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Day 4 Assignment
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Jean’s Finished Act 3
What I learned doing this assignment is that high-speed writing gets easier with use. Giving myself the freedom to work this way feels empowering. I know my work isn’t perfect, but it gives me a starting point. Plus, there are a bunch of gems in among the stuff that needs improving. I find that a positive thing. Again, there were a couple of scenes that I skipped over and went back to after I completed the act. Doing that help to keep my momentum going. I finished this act in record time.
Rule 1: Use empowering self-talk. Cheer
yourself on. A. Consistently use.Rule 2: Understand writing in drafts.
A. Consistently use.
Rule 3: Choose speed over quality for EARLY
drafts. B. Some use.Rule 4: Allow yourself to start (or continue)
without all the answers. A. Consistently use.Rule 5: Keep moving. Don’t allow yourself to
ever stall out. A. Consistently use.Rule 6: Even if you can’t create it now, you
will be able to at some point in the future! A. Consistently use. -
i Learned that speed writing really works. I also learned that writing to that open loop at the end of the act is helpful
ACT THREE
EXT. BAER BUNGALOW – DAY
Marta scurries up the steps and slips inside.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Marta changes into a thin robe. Stashes her bag of makeup under the sink. Holds her temples trying to contain the pain. Gags, spits into the toilet. Downs a Relpax.
Looks at herself in the mirror.
MARTA
You’re pathetic.
Downstairs sound of front door CLOSING. She freezes. Who could that be? Paige is at school and Lane is at the interview.
INT. BEDROOM
She grabs the telephone. Dead. She walks in a confused circle. Stops. (Beat)
Frantically searches Lane’s night table, then hers. Nothing.
MARTA
Where is it?
INT. CLOSET
She searches bags and duffles.
FOOTSTEPS on the stairs.
BACK IN THE BEDROOM
Looks around. Falls to her knees, lifts the bed skirt.
FOOTSTEPS COMING CLOSER.
There it is. Under the bed. A small canvas bag.
THE DOOR HANDLE TURNS
She tugs the bag out from under the bed, opens to expose a revolver and a small cardboard box containing three bullets.
The door opens. Paige looks puzzled.
PAIGE
What are you doing on the floor?
Marta quickly pushes the bag back under the bed and holds the gun behind her back.
MARTA
Why aren’t you at school?
PAIGE
Did you forget? Counseling day. Can you tell I’ve been counseled? Ask me anything. Why am I here? What is my purpose?
She tosses her hair over her shoulder.
PAIGE (CONT’D)
And you are on the floor because?
Marta rises.
MARTA
I was…I…I dropped my pill. I was looking for it.
Marta sits on the bed, slips the gun under the unmade covers.
MARTA (CONT’D)
I’m going to rest. I’ll go back to the bank after lunch. I’d appreciate it if you keep the volume of your music down.
Paige’s sullenly stares at her mother. Marta looks back until Paige closes the door.
EXT. 1992 VOLVO WAGON – DAY
Baer drives back to their house listening to some up-beat music. He drums out the beat on the steering wheel. Sings a line of a lyric here and there.
Makes a hard left into the driveway, hits the remote, the door rises and in he goes.
INT. BUNGALOW LIVING ROOM
Baer tosses his keys on a table. Goes to a bookshelf.
BAER
Bovary…Bovary…where are you?
He hears MUSIC. He takes the stairs two at a time.
PAIGE’S ROOM
He gently KNOCKS. No answer. Peeks in.
The room has been hit by a small tornado. Paige sleeps on the bed, clutching her teddy bear and flushed in innocence, despite the highly sexual Calvin Klein posters on the walls. He tucks a blanket around her shoulders.
BEDROOM
The shades are drawn. Marta lies on the bed. Gently he sits down next to her.
MARTA
When did you get home?
Silence. On the side table there’s a stack of books. Madame Bovary sits on the top of the pile on which perches a small framed Photograph. Baer picks up the photo to retrieve the book.
Marta takes the picture from him. It’s a photo of her wearing her cap and gown and Masters regalia. She runs a finger over the gown.
Baer thumbs through Bovary.
MARTA (CONT’D)
It was the day we found out I was pregnant.
She puts the photo back face down on the table and sits up. Pulls her hair away from her face.
