson Deeper Layer!

THE NUN AND THE WITCH

1.VISION: I want to be a great award-winning writer, known for my new genre, who creates the most beautiful films that inspire others to feel deeply, pause, and ponder ways to make the world a better place.

What I’ve learned it is still unfolding but there will be changes as I make some discoveries around Athena and the main characters.

2.Deeper Layer” puzzle

Why and how are these two women sent to earth to help save the heart of humanity.

3.Surface Layer:

Two opposite profoundly spiritual women befriend each other.

4. Deeper Layer:

They have a sacred mission together and life times of deep connection and the nun is destine to become a saint in this life time and it will be the witch that helps her.

5. Major Reveal:

The Old One (Native American woman)is a guardian from the Council of Universal Beings

6.Influences Surface Story

Opposition from the church people and extreme religious right, and white supremest.

Hints: anger builds with threats and rejection from their comment-

Teen thugs damage the Lunea’s store. Begin to bully Athena Lunea’s daughter.

Lunea the Witch is a political activist and is causing an uproar.

7. THE BEATS

THE NUN AND THE WITCH/ MYSTICAL SCI-FI DRAMA

Act 1

Opening:

UNIVERSE

In timeless space two figures are silhouettes on the hill as if it was above the stars.

VARIED VOICES and strange BEEPS STAR FLASHES of the council of Universal beings.

DARK TIME TUNNEL

Two soul wisp travel through images the dark and pause at first lifetime. Flashes of their lives begins with

EGYPTIAN TOMB

Two Egyptian women, each holds a small vessel of liquid . They stare at each other fondly flickers of flame from a torch near by. Pause drink poison and lay down in a grave-like space.

SISTER ANNE 35 lays her head on LUNA THUNDER’S shoulder and they hold hands – close eyes. The torch flickers on a sword on the grave.

TIME TUNNEL: MONTAGE

Time flashes on the walls on the time tunnel.

The 20’s two female archeologist discover grave two women skeletons in same position. They look at each other – and quickly cover up the grave.

Fast forward Auschwitz two women stare at each other as one is taken away.

Time tunnel moves faster. Darker and darker –

The shadowy figures of Anne and Luna in front of large metal door words THE REMEMBERING. It CREAKS open. They step through.

The door SLAMS close behind them other side of door is THE FORGETTING.

Open door to the present (2022)

THE HILL

Sunrise over the tall hill that looks over the town on the back of ancient goddess looking stone henge type of rock.

CHAPEL

The chapel is slightly run down.

Sister (Anne) lights a flame at the prayer candles placed at the feet of Jesus where a sword lays. Sister Anne gently bows. Tears fill her eyes.

Turns and looks at a stain glass window of Archangel Uriel the sunlight hits the sword and makes it look for a moment like a flaming sword.

THE HILL

Sunrise. Lunea with arms raised to the sunlight, turns to the stone monolith and with prayer hands bows reverently then she slowly looks up smiles and dances in front of the stone.

THE PARISH KITCHEN

Makes breakfast for father Sinclair. Sister Anne chops apple into small pieces and places on a dish serves it with a boiled egg and toast.

Walks over genuflects to him and serves tray/ He nods approvingly says grace she bows an opens one when she sees a the next door neighbors horse grazing in the field. Smiles like a child returns to obedient prayer.

Father Sinclair thanks her and smiles as he bites a piece of apple and stares at the turtle dove name MELODY.

LUNEA’S KITCHEN

Lunea makes breakfast for Athena walks over and kisses the top of her head grabs an apple from table and quarters it. Hands a piece to small parrot (Eva) who sits on top of his cage. Squawks .

Lunea mention something like – “Ah the forbidden apple my sweet Eve.”

ATHENA 17 gives the medicinal benefits she has learned about apples at school.

FLEA MARKET

Crowded Sister and is diagonally across from Lunea who has a stand full of crystals wands and other witchy type tools along with mega political brochures for women’s right- gay right – black life matters animal rights and more

They catch glances a few times. Sister Anne smiles. Lunea walks over and admires her beautiful flower prints buys a few for her store. Tells her she will raise money for her.

FATHER SINCLAIR’S BEDROOM

Anne lets him know she is going to spend the afternoon hiking with Jesus.

HILL MONTAGE

Scenes of the two climb hill from either side.

Sister Anne arrives after Lunea. Both look surprised.

They start up a longer conversation

Cloaked OLD ONE ( Native American shaman woman) sits behind big Mother stone and smiles as she listens to them talk. They do not know she is there.

Lunea’s store

Covered with many different traditions posters and flags – native – Goddess _ Buhdah ….

Lunea is organizing her shop.

Some teens come in stare at her and start messing things up. Turn over a table – You evil witch the yell out and dart out the door.

She calls the police but gives up after a short conversation. Slams the phone down.

THE CHAPEL

Sister Anne is sweeping then sits down in a pew gazes at the stature of Jesus that stands with a silver sword at his feet. She starts up a conversation / quote.

The sun sets in the Stain window across from Uriel is of Saint Patrick. Anne looks at him and shakes her head curiously with an asking why glance.

PARISH KITCHEN – DAY

Sister Anne and Father Sinclair have dinner. He tells her she must continue the church after he dies and not tell the head church.

He shares how afraid he is to have his church goers be abandoned and discusses some ideas.

Sister Anne consoles him and says she will do so. They tell each other their big secrets – He has not had any help from the big church for years and she tells him she was a runaway nun but never stopped being a nun. They hold each other’s hand as if there is a forgiving.

LUNEA’S HOME PORCH – NIGHT

Lunea sits out side looks up at the moon and takes one more sip of ale. A frown and a tear streams down her cheek.

FATHER SINCLAIR’S BEDROOM -NIGHT

He gets out of bed in the dark- opens the window- begins to fall- hobbles over to the cage and opens the cage door- a dark shadow and sound of wings as the bird flies out the window.

We hear a thunk on the ground. He has had an heart attack. In the moonlight we see he is smiling.

FATHER SINCLAIR’S BEDROOM

KNOCKING ON DOOR- Sister Anne slowly opens the door- first sees his feet . Rushes over to him. Drops to her knees begins to weep looks up sees the bird cage door and window is open. The dove is sitting up in a tree. Her tears begin.

She sees a notebook on the bedside table with a letter for her. She reads it giving her step by step instructions.

ACT 2

Turning Point:

CHURCH GRAVEYARD – DAY

Funeral – Sister Anne gives the funeral and is wearing father Sinclair’s stole and reads his words chosen to them .The congregation looks up to her and she must find courage give her first words of leadership.

She quotes part of Jesus words of Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

There are some grumblings around the men who do not want to take lead from a woman.

ANNE’S ROOM- NIGHT

Father Sinclair returns as a ghost.

He promise to guide but wants control- she is afraid.

THE HILL

She sit out and prays for help. She feels Jesus’s presence and she weeps.

When she looks up from her tears she see Lunea sitting by her side. They Sit side by side. Lunea tells her it will be alright.

ANNE’S ROOM

Father begins to haunt her warning her that evil forces are taking over the town. Takes her into the church and shows her the sword laid at Jesus feet- tells her what legend goes along with the sword. Belong to earlier pagan settlers.He disappears .She Kneels at his Jesus feet and prays.

She hears Jesus voice- telling them yp put down your weapons this is the sword of light not of death.

LUNEA’S HOME PORCH – NIGHT

Lost and overwhelmed Sister Anne seeks help from Priestess Lunea knowing she will understand what to do with the hauntings and help banish the evil.

Lunea ask her to her the church and let her see the sword.

THE CHAPEL-NIGHT

They realize as they become closer, that they must join heart flames to fight what is emerging in the town.

LUNEA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Lunea has a visitation in a dream by a Council of the Beings guardian.

The Council of the Universal Beings responds and sends an Ancient female guardian – The OLD ONE to guide them as they set out to fight the hatred, bigotry, and falsehoods that is taking over.

Contuined threats at Lunea’s store. She fghts bak with headlines of what is happening n the world rooted in judgement and hatred.

SCHOOL

Bullying starts at school for Athena

ATHENA’S BEDROOM

She breaks down.

STREET SCENE

Athena begins to skip school and befriends the Old one (woman) in the street.

LUNEA’S HOME – NIGHT

Athena tells Lunea she has met an old woman who is living on the street and she want to being her some food.

Lunea goes with her. The Woman is homeless. Lunea insist to bring her home.

ACT 3:

THE CHURCH – NIGHT

The Old One sends Lunea and Sister Anne through the Door of Remembering with the task to find in their past lives clues that appear as flashes and symbols for them to return to the present with as healing tools for all. The time tunnel is now the light in the statue of Jesus heart.

TIME TUNNEL MONTAGE

The realize they both witness Jesus’ crucifixion and wept together.

The travel further and see the war images of burnt homes.

They find a profound secret from the burning times when they both were burned as witches. They both carry back carefully the flames of the fire that burnt them. The place flame at the foot of Jesus where the sword lays. A miraculous image of the flaming swrod appears.

Midpoint Turning Point:

LUNEA’S HOME-NIGHT

The Old One performs a powerful ceremony- “The fusing of the souls between Lunea and Anne to fight evil with the sword.

They commit to never betray each other – no matter what.

ACT 3:

VILLAGE STREETS- DAY

The people in the town discover that their Nun and the Witch are secretly friends and begin to plan to attacks Lunea and her daughter Athena.

SCHOOL – DAY

Athena is rejected and bullied in school.

TOWNS PUB

The town’s hatred grows against all of them.

CHURCH

The brutal discrimination and hatred building forces Anne to stand in her power speak her heartfelt truth and carry out the mission Father Sinclair was never able to do.

ANNE’S ROOM

Father Sinclair and Sister Anne have a breakthrough moment and he gives her his diary -where he struggled as a preacher and the truths he discovered but kept secret. She begins to use his words.

Father Sinclair instructs Lunea to join the church.

One Sunday Sister Anne asks Lunea to share her understanding of the sacred text. Anne reads the Egyptian book of The dead but doesn’t say where it comes from until she is finished. Congregation walks out enraged.

Turning Point:

HILL

Lunea and Anne one night steal the church’s crucifix and carry it ceremoniously up the hill to the stone statue that strangely looks more and morel like the open arms of Mother Mary. They place the sword in her arms and small gold crucifix medalion at her heart.

TOWN STREETS

The congregation finds out. Town people enraged they seek Anne and Lunea out with a protest march- they burn down Lunea’s store.

CHURCH STEPS

There is a shooting on the steps of the church by a teen who has been bullying Athena from the beginning. Both Priestess Lunea and Sister Anne take the bullet first while trying to protect Athena who has run over to help the Old One up the stairs. But all are shot. Old One vanishes. Long silence. Lunea on top of Sister Anne on top of Athena all lay bleeding on the steps.

CHURCH STEPS

It looks like a miracle because Athena’s bullet wound is healed by both Lunea’s and Sister Anne’s hands on the wound when a glow of light appears in front of everyone just before they collapse and die.

The townspeople witness the miracle. They never really know who did the healing of Athena –

The spirits of the heavens appear at that moment as Star Beings, Angels, and cloaked Ancients from the Universal Council of Beings. The townspeople have an awakening.

ACT 4:

THE HILL

They carry one large casket up the hill. Priestess Lunea and Sister Anne are buried together on the hill (their favorite place.)

THE TIME TUNNEL (10 YEARS LATER)

Time tunnel appears again. We move forward to the door of the Future. It opens slightly and we see an image of Athena

Athena is now at the pulpit as the new preacher of the church.She wears the sign of the pagan moon and christian sun cross on either side of her priestess/Preacher stoll.

Congregation listens adoringly.

THE HILL

The last image is a gravestone inscribed – Here rest Priestess Lunea and Saint Anne side by side. Heart by heart – Soul by soul for all eternity. Sound of the doves cooing. and happy parrot squawk.

THE TIME TUNNEL

The door of time closes once again.

In the dark tunnel of remembering, a flame is lit and we see the original burial of the two Egyptian skeletons that the two female archeologists had discovered 1930’s and secretly covered back up. But now between them is the flaming sword.

The last scene is the sacred flame.

[Jaelle Dragomir]

Jaelle’s Beat Sheet Draft 1

My Vision: My vision: I’m an award winning screenwriter that is sought after by people in the industry, who creates scripts that change lives to bring a new vision to the world, and I’m richly rewarded.

In 1831, Helena is christened amongst a raging fire, a sign of psychic abilities. Her psychic abilities and her fierce temper haunt her in childhood and throughout her life. Helena leaves family and Russia and travels the world looking for the Divine Truth. In Tibet, Masters Morya and K.H. teach Blavatsky esoteric teachings of the Adepts.

She meets Olcott and Sinnett and they form the Theosophists Society in NYC. Elliott Coues tries to collude with Blavatsky to gain notoriety and wealth but she refuses.

The Society grows in popularity and opposing forces gather strength. Spiritualists speak out against Theosophists philosophy. Vsevolod Soloviov enters the inner circle of the Society and worships Blavatsky. Reverend Patterson denounces the Society as devil worshipers, and witches. Scientists meet with the Society arguing that their claims are preposterous. The Society meets with Christians and Spiritualists to resolve misunderstandings.

Rumors intensify and members of the Society start to leave in droves. Olcott and Blavatsky disagree about the Society and almost dissolve their relationship. Coues vindictively attacks Blavatsky in an op ed in The Sun in NYC. Blavatsky files a libel lawsuit and resigns as the head of the Society.

The Theosophical Society begins to crumble in NYC and headquarters move to India.

Blavatsky becomes seriously ill and almost dies, but the Masters save her.

The Society for Psychical Research hires an investigator, Hodgson, to go to India who sides with the Christians and writes a damming report.

Coulomb, a trusted Theosophist, spreads lies and the Theosophists board expels her from the society. Coulomb creates a counterfeit letter from Blavatsky showing damning evidence of fraud and the Reverend Patterson publishes the letter. Blavatsky decries it as a fake.

Vsevolod Soloviov becomes Blavatsky’s bitter enemy and denounces her. Sinnett and Olcott start distrusting Blavatsky. Loyalty for the Founders disintegrates at the Society’s center. Blavatsky again almost dies, leaves India, and moves to England.

The Society for Psychical Research report comes out and condemns Blavatsky as an imposter and a Russian spy.

Once again on her death bed, Blavatsky moves to London.

Dubbed the Blavatsky House, young students learn theosophy from Blavatsky.

In 1891, Theosophists celebrate its almost certain defeat of Elliott Coues and The Sun.

Madame Helena P. Blavatsky dies thus terminating the lawsuit for libel. The Sun retracts the articles by Coues as unsupported by factual evidence.

[Bob DeCarli]

Bob DeCarli’s Beat Sheet Draft 1

My Vision: To master my craft to the point where I’ve earned a reputation as the screenwriter top producers, directors, and stars can call upon when they need someone to save the day.

What I learned: I’m constantly amazed at how the the simple fill-in-the-blanks approach sparks creativity.

ACT 1: A Cocky Young Judge.

Opening: A put together 30-something man, flirting with an ATTRACTIVE WOMAN. Not clear who’s hitting on whom. A YOUNGER ATTTRACTIVE WOMAN appears to drag him away. A little jealousy seen in the Attractive Woman. “She’s too young to be your wife.” You’re right. She’s my law clerk.” “Come on, Your Honor.”

A late night, the young, pompous JUNIOR JUDGE reviewing cases to be heard the next morning. Partier, but a hard worker. Comments that he’s soon to be single. Brief review of the cases. Sentencing for a murderer, Imminent Domain case, and RED HERRING case.

RED AJ – Enters the courtroom with fanfare; like a celebrity, rich, powerful, and apparently well-liked.

RED Deeper Layer: He is driven by greed and will commit any crime – intimidation, extortion, murder – in order to close a deal.

DR TJ – DR is sentenced to death/life in prison by YG.

RED AJ – RED discovers YG plans to rule in favor of the plaintiffs challenging the imminent domain case.

Inciting Incident: Anonymous, ominous demand that he either recuse himself from an upcoming case or resign from the bench. Or else. [NOTE: Need it to look like the Female US Marshal is the one from whom he learned this. She’s in charge of YG’s “security detail.”]

YJ PJ – YG ignores demand to recuse himself, asks Law Clerk to draft Order ruling against construction company.

RED AJ – RED orders assembly of evidence to frame YG for murder. Presents evidence to the Chief Judge and the US Marshalls.

DR TJ – DR begins planning to escape with other prisoners before he’s transferred to prison from holding area in courthouse,

Turning Point: YG discovers his key card to enter the courthouse has been deactivated and Federal Marshalls appear, not to protect him, but to arrest him, for murder!

Deeper Layer: YG actually has committed murder, just not the one he is being accused of now.

ACT 2: Knocked down to the gutter.

Initial Reaction: He runs away! After calming down a bit, he goes to the Chief Judge, and asks for assistance (and we’ve had a setup already that they have a bad relationship and she’s been hostile to him). She tells him she can’t help him. Nothing personal. She tells him what she’d tell her best friend: turn himself in.

DR TJ – DR and other prisoners overpower guards and begin escape.

New plan: He joins a wild escape plan.

YG PJ and DR TJ Merge

The Marshalls are closing in on the Junior Judge – he is near the courthouse exit, where prisoners are being out of the courthouse and taken back to the jail. Seems like he’s cornered, prisoners being marched in. EXCEPT it’s a prisoner dressed as a guard. Marshall approaches a prison guard/transport, asks for help, then asks, “Who are you?” Prisoner Disguised as Guard, who shoots the Marshal. All hell breaks loose, and YG manages to join the Pirsoners side of the battle. Junior Judge appears, gun drawn – standoff. You can’t stop us. I don’t want to.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Female US Marshall shoots at YG to kill, but hits one of the escaping prisoners instead.

Everyone except him and Death Row are killed. He’s going to leave Death Row chained in the transport but releases him and takes him with him when Death Row yells, “I know who framed you” or “I can clear your name.”

Deeper Layer: DR isn’t helping YG with the hope of getting out of the death sentence, but to protect the neghborhood that will be razed if RED wins.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Female US Marshall works for RED, and was supposed to have killed YG.

Revised Plan:

Tell the Chief Judge that RED set him up, based on input from DR.

–Death Row agrees to tell what he knows to the Chief Judge, at YG’s insistence. Death Row is skeptical: She never liked Junior. What makes him think she’s not part of the plan to frame him?

Plan in action:

They manage to both get back inside the courthouse, with Junior actually managing it by acting with humility and getting someone to whom he previously was rude to help him.

RED AJ – RED learns gets wind of YG’s efforts, aided by DR, to reach the Chief Judge, to tell her YG is behind the false charges against YG. Instructs Henchwoman/Female US Marshal to prevent that at any costs.

Midpoint Turning Point:

Junior and Death Row manage to get in to speak with the Chief Judge. It looks like she’s beginning to believe them – when she’s killed by a gunshot through a window and the gun used is tossed in through the window, framing the two of them for the murder.

ACT 3: Climbing out of the gutter.

Rethink everything

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: YG and DR are given refuge by someone who would not be expected to help them. A pastor, perhaps, who makes clear that he would not have done so if it were YG alone. It’s for DR.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Chief Judge was on RED’s payroll as well, and like YG, “grew a set of principles,” which made her expendable. “What is it with these lawyers? They get on the bench, and think they’re supposed to have ethics all of a sudden.”

New plan

YG works with DR to prove that RED is behind the killing of the Chief Judge and framing YG and DR.

RED AJ – RED takes calls all his resources to locate and neutralize YG and DR.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift

Deeper Layer Reveal: Law Clerk also on RED’s payroll, with the promise of becoming a judge herself.

YG discovers that his last ally, his law Clerk, has actually been working with RED all along, and aided in, and was responsible for, him being set up.

ACT 4: Dispensing Judgment

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict

YG PJ – YG and DR concoct a plan to expose RED and the Law Clerk.

RED AJ/YG PG – Images publicized that appear to show RED and Law Clerk having an affair. RED’s wife not happy.

RED AJ – RED is now on the run, on the defensive, with YG and DR on the defensive.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL (“High Castle Surprise”): YG is guilty of murder – just not the one he was framed for.

DR TJ (“High Castle Surprise”) – DR is killed by Henchwoman/Female US Marshal.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: DR is a good guy – he sacrifices himself: first places himself in what is almost a no-win situation, then dies in order to protect an innocent from being killed by the Henchwoman/Female US Marshall (think of Elisha Cook, Jr., as Harry Jones, getting killed by Lash Canino; he dies, gives a fake address for where his wife is to save her, even though she would not have done the same thing for him).

RED AJ (Resolution) – RED is arraigned on a multitude of charges, facing the rest of his lift in jail.

Resolution

Having developed the qualities necessary to be a good judge, YG now disposes of cases compassionately, and in a scene that mirrors the opening, sentences another defendant.

[Jenifer Stockdale]

Jenifer Stockdale’s Beat Sheet Draft 1

Vision: I will write every day, producing not only high quantity but high quality scripts that will ultimately become popular movies and television shows.

What I learned doing this assignment is that of all the projects I’ve ever done, having a beat sheet for this one is the most important.

4-Act Structure

TC is triangle character = Tom

ACT I

PJ1: Dacey is at work, she is popular, efficient at her job, a patient cuts herself and Dacey handles it perfectly, although everyone else is falling apart.

Deeper Layer: In the background a patient lays in the bed, although there is no focus on her.

TC1: Tom talks at a group therapy session about being afraid to leave. Other patients tease him and he has to leave to calm down. Later there is a patient in hallway, he pushes her arm up and laughs when it doesn’t fall.

Deeper Layer: When Dacey comes in she pushes a patient in a stander into the circle. The nurse Darcey is in the background. People talk about their kids, someone says her husband always cooks her breakfast

PJ2: Dacey goes home in the morning. Her husband and children greet her, she is obviously popular with them as well, all excited to see her

AJ1: Dacey’s husband is at the stove – breakfast supplies are on the counter. He turns around and has everything laid out for Dacey to cook.

PJ3: Dacey comes home to a surprise anniversary party. She is thrilled. Her husband is amazing.

AJ2: Dacey’s husband flirts with DANA at the party, he also seems to be drinking.

PJ4: Dacey calls husband out on drinking, but he denies it. She checks cups in the garbage can, seems to determine that he was drinking.

PJ5: Inciting Incident: Her husband tells her he is going on a trip and she says it always falls apart, tells him look what happened last time and begs him not to go.

Genre Convention: Intrigue (what happened before?)

AJ3: He explains to her that he checked the smoke alarms, the pilot on the furnace.

Deeper layer: He says something strange in the middle of his sentence and his lips don’t move with his words, Dacey blinks hard and he is back to normal

TC2: Tom comes to Dacey’s house in the middle of the night, hysterical, afraid that someone is chasing him and trying to kill him.

PJ6: Dacey is freaked out that Tom is there – not appropriate – tries to get him to leave – she gives him a glass of water – washes glass and puts in dish strainer – they hear a noise outside (audience sees shadow), wind chime then planter falling over. Dacey calls an uber and sends him away.

Genre Conventions: Mystery-is someone really chasing Tom? who was outside?

TC3: Tom leaves in uber

PJ7: Dacey’s looks over kitchen (cup is in strainer) shuts off lights and heads upstairs.

PJ8: In morning Dacey wakes up, suddenly, distressed, rushes to kitchen – cup is not there, in cabinet. Goes outside – planter is not knocked over – daughter comes to door and calls her and she just misses seeing dirt on ground as planter was picked up.

Genre conventions: Mystery and suspense (and intrigue) – was it all a dream? Then again, who was outside?

PJ9: Dacey goes to work and hears that Tom was found dead. She is questioned about knowing anything about it and denies it.

Genre conventions: Intrigue – is she going to get in trouble?

AJ4: Husband home from trip – cracks in his veneer – he is irritated with Dacey because house is not clean, dinner is not done. Husband does something sketchy around the container where Dacey keeps tea bags.

Genre conventions: Intrigue – what is he doing? Dangerous villain –

Turning Point 1: PJ10: Dacey sees that a rug is out of place in the living room. She moves it and finds blood underneath (audience superior position as she is pulling backwards and doesn’t see blood trail at first). Dacey cleans the blood. Has flash of bat and blood flying. Goes to kitchen and takes glass Tom used out of cabinet, looks it over.

Genre conventions: mystery – Tom’s blood? How did it get there? Intrigue- if Tom was there then how did cup get back in cabinet?

