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Day 3 Assignments
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Lynn Vincentnathan’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
VISION: I am determined to become a great screenwriter capable of getting my screenplays in various genres produced into movies that inspire vast audiences to mitigate climate change.
I LEARNED that this is a lot easier than I thought with all that I’ve done before. It still needs work and maybe I have too many deeper layers and will have to leave some off (as I did in this beat sheet); at least they are there on the side if I need to bring them in during the writing process.
HIGH CONCEPT: WEATHERING IT (Rom-Com) is about two college students who try to overcome family fights about global warming and get married during the worst ever Texas freeze.
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KEY:
P1J = Protagonist 1 Journey (Ellie)
P2J = Protagonist 2 Journey (Jim)
AJ = Antagonist Journey (Ely)
GENRE: ROM-COM
ACT 1: Ellie and Jim meet, Jim expressing interest in the Turtle Trip and especially the trip to the off-the-grid farm. Ellie gives a talk to Jim’s class re the trip, receives flack, Jim supports her. Ellie visits Uncle Ely’s farm to arrange for a trip there.
Ellie P1J 1: Ellie wants to devote her life to saving the Earth, and doesn’t want romantic involvement.
Deeper Layer: She suffers from father abandonment wound and figures marriage is a doomed enterprise.
Jim P2J 1: Jim is obligated to his Uncle Fred, but would really like to get out of it and pursue his own (at this point) nebulous goals.
Deeper Layer: Jim suffers from his father’s death, being beholden to his uncle’s support; while he appears a carefree college playboy, he really wants to establish his own solid marriage and family. Jim’s strong character, involving loyalty and honor, will never allow him to stiff his uncle to pursue his own goals.
Ely AJ 1: Ely is all about developing alt energy to help save the Earth, and hates people because they are not into that project.
Deeper Layer: He suffers losing his love Sarah to Fred, thinking it was because Fred looked more economically promising in his oil consultancy than he did pursuing (what Fred called) pie-in-the-sky alt energy pipedreams.
Ely AJ 2: When Ellie comes to arrange for trip to his farm, he talks her into helping him with his alt energy project & coming to live on his farm after college.
Deeper Layer: He is a lonely old man and Ellie is the only one who gets along with him; he wants her with him as a daughter and to take over when he passes (not ideal, since she is a journalism major, not into alt energy engineering).
INCITING INCIDENT (Cute-Meet): Jim kisses Ellie and awakens her passion. Later (before TP1) Ellie goes to Uncle Rudy’s Marriage Barn to do a story for the college paper; he wonders why she gave up church, guesses she’s in love, affirms the wonders of marriage to her.
Ellie P1J 2: Ellie resists her feelings for Jim and makes him understand “no commitment.” Discusses her problems (father abandonment, env activism) and marriage with her Uncle Rev. Rudy.
Deeper Layer: She has a sinking feeling she is doomed to get involved and abandoned as her mother was, no matter what Rudy or Jim tell her.
Jim P2J 2: Jim is now really hooked on Ellie, especially when he finds out she is niece of Rev. Rudy, his pastor (Ellie doesn’t know this yet about him since she gave up going to church).
Deeper Layer: Ellie is the one who can fulfill his dreams and help him cope with his Uncle Fred.
TURNING POINT 1 (Ellie’s Denial of Love): Jim indicates he wants a more committed relationship; Ellie doesn’t, but doesn’t want to hurt him, agrees to a “situationship.”
REVEAL: We find out Jim’s obligation to work in Houston for Uncle Fred’s Oil Engineering Consultancy after college.
COUNTER-REVEAL: Ellie doesn’t find out about Jim’s obligation until Midpoint, so she’s thinking Jim could be a great help with Ely’s alt energy projects, as he has an engineering degree and took a course in alt energy.
ACT 2 (overwhelming attraction): Jim passes Ellie’s stupid compatibility test and they begin “dating.” They go on trip to Ely’s farm; Jim covers up his relationship to Fred Higson.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Ely hates Fred Higson, Jim’s uncle.
Ely AJ 3: Ely tries to be polite to the students and to Jim, tries to change for Ellie.
Deeper Layer: He doesn’t want to lose Ellie and is especially afraid Jim will take her away from him.
Deeper Layer: She is still immature in that she is partly using Jim to fulfill her goals of working with Ely and finding a loving, solid marriage.
Jim P2J 3: Jim is more into Ellie, thinking she can help him “weather” Uncle Fred and be a good wife.
Deeper Layer: Jim is still immature in that he is partly using Ellie to fulfill his needs, without concern for her goals and needs.
END OF ACT 2 – MIDPOINT (Break up over differences): Ellie and Jim go to Uncle Rev. Rudy’s Marriage Barn to tentatively plan a wedding and explode over Rudy and Jim not wanting to invite Ely, call the wedding off.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Ellie and Jim open up & find out about their opposing goals and obligations, which seem to make marriage impossible. Only problem is, they are now very much in love.
Ellie P1J 4: Ellie thinks she’s satisfied that her prediction of marriage as doomed is correction and thinks she can go back to square one — activism without romance.
Deeper Layer: She is really in love with Jim
Jim P2J 4: Jim is heart-broken that he didn’t succeed in getting Ellie, and planning to look around some more.
Deeper Layer: Jim really loves Ellie, and she is the only one for him.
ACT 3: Knowing they are still very much in love, they try to work it out, taking it more slowly this time — a wedding at the end of January (3 or 4 months later). Rudy: Marriage involves adjustment and sacrifice. They go to Houston for Xmas where Jim tries to warm her up to Fred and make a go of it.
Ellie P1J 5: Ellie loses her zest for life and mistakes that for growing up, maturing.
Deeper Layer: She is conflicted in denying her goals and needs to satisfy Jim’s obligation to Fred.
Jim P2J 5: Jim thinks he’s happy with Ellie by his side and tries to get her to like Houston and Fred.
Deeper Layer: Jim knows this is tearing Ellie apart.
TURNING POINT 3 (break up over differences 2): Jim decides to back out — not explaining it’s because he loves Ellie too much to have her sacrifice her goals and commitment.
REVEAL: Jim truly and deeply loves Ellie (not just as a sex conquest) and she loves him (not just as a help for Ely’s alt energy projects).
Ellie P1J 6: Ellie insists that they get back together, figuring she will find some way to engage in env activism under Fred’s nose.
Deeper Layer: She knows that won’t work out; it will be a big sacrifice on her part.
Jim P2J 6: Jim accepts, saying he’ll find a way to get out of his obligation.
Deeper Layer: He knows he won’t/can’t get out of his obligation (loyalty/honor, if not money, will not allow him to do so). He knows Ellie will not find her fulfillment with him working for Fred.
ACT 4 CLIMAX: A severe freeze and power cut throughout Texas makes it impossible for them to wed in Rudy’s Marriage Barn — which6 is booked solid until summer. Ellie bucks up and insists they marry at uninvited Ely’s farm, the only place with power. Jim goes along, knowing it’ll be a failure.
Ellie P1J 7: Ellie has now become the strong and hopeful one in the relationship, leading all to do the right thing and help bring about the marriage.
Deeper Layer: She has now matured enough to take on marriage.
Jim P2J 7: Jim in a role reversal has lost hope and is in despair; he goes along until the very end after Fred arrives and after the initial blow up he again regains hope due to Ellie’s efforts.
Deeper Layer: Jim has now matured enough to take on Uncle Fred.
REVEAL: When Fred arrives at Ely’s farm we come to realize it is not just ideological differences between Ely and Fred, but Fred’s dastardly deed of stealing Ely’s love, Sarah. Fred reveals that Sarah divorced him within 2 years, and happily married someone else, leaving Fred heart-broken.
RESOLUTION (reuniting in love): Ely overcomes his bitterness and forgives Fred and with Ellie and Jim’s prompting Fred takes an interest in Ely’s money-saving alt energy projects (sees a business opportunity). Both uncles bless the wedding, and the couple can now happily marry.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Lynn Vincentnathan.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Subject: Monica’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
Vision: I will continue to learn everything I can through all different media to apply what I learn to become the best screenwriter I can be. To be successful in getting my movies made and to win awards in the process.
What I learned from doing this assignment is it affords the opportunity to see it all in one place and to think about how this is going to look in the next phases.
2. Start with your 4-Act Structure, add the following components into your story to create the first draft of your Beat Sheet.
Title: TIME GUARDIANS
Genre: Action/Drama
Act 1: Conall makes a deal with the devil.
Conall PJ 1: The head of a Special Forces
intelligence team, Conall Coffey is given a mission to steal an ancient
artefact from a museum.<div>Harry AJ 1: Heads up the Elites which is comprised of
the five most powerful men in the world.Jay TJ 1: Advisor to the mission.
· Deeper Layer: All parties to the mission know that the artefact changes the timeline, but they don’t know that the other members know.
Inciting Incident: They steal the ancient artefact and build it.
· Conall PJ 2: Set off to steal the artefact.
· Harry AJ 2: The other Elites know Harry grieves his wife. They tell him that if the mission fails he’s out. He reminds them he is the only one intelligent enough to program the artefact the way they need it to be programmed.
· Deeper Layer: The artefact is more powerful than anyone imagined but it keeps giving the same answer –the timeline ends in 2030.
· Jay TJ 2: Goes along with Conall to steal the artefact. He tells Conall it’s not where the Elites think it is. Jay has already stolen it and set it up.
· Deeper Layer: Jay is already manipulating the mission. Conall asks Jay what his purpose is in the mission.
Turning Point: Conall and Jay dismantle the artefact and steal the artefact.
Act 2:
Conall PJ 3: Conall and Jay hide out in an abandoned
military bunker as the Elite try to find them. </div><div>Jay TJ 3: Knows the Elites are coming so he
re-programs the artefact.Deeper Layer: Conall needs time to study the artefact
to try and save his family. He disguises this with trying to figure out
why it keeps giving the same answer.Harry AJ 3: The Elite are furious with Harry for
letting Conall steal the artefact. But Harry tells them he knows where
Conall is.Deeper Layer: Harry needs the artefact to change the
timeline and bring his wife back and get rid of the Elites.Midpoint Turning Point: The Elites storm the bunker, but Conall and Jay are gone; the artefact is stolen back.
Act 3:
Conall PJ 4: Our hero sneaks into the house of his
former partner. He convinces her to join their fight. She recruits a few
others, and they plan a major assault.</div><div>Deeper Layer: His former partner is someone he trusts
and almost married.Harry AJ 4: Sets up the artefact but it keeps
giving the same answer – the timeline ends in 2030.Deeper Layer: He’s desperate
for this to work.Jay TJ 4: He’s now “helping” Harry with the
programming.Deeper Layer: He has to prevent the catastrophe to
save the future.Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: They’re captured and taken to the artefact because it’s now giving information that the Elite think the hero programmed it to do. They have 2 days to re-program it and give them the answer they want, or they’ll be executed.
Act 4:
Climax:
Conall PJ 5: Works on re-programming the artefact
but the Earth shakes splitting the artefact in to two separate artefacts.</div><div>Deeper Layer: A new timeline has emerged. But what does this mean?
Harry AJ 5: He thinks he’s won.
Deeper Layer: The new timeline appears to give Harry
the answer he finally wants. Now he can order the execution of Conall and company.Jay TJ 5: But Jay pushes a button on the second
artefact, and it merges back into one. A countdown begins.Deeper Layer: Jay must end these timelines to move
forward.Resolution:
· Conall PJ 6: Conall and his team kill the Elite.
· Deeper Layer: Conall is Jay from the future.
· Harry AJ 6: Harry and the Elites are dead.
· Jay TJ 6: Conall accompanies Jay to the portal where a ship awaits. Instructs Conall and his partner and team to eliminate the remaining Elite to usher in a better world.
· Deeper Layer: Jay is Conall from the future and they’ve stopped the catastrophe from happening.
</div>
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George Petersen BEAT SHEET DRAFT 1
My Vision is to direct one of my screenplays as a low-budget indie feature
What I learned from this assignment is character drives plot
The Summer of Haight
Genre: Thriller
ACT 1: Story Goal: To introduce the inexplicable problem of the will
INCITING INCIDENT: Jonathan inexplicably commands Longfellow to draw up a will leaving all his wealth to a good-for-nothing hippie no one has ever heard of.
Longfellow PJ1: Longfellow solemnly promises never to interfere with the will, understanding that it would end his friendship with Jonathan forever.
TURNING POINT 1: Not able to endure the mystery anymore, Longfellow wants answers and breaks his promise and follows Youngblood on one of his escapades into the Haight-Ashbury, risking his friendship with Jonathan, which means more to him than anything.
Youngblood AJ 1: Youngblood introduces himself as a hippie who feels liberated to indulge himself in insatiable self-gratification on an insane level, without limits.
Longfellow PJ2: Longfellow confronts Youngblood, threatens him with legal action if he harms Jonathan in any way.
Deeper Level: Longfellow has no idea that Youngblood is an expression of Jonathan’s dark side.
Youngblood AJ 2: Youngblood presents his personal key to the back door of Jonathan’s mansion. He has a right to be here. Back off.
ACT 2: Story Goal: to transfer Jonathan’s wealth to Youngblood
Longfellow PJ3: Longfellow presents a passionate report to Jonathan on the out of this world craziness of Youngblood.
Jonathan Triangle 1: Jonathan explodes at Longfellow for investigating Youngblood.
Longfellow PJ4: Longfellow presents the will to Jonathan for his signature. It’s final.
Jonathan Triangle 2: Jonathan breaks off his friendship with Longfellow.
Longfellow PJ5: Longfellow goes into a deep depression over the loss of his beloved friendship.
INCITING INCIDENT: Jonathan disappears, kicking off the timer for the 100 day disappearance clause in the will.
Youngblood AJ3: Youngblood demands that Longfellow execute the will
Longfellow PJ6: Going against Jonathan’s wishes, Longfellow disputes the will, but is told that his friendship with Jonathan makes the will irrevocable and credible.
Youngblood AJ4: Youngblood forces Longfellow to execute the will.
TURNING POINT 2: after Jonathan’s “disappearance,” Youngblood inherits the Jonathan’s wealth lock, stock and barrel.
Longfellow PJ7: Longfellow sinks into a deeper depression.
Deeper Level: Longfellow has no idea that Youngblood is an expression of Jonathan’s dark side.
ACT 3: Story Goal: to execute the plan with the photographer to capture Youngblood red-handed
Longfellow PJ8: determined to get back at Youngblood and with the aid of a photographer who hangs out in the Haight, Longfellow puts together a plan to capture Youngblood red-handed in the act of murder.
TURNING POINT 3: the plans fails miserably, ending in the photographer getting killed.
ACT 4: Story Goal: to coordinate with the entire police force in a plan to capture Youngblood red-handed
Climax: Longfellow coordinates a plan with the full police department to catch the hippie red-handed at the Be-In
Youngblood AJ5: the desire to kill for pleasure is irresistible once again.
