Day 3 Assignments

[June f]

June Fortunato’s Dueling Agendas for Retirement. Day 3

This is the opening sequence for my script. What I learned: Doing the high speed draft first is fun and helpful. Please note that I selected an odd scene- because Roy thinks that Suzy is there and smoking him out.

Part two, the landlord scene that follows uses competing agendas, as assigned.

Assignment: Go into your outline and select a scene where two characters have competing agendas. Be sure to highlight the character’s agendas through their actions and dialogue. Suggested steps:

1. Select two characters with competing agendas in a scene. List their names along with each character’s traits and their subtext above the scene.

Roy: Traits: Explosive side, charming, seductive, guilt, rescuer impulse, wit, rejection of

authority. Subtext: Somewhat desperate. To charm her and get into the house.

Suzy: Traits: Self less, deep empathy, afraid to stop going, longs to believe in the good, matchmaker for all kinds of things. Subtext: Escape her guilt. In this scene- frankly, to escape.

2. Create a situation where those agendas would naturally oppose each other.

This is the opening scene sequence. He wants in. She wants him out. Part two landlord He wants to escape and get the last laugh. He will not cower or play by the rules.

3. Write a high-speed outline of how the agendas can play out.

Roy doesn’t know that Suzy has split. His job is to charm her and she seems to be smoking him out. So he has to convince her- while she remains silent. He has to woo her, to make her laugh and then, he has to wait until she calms down and forgives him. He knocks. No answer. He sings to her. Nope. He finds flowers (weeds) holds them high at the window of the door. Nah. he waits. He builds a fire to keep warm. He sings Beatles tunes using her name and mashing up the lyrics. Finally, He steps onto something and makes faces into the window and discovers that the place is abandoned.

2

4. Write the scene in a free-flow, allowing the characters to express their agendas fully.

5. Go back through and enhance each character’s agenda.

Retirement, opening scene and two following/sequence.

Fade In

Roy, late 60s, scruffy despite the “interview blazer” he wears, wiry dude with nervous energy, tries the front door. Locked. He knocks.

ROY

Suzy? Oh Suzy-Q! Yo yo. Open open! Your Mr. Man is here!

No response. He leans his ear to the door. He knocks. Then he sings through the door to the Beatle’s tune of Honeypie

ROY (sung)

Suzy-Q. You are driving me crazy. And you think I am lazy.. but won’t you let me come home?

Silence. He hunts the yard for flowers (weeds) fists a bouquet and holds it up to a window at the top of the door.

ROY (sung)

Oh Suzy-Q. I am freezing my ass off. And I long to be near you. So won’t you let me come in? Silence.

ROY (spoken)

Babydoll. I’m sorry for … whatever I did. Said. I dunno. Pause. Come on honey. Let me rub your aching little feet. Let old Roy make it right like I do. …. Private Roy reporting.. at your command…. Very cold out here. Cold.

Nada. He shuffles around the side of the house and lights a fire in the grill to warm himself. He keeps looking up at the house.

EXT. SUZY’S RENTAL- NIGHT

It’s dark. Fire’s gone down. He smashes his mug into the window and makes weird faces to make her laugh. Nothing. He slips the window open, steps onto the hot grill (ouching), and slides himself inside.

INT. SUZY’S RENTAL- NIGHT

Cleared out. A few straggles of his clothes are on the floor. He knows what to do. He moves the fridge and gets a worn-out box. Inside: a bottle of Jim Bean, a knife, and something shiny with a ribbon, wrapped in a towel. And a note. From Suzy. It reads:

SUZY (V.O.)

I can’t do this anymore. Take care of yourself you dope and don’t do anything stupid. Oh, and this medal? I know. So. Get your benefits. Not that anyone can tell you what to do. Roy. I’m out. Take care.

Roy is surprised that Suzy knows. It shakes him. He drinks. Then he gathers himself and gets to it. He fills the tub and slips into the bath. He shaves off his beard and stares at himself.

ROY

Yo asshole. Haven’t seen you in a while.

Wrapped in the clothes he uses as towels, he locates a few hidden tools under the sink: screwdriver, multitool, gloves. He sets everything out. He sets his shoes out. His box. He puts his coat by the window. He’s ready.