PJ10: Dacey goes into living room (at a later time, there is something else in between here) and blood is back – she cleans it up again and it reappears before her eyes. She cleans it again.

Genre conventions: Intrigue – okay, what the heck is going on here?

TC4: Tom shows up (dead) and freaks Dacey out!

Genre conventions: mystery and intrigue – is Tom really there? She appears to be having delusions…so –

PJ11: At work they put up a Christmas tree and have a Christmas party. A patient steals the garland and hangs herself in the room. Dacey saves her.

PJ12: At home kids are getting irritated because they haven’t gotten a tree. They go get one. The smallest girl puts garland around her neck like a scarf – invisible hands pulls her in the air – Dacey runs over and grabs her legs, trying to pull her down. Oldest daughter calls “Mom” and Dacey snaps out of it – she has her arms wrapped around her daughter’s head (as she is standing, not in air!)

Genre conventions: intrigue – this is getting crazy! What is going on with Dacey? Is she crazy or is it the tea (because she is always having tea just before delusions occur)

Act 2: PJ13:Police come to her house to ask her about Tom coming over before his murder. She denies. They leave.

Genre conventions: suspense and intrigue: what about blood? She should have told them about everything, is she going to get caught lying?

PJ14: Dacey tells husband about police. Says she dreamed he came over, but he didn’t really, no evidence he was there in morning.

AJ5:Husband watches footage on RING camera. Sees Tom come in and then leave in Uber.

Genre conventions: dangerous Villain – what is he doing to footage?

PJ15: The police come back to see Dacey, they show her video of Tom coming – she admits that something happened that night but she thought it was a dream. She tells them that he left – she called an uber – they FF video, he never leaves, she shows uber account, never was a pick-up that night. They tell her to stay in town.

Genre conventions: dangerous villain – what did he do to footage Intrigue – why? Mystery – what happened to Tom?

PJ16: Dacey is really losing it – not cooking, etc. scrubbing floor all the time to the point where color is gone. Husband is picking up slack, making her an awful lot of tea…

Genre conventions: mystery and intrigue – why is this happening to her?

AJ6:Packs up his stuff and leaves – tells his kids not to worry he will make sure they are ok.

Genre conventions: intrigue- what is he doing?

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: PJ17: Dacey is not taking care of kids, herself, house.

AJ7: Calls Dacey, feels bad that he left, he should have stayed and helped her, not abandoned when she needed him most – could she forgive him? Could they get back together?

PJ17: Dacey gets very emotional, is thrilled and agrees to meet him at restaurant where they had first date.

AJ8: Husband hangs up phone and has an orgasam. Girl from anniversary party comes up from under covers and snuggles with him.

Genre conventions: intrigue-what the heck is he doing???

PJ18: Dacey goes to the restaurant – there is a reservation and an order for wine and hors d’oeuvres. Dacey waits…and waits…and waits. Finally goes home. Kids are gone. Phone rings, it is her husband.

AJ8: He tells Dacey that he has kids and if she says anything he’ll have her locked up.

Genre conventions: dangerous villain

PJ19: Christmas Eve, Dacey goes to church, sees people from hospital on alter, all get pulled up to ceiling by garland that snakes down, blood starts leaking from statues, people, waves of blood on floor.

PJ20: Dacey at work, looks down at her feet, sees patient shoes, blinks, back to her own shoes.

Deeper layer: strange delusion above (but then a quick switch so audience doesn’t have time to think about it)

TC5: Tom comes up to her and whispers in her ear – she freaks out

AJ9: Christmas morning husband brings kids, says he will come in but has to get something from car, goes out. Dacey seems smitten, playing happy families

Genre conventions: anticipation – is he really going to be part of the happy family?

PJ21: Dacey gives kids presents, they all say they already got them from Dana (father’s girlfriend). She looks out window for husband – he is in car – doing something that looks weird. Dacey gets on boots and coat – goes outside. Walks up to car and sees –

Genre conventions: intrigue – he has a girlfriend? mystery – what is he doing?

AJ10: He is j’ing off to video call with girlfriend.

Genre conventions: intrigue – oh boy

PJ22: Dacey mortified runs back in house. Son is playing with toy cars – right in the puddle of blood – Dacey screams for him to move –

AJ10b: Husband comes in, makes Dacey tea, she cries, he comforts her

PJ22b: Dacey goes into living room and son is one blood spot, playing with a toy car, smearing blood. Dacey screams

AJ10c: Husband comes in and says there is no blood, look

PJ22c: Dacey looks, no blood, realizes she never said anything about blood, asks him how he knew

Genre conventions: Intrigue – how does he know?

PJ23: Boss comes to house and fires her (this probably happens earlier than this) Tom leads her to husband’s closet where she finds (rubber chicken – which is in cart that woman pushes around in hospital) then she finds bat, she turns to Tom but then

Deeper layer: there is a woman in the hospital who pulls a cart around, there is a rubber chicken in it

AJ11: her husband grabs her leg and yanks her out of closet, he tries to choke her. Door bell rings and someone yells “Police”

PJ24: Police come to arrest her. She yells for Tom – fights them (need to add more with Tom and how he shows her the bat). They call an ambulance and send her away.

Act 3: PJ25:At the hospital, what looks like our Dacey standing in front of her locker (where we’ve seen her before) getting ready for work someone comes up to her and says “Darcey, she’s awake.” “Darcey” turns and it is not the woman we have been following –

Deeper Layer – it is a woman we have seen in background, but never focused on. She follows the other nurse to the patient room and the “Dacey” we have been following is in the bed, where we have seen a patient, but never focused on her either.

PJ26: This is Christina, an intermittent catatonic patient who has been imagining herself as “Dacey” – she is upset that Tom is dead, that she is being blamed for killing him, etc. Darcey comforts her. Patient who instigated other patient to cut herself gestures to Christina to grab Darcey’s door swipe. Christina does and throws it to her. Patient goes to locker and gets Darcey’s belongings.

PJ27: Christina and two other patients leave hospital. Christina finds Darcey’s address and tells driver to bring her there. They drop her off at house. She is confused that it is not the one from her dream.

PJ27: She goes into house and looks for kids. Thinks she finds bedroom, it’s a sewing room, another door is a linen closet

PJ28: She stumbles around house, more and more upset. Darcey’s real husband comes home, she sees him from behind, calls her “husband’s” name – he turns around – short, bald, not handsome like her “husband”. She kills him (or at least injures severely).

PJ29: She is arrested and taken to hospital. Talks to nurse named Laura.

PJ30: She (but audience doesn’t see who it is – it could be Darcey) goes into “Darcey’s” house and says I’m home, (and after a delay) her same three imaginary kids rush up to her – her imaginary husband turns around with her breakfast and says hi Lori, I made breakfast –

[Tom Wilson]

Tom’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

My Vision: When I discuss projects with producers, I come up with workable solutions. I’m thought of as someone who can come through for them in a pinch.

Doing this assignment, I learned this method really gets my creativity juices flowing.

Genre: Drama / Thriller

Act 1: John learns about BioPlus’ strange dietary supplements.

John PJ 1: Chemical engineer John brings Mel home. Goes to work at BioPlus.

Philip AJ 1: Mel’s dad whisks his son away to his company dispensary.

Deeper Layer: Philip doesn’t want John to know he implanted pods in everyone.

Inciting Incident: He discovers towns people are not well. Phil says he wants to fix it.

Turning Point 1: Philip AJ 2 discovers where Phil put pods in everyone.

Act 2: John learns about BioPlus’ strange dietary supplements.

Philip AJ 2: Examines the chemistry of all the ET seeds.

Turning Point 2: John PJ 1: Discovers Rosen has been putting toxins in the products.

Act 3: John discovers some of the ET seeds are toxic. Phil explains supplements and Abe.

Philip AJ 1: Takes positive steps. Filters out toxins.

John PJ 1: Chemically removes all traces.

Turning Point 3: Philip AJ 2 Discovers where Phil put pods in everyone.

Act 4: John optimizes supplement benefits. Says bye to Phil and Abe.

Philip AJ 1: Sobers up form the ET seeds he’s been binging on.

John PJ 1: Realizes he’s been wrong about Marian all along and begs her forgiveness.

Climax: Mel forgives Phil. Abe fights, kills Rosen

Resolution: John PJ 1: Takes over BioPlus. He and Marian marry.

[Nat Melvin]

Natalie’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

My vision is to create and produce award winning stories that make an unforgettable emotional impact on a worldwide audience.

What I learned from this assignment: It’s ok to let go off of perfection and to vomit the first draft, and… OMG! I discovered many new plot twists and deeper levels that now make total sense and also cover up a few plot holes. Loving this!

BLOODHUNTER

Mystery Thriller / Drama

ACT 1: A sudden death of a wealthy aristocrat triggers race for the inheritance

Emily PJ 1: Emily describes a source of her emotional trauma (witness a cult’s sacrificial ritual), and makes sketches from her memory – while under a hypnosis

Walter AJ 1: In preparation for his Great Uncle’s funeral, Walter arranges plaster phantoms on pews

Deeper Layer: Walter molds trophy plaster phantoms off his relatives’ bodies whom he kills

Hagan TJ 1: Comes to the chapel to bid farewell to his estranged father, and gets called to see his sister, Lady Winslet (LW)

Walter AJ 2: Walter becomes unsettled about Hagan’s visit to LW, slides aside a stone slate on the floor and descends into a hole

Deeper layer: Walter uses a network of old tunnels to get anywhere in the estate

INCITING INCIDENT: / PJ 2: Emily’s drawing of a girl triggers her belief that her daughter is alive

Hagan TJ 2 (Turning Point 1): LW reveals her terminal illness and quotes her late brother’s will that Hagan will not be a heir of the estate. She orders him to leave this town immediately, while his daughter, Hunter, will remain in LW’s custody until he sets his roots somewhere in a new place

Deeper Layer: Hagan is half African American adopted son of LW’s deceased brother born out of wedlock who’s been rejected by his father’s family of snobbish white suprematists

Walter/ as Cherimoya AJ 3: Cherimoya eavesdrops Hagan’s and LW’s conversation about the will

Hagan TJ 3: Hagan expresses his intent to fight for his rights and swears to find a proof of his relation to the family, no matter what or who stands on his way, and leaves, outraged.

Walter/ as Cherimoya AJ 4: Cherimoya enters LW’s room after Hagan leaves, trying to get a word about the will, choking LW to death

Emily PJ 3: Emily sees Hagan headed to the chapel through the window, attacks her psychiatrist, Susan, grabs her notebook, disguises herself with Susan’s rain coat and runs away

Deeper level: What if Emily’s psychiatrist was Hagan’s wife whom Emily accidentally killed a while ago? And she’s having a flashback which is triggered when she sees Hagan?

Hagan TJ 4: Hagan returns to the chapel and is approached by Detective Mike who is investigating Hagan’s father’s death

Emily PJ 4: Emily eavesdrops their conversation where detective Mike interrogates Hagan about his father’s bizarre death

Deeper layer: Younger Hagan attempted to burn his father when Hagan’s mother was killed

Hagan TJ 5: Hagan gets a sample of his late father’s charred skin and leaves. Mike threatens to corner him, and that this conversation is not over

Emily PJ 5: Emily waits for Mike to leave, then rushes toward the door, but…

Walter AJ 5: Walter grabs Emily by her ankles, trying to pull her into the hole on the floor, justifying it as trying to protect her from Hagan

Deeper layer: Walter was Emily’s boyfriend for a short while before she fell in love with Hagan.The three of them grew up together in Hagan’s father’s estate

Emily PJ 6: Emily frees herself up from Walter’s clutches, runs toward Susan’s car and drives off clumsily

TURNING POINT 1: Emily escapes from her self-induced confinement

ACT 2: Emily seeks Hagan’s help finding her daughter

Walter AJ 6: Walter watches Emily steering away in Susan’s car, then glances at Emily’s window, and limps in the direction toward the house

Emily PJ 7: Steams by a stalled police car with Detective Mike looking under its hood.

Walter AJ 7: Walter gets into Emily’s room finding Susan in a pool of blood on the floor. He asks about what Emily remembers and what she wants, then grabs Emily’s sketches book. He uses Susan’s finger to dial 911 and leaves her barely alive with a phone in er hand (OR: No Susan, no blood, just Emily’s sketches book)

Deeper layer: Detective Mike receives a police call about Kingsleys’ estate, then drives off after Emily. (OR: He sees Emily accelerating by and calls to inquire about her license plate – revealed as Hagan’s dead wife’s car)

Emily PJ 8: Emily notices police car chasing her, accelerates, looses control and slams into a tree

Walter AJ 8: Walter returns to the chapel, skims through Emily’s notebook, arranges a circle of candles by the altar similar to her drawing, then descends into the hole on the floor

Emily PJ 9: Emily gets a ride in detective Mike’s car, who asks navigating questions to confuse Emily. She tells Mike her visions about the cult, the tunnel, mentions her missing daughter, ostensibly in danger, and pleads to help her finding Hagan. Mike is intrigued. They arrive at Hagan’s nightclub. Mike cuffs Emily’s hands and takes her inside.

Hagan TJ 6: Hagan sips an Ayahuasca drink and dives into a flashback of the Younger self running away from his deranged drunkard father

Emily PJ 10: Mike leaves Emily with a barista, named Teresa, and asks her to bring Emily to Hagan’s office in 15 minutes

Hagan TJ 7: Gets interrogated by Mike who pressure him to admit killing his wife and his missing child

Deeper layer: Hagan’s wife is said to commit suicide in the tunnel by his club. Hagan is a suspect. They had a daughter who is presumed missing, but in reality she’s raised by LW. (New version: Walter has a flashback of seeing Susan (Hagan’s wife) killed, and dragging her away. He could have brought her into the tunnel and left her by Hagan’s club to set him up).

Emily PJ 11: Teresa, who claims attending the same boarding school as Emily, listens to Emily’s cry about her missing daughter being in danger and suggests talking to Cherimoya who knows Hagan well. They make a call

Deeper level: Teresa wants to marry Walter and is jealous of his love for Emily

Walter/ as Cherimoya AJ 9: Cherimoya agrees to meet Emily in an abandoned tunnel at midnight

Emily PJ 12: Teresa brings Emily to Hagan’s office. Mike watches their reaction. Emily backs away

Hagan TJ 8: Hagan offers Mike a bribe to find Kingsley family records book. Mike leaves

Emily PJ 13: Emily convinces Mike to meet Cherimoya

Walter/ as Cherimoya AJ 10: Cherimoya learns from Teresa that Emily knows about her daughter

Hagan TJ 9: Hagan has a flashback where his drunken father kills his mother, Younger Hagan sets him on fire, and Younger Emily pulls Hagan out of the flaming maid’s quarters, barely alive

Emily PJ 14: Emily and Mike find a manhole to get into the tunnel. Reluctantly, Emily goes in

Hagan TJ 10: Teresa tells Hagan that Emily and Mike were talking about abandoned tunnels

Walter/ as Cherimoya AJ 11: Cherimoya calls Hagan to inform him about the Ayahuasca meeting

Deeper layer: Hagan runs Ayahuasca healing retreat for troubled youth and misfits

Emily PJ 15: In the tunnel, Emily, enchanted by an unfolding, wild Halloween party, looses sight of Mike and gets lost. She asks around for Cherimoya

Hagan/ as Phantom TJ 11: Hagan, in a Phantom’s costume, finds Emily. They dance. He asks questions about her childhood

Emily PJ 16: Emily confesses her feelings for Hagan, the boy she fell in love with, and starts having a flashback to their childhood where they break up under the rain

Walter as Cherimoya AJ 12: Cherimoya watches Emily dance with the Phantom (Hagan), and sends a messenger to notify Hagan that Shaman has arrived

Hagan/ as Phantom TJ 12: The Phantom apologizes to Emily and leaves, asking his employees to keep an eye on Emily

Walter/ as Cherimoya AJ 13: Cherimoya catches Emily having withdrawal from meds and offers help. She takes Emily to a secret Ayahuasca gathering where during a bizarre ritual, Emily takes the drink

Emily PJ 17: While purging from Ayahuasca, Emily experiences petrifying visions from her past, the cult, and bizarre creatures abolishing her family

TURNING POINT 2/ MIDPOINT: In her vision, Hagan is revealed as a leader of the cult, where he conducts sacrificial ritual on a child

ACT 3: Character rethinks their journey and makes a real change to solve things

Emily suspects Hagan of being the leader of the cult and a threat to her daughter’s life

Emily PJ 18: Emily sees vivid visions of the Phantoms, Cherimoya, and LW gathered for a sacrificial ritual

Hagan/ as Phantom TJ 13: The Phantom sends Cherimoya to bring Emily back to the estate

Walter as/ Cherimoya AJ 14: Cherimoya asks questions about Emily’s visions while driving back to the estate. Emily gets sick from withdrawal and throws up

Emily PJ 19: Emily wakes up in someone else’s bed, naked. She finds her clothes neatly stacked up on bed, gets dressed and goes looking for Hagan

Hagan TJ 14: Hagan enters the building, seen inside a surveillance camera on an iPad

Emily PJ 20: Emily wonders into a basement where she finds manikins wearing facial latex masks of her relatives who’ve been missing or killed. She sees a manikin of Teresa

Walter AJ 15: Walter, dressed as the Phantom, dances with Emily. Lights go off and come back up. She finds herself holding Cherimoya’s latex mask staring at the Phantom’s cape on the floor

Emily PJ 21: Emily runs out of the basement and stumbles upon Walter alone in the room

Walter AJ 16: Walter reveals that Hinter is their daughter and tricks Emily to believe that he knows where she is. He confesses his love to her and forces her to undress and get into bed with him

Hagan TG 15: Hagan looks for Emily and walks into the room, seeing Emily in bed with Walter. Speechless, he storms away

Walter AJ 17: Walter reveals that Hagan is the killer and the leader of the cult, who disguises himself as people he kills. He ties up Emily to keep her safe and runs after Hagan to stop him from hurting Hunter

TURNING POINT 3: MAJOR TWIST: Emily finds herself in the middle of the fire and cries for help. Teresa, barely alive, crawls toward Emily and tries to untie her hands. She passes away half way done

ACT 4: Climax. The Ultimate Expression of the Conflict:

Emily PJ 22: Emily manages to escape fire and runs toward a chapel.

Hagan / as Lady Winslet TJ 16: Lady Winslet (Hagan) sits on her wheelchair squeezing an embroidered pillow, tied up, mouth clutched with a clothes

Emily PJ 23: Emily sneaks inside the chapel and approaches the altar blending between the Phantoms dressed in hooded capes in the middle of the ritual with a small body of a person on a pedestal under a bed sheet

Walter /as Hagan AJ 18: Hagan (Walter) sings Gregorian chant, circling the victim under the bed sheet, then orders to commence sacrifice

Emily PJ 24: Emily breaks into the circle of the Phantoms, screaming Hunter’s name, pleading Hagan to stop, trying to save her

Walter/ as Hagan AJ 19: Orders the Phantoms to point swords at the person on a pedestal and catch Emily, then offers her a choice – to kill Lady Winslet or her daughter dies

Emily PJ 25: Emily hesitated, paralyzed by impossible decision, holding a pistol in her trembling hands, aiming at Lady Winslet

Walter/ as Hagan AJ 20: Impatient, screams at Emily a certain word to encourage her

Emily PJ 26: Emily recognizes the word, switches her aim at Hagan (Walter), fires up at him, then drops her pistol in terror

Walter/ as Hagan AJ 21: Hagan (Walter) folds with pain and manages to grab the pistol and shoots at Lady Winslet (Hagan), wounding her, then careens and hits a decrepit pole, which crashes making a huge gap on the floor. Everyone falls into the hole

Emily PJ 27: Emily sees Hunter under a debris, and digs her out, barely alive. Just then, the ceiling of the chapel gives in and collapses, covering everyone with deteriorated planks and dust

Resolution: Their world has changed

Emily PJ 28: In the hospital visits Hagan bound to bed. Lady Winslet’s lawyer comes with announcement that Lady Winslet’s body was never found, which means that no one can inherit the estate. The Lawyer steps out and brings Hunter in. She runs to Hagan calling him Daddy, and proclaiming her love to him

Hagan TJ 17: Hagan whispers words of love to Emily

Emily PJ 29: Emily experiences a vision of her Younger Self dancing with Younger Hagan, where they almost seal their love with a kiss

Epilogue:

Flashback: Evans puts Lady Winslet’s latex mask over Walter’s head, who is in a coffin, making him look like Lady Winslet. He puts Lady Winslet’s pillow into her hands, then discovers something inside it. He rips the pillow apart, and finds an envelope.

Hunter, Hagan and Emily attend Lady Winslet’s funeral. Emily holds Hagan’s hand, and the will in her other hand, where they both are made an equal heir.

[Kevin Cunningham]

Kevin Cunningham’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

My Vision: By making my high-quality writing and speaking known in many venues (the Industry, Youtube, podcasts, books), I will create a reputation as a profoundly powerful, thoughtful, and skilled writer, and be sought after for new and rewrite activities at the highest levels.

What I learned from doing this assignment: After I put the pieces together, there was actually a lot less to do than I thought (at this stage of the process). Normally I would labor over this intensely and “get it all right”, but there’s a solid set of sequences already, which is fine for now.

——

Concept: A woke New England town votes to give their land back to the Native American tribe they stole it from centuries before – putting leadership of the town in the hands of a clueless slacker Native teen

Implicit Concept: Even when they try to help the Natives, the whites can’t help but try to screw them over.

Main Conflict: A slacker Native teen, appointed leader of a town, must overcome his own immaturity and many competing partisan forces to successfully keep the town out of breakdown and bankruptcy, and protect his tribe’s future.

——

Four-Act Structure

Protagonist: Mukki (Native American Teenager)

Antagonist: Drew Fox (Mormon Real Estate Entrepreneur)

Antag Beginning: Mr. Fox is at the top of his game, but his wife lays it down: time to retire and be with family!

Antag Inciting Incident: As a final triumph, Mr. Fox decides to develop town lands into retirement havens, so he can retire there himself.

Deeper Layer: Mr. Fox is actually running a detailed scheme to get possession of the land for himself – to develop a retirement oasis for his wife and family.

Antag Turning Point 1: Mr. Fox’s efforts at Town Hall are rebuffed in no uncertain terms by the woke tree-huggers there.

Antag Act 2: Mr. Fox schemes to get his development – meets with Native builder, undermines town development officer

Act 1:

Protag Beginning: Mukki lazily supports his marginal tribe’s trivial efforts to make money at the Powwow.

Opening:

– Mukki asleep awkwardly on his cot, his mom comes in and urges him to get up (in Native language); Mukki sighs; he reaches for his pants; she shakes her head no; she tosses him colorful native garb; Mukki frowns

– 1970s 8mm footage: 6-year-old Mr. Fox dresses in Indian garb, turns to face other kids, who are dressed as cowboys and move forward menacingly; Mr. Fox swallows hard

– Mukki stumbles toward a crowd of other natives, pulling on his colorful costume awkwardly; tumbles; gets up and races along: joins them just in time as they do a “Grand Entry” — it’s a traditional powwow; in the audience, clueless touristy white folks (including one or two of Mukki’s high school classmates); Mukki stops short as he comes up to Alana, the Powwow Princess — beautiful in her native garb; Mukki is trampled by the tribesmen behind him; he looks up, mud on his face; the white attendees point at him and laugh

– Jessie Masnubic directs a group of high schoolers in an all-white production of a play about Tom Sawyer — Tom, Huck Finn, and Injun Joe — all played by white girls, including Alison Fox as Tom.

– Mukki, humiliated, plays video games, avoids native culture, pines for Powwow Princess.

– Mukki’s native tribe is troubled with opioid addiction, threatening their meager numbers.

– The Fox family prepares for retirement.

– Jessie Masnubic leads a cabal of rabid towsnfolk in a plan for a big push on Town Meeting motions:

1. changing “Selectmen” to “Select Board”

2. changing the state flag (Massachusetts) to get rid of the oppressed Indian image

3. changing “Columbus Day” to “Indigenous People’s Day”

4. whatever else they can get through

Protag Inciting Incident: In school, Mukki’s peers decide to push for Native land recognition

Inciting Incident:

– Urged on by activist highschoolers, Town Meeting puts forward a motion to not only switch from Columbus Day, but to go all the way and turn over their land to the natives.

– The vote is even. Mr. Fox unexpectedly casts the deciding vote – and the motion passes! Everyone is astounded!