Longfellow PJ9: Longfellow leads the chase across the city to capture Youngblood.
IRONIC DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Longfellow is faced with the reality that in killing Youngblood in an effort to protect Jonathan, he has in fact killed Jonathan, his best friend.
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PJ1- Lucia
AJ1- Godfather’s son
AJ2 Godfather
Beginning:
PJ1- Lucia is on the Internet dreaming of meeting a man and escaping her environment. Her mother berates her for wasting her time dreaming
AJ2—The godfather is at a party with wife celebrating his 25<sup>th</sup> wedding anniversary.
AJ1- is in back room having sex with worker instead of minding his father’s protection
AJ2, the godfather, and wife ambushed by rival. His wife is killed. Godfather escapes, vows revenge on rival
AJ2 takes AJI off security management, angering AJ!, who vows revenge.
AJ2 kills the gangsters who kill his wife, setting up mob war.
AJ1- secretly meets with AJ1’s rival. They plan to overthrow AJ2
PJ1 is beat up by abusive boyfriend, makes her more determined to leave.
Inciting Incident: PJ1 and AJ2
meet on the internet. AJ2 comes over to Italy to see PJ1 <div>Turning Point 1: PJ1 accidently
kills abusive boyfriend AJ2 helps her cover it up.PJ! and AJ2 leave for U.S
.
Act 2
:
PJ1 enters hostile mob
environment. They don’t want AJ2 to marry her but he doesTurning Point 2 / Midpoint– PJ1 is attracted to AJ1, He seduces her. Coaxes her to kill AJ2
Deeper layer: AJ 1 is using PJ1 to eliminate AJ2
:Act 3
AJ1 wants to kill AJ2, tries to draw PJ 1 into his plot but PJ1 puts him off
Deeper layer: PJ1 is warming to AJ2
Turning Point 3:- AJ2 GETS
stroke, AJ1 sees chance to kill him. PJ1 hides AJ2 from AJ1Act 4 Climax:PJ1 traps AJ1 and
kills himResolution: While AJ2
recovers from stroke,, he designates PJ 1 the acting head. They are a
partnership—————————————–
</div>
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Module 4, Lesson 2 – Beat Sheet Part-1
Subject: Rob Ingalls’ Beat Sheet
MY VISION:
To be a Talented writer that delivers quality fast, with the film industry seeking me out.
WIL: Keep reworking the outline sequentially. Go back and review. Allow yourself to change.
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ORIGINAL HIGH CONCEPT:
A giant statue made of gold is stolen by thieves who tunnel underneath and hollow out the gold.
UPDATED HIGH CONCEPT:
A former student and top graduate at Grand Heist Academy is challenged for one last heist: steal his weight in gold from a museum and not get caught and the museum not knowing it’s missing even after the heist.
GENRE:
Action/Drama
JOURNEY:
Protagonist (Simon La’Rouche) Journey:
As top graduate and former student of academy, and now retired, Simon arrives to give the current graduating students a graduation pep talk. The students then challenge Simon to one last heist: Steal the gold of a large sitting statue without getting caught and without the owner (museum) knowing, even after it has been stolen.
Antagonist (Harris Blackwood) Journey:
As Instructor at Academy, always felt slighted that when he was graduating from Academy, that he didn’t win top honors. When Simon returns, Harris’ wounds resurface. He determines to get even and to block Simon from achieving the goal of the challenge by students. In the end, Harris gets the recognition he deserved and always wanted. Better: He gets his name on trophy and in glass case.
Deeper Layer:
Simon never should have been named Top Thief at Academy. Simon cheated final exam project. Simon is insecure despite accolades.
Major Reveal:
He cheated on Senior Project, (similar to Capt. Kirk and the Star Trek Kobayashi Maru test). Some might say he used his brain to win.
Influences Surface Story:
Simon is a fish-out-of-water with heists. He’s always figured out a way for others to steal for him, never doing it himself.
Hints:
Simon struggles to do a simple heist and we wonder why. Simon is scared. He’s insecure.
Changes Reality:
Simon never should have been named Top Thief. This award should have gone to Harris.
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Simon La’Rouche – Protagonist Journey (PJ)
Harris Blackwood – Antagonist Journey (AJ)
BEGINNING / OPENING ACT
Thieves steal various items: Jewelry, cars, gold bars, cryptocurrency, airplanes, etc. We learn they are doing final exam Senior Project in various fields for GRAND HEIST ACADEMY prior to graduation.
Harris – AJ-1, Instructor at Grand Heist Academy, walks daily past glass trophy case with Top Academy Thief trophy with Simon’s name on it. There’s pain because he feels he should have won.
Simon PJ 1, arrives at Academy. He’s the guest speaker at class graduation. He’s also the Academy’s top graduate and thief. He is the only one to win the Kobayashi Maru (aka Star Trek and Captain Kirk)
Simon – PJ 2, arrogantly teases Harris, rubs it in that he won, and Harris came in second. But Simon holds a deep secret.
INCITING INCIDENT: Students challenge Simon to one last heist, to show off his skills.
Simon – PJ 3, gives pep talk commencement speech at graduation. He also tells them it’s time for him to retire.
The class president, with student backing, challenges Simon to one last heist: Steal his weight in gold from museum without getting caught and without the museum knowing, even after it has been stolen.
Simon – PJ 4, hesitates, makes excuses as to why he shouldn’t do the challenge.
Harris- AJ 2, likes the challenge and pushes Simon to accept challenge.
TURNING POINT-1
Harris – AJ 3, double dog dares Simon to accept the student’s challenge.
Simon – PJ 5, accepts challenge.
ACT-2
Simon – P6, tries textbook approaches to steal the gold but fails. Simon appears to be a fish-out-of-water with heist challenge. He makes feeble attempts and flails/fails. Simon struggles to do simple heist and fails and we wonder why.
Harris – AJ 4, is determined to block Simon from achieving challenge and to prove to school that he’s better at this than Simon, and that he (Harris) should have won trophy.
Simon – PJ 7, Old ways don’t work. He tries to have a crane remove statue but too large, even with David Blain magician help (hide an elephant).
For every approach by Simon, Harris uses a counterapproach to deter Simon. Each time it makes Simon stronger, but in beginning we wonder why Simon sucks at heist jobs.
TURNING POINT-2 / MIDPOINT
The entire 1st half of movie is Simon struggling to be a thief. Everything has been a lie. He is good at deceit.
Harris – AJ5, turns up the heat to defeat Simon.
Audience realizes Simon is a fraud. He sucks at heist jobs. He’s scared, insecure, fish out of water. At school, he should have failed his final exam project.
Simon – PJ 8, determines to change and become what everyone expects of him.
ACT-3
Simon – PJ 9, rethinks and creates new plan. He has insights into why old ways don’t work and that HE must change. New plan: Tunnel underneath and hollow out large statue, keeping the frame intact and no one suspects inner gold stolen.
Simon – PJ 10, begins tunnel.
Harris – AJ 6, sweats, thinking that Simon may have solved challenge.
TURNING POINT-3
Harris – AJ 7, contacts local police and FBI. Gets Simon arrested for tunneling and human trafficking/drug mule, BUT NOT Gold heist. So, Simon is still in the running to win challenge.
Harris – AJ 8, hears for first time Simon stating that he shouldn’t have been top thief, that he (Simon) cheated on final project like the Star Trek Kobayashi Maru. But still Harris does not get recognition from school like he wants.
ACT-4 CLIMAX
Simon – PJ 11, completes the assignment challenge with flying colors. Simon solves the challenge despite the basic problems and the traps that Harris put forth.
RESOLUTION
Simon – PJ 12, is STILL Top Thief but acknowledges that Harris should be considered top thief of previous graduating class.
Harris – AJ 9, gets his trophy in the glass case. Harris is given the Top Thief trophy (and Simon ‘s name removed) that he displays in academy’s main hallway. Harris has recognition that he’s always wanted.
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Karen Crider’s Beat sheet- Draft 1
My vision is to be a stronger writer.
What I learned: The more we pick apart the meat of a story, the more we find the fibers that make up each part. Defining them is defining the anatomy of story– the essence that makes it a worthwhile study…
Genre: Adventure, Drama/Animation
PJ- Protag’s journey
AJ- Antagonist’s journey
AJ.–MORTIMER, an afflicted, African wolf, (the criminal) has been attacked by a wild dog. He kills the dog and barely survives, but as a result, has not eaten in three days.
AJ- Later, an injured, weak Mortimer scours the brush, hunting, Mortimer hears the mewlings of hyena cubs. He (spies) on the mother, IVY, as she leaves to hunt; then invades the den.
PJ- The youngest hyena, SHADOW, (the underdog) is traumatized, when Mortimer invades grappling his sister, Surus, (the victim.)
AJ- Outside the den, Shadow doesn’t know that SILLA, (the competitor), clan’s matriarch, has snuck in during the fray between the wolf and the hyena, and has taken his sister, Surus (the victim), for her own.
Inciting Incident – PJ-Shadow (underdog/victim- covertly getting revenge) is ousted out of the clan in retribution of him standing up to Silla’s, matriarch daughter, HILLY, (sabatour) who beats up on Shadow’s mom. Ivy cannot withstand a matriarch’s bullying without serious consequences.
PJ- Turning Point: Shadow re-constructs the den of his birth outside the communal dens. He survives as a dejected, grub eater; one who determines to survive, to get even with Hilly, (the sabateour) and kill Mortimer.
AJ- Silly demands that Surus keeps the lower- class hyena’s in subjection. Surus goes after Ivy. Ivy notices her heart shaped spot on her neck and catches her scent. Ivy knows she is Surus. Ivy tells her. Surus’ insulted.
.ACT 2:
PJ- The clan howler announces the opening of the Olympic Hyena Howling contest where the winner wins the coveted winnings into the largest clan.
PJ- Shadow gets beat up for practicing. He’s terrible. He attends the affair and loses. His brother, Brimsley, howls a Pavarotti Aria and wins. He shuns Shadow.
AJ- Hilly, Silla’s offspring, is jealous after Hilly starts training Surus to be the future matriarch. Hilly spills the beans about her being a cub that Silla has stolen. Silly denies it,
Hilly tells Surus who she really is, which backs up what Ivy has told her. Surus learns she is not of hierarchy startus.
Surus and Ivy meet track down Brimsley. They look for Shadow, to make a plan about leaving their given clans.
PJ- Turning Point: Shadow works on improving himself to be more like Brimsley. -Bathes, practices howling, polishes hunting skills, fails in a hunt. Another fail.
ACT THREE:
PJ-Shadow follows the scent trail of his old clan to a Maasai village, where hyena’s serve as undertakers to the dead.
AJ- Mortimer shows up and goes on a killing spree. Shadow hides.
PJ-Shadow recognizes the face of his sister’s killer—the missing ear, the phlegm- colored eye, the scar. He flashes back to being a cub again. He freezes. Hides.
PJ- He follows his old clan back to their den, disappointed in his actions.
PJ- Shadow encounters a juvenile lion the same age as he is. They spar; their growls, more toxic than the damage, they do to each other.
PJ-–The lion cub runs Shadow off. Another failure. Shadow’s scared he has no chance of surviving Mortimer.
ACT FOUR:
PJ–Shadow trots upon a path heavy with hyena scent, where ahead on the trail, Silla drags a zebra into the brush.
AJ–A feeding frenzy results in dinner ending in minutes. Silla and Hilly exit the corpse.
AJ-Silla leaves behind a free- for-all that takes place, as the remaining hyena’s battle for scraps.
PJ—(The underdog,) Shadow, takes a side trail up the hill, he searches for his mom.
PJ-–He hears howling and recognizes her frenzied pleas for help.
AJ-–Mortimer, (the criminal) the rabid wolf, has Ivy by her hindquarters. No other hyenas have come to help.
PJ—Shadow forgets his fear and goes for the wolf’s throat. He hangs on.
PJ- –Shadow kills Mortimer. Surus, Brimsley and Ivy finally show up after the battle. The news spreads near and far about the great predator, Shadow.
PJ-Shadow is hurt, but ecstatic over finding his sister. Together, Shadow hobbles back to his den, as they relay their plan for their new clan.
PJ— A few days later, Shadow’s family wait for him in the perimeters, while Shadow taunts Silla. She backs off, and lets her guards do the fighting.
PJ- Shadow counter attacks and leaves them in the dust. He calls Silla a coward. No one contests him ever again. Shadow and his family leave.
AJ- From a distance, Silla mourns, as Surus joins her new clan. She has lost Surus forever.
-Ivy, Brimsley, and Surus, leave with Shadow. They form a new clan.
RESOLUTION:
Surus, the new matriarch, takes the lead as they trot away from the only home they have ever known.
Deeper reveal: Not one family member looks back, not even Surus. Shadow finally has roots. He belongs, and no one ever doubts his courage or ability to survive ever again…
My genre is: Adventure, drama, animation.
CONVENTIONS OF DRAMA PURPOSE:
To explore stories with emotional and interpersonal high stakes for their characters.
CHARACTER-DRIVEN JOURNEY: We always need to care aabout the characters in a Drama, and their internal journey drives the film’s events and progression.
HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN: Whether the story’s events are relatively mundane or intense, the struggles, obstacles, and stakes comes from within the characters more than from external pressures.
EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: Drama audiences want to feel and be moved by the characters’ emotions and how they experience the events.
CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED SITUATIONS: Characters get challenged to their core by the emotional situations and struggles that they run into. REAL-LIFE SITUATIONS: Drama stories are grounded in reality.
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David’s Beat Sheet- Draft 1
My vision is to increase my skills to become an A-list writer
What I learned from this assignment is the importance of creating an in depth outline before the writing of actual scenes.
ACT 1: Keith tracks down Chas
Chas PJ1: Chas can’t find a job
Deeper Layer: Deep in debt, lies to everyone
Keith AJ1: Fired from job
Keith AJ2: Goes after Chas
Deeper Layer: Needs to save childhood home
Chas PJ2: Chas lands a job as a sperm donor
Inciting Incident: Chas meets Christie after donating sperm
ACT 2: Chas pretends to be a doctor
Chas PJ3: Chas borrows friend’s car and apartment for ruse
Deeper level: doubles down on his fault/lying
Keith AJ3: Meets Chas, but doesn’t know it
MIDPOINT: Christie falls in love with Chas
ACT 3: Chas goes on a new path
Chas PJ4: Chas feels guilty visiting sick kids in hospital
Keith AJ4: Visits Chas’ home- a dinky boat- realizes he has no money
Deeper level: He let his mom down, on a fool’s mission
Chas PJ5: Chas finds the medical world fascinating, could be his calling
TURNING POINT: Chas can’t face reality, breaks up with Christie
ACT 4: The truth finally comes out
Keith AJ5: Gets intel about Christie’s party
Chas PJ6: Plans to attend Christie’s party for her parents and tell her the truth
Deeper level: He’s finally growing up and facing reality
Keith AJ6: Seizes Chas on the boat and forces him to call his parents
RESOLUTION: Chas goes back home and works for his dad to pay off his student loans. Future with Christie may continue when he goes to med school.