Landlord: Traits: tired of bullshit, expects the worst. Impatient. Threatening. Roy in this part two: with the landlord: to escape and get the last laugh.

INT. SUZY’S RENTAL – DAWN

Roy sleeps in the hallway, his clothes packed around him and piled on top of him when a key turns the lock. Roy bolts awake. The landlord enters pointing a gun at Roy. Two cleaning ladies lean in behind the landlord to catch a glimpse of Roy.

LANDLORD

Get out.

ROY

Goooooood morning!

LANDLORD

Out.

ROY

Yo, let a man take a morning dump, would ya?

Roy sprints into the bathroom and locks the door. The landlord tries the bathroom door. To the cleaning ladies:

LANDLORD

Go ahead and start in the kitchen.

The landlord hears Roy singing through the door.

LANDLORD

I’m not as nice as Suzy. Not so patient, either. You got one minute and I shoot the door.

Roy gathers his tools puts on his shoes, and talks while he opens the window.

ROY

And ruin this nice house? Don’t do that, Joe. It’s Joe, right? I had a friend name a Joe once….. He died.

LANDLORD

Get the fuck out you mooch. I lost a great tenant because of you.

Roy slips through the window, and runs to the cleaning van.

EXT. SUZY’S RENTAL & CLEANING VAN -CONTINUOUS

Roy slides into the van and rams the screwdriver into the ignition. He gets it to turnover, and backs out as

INT. SUZY’S RENTAL

The landlord pounds on the bathroom door.

LANDLORD

Yo. Get out. Now!

The landlord forces the door and finds the window open and a pile of shit on the floor.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  June f.

[Dev Ross]

Dev Ross – Dueling agendas – scene

What I learned: Very helpful exercise to be sure. I learned that with subtext I can resist the need for exposition and rather get a feeling across in a far more judicious and interesting way.

CLAY CAINE: Dismissive, Self-righteous, Committed/Paranoid, Angry

HANNAH CAINE: Quiet, Loving, Demure/Fearful, avoiding, repressed anger

INT. CAINE KITCHEN – LATER

Clay drinks coffee while watching the news. Hannah, dressed in nurse whites for work, ENTERS.

HANNAH

Morning. I see you got yourself coffee. You rarely make it, so I hope it’s not too weak.

CLAY

I made it how I made it.

She pours herself a cup, grabs food out of the frig to make lunches.

HANNAH

Turkey, okay?

CLAY

Uh-huh.

She notices what he’s watching – Lincoln Able getting interviewed by a news host.

HANNAH

Boy, he sure is making a big splash out there.

CLAY

Out there? You mean with the black?

HANNAH

Well, yeah, with the blacks. They say he’s making a difference.

Clay keeps sipping his coffee.

HANNAH

By getting folks out to vote.

CLAY

Black folks. And you think that’s a good thing?

Hannah seems lost in sandwich making. Clay gets up to pour himself more coffee.

CLAY

I asked you if you thought that was a good thing?

HANNAH

Well, all the black nurses do.

CLAY

But do you?

HANNAH

I don’t know, Clay. I don’t pay attention to those things, you know that.

CLAY

Seems like you do. Big splash, black nurses all love him…

She packs the sandwiches.

HANNAH

I really have to go.

She starts then stops.

HANNAH

It’s just that, honey, things are changing. Maybe we should too.

Hannah grabs up her purse and lunch and heads out the back kitchen door.

HANNAH

See you tonight.

Clay keeps his eyes on the TV.

CLAY

See you tonight.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Dev Ross.

[Alice Eden]

Alice’s Dueling Agendas

What did you learn from this assignment?

I am afraid that it is too simplistic

Suggested steps:

1. Select two characters with competing agendas in a scene.

List their names along with each character’s traits and their

subtext above the scene.

Protagonist

Name: THANAKH

Traits: Suspicious, Respectful, Argumentative, Intelligent

Subtext: Research, observation

Name: Director of Research Institute

Traits: Nice exterior, politically correct, maybe corrupt, careerist

Subtext: self-centered

Antagonist

Name: ANAUPSH

Traits: Concealing, Crafty, Treacherous, Evasive

Subtext: Evil

2. Create a situation where those agendas would naturally

oppose each other.