Protag Turning Point 1: The Town votes to not only recognize the tribe, but to hand over the land to them!

Antag Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mr. Fox casts the deciding vote in Town Meeting to give the land to the Natives.

Surface Layer: The Town struggles to stand for “what’s right” – i.e., reparations for the conquered Natives. Mr. Fox, influenced by his family-oriented wife and progressive daughter, is finally persuaded to do the right thing and vote for the land exchange. But conservatives in town fight it, and strident Progressives want to go even further, so life is in upheaval.

Turning Point:

– Mukki’s tribe discusses what to do – the grandfather must cope with the opioid crisis.

– The grandfather assigns Mukki to serve as the tribe’s representative – and run the town!

– Mukki is appointed sachem (quickly co-opted to “Mayor”) of the town

Act 2:

Protag Act 2: Mukki is assigned to run the town by his grandfather, who is busy dealing with opioid issues in the tribe.

Reaction (new plan):

– Mukki tries to figure out how the town runs – everybody tries to advise him.

– Mukki decides it isn’t too hard, just run the meetings – but he has no clue how to do this.

Plan in action:

– Mukki doesn’t listen to the town employees, but instead tries to follow all the political groups.

– Mukki at a big meeting fails catastrophically – flails on all the issues.

Deep Story Influences Surface Story: Each sequence of the transfer of land proceeds according to Mr. Fox’s plan, but seems to be the “triumph” of this or that Town group – on one hand, conservatives, at other times, Progressives. Even Mukki thinks he’s being successful for a while, and Mr. Fox’s daughter congratulates him and falls in love with him – but Mr. Fox had arranged that victory too!

Hints: We see Mr. Fox meeting with various people, apparently about unrelated development projects. We know Mr. Fox is in the middle of plans by Mukki and the town, but is mysteriously above the fray; he seems resistant to being a visible leader – is it humility? that would be uncharacteristic…. Certain Town leaders are promoted or canned for obscure reasons, suggesting some kind of behind-the-scenes action. It is unclear by whom!

Protag Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Mukki fails colossally to bring the town together – but things get worse

Midpoint Turning Point:

– The Town Accountant reports: the town is deeply in debt, and will go broke soon if they can’t pay.

– Everyone in town turns against Mukki, fearful for the loss of their homes and their cherished projects.

– Because the natives own the town, the crisis is on them: if they fail, they will lose ALL their land!!

Act 3:

Protag Act 3: Mukki tries “Native ways” to get the town in order

Antag Act 3: Mr. Fox works with Mukki and others to transition the land successfully, while undermining it behind the scenes.

Rethink everything:

– Mukki decides to work with his peers and centrists, rather than the hostile grownups/politicians.

– Mukki turns also to his grandfather to seek out native wisdom, which he’s pooh-poohed his whole life. He awkwardly learns his native heritage; the grandfather rolls his eyes multiple times as he teaches the old ways.

New plan:

– Mukki tries to enact some simple approaches – a bake sale? selfless contributions?

– Mukki decides to work with the town employees and volunteers, who know how to run the town.

– The politicians and townsfolk try to take matters into their own hands – and anarchy ensues.

Protag Turning Point 3: Native ways too fail, but Mukki has to make it work or his tribe loses everything!

Antag Turning Point 3: The Town is desperately broke and the Natives will lose everything: Mr. Fox proposes a casino.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift:

– Mukki and his new allies can’t figure out a way to pay the debts.

– Mr. Fox suggests a path: sell the land for a casino.

– To save the town (and the tribe) from massive debt, they have one choice: to sell off their homeland!

Act 4:

Protag Act 4 Climax: Mukki uses video game skills and his sleuthing friends to discover that Mr. Fox was behind it all.

Antag Act 4 Climax: Mr. Fox is revealed by his own daughter to be the schemer, and Mukki defeats him.

Major Reveal: Mr. Fox’s secret dealings are revealed upon investigation by Mukki and Mr. Fox’s daughter – from a shifty Native construction developer and Mukki’s Grandfather, they find that Mr. Fox intentionally put the land into Native hands, so they could default! Mr. Fox’s daughter confronts her father.

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

– Alison (Fox’s daughter) is at home, forlorn, as her mother gardens. Her mother encourages her to look to the land (Morman Utah land story). “The land? Of course!” Alison has a suspicion and goes with Mukki to confront her father.

– Mukki realizes that Mr. Fox had engineered this whole crisis for his own ends: Mr. Fox owns the company that would make a huge profit out of buying up the land dirt cheap!

– Mukki brings the townsfolk together as a team in the common cause of saving their town. He uses the skills his grandfather taught him — and his video gaming knowledge.

– They discover that, though the colonist’s had stolen the land from his tribe, his tribe had themselves stolen it from another tribe before that. This negates the original transfer to his tribe!

– The town reverts to its previous legal status and picks up where it left off – able to pay its debt.

Protag Resolution: The Historian reveals that the town should really go to a different tribe. Mukki can retire.

Antag Resolution: Mr. Fox lands on his feet anyway – he was rich to begin with!

Changes Reality: Once it’s seen that Mr. Fox is in cahoots with sleazy developers, the whole sequence of action becomes clear. People all have contempt for Mr. Fox (do they burn down his retirement house?) But does Mr. Fox also have a change of heart (when his daughter talks deeply to him) – and arranges to send the sleazes to jail?

Resolution:

– Mukki has taught the town new ways of working together, discovered and valued his native heritage, and found new friends/lovers. Mr. Fox fails to destroy the town for his sneaky business deal. The Powwow Princess steps forward for Mukki, but he takes Alison’s hand (awkwardly?).

[Veronica Turowski]

Veronica Turowski’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

What I learned from doing this assignment is showing the journey helps keep a story from having plot holes and to make sure the story flows. It’s difficult going back and forth between assignments trying to find the journeys, conventions, etc. of my characters. I hope I don’t miss anything.

My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.

Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.

Title: Justice from the Grave

Genre: Supernatural Thriller

ACT 1: Flashes of two men in a church sanctuary struggle with a knife. No faces are shown. One is stabbed in the chest. The other has his arm sliced open.

Hayden AJ 1: Hayden kills Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 1: Lonnie is killed by Hayden.

DEEPER LAYER: Hayden kills Lonnie because he found out he was a serial killer. (Maybe Hayden’s son, Evren, says something to Lonnie.)

Eppsa PJ 1: Eppsa sees the news in the ER as she enters the hallway. It shows Hayden’s a hero trying to save his minister, Lonnie, who was attacked. Eppsa looks at a chart with his name on it. The bed is empty.

INCITING INCIDENT: Eppsa sees Lonnie’s ghostly body. Hayden disposes of a body he has hidden in his ice cream truck while his son is with him.

Eppsa PJ 2: There’s a code blue. Eppsa watches Lonnie exit a room. He looks at her and disappears.

DEEPER LAYER: Lonnie knows that Eppsa is dead, but Eppsa doesn’t know she’s dead.

Eppsa PJ 3: Eppsa goes to Lonnie’s funeral.

Lonnie PJ 2: Lonnie tells Eppsa that since she can see him, he needs her help. He doesn’t remember his attacker, but he knows the name of the next victim.

Hayden AJ 2: Evren, Hayden’s young son, takes money from a customer. Hayden removes an ice cream bar stored next to a dead body in the freezer of his ice cream truck and hands the ice cream to a child. That night, they drive over a bridge. Evren eats ice cream and plays a video game in the front seat while Hayden tosses the body over the bridge.

TURNING POINT 1: Eppsa discovers Lonnie gave her the correct name. Lonnie meets with the victim at the cemetery.

Eppsa PJ 4: In the obituary, Eppsa reads the name of the man Lonnie gave her.

Lonnie PJ 3: Lonnie meets with the ghost of the man in the freezer. They disappear.

ACT 2: Eppsa contacts the police. Lonnie informs Eppsa that the cops should be looking for a serial killer. Hayden goes to the police station to give a composite sketch. Then, he kills another victim.

Eppsa PJ 5: Eppsa calls the police. They have a bad connection, and they tell her to call back. She calls again. It’s staticky. They tell her to come in.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: The cop only hears static because she’s a ghost.

Hayden AJ 3: Hayden gives a statement or does a sketch for the cops at the police station. Hayden lies and claims he chased the man away who killed Lonnie and slashed his arm.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is a good liar and manipulator. People love him.

Eppsa PJ 6: Eppsa is at the busy police station waiting to talk to someone. No one listens to her. She checks her watch. Someone points in her direction and motions her over. (She passes by Hayden in a chair but doesn’t notice him because he’s not facing her and he’s wearing a hat.)

Hayden AJ 4: The cops want to give him an award for being a good Samaritan. He shivers and tells a cop it’s drafty in the station.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: He feels the spirit of his mother.

Eppsa PJ 6: Eppsa hears a cop yell after Hayden for his good work. She turns from the cop that supposedly called her over and rushes after Hayden but misses him.

Lonnie PJ 4: Lonnie sees a girl at a funeral. He must go somewhere or do something (possibly rest because he’s tired), but he wants her to pass a message on to Eppsa.

Eppsa PJ 7: Eppsa goes to a funeral. She speaks to the little girl. (I don’t know if the little girl is alive and can see ghosts or if she’s a ghost, too.) The girl tells Eppsa the name of another victim. Eppsa rushes into the church to find the address of the church member on the computer.

Hayden AJ 5: Hayden argues with a man about their past while the man is on a chair with a rope tied around his neck. Hayden tips the chair. The guy dies. Hayden ducks back into the ice cream truck where Evren is waiting.

Lonnie PJ 5: Lonnie tells the little girl it’s too late. Lonnie disappears, and the little girl goes off with her mom.

Eppsa PJ 8: Eppsa walks up to the front door and knocks. No answer. It’s locked. She goes around back. The door is locked. She looks in the window and sees the man dangling. The man’s wife enters the front door, walks into the kitchen, sees him, and screams. Eppsa runs.

TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Eppsa talks to a psychic. Hayden is looking for his next victim.

Hayden AJ 5: Hayden throws Evren a birthday party. One of the kids invited was Hayden’s friend from school and will be another victim near the end.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden wanted to make sure Evren’s friend’s dad was actually one of his friends from school who had moved back to town.

Eppsa PJ 9: Eppsa turns to Clover to see if Clover can help reveal the name of the serial killer. Clover can’t help her. She channels Lonnie and a few other people.

Lonnie PJ 6: Lonnie talks to Clover while Eppsa is “visiting” Clover. Lonnie has low energy, and Clover can’t hear him very clearly.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Clover can talk to Eppsa and Lonnie because she can channel them. Eppsa has a strong presence on earth because of unfinished business. Lonnie wants to move on and has a foot here and a foot on the other side.

Hayden AJ 6: Hayden and Evren go to the soup kitchen in the ice cream truck.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden’s searching for his next victim.

Eppsa PJ 10: Eppsa hears a crash outside her house. She rushes to see. She calls the police. They can hear her on the phone. She rushes outside to help. There’s a swarm of people and a police siren in the distance. She sees the ghost of a young woman walking away from the accident. The young woman looks at Eppsa and signals her over. Eppsa is afraid. The young girl disappears. Eppsa freaks out and slams her door.

ACT 3: Eppsa discovers Hayden was friends with all the victims and fears he is on the list. Hayden kills another person or two, and his son witnesses one of the killings. Lonnie helps Eppsa realize she’s a ghost.

Eppsa PJ 11: Eppsa attends the funeral of the man she saw hanging.

Lonnie PJ 7: Lonnie sees Eppsa at the funeral. Lonnie tells her that all the victims graduated from the same high school. (They are all 29 and 30 when they died.)

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Eppsa realizes they all went to school with Hayden. She must protect him from the serial killer.

Hayden AJ 7: Hayden takes Evren fishing. He makes Evren kill the fish he caught. Don’t let the fish suffer. He tells Evren that sometimes it’s okay to kill.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Hayden is grooming Evren.

Eppsa PJ 12: She talks to Clover trying to get answers and find Hayden before he becomes a victim of the serial killer. She also wants to speak to her dead husband, thinking he might be able to help her.

Lonnie PJ 8: Lonnie wants to go to the other side. He’s pulled back and forth. He’s tired.

Hayden AJ 8: Hayden receives a Good Samaritan award.

TURNING POINT 3: Eppsa is depressed. She discovers she has a grandson.

Eppsa PJ 13: Eppsa goes to church to pray. She sees a woman cry while praying. The woman looks at her. They talk. The woman takes her to her grandson’s gravesite. Her grandson was born the same year as her son and died the year before their high school graduation. The woman wants to find the killer because she knows her grandson didn’t kill himself. Eppsa recognizes the picture of the kid on the headstone in his letterman jacket.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: This was Hayden’s first victim in high school. All the victims and Hayden were exceptional soccer players.

Lonnie AJ 8: Lonnie tells Eppsa the serial killer is Hayden. She can’t believe it.

Hayden AJ 9: Hayden kills another victim who is a homeless man that attends the soup kitchen.

Eppsa PJ 14: Eppsa is at the church. She is depressed and worried. She talks to the minister, Palmer McKee.

Hayden AJ 10: Hayden and Evren make their rounds in the ice cream truck. They park across the street from the church where Eppsa sees them.

Eppsa PJ 15: Eppsa calls and runs after Hayden and Evren, but she can’t catch up. This is when she discovers she has a grandson.

Lonnie PJ 9: Lonnie talks to Clover, who tells him he must tell Eppsa the truth.

ACT 4: Eppsa learns she’s a ghost and was murdered by her husband. She forces Hayden to kill himself.

Eppsa PJ 16: Eppsa talks to Lonnie.

Lonnie PJ 10: Lonnie takes Eppsa to her gravesite and shows her the headstone where she and her husband are buried.

Hayden AJ 11: Hayden kills someone. Evren sees. Hayden explains it’s okay and that he will understand better when he’s an adult.

Eppsa PJ 17: Eppsa returns home. The house is dilapidated. She calls Hayden on the phone and tells her to come home.

Hayden AJ 12: Hayden goes to his old house. Eppsa reveals herself. She forces him to kill himself.

Resolution: Eppsa and Lonnie pass over. Hayden dies and leaves his wife and son (who was being groomed to turn into a serial killer as an adult).

[Jane Turville]

Jane’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

MY VISION: I will make my living as a screenwriter by selling my own narrative scripts and successfully fulfilling writing assignments.

By doing this assignment I was able to bring together so many thoughts I’ve had about what this story actually is. I found the ones that work okay and a lot that didn’t. I also found all of the holes that need filling. Loved doing this process and excited to start it again for the next layer.

Genre: Murder Mystery Parody

Act 1: Who is the world’s greatest detective?

June PJ 1: June Marvel moves into Shady Acres Nursing Center to recuperate from hip surgery.

Percival PJ 1: Percival Heriot, a world renowned detective has also moved into Shady Acres to rest after a long, difficult murder investigation.

Percival PJ 2: Percival quickly becomes a star attraction at Shady Acres, with all the residents hanging on his every word as he tells stories of murder and intrigue.

June PJ 2: June quickly tires of the attention Percival seems to demand. Then a resident’s diamond pendent goes missing. While Percival has a nap in his room, June solves the case and receives the admiration of the residents.

Deep Layer: Percival is busy writing what sounds like a love letter but he is actually writing the latest edition of the Aunt Lily Advice column.

Percival PJ 3: Unable to be bested by anyone, especially June, Percival publicly dismisses June’s sleuthing abilities as amateurish.

Inciting Incident – June responds by challenging him to a competition. Each must commit a small crime – no one gets hurt and no property is damaged – and the other one must solve it in a weekend. Self-assured, Percival takes the challenge and the competition commences. The staff and rest of the residents place bets and encourage their particular champion. It’s a Billy Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs battle of the sexes!!

Percival PJ 4: For his crime, Percival enlists the help of Major Perkins, an elderly permanent resident, Shady Acres gardener Markus, and Frances, the physical therapist. One of these individuals will steal the championship darts from the Shady Acres darts team and hold them ransom. The others he will set up as red herrings to distract June.

June PJ 3: For her crime, June enlists the help of the Riddles, an elderly couple who live on the grounds and help in the kitchen and garden and Eloise, a kind but dotty permanent resident who has fallen in love with Percival. Eloise will disappear as if she were kidnapped and it will be up to Percival to find her.

Deep Layer: June builds Eloise a lovely stick blind where she can hide and watch all the fun.

Turning point – The challenge begins on Friday night. On Saturday morning, Frances is found dead on the center’s treadmill. She has been murdered with the championship darts.

Act 2: Who on earth would want to kill me?

Percival PJ 5: Percival doesn’t understand why Frances has the darts. She was one of his red herrings.

June PJ 4: June accuses Percival of setting Frances up. Did he have reason to kill her?

Deep Layer: June has been keeping tabs on how much time Percival spends napping.

Percival PJ 6: Percival discovers that Eloise is missing. When June looks for her where she is supposed to be, she isn’t there. Percival accuses June of endangering Eloise.

Mattie AJ 1: Mattie joins the center on Monday morning as the replacement physical therapist. Both June and Percival have appointments with her that day. She “accidently” turns the traction machine on high for Percival. She apologizes profusely.

Deep Layer: She enjoys hurting Percival.

June PJ 5: June works to find Eloise while also seeking evidence against Percival. Some red flags pop up but, because they don’t implicate Percival, she ignores them.

Mattie AJ 2: Mattie takes Percival a gift to say she is sorry for the traction mistake. Percival is touched by her generosity and begins to confide in her, telling her that he thinks June is trying to set him up for murder. He tells her about being bullied as a child and his fear of confined spaces.

Deep Layer: Mattie realizes that going to jail would be worse than death for Percival. She rethinks her plan.

June PJ 6: June enlists the help of her niece Flora to help her find Eloise and discovers that Eloise is not the dotty, innocent lady she appears to be. Could she be the murderer? Resolved that it is Percival’s fault, she ignores the evidence that links Eloise to Frances’ death.

Percival PJ 7: As he looks for clues to clear his name, Percival stumbles on a clandestine plant theft ring orchestrated by Markus. Could Markus be the murderer? Too focused on clearing his name and shining light on June’s supposed crimes, he ignores the evidence.

Mattie AJ 3: Concerned that the murder and disappearance of Eloise is harming June’s progress and Percival’s health, Mattie sits them down together and tells them to leave these things to the police. In their conversation, she mentions the old ice-house as a place that the police may not have looked. She watches June and Percival leave the main building and head for the ice-house.

Percival PJ 8: At the ice-house Percival is afraid to go in.

June PJ 6: June tries but can’t get through the door with her walker. She is disappointed as Percival, obviously terrified, enters the ice-house.

Deep Layers: Percival’s worst fears and June’s frustration that, once again, she is on the outside looking in.

June PJ 9: Inside Percival freezes. Outside, June spots something on the domed roof of the ice-house and investigates. She recognizes it as something belonging to Percival. When she goes to pick it up, the roof caves in.

June PJ 10: She finds Percival unharmed but terrified by the small space. (Walker blocks a beam from falling on them). Brick by brick, June claws her way out, making space for Percival to scamper out.

Midpoint Turning Point – Outside they observe the crushed ice-house and realize that the roof beams have been recently sawn. The roof cave in was orchestrated by someone who wanted to kill one or both of them.

Act 3: How to Catch a Killer.

Mattie AJ 4: Mattie is shocked by the news and tells June it’s lucky she wasn’t killed. The assumption that June would be the one in the ice-house is over-looked.

June PJ 11: June tells Percival about Eloise’s past, a gambling addiction that landed her in hot water more times than can be counted. June asks her niece to check all gambling houses within a ten mile radius. Eloise is found at the crap tables.

Percival PJ 9: In his room, Percival creates a crime board. He invites June to examine it with him. As June examines the crime board, she realizes that everyone around them has a secret to be discovered. They hatch a plan to one by one eliminate each suspect.

Mattie AJ 5: During a PT session June says that everyone has something to hide, even though Mattie insists that she doesn’t.

June PJ 13: Another attempt is made on June’s life with evidence that Percival is trying to kill June. The incident happens when Percival is “napping” in his room. June and Percival finally realize that the crime is to kill June and have Percival convicted of her murder. They just can’t see how Frances’ murder plays into it.

Percival PJ 10/June PJ 14: Together they go back over everything that has happened since they arrived. How did they both come to be at Shady Acres? Who recommended it? They know something is there but they just can’t put their finger on it.

June PJ 15: June hatches a plan by which she will appear to have died. June has a wonderful knowledge of chemistry and knows of a potion she can make which will make her appear dead. With her out of the way, the killer’s plan will fall though. She shares her plan with Percival.

Percival PJ 11: Percival is totally against it. He lists the ways it could go wrong. No, his little grey cells have been working. June leaves frustrated.

June PJ 16: June elicits the help of Major Perkins. She takes the powder and “dies” during afternoon tea. Major Perkins pronounces her dead.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – With June laid out on the sofa, Percival sits and talks with her alone. Mattie enters and gives him a cup of tea. She tells Percival that June can’t hear him. She’s dead. Percival says no, she took a powder to appear dead in order to trap the killer. Mattie tells him that she switched the powders and that June took a lethal dose of digitalis instead.

Act 4: Oh no you don’t!

Percival PJ 12: He is horrified. June, his best adversary, his prodder, his friend. Dead.

Deeper Layer: Percival’s humanity and emotion. He truly cared about June.

Mattie AJ 6: Mattie tells him that she’s called the police and they’re on their way. But in his grief of what he has done to his friend, he will take his own life. To ensure this happens, the tea she gave him contained poison.

June PJ 17: Mattie goes to leave. June sits up quickly and throws her book at Mattie, clocking her in the head and knocking her out. As they wait for the police, June tells Percival that Mattie is the daughter of someone who took advice from Aunt Lily years ago and died. Mattie blamed Aunt Lily for taking her mother from her.

Deep Layer: June has worked out the mystery and has actively stopped the murderer in her tracks and saved Percival’s life. She has proved to herself that she is indeed an action hero.

Percival PJ 13: Percival realizes that June knows he is Aunt Lily. He also knows that she will keep his secret.

Deep Layer: Percival has found a kindred spirit and a friend who accepts him for who he is.

Resolution – Over tea, the two sleuths tell the others why Frances was killed. June twists the circumstances so that no one knows that Percival is Aunt Lily. Residents sigh with relief because, not only has the killer been caught, but their own secrets seem to be safe. June and Percival leave the nursing center at the same time, parting ways as comrades in arms and, maybe, just maybe, friends.

[Kevin Patrick Goulet]

Module 4, Lesson 3

Kevin Patrick Goulet’s – Beat Sheet – Draft 1

In for a Penny, In for a Pound (my Bio-Pic about Vince Guaraldi).

…My vision: Come away with an indelible screenplay writing method, complete all screenplays, PRO/story-telling level quality, sales/production, a ‘flow’ of screenwriting opportunities… Rinse and repeat.

(‘Other’ Work hours > put me way behind; catching up this week).

…What I learned: Not happy with what I’ve put together here… Does not feel kid I completed the assignment as needed. Getting bogged down in this draft for some reason… addition of the PJ/AJ abbreviations… some weird discrepancies in the last two module/assignments the verbiage (explanation of just what to do) somewhat confusing… not sure who this kind of stuff is hanging me up (been pinched for hours lately) … doing my best to muddle through…

However, a conflict exists here- regarding having only a single Protagonist in this/my Bio-Pic Story. That main Protagonist character (Vince Guaraldi’s Father ‘Vincent’) is not as present throughout the story as I would like him to be… He steps in and out of His Son’s world randomly… yet He is a source of constant anguish for son Vince. I see his decisions effecting son VINCE at every turn… does that ‘fly’?

Also, Vince’s Mother re-marries (not long after her first divorce from Vincent Dellaglio). This man’s name: Tony Guaraldi. He adopts Vince -age 5- and gives him the last name GUARALDI, but then pays almost no attention to him. It isn’t long before this marriage fails too, leaving Vince to grow up without a Father at home. Instead, Vince is raised by his Mother, Grandmother and -with some input from his Mom’s brothers- Uncles Joe and Maurice ‘Muzzy” Marcello. Will need to work at with these transactional moments of Vince having multiple Fathers, last names to best serve the story without omitting pertinent facts.

There are other characters that could also be considered ‘Antagonists’ too. Besides the “Protagonist and Antagonist” in a screenplay, there are other types of key ‘characters’ that also shape the narrative: Attractors, Mentors & Tricksters to name some- and they must also be considered.