MARTA (CONT’D)
What? Two weeks later. The call.
She sits up a little higher.
MARTA (CONT’D)
From the The New Yorker. The offer. The job I would kill for.
BAER
Will you ever forgive me?
MARTA
I said we’ll have the baby. The three of us will move to New York. As a writer, that’s where you should be anyway. But no. Lane Baer refused to live in the east. You said the weather’s hard. The people are hard. I don’t want my child to grow up in a hard place.
Marta pulls the covers up.
MARTA (CONT’D)
For months I tried to convince you to move to New York. But you. You had to stay in California. When I felt that first kick of life, I gave up. Simply gave up.
BAER
No, that’s not exactly–
MARTA
Yes, exactly. City Hall. Holding hands. God, that minister or whatever he was. Dead white skin and swimmy eyes.
Baer stands, paces. She watches him.
BAER
We need to stop picking at each other.
MARTA
I thought you had an appointment.
Her fingers press her temples.
BAER
I did. I do.
He reaches over and rights the photo.
BAER.
Good news. I got the job.
She sucks in her breath.
MARTA
Good. Great.
She looks away.
MARTA (CONT’D)
This job. Do you think it will change things for us?
He kicks off his shoes, loosens his tie, and climbs onto the bed. She reaches for him.
MARTA (CONT’D)
Let’s play the game. Tell me.
He nestles close.
BAER
You’re beautiful.
MARTA
Inside. You mean I’m beautiful inside.
He turns her head toward him and peers into her eyes.
BAER
You’re my beautiful Marta.
He pulls her close, kisses her cheek, her neck. His hand brushes over her breast. A faint GROAN purrs from deep inside and she moves closer to him.
MARTA
My back aches.
He turns her onto her stomach and massages her back. He becomes aroused. Tugs off her panties. Lowers his zipper. Enters her, gently pushing, gently, gently. She’s slow to join in the dance. Without warning she stiffens and lets out a thin, dry HISS.
MARTA (CONT’D)
Get off me.
He releases her.
BAER
Jesus, Marta.
MARTA
I’m sorry, Lane. It’s just…
They lie on their backs next to one another. He shifts away from her when something hard cuts into his side.
BAER
What the hell?
He digs into the blankets, draws out his revolver. The box of bullets tumbles onto the sheet.
MARTA
Don’t be angry. I thought I heard somebody breaking in. Lately with all the break-ins…I…I found your gun.
BAER
When you figured out there was no intruder you climbed in to bed with my Saturday Night Special?
MARTA
I have a migraine. I need to sleep.
Baer swings his legs off the bed and plants his feet on the floor.
BAER
Did you know Paige is home?
She nods.
BAER (CONT’D)
Did you know she has a boyfriend?
MARTA
No, but I’m not surprised.
He stands, stows the gun in his waistband, the bullets in his pocket.
BAER
I’m going to take care of you and Paige.
She squints into the distance. He turns her face toward him.
BAER (CONT’D)
Are you all right?
MARTA
Yes. I’m fine.
He picks up the telephone.
MARTA (CONT’D)
It’s dead.
The dial tone HUMS.
BAER
I’m suppose to go back to the school today. Maybe I’ll call and put it off until you’re–
Marta takes the phone from him, listens. Hears the HUM. She slams it down.
MARTA
I’m fine. Don’t compromise the job. Go.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Baer tosses cold water over his face, studies himself in the mirror. She stands in the doorway.
MARTA
What’re you thinking?
BAER
Just wondering how things got so fucked up.
She grimaces.
BAER (CONT’D)
Have to go.
INT. FRONT DOOR – DAY
He turns to leave then steps back, draws her close, their foreheads touch. He kisses her palm.
BAER
Everything’s coming up roses.
As he hurries out he straightens his tie, hikes his pants. The gun.
INT. ENTRY HALL – DAY
Baer casts about for a place to stow the gun. Opens the coat closet. Where to hide it? Ah, yes.
He leans down and stashes the gun and bullets deep into the toe of the right hiking boot, then stuffs in a thick sock.
He feels Marta’s gaze. He ducks back into the closet and pulls out an umbrella.
MARTA
I’ve never know you to carry an umbrella.