Thanakh tries to convince Director to search labs, believing someone at RI is behind missing cases.

3. Write a high-speed outline of how the agendas can play out.

4. Write the scene in a free-flow, allowing the characters to

express their agendas fully.

5. Go back through and enhance each character’s agenda.

INT. DIRECTOR’S OFFICE – DAY

THANAKH

People disappear at our place.

Director is moving around, pressing black sleeve of just donned jacket.

DIRECTOR (O.S.)

What you say?

DIRECTOR (54), tall, spectacular brunet, slightly bolding.

THANAKH

What you heard. They disappear after passing the gates. And never come back.

Looks at Director. Hesitates.

THANAKH (CONT’D)

One of them was my Lover.

Director comes behind the desk, leans over, and writes quickly on small blank. Stretches paper to Thanakh.

DIRECTOR

Here, take a sick leave.

Thanakh doesn’t move to take it.

DIRECTOR

There is security, no one supposes to come in the labs except those who work here.

THANAKH

This means, it is done by someone from the Institute.

DIRECTOR

Fuck away!

THANAKH

You are shitty dirty assed motherfucker!…

DIRECTOR

What are you talking about? I have difficulty even to be a director of such a huge place.

THANAKH

You cannot be a director. Banish everyone, and search the labs.

DIRECTOR

Did you ever had any problems with psyche?

THANAKH

I would think I’m mental, but I know who I am. I have degree in science, I am professor, know biology, physic-chemistry, and other sciences. Besides, I’ve seen in my life a lot, and I keep close control of myself.

They keep arguing, as seen through the door.

Anaupsh enters. She is in silk blue tunic dress.

DIRECTOR

Come in!

She sits down.

DIRECTOR

How is DEVELOPMENT?

ANAUPSH

Much better.

Thanakh’s look slowly slides from Anaupsh’s head with most strict expression on the face and shot cut heap of auburn hair down, over rather muscular body, as dress permits to see, bare arms and legs.

ANAUPSH

What are you looking at?

THANAKH

Just look, how strong your body is.

ANAUPSH

I work.

Thanakh looks down at her feet. There, stuck behind sandal, is something metallic.

THANAKH

What is it?

ANAUPSH

Oh, it’s nothing, it’s just a metallic plate. I took a vow to wear it for a period, and stick to it.

Anaupsh’s male assistant, loose aged guy, appears at the doorway, and sees not expected Thanakh down there.

MALE ASSISTANT

Is something wrong?

Anaupsh answers roughly not changing pose, without turning to look at him.

ANAUPSH

Come and see.

DIRECTOR

(to Thanakh)

Go.

THANAKH

Bye.

He leaves behind the door, where for a while keeps standing, observing scene inside, as they sit.

[Anita Gomez]

(Anita Gomez) Dueling Agendas

What I learned doing this assignment: I had yet to flesh out traits for Rebecca (not even naming her yet), as a supporting character, and this helped immensely.

Name: Danica (Dani)

Traits: Success-oriented, Driven, Self-sufficient / Independent

Subtext: Secretive / Evasive, In denial

Character Logline: Danica is an ambitious lawyer whose career and very life is put in jeopardy by an unwanted pregnancy with her married boss.

Name: Rebecca (Becky), Danica’s older sister

Traits: Loyal, sweet-natured, bit of a space-cadet

Subtext: Everything filters through her Christian belief system; has kidney disease

Character logline: Rebecca is a family-oriented homemaker with a loving husband and two small children who clings to her Evangelical Christian upbringing that includes a staunch anti-abortion stance.

Scene Outline:

INT. DANICA’S SISTER’S HOME – DAY

Danica confides in her Evangelical sister that she doesn’t want this child and fears for her health, having been born with only 1 kidney. The sister guilt-trips her / tells her all life is precious and “she’ll grow to love the child”.

Scene:

INT. DANICA’S SISTER’S HOME – DAY

Danica walks into her sister’s slightly chaotic but comfortable middle-class home. She must step over several toys on her way into the kitchen where her sister REBECCA is stirring something on the stove with one toddler banging pots at her feet, while humming to the 9-month-old propped comfortably on her hip.

DANICA

Beck?