FINDING DOCTOR FUNK Pianist VINCE GUARALDI, originator of LINUS AND LUCY music for Charles Schulz PEANUTS Animated television specials- lived a far, too brief 47 years. This is his story.

Genre: Drama/Bio-Pic.

ACT 1: Beginning: Born July 17, 1928. (PJ): Vince (age 4) lying on a throw rug in his Mom’s house listening to music of the day (1932) Dizzy Gillespie, Duke Ellington, Irving Berlin, Artie Shaw

Receives merit badges in Boy Scouts…

Sees parents’ combustible marriage imploding.

(AJ): Father Vincent walk out.

Mother Carmella ex-communicated from Church/Parrish; Vince expelled from grade school too.

Vince’s Professional musician Uncles’ Joe & ‘Muzzy’ Marcellino heavily influence Vince’s interest in music.

(PJ): (Jump to) — Winter, 1964. Vince now at his best, head-lining at SF Jazz Club. Simultaneously- TV Producer Lee Mendelson hears Guaraldi song “Cast Your Fate to the Wind” on car radio.

Cab driver informs Lee Mendelson “that’s Dr. Funk” … just happens to be playing in the city that night … Mendelson rushes to Club- walks in, sees Vince aka Doctor Funk’ – ‘owning the room’, the crowd completely into it!

Inciting Incident: Still 1964 – Lee introduces himself to Vince during a ‘Set’ break, tells VG how much ‘he loves “Cast Your Fate…” wants Vince to compose music for upcoming PEANUTS (Heretofore a newspaper comic strip only) animated program for broadcast television.

Turning Point 1: (PJ): [flashback moment – June 1946 – Vince wins H.S. Talent contest = 1st prize: his first real paying ‘gig’ (High School Senior) Summer resort/commissioned ‘gig’ in Yosemite… 1946.

(PJ): And just as quickly, Vince receives draft papers for the Korean War- deploys in September, 1946].

Act 2: (PJ): Drafted: Korean War- September, 1946. Vince Is a Cook in the Army. He locates an old piano on the base, forms a pick-up band. Stuck in the Mess Hall as a ‘Cook’, Vince manages to entertain fellow troops w/pickup band. Even plays for General Douglas MacArthur… who helps get Vince out of Korea to pursue Musical ambitions.

(PJ): 20 yr. old Vince returns from Korean War, 1948. He enrolls in music study at S.F. State (short lived).

(PJ): Struggles through part-time jobs… (1949) Works (for a day) at San Francisco Chronicle as a ‘Printer’s Devil’ – handles sheets of newsprint on the giant machine basement of building, Vince nearly looses a finger.

(AJ): Vincent offers Vince job as an assistant mason (brick-layer).

(PJ): Vince watches great Jazz musicians at area night clubs, studying their every move.

(PJ): One night a band member (piano player) ‘no shows’ at a club where Vince is watching from the ‘front row’.

(PJ): Vince is recognized by the band leader… gets the ‘nod’ from band leader to ‘sit-in’. Club owner: impressed. Recommends Vince for a gig at another place… An even bigger club.

Vince hears ‘bigger club’ :: thinks he’s off to the races!

(PJ): Turns out he will play piano in the ‘lobby’ covering standards of the day. (It is where he will be paid the off-handed ‘compliment’ about playing a tune almost as good as the guy who made it famous’ which is a light bulb moment for Vince.

But it begins his true ascent into world of professional music.

‘Gets-to-work’ at becoming a professional musician.

(PJ): Vince putting in his time playing when & where ever; some are decent, some are dumps: college campus halls/students, the dingy clubs/last guy to play at 2am after stripper’s show end. (…montage…?)

Vince and Shirley Moskowitz marry – Feb. 1, 1953.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint:

(PJ): Vince gets first big break Break: Established latin Jazz musician ‘Cal Tjader brings Vince onboard as his Pianist.

(PJ): 1959 Monterey Jazz Festival – Cal Tjader’s Quintet. With Cal, Buddy DeFranco (Clarinet), Mongo Santamaria (Congos), Willie Bobo (Timbales) and Vince Guaraldi on piano.

Ralph Gleason renowned Jazz columnist of ‘The San Francisco Chronicle’ takes an interest in local Bay Area player Guaraldi.

(PJ): Vince Guaraldi Wins the GRAMMY (1963) for original composition, CAST YOUR FATE TO THE WIND”; locked out of Hollywood Award ceremony -because he had No tuxedo!

Act 3: 1962 (?) Gretchen Katamay enters the bar -and Vince’s Life. (PJ): Vince plays Monterey Jazz Festival with Cal Tjader – brings the house down.

(PJ): About this time- Children- (Son) David and (daughter) Dia are born; early/mid 1960’s

(PJ): Vince’s Grammy Winning song -Cast Your Fate To The Wind- is heard by Television Producer LEE MENDELSON, who then ‘finds’ Guaraldi playing a live gig in S.F. area club… offers VG the PEANUTS Music gig.

(PJ): Vince meets LEE MENDELSON (scene) -offer to compose score for TV special.

Turning Point 3: Guaraldi composes ‘Linus and Lucy’

(PJ): Vince plays LINUS AND LUCY over the telephone for Lee Mendelson. Mendelson “No” but Vince insists worried he’ll forget it. Mendelson loves the song quips, ‘’it’s going to be very special’’.

(AJ?) CBS brass harshly criticize Guaraldi’s completed musical contributions to “A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS” animated television special at screening a week before network debut.

(*AJ?): Brass are soon embarrassed beyond reproach by how wrong they were and how ‘off-the-charts’ successful Animated special is… How ‘well received’ Grammy Winner Guaraldi’s music is in the public eye.

Shirley files for divorce, April 1966. … Shirley files for divorce a second time, June 1968. … Shirley & Vince’s divorce finalized, December 1970.

Act 4: (PJ): Porsche 356’s (Vince & drummer Jerry Granelli) rippin’ through the streets of San Francisco!

(PJ): While Vince recognizes and enjoys the Rock-n-Roll, he discusses ‘the British Invasion’ -cites it as the ‘nail-in-the- coffin‘ of (then) modern Jazz, while talking with His band- mates.

(PJ):Vince goes another direction with his music, instrument choices… (Electric Piano, electric guitar, electric bass)…

(PJ): Vince creates altogether different sound (a twist) on/to his compositions (he is a true Artist in that regard)…

(PJ): though his desire to stay current, and one day write (radio) industry jazz standards -not (just) hits- never leaves him.

Act 4 / Climax: (AJ): ’Set’ break at Club where Vince is performing. Vince’s Father Vincent- bragging to some younger ladies about his now famous, very successful Son.

(AJ): Vince approaches, confronts his Father, who then tries to ‘make nice’ / give impression He and Vince are close. Vince will have none of it; tells his father to get the fuck out of ‘his’ Club.

(AJ): Vince’s Father Vincent (Story Antagonist) dies 1971.

Resolution: Menlo Park, CA – Jazz Club ‘BUTTERFIELD’S’ Feb. 6,1976. Oddly, the very last song Vince ever plays is in public; THE BEATLES ‘Eleanor Rigby’.

(PJ): After the song ends Vince walks over to THE RED COTTAGE INN where he and the band have a room to stretch out & relax in between sets (standard fare).

(PJ): Between sets Vince walking across the hotel room collapses, suffering a fatal heart attack.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Kevin Patrick Goulet.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  Kevin Patrick Goulet.

[Joseph McGloin]

Joe McGloin’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

Vision: I am a talented, highly regarded, efficient, relaxed, happy, WGA screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is it’s easier than I imagined it would be to pull those 5 elements together in one cohesive outline. The process illuminated a weakness near the climax it would have been hard to see without the process.

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Act 1: Max receives his assignment

Opening: PJ1 1 Max in Heaven is shown potential guardian angel assignments.

PJ2 1 Jane is independent and shy local level political aide.

Deeper Layer: Jane’s life mission is important so Max can’t mess it up

Inciting Incident: PJ 1 2 Despite his protests, Max is assigned to Jane.

PJ2 2 Jane feels his dismay as a cold wind without knowing its source.

AJ1 Guardian Angel Supervisor Clarence feels a more senior Angel is needed for the assignment due to the big stakes, but he is overruled.

PJ1 3: Max visits her at work as the recently hired temp (who no one knew was coming or who hired him), surreptitiously interferes with her activities to gauge her response.

PJ2 3: Jane counters Max’s interference at each turn, turning each incident to her advantage.

Turning Point 1: Back in Heaven, AJ2 Clarence decides to let Max fail by giving him no support while Max watches Jane’s co-workers manipulate her into being the fall guy for a poorly written bill.

Act 2: Max doesn’t handle the assignment well.

New plan: PJ1 4 Max accepts the role on a temporary basis, until he can clear her of the impending danger.

PJ2 4 At first Jane tries to run from the situation by deciding to resign from her position as she feels out of control.

PJ2 5 She rewrites the bill at the last minute with help from an aide.

PJ1 5 Max’s requests for help from Clarence go unanswered as Jane is on mission.

PJ2 6 the re-written bill passes and Jane is a hero, catching her co-workers flat-footed.

PJ1 6 Max as her aide disagrees with the new bill that is not as good as it appears. The two fight about the bill. Max is frustrated but not defeated and has a dawning respect for Jane’s take charge approach.

Deeper Layer Reveal: AJ 3 Clarence and the heavenly bodies face a growing concern at humanity’s self-destruction and what steps to take as the Guardian Angels are having decreasing success with humanity.

Midpoint Turning Point: Max has to wear a human body full time to curb his interfering tendencies as Jane is catapulted into the national limelight when her boss is arrested for vote tampering.

Act 3: Falling in love

Rethink everything: PJ1 7 Max is promoted to political aide.

PJ2 8 Jane deals with the cut-throat realities of national politics in surprisingly humane and non-political ways.

PJ1 8 Max struggles with allowing life for Jane to unfold, which

AJ4 softens Clarence as he has a growing, grudging respect for Max. Max’s role is made easier when

PJ2 9 Jane’s political advisor has a sudden health crisis and she appoints Max in his place before he leaves the interview room.

PJ1 9 Their attraction grows. Max is conflicted as he loses his objectivity as her guardian angel.

PJ1 10 Max helps Jane while not trying to hover over her or he will be permanently extracted.

AJ 5 Clarence watching Max closely, looking for a reason to pull the plug.

PJ2 10 Jane realizes she needs warm human contact (Max) to balance the downright inhuman politicians she is now forced to deal with, to help her see her constituents as more than a herd.

Turning Point: Max realizes but can’t share that it is his love for Jane makes him lose his objectivity so he resigns as Jane’s aide, causing them to break up.

Act 4

AJ6 Clarence agrees that angels and humans live in different realms, so Max should return to Heaven

so a new guardian angel can be assigned to Jane .

AJ7 There remains a great deal of concern for humanity itself, and its survival in these troubled times, but Jane seems to be the key figure.

PJ2 11 The night before the election Jane fights back against the false scandal over which she has little control, and turns the tables on her boss’s foes so the boss becomes President with Jane as VP.

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: PJ1 11 Max lets go of all of his desires to shape her future – that is what love does. so she is free to explore her life as Presidential aide – that is what love does.

PJ1 12 Max dies to return to heaven so another Guardian Angel can be appointed.

PJ2 12 Jane threatens to resign over the death.

AJ 8 C3larence must find a way to keep her on mission in politics.

Deeper Level Reveal: Jane must become President to fulfill her mission to bring honesty to politics and face the climate crisis head-on.

Resolution: AJ 9 Clarence has pushed a plan to allow humans and angels to interact with Max as the test case.

PJ1 13 Max returns to his body. Only a moment has passed since his departure.

PJ1 14 Max tells her there is something she needs to know about him…

[Joaquin Gray]

Joaquin “Ibn Gray’s” Beet Sheet – Draft 1

My vision is that I am an A plus screen writer, writing screenplay that get produced into extremely profitable movies which I benefit financially from.

“What I learned from doing this assignment is following beets give you the flow of the screen play?

4-Act Structure – Act 1 PJS Opening, family rides across an open plain in 1863. Family arrives to new house 1865

AJS Clyde is in town speaking with the Sheriff then gets word a new family has arrived in town. Clyde sits to play the piano.

AJS II: Clyde tells his men to go bring him somebody.

PJS II: Son gets kid napped by local townsmen.

TP: Brewford rides into town and confronts Clyde about his son missing. Brewford sniffs out the lie Clyde tells.

Act 2 Reaction: PJS: Brewford attempts to attack Clyde but fails.

AJS Reaction: Calm cool and collected as his me handle the light work.

PJS The plan: Go back to town a gather some troops.

AJS The plan: Returns to the plantation to train his horses.

PJS Turning point 2: While gathering troops Brewford’s daughter is kidnapped.

AJS Turning point 2: Has a moment realizing what Brewford did, so he sends word to kidnap Brewford’s daughter.

Act 3 PJS The Women of the town take Brewford to meet a few ex-soldiers.

AJS Prepares to possibly be visited by Brewford.

PJS New Plan: The ex-soldiers agree to help Brewford rescue his children, some of their Children have been kidnapped also by Clyde.

PJS Midpoint: Before they leave to fight a few of their horses go missing.

Act 4 PJS The women mount up and ride the men onto the plantation and fight alongside them.

AJS Clyde meets Brewford toe to toe for a fight.

PJS Brewford and Clyde square off face to face, they fight and Brewford kills him. The children are let out of captivity by the women. The US Calvery rides into town declaring slavery against the law.

Genre Conventions – Western

Joaquin “Ibn Gray”

[John Trimbach]

John T’s Beat Sheet Draft 1

Vision: to become a reliable box office success and entertain audiences all over the place.

What I learned doing this assignment is that a beat sheet can grow extensive but can be solved like a puzzle plugging in the easy ones first.

Act 1:
Opening – Phil attends the b-day for his adopted niece, Megan, who lives down the street. Pilots and Flight Attendants celebrate her new job as a flight attendant, a job Phil helped her get.

Turning Point 1: Phil interviewed by FBI agent Ben who considers Phil a suspect.

Act 2

Phil goes back to work, on his regular route, greeted by FA’s Rhonda, Louise, and Georgia, all of whom express their sympathy and try to cheer him up on a layover. Phil meets a flight attendant from another airline and has a drink with her.

Midpoint Turning Point – Phil discovers the body of the FA from a different airline in her hotel room, the door left ajar. Murdered the same way as Megan,.

Phil -is questioned by the police and later by FBI agent Ben.

Phil finds out the suspect he chased was caught and released.
Phil puzzled by a similar murder so soon after Megan’s death. He makes a file analyzing the two murders. Phil suspects that Agent Ben is tapping his phone, misinterpreting his conversations. Ben comes to Phil’s house. Phil slips out the back

While on a trip, Phil’s home is searched by Ben – he finds Phil’s file.

Phil checks into a hotel room and with Louise’s help, goes on another weekly trip with the same group of flight attendants.
Plan in action – Phil figures out the killers’s MO and where the next murder is likely to take place.

Act 3:
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift –
Another layover murder – the killer must be an airline person. Phil arrives too late.

Ben looks for Phil. Tipped off by Louise, Phil goes underground. Ben almost catches Phil on the run. Louise helps him ellude Ben.

Inciting Incident – Two nights later, we see Megan knifed by an unknown attacker. She’s found murdered. Phil promises Megan’s mother that he will not rest until the killer is caught. Phil chases a burglar suspect in his neighborhood, loses him.

– Phil decides he must vindicate himself by solving the murders and clear his name.

Flashback: An unidentified boy is abused by his father, made to dress up like a girl. Who is the boy?

Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict –
Shaken by the killings, he seeks the comfort of Louise and her friend. Phil drives to the friends apartment. Phil shows up, sees the friend tied up. Tipped off by Rhonda. Ben goes to the friend’s apartment. Thinking he’s the killer, Ben shoots Phil. The masked killer stabs Ben. Phil charges, wig and mask fall off – it’s Louise aka Lewis. Phil musters all his energy, charges Lewis . They both go over the edge. Phil lands on the lower floor balcony, hanging on for dear life. Same for Lewis – he tells Phil he killed the girls so they could be together. Phil kicks Lewis’ hand – he falls to his death.

Resolution – we now see the boy forced to dress up like a girl that we thought was Phil or Ben was really Lewis. Phil visits Ben in the hospital. Ben heals, gets promoted. Phil regarded as a hero, learns to appreciate life. Ready for a new relationship.

[Linda Kish]

Linda’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.

What I learned doing this assignment is using this approach makes outlining much easier and it is significantly elevated from a typical first draft outline.

Genre: Action Thriller

P = Protagonist Journey

A = Antagonist Journey

R = Red Herring Journey

Act 1: Joaquin is summoned to cartel HQ and subject to anonymous threats against him and his family.

Joaquin PJ 1: Joaquin is working in a drug factory when Dante comes for him and his family – summoned by the drug lord to cartel headquarters.

Dante RJ 1: A friend of Joaquin’s warns him that going with Dante means death. Dante executes the friend.

Dante RJ 2: Dante is taken aback by Isabel’s beauty (Joaquin’s daughter) and Joaquin makes her cover up.

Deeper Layer: Dante is the heir apparent to be drug lord and red herring to who is terrorizing Joaquin’s family.

Dante RJ 3: Tomas (Joaquin’s son) is taking target practice when they arrive to get him. Dante watches him shoot, he repeatedly hits the target.

Joaquin PJ 2: Camila, Joaquin’s wife is fearful. Joaquin warns his children to do what he taught them, keep their heads down. Has Tomas memorize the number of a distant cousin across the border and to call him if anything happens to Joaquin.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin will need the help of the distant cousin.

Arturo AJ 1: Arturo greets them at HQ. Intrigue between him and Camila – they have a history. Doesn’t like how she looks at her husband with love, admiration and fear for him. Arturo catches Dante unable to keep his eyes off Isabel. Remarks that she looks just like Camila did at her age – hard for a man to walk away from that. Remarks that he hears Tomas is ambitious and wants to prove himself to the cartel.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is in love with Camila. They dated until he started rising in the cartel and showed his true colors. Arturo blames Joaquin and believes he can win back Camila if he proves Joaquin is no better than him.

Joaquin PJ 3: Dante escorts them to their accommodations. On the wall, “you won’t be protected forever Joaquin.” Dante promises he’ll find out who did it.

Inciting Incident: Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces he is dying and there is a competition for his succession starting at sun up. He made a promise to Joaquin’s father – who was Rodrigo’s bodyguard for years and died protecting him – that he’d protect him. No longer possible from the grave, but brought him here to introduce him to competitors so he can secure a good position in the new organization.

Deeper Layer: Joaquin is going to compete.

Joaquin PJ 4: In front of Arturo, Rodrigo puts Joaquin down for not being strong enough to lead, he had hoped he could be his successor, but not possible.

Arturo AJ 3: Arturo empathizes with Joaquin as they walk away. Encourages him to enter the competition.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is going to do everything he can to get Joaquin to enter the competition. Only way Joaquin can protect himself and his family is if he wins the competition and becomes drug lord.

Arturo AJ 4: Uses the underground tunnels to get in the residence to watch Camila without her seeing him.

Joaquin PJ 5: Kids tell Joaquin they saw a figure in the house.

Joaquin PJ 6: An old friend tells Joaquin they are all in trouble – Dante will likely win and he is brutal; Luis, his brother will rape every woman in the community; Arturo is a wild card who has hallucinations so you always have to be on-guard. Begs him to talk to Rodrigo and get him to appoint a less threatening drug lord.

Dante RJ 4: Joaquin stumbles into a conversation between Dante and Tomas about joining the cartel. Joaquin tells Tomas he’s been working on a plan to get him into college in the US. Tomas doesn’t want to go, get into a fight and he lashes out at his dad – how can he expect Tomas to leave when he never left himself.

Arturo AJ 5: An anonymous letter is delivered to Isabel telling her when he wins, he’ll take her as his wife. Arturo is out of town and it sounds like Dante wrote the letter.

Deeper Layer: Arturo is luring Joaquin into the competition by making him fearful of Dante, while also avoiding Camila knowing that he is the one terrorizing her family.

Joaquin P6: Seeks information about the point system and competitors. He tells Rodrigo he is entering the competition. Rodrigo says that’s a death sentence.

TP 1: Joaquin enters the competition to become the next drug lord.

ACT 2: Joaquin struggles with his morals as he tries to navigate the competition without crossing lines he can’t live with.

Dante RJ 5: Dante kills two of the biggest local threats to their drug trade, generating the first big points of the competition.

Joaquin PJ 7: Camila begs Joaquin to back out of the competition – he can’t win because he won’t compromise his morals.

Arturo AJ 6: In the cantina, Dante stops talking as Joaquin walks by. Arturo taunts Joaquin by questioning what Dante is hiding, mentioning his interest in Isabel. Warns him that if anyone else wants to win, they will have to kill Dante.

Joaquin PJ 8: Joaquin does something to try to get points without compromising his morals, but it fails to gain points.

Arturo AJ 7: Arturo has a hallucination and almost kills Joaquin and Tomas.

Deeper Level: Arturo fakes his hallucinations to torment and get away with it.

Dante RJ 6: Convinces competitors to drop out and he’ll give them promotions in his organization when he takes over.

Joaquin PJ 9: Rodrigo summons Joaquin. Is pissed more of his crew aren’t racking up points – for his infamy they all need to participate. Wants to know if Joaquin knows why, which he does, but he doesn’t want to tell Rodrigo b/c it helps him limit the number of competitors.

Arturo AJ 8: Camila asks Arturo about Dante, is afraid for her daughter. Arturo feeds into her fear – he takes what he wants and no one will stop him.

Joaquin PJ 10: Joaquin blows up a neighboring cartel’s drug lab (in middle of the night when no one is there – maintaining his morals) gaining his first significant points. Impressing Rodrigo to a degree and becoming a target of competitors.

Dante RJ 7 and Arturo AJ 8: The big board of points is updated and Dante and Arturo are way ahead of Joaquin.

Arturo AJ 10: Arturo conspires with one of his men to force Joaquin to cross his moral boundaries.

Mid-Point: Joaquin is backed into a corner and must kill or be killed. He makes his first kill and more points.

ACT 3: Joaquin battles to win points.

Arturo AJ 11: Arturo makes sure Camila knows Joaquin committed murder.

Joaquin PJ 11: Joaquin sees Luis sexually harass Isabel, which Arturo set up – he wants Dante and Luis out of the competition so they can kill each other or Joaquin kills them, he doesn’t care.

Joaquin PJ 12: Joaquin follows Luis, finds he is in bed with the neighboring cartel. Kills him and other cartel members. Earning significant points and seemingly making him a bigger target of Dante’s.

Deeper Layer: Dante hated his brother…

Dante RJ 8 & Arturo AJ 9: Stakes are raised as Joaquin is a serious threat to win. They take more brutal actions regaining the lead.

Joaquin PJ 13: Tells his family he know what he needs to do to win, but has to leave town to execute it. Tells Tomas his father wanted him to leave the cartel, but he was too scared, they fought about it the day his father was killed. It was his fault his father was distracted. Tomas is right, he’s always been too afraid, but he’s not anymore, he’s fighting to get his family out.

Joaquin PJ 14: Distant cousin arranged help for him to get across the border.

Joaquin PJ 15: Joaquin crosses paths with smugglers and gets caught in the chase through an underground tunnel. Firing at him.

Joaquin PJ 16: Distant cousin calls to say Joaquin never made it to his house. She didn’t know he was going to US. Tries to reach him, but no answer.

Arturo AJ 12: Arturo conspiring with his team. Isabel overhears him say he is going to kill her father.

Arturo AJ 13: Isabel tells Camila. Tomas wants to kill Arturo. Camila says she knows how to get Arturo to change his mind and not to worry, she’ll take care of it.

Joaquin PJ 17: Rodrigo announces he’s cutting competition short: 24 hours he will announce the winner. Arturo is winning.

ACT 4: The final showdown and announcement of the new drug lord

Joaquin PJ 18: Camila tries desperately to get in touch with Joaquin, but no response. Inquiring of others – tells them he went to US – no one has heard from him.

Arturo AJ 13: Camila makes a deal with the devil and sleeps with Arturo to save her husband from his wrath.

Dante RJ 9: Dante surges ahead of Arturo.

Joaquin PJ 19: In a migrant detention center. Director of border patrol enters.

Arturo AJ 12: In one of his “hallucinations,” Arturo kills Dante in a safe zone.