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Module 4 – Lesson 3 – Beat Sheet Draft 1
Lisa Long’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
My Vision: I will do whatever it takes to be comfortable saying that I am a writer by creating impactful stories with amazing characters in order to sell my scripts.
What I learned from this assignment is plotting out the story first will save time and heartbreak later in the process.
Title: Chesapeake Girl
Genre: Drama
Act 1: Molly is dropped off at her father Edgar’s restaurant/house on the Chesapeake Bay.
Molly PJ1: A speeding car pulls up outside Edgar’s Seafood restaurant and April her daughter Molly out of the car against her will. Molly is left with Ed, her father that she’s never known. Melting down, Molly chases after the car as it speeds away.
Edgar AJ1: Ed is strong and quiet, trying to figure Molly out. He doesn’t know how to communicate with children since he’s never been a father. Ed is still pining over April, the only woman he’s ever loved, even though she left him and didn’t tell him she was pregnant at the time. This has made him not trust people. Edgar never wanted to be a dad because he didn’t have one and always thought he’d suck at it. Suddenly, he’s taken in his long gone ten-year-old girl.
Inciting Incident: Molly’s father, Edgar puts Molly to work in the restaurant against her will. She has to earn her keep even though she is his daughter. They fight over this.
Turning Point 1: Molly meets Mars a choreographer and they strike up a friendship over dance. Mars is at the beach to mourn the passing of his partner.
Edgar AJ2: Molly can never give up dance, but Ed was hurt by April, Molly’s dancer mom and finds it too difficult to watch Molly dance knowing what he lost. When Ed eventually finds out she’s dancing, he objects not only to Molly’s dancing, but to Mars.
Act 2: Mars gets Molly an audition for the Nutcracker in NYC. They plot how to get her there.
Molly PJ2: Every day while Ed takes his pre-dinner service nap, Molly sneaks out to Mars’ cottage down the beach to dance. She can’t go without dance and so justifies sneaking around behind Ed’s back.
Turning Point 2/Midpoint: A hurricane blows in and Mars saves Molly from drowning. Ed is furious at the both of them.
Edgar AJ3: Ed is terrified that he’ll lose Molly and tries to reach her in the storm. When Mars carries Molly home, Ed can’t bring himself to even thank Mars. He gets furious at Molly instead of showing her safety.
Act 3: Molly lies to Mars and tells him that Ed said it was okay to go to the audition. They take off for NYC. When she returns with a part in the Nutcracker, Ed forbids her to go back.
Molly PJ3: Molly can’t imagine her world without dance and will not give up or give in to Ed’s fears. She is so close to her dream coming true!
Turning Point 3: Ed and Molly have a huge fight. Mars wants to talk to Ed before they go, but Molly makes excuses, and they take off for NYC.
Edgar AJ4: After Ed figures out that Molly did it again and ran off to NYC with Mars to dance, he decides he’s going after them.
Act 4 Climax: Ed storms into the theater with a policeman! But when he sees Molly exquisitely dancing in the Nutcracker, he backs down and dismisses the policeman. He can’t bring himself to ruin her dream. April shows up to see Molly dance too. April tells Ed that she wants to come home. Ed says he’ll think about it. He returns to the Bay alone.
Molly PJ4: Molly returns to the Bay after the run with her tail between her legs. She realizes the toll her being there has taken on him.
Edgar AJ5: Ed comes clean about the past that he’s holding onto and finally expresses his love for Molly.
Molly PJ5: Molly in turn expresses her love for him too.
Resolution: Ed and Molly reconcile. April returns and helps Ed with the restaurant while teaching Molly dance. Six months later, Ed is ill. Mars returns to NYC to begin again. The family is back together as Ed passes away. . Molly and April dance on the beach as an expression of mourning, love, and tribute to Ed.
Deeper Layer Reveal: Molly is angry with her mother for leaving her. Ed is still angry with Molly’s mother for leaving him too. In the end, Molly and Ed realize they have a lot in common and they learn to love each other.
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Andrew Boyd’s Beat Sheet Draft 1
My Vision:
For Hitler’s Choirboys to be such a compelling screenplay that Steven Spielberg and Mel Gibson will battle it out to produce their best WW2 blockbuster since Hacksaw Ridge or Schindler’s List.
What I learned from this assignment:
Once again, I have to simplify and reduce this story, shifting much of my existing Act 1 into backstory.
Genre: Drama / True Story
ACT 1: Challenge to go to Nuremberg to keep the leading Nazis alive until they hang for their crimes – and to break the Nazi legend.
Fuller PJ 1: Fuller is telling his story years later: he and Henry Gerecke working together in a military hospital in post-war Munich. The odd couple: the chaplain and the hustler. For Fuller, it’s play the organ in chapel, or go to jail.
Henry PJ 1: Henry and Fuller working together in post-war Munich. The soldiers love it when Fuller hits the keys of that piano and Henry plays his beloved trombone hot.
Henry PJ 2: Henry gets news his boys have been wounded in the war.
Fuller PJ 2: Fuller is told the Nazis murdered his brother Joel when he tried to surrender.
Henry PJ 3: Henry and Fuller are sent to Dachau to witness the aftermath of the Nazi atrocities and prepare him for the assignment to come.
Fuller PJ 3: Fuller sets out to kill a Nazi POW in Dachau to avenge the murder of his brother when he tried to surrender. Henry prevents him, which sours their relationship.
Deeper Layers: Henry encouraged his boys to sign up. His wife said she would never forgive them if anything happened. Now he must deal with his guilt and get back home to save his marriage. But he needs to be in Nuremberg.
News of his brother’s murder fuels Fuller’s desire for revenge.
Joel brought Fuller up in place of his alcoholic father. The experience of his father has given Fuller a deep distrust of father figures.
For Henry, Dachau stirs up an anger that has this kindly man contemplating murder. It scares him. It also breaks his resistance to the death penalty.
INCITING INCIDENT: Henry and his assistant Fuller are assigned to Nuremberg for chaplain duties to the leading Nazis.
Henry PJ 4: Henry doesn’t want to help the Nazis. And he’s due to go home. If he stays, his marriage could be on the line. He has a choice.
Fuller PJ 4: Fuller loathes the Nazis, doesn’t want to help them, and would lose his cushy hustle in Munich. Last thing he wants is to go to Nuremberg. But what choice does he have? – it’s Nuremberg or jail.
TURNING POINT 1: Henry is torn between his duties to God, the military and his marriage. He takes the hard route and chooses to go to Nuremberg. And Fuller has to go with him.
ACT 2: Into Nuremberg, a fish out of water, outgunned and manipulated by the leading Nazis.
Henry PJ 5: Henry is introduced to his behind-the-scenes team in Nuremberg, a Catholic chaplain concealing a war wound, and a Jewish psychologist with an understandable axe to grind. Together they must prevent the Nazis committing suicide and make them take responsibility for their war crimes.
Goering AJ 1: Pleads not guilty in court, treats the court with contempt, and dominates other defendants to keep the Nazi legend alive.
Fuller PJ 5: Fuller, who’s black, walks out on his boss after SS prisoners hurl racial insults at him while playing the organ in chapel. To avoid jail and hold on to his hustle, he opts to guard the leading Nazis.
Henry PJ 6: The kindly chaplain is treated with indifference and contempt by the Nazis, while their leader Hermann Goering tries to manipulate Henry for favours and to gain influence. The US guards think he’s too pally with the Nazis.
Goering AJ 2: Plays Henry and tries to manipulate him. Wants to get the Allies to join forces with Germany against Russia.
Deeper Layers: Henry and Fuller have good cause to hate Hitler’s henchmen. To a man they plead not guilty and treat the court with contempt.
Fuller’s friendship with Henry is strained to breaking point – exacerbated by his suspicion towards father figures.
Abandoned by his parents as a child, betrayed by his government during the First War, Goering is driven by his need to keep his and the Nazi legend alive.
Goering AJ 3: Goering has recovered from drug addiction thanks to the prison regime, but is back at his scheming best, at the peak of his powers.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: O’Connor shows Henry that his humiliation in the WWI recruitment line is holding him back; court artist Laura Knight shows Henry he must break through the Nazis’ denial and make them see; Gilbert shows Henry he must marshal the evidence and confront the Nazis with it, and Fuller shows him he must get tough.
Henry learns that the only way to break through to these Nazi defendants is to get tough with them: ‘To stand up to bullies.’
Henry PJ 7: Sixtus shows him that what’s holding him back is fear of inflicting humiliation on others – due to his father humiliating him in the recruitment line.
Fuller PJ 6: Fuller returns to the ordinary world of the hustle, signing and cracking jokes in a GI nightclub, and getting it together with his white girlfriend, Evelyn.
Deeper Layer Reveal: The catholic chaplain recognises Henry is pulling his punches for fear of humiliating the prisoners. Henry was badly humiliated by his German father during World War One. Pa hauled him away from the recruitment line where he was signing up to fight for Uncle Sam against the Kaiser. Henry must overcome his own aversion to humiliation to get tough and confront others.
ACT 3: Henry gets his mojo – learns tough love and confronts the Nazis with their guilt to shatter their denial.
Henry PJ 8: Henry is encouraged by court artist Laura Knight to make the Nazis see what they have done. But how?
Henry PJ 9: Jewish witness Shia Morontz gives Henry the lead he needs to break through the Nazi denial.
Henry PJ 10: Henry learns to confront without humiliation. He challenges defendant after defendant with hard evidence, forcing them out of denial and towards responsibility.
Henry PJ 11: Henry and the Catholic chaplain arrange family visits to try to get through to the Nazis.
Henry PJ 12: Henry goes down with pneumonia due to the cold and overwork. His sons, both recovering from their war wounds come to see him and encourage him in his work.
Henry PJ 13: Henry gets Gilbert back on side, so they can stop trading atrocities.
Henry PJ 14: Henry starts to marshal evidence to get the Nazis to see. Gradually, some start coming to their senses.
Henry PJ 15: The Colonel plans to send Henry home. But the Nazis write to Alma begging for him to stay. She relents and persuades the Colonel to keep him on in Nuremberg. But to stay on, Henry must compromise and spy on the Nazis.
Deeper Layer: Henry’s sons exonerate him from his sense of guilt of encouraging them to go to war.
His wife now values the work he is doing and lets him stay.
Fuller PJ 7 Fuller teases and torments the Nazis behind bars.
Fuller PJ 8: His wisecracks earn him the enmity of his racist sergeant, who tries to attack him with a broken bottle.
Goering AJ 4: Goering’s domination is broken by the weight of visual evidence and testimony against the Nazis. And by being cut off from the other defendants.
Goering AJ 5: Makes contact with the Nazi resistance to try to stage a breakout.
Turning Point 3 Henry’s confrontation with Goering fails, as does his efforts to get through to him via his daughter. Goering’s arrogance is undiminished and Henry is forced to deny him communion.
Fuller PJ 9: All is lost moment for Fuller, who takes bets on how many Nazis will hang. His racist sergeant stakes his motherlode on 11. Looks like he’s called it right. But how will Fuller pay?
ACT 4: Confrontation with Goering, execution of the Nazis. Resolution.
Henry PJ 16: Henry’s last-ditch go-for-broke confrontation with Goering fails. He loses his temper and fears he may have blown it.
Goering AJ 6: Final refusal to accept responsibility or recognise the truth about himself; commits suicide rather than face the gallows.
Henry PJ 17: But Henry’s other efforts pay off. He finally gets through to some of the Nazis, who denounce Hitler and make their peace with God.
Climax: Goering commits suicide, while some Nazis finally accept responsibility. Ten Nazis go to the gallows.
Henry PJ 18: Henry accompanies them to the gallows – almost triggering a heart attack.
Fuller PJ 10: Only ten Nazis hang, so the Sergeant loses his bet – which means Fuller had better watch out.
Fuller PJ 11: Fuller is confronted by his racist sergeant in an alley in Nuremberg. Brannigan has had Fuller’s white girlfriend beaten and plans to cut Fuller with a knife. Fuller overcomes Sgnt Brannigan and almost kills him. The memory of Henry putting his life on the line at Dachau holds Fuller back from committing murder. He goes on the run.
Goering AJ 7: The atrocities revealed at the trial have demoralised the Nazi resistance who melt away. Goering’s body is cremated and his effigy burnt in Nuremberg – the Nazi legend is broken.
Resolution: Henry goes home to be reunited with wife and family. Resumes prison ministry. Fuller court-martialled and jailed. Henry pulls strings so Fuller to make Fuller his assistant in Menard. Fuller and Henry reconciled. Fuller learns to show mercy. Makes peace with himself. Henry dies. Fuller released to attend his memorial. Completes his story with a where-are-they-now roundup.
Fuller PJ 12: Fuller is transferred to Menard as Henry’s assistant. He learns to give and receive mercy, and is reconciled to Henry and himself.
Fuller PJ 13: to get revenge on the Nazis he tells the hangman they murdered his buddy at Malmedy. So the hangman botches the killings.
Henry PJ 19: Dies in Resolution scene. Memorial reunites old friends, sees release of Sam Fuller.
Fuller PJ 14: Completes his account to the parole board. Release to attend Henry’s memorial, where he plays the organ – hot.
Many thanks!
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Renee’s Beat Sheet Draft 1
My Vision: I will work hard to become a well-respected writer who gets my movies produced and has enough work to keep me busy and keep the lights on.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to create a beat sheet that includes the character journeys, as well as the deep layers.
Act 1: A girl goes missing in the woods.
Opening: a young girl is taken from her tent by a mysterious creature. Intercut with Claire partying.
PJ 1 – Hungover, Claire gets a call about a missing girl. She wants to refuse, but is reminded that it is part of her community service.
AJ 1 – he makes his plans to bring the creature back alive.
Inciting Incident: Claire finds out the missing girl is her niece.
Surface Layer: Claire must find her missing niece before it’s too late.
PJ 2 – She yells at her sister about putting her niece in danger.
Deeper Layer – the missing girl is actually her daughter.
AJ 2 – he goes over his plan with three members of the search and rescue team.
Deeper Layer: he wants revenge on the creature that killed his brother.
PJ 3 – Claire discovers that her former best friend is one of the volunteers and decides to let past issues go and teams up with her during the search.
Turning Point 1: The first team member is killed, while searching the grid.
Act 2: Rescuers get taken by the creature while they are searching for the girl.
PJ 4 – Claire is scared and wants to turn back but can’t leave her daughter to die.