BAER
You’ve never known me to want a job as much as I want this one. The rain. I have to look sharp for the meeting.
At the front door, he looks back and points at her.
BAER (CONT’D)
No more shenanigans?
MARTA
No more shenanigans.
BAER
Promise?
MARTA
Promise.
He blows her a kiss and dashes for the garage. She hears the Volvo START UP. The car charges out.
Marta closes the door. A long hesitation. Then she goes into the coat closet. Fresh finger marks stripe the dust on Lane’s hiking boot. She feels inside, pulls out the sock, and cocks the boot toward the light. There at the bottom of the boot lodges the gun. Dead black. She doesn’t touch it. Instead she replaces the sock, and closes the closet door.
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Janeen Finished Act 3
What I learned doing this assignment is that with the number of drafts of the outline, I’ve come to know it so well (and apparently imagine writing it so many times), that it is flowing as quickly as I can type.
Quick Rating: <div>
Rule 1: Empowering Self Talk — Consistently Use
Rule 2: Understand Drafts — Consistently Use
Rule 3: Speed Over Quality — Consistently Use — INSIGHT: boy do I ever!!
Rule 4: Continue without all answers — Some Use — INSIGHT: There have only been a few times when I thought I was missing something big that I’d need in a scene
Rule 5: Keep Moving — Consistently Use — INSIGHT: but ONLY when I DON’T have a migraine. I’m dead in the water when I do.
Rule 6: Stumped now, rely on the future — Consistently Use — INSIGHT: no TBDs or XYZs so far in the script, but I’ve used them extensively in the past in other scripts where I’m not sure (TBD) or where I need a fact or name (XYZ as a placeholder)
</div>
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Jack’s Act 3
ACT 3
EXT. EVERGLADES – DAY
Under an early-morning sun, Billy Osceola and his daughter WINDY MOON, 18, fish from an airboat.
They see an airliner fly by, descending.
WINDY MOON
I’d like to ride in an airplane some day.
BILLY
Bad idea. You should keep your mind grounded, not up in the clouds.
WINDY MOON
But Papa, think about what you could see.
BILLY
Everything you need to see is here, right in front of you. This is the real world, the world we have been living for a thousand years, without any airplanes.
Windy Moon reels her line in, disappointed.
WINDY MOON
Did they catch fish for a thousand years? We hardly ever catch any.
BILLY
You can’t blame yourself, or the fish. It’s the pollution.
He reels his line in.
BILLY (CONT’D)
Let’s run by the hammock.
They stow their fishing rods and BLAST OFF.
MONTAGE – EVERGLADES TOUR
Windy Moon’s hair streams back as she enjoys the airboat sliding over the waterways and marsh.
The boat slows, then stops near a group of large alligators.
BILLY (CONT’D)
Hey boys, seen any pythons?
Billy, reverent of the big reptiles, ACCELERATES away.
They approach a hammock with a stand of palm tress. Billy surveys the scene.
Windy Moon points to a brushy area. Billy slows the boat.
Along the ground, a fifteen-feet-long python slithers through the brush.
Billy glides the airboat onto the shore, jumps from the bow and chases the snake as it slides away.
END MONTAGE
EXT. HAMMOCK – DAY
Billy catches the snake by the tail. It turns, opens its wide mouth showing its fangs and HISSES.
Billy expertly jumps to its neck, grabs it with one hand and with the other pulls a knife and slices off its head.
Windy Moon runs in.
WINDY MOON
Nice catch, Papa! Big one.
Billy relaxes, stretches the snake out to examine its size.
He sees a bulge, feels it.
BILLY
Pregnant.
Windy Moon points to an area on the snake where it is discolored to a dark gray.
WINDY MOON
What happened to it here?
BILLY
Even the gators can’t stop ‘em.
INT. AIRBOAT – DAY
Billy struggles to pull the snake onto the boat, succeeds.
WINDY MOON
Good job, Papa.
BILLY
At least the bounty will pay for our gas today.
EXT. KAYLA’S APARTMENT – DAY
On the porch, looking out over the ocean, Kayla and Victoria drink coffee. Kayla taps her heel, agitated.
VICTORIA
Maybe the lab can give the turtles larger webs for swimming and digging. They can change the DNA for traits in humans, including personality.
