Day 3: What I learned rewriting my scene/character…?

[Sandeep Gupta]

(not there yet, the concept I labeled “negative red herring” is absolutely next level subterfuge i never thought of and i hope i can weave it in now…)

[Deb Johnson]

Turning Point

What I learned:

I looked at the turning point for my protagonist at the end of Act 1 and at the end of Act 2 and tried to elevate those scenes by making sure the event was part of the character’s journey, that it changed her life in some way (forever) and required her to up her game.

I’m not exactly thrilled with what I came up with. But I’m glad I did the assignment, and I can always circle back and do some more brainstorming to make these turning points stronger.

[Paul McGregor]

Assignment Week 3 – Day 3

What makes this character great from a writing perspective is, I’m afraid to say, not much. Taking this as a stand-alone scene, the character is a total victim, not a protagonist. (Of course, that is not to say it isn’t a gripping scene.)

However, it did provide a breakthrough. Neo’s change is radical and visible. I will scale-up my Protagonist’s Turning Point to reach a similar extreme and make my Protagonist’s Turning Point as radical as Neo’s experience.

What this scene does is provide a metaphor for how my Protagonist must change: totally! On the news of her daughter’s death, she goes from being a protective mum, absorbed in getting her daughter out of poverty in Mexico, to being a vengeful warrior, who will not rest until the privileged son of a US Senator (and hawk in the drug war), pays the price for killing her daughter with cocaine.

I will re-write those scenes so that her transformation is more radical, and so that we see her change physically as well as emotionally.

I will make the new Turning Point as frightening for her as for the other unfortunates she encounters.

END

[Sandeep Gupta]

terrific log line hiding in there Paul. amazing story!

[Paul McGregor]

Thanks, Sandeep, for that encouraging comment. What’s more, it’s based on real events. Good luck to you with your script!

[Sandeep Gupta]

thanks Paul. i hope she wins, and so do you with this story!

[Lawrence Fraly]

Week 3 Day3 Turning Point THE MATRIX

FIRST WATCH

Part of character’s journey looking for the truth, he takes the red pull and returns to reality

Changes the character’s life forever He’s been pumped with all kinds of gizmos attached to him that seem to be pumping an ionized liquid through him, imagery not entirely unlike the movie 2001 when Hal locks the human from the space craft.

Requires him to up his game NOW: Can’t tell what his game is or how he has to up it. This scene appears only to be his transformation from human to something not.

SECOND WATCH

Engaging: He chooses to give up his present life to find the truth, and he’s subjected to strange sci fi gizmos that seem to impact his physical being, but it’s the visuals that are striking to me, the character being merely a prop to get some cool CGI on the screen

Expressing their profile Neo doesn’t seem to have any emotion, except apprehension. He goes through this gooey transformation without any resistance or emotion.

Character depth: A mystery of what he’s going through, and where he’ll wind up. His surface appears like it’s going to be changed. Depth? What is coming to the surface that wasn’t there before?

Interesting character from writer’s p.o.v. Once you see that Neo’s willing to subject himself to anything in order to learn the truth, the writer can challenge and change him in just about any way the writer wants to, including giving him new traits, and/or bringing subtext to the surface. Neo can go through incredible obstacles that test of his will. You can give him superpowers. You can take him on a journey to a wise being at the center of Hell or as high as the highest peak in existence. You define the “truth” any way you want to. Neo is about as malleable as any character can be.

Breakthrough from other writers: To get anything more out of this scene, I have to see other scenes for context.

Breakthrough for my writing: Back to my script TRIGGER EFFECT, I could invent any truth for which Sadie searches. Any truth could be valid, so long as I create the metaverse believable to the audience. I can give Sadie a secret that she doesn’t know she has until she finds it.