AJ 3 – he must adjust his plans once one of his men is taken and killed but the creature.
AJ 4 – he reassures the parents that they will do everything they can to get their daughter back.
Deeper Layer: he will bring the creature back alive even if it means the girl must die.
PJ 5 – After more rescuers go missing, Claire must convince the remaining to continue on.
Turning Point 2: It’s revealed that they are to take the creature alive, even if it means letting the missing girl die.
PJ 6 – Claire opens up about her past and giving up a daughter for adoption.
PJ 7 – When one of the antagonists men gets seriously injured, she still helps him.
Act 3: Claire goes on by herself.
PJ 8 – Claire doesn’t trust Adam has her best interests at heart and decides to go out on her own.
AJ 5 – When the injured man makes it back to camp with Lexi, he decides he will have to capture the creature on his own.Turning Point 3: Claire finds her daughter, hurt and scared in the creature’s cave. Before she can rescue her Mark shows up.
PJ 9 – Claire stands in the way of Mark getting to the creature.
AJ 6 – he threatens to kill them both.
Major Reveal: Claire reveals the girl is her daughter. Mark reveals the creature killed his brother.
Act 4: Claire must kill the creature and Mark to save her daughter.
PJ 10 – Claire tries to reason with Marc. She doesn’t want to kill him.
Climax: Claire fights Mark and kills him, then must face down the creature.
Resolution: Claire and her daughter make it down the mountain. Mark’s body is brought down from the mountain.
PJ 11 – she reconciles with her sister.
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WIM2 – Dana’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
My Vision: I intend to perfect my skills to become a successful screenwriter, scripting acclaimed and profitable films, recognized by my peers, and living an adventurous life.
What I learned during this assignment:
Outlining the character beats showed me how to escalate the suspense and the pace of the script to it’s final climactic moments.
GENRE: Thriller
Protagonist: Ruth Griffin
Antagonist: The Custodian
ACT 1: Ruth is kidnapped
Ruth PJ 1: Ruth revives in the bottom of a smelting pot, trapped. She cries out for help, and hearing her echo, believes is alone, abandoned.
Custodian AJ 1: The Custodian reveals his presence, standing above Ruth on a platform gazing down at her. He’s masked.
Inciting Incident: He drops her a newspaper for a proof of life photo.
Deeper Layer: Ruth realizes she’s being held for ransom.
Ruth PJ 2: She screams at her captor, impressing upon him her importance. She’s a congressman’s wife.
Custodian AJ 2: He points to the side of the smelting pot. In red paint a sign reads: “Shh! Be quiet. You’re not alone.”
Ruth PJ3: She begins to scream for help until exhausted and convinced she’s alone.
Deeper Layer: He’s warning her that she’s in real danger and to keep quiet.
Ruth PJ4: Resting, she wakes up to hear cars enter the mill. Excited at first, she soon realizes it’s a street gang come to torture and kill one of their own. She reads the “Shh!” sign again and remains quiet.
Turning Point 1: She’s discovered by a young female gang member. Fearing for her life, she begs the girl not to expose her to the others, which the girl does and the gang leaves.
Custodian AJ 3: He sits in the shadows smoking a cigar, watching, armed in case he needs to protect Ruth.
Deeper Layer: The Custodian is keeping her alive. Why?
Act 2: Ruth learns to survive.
Ruth PJ 5: The Custodian appears again, emphasizing to be quiet. She agrees, understanding the danger surrounding her.
Custodian AJ 4: He contacts the husband by text, revealing their conspiracy to kidnap Ruth. The husband tries to renegotiate the deal.
Deeper Level: Ruth’s husband wants her dead, but he cannot be trusted.
Ruth PJ 6: Ruth battles a rattle snake that falls into the smelting pot. She begins to realize her courage and strength.
Ruth PJ 7: A derelict lowers a ladder and climbs into the smelting pot to assault Ruth, but she fails to fight him off, and he knocks her down to assault her.
Custodian AJ 5: He appears from nowhere to save Ruth, roping the derelict around the neck and hanging him above the smelting pot.
Deeper Level: He must keep her alive until paid, then she can be left to die.
Ruth PJ 8: The young gang member who found Ruth returns, curious. Ruth begs the woman for help convincing her to handover her cell phone for Ruth to call the police.
Midpoint: Ruth’s escape plan
Custodian AJ 6: The Custodian kills the young woman and drops her body into the smelting pot with Ruth. Then demands the phone, which Ruth throws at him.
Custodian AJ 7: The Custodian uses the girls cell phone to call Ruth’s husband and reveal his involvement in the kidnapping. Ruth realizes her husband is involved in her kidnapping.
Deeper Level: Ruth knows she’s going to be killed.
Ruth PJ 10: Hearing the Custodian leave, Ruth uses the girl’s body as a step stool to reach the edge of the pot to climb out. Then climbs onto the hanging derelict to reach the platform. Before she fully escapes, the Custodian returns.
Custodian AJ 8: He returns to find Ruth has escaped.
Deeper Level: He supplied the means of her escape.
Ruth PJ 11: Hiding in the shadows of the mill, Ruth finds her way to the gang members car to escape.
Custodian AJ 9: He must kill Ruth to prevent his conspiracy with her husband from being revealed.
Climax: Ruth fights for her freedom
Ruth PJ 12: Opening the car door, the girl’s rottweiler barks at Ruth, revealing her location to the Custodian. She flees into the mill as the dog breaks from the car chasing after her.
Ruth PJ 13: Chased through the mill, Ruth is cornered by the Custodian on the platform over the smelting pot and must fight or die.
Custodian AJ 10: He’s attacked by the rottweiler and lands in the smelting pot presumed dead.
Ruth PJ 14: Ruth finds the Custodian’s cell phone in the bag of ransom money and calls police.
Resolution: Ruth gets her revenge
Ruth PJ 15: In the back of the ambulance, waiting to be taken to the hospital, Ruth reveals to her husband that she has the Custodian’s cell phone with his text messages.
Deeper Level: Your ass is mine!
Custodian AJ 11: When the police attempt to retrieve his body from the smelting pot, he’s gone. Vanished.
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Joel Stern’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
Module 4 Lesson 3
My Vision: To write eight screenplays
that become Hollywood blockbusters (and to get a line in at least
one).What I learned from this assignment:
How to create the first draft of a Beat Sheet.Genre: Thriller
ACT 1: Jim steps off train, a WW II Medal of Honor winner finally
home at the end of the war. He joins loving wife (high school sweetheart) and
young child. Ahh, it’s great to be a civilian again in his Las Vegas
hometown!Jim PJ 1: Jim enjoys an occasional drink. And poker. No biggie –
yet. Looks for work. Not that easy, even for a war hero. Wife nags
about money, but they can survive for now. Her occasional coughs are a dark
cloud on the horizon.Jim PJ 2: Jim learns that his wife has terminal cancer. After
doing odd jobs to make ends meet he gets a prestigious job as TV Crime
Reporter in early 1950s Las Vegas. Covers murders. This triggers flashbacks about
his Medal of Honor “incident” in Germany; gambles heavily at a local
casino racking up sizeable debt. Wears out his hero status and a
generous line of credit.Deep Layer: Why is Jim is able to continue gambling?
Sal AJ 1: Local mob boss Sal starts harassing Jim with collection phone calls.
Friendly at first, non threatening. A flashback shows eight-year-old
Jim at the front door watching his dad pay off a loan shark – after
a punch in the face. It’s something young Jim will never forget. Must
be the same guy.Deeper Layer: Sal seems to know too much about Jim’s background
and mental state. He knows how to “press Jim’s buttons”. He knows
Jim’s mental profile because he really is Jim!Sal AJ 2: Sal’s phone calls vacillate between a knock-knock joke-telling
“Goomba” to violent psychopath.Jim PJ 3: Jim’s wife dies.
INCITING INCIDENT: Sal gives Jim an ultimatum: pay your debt or
the murder victims in your TV crime reports will be your loved ones.ACT 2: Grieving Jim is faced with a mobster after him, huge
medical bills and a young child to raise alone. But his soldering
discipline pays off for the time being: he gets a second job – at a
gas station.Jim PJ 4: Jim pays back some debt but it’s not enough. Sal’s
calls are more frequent. More drinking, more gambling.Jim PJ 5: He meets Carol, a local newspaper reporter. He wants her
help in finding and exposing Sal.Deeper Layer: Carol is an undercover FBI agent investigating Jim’s
WW II heroics – is Jim really a war criminal instead?Sal PJ 3: Dials back the threats a bit. Tells Jim he’s a WWII vet
also, has a wife and kid. Tells Jim knock-knock jokes. Maybe he’s not
a ruthless psychopath after all.ACT 3: Jim’s TV crime reports turn up horrifying results.
Jim PJ6: He’s working on a story about a missing Las Vegas
tourist. Jim arrives at the crime scene where the dead “tourist”
is his father!Sal PJ 4: Sal calls Jim: “Do you believe me now?”
Jim PJ 7: Carol, undercover, works with local police to find the
killer. Jim wants to quit but his boss won’t let him. Ratings are too
high – Jim’s a celebrity.Jim PJ 8: Jim decides to stay on the job. He must find and kill
Sal.Sal PJ 5: Sal’s phone calls to Jim are almost non-stop – at all
hours. Sal finally proposes to meet Jim face to face to “work
things out”.Jim PJ 9: Jim goes to agreed meeting place but Sal doesn’t show.
ACT 4: Jim unravels.
Jim PJ 10: He’s sent to cover another crime and the victim is his
brother. He’s arrested. Jim’s has a nervous breakdown during the
arrest.At Jim’s bedside in the hospital Carol reveals who she really is.
Jim confesses his war crime – killing a group of children in a
church he actually thought were German soldiers. But the evidence she
found was that they were indeed German soldiers and that he saved a
village of innocent civilian from certain death. But now he faces the
murder of his father and brother who Jim hallucinated as being German officers. -
Joyce’s Beat Draft # 1
Vision to create memorable movie scripts which actors want to perform.
WIL: The Genre has changed somewhat, but it is rounding out.
Genre: Action / Drama
ACT 1:
PJ 1: Colin has one shot at a graduate degree, but when his professor’s controversial manuscript is stolen and the professor left for dead, he is chosen to find the attacker and the manuscript.
PJ 2: The police suspect him.
AJ 1: Delaney pushes to go after the manuscript.
Deeper Layer: Colin is against the argument the professor wants published.
AJ 2: Delaney dislikes Colin.
INCITING INCIDENT: The class draws straws and Colin’s shortest straw sends him on the investigation which will end his graduate studies.
AJ 3: Delaney fakes the next shortest straw so that she can accompany Colin.
Deeper Layer: She desperately wants the manuscript even though it will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s followers, the tourism, and his legacy.
PJ 3: Colin visits the ailing professor to eke out information.
TURNING POINT 1: With clues to an unpublished play “Cardenio” Colin and Delaney are stopped at the airport and lose their passports.
ACT 2: Delaney pulls strings and they sail to Italy on a commercial ship.
PJ 4: In Italy, Colin must sharpen his wits for they are being followed.
<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Turning point 2:
<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>AJ 5: Delaney sabotages their secrecy.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Delaney isn’t a struggling graduate student, but from an aristocratic background.
PJ. 5: Colin finds a family who have information passed down about “Cardenio” and three other plays never printed in a folio.
AJ. 6: Delaney loses some of her anger against Colin and agrees to help.
DEEPER LEVEL REAVEAL: Delaney has met with the attacker who is a more dangerous antagonist than she is and she offers to get him the manuscript to save Colin.
Turning Point 3:
PJ: 6: Colin rescues the manuscript sent to professor’s contact in Italy.
Act 3:
Deeper Reveal
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>AJ.7: Delaney has ancestors who have been considered the real authors of Shakespeare’s works, but she may die for it.
AJ.8: Delaney does not steal the manuscript, so the attacker kidnaps her.
PJ. 7: In the lowlands of the Italian Alps Colin searches for Delaney.
DEEPER LEVEL REVEAL: Colin admits he cares more about Delaney than the Shakespeare legacy.
AJ.9 :Delaney tricks the attacker and leaves clues.
<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Turning point 4:
PJ. 8: Colin finds her and struggles with the attacker. to wrest the manuscript from him.
AJ.10: Delaney tears open the manuscript and throws it into the wind over a valley.
AJ.1: The real antagonist dies .
Act 4:
PJ. 9:Colin sneaks back into the country with Delaney’s help.
Resolution
P.J. 10: Colin fails in his journey, but he moves near the professor to reconstruct the manuscript.
Climax
AJ. 11: Delaney hires a person to care for professor so that she and Colin can return to Italy to find proof of the other three plays never printed.
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Amy’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
Vision: I want to become known as an expert in the family-friendly genre and make a full-time living as a screenwriter.
What I learned from doing this assignment is doing this helps me map out not only the characters’ external journeys but also their internal journeys.
Title: Unroyally in Love
Act 1: Stephanie has a royal fit over a glitch in her schedule
Stephanie PJ 1: Stephanie attends the royal masquerade ball and runs into Jack disguised by a mask. She gets angry when he reveals himself and the two spar verbally.
Jack AJ 1: Jack attends the royal masquerade ball and tries to woo Princess Stephanie while in disguise. He reveals himself and then argues with her.
Inciting Incident: Historian informs the family that they are not royals
Stephanie PJ 2: Stephanie visits her father’s grave to talk to him about what’s just happened and vows that she will do what he would have done in this situation.
Jack PJ 2: He finds out about Stephanie’s predicament and approaches her about helping her, even though he knows she hates him.
Turning Point 1: The news gets out that Stephanie’s family is not really royal. The country is in chaos. Stephanie must accept help from Prince Jack who she hates from the country next door.
Stephanie: PJ 3: Stephanie gets booted out of the castle and accepts Jack’s offer to live in castle until she can get back on her feet.
Jack AJ 3: Gets Stephanie to agree to let him help her. His father, the king of their country, doesn’t want him to get involved. He decides to try to make Stephanie fall in love with him just to see if he can.
Act 2: Stephanie tries to learn how to be a commoner by doing common things like going shopping.
Stephanie PJ 4: Stephanie lets Jack take her shopping like commoners do. Completely out of her element, Stephanie starts ordering everyone in the store around. She and Jack have to leave in shame.
Deeper layer: Stephanie has no intention of accepting the fact that she’s not a royal.
Jack AJ 4: Jack, who is really comfortable with commoners, sets out to help Stephanie become a commoner while letting her stay at his castle.
Stephanie PJ 5: Stephanie goes with Jack to a local park to interact with commoners. It turns into a media circus and they have to run. She starts to fall prey to Jack’s charms.
Jack AJ 5: Jack takes Stephanie to a local park to interact with commoners. He is making her laugh and have a good time despite her best efforts to resist his charms.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: After Stephanie is properly exposed to the public, news reporters peg her as a horrible person
Stephanie PJ 6: Stephanie hides out at Jack’s castle.