KAYLA
The environment determines your personality.
VICTORIA
Well, you’re an environmentalist. In my experience, genetics are the biggest factor. The polo match proves my point. The cloned ponies won the trophy.
KAYLA
Maybe you were just better players.
VICTORIA
No, the ponies are the biggest factor in polo.
KAYLA
But the environment means more; like what town you live in, what school you go to, and therefore the friends and associates you have.
VICTORIA
(soothing)
You’re still upset about the eggs.
I promise I won’t ever disturb any again.
Victoria moves close.
VICTORIA (CONT’D)
You think the way to solve your problems is with emotional debate about law. I look at the turtles and I consider a scientific solution. Regarding the Everglades there may be a political solution. Come to Miami with me. I can help you.
KAYLA
How?
VICTORIA
The law firm of the captain of the blue team, my friend Sir George Townsend, might be able to assist. He owes me a great many favors, and he contributes large sums to certain political campaigns.
KAYLA
Love to talk to him, but I’m pretty busy today.
VICTORIA
You can’t be too engaged. I’ve been told they call this town Zero Beach.
KAYLA
Please keep telling everyone that; we like it the way it is.
(pause)
Actually, I could see a client outside of Miami. I owe him a visit. Yeah, the Everglades are about to be ruined, just like the beaches. Lord knows we can’t keep King Sugar from fertilizing, oh, no, gotta have that white sugar. It’s so good for us!
VICTORIA
So you’ll come! Splendid.
KAYLA
I’d like to see you fly your plane. I’ll rearrange my schedule.
EXT. KAYLA’S HOUSE – DAY
In the driveway, Kayla and Victoria get into Kayla’s car, with Victoria wearing the clothes of the previous night.
A Mini Cooper drives in. Kayla stops, waits for Jeremy to exit his car.
KAYLA
Morning, Jeremy. I’m going to Miami. Cancel everything for today. I’ll call you.
Jeremy strains to see who Kayla is with as they pull out.
INT. KAYLA’S CAR – DAY
Kayla pulls out onto the highway.
KAYLA
That’s Jeremy, my secretary, the indispensable other half of my
big law firm.
INT. LEARJET – DAY
The plane TAKES OFF with Victoria and Charles up front and Kayla looking out the window in back.
They fly over a large lake.
Kayla unfastens her seat belt and shuffles up to the cockpit.
KAYLA
Lake Okeechobee. Much of the algae bloom destroying the lagoon comes into this lake first, then gets discharged into the rivers that feed the lagoon, or south into the Everglades.
Victoria looks at the lake, then unstraps and moves into the cabin with Kayla where they sit.
VICTORIA
Well, metaphorically, when your lake overflows and the pollution brings the red tide, the turtles fail. For me, when the central bank keeps pouring free money into the system, it eventually overflows and makes the currency worthless.
KAYLA
How can you stop it?
VICTORIA
There will come a reckoning. The Fed can’t bail out everyone forever. Perhaps even more important, cloud security is extremely vulnerable.
KAYLA
Sounds like the way you feel about bloodlines. Maybe genes shouldn’t be hacked.
VICTORIA
You are so funny. Genes are edited, not hacked.
(pause)
Sir George, the lawyer I want you to meet, has unhackable royal blood, you might say; twentieth in line.
KAYLA
I really appreciate the offer of assistance with his firm. So far, my efforts have been limited to lobbying against the subsidies the sugarcane growers get to flood their groves. The taxpayers have to pay for their irrigation and then later we have to pay for the consequences of the run off from the same irrigation.
VICTORIA
No litigation?
KAYLA
When you sue the sugarcane growers they make the litigation last for years with appeals, so as a single practitioner, I can’t withstand the time and expense. But, maybe with a big firm behind me I can get some traction.
With the skyline of Miami appearing in the distance, Kayla looks down over the Everglades from her window seat, sees an airboat with a man and a woman skimming over the water with a big python laying on the deck.
INT. GEORGE’S LAW OFFICE – DAY
At his desk, Sir George works on his computer.
He receives a buzz on his office phone. He responds.
SECRETARY (O.S.)
Victoria Cromwell.