Her sister looks up with both surprise and pleasure at seeing her sister

REBECCA

Dani! I didn’t hear you come in. Here.

Rebecca unceremoniously hands the baby over to her sister so she can season what’s on the stove. Danica holds the child awkwardly and sets it on her hip, not looking inward, but away from her.

DANICA

Beck, I need to talk.

REBECCA

Sure. I’m the queen of multi-tasking. What’s up?

The baby on Danica’s hip starts to whimper. The toddler’s pot-banging gets louder.

DANICA

No… I can’t…. Here.

Danica shoves the baby back to her sister who now looks up giving Danica her full attention. With eyes still on her sister she adjusts her fussy child and calls into the other room for her husband.

REBECCA

Ted!

Her husband wanders in reading something on his phone.

REBECCA

Babe, take the kids for a minute so I can visit with Dani.

He absently looks up and notices their visitor as Becky passes him the baby, who instantly snuggles into his shoulder and quiets down.

TED

Oh hey Dani! Didn’t hear you come in.

REBECCA

Dani and I are going to have a chat – have you got this?

She indicates the dinner and kids.

TED

Sure.

EXT. DANICA’S SISTER’S HOME – DAY

The two sisters head into the backyard where it’s quiet and sit at a picnic table. Rebecca waits expectantly while Danica nervously brushes at some leaves. Then she just blurts it out.

DANICA

I’m pregnant.

Her sister is surprised and momentarily speechless.

REBECCA

I didn’t even know you were seeing someone! Oh, but how wonderful!

She goes in to hug Danica, who brushes her aside.

DANICA

No. NOT wonderful. I don’t want it. And neither does the father.

(beat)

I’m not having it.

REBECCA

You’re not – but you can’t mean it –

DANICA

Yes. I DO mean it. I can’t get it done here with this ridiculous ‘hearbeat law’, so I’m going to <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>New Orleans</st1:place></st1:city> and will be out of town for a few days. I just thought you should know.

Rebecca looks stunned. Then she takes a deep breath and gathers herself.

REBECCA

Dani, I know this must all seem overwhelming in the moment, but you’ll get your bearings and then the sheer joy of creating this precious life will settle in and –

DANICA

No. There is no joy. And there won’t be any –

REBECCA

But the moment you hold the baby your heart will just expand, it’s like falling in love –

DANICA

(laughs bitterly)

My life isn’t like yours Becky. I don’t have the white picket fence husband-family thing, and frankly have no appetite for it. I chose a law career. That’s MY path, and I won’t have some mistake interfere with that.

REBECCA reaches out to hold Dani’s hand.

REBECCA

It’s not a mistake, it’s a baby.

DANICA

(rising now)

No! It’s NOT a baby… it’s and embryo… an unwanted alien object intruding on MY life!

Rebecca stands too.

REBECCA

Think Dani, we grew up in the same church – what does it teach us…. What would mom and dad say?

DANICA

(coldly)

I don’t go to church like you any more. And mom and dad are dead.

The words are like a slap and Rebecca is stunned silent.

DANICA

(more gently)

Look Beck, we’re the only family each us of has now. And you already risked your life, TWICE, each time you had a kid. You may have been born with two kidneys to my one, but they’re weak… and well, frankly I do not intend to put my life on the line for a child I Do NOT want.

REBECCA

Dani, there’s always adoption –

Danica cuts her off by walking away.

REBECCA

(pleading)

Please don’t do this thing, I beg you! You’ll grow to love the child –

DANICA

I didn’t come here for a debate. I just wanted to let you know why I’ll be out of town. Goodbye Beck.

And she leaves.

[anna harper]

Anna Harper Day 3 Dueling Agendas<div>

What I learned from this assignment; this process made it easier for me to see how characters played off each other to create interest for the audience.

Character Dylan Traits: Isolation by choice, refuses to speak. Self-protection from intrusion

Alfie Traits Dog /Magician has superpowers, helper, life coach, irresistible dog charm

Conflict over agendas in the scene below.

Dylan does not want his bubble of silence broken or intruded upon. He has maintained his bubble successfully remain silent since his mother died two years ago.

Alfie has his own agenda. He is starving and enlists Dylan to get food, which entails them communicating telepathically.

EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET/DAY

Dylan hides in the doorways of village shops displaying Christmas themes.

The boys run after a terrified Dylan. He hides
in the doorways of village shops.

INT.GARBAGE SKIFF/DAY

He can hear the boys yelling and getting closer, desperate he climbs into a large garbage bin at the back of the Fresh From the Sea Fish and Chip Shop and pulls the lid down. The sound of the boys bullying voices, calling Dylan names, fades into the distance.

Dylan emerges from under the trash, dazed There are sounds of rustling in the trash, He is terrified, crying. A huge scruffy all-black Newfoundland dog emerges from under the trash with a large piece of fish and chip wrapper in his mouth. Dylan screams.

ALFIE

Shhh! Or those nasty bully boys will be back.

DYLAN V.O.(INTERNAL DIALOGUE)

Who is talking to me?

ALFIE V.O. speaks to Dylan telepathically.

It’s me I am talking to you, silently, inside your head, I have superpowers. We can talk like this and no one can hear us. Brilliant isn’t it?

DYLAN

I must have banged my head, I must be imagining this.

ALFIE

Nope, it’s me super dog Alfie at your service.

DYLAN’S body language is one of fear, cowering in the corner.

DYLAN

This is some kind of trick!

ALFIE

No, it’s just you and me talking silently, like I said this is my superpower, what is your name?

DYLAN

It’s Dylan and I still don’t believe this is happening.

ALFIE

Let’s get outta here. I’m starving, licking the fish and chip paper didn’t help. I know let’s go to the butcher shop trash and see if there are any tasty bits of raw meat left in the bin!

DYLAN

That’s disgusting, and you are the dirtiest dog I have ever seen! You stink!

ALFIE

See! I told you. We are talking silently inside each other’s head, it’s not a trick it’s a superpower, kind of like on Startrek. Now let’s get out of here before the boys find us.

DYLAN

We are not going to eat raw dirty old meat from a bin!

</div>

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  anna harper.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  anna harper.

[Lisa Paris Long]

Lisa’s Dueling Agendas

“What did you learn from this assignment?” that making each character be their own voice adds dimension to the scenes.

Name: MARY WINTERS

Traits: Competitive, Energetic, Clever, DRIVEN
Subtext: Fear: Afraid of heights, Afraid of loving someone again, Afraid of not being a good mom, Afraid of failing as the organizer of the IAWL festival and not living up to her mom’s perfectionism. Afraid of not getting to her ex-husband in time and finding him dead.

Name: JOSEPH BISHOP
Traits: Intelligent, Stubborn, Happy, REFINED
Subtext: Fear: Afraid of losing Mary and her girls and being alone.

OUTLINE FOR “MARY’S CHRISTMAS”

32. EXT-FRONT YARD-DAY

Ruthie and Janie are playing in the yard in the snow. Uncle Billy is running around barking at them. Joe and Mary are watching from the front window.

33. INT-HOUSE-DAY

Mary and Joe argue over moving their relationship forward. Joe leaves. Uncle Billy comes in and Mary rubs him with a towel as he licks her face.

FADE UP ON THE FRONT YEARD OF MARY’S HOUSE. RUTHIE AND JANIE ARE PLAYING IN THE SNOW. IT IS SNOWING HARD AND UNCLE BILLY IS RUNNING AROUND BARKING AT THE GIRLS. JOSEPH AND MARY ARE LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW.

CUT TO INSIDE MARY’S HOUSE.

MARY

They are so happy. (Moving away from the window) I haven’t heard from Peter. I don’t know if he’s going to show for Christmas tomorrow. The girls will be really disappointed.

JOSEPH

I’ll make it up to them.

MARY

What? You think you can fix everything that is wrong with my life. Well, you can’t. You can’t fix Peter!

JOSEPH

No, I can’t fix Peter. I can only try to make Christmas wonderful for you and your girls.

MARY

You want to tie everything up with a nice little bow. It’s not your place to make Christmas wonderful for my girls. It’s mine!

JOSEPH

Maybe it’s ours?

MARY

There is no ours…yet.

JOSEPH

What does that mean? I want to be with you…and with the girls. I care for all of you.

MARY

Well, just stop! It’s too much too soon.