Jack AJ 6: Jack realizes he actually has feelings for Stephanie and accidently lets it slip out. Jack’s father forbids him from helping Stephanie anymore (although he allows her to continue staying at the castle. He helps Stephanie in secret because being seen with her in public is not a PR nightmare for his own country.
Deeper layer: Jack’s is deliberately going against his father (who he has a dysfunctional relationship with) to help Stephanie.
Act 3: Stephanie’s eyes are opened to all the suffering in her kingdom and she decides to use her fame to help people. She sets out to help an orphanage.
Stephanie PJ 7: Stephanie contacts a local orphanage and invites the press along to bring awareness to the plight of the children and to volunteer her services.
Jack AJ 7: Jack sets out to win Stephanie over for real.
Turning Point 3: Stephanie gets caught up in all the attention. It becomes painfully obvious to everyone that she was not doing “good” for the right reasons. She’s rejected by everyone, including Jack.
Stephanie PJ 8: Stephanie starts spending more and more time talking to the press and her adoring fans than helping the orphanage. Everyone realizes this and turns on her.
Jack AJ 8: Jack rejects Stephanie after he realizes she was only helping the orphanage to make a good name for herself.
Deeper layer: After the public and Jack’s rejection, Stephanie comes face to face with her true self and must decide if she is going to go on being who she always was or change.
Act 4 Climax: Stephanie swallows her pride and helps the homeless woman who is the real princess.
Stephanie PJ 9: Stephanie seeks out the homeless woman, has her people give her a makeover and a whole new wardrobe and educated her on how to be a royal.
Stephanie PJ 10: Stephanie gives an impassioned speech to her country as her final act as princess and gives over her title to the homeless woman
Jack AJ 9: Jack stands up to his father and decides to go after Stephanie.
Deeper layer: Jack has learned how to stand on his own two feet.
Deeper layer: Stephanie is now a selfless and caring person.
Resolution: Stephanie gets Jack back. She gets a cushy job.
Stephanie PJ 11: The rightful princess appoints Stephanie an ambassador for her country.
Jack AJ 10: Jack is reunited with Stephanie and makes amends with his father. His father steps down so Jack can be king.
Stephanie PJ 12: Stephanie accepts Jack’s proposal.
Jack AJ 11: Jack proposes to Stephanie.
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Marcus’ Beat Sheet – Draft 1
My Vision: I have well-founded confidence that what I write is excellent and will be acknowledged as excellent by everyone who reads it.
This assignment teaches the first steps in creating the all-important beat sheet.
Movie Title: “Beyond the Faded Trail”
Barnet PJ-Jake Barnet’s Protagonist Journey
Whitaker TJ-Isaac Castle/Holland Whitaker’s Triangle Journey
Rickey AJ-Lucien Ricky’s Antagonist Journey
Genre: Drama
ACT 1: A burgeoning western town, rapidly growing. Jake Barnet has started a business as a building contractor.
Rickey AJ 1: Rickey tries to get revenge on the railroad. He has put together a gang to rob its payroll shipments. Rickey is smart about how he leads his gang and they are very successful.
Barnet PJ 1: Barnet thinks he’s in love with prostitute Charlotte and tries to buy her contract from the saloon/brothel owner.
GENRE CONVENTION: Barnet’s failed love life and clumsy way of trying to correct it.
Whitaker TJ 1: Whitaker shaves, puts on glasses and a new hat and assumes a new identity, Isaac Castle. He takes up residence in a new town where his skills as a carpenter get him a foreman job. His plan comes together and he hires all experienced gunmen to work for him as carpenters. He sees wanted posters go up.
INCITING INCIDENT: A fire of unknown origin destroys Barnet’s building supplies (lumber) as well as damaging the building under construction.
TURNING POINT 1: The customer is angry with Barnet, who has no further source of wood. He threatens to go to Barnet’s competitor, and demands his money back.
Whitaker TJ 2: Secretly burns his boss’ lumber and the building under construction.
Barnet PJ 2: Barnet decides to skip town. There’s nothing for him here.
Whitaker TJ 3: Convinces Barnet to stay by telling him of a source of lumber as well as possibly some hidden money, in an abandoned town.
ACT 2: The journey to the ghost town.
Barnet PJ 3: Barnet gains the respect of his men by showing his hidden skills at shooting and horseback riding and knife fighting.
Rickey AJ 2: During his falling out with Whitaker, he seduces Adelaide, who has come to see him as a real man and Whitaker as an indecisive coward.
GENRE CONVENTION: The relationship between Rickey and Adelaide, and Whitaker and Adelaide.
TURNING POINT 2: Lucien Rickey’s gang rolls into town.
Barnet PJ 3: First night in Justice, Barnet finds out that it was Castle who burned the lumber. He is angry but avoids direct confrontation with Castle. Instead, they talk about why Castle, didn’t run for mayor of their town. Castle admits who he is. Early the next morning, they spot Rickey’s gang on its way into town, unexpectedly.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: A criminal gang uses the abandoned town as a hideout.
ACT 3: Confrontation with the gang who uses the town as a hideout.
Barnet PJ 4: Barnet must decide whether to run and hide or try to overcome his fear of battle and lead his men.
TURNING POINT 3:
ACT 4: The big gunfight.
CLIMAX: Barnet sees Castle/Whitaker gunned down in the street. His men starting an erratic disorganized gunfight. He must take action or flee. Barnet and a few others sneak around the back of the saloon and flanks Rickey and his men.
Whitaker TJ 4: Whitaker confronts Rickey and accidently shoots Adelaide, starting a gunfight with Rickey’s gang.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Whitaker is a former member of this gang and has engineered the entire expedition in order to get back at his former associate and get his girlfriend back.
CHANGES REALITY: Although Barnet and his men feel like they’ve been tricked by Whitaker, Whitaker has been preparing them all for this fight all along, even Barnet. The payoff for the men will be the reward money for Rickey, which Barnet will give to the men as a bonus and the lumber for Barnet who now takes his business more seriously.
Rickey AJ 3: Rickey guns down Whitaker. Adelaide crawls to Whitaker, rejecting Rickey and seeing him for what he is, a selfish, power-hungry crook.
Barnet PJ 5: Barnet chases Rickey up an alley and they have a fight which Barnet wins using all his skills. He captures Rickey and hangs him.
RESOLUTION: Return to town where they get to work.
Barnet PJ 5: Settles into his business as a contractor with loyal hard-working men.
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WIM Vic Valleau MODULE 4, LESSON 3 BEAT SHEET 1
VISION: As a writer, I am an alchemist, turning the ordinary into gold, creating screenplays in demand from buyers.
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS: I’m hesitant to do beat sheet. I feel constrained. I’m a gardener, planting story ideas to bloom, not an architect who works from a blueprint with set points.
Protag Journey Structure;
Bobs journeys starts with him being public, Guiness worlds record of donations??? On table book is proof of his even puffed up important. from lonely birthday party to falling in love, first with Mia a married woman, then with Minnie, the right woman. .
Antag Journey Structure:
Wyle journeys starts with his muscle contest photos and keeping his secret of being sterile, blaming Mia.
Deeper Layer
Bob fights real love, lives in fantasy of important to grows up.
Wyle’s disrespect for everyone.
Genre conventions
Cute meet? Minnie giggles at Bob’s embarrassment.
Protag Journey Structure Loves Mia wrongly
Antag Journey Structure: Wyle hates Bob, yet accepts Mia’s need for baby.
Deeper Layer: Both men see Mia’s need for a baby
Genre conventions
ACT 3
Protag Journey Structure:
Bob: Diamond ring proposal to Mia, separated from Wyle.
Antag Journey Structure Wyle attacks Bob. Reconciles with Mia.
Deeper Layer Mano a mano, who wins
Genre conventions: loses girl
ACT 4
Protag Journey Structure: Desperate “Daddy” quest to baby calls him Daddy in front of police, to Minnie kisses him and asks ”Do you want to be a daddy?” He gives up “Daddy” quest but finds love. .
Antag Journey Structure
Gets busted by SAM reporting to police.
Deeper Layer
Jealous woman, Bob’s stepping up, being a man.
Genre conventions
Happily ever after? Bob gets unmarried girl, better than Mia married. Minnie finally accepts flowers from Bob, after secret crush.
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from this assignment is how to put together a beat sheet based on an initial structure, character journeys, story layers and genre conventions.
Genre: Action/Thriller
ACT 1: Terrorist Attacks Start to Occur
Rick PJ 1: Special Agent Rick O’Brien and his partner try to rescue a hostage, and both the hostage and his partner are killed
Rick PJ 2: Six months later, Rick is at home, sequestered away from his family.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick blames himself for what happened and is battling soul crushing depression.
INCITING INCIDENT: A woman plants a bomb in a skyscraper. He face shimmers after the bomb goes off, and mask falls to the ground. She runs off, with no memory of what she just did. Rick is summoned by his boss to investigate the incident, along with Special Agent Sean Gray.
Sean AJ 1: Sean prepares a video message that he sends to the FBI, where his image is blurred, and he states in a disguised voice why the bombings are happening, and that there will be more to come.
Rick PJ 3: Rick investigates the crime scene. He finds evidence of what type of bomb was used.
Sean AJ 2: Sean investigates the crime scene along with Rick. He finds the mask on the street, where it fell off the woman’s face.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick has no idea that he’s working alongside the man who caused the explosion.
Sean AJ 3: Sean thanks Rick for his help and wishes him well.
Rick PJ 4: Rick goes home and starts to open up a bit to his family.
TURNING POINT 1: Two more attacks much like the first one occur. Rick’s boss reactivates him as now they’re dealing with a serial terrorist.
ACT 2:
Rick and Sean go after the mastermind behind the bombings.
Rick PJ 4: Rick arrives at the field office to see what leads there are if any. He is once again assigned to partner up with Sean Gray.
Sean AJ 4: Sean sends a second video message to the FBI that he and Rick watch, in which he gloats over the bombings, and states that there will be even more coming, and in greater numbers.
Sean AJ 5: Sean analyzes the mask he found at the first crime scene and discovers that it can control the mind of the person who wears it.
DEEPER LAYER: No one but Sean knows that he’s covering his tracks by being the one to “figure out” how the mask works.
Rick PJ 5: Rick finds more evidence of the same type of bomb that was used in the previous attack.
Sean AJ 6: Sean is invaluable in helping figure out how the masks found at each scene connect to the bombings. He also plants evidence at each scene unbeknownst to Rick, which Rick finds, and it helps build a case against the wrong man.
TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Rick and Sean tie the bombings to a former terrorist who used similar materials for his bombs. He shoots at Sean when they go to arrest him, and Rick pushes him out of the way just in time, saving his life in the process. The bombings cease for a time.
Rick PJ 6: Rick invites Sean to dinner with his family.
Sean AJ 7: Sean, who is single, accepts and brings dessert.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick has saved the life of the man they’re trying to bring to justice and has also brought a wolf in sheep’s clothing to meet his family.
ACT 3:
Rick and Sean learn they caught the wrong man.
Sean AJ 8: Sean sends another video message, telling the FBI that they caught the wrong man, and that there will be a whole slew of bombings coming up, and that there’s nothing they can do to stop them.
Rick PJ 7: Rick alerts all FBI field offices to this latest threat.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick starts to spiral downhill emotionally, and withdraws back into his shell, as feelings of inadequacy and depression over their failed attempt to capture the terrorist threaten to overwhelm him.
TURNING POINT 3: Five more cities are bombed.
Rick PJ 7: Rick resigns from the FBI and goes home. He opens up to his wife about how he’ll never be able to make things right, due to too many people dying under his watch. She tells him the way to make things right is to press forward until the terrorist is caught.
Sean AJ 9: Sean is equally upset about the latest bombings and berates the bureau about not catching who’s behind them.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick opens up to his wife about how he’ll never be able to make things right, due to too many people dying under his watch. She tells him the way to make things right is to press forward until the terrorist is caught.
ACT 4: Rick figures it out
Climax / Ultimate Expression of the Conflict
Rick PJ 7: Rick puts the pieces together and discovers that Sean is the bomber.
Sean AJ 9: Rick confronts Sean at the office, and he tells Rick he did it, so that the FBI would have some hands on training on how to stop terrorist attacks, as opposed to just going through the motions with some pre-planned exercise. He goes on to say that even though people have died from his scenarios, many more people will be saved once the FBI is able to spot and prevent them from happening. Rick tries to arrest Sean, they fight, and Sean gains the upper hand. He tells Rick normally he’d just kill him, but since he saved his life earlier in the case, he’ll let him live. His wife though won’t be so fortunate. Sean knocks Rick out and activates all of the masks and timers on the bombs he sent his new group of helpers, and they all get in their cars with bombs in tow, their timers counting down.
Sean AJ 10: Sean stops off at Rick’s house, carrying a package. He puts it on the doorstep, and then rings the doorbell. Rick’s wife comes to the door, and she and Sean talk for a moment. Sean points out the package on the doorstep, and she takes it inside. Sean drives away. Rick’s wife opens the package and pulls out a mask. A light shines in her eyes, and an audible voice tells her to put it on. She complies, and her face changes so that she looks like someone else. The voice then instructs her to pull a bomb out of the package and to head to a downtown, where she’ll receive further instructions. Rick’s wife puts the bomb in her purse, the timer activates, and she drives away.
Resolution
Rick PJ 8: Rick puts all agents on the lookout for Sean, as he jumps in his car and drives off. Rick pulls up to his house and runs inside. His wife is nowhere to be found. Sean is spotted by a pair of agents, and they call Rick, who runs to his car and joins in the chase. Meanwhile, Rick’s wife gets to the building her mask has instructed her to go to, and she goes inside. Sean is run off the road, by the other agents in front of a mall. He gets out of his car and a gunfight ensues, and Sean ends up shooting both agents, and runs in to the mall. Rick pulls up and checks on the agents, who are both wounded, but alive. They tell Rick where Sean ran off to, and Rick runs into the mall. He finds Sean and pursues him on foot. Rick’s wife takes an elevator to the 25<sup>th</sup> floor.
Sean AJ 11: Sean makes his way to the roof of the mall, with Rick close behind. Rick’s wife plants the bomb in a utility closet. The timer has only five minutes left before it goes off. The voice coming from her mask tells her to remain of the 25<sup>th</sup> floor. She stands in the hallway and looks at her phone. Sean’s helpers in the other cities he’s sent his packages to plant their bombs as well, the timers on each of them have just minutes left.