Arturo AJ 13: Camila stumbles upon the aftermath of Arturo killing Dante and realizes he’s been faking the hallucinations. Texts Joaquin this information.

Deeper Layer Reveal: Learn that Arturo has been faking the hallucinations.

Arturo AJ 14: Arturo tells Camila he’s learned that Joaquin is dead and he is there to comfort her. She doesn’t know what to believe, but if he’s dead, she believes Arturo killed him. Arturo insists Dante did it and promises to take care of her and children. Camila tells Arturo her husband is nothing like him, what he did he did to protect his family, not for power or ruthlessness, she’ll never love him and would rather he kill her than she having to be with him.

Joaquin PJ 20: Camila leaves Joaquin a message. We need you.

Joaquin P 21: Rodrigo is about to announce the winner as Arturo when Joaquin bursts in. You’re going to want to reconsider your decision – he shows Rodrigo a photo of the US director of border patrol dead. Pride on Rodrigo’s face, but asks his team for confirmation.

Joaquin PJ 22 and Arturo 15: As team confirms US news report that the woman is dead and Joaquin left a note that he killed her in honor of Rodrigo, Joaquin tells Arturo he knows he’s been stalking his family. Arturo tells him Camila came to him, slept with him, has always loved him and how will she see Joaquin if he kills him? Joaquin makes eye contact with his wife, a knife in his heart.

Joaquin PJ 23: Hands Joaquin a gun and for his last order, he orders him to kill him. Joaquin orders all the women and children out so they don’t have to see it. He kills them, then fires at other leading competitors, including Arturo who goes down.

Joaquin PJ 24: Orders everyone else out. A woman walks in from the back with a hood, leans down to Arturo and drops her hood. Stands up and says to Joaquin: “What’s our next move?”

Deeper Layer Reveal: Joaquin has outwitted the cartel and still maintains some of his morals.

[Jacqueline Murphy]

Jacqueline Murphy Beat Sheet – Draft 1 WIM MOD 4 LES 3 August 15, 2022

VISION: To empower myself to go for my dreams to be a great writer, actress and filmmaker who is “Admired”, recognized and sought after by the industry and has many successful TV & Film projects produced that make a difference and inspire others to go for their dreams.

What I learned from doing this assignment that comparing the different journeys, deeper meanings and genre helped to see where I was veering off and staying on the path to deliver the concept and the genre. Need to keep seeing that things line up.

1. State-To-Activity empowerment process. State: I am absolutely capable…Activity: …create a sequence of events for my Beat Sheet!

2. Starting with your 4-Act Structure, add the following components into your story to create the first draft of your Beat Sheet.

GENRE CONVENTION: Genre: Drama Thriller THRILLER VERSION:

A wannabe actress suspecting her “real father” was murdered in the 1940’s makes a deal with a Sorcerer to time travel so she can uncover what really happened but gets caught up in a dangerous underworld and find she has a dual role as Movie Star/Ruler of the OH dimension and has a genetic trait that allows her to perform her own magic. Tell us the following:

Title: Sorceress of Hollywood

Concept: A failed Actress meets a handsome devil who magically “time travels” her to 1940’s Hollywood as a movie star but she stumbles on her families genetic trait that allows her to create magic, time travel and changes in any era!

Genre: Drama Thriller

4-Act Structure

Concept: A failed Actress meets a handsome devil who magically “time travels” her to 1940’s Hollywood as a movie star but she stumbles on her families genetic trait that allows her to create magic, time travel and changes in any era!

Main Conflict: Sends time into confusion in a different era and loses her ability to go back “home” to Modern world her family, friends and the life she knows. She’s in LIMBO

Old Ways: Stuck, standing in once place, repeating the same actions over again hoping for success and stardom.

New Ways:

Olivia finds out she has a genetic magical power and doesn’t need the Sorcerer

2-Video’s and News from in the past reveal future and can be re-written

3-The paintings the render can take on a life of their own changing history

4-The historical dates can be juggled by tarot and numerology

5-Modern day news is suggestion what people do and undermining culture

“Deeper Layer” puzzle.

Surface Layer: Olivia a frustrated actress wants to be a Movie Star and makes a Faustian Deal with Sorcerer Z to “time travel” her to 1940s Hollywood

Deeper Layer: Olivia’s wound and desire to be loved and find out about her “past” especially the father she never knew. This drives her to search for “herself” and family in the OH Dimension. Her addiction to fame and being on top affects her decisions and leavers her vulnerable.

Major Reveal: Olivia has a “hidden” genetic talent that’s magnetized in the OH Dimension given to her by her long-lost father who saves her at the end

Influences Surface Story-Final Reveal: O is the Ascender to the Throne but she wants to have it both ways-to be a movie star and Ruling Sorceress of the Old Hollywood dimension (OHD)

Hints: Her deceased mothers journal and last wish, Z seeks her out, the kaleidoscope, Homeless/Mentor Witch introduction to the Witches Coven, O’s increasing ability for magic in the OHD and surprise she can “time Travel” herself without Z as she becomes more self-reliant and self-empowered

Changes Reality: From Olivia “relying” on others for her “breaks” to making it happen for herself and having an enormous magical power and ability that can make changes in any era and for others.

Protagonist: Olivia Spencer Act 1:

Deeper Layer: Beginning: Where does the character start? Olivia a frustrated actress who recently loses her Mom who gives her a family heirloom- a kaleidoscope. Olivia never knew her real father and know she feels very alone wanting stardom even more to fill the void.

Opening- Olivia struggling to make it and failing time after time.

Inciting Incident-Olivia’s mother passes away and gives her the gift of a kaleidoscope cryptically saying that with her passing “It is TIME and a power will be released”. Her mom hints about who Olivia’s real father was and what Olivia’s true purpose is.

Deeper Layer: Inciting Incident: What propels them on their journey? Olivia desires to be a star and find out more about her father she never knew when she meets Mr. Z who “hints” that he has met Olivia’s dad. Mr. Z courts Olivia, gets her trust and turns her against her BBF Angelica. What Z desires to “steal” O’s hidden power now that the portal has reopened with the death of Olivia’s mom. Z tempts Olivia with his magic that he can “time travel” her to OH Dimension where she can “find her dad” AND be a Movie star in 1940s Hollywood. Sacrifice: She can never return to the real world. Z sets up Angelica, O’s BBF so that O loses trust in her. Angelica left behind, bereft as she secretly loves Olivia-she reminds O she should think of Norma.

Z’s Deeper Layer: He knows the “rules” of OHD and with the portal freshly opened for a short time NOW is his ONLY chance to rule. Cast out when O’s mom left 40 years ago he wants revenge and get what he feels was “taken” from him-Power and Ruler of the OHD

Angelica Deeper Layer: Angelica is a “true angel” sent to the real world to “protect” Olivia by the Goddess’s of the Witches Coven as they want Olivia to rule but Angelica feels it’s best if Olivia stays in the real world where she can be her own person, it’s less dangerous AND more acceptable for her to let her secret romantic love flourish. Z’s “senses” A has a “strong energy” but isn’t aware of her “powers”. Bereft A lets A goes and tries to move on.

Act 1 Turning Point: Olivia meets a handsome Sorcerer Z who seduces who by telling her HE can make her dream of being a movie star come true IF she’ll go back to 1940’s Hollywood. Olivia agrees and makes a Faustian Deal with him: “Never to return to Modern Day Hollywood. Angelica tries to warn Olivia but Olivia rejects A calling her a liar when Z tells her A doesn’t want you to succeed and wants you for herself.

Deeper Layer: Turning Point 1-: A major twist that locks them into a conflict.: Wanting Olivia’s power while the portal is open, Z. time travels Olivia to 1940’s OH Dimension. Olivia is a big movie star but is hurtled into this dangerous world where she is a “fish out of water” and must deal with all the people who “want” from her: Olivia is determined enjoy her long awaiting fame and to make her dream to be a star work and to search for her father. Stars, Fans, the Dangerous Davey Haze-Mafia club owner and Studio Head Sam Meyer along with her troublesome boyfriend Billy whose addiction to drinking, sex and gambling puts her in peril. Z has sent Billy through the portal to keep her thrown off Z’s desire for her power by causing Billy’s antics to have to deal with the Mafia. Wanting to “enjoy” her “fame”, Olivia uses her charm, charisma and “acting abilities” to play along until she “figures” out this OHD.

Act 2: New plan: Olivia decides to “play” with the powerful men who threaten her as she’s catapulted into danger with Mafia Club Boss and Studio head as well as fans wanting a piece of her. She starts an affair with Taylor Desmond a powerful Player in OHD-an Oscar winning Director Producer whom the Studio and Mafia need. Only problem they fall madly in love but he’s married leaving both of them vulnerable to a PR disaster that could destroy their careers. Plan in action: Olivia’s a ‘Fish Out of Water” and tries to “Act” her way through all the confusion of the “time Travel” changes and tries to figure out this different world.

Deeper Layer: Act 2: The character has a “normal response” to this change in their lives Olivia tries to enjoy her fame. Olivia visits a cemetery with her families names on the tombstone while there she meets a homeless woman-Wanda Fish- who is really Head of the witches Coven. Wanda offers to mentor Olivia to discover her hidden talent for magic and find her dad but keeps from Olivia her true purpose-to have O. ascend the throne of OH and only woman rule.

Midpoint Turning Point: Olivia meets a homeless woman who poetically recites to her what she can be and guides her to a cemetery to her families tombstone. A Stonehenge rock opens and she’s surrounded by a coven of witches chanting to tell her she has the LEARN OF YOUR POWER!

Deeper Layer: Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: A twist that causes everything to change but keeps the character on the same journey. O having a PR Disaster because of her affair with the director starts to miss a more stable life, Angelica, her niece Norma calling them “her real family” and wonders now that she’s had a “taste of stardom” and learned “how to be a star” maybe she can go back to the real world. Olivia is fed up with the crazy OH Dimension and begs Z to take her back but he refuses because he needs O’s power in OH so he can ascend the throne and fights a silent battle with the Witches Coven as they both need to keep their motivations from O. Angelica watches this play out and decides that it’s time to help her BBF Angelica rationalizes after all “I’m Olivia’s appointed Angel” Angelica time travels herself to “help” Olivia to be true to herself. Angelica also reveals to O that Norma is lost, getting in trouble with drugs in the real world, modeling herself after Olivia and needs her help.

Act 3: Rethink everything: Deciding not to throw in the towel yet and still try to make it work in OHD but concerned for her niece Norma. Olivia is tired of being “manipulated” by the Sorcerer she was falling for, Taylor, Davey H and the studio head, Olivia tries to figure out how to win at this game and realizes she has MAGIC. New plan: To consort with the Covent of Witches to get success in the OH World and learn magic to time travel herself.

Deeper Layer: Act 3: The character rethinks their journey and makes a real change to solve things. Concerned for Norma, Olivia decides to take her fate into her “own hands” and starts to experiment with her “magic” and joins the Coven at their ceremonies to learn what she can. Magnetized by the “force” in the OHD Olivia’s power gets stronger but she hides it from the coven, Z and the OH Dimension. Olivia wants to decide for herself, what her life will be. When Z waves the deck tarot cards in front of Olivia making fun of her for trying to do magic a drunk FAN-Mr. Grossberg bumps into them causing the tarot deck to “fly” up in the air. Olivia grabs the “Wheel of Fortune” card and is astonished find she can “time travel” herself back to the “Real” world. Olivia succeeds with her “wish” it and is able to travel back herself! Olivia’s experimenting with magic and figuring out how to time travel but a further wrench in Z’s plans NOW he must follow her back to the Real world and sees that he can use her 19 year-old niece Norma who wants to be “a star, just like Auntie O” . Z and Angelica are locked in a battle of good and evil as Olivia comes back to the real world portal. Z tempts her so how was it? But when Olivia doesn’t bite UNTIL Z takes Norma into the OHD portal causing Olivia to have to go back to protect Norma.

ACT 3 Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Back home Olivia is concerned for Norma, misses the Action of the OH Dimension and is curious to see if she can find who her father really is. Deciding to to take one last stab with magic to time travel back she convinces Z, O and Angelica go back to “save” Norma. But once back, the OH Dimension has other plans and the witches Coven can’t lose Olivia again. An irate Z follows Olivia back, tries to tempt her telling Olivia “I can win you the Oscar” but Angelica runs interference-he’s TROUBLE!. Olivia realizes there’s nothing in the real world if she loses Norma. Norma is in the portal and has become an acting competitor of Olivia’s, disrespecting and ignoring Olivia at every turn. This also backfires on Olivia when Olivia sees her absence from OHD has caused changes like Starlet getting her part, Billy further in debt and Davey Haze, The Mafia Club manager leverages her. Z taunts her mocking her “Now you can’t go back.”

Olivia meets with the Witches Coven who demand she give up stardom and Ascend the Throne of the OHD. Caught in the middle, she goes back to the cemetery to speak with her ancestors but finds herself face to face with a gravestone bearing her real dad’s name BUT (REVEAL) her DAD is standing in front of her very much alive and realizes the life/death portal has been opened!

Deeper Layer: Turning Point 3: Another major twist that takes them to the biggest conflict Turning Point 3: Norma is a star and is dating newspaper magnate WR Cox and steering Studio head Sam Meyer. She refuses to go back with Olivia. Z offers the solution: Give me your newfound power and the kaleidoscope and the keys to the kingdom and you can get her back. Olivia and Norma are nominated for an Oscar and now compete with each other.

REVEAL Looking to heal the many wounds of rejection, abandonment ,looking for a home, stability and her true self Olivia looks for solace at the family cemetery and is stunned when her long lost father appears! He tells her he’s alive but hiding under a spell and trapped. Her mom’s death has opened the life/death portal but only for a short time! Olivia must ACT!

Act 4: Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Olivia explodes and fearlessly lets go where her powers are released, grabbing the “Kaleidoscope” back from the Sorcerer the prism changes-Olivia can see the different “views” of the Different worlds and dimensions, time periods – the OH world to the Modern Dimension and she time travels herself back there.

Deeper Layer: 4th Act Climax: The ultimate experience/expression of this conflict. Z challenges Olivia to a magic duel. Angelica is allowed to help Olivia and the 3 go at it. The thunderstorm of Z’s Evil, Angelica’s Good and Olivia’s “BALANCE” cause ripples through the OH Universe electrically breaking the “spell” that bound Olivia’s father. With the help of the witches the father-the founding ruler and creator of the OH Dimension appears knocking all 3 in separate corners and reveals they are all half siblings BUT Olivia is the only one with one 100% gene and ability to rule because she is BALANCE

Act 4 Resolution

DEEPER LAYER: Resolution: Their world has changed. How did they end up after going through this journey? A battle of wills takes place: Z-Evil, Angelica-Good and Olivia-Balance causing a huge electrical thunderstorm magnetizing Olivia’s power and releasing her “invisible” father from the spell. The father appears the witches bow chanting him to be the “Creator” of the OH Dimension. The father announces all 3 are siblings but only Olivia can be the true ruler because of her 100% genetic trail as BALANCE. He passes the torch to Olivia letting her know of the “Balance” that is needed there to make the changes in the OH & Real world. Olivia ascends the Throne but we see her conflict as she still yearns to be a star and not ruler. Olivia announces her feelings during the “coronation” to be a different kind of ruler and insists she wants it both ways. Olivia brokers her deal and is able to make changes in past and present that make a difference. After duking it out between themselves Z and Angelica agree to support Olivia as they see the witches coven in behind her and Olivia is the rightful ruler.

3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.

Beginning: Where does the character start? Olivia a frustrated actress loses her Mom who gives her a family heirloom- a kaleidoscope that belonged to the father she never knew.

Inciting Incident: What propels them on their journey? Olivia desires to be a star and find out more about her father she never knew. Mr. Z wants to “steal” O’s hidden power and tempts Olivia with his magic that he can “time travel” her to OH Dimension where she can “find her dad” AND be a Movie star in 1940s Hollywood but never return to the real world. Z sets up Angelica, O’s BBF so that O loses trust in her. Angelica left behind, bereft as she secretly loves Olivia-she reminds O she should think of Norma.

Turning Point 1-: A major twist that locks them into a conflict.: Z. time travels Olivia to 1940’s OH Dimension and she is a big movie star but is hurtled into this dangerous world where she is a fish out of water and must deal with all the people who “want” from her: the Dangerous Davey Haze-Mafia club owner and Studio Head Sam Meyer along with her troublesome boyfriend Billy whose addiction to gambling puts her in peril. Olivia uses her “acting abilities” to play and get through it all.

Act 2: The character has a “normal response” to this change in their lives. Olivia tries to enjoy her fame. She meets a homeless woman who is really Head of the witches Coven who wants to mentor her to discover her hidden talent for magic but keeps from Olivia her true purpose-to have O. Ascend the Throne of OH and who O’s father is. Olivia tries to make it work in OH and focus on her stardom and fame.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: A twist that causes everything to change but keeps the character on the same journey. O fed up with the crazy OH Dimension begs Z to take her back but he refuses because he needs O’s power in OH so he can ascend the throne and fights a silent battle with the Witches Coven as they both need to keep their motivations from O. Angelica O’s BBF time travels herself to “help’ O be true to herself and to tell Olivia her 19 year-old niece Norma is using drugs and in trouble.

Act 3: The character rethinks their journey and makes a real change to solve things. O decides to take her fate into her “own hands” and starts to experiment with her “magic”. As her power gets stronger she hides it from the coven, Z and the OH Dimension as she wants to decide for herself what her life will be .O is thrilled to find she can time travel herself back to the “Real” world and decides to go back and get distance from this crazy world. Olivia’s experimenting with magic and figuring out how to time travel but a further wrench in Z’s plans NOW he must follow her back to the Real world and sees that he can use her 19 year old niece Norma who wants to be “a star, just like Auntie O” . Z and Angelica are locked in a battle of good and evil as Olivia comes back to the real world portal. Z tempts her so how was it?For a brief time Norma is in rehab. But when Olivia doesn’t bite Z lures Norma into the OH world with drugs and fame, causing Olivia to have to go back to protect Norma

Turning Point 3: Another major twist that takes them to the biggest conflict Turning Point 3: Olivia goes back to the OHD she rationalizes it’s to help Norma but Olivia also missed the action-this is a very addictive world. Norma is a star and is dating newspaper magnate WR Cox and steering Studio head Sam Meyer. She refuses to go back with Olivia. Z offers the solution: Give me your newfound power and the kaleidoscope and the keys to the kingdom and you can get her back. Olivia and Norma are nominated for an Oscar and now compete with each other becoming arch rivals.

4th Act Climax: The ultimate experience/expression of this conflict. All 3-Z, O and Angelica are back to “save” Norma but the OH Dimension has other plans and the witches Coven can’t lose Olivia again. An irate Z tries to tempt Olivia telling her “I can win you the Oscar” but Angelica runs interference.. Z challenges Olivia to a magic duel. As Olivia’s “angel” Angelica is allowed to help Olivia and the 3 go at it. The thunderstorm of Z’s Evil, Angelica’s Good and Olivia’s “BALANCE” cause ripples through the OH Universe electrically breaking the “spell” that bound Olivia’s father. With the help of the witches the father-the founding ruler and creator of the OH Dimension appears knocking all 3 in separate corners and reveals they are all half siblings BUT Olivia is the only one with one 100% gene to rule because she is BALANCE

Resolution: Their world has changed. How did they end up after going through this journey? A battle of wills takes place: Z-Evil, Angelica-Good and Olivia-Balance causing a huge electrical thunderstorm magnetizing Olivia’s power and releasing her “invisible” father from the spell. The father appears the witches bow chanting him to be the “Creator” of the OH Dimension. The father announces all 3 are siblings but only Olivia can be the true ruler because of her 100% genetic trail as BALANCE. He passes the torch to Olivia letting her know of the “Balance” that is needed there to make the changes in the OH & Real world. Olivia ascends the Throne but we see her conflict as she still yearns to be a star and not just a ruler. Olivia announces her feelings during the “coronation” to be a different kind of ruler and insists she wants it both ways. Olivia brokers her deal and is able to make changes in past and present that make a difference. After duking it out between themselves Z and Angelica agree to support Olivia as they see the witches coven in behind her and Olivia is the rightful ruler.

4. Once you have created the 4-Act Structure for your Protagonist, go back over it to see if there is any big picture points you need to add.

Protag Journey Structure

Beginning: Failing actress with abandonment and rejection wound

Inciting Incident: Olivia’s mom dies leaving her with a kaleidoscope

Turning Point 1: She meets a handsome Sorcerer who courts her and runs interference to get rid of Olivia’s BBF Angelica an intuitive healer and psychic who knows and sees right through him. Z plants mistrust between Olivia and Angelica which has Olivia fall for his “romancing her” and helping her get her dream to be a star

Act 2: Olivia makes a Faustian deal with the Sorcerer to have him “time travel” back to 1940’s Hollywood as a big movie star but she can never return ignoring Angelica’s warnings

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Olivia is a fish out of water but “acts” her way playing the part of a “star” in this new OH Dimension Her boyfriend Billy has followed here and creates all kinds of problems for her with his gambling, drinking and sex addiction. Olivia is beholden to Mobster and Club Owner Davey Haze and Sam Meyer the Studio head to help her get star roles and give her money to cover the “mess” Billy is creating and keep it quiet so she can keep up her image. Starlet tries to “Steal her role”. She’s hit a wall and is very unhappy until she helps a homeless woman who reveals to Olivia her “hidden genetic talent” . Angelica appears as the Mafia Club owners “right hand advisor” undercover to try and talk sense to Olivia and get her back to the real world.

Act 3: Seeing that Olivia may leave the OH Dimension the homeless woman is a powerful witch and mentor decides it’ “Time” to show Olivia how to use her hidden genetic talent and who her father is and was and what her true purpose is in the OH Dimension. Olivia isn’t sure about staying in this new dangerous dimension and misses her niece and the real world she knows.

Turning Point 3: A confused Olivia experiments with a “Tarot card spell” and is thrilled to see she is able to time travels herself, back to the Real World with her new found power. A surprised and annoyed Mr. Z follows Olivia and uses Olivia’s adoring 19 year old niece Norma to get under Olivia’s skin by giving Norma a chance to be a star-“just like Auntie O”. Olivia sees Mr. Z “time travel” Norma and decides she must go back and protect her.

Act 4 Climax: A battle of wills between Mr. Z. ,Angelica and Olivia. Olivia’s power is magnetized the more time she spends in the OH Dimension and with the appearance of her real father shatters her beliefs and causes her to rethink what her real purpose is in this dimension and how she can make beneficial changes to the real world. The Mentor Witch reveals she is her father’s sister and Olivia must be made Ruler of Throne to restore order in OH Dimension and to release her father from the spell he’s been under.

Resolution: Olivia accepts her “Star” position as Sorceress in the OH Dimension. This allows her father, Mr Z and Angelica who are her “siblings” to be the better parts of themselves . The kingdom rallies around Olivia to support her

4. Repeat the process with your Antagonist- Mr. Z

Beginning: Mr. Z cast out of the OH dimension hears that Olivia’s mom has passed and seeks her out to “Steal” her power and the magic kaleidoscope

Inciting Incident: Mr. Z romances Olivia and comes between her and Angelica so he can seduce her to make the Faustian deal of going to the OH Dimension with him so he can steal her power and become the Ruler.

Turning Point 1: Mr. Z and Olivia’s romance starts to get serious and he has to remind himself of his goal to take her power. Olivia isn’t aware of her hidden genetic power for magic. Z gets jealous as he sees other men want Olivia, especially the dangerous Mafia Club owner Davey Haze and the manipulative studio head Sam Meyer. None of these 3 men could anticipate Olivia would start an affair with Taylor Desmond a married Oscar winning Director.

Act 2: Z sees his power weakening and decides to cause more problems for Olivia by having Starlet get her part. He’s dealing with the heavy weights in the OH world Mafia/studio and witches.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Olivia unawares of her powers pleads with Z to take her back to the real world. She’s so unhappy. Z sees Angelica come on the scene and is suspicious of what she plans to do to thwart him. The witches coven cast a spell on Z that hampers some of his powers but not all.

Act 3: Olivia’s experimenting with magic and figuring out how to time travel but a further wrench in Z’s plans NOW he must follow her back to the Real world and sees that he can use her 19 year old niece Norma who wants to be “a star, just like Auntie O” . Z and Angelica are locked in a battle of good and evil as Olivia comes back to the real world portal. Z tempts her so how was it? But when Olivia doesn’t bite he takes Norma into the OH world causing Olivia to have to go back to protect Norma

Turning Point 3: Norma is a star and is dating newspaper magnate WR Cox and steering Studio head Sam Meyer. She refuses to go back with Olivia. Z offers the solution: Give me your newfound power and the kaleidoscope and the keys to the kingdom and you can get her back.