JOSEPH

It’s been three years.

MARY

Why does everyone keep saying that? It doesn’t matter how long it’s been. It only matters how Janie and Ruthie feel.

JOSEPH

And you.

MARY

No, only Janie and Ruthie matter to me.

JOSEPH

(Looking out window)

They seem to be doing okay.

MARY

Look Joe if you really, truly care about us, you will just be patient.

JOSEPH

Okay. I will wait a while longer.

MARY

Just a while, huh?

JOSEPH

If this is never going to move forward, like I want it to, then I don’t know how long I will wait.

MARY

Great. Then why don’t you cut your losses now and leave?

JOSEPH

I’m going to go, but I will return. You are obviously having a bad day.

MARY

What! Get out!

JOSEPH

I meant what I said. I will return.

JOSEPH puts on his coat and leaves. MARY watches from the window as he says goodbye to the girls and drives away. UNCLE BILLY barks to get in. MARY grabs a towel and meets him at the front door. MARY sweeps him up in her arms and sits down rubbing him with the towel. Tears start to fall from MARY’s eyes as UNCLE BILLY licks her face.

FADE OUT

[Kate Hawkes]

KATE’S DUELING AGENDAS

What did you learn from this assignment is that I am a bit wordy,(get out a cup of coffee to read this) I love subtext, Iove the unfolding of the relationship via the agendas, and I begin to see/hear them as if they are people I know. And seeing it helps – what each does (or doesn’t do) is also the subtext.

Name: NIA

Traits: Kind, Hopeful, Passive, Principled, (In Denial, Self-censoring)

Subtext: Avoiding, denying, protecting her dream, uncomfortable with the familiarity and closeness

Name: LUCIANA

Traits: Determination, Courage, Impatience, Longing, (Scheming, Concealing)

Subtext: wanting closeness – a child of her own, to keep her from Darrogh to both protect her and punish him, hiding her first connection to Darough through Nia’s mother.

NOTE: This is the 3rd meeting between Luciana and Nia, a couple of days after Nia had arrived, found her long-lost father and moved in with him.

INT. COFFEE SHOP- DAY

Luciana sitting at a table, in a bench seat, at the back of the room in a corner, restless, a little anxious, on her second cup of coffee.

Nia rushes in, hurrying, excited, happy, looking around.

Luciana sees her, adjusts herself, adapts a calm pose. Waves to her. Nia smiles and comes over.

LUCIANA

Nia! Welcome. Sit, sit. Coffee?

She gestures to the bench next to her. Nia sits.

NIA

Luciana! Yes, thank you. I can get it.

LUCIANA

No, my treat. Anything special?

NIA

No – well, if they have oat milk? But dairy is fine too.

LUCIANA

They have oat milk if that’s what you want!

NIA

Then yes, yes thank you.

LUCIANA

Here, for you. I’ll go order it.

She gives Nia small package. Nia hesitates.

LUCIANA

Open it!

She leaves. Nia opens the package – it is a little Mexican rag doll. Nia is oddly moved. Luciana returns and sits close next to her.

LUCIANA

She’s beautiful, no?

NIA

Yes. It’s.. I’ve never had one of these. Thank you.

LUCIANA

Did you have doll as a child?

NIA

Oh yes, well, 1 or 2. My grandparents didn’t really like dolls.

LUCIANA

But it wasn’t for them, the dolls, si? They are for the child.

NIA

I suppose. I don’t think they expected to be raising a small child again.

LUCIANA

How did that happen?

NIA

My mother died, when I was 6 and my father was too sad to stay. So… But, and you know, I’ve found him now.

LUCIANA

Yes, you have…

The waitress brings Nia’s coffee. Nia puts the doll in her bag.

LUCIANA

Gracias.

Nia takes a sip, it is a special Mexican mix, not quite what Nia expected but good.

LUCIANA

It is good, yes?

NIA

Yes, different but you’re right. Very good.

LUCIANA

If you don’t like it, that’s ok.

NIA

No, I do. I do.

LUCIANA

You don’t like to upset people, do you?

NIA

Well, no. Why upset people if you don’t have to?

LUCIANA

Sometimes it is necessary.

NIA

Not often. Usually, it works out.