Rick PJ 9: Rick and Sean fight and Rick overpowers him. Sean pulls out his phone and then throws it over the side of the building. Rick knocks Sean unconscious and goes over to the edge. The phone is on a walkway about eight feet down. Rick drops down to the walkway and picks it up. But just as he goes to open up the app to stop the timers on the bombs, Sean grabs his wrist, and they struggle. There’s only 20 seconds left on each bomb’s timer. Rick gets the upper hand, throws Sean off the walkway, and he plunges to his death. There’s five seconds left on the timer. Rick opens the app that will stop the bombs’ timers, and they all stop with one second left. The masks on each of Sean’s helpers including Rick’s wife, start shimmering and fall off, revealing their true identities, and they all stand where they’re at, without any recollection of what happened. The nightmare is over, and the country is safe once more. Rick is awarded the Presidential Freedom medal by the President of the United States and is promoted to field office supervisor.
The Deeper layer
Surface Layer: Special Agent Rick
O’Brien and his new partner Sean Gray, are assigned to find and bring the
mastermind behind terrorist attacks occurring through the country to
justice.· Deeper Layer: The deeper layer is that Sean Gray is the terrorist.
· Major Reveal: The big reveal is at the end of the story, when Rick figures out Sean is the one behind the terrorist attacks.
· Influences Surface Story: Sean helps Rick with their investigation on the surface, but in reality, he’s always leading them away just enough, to prevent Rick from connecting the dots back to him.
· Hints: Sean is always the first to investigate one of the bombing sites, due to them being up on the 20<sup>th</sup> floor of a skyscraper, and Rick hates heights. This gives Sean ample time to plant or alter evidence so that it points away from him being the bomber.
· Changes Reality: When it’s revealed that Sean is the bomber, we the story shift from two dedicate FBI agents trying to bring a madman to justice, to it really being one agent trying to save lives while the bomber was working alongside him the whole time.
Genre Conventions: Thriller
Purpose: To thrill your audience with high stakes, plot twists, and
suspense that never lets up until the adrenalin packed climax.
Life and Death Situations: They face danger at every step — either
physically, emotionally, or mentally. The hero needs to either be in danger
or there is the implication of future danger.
Mystery/Intrigue/Suspense: There’s a mystery that must be solved in
order to survive. Intrigue is the underhanded and covert Villain’s plan.
Suspense comes from the danger the Hero faces.
Hero: Unknowing, unwitting, but resourceful hero
Villain: Dangerous, devious, and unrelenting. Committed to destroy
anyone who gets in their way.
Main Emotions: Suspense, intrigue, mystery, tension, anticipation,
uncertainty, and surprise.
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MODULE FOUR LESSON THREE
FRAN’S BEAT SHEET DRAFT ONE
MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.
WHAT I LEARNED: Same. Just keep plugging away. Just let your inner self work on the writing and keep studying, learning. Learn wherever your whimsy takes you! Make it a kind of mental field trip. It really makes you think about your characters, too!
WORKING TITLE: WINTER’S LOST LOVE
GENRE: HISTORICAL FICTION/DRAMA
LOGLINE: The discovery of an old diary written by a friend of Czar Nicholas II’s daughter turns the doomed princess’s little known, tragic love story into a blockbuster Hollywood movie and an Oscar for its discoverer and screenwriter.
BEAT SHEET DRAFT ONE
ACT I
Meredith Kearns decides to end her working and marital relationship with her husband and go it alone to make it in the movie business.
MPJ Protagonist
Meredith Kearns. Her husband treats her like dirt. Walk all over her. Dishonors their working relationship. She’s had enough. She wants out of the partnership and her marriage. She takes steps to being that process. To heal and to have a better life.
JAJ Antagonist
Jerome’s career isn’t going the way he wants it to and he’s taking it out on Meredith. He’s also gotten himself in too deep with financial problems. And his later affair with his leading lady is draining him to the point of no return. He’s looking for a way to redeem himself, while taking his misery out on Meredith
DEEPER LAYER
The marriage/partnership hasn’t worked for years. Meredith’s work as a screenplay writer suffers because of her bullying, dominating, director/producer husband whose own career is failing because of his shortcomings and because of his many affairs with his leading starlets. She’s let is slide, told no one, prayed it would resolve, but it hasn’t. Finally, she realizes it isn’t going to get any better and finally confides in someone who can an does help her.
GENRE CONVENTIONS:
Meredith’s new screenplay is based on a time in history concerning the Romanov family during World War I and the Russian Revolution, the story of Grand Duchess Olga (a real person) in her last days.
BEGINNING:
Jerome and Meredith Kearns, a married couple who also share a partnership in the movie business as screenwriter and director/producer of films, are currently shooting a film in Russia, on location. They have taken time off to go shopping for a birthday/Christmas gift for their daughter, Alexandra. On the outside, they appear as a normal, loving couple who loves their daughter.
MPJ
Meredith is unhappy as she shops for her daughter’s gift, as well as other items of interest. She allows her husband to dominate, have control (say) over their purchases. She spots an old book, a diary, starts reading it. The story inside interests her. She thinks it could be a great story idea for another screenplay. She wants to purchase the book. In order to do so, she hides it from her husband in her purse when he’s not looking and purchases the book herself before they leave the shop.
Returning home, Meredith opens up the diary, begins reading.
JAJ
Jerome is a blustery, show-off. He likes to throw his money around. Play the important movie mogul. He buys a string of pearls, very expensive, for their daughter. Pearls that are alleged to have belonged to the last Grand Duchess of Russia during her last days on this earth. Meredith has no say in the purchase. Jerome tells her she is not to buy her item, the old diary. It’s way too overpriced and to leave it. (She doesn’t listen. Buys it anyway.) he is deliberately belligerent about his dictating to her. After the purchase he ignores his wife as they leave the shop.
Jerome doesn’t stay home for very long. A disagreement (a ploy to get him out of the apartment) lends its help for Jerome’s escape to his mistress’s apartment where they continue on with their torrid affair behind Meredith’s back.
DEEPER LAYER
Jerome is experiencing money problems, for one thing. Cash flow for the film. He’s hidden it from Meredith. His troubles stem from disgruntled other producers who are footing the bill. The film’s overbudget and taking way too long to complete. The partners are breathing down his neck to get it done or they’re going to pull the plug on him.
Jerome is also experiencing a mid-life crisis, having an affair with a starlet 20 years his junior. Feeling old, looks are fading. Maybe the starlets don’t want to hang around him anymore. Hence, playing the Daddy Warbucks persona for them to get them to like him.
GENRE CONVENTIONS:
They are in Russia filming. It is winter. The diary Meredith purchases was written by a friend of Grand Duchess Olga when they worked together in the military hospital during World War I. The shop itself where the couple shop in an older shop, of collectables and antiques of historical interest. The mood of the opening scenes is decidedly dramatic.
We begin to learn the story of Grand Duchess Olga and the Romanov family when Meredith begins reading Valentina’s (Olga friend in the hospital) diary. Her story is set in the late 19<sup>th</sup> – early 20<sup>th</sup> centuries.
INCITING INCIDENT:
ON SET. Meredith, co-producer on the movie as well as screenwriter, experiences the wrath of her husband when the day’s shooting of one important scene isn’t going well. He tells Meredith it’s her fault. Her writing is mediocre, not good enough and he wants the scene he’s having trouble shooting fixed. And Jerome won’t listen to Meredith’s input when she offers solutions that might “fix” his problem. Starlet isn’t helping either. She’s griping about the scene herself, grand standing to get Jerome’s attention.
MPJ
Meredith tries to come up with scenes she thinks Jerome will like. Nothing pleases him. She says she’ll try to fix it, but that’s the way the story was told from the material she adapted. She really doesn’t want to fix what isn’t broken.
JAJ
Jerome won’t listen to it. He tells her to fix it now AND the way he wants it fixed, or he’s hiring a writer who will. He walks out with the shooting’s done for the day—until the scene’s fixed!
DEEPER LAYER
The film over budget, over the days allotted to film it, the money lenders are breathing down Jerome’s neck. They are telling him if it continues much longer, they are going to pull the plug on the production.
GENRE CONVENTIONS:
Drama playing out between Meredith and Jerome. She learns of her husband’s latest affair with their star.
BY PAGE TEN:
We know Meredith has a huge working and marital relationship problem with her husband. She’s not happy and she’s looking for a way out. She wants to be happy.
MPJ
Meredith has had enough of her husband’s bullying and keeping her at arm’s length and not treating her as an equal partner in their business. And of his torrid affairs that continue to hit the tabloids whenever they happen and make a fool out of her.
JAJ
Is a bully, abusive and he’s pretty much failing at his work and his relationship with Meredith. Not ot mention he’s in a financial crisis AND a midlife crisis.
DEEPER LAYER
The extramarital affair, the financial problems. Jerome’s hiding it all from Meredith.
GENRE CONVENTIONS:
We are introduced to Grand Duchess Olga’s story through the diary and other historical means. The main story is also a drama.
TURNING POINT ONE:
Meredith is fired from her job on the movie and is forced to find other work.
MPJ
Meredith calls her agent, tells her what has happened. She’s had enough and wants out of her working relationship with Jerome. And she wants a divorce. She asks her to see if there’s something out there new for her to do. She also tells her agent about the diary she discovered and thinks she wants to turn it into a script. At least she wants to try. The agent’s supportive and tells her she’ll look around. Try to find something she can do.
JAJ
Another setback for Jerome. The scene still isn’t to his liking. He’s just using it as an excuse. He’s also already hired his new writer. He tells Meredith on the set, in front of their staff, she’s fired.
DEEPER LAYER
We learn it’s not only Jerome’s financial situation that’s hurting the relationship. It’s the young starlet and her demands on the film. Jerome is not about to lose his relationship with her and caters to her whims. So, it’s either her or Meredith. Jerome decides it’s Meredith who’s got to go to keep his paramour happy.
GENRE CONVENTIONS:
Olga’s love story is as turbulent as Meredith’s. She’s fallen for one man beneath her station. Then another she wishes to marry. They are madly in love. But circumstances later on will keep them apart. The assassination of Rasputin that he is involved in and then Olga’s mother, the Czarina Alexandra who was mesmerized by Rasputin, is unforgiving when Olga’s intended is discovered to be part of the plot. He is banished from the kingdom never to see Olga or Russia ever again.
MIDPOINT:
Meredith gets a new, fresh start, a new job, a new partner.
MPJ
Meredith’s agent has found someone who loves her story idea and is willing to work with her on the new project. To front the film. Meredith jumps at the chance to start fresh, be on her own with a new partner.
She also learns her daughter supports her in her decisions. She knows about her father’s affairs and how he’s been treating her mother for awhile now.
And then Meredith learns who her new partner is. He’s an old flame from her past, and an old rival of Jerome’s.
JAJ
Jerome finally finishes his filming, but the work isn’t as good as he wanted it to be. The film festival he debuts it at does not receive the work well—as well as he would have wanted it to be. At some point he learns his work has been ridiculed.
DEEPER LAYER
The old flame not only wants to see if he can renew their relationship, he wants to stick it to Jerome for treating Meredith the way he has.
Old flame also knows of Jerome’s infidelities and wants to help Meredith break away from the pain and heartache. As well as reaching her full potential in becoming a screenwriter.
GENRE CONVENTIONS:
In many ways Meredith’s struggles are Olga’s struggles, needing to step up to the plate, wanting a fulfilling love, dealing with a difficult mother, nothing ever really truly going her way in life (on top of it Olga has to struggle with an ailing brother. She thinks he can rule Russia if Alexei doesn’t live to become Czar. By law she can never rule. Women weren’t allowed to rule then.)
Dealing with world war. The death of Rasputin. Living like hostages at a military hospital taking care of wounded soldiers.
TURNING POINT TWO:
Old Flame, producers are really happy with Meredith’s work. The film is excellent. Meredith is healing from her emotional wounds.
MPJ
Meredith is becoming stronger, more resilient to Jerome’s advances and pleas. She has the courage, the strength to finally say no.
JAJ
Jerome tries to win Meredith back, begs her, knowing he made a huge mistake. And he tries to get her to come back by sabotaging his old rival’s work.
Jerome tries to sabotage Meredith’s work, spreads rumors about her and her old flame.
DEEPER LAYER
The truth comes out. The old flame was a far better film student when he and Jerome were in Film school together. Jerome’s jealousy deepens the rift between him and Meredith. The working relationships he has, his final failure as a prestigious film director producer.
GENRE CONVENTIONS:
Olga’s new love, Dmitri II (the second Dmitri she fell in love with) has captured her heart, but he is not the man she thinks he is. He ruins her reputation by showing love letters she wrote to him while he was recovering, he spreads rumors, calls her unsavory names. Her heart is broken.
CRISIS:
Meredith finalizes her divorce after much contention and litigation. Jerome makes her life miserable.
MPJ
She overcomes her difficulties with Jerome and her career when the film and screenplay she wrote are very well accepted, critically acclaimed. She is nominated for an Oscar, best screenplay.
JAJ
Jerome is jealous of her good fortune. He is a broken man. His world collapses around him.
DEEPER LAYER
Olga’s life is tattered when the family is taken and held as prisoners of the Revolution. They do not know if they will live or die.
GENRE CONVENTIONS:
The Revolution was a cruelty to the Romanov family. They were all assassinated at the hands of the revolutionaries.
MPJ
Meredith’s work, prestige skyrockets in the business.
JAJ
Jerome leaves broken, a broken man, no win, no glory for him.
DEEPER LAYER
Jerome knows he did very wrong.
GENRE CONVENTIONS:
The pearl necklace that was Olga’s is the focus of the movie’s ending. The jewels of the Romanovs, I believe, were not recovered for a long time.
RESOLUTION:
MPJ
Meredith’s won an Oscar. her career is taking off. She’s out to find new work. The old flame makes a partnership deal with her they both are happy about. The actor who played Nicholas in the movie has a proposition for her. He wants her to write his next great part. She accepts and she is asked out to dinner by him.
JAJ
Jerome’s life has fallen apart. His leading lady actress leaves him for greener pastures. His work goes down the tubes. He is now a broken man.
DEEPER LAYER
He is remorseful and wishing he hadn’t treated Meredith the way he did. His jealousy also has gotten the better of him. He finds they are not so forgiving either.
GENRE CONVENTIONS:
Because Olga loved Dmitri II too deeply, and he is a cad, he’s ruined her reputation. She is remorseful that she fell in love. She wants Dmitri I back.
But before that, she and her family are captured by the Bolsheviks. They are held hostage for a short time and finally murdered.
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Dave Holloway’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
My vision: I would like to be a successful writer in Hollywood, with a number of successful movies to my credit that put forward a core belief about environmental, political, or personal development.
What I learned doing this assignment is that putting the basic elements of a screenplay’s structure together like this allows me to ensure they’ll all be included in the screenplay.
Act 1
Opening: Nigel is shown in court, arguing to convince the court that a mother should be allowed to remain with her two children, though she has had some personal difficulties.