INT. GEORGE’S LAW OFFICE LOBBY – DAY
Seated in a traditional law-office lobby, Victoria waits with Kayla and Charles.
Sir George comes down the hall. Victoria and Kayla stand. He greets Victoria with a light kiss on the cheek.
GEORGE
Darling.
He nods to Charles, who remains seated.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
Charles.
He smiles at Kayla, extends a hand.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
Hello, I’m George Townsend.
VICTORIA
Sir George Townsend.
GEORGE
Please, call me George.
KAYLA
Kayla Hitch. Saw you at the polo match.
They shake.
GEORGE
You certainly are in good shape.
(to Victoria)
I love these American women.
VICTORIA
Me too.
George raises his eyebrows.
GEORGE
Right, ah, well then, Victoria, may we talk privately?
(to Kayla)
Would you like coffee, or water?
VICTORIA
Actually I wanted to discuss something with you and Kayla.
GEORGE
Oh, splendid. Come on back.
Victoria and Kayla follow George to his office.
INT. GEORGE’S OFFICE – DAY
In a corner office offering spectacular views of Biscayne Bay and downtown Miami, the ladies take seats on the visiting side of George’s desk. He sits in his executive chair.
KAYLA
What a view! Quite an office.
GEORGE
Thanks.
VICTORIA
Kayla’s a lawyer also,
in Vero Beach.
GEORGE
Where did you go to law school?
KAYLA
I’m a Gator.
GEORGE
We have several of your alumni in the firm. Go Gators!
George reaches his arms out and does the Gator arm spread seen at football games.
Kayla appreciates the gesture with a broad smile.
VICTORIA
(to Kayla)
Tell George what you’re working on.
KAYLA
I’m trying to save Vero Beach from the red tide and the coral destruction and the Everglades from the nutrients and pesticides coming off the sugarcane fields.
George grimaces.
GEORGE
We represent Alphonso Rodriguez.
KAYLA
Oh, my God.
(to Victoria)
A big sugarcane grower. They say his wife is a voodoo priestess.
(to George)
Is that true?
GEORGE
What do you expect from a lady who comes from northeast Cuba by way of Haiti? She came to a deposition once and left chicken blood all over the plaintiff’s car. He ended up dropping the suit.
Kayla stands up.
KAYLA
I’ll go wait with Charles.
Kayla walks out of the office, closes the door behind her.
GEORGE
It appears the Gators forgot to include a course on voodoo defense.
VICTORIA
So much for that idea. Now, what did you want to see me about?
GEORGE
Positive eugenics.
VICTORIA
Meaning?
GEORGE
Darling, you and I have the most inheritable desirable traits of any two persons in England. Royal blood and money. We could create a beautiful child with every advantage known to man, and you don’t have to carry it!
Victoria stands.
VICTORIA
Have you been talking to my mother?
George stands, walks to Victoria.
He hugs her, but she does not hug back.
GEORGE
(whispering)
Our parents have wonderful minds. They always wanted us together.
She pushes him off.
VICTORIA
Don’t remind me. Good bye, George.
Victoria walks toward the door.
GEORGE
Darling, think about it. Santiago says we only need your eggs. He has a very healthy surrogate mother.
VICTORIA
Your brain’s been hacked by Santiago.
Victoria opens the door and walks out.
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Tracy El Pueblo Act 3
I challenged myself to get some speed, even though the lead character of this act is of a religion I’m unfamiliar with — but it is key. I stopped to do some research along the way, as I didn’t want to write too much that would have to be rewritten later. Before this pilot is ready to go out to producers, I’ll need to find someone to help fill in historical accuracy. As of this first draft, the dialogue’s probably reading clunky. But it is done!
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Rob Finished Act 3
Found it harder not to edit this act because I was dropping in some scenes from my source material and tried to make it fit rather than just dump it in.. Anyway, still enjoying the writing and moving forward.
Rule 1: Use empowering self talk. Cheer yourself on. A
Rule 2: Understand writing in drafts. B
Rule 3: Choose speed over quality for EARLY drafts. B
Rule 4: Allow yourself to start (or continue) without all the answers. A
Rule 5: Keep moving. Don’t allow yourself to ever stall out. B
Rule 6: Even if you can’t create it now, you will be able to at some point in the future! B
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