Act 4 Climax: The Witches Coven appeals to Olivia not to let Z run ramshod with his evil power. Z challenges Olivia to a magic duel. Angelica is allowed to help Olivia and the 3 go at it. The thunderstorm of Z’s Evil, Angelica’s Good and Olivia’s “BALANCE” cause ripples through the OH Universe electrically breaking the “spell” that bound Olivia’s father. With the help of the witches the father-the founding ruler and creator of the OH Dimension appears knocking all 3 in separate corners and reveals they are all half siblings BUT Olivia is the only one with one 100% gene to rule because she is BALANCE

Resolution: After duking it out between themselves Z and Angelica agree to support Olivia as they see the witches coven in behind her and Olivia is the rightful ruler.

#3 Triangle character-Angelica the intuitive advisor, psychic healer & BBF to Olivia .

Beginning: Angelica advises Olivia in the real world but the loss of Olivia’s mom has made her vulnerable and despondent. Olivia is hell bent on finding out more about the father she never knew and why her mom gave her a kaleidoscope.

Inciting Incident: Mr. Z from the OH Dimension comes to usurp Olivia’s power and the kaleidoscope. Being psychic Angelica can see who he is and what he wants. She warns Olivia but Z creates mistrust by making Angelica look like she doesn’t want Olivia to have her dream to be a star.

Turning Point 1: To Angelica’s disappointment, Olivia spurns her and makes the Faustian deal to time travel to the dangerous OH Dimension, leaving Angelica behind.

Act 2: Angelica can see in her “crystal ball” that Olivia is being hurtled into the more dangerous side of the OH Dimension and doesn’t know how to protect herself. She puts her pride and rejection aside and time travels there inserting herself as Davey Haze the Mafia clubowner’s right hand advisor in order to keep an eye on Olivia

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: A distraught Olivia jerked around by Davey for romance and shunted aside by the Studio head when her star part is given to Starlet begs Z to return her but he won’t as he needs her power to succeed as ruler of the OH Dimension-the magic hour hasn’t happened yet for the power to be exchanged. Angelica appears to a shocked Olivia and guides her to “Be true to yourself” Olivia says: But how. But the time isn’t right and not aligned yet.

Act 3: Olivia’s Homeless witch reveals she’s the Head Sorceress of the Coven and teaches her a magic lesson which Olivia tries and she is able to time travel herself back to the “real world” Angelica follows hoping she can keep Olivia there

Turning Point 3: Z follows Olivia back and he and Angelica have a battle of wills: Z Evil and Angelica’s Good. Z tempts Olivia with stardom, future dreams, excitement but sees a real opening when Norma comes in and says: “Aunti O I want to be just like you a big movie star” Z flourishes his magic power dragging Norma through the portal causing Olivia to have to go with him to “save” Norma

Act 4 Climax: Olivia and Norma compete for starring roles and are both up for Oscars in the OH Dimension. Olivia exhausted trying to figure out who she is, her role, where she can enlist the witches coven and magic appeals to Angelica. The witches intervene and a battle of Z evil, Angelica good and Olivia BALANCE occurs to see who’ll win and be the ruler. They all are infected with the desire for power, fame and to rule.

Resolution: A thunderstorm occurs from the magical battle causing electric currents that release Olivia’s real father from the spell and we can know see him and that he is the creator and the original Ruler of the OH Dimension. The 3 are knocked into separate corners of a triangle and DAD reveals that they are all is children but Olivia has the true 100% power to rule as she is BALANCE. The question is can she part with her need to be a movie star and rule the OH Dimension. For the moment Olivia agrees and convinces dad, the witches coven and all that she can be a “balancing” force and rule fairly. Z and Angelica realize they must be her allies in order to have any power and survive. Angelica is thrilled to be Olivia’s right hand BUT she hasn’t told Olivia of her romantic love of her. Z is seething but goes with the plan and still desires to succeed “trickster” that he is. The GOLD LADY appears: this is Olivia’s mother who blesses it all and reveals there is more to come! Olivia is responsible to make changes in all realms and must empower others to be all they can be and go for their dreams.

[Valeriya Ordinartseva]

Valeriya’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

My Vision: I am a masterful, ahead-of-the-game, and outside-the-box writer full of ideas and creative energy. My writing is fresh, impactful, iconic, beautiful, and effortless. My projects deliver outstanding commercial and artistic success. I am on the leading edge. I create a lot, it’s fun, quick, and easy. My whole life is that way.

I am absolutely capable of creating a sequence of events for my Beat Sheet!

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

– The more components every beat serves the better!

– Moving on!

BOO WHO HOO: Following her therapist’s advice, a woman asks her “monster-under-the-bed” to come out into the light where she can deal with it… but the monster has other ideas.

Act 1 – Irene summons a monster

Opening

AJ, Deeper Layer: Irene’s unrealized dreams and suppressed desires have been growing for years.

PJ: Beginning: Irene is depressed, lonely, and unhappy. She sleeps in a daytime and works at night. Something bothers her at her place, she is afraid of every sound.

Genre: She tells her cat Lucky not to go under the bed.

She doesn’t notice she hurts herself (pinching, biting nails and lips).

Genre: She turns on the TV not to feel alone.

Her wisdom tooth starts bothering her. A call. Her successful childhood friend comes to town, the one who lives her life to the fullest. Invites her to meet.

Genre: Her cat disappears.

She meets her friend, they talk, Irene’s life and relationships are ugly. Her friend tells her to see a shrink and invites her to her concert.

Deeper Layer: Irene throws away the flyer. Things that Irene gave up on disappear (include in the screen story).

Inciting Incident

She asks to put a missing cat poster in the store.

Genre: Irene senses there’s someone in the house. It’s not a cat, she finds the cat’s collar. She has a nervous breakdown, and decides to go see a shrink.

PJ: Inciting Incident: Shrink recommends Irene to talk to the monster under the bed.

Turning Point

AJ: Inciting Incident: For the first time Irene talks to Boo, about her dreams, and asks Boo to come out.

Deeper Layer, AJ: Turning Point 1: Boo comes out to play, believing that Irene can help it.

______________________________

Act 2 – Run or hide it:

New plan

Deeper Layer: She gets scared first, then the monster appears, not the other way around!

Genre: Strange things start happening: the picture of her family breaks, there are weird reflections on her screen and in the mirrors, the lights go off way too often, or are on where she didn’t turn it on. And when her hand hangs from the bed, something that’s under the bed…

Deeper Layer: Things that Irene gave up on disappear (include in the screen story).

Irene is scared she calls her mom who invites her to come over for a weekend.

Deeper Layer:

PJ: Turning Point 1: The monster comes out and starts creating mess and threaten Irene.It plays with her the games she used to like.

Deeper Layer: Surface Layer: A monster ruins Irene’s life.

Plan in action

Deeper Layer: Irene ruins her life and monster tries to stop her.

AJ: Act 2: Boo shows Irene life is short and instead of being afraid she should live. Boo prompts Irene to create art, call her mom, see her family, take care of herself, go out and have fun, make peace with her dad’s predicament.

Deeper Layer: It pushes her to enjoy her life.

She loses her job.

PJ: Act 2: Irene tries to get rid of the monster, poisons it, locks it out. Irene goes out, trying to escape from the monster. It follows.

Genre: She sees it in the window of the gallery. Its shadow follows her.

She hides in the club.

Genre: The monster is in the crowd.

Not to be alone she brings home a guy and locks the door and windows to keep the monster out. The guy gets scared of the glue and visions of hell and runs away.

Genre: Irene goes to the dentist to pull her wisdom tooth. The monster comes back. She runs away from the dentist without treatment.

Irene goes to see her family. The monster is there.

Genre: When her mom reminds her that she’s turning 30 and she is still alone, Irene says she is not alone, that’s the thing. Why didn’t she tell them? She wanted it to be a surprise. She introduces the monster and invites it to the table. Everyone believes a guy is about to come in. They wait. Irene’s niece checks and comes back quiet. Mom goes to welcome the guest. Nobody. Stupid joke. Irene’s niece confirms the monster is real.

Irene’s niece gives her cryptic advice on dealing with monsters.

Midpoint Turning Point

Irene’s father dies. PJ: Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Monster takes revenge by killing people around her.Deeper Layer: It gets worse every time Irene goes to her old ways.

______________________________

Act 3 – Monsters’ showdown:

Rethink everything

Understanding she can’t run away, Irene starts hunting the monster, but of course the odds are against her – she is the one who gets hurt. Then she decides to pretend she is a friend of the monster and will do whatever it wants her to do to get rid of it.

Genre: The monster needs someone, maybe someone else, she hopes, because she can’t kill herself, although she tries.

Deeper Layer: It shows her that life is short.

New plan

PJ: Act 3: Irene negotiates with the monster and looks for unrelated victims to keep it quiet.

Irene and the monster go out to kill someone.

AJ: Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Unable to sustain her pain, Irene decides to harm people.

AJ: Act 3: Boo pushes Irene to meet the guy she likes.

Genre: They come to a 24/7 shop. She buys painkillers, they have a convo on dealing with pian vs. killing it. There’s something in the store. The manager hides from the monster with Irene.

He walks her back to her place.

Genre: She invites him to come up. He passes.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift

Genre: It’s on, the monster and Irene have to sort it out now.

Turning Point 3: Boo wants to save Irene from death.

Suddenly, Irene’s mom brings the niece who has to stay with Irene, whose sister is in hospital.

PJ: Turning Point 3: Her plan fails, and now she has a kid at her place.

______________________________

Act 4 – Monsters united:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict

Irene decides to kill her niece to get rid of the monster. The monster stops Irene from committing a murder. Irene realizes she has been terrorizing herself and others all this time.

AJ, PJ: Act 4 Climax: Irene fights the monster and understands that the monster wants to die. But she can’t kill it! She hugs it, and it gives her what it was made of — all of it.

Deeper Layer: As soon as she decides to change the monster falls apart.

She embraces her fears and breaks free from them. Monster gives her a gift. It shows Irene what she wants and helps her get rid of her fears. (Leaving it here for now: when she was a child, Irene was hiding under the bed).

Deeper Layer: Major Reveal: The monster is made of every desire Irene ever gave up on, it’s not trying to kill Irene, it’s asking for help.

Genre: In the morning emergency takes Irene away.

Resolution

Deeper Layer: Changes Reality: Discovering that the monster is made of her dreams, Irene realizes she created all the scary moments in her story.

Irene becomes an artist who can see other’s monsters. Her art is a reminder that sets them free. Her paintings are in the gallery. She dates the guy she connected with thanks to the monster. She tells the shrink no longer needs therapy.

PJ: Resolution: Turns out it’s not a monster but her unrealized dreams.

AJ: Resolution: Boo transforms into Irene’s life of fulfillment.

____________________________________________________________

7RDRD4: Robots became too human and people start dehumanization program to get rid of them. Can a girl brought up by a robot prove that she isn’t one before she and her robot get killed?

Act 1 – Hiding:

Opening

AJ: Beginning: Benedict is sent out into the world and is mistreated by people.

PJ: Inciting Incident: 7 kills the inventor. A robot kills a person putting the existence of all human-like robots in danger.

Inciting Incident

PJ: Turning Point 1: PJ: Beginning: Throwing itself away, the robot finds a baby girl in the waste.

Genre: PJ: Act 2: AJ: Inciting Incident: It brings up the human child, hiding and protecting it from the cruel society that let the child down. An evil evasive robot kills more people.He seizes an opportunity to take control of growing hatred in an underhanded way to turn it against people. People invite robots to come for recycling if they want to be of service. People disappear and our robot uses their IDs.

Deeper Layer: Thinking for oneself is frowned upon.

Turning Point

Genre: People decide to get rid of human robots altogether.

Deeper Layer: What’s going on is dehumanization of people, not robots.

The robot who saved the baby gets an invitation to the humanity test.

The teen girl steals the invitation to pass the test instead of her robot.

PJ: Inciting Incident: Her robot gets recycling invitation and she goes to pass the test instead of it.

Deeper Layer: People are asked to betray their robots and out of fear they do exactly that.

The girl fails, she is recognized to be a robot and is sent to recycling.

Act 2 – Coping:

New plan

She appeals to court and fails.

Deeper Layer: Surface Layer: A girl and her robot try to survive the dehumanization program.

PJ: Turning Point 1: Her test shows she is a robot and she is sent to recycling.

PJ: Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: The girl is about to be killed because of 7.

Genre: Deeper Layer: There are traces of murders in the recycling facility.Someone was killed in the recycling facility

Plan in action

AJ: Turning Point 1: PJ: Act 2: PJ: Act 3: The robot saves the girl and others.They escape from recycling and dehumanization program.

They hide.

Midpoint Turning Point

TPJ: Turning Point 3: But they get caught.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: She starts robot and human unrest.

AJ: Act 2: He attempts to stop the riot.

Act 3 – Growing:

Rethink everything

Deeper Layer: The voice of reason gets turned inside out (as if he protects robots)

AJ Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Suggests a fair play as a solution. For the sake of fairness and entertainment, people offer the robots to play a humanity game, in which those who fail get destroyed.

Deeper Layer: Influences Surface Story: The debate gets more and more heated. People choose a cruel game to sort people and robots.

New plan

PJ: Act 3: Lo leads the robots through the traps, to save her robot. Robots and people help each other to go through trials.

Genre: The tasks, puzzles and traps are created in a way nobody can survive.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift

AJ: Act 3: PJ: Turning Point 3: A mysterious flying robot kills those who found the solutions for everyone in previous rounds.

Deeper Layer: Someone kills robots without following any procedures (human red herring?)

Act 4 – Winning:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict

Genre: The girl figures out what’s going on but her discovery leads them into a trap. Now she has to die.

AJ: Turning Point 3: PJ: Act 4 Climax: PJ: Act 4 Climax: Lo and 7 find who it is. Our robot fights the mysterious one. Turns out the politician running the dehumanization program is a robot.

Deeper Layer: Major Reveal: A robot exploits society’s hatred and fear to gain control over them.

Resolution

Both robots die. The girl lives to build a world where humanity comes first for every creation.

PJ: Resolution: 7 dies but his human-creation lives to see the new world.

PJ: Resolution: Lo shows the world what’s going on with it.

Deeper Layer: Just being herself saves Lo so she can save everyone.

Deeper Layer: People were betraying themselves all along. They were fooled by a robot.

[Kristin Donnan]

KRISTIN’S BEAT SHEET — DRAFT 1

VISION: “I want the personal, professional, and financial freedom and joy that come from writing so well that I’m in demand, selling beyond my wildest dreams, and making worthy projects—on a big scale and with my active, collegial participation.”

WHAT I LEARNED in this assignment: I was so worried that I didn’t know all of the beats, or that I wouldn’t be able to separate “the plot” or “the details” from the characters’ primary moves. By reading the assignment and sample, and then listening again to Hal’s instructions (including to just DO IT FAST and move on), I realized I could do it. It’s weird: I’ve outlined a million times, but somehow this seemed more intimidating. I think the idea that this is a “better process” made me more worried about it. I think I’ve made friends with it now.

ACT I: PETE IS TARGETED AND MAKES A DECISION THAT CHANGES HIS LIFE

PJ 1: Pete is returning from a dig with the merry band of diggers; brushes off the question about the “warning” they heard about from a friend. Wants to talk about science.

DEEPER LAYER: He’s been warned, but refuses to consider it. “Not possible” in his worldview.

AJ 1: Slick Willy passes the caravan on the road… sees them as they turn into the gas station… he’s on the way to the landowner they just left.

PJ 2: Everybody loads up, helps kids hop in… drives off.

PJ 3: Someone notices that a vehicle has pulled over. Pete expertly backs up and hops out… very ready to help… He mentions that a particular kid would like XX on the ditch. Kid missing. Someone goes back to pick him up from gas station.

INCITING INCIDENT: Place is surrounded… seizure of fossil!

TJ 1: Lawyer arrives and takes stock. Tells Pete to keep his trap shut.

AJ 2: Slick Willy thinks he’s playing a strong hand – holds a press conference, makes claims that Pete has violated laws, and that the fossil is “in danger.” Thinks he’ll be a hero.

DEEPER LAYER: Slick Willy is out of his element and too arrogant to realize how many mistakes he’s making.

PJ 4: Starts to call out Slick Willy – he doesn’t know what he’s doing. The fossil is in danger from the person pretending to help—so Pete takes over the seizure himself. Embarrasses Slick Willy.

AJ 3: Slick Willy calls in the National Guard (another mistake).

TJ 2: Bronc enjoys the press as much as Slick Willy does.

PJ 5 / TURNING POINT 1: Pete announces on TV that he’ll sue the government.

AJ 4 / DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Slick Willy runs to the judge [MAYBE WE DON’T KNOW WHO HE IS] to ask advice. We learn that Slick Willy is in cahoots… with someone.

ACT 2 — THE SHIT HITS THE FAN

PJ 6: Pete is interviewed—a lot—and keeps telling his truth. People start to love him.

TJ 3: Bronc files paperwork about the National Guard / tries to stop the process for science and safety.

AJ 5: Slick Willy brings more “experts” into the mix. To fight Pete’s positive press, some of them start spreading fake news about “independent fossil hunters are all treasure hunters.” But frank conversations among this group suggest that Pete isn’t guilty of anything.

PJ 7: Pete calls Charlie: “Can you find Tom Brokaw?”

AJ 6: Slick Willy hints to the press that a large investigation is underway.

TJ 4: Bronc asks Pete: Did you make the mistakes Slick Willy is suggesting?

DEEPER LAYER: Slick Willy begins to position the case as “saving artifacts from being auctioned to the highest bidder,” but he’s really just buying time while he figures out how to proceed. All the questions make Pete doubt himself and his easy-going processes.

PJ 8: Charlie arrives, and Pete pours his heart out to her. He reveals that during his preliminary “self-investigation,” he’s discovered that one of his colleagues really has been doing something wrong.

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT (TP2): INDICTMENTS!

AJ 7: Slick willy unfurls a huge and cumbersome RICO case. It’s ridiculous in its scope and overreach.

TJ 5: Bronc puts it all in perspective during a briefing for Charlie: “A million fossils, 7 sites that have been questioned.”

PJ 9: Pete shows a new side to himself—recognizing the scope of this situation, he finds his “inner grown up” and stands tall.

TJ 6: Bronc warns Pete to be careful of Charlie—and “he knows women.” Pete says his intuition about her is good; he’s known her “forever.”

DEEPER LAYER: “everyone” involved knows this is a game, and that the indictment is out of control. Still, the game is serious.

ACT 3 — PETE BECOMES AN INVESTIGATOR

PJ 10 / TJ 6: Pete and Bronc lay out a plan to investigate every count. Sends out the team, including Charlie.

AJ 8: Slick Willy sends all his investigators and “experts” to confirm details about each site they’ve identified; without saying it outright, he suggests that they stretch the truth if needed. (Hilarious, as they are out of shape and can’t reach them.)

DEEPER LAYER: As both sides build their cases, we see how the prosecutor handles the case, and how weak everyone thinks it really is. We also see Pete use his natural skills in an awesome way.

TP / MIDPOINT: Other defendants are afraid; lawyers multiply and split.

AJ 9: Slick Willy rubs his hands together… even if the case is weak, the defendants might cut each other to bits—which would make him the winner.

PJ 11: Pete stands alone for the team, willing to sacrifice himself—even though he knows he didn’t do anything wrong.

TJ 7: Bronc initiates a meeting / suggests the plea bargain. Slick Willy agrees, thinking it will be the best chance at a “win,” even though the plea bargain is highly in Pete’s favor.

DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: When the plea bargain appears in the paper, the judge [WE LEARN THAT THE “ADVISOR” IS THE JUDGE] blames Pete’s team and turns it down, stunning Slick Willy. [NOTE: SHOULD THE REJECTION BE THE MIDPOINT?]

ACT 4 — THE SHOWDOWN (TRIAL)

Frankly not sure exactly how to manage the trial …

AJ 10 / 11 / etc.: Slick Willy looks like an idiot on many occasions, because he is unprepared and has made mistakes.

PJ 12 / 13 / etc.: Pete scores good points, and also it becomes obvious that occasionally someone on his team made a minor error—but nothing serious.

TJ 8 / 9 / etc.: Bronc becomes the star of the trial—strutting his stuff on cross examination and illustrating how the investigators look like doofuses.

DEEPER LEVEL: The judge is obviously on the prosecution’s side, making crazy rulings and not letting in defense exhibits. Defense keeps score on his rulings.

RESOLUTION: The judge, completely on a tear, sentences Pete as if he were guilty of big crimes and sends him to prison.

DEEPER LEVEL: Charlie finds out that the Slick Willy leaked the plea bargain to the press… and that the whole case was a set-up. [NOT SURE HOW YET.]

PJ XX: When Pete self-surrenders, the guy who checks him in says “you must have pissed somebody off.” We see Pete’s business colleagues lined up to visit him as he’s finding fossils in the prison yard.

[Nat Melvin]

M4 LESSON 3: Natalie’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

My vision is to create and produce award winning stories that make an unforgettable emotional impact on a worldwide audience.

What I learned from this assignment: It’s ok to let go off of perfection and to vomit the first draft, and… OMG! I discovered so many new plot twists and deeper levels that make total sense and also cover up a few plot holes. Loving this! However, Act 4 still gave me a huge three weeks long of agonizing frustration.

BLOODHUNTER

Mystery Thriller / Drama

ACT 1: A sudden death of a wealthy aristocrat triggers the race for inheritance

Emily PJ 1: Emily describes the source of her emotional trauma (as a witness of a cult’s sacrificial ritual), and makes sketches from her memory – while under a hypnosis

Walter AJ 1: In preparation for his Great Uncle’s funeral, Walter arranges plaster phantoms on pews

Deeper Layer: Walter molds trophy plaster phantoms off his relatives’ bodies whom he kills

Hagan TJ 1: Comes to the chapel to bid farewell to his estranged father, and is called to see his sister, Lady Winslet (LW)

Walter AJ 2: Walter becomes unsettled about Hagan’s visit to LW, slides stone slates aside on the floor and descends into a hole

Deeper layer: Walter uses network of old tunnels to get anywhere in the estate

INCITING INCIDENT: / PJ 2: Emily’s drawing of a girl triggers her belief that her daughter is alive

Deeper layer: Emily has a DID and lives a double life, that of a mother, and her 8 y.o. girl

Hagan TJ 2 (Turning Point 1): LW reveals her terminal illness and notifies Hagan that he will not be the heir of the estate, per his father’s will. She orders him to leave this town immediately, while his daughter, Hunter, will remain in LW’s custody until he sets his roots in a new place somewhere else

Deeper Layer: Hagan is half African American man, adopted by LW’s deceased brother, who is born out of wedlock. He’s been rejected by his father’s snobbish white suprematists’ family

Walter/ as Cherimoya AJ 3: Cherimoya eavesdrops Hagan’s and LW’s conversation about the will

Hagan TJ 3: Hagan expresses his intent to fight for his rights and swears to find proof of his relation to the family, no matter what or who stands on his way, then leaves, outraged.

Walter/ as Cherimoya AJ 4: Cherimoya enters LW’s room after Hagan leaves, forcing her to give her LW’s brother’s will. He leaves her sitting in her wheelchair, barely alive.

Emily PJ 3: Emily sees Hagan headed to the chapel through the window, attacks her psychiatrist, Susan, grabs her notebook, Susan’s rain coat and runs away

Deeper level: What if Emily’s psychiatrist was Susan, Hagan’s wife whom Emily pushed and accidentally killed a while ago? She can have a flashback triggered by Hagan when she sees him

Hagan TJ 4: Hagan returns to the chapel and is approached by Detective Mike who is investigating Hagan’s father’s death

Emily PJ 4: Emily eavesdrops a conversation where detective Mike interrogates and tries to corner Hagan for his father’s bizarre death

Deeper layer: Younger Hagan attempted to burn his drunken father to death when he saw him killing his mother

Hagan TJ 5: Hagan gets a sample of his late father’s charred skin and leaves. Mike threatens to catch Hagan for what he did

Emily PJ 5: Emily waits for Mike to leave, then rushes after Hagan toward the door, but…

Walter AJ 5: Walter grabs Emily by her ankles, trying to pull her into the hole on the floor, justifying as trying to protect her from Hagan

Deeper layer: Walter was Emily’s boyfriend for a short while before she fell in love with Hagan.The three of them grew up together in Hagan’s father’s estate

Emily PJ 6: Emily frees herself up from Walter’s clutches, runs toward Susan’s car and drives off clumsily

TURNING POINT 1: Emily escapes from her self-induced confinement

ACT 2: Emily seeks Hagan’s help finding her daughter

Walter AJ 6: Walter watches Emily steering away in Susan’s car. He glances at Emily’s window, and limps in the direction toward the house

Emily PJ 7: Steams by a stalled police car with Detective Mike looking under its hood.