Antag. journey: The warden of the Shiloh prison, Luther Trask, reads the articles about Shiloh written by Livia Williamson, Nigel’s wife. They depict the brutal conditions in the state and Trask, realizing they could be damaging, order’s Livia’s arrest and imprisonment.
Inciting Incident: Nigel engages in a SKYPE communication with Livia, his wife, in which she tells him that the military state she is in is very hostile to journalists. During the call, men enter her room and take her away to a military prison.
Turning Point: Nigel meets with government officials and even appears on a British talk show, trying to stir action that will lead to his wife’s release. He finally realizes he must go to Shiloh, the military state, to try to obtain her freedom in person.
Act 2
New Plan: Nigel discloses to his friend, Roger that he will fly to the military state to try to rescue Livia. Roger volunteers to go and Nigel accepts.
Deeper Layer: As they drink in a pub, Nigel recounts to him the story of the incident when, at 12, a boy in school punched him in the face and he ran away, though he doesn’t reveal how the incidents haunts him.
Plan in Action: As they are flying to Los Angeles, the pilot informs the passengers that the independent states along the east coast of North America have declared their air space closed to foreign aircraft, and thus the plane must land in New York and go no further.
Antagonist’s journey: Trask becomes aware that Nigel and his friend are coming to rescue Livia. He orders an agent to place a tracking device on Nigel, so he will be aware of where he is at all times.
Act 2:
They take a bus across Empire, the first state, and a taxi across Elysium, the next state.
Midpoint: They’re caught up in a gun battle in the Native-American state, and Nigel is shot by a bullet that goes through his forearm. By being shot, and surviving, he gains more confidence in his ability to take part in and survive physical action in general.
Deeper Layer: the incident cheers Nigel, who has been shot in a gun battle and survived without losing his nerve. He remarks humorously to Roger that he’d never known getting shot was so easy.
Rethink everything: Nigel gets a communication from Livia, informing him that she might not have many days left to live, because the military state will execute her.
In the next state, El Dorado, they’re taken prisoner. The tracking device on Nigel that the agent from the military state planted is discovered and revealed to him. As they’re being escorted from their cell to the showers, Roger punches the police guard and Nigel knocks him down. Roger then chokes the man into unconsciousness, and they escape along with Amelia, stealing a helicopter and flying out of the state.
Deeper Layer: Nigel’s tackle of the police guard shows his increasing competence in action and violence in the pursuit of freeing Livia.
Turning Point: Huge failure/major shift
Act 3: When they reach the military state, Nigel sees it is so dominated and controlled by military force that he can no longer abstain from violence as a mean to free Livia. Every action is now on the table.
Antagonist’s journey: Aware that Nigel is drawing close to Livia,, Trask orders Livia’s execution to take place in three days and does everything he can to capture and/or kill Nigel.
Turning Point 3: Nigel learns that Livia’s execution will take place in three days.
Act 4
Climax/ultimate expression of the conflict
Resolution
They elude capture, travel to the capital of the military state and form a plan to free her. Nigel must risk his life and kill the sadistic warden. He does so, and they free Livia from her cell, and escape the military state in the plane of a man who is part of an underground movement of resistance to Shiloh, flying people out of the state when their anti-government activity means they will be put to death if they are captured.
Deeper Layer: Nigel’s actions wipe out the incident at 12 from his mind.
Resolution: As they fly home, Nigel has changed irrevocably, becoming more comfortable with action and adventure.
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Bice-Stephens Beat Sheet-Draft 1
2022 is my year to break through!
What I learned-Every component fits together like a puzzle.
Baby Dearest Outline
Log line-How do you let go of something you’ve never had?
Concept-A deranged young woman kidnaps her way to motherhood to manipulate the ex who rejected her.
Surface Layer-Brandy and Alex are desperate to have their own families—Brandy because she lost hers and Alex because he never believed he had a real one.
Deeper Layer-Brandy and Alex are total opposites with the same goal.
Opening-Brandy wants a husband and baby. She is angry to the point of madness–takes a knife and slashes smiles off the pictures of couples she taped on her walls. Writes madly all night.
Beginning-Alex crosses paths with Brandy, a person he barely remembers. She gives him her number, wants him to call her.
Beginning-Brandy is very excited to see a former upperclassman, Alex, whom everyone admired and she had a massive crush on.
New Plan-The stalking begins.
Inciting Incident- Alex breaks up with his girlfriend, goes out for a good time, has a one-night stand with Brandy.
Inciting Incident-Brandy can’t believe she actually has the most popular guy in school in her bed!
Inciting Incident-Brandy takes pictures of Alex while he’s sleeping nude.
Turning Point 1- Alex gets back with his girlfriend when they find out she’s pregnant. Blocks all contact with Brandy.
Turning Point 1-Brandy is furious when Alex blocks her from his life. She can’t cope with it.
Turning Point 1-Brandy refuses to let Alex ditch her for another woman, at any cost.
Act 2- Alex starts building a great life with his girlfriend. They plan their wedding.
Act 2-Brandy starts plotting revenge because Alex dumped her.
Act 2-New Plan-Brandy connives a way to replace Alex’s girlfriend. She may need to get rid of her completely.
Turning Point 2/Midpoint- Alex learns Brandy just had a baby boy and told his BFF he’s the only possible father. When his girlfriend accidently discovers this, she leaves with their new baby girl.
Turning Point 2/Midpoint-Brandy has been faking a pregnancy and kidnaps a baby to fulfill her fantasy.
Turning Point 2/Midpoint-The kidnapped infant is a girl, Brandy disguises her as a boy. Reads news about kidnapping and reward, no conscience.
Act 3-Alex goes to Brandy’s to visit his son like a dutiful father, but he keeps passing out there and doesn’t know why. Brandy keeps trying to seduce him, but he rejects her over and over.
Act 3-Brandy tries desperately to manipulate Alex into being with her and her baby son. He wants only his real girlfriend and baby daughter, which infuriates Brandy. She drugs him and plots his death. If she can’t have him, no one else can either.
Act 3-Rethink everything-Brandy is totally, batshit crazy. There’s no way to know what she will do next. “Til death us do part” on steroids.
New Plan-Results to drugs to control Alex, sedation to overdose. Whatever it takes so another woman doesn’t get to have him.
Turning Point 3-Alex goes with Brandy to take Jack to the ER when he gets very sick.
Turning Point 3-Brandy dumps Alex and the baby at the ER, leaving Alex and the authorities to find out his baby boy is actually a kidnapped infant girl.
Turning Point-Brandy acts totally sane and innocent, but realizes she has to disappear fast.
Act 4/Climax-Alex is arrested for kidnapping and breaking into Brandy’s apartment.
Act 4/Climax-Brandy lies her way out of everything, makes Alex take the fall.
Act 4-Climax- Brandy destroys evidence of any crime, including the kidnapping headlines which she burns in the sink.
Resolution-Alex sits helplessly in jail. An unknown lady lawyer comes to help him. It’s his biological mother. She was forced to give him up when she was a young clerk and became pregnant by a powerful judge, Alex’s biological and now deceased adoptive father.
Resolution-B gets on a plane and starts flirting with the guy seated next to her. She has met her next victim.
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Alan’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
My Vision:
I do whatever it takes for me to be a true wordsmith that spins wildly original and entertaining screenplays that are passionately sought out by top industry professionals who turn them into critically and publicly acclaimed major motion pictures distributed by the top studios in Hollywood, all while writing from wherever I may be leisurely traveling the world at the moment.
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What I learned: This has been a great and eye opening experience! Can’t wait to continue.
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Title: Ninja Burgers
Genre: Action/Comedy
Concept: A down on his luck, nineteen-year-old fast food employee finds a high tech bracelet that turns him into the world’s deadliest super soldier.
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WORKING OUTLINE
Main Conflict: Tiberius has a high tech bracelet fused to his wrist that makes him a super soldier, the bad guys who stole it want it back and will kill him and anyone else who gets in their way to get it.
Key:
PJ = Protagonist Journey
AJ = Antagonist Journey
Before Story Starts:
AJ 1: Crypto is a brilliant engineer who designs weapons systems for various governments.
AJ 2: He is approached by Name Corp (the secretly evil organization recruiting great minds in their bid to eventually take over the world) and quickly rises through the ranks to become senior management and in charge of the tech acquisitions branch.
AJ 3: He finds out what his real job is and realizes he is trapped and must project strength and ruthlessness or face death.
Genre: Action/Comedy
Act 1 – Tiberius Finds Something Shiny in the Trash – [The Orphan]
Opening:
PJ 1: Tiberius late for work. Open in action as we see him riding his bike to work…poorly. He can’t do jumps, falls off the bike, is chased by dogs and is hit by a bus. He’s bullied by his boss, displays a lack of confidence at every turn, and shows that he’s a weak “yes, man” to all those around him. Depressed, but has a good heart and is kind to a homeless man that lives behind the restaurant. He mentions to his best friend his life goal is to either open his own restaurant or to be a ninja. His friend reminds him that he will never be a ninja and that it would be cultural appropriation anyway.
AJ 4: An evil henchman visits the restaurant. Tiberius offers to take his tray with the trash on it. Henchman agrees but forgets that the case containing the bracelet is on the tray.
Deeper Layer: the evil henchman Shadow is the man Tiberius will ultimately kill in the final confrontation. Shadow will be wearing a bracelet as a High Tower Surprise for Tiberius and he will have to overcome that.
Inciting Incident:
PJ 2: After taking out the garbage, the bag tears on the old dumpster and all of its contents spill out to the ground. He spies amongst the refuse a small case. He finds an awesome looking metallic bracelet inside. He slips the bracelet on and it painfully fuses to his wrist.
Deeper Layer: The bracelet is a piece of future high tech that turns him into a super soldier.
Deeper Layer Hint: On the bike ride home mysterious abilities show up. He can make the jump he missed on the way to work. He avoids the bus with some true BMX style riding. He does a bunny hop over a car that almost hits him. And he flat out outruns a dog chasing him. When he gets home he’s both shocked and completely gassed. Although he has new skills, he’s still woefully out of shape. He pukes on his front lawn.
AJ 5: With his job/life on the line, his henchman loses the high tech super soldier bracelet he promised to the Name Corp executive board.
Turning Point:
PJ 6: The ‘good guys’ track him down and explain what he has on his wrist and make him an offer he can’t refuse, join their experimental team of human test subjects, or they can amputate his arm and take the bracelet.
Deeper Layer Reveal: Addison Grant shows up and makes the offer to Tiberius to join the test subject group or lose his arm.
Deeper Layer: Addison Grant wants out of her terrible life and will do anything to achieve this dream. She will provide the future tech bracelet to the bad guys in order for a huge payment and a new identity.
Deeper Layer Hint: Addison is incredibly unhappy that Tiberius has the bracelet. Not excited at all that he managed to retrieve the missing item.
Act II – Tiberius: The Fish Out of Water – [The Wanderer]
New Plan:
PJ 7: Tiberius decides to become a human test subject and keep his arm. The plan is to find out what is really going on with this bracelet, and survive the experiments. He is given the code name Custer.
Plan in Action:
PJ 8: Tiberius is a true fish out of water amongst the perfect human specimens who have volunteered to become super soldiers. He is unable to keep up…the old ways on display again. All kinds of super soldier training set pieces here. Tiberius hooks up with Super Soldier test subject Washington. Yes, they have super sex.
Deeper Layer: Tiberius only misses out on getting killed because he was zonked out after sex with Washington.
AJ 6: (Not Seen) After finding the bracelet he agrees to bring “Good Guy Leader” into the group, to disappear him to Japan so he can retire comfortably if she will wipe out the group of test subjects and bring him the prototype bracelets.
Midpoint Turning Point:
PJ 9: A critical mission is announced. After the class leader is selected for the mission the entire team is wiped out by Crypto’s henchmen in a massive explosion. Tiberius is able to escape thanks to some new skills but just barely.
Deeper Layer: Addison, after making a new deal with Crypto facilitates Shadow’s infiltration and sabotage of the test subjects.
Deeper Layer Hint: Shadow knows the code to enter the facility. Addison sends the group into the location that gets them all killed.
Act III – Tiberius Grows a Pair – [The Warrior]
Rethink Everything:
PJ 10: After the shock of losing the team he had begun to bond with, Tiberius realizes the old ways won’t work anymore. The leader of the ‘good guys’ meets up with him. Tiberius vows to avenge his class of fallen super soldiers and wipe out Crypto and his organization..
Deeper Layer: Tiberius doesn’t know Addison is working for the bad guys…neither does the audience.
Deeper Layer Hint: Addison discourages Tiberius from going on his mission of revenge.
New Plan:
PJ 11: Tiberius tries to infiltrate and destroy Crypto’s evil headquarters. He should use his closest friend in some way to help him. This needs to be set up in Act I. Build in stealth type set pieces here. Also, make him have to perform some task that was a major challenge/failure for him during the training process.
Turning Point:
PJ 12 – AJ 7: Huge failure / Major shift: Tiberius is captured and set for execution. Along with his best friend, maybe? Crypto will have his super soldier bracelet and be able to create his army.
Deeper Layer Reveal: And… the ‘good guy’ leader Addison stands at Crypto’s side and was behind the death of the entire team! Tiberius just survived by dumb luck. It turns out that ‘good guy’ Addison was the supplier of the tech to the henchman Shadow who then lost the bracelet at the fast food restaurant!
Act IV – Tiberius Burns Down the House – [The Martyr]
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:
PJ 13: Tiberius embraces the new way. He finds a way to defeat Crypto’s henchman Shadow and save his buddy. He kills ‘good guy’, recovers the prototypes (one by hacking off Shadow’s hand) and…
PJ 14 – AJ 8: Crypto asks Tiberius to give something sentimental to his wife as he awaits death. He doesn’t want to be saved, just to make sure his wife will be taken care of. Tiberius spares him and together they fake his death so he can get out of his miserable life.
AJ 9: …sends Crypto to an apparent fiery death in front of the Executive Board and then destroys the evil lair in the process.
Resolution:
PJ 15: Tiberius, new ways on display, turns down a chance to be a permanent super soldier, opens his own fast food restaurant and calls it: Ninja Burgers (even though his best friend keeps reminding him that he never was or can be a ninja.)
AJ 10: Crypto and his wife open a bar on a tropical island. Receives a postcard (or modern equivalent) from Tiberius warning he’ll be keeping an eye on him.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Alan Wood.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by
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Module 4: Lesson #3
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are still elements of Act 3 I am still figuring out to make this story plausible.
Act 1: Freya’s search for her life’s purpose sends her fleeing home to an uninhabited island.
Surface Layer: Freya is troubled by her platonic marriage.
Deeper Layer: Freya escapes to give herself time to think… What’s her purpose? Is her husband her soulmate?
Freya PJ1: Still reeling from a miscarriage and her failure to commit to her husband/marriage, Freya fights with her husband. Falls back to the old pattern of work to fill her void.
Inciting Incident: Husband gives her an ultimatum, commit to relationship or he’ll leave her.
Freya PJ2: Freya
Freya PJ3: Freya meets boss to pitch for a more fulfilling story, but is refused.
Noah AJ1: While in town, Noah sees a picture of Freya on TV, she’s wearing the one of a kind amulet that once belonged to Lisbeth. He also overhears “treasure hunters” discussing the presence of fortune hidden on the island he is protecting.
Noah AJ2: Noah sends an old travel brochure to Freya’s address.
Deeper Layer: Noah recognizes Freya as the reincarnation of his past love, Lisbeth and hopes to draw her to the island to be sure.
Freya PJ4: Freya gets an opportunity to write a series of travel articles/blogs about an uninhabited island (once a famous tourism site until the death of Lisbeth, 30 years prior but Freya does not know this yet.)
Freya PJ5: Freya tells her husband she’s leaving for a career. Her husband gives her one week to return, or he leaves.
Hints: Freya has dreams of drowning and we believe this is due to a childhood fear of water… but in fact, they are dreams of how she died in her past life.
Turning Point 1: Freya learns about the legend of the island, she has an unexplainable drive to solve their mystery. But she’s not alone, Noah watches her disembark from the shadows.
Act 2: Freya dives into her assignment, but digs deeper into exploring the cold case.
Noah AJ3: Noah spies/stalks Freya. Tries to scare her off the island before she learns the truth > who she is and the truth about the murder
Freya PJ6: As Freya stumbles about adjusting to being alone/non-city life, a series of events (created by Noah) occur and she begins to question her reality.
Deeper Layer: Freya has nightly dreams that continue to build clues to the truth > she is the reincarnation of Lisbeth.
Freya PJ7: Freya discovers the deserted home that once belonged to Lisbeth and Lars. She breaks in.
Noah AJ 4: Noah stalks Freya as she explores the house.
HInts: When Noah is alone, and we see the world from his perspective, his surroundings are what they once were (30 years ago), but Freya sees them as they are now – dusty, unkempt with furniture covered in sheets.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Freya learns the truth about Lisbeth’s death, she uncovers the stories Noah has been collecting. Noah confronts Freya in the house, lies to her about who he is.
Noah AJ 5: Noah tells her to leave the island.
Act 3: Freya digs in. But a deadly storm is headed their way and she can’t leave.
Freya PJ8: Freya begins piecing together why Lisbeth was murdered and by who.
Noah AJ6: Reveals who she is – Lisbeth.
Discovery: As Freya gains his trust, he shares the details of Lisbeth’s death. These details match what Freya has been dreaming. Freya shares her dreams with Noah, they match what she has learned about Lisbeth’s death.
Freya PJ 9: Befriends Noah, uses him for info. There is an unexplainable soul connection between them.
Noah AJ7: Forces Freya to delete her notes, he doesn’t want her to complete the story because then he would leave her >> she is his love from the past.
Freya PJ10: Afraid for her life, Freya tries to escape. She’s hit from behind.
Turning Point 3: Freya wakes up tied to her bed as the waters rise from the impending storm outside her door. Her story, and semblance of a shot of a story that could launch her career, is shattered.
Deeper Layer: Because he is a soul, Noah knows Freya is the reincarnation of Lisbeth… but it is unclear how much she remembers. He tries to deter her from looking within and remembering the truth… in case her memory will implicate him.
Act 4: A deadly storm is approaching the island, no one is able to come rescue Freya. She has to use a different tact, convincing Noah to help her escape.
Freya PJ 11: Freya convinces Noah that Lisbeth loved him, and so does she. Attempts to win him over. Uses investigative skills to learn more about the real story of why Lisbeth was killed.
Reveal/discovery: (Lisbeth’s husband hired killers, and framed Noah/Caretaker for the murder so that he could claim ownership to the family fortune and money buried in the basement of the family home).
4th Act Climax: Lisbeth & Noah set out for the mainland together. Noah realizes Freya knows the truth about the murders. He tries to kill her but they both go overboard.
Noah AJ8: As a spirit, Noah crosses over fulfilling his purpose to help Freya find the will to live.
Resolution: Freya fights to survive, clinging to the boat. She has found her purpose > to tell the story about Lisbeth and reveal the bigger truth, that the media mogul that died at the beginning of the story was laundering money, hiding it on the island to evade the IRS. She fights to get her husband back. Discovers Noah was never alive in the first place.
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Erin Ziccarelli’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1
Vision: I am going to create meaningful scripts that leave audiences remembering my movies and leave me excited to keep writing and moving up in the industry.
What I learned from doing this assignment is: the importance of both a protagonist and antagonist’s journey.
Starting with your 4-Act Structure, add the following components into your story to create the first draft of your Beat Sheet.
4-Act Structure
Act I: Alex in prison then rehab, released
Beginning: 1970’s, Operation Dunbar,
Alex arrested, 1990’s, Alex in prison
Inciting Incident: Nathanial Caden’s
death, leaving his money to Alex
Turning point: Alex leaves rehab with
a fresh start and the means to pursue the businessAct II: Alex starting the business, meeting Scarlett
Character’s normal response: Alex “on
his own” for the first time, trying to build a support structure
Midpoint: Alex’s uncle dies, naming
him as the new head of the familyAct III: Alex growing the business, Scarlett turns on him, he goes back to his old way of life/old friends
· Character rethinks their journey: the business falls apart and Alex goes back to what is comfortable – his old life in the South End
· Character makes a real change to solve things: Alex takes charge of the next counterfeiting operation
· Turning point before the biggest conflict: Alex tells Roger to leave, returns to the South End
Act IV: Alex rejects the old ways and makes peace with Scarlett
· Climax: showdown between the Brennans and the Donovans
· Resolution: Alex and Scarlett at peace
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This is for module six. I went to post before and the manuscript had not pasted. So frustrating. Module 6, lesson 3:
My vision is to become a stronger writer.
Karen Crider is cliché busting. I see a need for more focus, more tightening, a closer walk with structure. I did this initially, but it still waddles on the perimeter, not quite knowing which way to land. I love a challenge. kc.
What I learned: That I had to redo my outline on count of structure. Again. So, finding cliches seems like a piece of cake after this structure thing. Most of my work reflects Africa and the survival of the fittest, but metaphorically parallels the human world where dog eats dog. I have no horse heads in the bed, but I have creatures who live in a land where one mistake can cost them their lives. I love the horse head scene. What a way to portray evil!
I absolutely love discovering cliches and making the scenes unique.
One scene:
INT. COMMUNAL DEN – DAY
At dawn, the African forest edges are alive with hoots and howls, receding to a hum. An intrepid hyena, rugged and powerful, invades the communal den. Shadow glimpses him.
SHADOW
(to Ivy)
Who Is he? Is he my father?
IVY
No, your father’s dead… a lion kill.
SHADOW
Then, who is he?
IVY
He’s Silla’s (the matriarch of the clan’s,) father.
SHADOW
She has a father? What’s his name?
IVY
Everyone has a father, Shadow.
They call him Mac– short for Macmillan.
He’s been ousted.
SHADOW
She done that to her own father?
IVY
Power corrupts.
SHADOW
What does that mean?
IVY
Power changes them, and no one stops them
from wrong doing, because they can die.
***Reminds me of the Lion King somewhat. Simba wanted to know his father as well. I choose to insert that part somewhere else. (After all. In the spotted clan, the females choose their partners and the offspring don’t know who their fathers are.) The mother raises the cubs alone. (Two other clan exist; both are run by males). Shadow clan is a matriarch. He has no fatherly guidance, which of course, affects his choices. Shadow nips Silla’s offspring, Hilly– something he does out of a defense mechanism to protect his mom. Something which leads Shadow to being ousted.
Hyena’s hunt at night, rouse a little at dawn, but sleep all day. The purpose of the scene is to lend background/insight/info into character/ motivation and makeup, not only Shadow’s, but Silla’s as well.
A new rewrite.
INT. COMMUNAL DEN – NIGHT—REWRITE.
At dusk, inside their perimeters, the hyenas avoid an intrusion by another hyena. One looking for a fight.
SHADOW
(whispers to Ivy)
Who is he, and why are they afraid?
IVY
He’s Silla’s father. She put him out of the clan years ago.
SHADOW
She done that to her own father? Why?
IVY
She’s the matriarch; power corrupts.
**The above scene is more concise. It gives a realistic character sketch of Silla. She’s ruthless. So, it defines her character and introduces Mac to Shadow, who down the road saves his life. It’s a way to introduce a powerful threat naturally without casting a breath from another movie. But, it still needs work. A little subtext please…
(Bains has two names because Silla has cub-napped her at birth when Mortimer, (the rabid wolf, has raked her from her shallow den.) In the interim, Mortimer’s attacked by a hyena. Silla arrives on scene on her way home from a kill, and finds Surus toddling toward her during the fray. She takes her and raises her as her offspring, which creates another set of problems; thus, her stage name is: Bains/Surus. All this centers around the three- day, Olympic Hyena Howling Contest. The first day being the first act. The second day being the second act and the third day being the third act, interspersed with other events.
EXT. WATERHOLE – DAY
Bains/Surus paces back and forth, wearing a path to the communal den. She passes through the main tunnel, searching for Silla. She finds her dozing. Bains/Surus startles Silla. She jerks awake.
BAINS/ SURUS
I need to ask you something.
Bains/Surus glances nervously back and forth Her eyes averting Silla’s gaze.
Silla yawns and stretches.
SILLA
What now? Is this about your training? It takes time
to learn all you need to know. Have patience.
BAINS/ SURUS
No… not that…
SILLA
Then, what?
Silla rises on her haunches staring intently at her.
BAINS/SURUS
(blurts)
I don’t know how to say this without sounding crazy.
She takes a deep breath, pauses, and stares at the ground.
BAINS/ SURUS
Are you my real mom? I mean, have I been taken at birth?
Bains/Surus watches Silla for her reaction.
SILLA
For h-heaven’s sake! Where’s this come f-from? Is Hilly teasing you?
Silla’s voice breaks.
BAINS/ SURUS
No, though, I do think my sister’s a little jealous.
Baines/Surus watches Silla’s every move.
***This is a clunky scene, parallel to a lot of scenes that needs a re-write, similar to movies where a main character has to face her sins. Of course, she denies it. But when Hilly, her sister, talks her into training the females, she encounters Ivy, her real mother. She recognizes her by the heart-shape spot on her right shoulder, her features, and her piercing howl similar to her brother, Shadow. I have marked this scene and plan to re-do it. It can be a strong scene if done right, as is true of most scenes.
INT. THE WOODS – DAY
Shadow practices his singing scales for the competition,
jarring others awake.
Two buzzards circle and swoop down near him.
MILTON BUZZARD
(yawping)
You see anything?
HIRAM BUZZARD
No, but wherever that sound is, it’s either dying or in extreme pain.
The buzzards land on a bough.
They croak a buzzard-belly laugh.
SHADOW
(sarcastic)
Very funny. All right you goons, has the skunk sent you?
HIRAM BUZZARD
(to Milton)
What skunk? Have you seen a skunk?
MILTON BUZZARD
No, only a hybrid that howls and stinks at the same time,
Quite a feat, huh Hiram?
HIRAM BUZZARD
(to Shadow)
That’s why we make it a point to observe strange phenomenon.
SHADOW
Name calling’s not necessary. You’ve had your fun. Get lost!
MILTON BUZZARD
No, we’re waiting for that lion approaching.
We may get leftovers yet.
Shadow scoots for his den. Their buzzard’s mimic laughter.
SHADOW
Next time, I’m eating you both!
He dives into his den, stressed.
**Humor haunts most scripts. I want it to come alive and lend more interest techniques. More work.
INT. FOREST EDGES – DAY
Shadow ambles to the forest edges to practice. STUBBS, a short, squat hyena, attacks Shadow, whose high soprano howl is kin to fingernails scratching on a chalk board. Stubbs tips him upside down, shaking him, doing his best to shut Shadow up.
STUBBS
You have half the forest plotting to kill you, you know that?
SHADOW
Lemme’ go! All great artists suffer for their art.
STUBBS
That’s true, but why make everyone else suffer?
SHADOW
You’re just jealous!
STUBBS
You wish! Tune it down, or you and your pipes will not make it through the night.
Stubbs chortles as he leaves.
SHADOW
(grumbles)
How’s a hyena to win a competition, if no one lets him practice?
***This scene below, I’m throwing in just for the fun of it. It doesn’t remind me of any script, just the humor of a writer who loves words: But it does have purpose: It provides background to the rest of the script. It squats close to the beginning…
EXT. MEADOW – NIGHT
A distance away, the Clan Howler announces the State of the Union Clan Meeting. The members gather at the den where the elders officiate.
His unruly mane sprigs out gray and unruly. His voice sounds corroded.
SENIOR ELDER
Come to order. Let’s begin with old business read by the Clan Secretary.
CLAN SECRETARY
Last meeting, we voted on rules for ousting, illegal border
crossings, homelessness and illegal aliens.
SENIOR ELDER
Were we able to get a consensus?
CLAN SECRETARY
Yes, except on homelessness. The den sites they’ve neglected are now condemned.
SENIOR ELDER
They can reside in the communal den. That’s what they’re for.
SECRETARY
They refuse to assimilate.
SENIOR ELDER
Housing is available. If they choose not to use it, that’s on them.
CLAN SECRETARY
All who agree indigents must live in the communal den, give a howl.
Howls rise to a crescendo. The referendum passes.
SENIOR ELDER
We need a motion to close old business.
SILLA
I motion old business is now closed.
SENIOR ELDER
Clan Secretary, any new business?
CLAN SECRETARY
The forest rangers are back. We have another rabies outbreak.
Beware of rangers and rabid critters.
SENIOR ELDER
That doesn’t pertain to hyenas. We are largely immune
to such diseases. Anything else we need to note?
CLAN SECRETARY
No. Who wants to motion we adjourn?
HILLY
I motion we adjourn this meeting.
CLAN SECRETARY
So recorded.
SENIOR ELDER
Any seconds?
SILLA
I second the motion.
SENIOR ELDER
This meeting is adjourned.
The sharp recoil of howls and grunts accent the air. Lunch consists of raw fish and hare giblets.
The nightly hunt occurs much later than usual.
**I included this scene to give structure/insight how hyenas are immune to rabies/infections that wipe out lions and other species–lending fact with fiction, humor with personification. I also wanted to lend imagination to a fun insight into their lives metaphorically similar to humans. . Every script has its challenges. So does every character. I don’t know if this scene is parallel to other scenes in other scripts. I just know without the human element; it takes the identification with it—the empathy. I realize every script needs that. So, I tap the keys; trying to learn a few things as I go. I follow my characters, waiting for them to find the essence that makes a screenplay worthy of a read, and hopefully worthy of my time…Thanks, KC
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