Walter AJ 7: Walter gets into Emily’s room finding Susan in a pool of blood on the floor. He asks about what Emily remembered and what she wants, then grabs Emily’s sketches book. He uses Susan’s finger to dial 911 and leaves her barely alive with a phone in her hand

(OR: No Susan, no blood, just Emily’s sketches book, and Walter seeing Susan in a pool of blood in a flashback)

Deeper layer: Detective Mike receives a call from the police about Kingsleys’ estate, then drives off after Emily.

(OR: He sees Emily accelerating by and calls to inquire about her license plate – revealed as Hagan’s dead wife’s car)

Emily PJ 8: Emily notices police car chasing her, accelerates, looses control and slams into a tree

Walter AJ 8: Walter returns to the chapel, skims through Emily’s notebook, arranges a circle of candles by the altar in a way that resembles her drawing, then descends into the hole on the floor

(OR: threatens Evans so he can reveal where Hunter is)

Emily PJ 9: Emily gets a ride in detective Mike’s car, who asks navigating questions to confuse Emily. She tells Mike her visions about the cult, the tunnel, mentions her missing daughter, ostensibly in danger, and pleads to help her meet Hagan. Mike is intrigued. They arrive at Hagan’s nightclub. Mike cuffs Emily’s hands and takes her inside.

Hagan TJ 6: Hagan sips Ayahuasca drink and dives into a flashback of the Younger self running away from his deranged drunkard father

Emily PJ 10: Mike leaves Emily with Teresa, a barista, and asks her to bring Emily to Hagan’s office in 15 minutes

Hagan TJ 7: Gets interrogated by Mike who pressures him to admit killing his wife and his missing child

Deeper layer: Hagan’s wife is said to commit suicide in the tunnel by his club. Hagan is a suspect. They had a daughter who is presumed missing, but in reality she’s raised by LW.

(New version: Walter has a flashback of seeing Susan (Hagan’s wife) killed, and dragging her away. He could have brought her into the tunnel and left her by Hagan’s club to set him up).

Emily PJ 11: Teresa, who claims attending the same boarding school as Emily, listens to Emily’s cry about her missing daughter being in danger and suggests talking to Cherimoya who knows Hagan well. They call Cherimoya

Deeper level: Teresa wants to marry Walter and is jealous of his love for Emily

Walter/ as Cherimoya AJ 9: In VO, Cherimoya agrees to meet Emily in an abandoned tunnel at midnight

Emily PJ 12: Teresa brings Emily to Hagan’s office. Mike watches their reaction. Emily backs away

Hagan TJ 8: Hagan offers Mike a bribe to find Kingsley’s family records book. Mike agrees, then leaves

Emily PJ 13: Emily convinces Mike to meet Cherimoya in an abandoned tunnel

Walter/ as Cherimoya AJ 10: Cherimoya learns from Teresa that Emily thinks that her daughter is alive

Hagan TJ 9: Hagan has a flashback where his drunken father kills his mother, Younger Hagan sets him on fire, and Younger Emily pulls Hagan out of the maid’s quarters, barely alive

Emily PJ 14: Emily and Mike find a manhole on the street to get into the tunnel. Reluctantly, Emily goes in

Hagan TJ 10: Teresa tells Hagan that Emily and Mike were talking about abandoned tunnels

Walter/ as Cherimoya AJ 11: Cherimoya calls Hagan to inform him about Ayahuasca meeting

Deeper layer: Hagan runs Ayahuasca healing retreat for troubled youth and misfits

Emily PJ 15: In the tunnel, Emily, enchanted by an unfolding, wild Halloween party, looses sight of Mike and gets lost. She asks around for Cherimoya

Hagan/ as Phantom TJ 11: Hagan, in a Phantom’s costume, finds Emily. They dance. He asks navigating questions about what she remembers from her past

Emily PJ 16: Emily confesses her feelings for Hagan, the boy she fell in love with, in a flashback to their childhood where they break up under the rain

Walter as Cherimoya AJ 12: Cherimoya watches Emily dance with the Phantom (Hagan), and sends a messenger to notify Hagan that everything is ready for the ceremony

Hagan/ as Phantom TJ 12: The Phantom apologizes to Emily and leaves, asking his employees to keep an eye on Emily

Walter/ as Cherimoya AJ 13: Cherimoya catches Emily having withdrawal from meds and offers help. She takes Emily to a secret Ayahuasca gathering where during a bizarre ritual, Emily takes the drink

Emily PJ 17: While purging from Ayahuasca, Emily experiences petrifying visions from her past, the cult’s ritual, and bizarre creature abolishing her family so he can get to Hunter

TURNING POINT 2/ MIDPOINT: In her vision, Hagan is revealed as a leader of the cult, where he conducts a sacrificial ritual on Hunter all covered in blood

ACT 3: Character rethinks their journey and makes a real change to solve things

Emily suspects Hagan of being the leader of the cult who threatens her daughter’s life

Emily PJ 18: Emily sees vivid visions of the Phantoms, Cherimoya, and LW gathered for a sacrificial ritual

Hagan/ as Phantom TJ 13: The Phantom sends Cherimoya to bring Emily back to the estate.

(OR: Cherimoya snatches Emily before Hagan, lying that he asked her to bring Emily to his place to meet. In this case, need Hagan learn that Emily was taken by Cherimoya, so he goes back to the estate looking for her. Also, set up in a prior scene that he asks his assistant (or Cherimoya) to bring Emily to the ceremony

Walter /Cherimoya AJ 14: Cherimoya asks questions about Emily’s visions while driving back to the estate. Emily gets sick and throws up.

(NOTE: May need to add a scene of Cheri carrying Emily to the chapel.

Emily PJ 19: Emily wakes up in the basement warehouse (under the chapel) in someone else’s made up bed, naked. She finds her clothes neatly stacked up on bed (does Walter have an OCD – show this throughout the script). She gets dressed and wonders around

Hagan TJ 14: Hagan receives a call about family records book on his way to the estate

(OR as he does, then heads to the Estate. NEED to make a stronger reason for him to go there, such as making his decision on a competitive basis or out of threat to either Emily or the estate)

Emily PJ 20: Emily finds manikins concealed under a veil. (Later revealed as wearing facial latex masks resembling her relatives who’ve been missing or killed). She stumbles upon a manikin resembling Teresa,

(OR: Teresa wearing Emily’s face latex mask, which starts shedding tears. In this case, Emily can yank it off, revealing Teresa). (NOTE: Need a scene before where Teresa gets drugged by Cherimoya/ Walter?? Is she in the car with Em? Does Walter feel threatened by Teresa?)

Walter/ Phantom AJ 15: Walter, dressed as the Phantom, dances with Emily. The lights from the approaching car beam through a narrow hole in the window blinding Emily. After a moment, she finds herself alone staring at Phantom’s cape and the mask on the floor

Hagan TJ 15: Hagan looks for Arthur Kingsley’s relief statue in the chapel

OR: Looks for Hunter (NEED to set this up), and finds her plaster phantom’s statue, devastated.

NOTE: Does he get attacked/ fights with Walter? Who tells him about Arthur’s statue?

Emily PJ 21: Looking for Hagan, Emily walks into a shady nook with Walter, sitting alone, tied up onto a chair

(NOTE: set his ability to tie up knots earlier). Also need to set up Walter’s disappearance earlier

Walter AJ 16: Walter tries to convince Emily that he knows where Hunter is. He lures her closer, asking her help to untie his hands

Emily PJ 22: Emily unties Walter’s hands

Walter AJ 17: He grabs Emily and rips her clothes off. (IMPORTANT! For Emily to get the cloaks). She fights back. Walter threatens to reveal that Emily murdered Hagan’s wife, Susan. Emily subsides, drowning in guilt.

Hagan TG 16: Hearing noise from under the ground, Hagan descends into a hole on the floor, and finds Emily half naked, in Walter’s embrace. Heartbroken, he backs away

Emily PJ 23: Emily fights Walter, trying to go after Hagan

TURNING POINT 3: MAJOR TWIST: Walter takes over Emily’s quest to pursue Hagan

Walter AJ 18: Walter ties Emily’s hands and tells her that Hagan is the leader of the cult who disguises himself as his victims, and that Hagan is deviously dangerous, he forces everyone to do his dirty job for him. Walter runs after Hagan ostensibly to stop him hurting Hunter

(NOTE: Show Walter seeing Hagan parking his car before he tries to seduce Emily)

ACT 4: Climax. The Ultimate Expression of the Conflict:

EVERYTHING in this act is a PLACEHOLDER. No sense of direction – yet.

Walter AJ 19: Walter slips into LW’s bedroom, grabs her empty wheelchair and rolls it toward the closet. He takes LW’s funeral dress, and smirks: Show time, Lady Winslet! Show time.

NOTE: (does he find Hunter there, in tears, scared to death?)

Emily PJ 24: Emily tries to free herself up and knocks a few candles off the bed. The fire catches curtains engulfing everything on its way. Teresa, barely alive, manages to crawl toward Emily, unties her hands, then faints. Emily subdues the fire, pulls Teresa to a safe corner, then grabs a hooded cloak from a manikin, then heads out.

Hunter: Hunter sobs in semi-darkness sitting next to the wrapped, mummified corpse. She freaks out hearing screeching of the door.

??? Emily PJ 25: Emily goes through a narrow tunnel.

(Need tis here?) She hears soft sobbing, then stops to listen

FLASHBACK HERE?: An a dark tunnel, an 8 y.o. girl is led by a Man.They talk about Angels

Hagan TG 17: Hagan passes by hooded phantoms busy arranging the pedestal with a small figure under the cape. He notices Hunter’s plaster phantom, and stops to investigate

Walter/Lady Winslet TJ 20: Lady Winslet sits on a wheelchair squeezing an embroidered pillow

Emily PJ 24: Emily climbs up the ladder and pushes stone slate aside, and comes up in the middle of the ritual. She approaches the altar blending in between the Phantoms dressed in hooded cloaks. They chant around a body on a pedestal under a cape embroidered with the COA

Celebrant: A celebrant face concealed under the hood, mumbles Gregorian chant, circling the body on the pedestal. The Phantoms point swords at the body

Emily PJ 25: Emily breaks through the circle of Phantoms, and gets caught. She pleads LW to stop the ceremony.

Walter/ Lady Winslet 21: Does something (OR says something) provocative to set up Hagan

Emily PJ 26: Emily responds with hesitation (dilemma)

NOTE: Emily has to be given a gun OR has a gun. By whom? How did she get it? From Evans?

Walter/ as Hagan AJ 21: Impatient, screams at Emily a certain word of encouragement

Emily PJ 27: Emily recognizes the word, switches her aim at Lady Winslet, misfires, then drops the gun in terror

Walter/ LW 22: manages to grab the gun and shoots at Hagan, wounding him, then careens and hits a decrepit pole, which crashes, making a huge gap on the floor. Everyone falls into the hole

Emily PJ 28: Emily sees Hunter under a debris, and digs her out, barely alive. Just then, the ceiling of the chapel gives in and collapses, covering everyone with deteriorated planks and dust

Resolution: Their world has changed

Emily PJ 29: In the hospital visits Hagan bound to bed. Lady Winslet’s lawyer comes with announcement that Lady Winslet’s body was never found, which means that no one can inherit the estate. The Lawyer steps out and brings Hunter in. She runs to Hagan calling him Daddy, and proclaiming her love to him

Hagan TJ 18: Hagan whispers words of love to Emily

Emily PJ 30: Emily experiences a vision of her Younger Self dancing with Younger Hagan, where they almost seal their love with a kiss

Epilogue:

Flashback: Evans puts Lady Winslet’s latex mask over Walter’s head, who is in a coffin, making sure he resembles Lady Winslet. He puts Lady Winslet’s pillow into her hands, then discovers something inside it. He rips the pillow apart, and finds an envelope.

Hunter, Hagan and Emily attend Lady Winslet’s funeral. Emily holds Hagan’s hand, and the will in her other hand, where they both are made an equal heir.

[Susan Arnout Smith]

Susan Arnout Smith’s Great Amazing Vision: I easily co-create with the Creator projects that are produced, win awards, heal hearts and bring me professional respect, financial abundance and time to explore the world with my family and friends.

What I learned from this assignment: It’s great to start to get the beats down in a cohesive way.

Genre: SciFi/ Drama

ACT 1: The Prophesy Finds its Mark

Esme PJ 1: 12-year-old Halfling Esme Cooper attacks her nemesis, Gisselda. At issue is whether a Halfling (Esme) will ever become the next High Priestess, even though the role has been in Esme’s mother’s pureblood family line for centuries.

Esme PJ 2: Esme fights with her mother to be allowed to attend a Soul Binding as a means of proving her worth. Only the High Priestess, and Esme hopes the HP-in- waiting, are able to see soul-fragments. It’s way too dangerous; her mother refuses.

H3M3 (Queen) AJ 1: H3M3 unearths an ancient prophesy and pays extra to activate the curse buried inside it.

Deeper Layer: H3M3 is taking no chances: her goal is to destroy the High Priestess line, and especially Esme, along with the island kingdom of Cantoria.

H3M3 (Queen) AJ2: The Queen, in the looming large mainland kingdom next to the island, finds the perfect victim. The woman’s eviscerated.

INCITING INCIDENT: In a risky and brash move, Esme disobeys her mother, and climbs into the sky following her mother to find the current soul fragment. She’s attacked by gyres, and only her mother’s skills bring Esme and the soul-fragment back safely into the Binder tent.

Esme PJ 3: Esme is punished by the Binder women, but allowed to watch the Soul Binding as her mother reunites the soul fragment with the woman we now recognize as the Queen’s victim.

H3M3 (Queen) AJ3: The fragment is reunited with the eviscerated woman…who morphs into a molten silvery assassin creature.

Deeper Layer: The Queen has breached the security of Cantoria. The destruction has begun.

Esme PJ4: The Binder women meld into a fighting force to protect their High Priestess…and Esme.

H3M3 (Queen): AJ 4: The creature uses acid and other weapons to chew through the Binders (who now have been joined by the Benders, (the Cantorian security arm).

TURNING POINT 1: As the assassin melts into acid, it delivers the ancient prophesy: Cantoria will die at the hands of a child: Esme!

ACT 2: Lessons Learned

Esme PJ 5: Completely shocked by the security breach, carnage and the prophesy, Esme is sequestered for her own protection. She tries multiple ways to prove the prophesy false and to take off of her family the community’s outrage and belief that Esme’s behavior caused all the ruin that followed. Everything she tries fails.

H3M3 AJ5: The Queen savagely punishes those she holds responsible for the screw-up. She had intended the assassin to make quick work of the High Priestess and Esme. Now she must activate Plan B.

Deeper Layer: The Queen prepares for a vicious invasion of Cantoria.

Esme PJ 6: Esme’s sent to live with her dad in the Outlier compound. He takes the prophesy very seriously. As a former Navy Seal, he teaches her multiple ways to defend herself for what he knows is a coming war.

Turning point 2/Midpoint: Cantoria is invaded by the Queen’s army. Esme and her immediate family escape Cantoria, headed for Earth.

Act 3: Shifting identities

Esme PJ 7: Esme’s mother gives her a necklace and wraps her in a mantle of forgetfulness to protect her. She’s cautioned by both parents she must never remember her old life, as they will be able to track her signal that way.

H3M3 AJ 7: The Queen indeed is tracking them. She sends her best team after them. They lose the signal (when Esme is wrapped in the cloak of forgetfulness). Outraged, the Queen picks a new path.

H3M3 AJ 8: She creates an avatar to ‘place-hold’ as Queen, tries on various identities, and settles on one. The ancient keeper of the prophesy appears and reminds the Queen of the ‘rules’. The curse she bought is clear: Esme can only be killed…as Esme…and the Queen…must be in her own form. The battle for Cantoria must occur…on Cantoria. ‘Rules is rules.’ If the Queen violates these rules she’ll die a horrible death and her kingdom will be forever blotted from history.

Esme PJ 8: Esme’s family crash-lands on Earth. She’s got amnesia when she wakes up in a hospital room. She remembers nothing of who she is or where she came from. She picks Rose as her name.

H3M3 (now Mary) AJ 9: Mary Fortuna meets Esme in the hospital. She’s a wise-cracking, fun and fierce advocate for homeless kids. She promises Esme (Rose) she’ll help her remember who she is.

Esme PJ 9: Esme realizes the necklace produces brief flashes of memory. She relates these to her protector, Mary, who has found a place for her in a foster home.

Deeper Layer: Mary urgently needs to get ‘Rose’ back to being ‘Esme’ so Esme will feel compelled to return to Cantoria to save her island and her people. And…there’s another group now tracking Esme by her ‘light flashes’.

Croom TJ 1 We introduce Croom, the triangle character. Croom’s doing an entire section on ‘extra special abilities’. Esme (Rose) is in many ways an innocent. The mantle of forgetfulness has also affected her ability to intuit danger.

Esme PJ 10: Esme is befriended by her science teacher at the school for the homeless. As a growing girl, she’s feeling a bit of chafing at how constricted an rein Mary has on her. She likes that she’s meeting people on her own; it makes her feel grown up. Croom natural desire to separate out and skillfully separates her out from Mary, tricking her into not going back to her foster home.

Croom, TJ 2: Croom takes a select group of students on a ‘field trip’. He shows them where he works, a magical bookstore that will take them through books where ever their hearts desire. And then somehow, the others peel off, (arranged by Croom), leaving Esme with Croom. The ceiling soften, becomes porous, disappears. It reveals the sky. Esme sees for the first time soul fragments in the Earth’s sky. Croom is triumphant, but carefully keeps this to himself. Esme/Rose, is, indeed, the ‘real deal’. He can make a lot of money out of her gift.

Deeper layer: We see that yes, she does have the special Cantorian powers that would lead to her being the next High Priestess. And her level of danger just keeps getting higher. And we know that while Mary (the Queen), is trying to kill Esme, Cantoria, and finish off the line of Soul Binders completely, Croom, on the other hand, is trying to use her powers for ill and wants to enslave her on Earth. (So going back to Cantoria means death—at the Queen’s hands, staying on Earth means death (enslavement) by Croom. Nothing’s safe.

Esme PJ 11: What Esme sees in the Earth’s sky confuses and terrifies her: Now that she can see them, on Earth the sky is literally jammed with soul fragments, traumatized ‘bits’ of people trapped out of time.

Croom TJ 3: Croom claims that Mary is the danger…and that with Esme’s help, he can get Esme back to her ‘own kind’. If….Esme assists him with capturing soul fragments. He earnestly tells her she must block Mary’s energy. Mary is the enemy. The danger. He assures her she can do this, she’s just demonstrated her power. This is just another part of it.

Deeper Layer: Croom pretends he has a humane system of reuniting soul fragments with their wounded bodies. He makes her believe this by using her new, revealed knowledge and hunger for home to entrap her.

H3M3 (Mary): AJ 10: Mary knows exactly the danger Croom represents. She goes on the hunt for him. Her powers of connection with Rose/Esme have been ‘blocked’, something Esme did at Croom’s urgent suggestion.

Croom TJ4: Croom encourages Esme/Rose to try her first soul retrieval of a fragment. She’s not to worry about finding the wounded body it belongs to; Croom will take care of that part. Her part is just to pick a fragment and bring it safely down to Earth.

Esme PJ 12: The sky is so full it’s hard to pick. Esme ‘sees’ herself lifting into the sky…and she manifests this. Suddenly, she’s airborne. Esme picks a fragment out that’s vibrating at a very high frequency of terror, a small child repeating the moment when the ‘fracture’ happened.

Deeper Layer: Esme is in line now to be the High Priestess. She is Esme. Her memories come flooding back. Including her mother, her mother’s gift, and now the realization that she, Esme, is the proven heir to her mother: The High Priestess in Waiting. She’s exultant and in awe. She can fly. She can soothe. She can retrieve.

Mary AJ 11: Mary’s been on the lookout for this moment. The instant Esme connects with her true power/nature and retrieves the soul fragment, the ‘fog’ Esme/Rose placed around herself splits apart; her light is too big. Mary instantly sees Esme’s energetic form. Mary doesn’t fly skyward: that would ruin her cover. She waits on the ground and figures out where Esme is headed.

Croom TJ5: Croom tracks her progress and guides her to him. Back to the innocuous looking bookstore, but it’s magic, with multiple ‘backrooms.

Esme PJ 13: Esme tenderly carries in the soul fragment, reassuring it that it’s soon to be healed, soon to be reunited with its human body that it fled at its moment of severe trauma. Esme is about to hand over the fragment to Croom.

Mary AJ 12: Mary stops her just in time. Croom was feeding the soul fragments into a hideous big machine to get all the ‘juice’ out. He’s selling the fragments to rich worldly patrons as the fountain of youth.

Croom TJ6: If he can’t have the soul fragment, he’ll take Esme, and keep her power harnessed on a wheel so that all she sees is a repeat over and over of Cantoria at its most powerful. He captures and contains her.

TP 3 Act 4: Esme rights the world

Mary AJ 13 Mary grabs Esme back—hard–and sends her to stay with her paternal grandparents, retired farmers in Kansas. Mary ‘handles’ Croom, by putting him in his machine, extracting his ‘juice’. It’s pure evil, and an extra weapon she can use to infuse herself when necessary. Note: we may only see this in flash blacks, when Mary is revealed to be the Queen.

Esme PJ 14: Esme’s powers reveal that her father’s parents have been killed and the two imposters were sent by the Queen to hold her captive until the Queen could kill her. She subdues the two.

Mary AJ 14 Mary is right behind, ready to do battle with the two imposters to save the child. Together, she and Esme neutralize the two imposters. She offers to ‘adopt’ Esme.

Deeper Layer: It takes both Mary and Esme’s power to subdue and neutralize the imposter grandparents. Esme still hasn’t attained her true powers yet. She’s only seen glimpses of what she could be. Mary is trying to control Esme’s power, and ultimately, her life.

Esme PJ 15 Esme discovers the prototype her father told her about that he built to use to traverse the distance between Earth and Cantoria. She’s going home and nothing and no one can stop her.

Mary AJ 15 Impulsively, Mary climbs in at the last second. It’s too late to turn around.

Deeper Layer. The farther they get, the more Mary ‘slips’.

Esme PJ 16 Esme goes from trusting Mary to doubting her to being afraid of her.

Mary AJ 16 Mary struggles to keep the persona of Mary intact, but as they get closer to Cantoria, her actual body starts to distort into something

Deeper Layer. Esme realizes she’s been with the Queen this entire time, and now the Queen is going to kill her. The Queen’s been party to seeing all her vulnerabilities and weaknesses.

Esme PJ 17: Esme’s childhood friend, Bodhi, now a captain in the Bender security guard, surrounds the ship and stops them. Esme is thrilled to have an ally and a fierce one at that.

Queen AJ 17 The fight for Cantoria begins in earnest. The kingdom has been put under a spell so they are slaves to the queen and are part of the attack quard.

Esme PJ 18: Esme and her forces and the Queen and her forces have a fight that escalates. Bodhi is revealed to be enchanted by the Queen: Esme must win this battle herself. In even fiercer fighting, summoning all she knows and is, and rallying the community behind her once more, Esme finds her parents and sister. They rally to her side.

Queen AJ 18 Queen corners Esme and reveals the why, the big secret: The Queen is Esme’s grandmother. She misused the High Priestess power to create her own kingdom and was banished from Cantoria forever. (Goodness trumps evil, unless good is killed.)

Esme AJ 19. Knowing the ‘secret’, Esme is able to put all her sacred and secret knowledge to work. She stops the Queen.

Resolution: Esme becomes the High Priestess and leader of Cantoria. The Queen is neutralized and her kingdom is freed. The scary and ancient curse is turned on the Queen.

Cantoria with Esme as the young leader is saved, badly wounded, back alive as a kingdom. The Queen’s reign is blown up, and her along with it. Esme and Bodhi are still not reconciled but there’s a path back to friendship.

[Elizabeth Wang-Lee]

Elizabeth’s Beat Sheet Draft 1

My Vision: I write kickass, creative and emotional blockbuster movies, TV series and graphic novels like my writing heroes (eg. Jonathan Nolan, Joseph Weisberg, etc.) and be in constant demand.

What I learned from doing this assignment: I learned that by systematically adding components of what we learned about character and genre information such as intrigue and subtext, we create the initial beats of the story.

ACT 1: Rizzo’s brother is missing.

· Beginning:

Rizzo must make a presentation to the University of her memory recall system which she and her brother developed or risk losing all funding.

Deeper Layer: She feels she can’t do it without her brother and he’s been missing for months.

PJ: At the end of the presentation, Rizzo is sedated and kidnapped.

Deeper Layer: Rizzo has agoraphobia.

· Inciting Incident: Rizzo is led to her missing brother Marcus who was injured and suffering from PTSD after a secret mission .

PJ: Rizzo is asked to join in a secret assignment . She refuses high hell until the Commander dangles her brother’s name Marcus.

Deeper Layer: She does not know that it’s not just “any mission” that her brother took on.

PJ: Rizzo is happily reunited with an injured Marcus (Marcus Doppler).

AJ: Marcus Doppler must pass Rizzo’s scrutiny.

Deeper Layer: She does not know that her brother is not her brother. She never wants to lose her brother again and she will do anything to make sure it won’t happen

· Turning Point 1: After Rizzo enters Marcus’ memory to review, it ‘appears’ Marcus has killed his squad leader BECKER in the last mission.

PJ: Rizzo goes into Marcus’ memory and discovers the secret mission that Marcus went on.

Deeper Layer: Rizzo does not know the Marcus in front of her is an imposter- Marcus Doppler.

In the Memory:

3^rd J: Marcus encounters strange impossible and scary situations. .

AJ: Marcus Doppler attacks Marcus from behind.

Deeper Layer AJ: Marcus Doppler is able to suppress/hide his memory.

AJ: After the battle Marcus Doppler walks over to check out what looks like a dead Becker.

Meanwhile, Everyone watching the Memory: It appears Marcus killed Becker.

Deeper Layer: And Marcus Doppelganger is able to hide parts of his actual memory but not everything.

AJ: The Commander puts Marcus Doppler under house arrest after seeing what looks like Marcus Doppler killing Becker.

PJ:: Rizzo is shocked and vows to defend Marcus Doppler and prove his innocence. Nurse promises she’ll take care of Marcus Doppler.

· Act 2: Rizzo dives into Marcus’ memory and discovers that his memory cannot go further back than 1^stand 2^nd mission. She thinks it is amnesia induced by PTSD.

PJ: Rizzo meets Frank who was on the last mission. He doesn’t like her. Thinks she is meddling in men’s business. But there is some kind of sexual attraction between the two.

Deeper Layer: Rizzo does not know Frank had a row with Marcus over Marcus’s past.

PJ: Rizzo meets the nurse who introduces Rizzo to Sara and Billy who were rescued in the last mission.

Deeper Layer: Rizzo and everyone at HQ does not know Billy is not who they think he is.

PJ: Rizzo is introduced to HQ Control room and the rest of the team. She visits every aspect of the control room.

Deeper Layer: Rizzo suss’ out the layout and the likelihood of her leaving with Marcus Doppler.

PJ: Rizzo is back inside Marcus Doppler’s memory, reviewing it. She encounters some blocks- dead ends (which we saw in the first play thru). The power goes out.

Miller J: Miller the assistant works to bring the generator back on.

PJ: -She catches a glimpse of a silhouette behind a wall after Marcus Doppler and Marcus have their fight. She moves towards it and it disappears. She jumps out of the memory. She wants another pass could reap more memories

Deeper Layer AJ: When the power is out Marcus Doppler is able to knock out the guard.

· Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Sara who was saved in the last mission is mysteriously killed and her boy Billy survives, and Marcus is the first suspect.

PJ: Rizzo and Miller have been asked to sick bay where the nurse and Sara’s bloody and ravaged bodies lie. Billy is shuddering in the corner. Who is the killer? Marcus Doppler? How can he get out of his room. He has a 24 hr guard.

Frank: Frank tells everyone that ever since Rizzo arrived, there has been nothing but bad things happening.

The Commander: The Commander sounds high security alert.

PJ: Rizzo tells Commander she needs more time with Marcus and must do another memory recall to reap deeper memory cells. At first the Commander refuses, but then acquiesce

AJ: Rizzo tells Marcus Doppler she wants another memory recall. Marcus Doppler doesn’t like to have his memory tampered with. He gets angry and chokes Rizzo.

PJ: Rizzo jabs Marcus Doppler sedating him.

PJ: After entering Marcus Doppler’s memory and searching out clues… She’s able to peer deeper due to the sedation.

PJ: Rizzo tells Miller she surmises he might be an imposter and her brother is still in Black Time.

AJ: Marcus Doppler tells her he wasn’t too thrilled about being jabbed and asks her what she is looking for.

PJ: Scared, Rizzo hides her knowledge. Tells Marcus Doppler that she is just recalling the moment of him not killing Becker so that he can be free of the accusation. Just doing it for him.

AJ: Meanwhile. Marcus Doppler kills Miller.

PJ: Rizzo comes out of the memory to face Marcus Doppler choking her! A life and death Battle ensues between Rizzo and Marcus Doppler. A guard fights Marcus Doppler. Marcus Doppler kills the guard and hears people coming. He escapes.

· End of Act 2: Suddenly Miller is killed. This shocks everyone. Marcus Doppler is on the loose.

· Change in Reality: He’s the killer.

· Act 3: Rizzo figures she must go to Black Time to find the real Marcus. She focusses her efforts to get to Black Time.

PJ: Rizzo tells the Commander her findings and that her real brother is trapped in Black Time. She wants to go into Black Time to search for him.

The Commander: The Commander refuses her request. Says Frank can lead a small, short mission.

The Commander: The commander prepares Frank for a search and rescue mission.

PJ: Rizzo sneeks in with the group.

· Turning Point 3: Huge failure / Major shift: Rizzo arrives in Black Time. There she confronts her own doppleganger.

PJ: Rizzo wakes up confronted by her own Doppler.

Deeper Layer: Rizzo confronts her doppler. Knowing now that there are dopplers confirms her actions.

Frank: Frank is pissed that it’s Rizzo. He leaves her. She follows along.

PJ: She tells Frank only she knows where to search since she reviewed the memory and Frank wasn’t there. Frank acquiesce to her logic..

PJ: They discover a seriously injured Marcus alive!

3^rd J: Marcus knew she would come for him. He looks a wreck. Black Time is deteriorating him. Becker and Billy are alive too.

PJ: Protects Marcus as they battle thru the onslaught of Dopplers.

· Act 4 Climax: When they are back, Marcus Doppler and Billy Doppler stand in their way in front of HQ. A huge clash and battle. Marcus and Rizzo work together to save each other.

PJ: Rizzo and everyone walk into the control room. It looks a little quiet. They discover everyone sitting on the floor, held hostage.

AJ: Marcus Doppler and Billy Doppler are watching guard. They tell them they can’t let them back in because they want to stay in this world. They want this life here.

PJ: Rizzo and the team battled the Dopplers. Both Marcus Doppler and Billy Doppler die.

· Resolution – the new world: Marcus Doppler and Billy Doppler are dead. Rizzo thwarted a potential portal opening for other dopplers.

PJ: Rizzo is sitting with Frank. Oscar is with her.

[Jamie Handley]

Jamie Handley MOD 4 DAY 3

Because of a life rights bailout and waiting on one last copyright permission (now have) I had to reconstruct my entire script’s story. The concept is the same.

After an horrific accident, a woman shares her knowledge of medical negligence to her friends until she discovers the medical mafia and her closest friend is about to undergo a complex surgery by a surgeon who is connected to the mob.

WITHOUT RECOURSE “INSPIRED BY A TRUE STORY”

In order to get to the first draft, MOD 5, I will come back daily to do the lessons in MOD 4 (which I feel is very important) one day at a time. For now this is my rough outline.

ACT 1

Arizona 2020

Justine is royally pissed off at someone (Marsha) on the phone, screaming and we hear the conversation. She’s a real bitch.

Justine’s been caring for her dying mother for seven years, exhausted and has physical issues. She wears a full back brace. Her mother, Sarah, falls, becomes unconscious. Firemen and ambulance attend to her. The chaos and sirens stir an old memory of a horrific accident she had years ago that changed her life forever.

FLASHBACK

JUNE 1994 Lake Tahoe, Nevada

Justine is in a complicated relationship with Davidson Wentworth, a wealthy, good looking slick man. She is financially dependent on him with her floral shop. The shop is her life until her accident, is airflighted to a Reno Hospital. An ambulance chaser lawyer finds her in hospital, she’s tempted to sign but her associate at the shop, Gemma, squashes that. She’s bedridden for days, released from hospital, has Gemma to help her while Davidson out of town.

When he returns she has nothing nice to say. In fact she can’t stand him right now. He doesn’t want to get involved.

Weeks are spent between the shop, medical issues and legal meetings. She finds a local attorney in town, William Randell who she signs with until later he fails to show in court. Her case is thrown out of court. Justine turns into a real bitch again. Snappy and short tempered. Now she has to plead to Davidson for help, once again at his mercy. He offers his attorney, Donavon Pierce.

Gemma brings up how crooked Donavon is, heard he was part of a new mafia, the medical mafia (signs with him anyway) Gemma thinks Davidson is around waiting for his share of the money or make her sell the shop. Justine doesn’t believe either.

Tired of the pain, the pills, office visits, is advised by seven surgeons that she needs surgery except one, who she blows up at in his office, but soon after she succumbs. She calls a close friend, Jax, a renowned floral designer, for help with the shop but to no avail. Calls daughter, Gracie, who comes to Tahoe while she goes to…

Turning Point

California, where her mother, Sarah, lives and has the surgery, almost dies. As she heals, Donovan calls about the settlement offer, she refuses. Davidson intervenes, meets with Donovan, he has his ways with Justine. He’ll get her to agree. She returns to Tahoe, Gracie returns home.

Reunited, happy to see the shop doing well and Gemma, Gemma happens to bring “the medical mafia article” to the shop for Justine to see. It shows a photo of the two men involved. Justine is still in disbelief, thinks it’s all politics.

Conference – Justine meets with Davidson before the final settlement offer hearing. At the meeting it’s the “good-old-boys” (Judge Blankenship, Donovan and Davidson) who all went to school together.

She is pressured to take the final offer, by the Judge and Donovan. However, final payment could take months because she signed a LOP (Letter of Protection aka medical lien) with Donovan. They settle out of court, but something doesn’t feel right to Justine, but what?

Davidson and Justine attend a large party with A-list professionals, investors, doctors etc. When the Judge and Donovan arrive this causes a big problem with Justine. She soon learns that Davidson is an investor in companies she’s never heard about. Who is he really?

NOTE – HERE’S WHERE WE MEET THE BIG ROLLERS IN THE MAFIA

AT A PARTY; Davidson, Donovan, Lucas, Judge, Dr. Sherman (Jax & Marsha’s surgeon) Neil Watson (Insurance adjuster @ settlement & 2 other men), Edward Grant CEO of D.W.E. Services, Inc./ medical & legal services (Davidson is an investor) and other faces in the court case and places to come. Several people are attending but not known at this stage of Act 1.

That night Justine finds an enormous wad of cash, a check (stating referral fee) from Donovan to Davidson and confronts him. Referral for what? He won’t say. None of her fucking business. They have a row, (she doesn’t know him kind of fight) and decides to leave him, close the shop and move to Arizona where it’s warm and good for her body. And she does.

ACT 2

BACK TO SCENE

2020 The beginning of COVID in ARIZONA

Justine falls over the oxygen line of Sarah’s and breaks her hip. Justine fakes that she has no pain until it’s so bad she is unable to walk. She calls Gracie to come help with Sarah but she’s the one who needs help but would never admit it.

Gracie shows up, moves in, but brings her significant other, Nathan with her, without asking or letting anyone know. This is a big upset, for everyone, even for Sarah. Sarah confronts Gracie with a lecture, men, money, future and health.

Justine must have surgery, signs an AMA, (Against Medical Advise) and walks out of hospital day after surgery. Two days later Sarah dies. Justine is devastated and despondent. She receives insurance money that Sarah left for her. (Sarah no longer cares about money like she once did)

Jax comes to help Justine and Gracie. Jax demands Justine come back with him to San Diego and recoup. She packs and goes with him.

Turing Point 2

SAN DIEGO

Little by little Jax helps her come around; walks on beach, dinners. The two go out to Lips, a drag queen dinner show, where Jax, a real boozer, meets up with his lover, Lucas Pierce, a good looking lawyer.

She gets drunk. Lucas and Justine spar over the law, brings up her court case and the good-old-boys and mafia. Big difference of opinion, she doesn’t like him. Next day she returns home.

ARIZONA

NOTE: WORK ON THIS….Gracie has the house decorated with Christmas. It feels good to be home for the first time in a long time. Could things get to being normal?

Turning Point 2/Midpoint

NEVADA

Lucas calls Justine to notify that Jax was in an accident but not a bad one. They went to Las Vegas to party but he’s going to stay with his mother, Karlie, who has a good doctor and lawyer. He hits Ellis Kilpatrick, an FBI agent.

Jax needs Gracie to cover an important event for him.

NOTE: AT HOTEL, CONFERENCE WITH THE MEDICAL DEVICE MAKERS. We see a lot of the familiar faces of surgeons.

ARIZONA

Justine gets on the phone, preaches about doctors and lawyers in Nevada. She shares the story of a friend, Marsha, who lives in Vegas whose spine caved in after a surgery there. His name doesn’t come to mind. MONTAGE OR SERIES – Sharing the story of lifelong friend, Marsha.

NOTE: Surgery is with Dr. Sherman & Cohen. Marsha’s lawyer is Donald Wittman.

Justine has her monthly visit with her primary, Dr. T. She questions is knowledge of the medical mafia, is it real? Dr. T. evades the question. [ETHICS] She borrows a book (Danger Within Us) from him.

Gracie gets package from Lucas with all the arrangements for the San Diego event. Jax has her to sign a confidential document, (like the one they did in Hawaii at a very private affair). She pays no mind. Nathan is pissed. They argue, she’s about done with him.

Justine and Gracie go to airport. Gracie confides about Nathan with Justine. They go their separate ways.

ACT 3

NEVADA

Justine arrives in Nevada to see Jax. At the hospital, TWO men shake hands, (Lucas and Granger) another with his back turned (Dr. Taylor Sherman) as he talks with Dr. Cohen, and she walks by unnoticed. The men appear to be sales reps, impressively dressed, both with identical expensive briefcases.

Justine turns around, Lucas puts a large envelope in his case, she notices, they don’t see her. Door shuts and Lucas slithers away with briefcase.

As she enters room, Jax is drugged up good. Tries to ask question him, he’s out of it.

Dr. Sherman enters room with Dr. Cohen and Joseph Granger, both with documents in hand.

Sherman – “he’ll need surgery down the road”, introduces Dr. Cohen as he’ll be doing the surgery, but with no insurance that’s when Granger steps up with a LOP document. Justine interrupts, refers to Jax as her brother, takes documents and they’ll get back with them after discussing with mother. (Karlie)

Justine’s beyond pissed, “I told you do not have surgery, you are going to have to learn to live with pain, there are no recourses.” Jax drifts off until…

Nurse walks in hands Jax an envelope. Inside a get well note from Ellis Kilpatrick with his business card. (FBI investigator) Justine reads it, questions it and keeps it.

Act 3 Turning Point

ARIZONA

WEEKS LATER

Justine gets a call from Karlie. Jax has met with an attorney, Donald Wittman who has been persuaded Jax to have the surgery, refers him to see a Dr. Cohen, for a spine surgery that he doesn’t need. Justine is alarmed. How did Wittman get involved? Why? It puzzles her.

Justine calls Davidson, brings him up to date with Jax. “But why would a FBI Agent give his card?” She asks for his help since Donovan says he won’t. He’ll get back with her.

Later that night she gets out the mafia article and rereads it. Justine studies the photo of the TWO MEN (Wittman and Sherman) with Lucas in background. (We can’t make it out well but it is Dr. Sherman) Suddenly she gets worried and scared.

Gracie overhears the conversation, calls Davidson. They have a long conversation about Justine and helping Jax. Gracie explains the situation but Davidson already knows all about it. She asks him to visit mom but he can’t, he has an important meeting in the morning.

Justine starts looking on the computer for anything. She discovers a worldwide medical website, BECKER’S , that releases information on surgeons who are corrupt and have bilked millions of dollars in kickback schemes. She dumbfounded. This goes on for days as she prints out the articles for herself and to share with Davidson and Jax.

NEVADA

Davidson calls Donovan and sets up a meeting with Dr. Sherman and Lucas. Donovan knows something about Lucas and he can’t be trusted. He’s a heat-seeking homing missile. He’s getting greedy and he can do some real damage. They need to talk in private.

The four meet for lunch. Bits and pieces are shared about, Ellis, too many surgeries, money, prescriptions, and work load. Sherman is beyond capacity with surgeries. Grapevine has it there’s an investigation under hat.

Davidson and Donovan leave together, step away and talk in private. Their conversation is about getting immunity if they become a government witness.

NOTE: MARK JACOBSON, DEFENSE ATTORNEY, claims that should have been minor, like Jax, were becoming major. Treated usually treated with P.T. were undergoing drastic spine-fusion surgeries. Some insurers sent in their top lawyers. There is 80 billion in insurance fraud annually. They even held an unusual meeting more than a dozen D.A. attended. Grainger offers protection, no malpractice suits, even threatens associates. Expert witnesses don’t want involved with us. Grainger thinks he’s a fixer for us but he’s going cause some real problems. Patients all signed medical liens (LOP) RIGHT!

ARIZONA

Davidson comes to Arizona to see Justine. They go to dinner, Davidson gathers information (she gives him many of Becker’s articles and goes back to his hotel where she spends the night with him.

At the hotel Davidson takes out his DEA Investigator badge, puts on counter without thinking along with the Becker files. Justine looks for a file, finds badge and asks for explanations. He does his best but there is so much he cannot talk about.

Davidson asks her to come to Tahoe and stay, maybe even get some rest, saying how much has changed, including him. She becomes enraged, refuses his offer and walks out again. Same old shit. She should have known better.

ACT 4

NOTE- Davidson has been following the pill-mill since Justine’s accident. That’s why he let her go so easily.

ARIZONA

Justine is beside herself. Calls to check on Jax, but he’s not around. Phone rings, it’s Marsha’s brother, Mike. Marsha had another surgery, got a blood clot, they caught it in time but is now paralyzed from the waist down. She wants to end her life and Mike doesn’t know what to do.

She didn’t take your advice when you last spoke, remember, you were yelling! Ya, gotta come help her. Justine breaks down in tears.

NEVADA

Jax is calling, stops the conversation with Mike…gotta take this call, call you later.

Jax didn’t do the surgery. Mr. Kilpatrick shed the light on the investigation with Jax. Jax will be a star witness. He’s doing ok and going to p.t. like Justine told him. Lucas won’t talk to Jax and has shut the door on him. But, the p.t. is pretty fine!!!

ARIZONA

Justine and Gracie have a heart-to-heart. The confidentiality agreement from Jax was really his will, leaving his home to Justine and business to Gracie if he dies. Justine is giving Gracie money to rent a small store front for her business. Justine gets a certified letter. Davidson sends a copy of his indictment (he’s turned government witness in Jax’s case) along with a ticket to fly in to Tahoe.

NEVADA – TAHOE

Davidson picks her up at airport. He shows up in a pick-up truck, not a limo like he would normally have done. They drive up Mt. Rose highway to Tahoe but it’s not the same home. It’s totally different. It’s just a nice comfortable cabin.

Justine is totally confused and begins with all her questions. Davidson admits to her who he really is, just a man doing his job, had to play a role. He beings to explain everything and she stops him in his tracks. NOW WHAT??? Where do we go from here? How about Montana? I bought us 20 acres and we can build whatever kind of home you want.

Justine wants to save it for another day maybe another time. She calls Gemma and they meet for lunch and catch up on all the daily gossip. Justine grabs the newspaper and finds a small article where a Las Vegas Medical group and a dozens of surgeons and personal-injury lawyers were charged with fraud, conspiracy and witness tampering.

Gemma takes Justine to airport. She stops in Las Vegas where Mike picks her up. She goes to see Marsha. They reunite, tears fall, 50+ years of friendship isn’t going to stop Justine from seeing Marsha.

NEED ENDING SHOTS…SERIES OR MONTAGE. Come back to this.

THEN:

REAL SHOTS OF HEADLINES ONE BY ONE:

New York neurosurgeon indicted for unnecessary, invasive tests in kickback scheme

Texas spine surgeon sued by an insurer who alleged he performed medically unnecessary procedures to inflate personal injury claim. $1.1M in damages

Hospital, orthopedic surgeon share liability in $6.3M verdict

Chiropractor sentenced to 14 months in spine surgery kickback scheme

Olympic volleyball player permanently paralyzed from chest down with spinal surgery.

20 doctors under the government’s cross hairs.

NOTE: ATTACHED DOCUMENT FROM BECKERS’ January 2018 – August 2022 SENTENCING CONTINUES IN CALIFORNIA SPINE KICKBACK CASE: 6 developments in 4+ years. (15 year scheme $500 M in fraud bill & $40 million in kickback; Dr Capen $5M in kickbacks , Full pardon to Taustino Bernadett, MD sentenced to 15 months in prison in illegal kickback scheme )

Hundreds of patients harmed by surgeons, maybe thousands and thousands we haven’t discover yet.

Former Sanford Health neurosurgeon to pay $4.4.M to resolve kickback charges.Ndw trial required for Missouri neurosurgeon’s kickback case.

Medical Mafia makes $80 Billion Killing

[Daniel Turner]

Daniel Turner’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

VISION: to become a produced, well regarded, and in demand writer.

Thriller

ACT 1: Entering the Detective’s World

PJ 1: The Detective is called to the scene of a very strange ritualized killing.

INCITING INCIDENT: He gets to the crime scene and the murder is truly something most have never seen.

PJ 2: The Patrolman on duty at the scene asks the Detective if the rumors are true, if there have been more of these killings? He tells the Patrolman the truth, that there have been, and asks him to do him a favor and keep it to himself.

DEEPER LAYER: Something is going on that the Detective is trying to keep under wraps.

PJ 3: The Detective assaults a perp who got off on a technicality and tried rubbing that fact in the Detective’s face.

Turning Point 1: Because of the assault, The Detective is ordered to go see the CopDoc, the Police Psychologist.

AJ 1: The Detective has his first meeting with the CopDoc.

PJ 4: The Detective is persuaded by an informant that people on the street are being snatched up, and nobody is doing anything about it.

DEEPER LAYER: There is more going on than just the serial murders.

ACT 2: The Detective starts looking into where all the criminals have disappeared to.

AJ 2: in the second meeting the CopDoc is feeling out the Detective, about his feelings and leanings about certain things. He is digging to find out how he ticks. He’s recruiting him for something. He invites the Detective to an off site group that gathers.

PJ 5: The Detective goes to the house where the group meeting is and ends up just staking it out, noticing all of the cops that attend. One of the cops spots him and inquires. He says he is not sure if he is ready to do the group thing yet.

DEEPER REVEAL: There are many cops that are being the Doc, the group is full.

PJ 6: He goes to see Coopernicus, the old wise one of the street. He gets the lowdown on what is going on, and that the people who are doing the snatching of folks are professionals.

AJ 3: at the next session, the Doc asks why he didn’t just join in the group and see what’s up since he went all of the way there. And invites him again.

PJ 7: The Detective goes to the group meeting, there is nothing out of sorts or wrong, but something sets off his Spidey-sense, and he starts to shadow a couple of the attendees.

DEEPER REVEAL: There are also a lot of cops who are frustrated about how their hands are tied trying todo their job.

PJ 8: His Spidey-sense was correct and they lead him to a snatch, a murder and a secret meeting, led by the CopDoc.

AJ 4: at the next session, the Doc and the Detective play cat and mouse about who knows what about whom.

PJ 9: The Detective is ambushed and shot.