LUCIANA

And if it doesn’t?

NIA

It always does.

Nia is holding the mug in both her hands when her hair falls forward.

Luciana reaches out and pushes it behind her ear before Nia can put her cup down.

Nia sits back, surprised.

Luciana is staring at her.

Nia slides along to the end of the bench seat.

NIA

You said there was something you wanted to tell me.

Luciana sits back quickly, regroups.

LUCIANA

Oh, yes. How is it going with Darrogh?

NIA

My father?

LUCIANA

Yes.

NIA

It’s good. A bit weird, I suppose. I mean, we don’t know each other, but he’s so happy I’m there.

LUCIANA

And you? Are you happy?

NIA

Of course! He’s my father!

LUCIANA

He’s kind to you?

NIA

Yes! I have a beautiful room and there’s a piano I can play.

LUCIANA

It’s only been 2 days.

NIA

You don’t like him, do you Luciana?

LUCIANA

No, I don’t.

Nia concentrates on her mug. Luciana considers what to do.

LUCIANA

I want tell you why.

NIA

Why?

LUCIANA

I don’t want you to be hurt.

NIA

You don’t even know me, why would you care?

LUCIANA

There are men who hurt others, even their daughters. Es una mierda.

NIA

Did he hurt you?

LUCIANA

Si. When he first comes here, Senor McBride, with his big car, and all the money, he starts to corrupt this small quiet town.

NIA

How can he do that?

LUCIANA

He is very charming su padre. What he wants he gets. He has time. He doesn’t hurry. He build that enorme castilio up there, lots of jobs, por un ratito.

NIA

Ratito?

LUCIANA

A little while, not long but enough. Then everyone wants to see in it, he invites them in, fiestas especiales, juegos, tarjetas

NIA

I’m sorry… my Spanish ..

LUCIANA

Ah los siento, when I am excited? … special parties, games, cards.

NIA

Cards?

LUCIANA

Gambling.

NIA

Did you go?

LUCIANA

Oh no, never will I go in that house.

NIA

So how do you know?

LUCIANA

It’s a small town Nia! And mi padre – my father – he go.

NIA

Oh.

LUCIANA

You are such a sweet girl. Something about you …

Luciana puts out her hand and cups Nia’s chin.

Nia retracts her head. Luciana withdraws her hand.

LUCIANA

I grew up on a beautiful ranch, in an old hacienda that was my grandfathers’ and his fathers’. With green fields to the water.

NIA

Like where we’re camped?

LUCIANA

Right there – the house is down on the other side of the hill.

NIA

But you live here in town.

LUCIANA

My father lost it all to your father. And then he died. And Darrogh? He doesn’t live in it, and he won’t let me. Nobody. It is podrida.

NIA

Podrida?

LUCIANA

Rotting.

NIA

Why can’t someone live there?

LUCIANA

That is a question for him. I am just saying to you, be careful mi hija. He will hurt you if you ever cross him.

NIA

Luciana, I’m sorry you lost your family home, but he is my father. He loves me. Whatever sadness he has had, he has me now.

LUCIANA

And when he doesn’t want you any more? Y que?

NIA

I make him happy.

LUCIANA

I don’t have the ranch but I have mi casita. Come, stay with me. Get to know him from my place. You’ll have freedom to come and go as you wish.

Luciana leans forward and takes Nia’s hand.

Nia sits very still then withdraws her hand gently.

NIA

He’s my father. He’s a good person. He’s been alone for a long time. He loves me. I can’t take that away.

LUCIANA.

No, of course you can’t. Los siento.. I’m sorry … you are incomoda.. I see in you belleza so I…

NIA

I understand. It’s ok. I must go. I said I’d be home for lunch.

They both stand.

Nia slides out her side of the bench keeping the table between them.

Nia reaches out her hand to shake with Luciana.

NIA

Thank you for the coffee.

Luciana regards Nia’s hand (it would be a bit of a stretch.)

She lightly blows Nia a kiss.

LUCIANA

Anytime. And come visit any time. Mi casa es tu casa.

Nia nods, smiles politely and leaves.

Luciana stands watching Nia leave without a backward glance.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Kate Hawkes.

[Dana Abbott]

PS81 – Dana’s Dueling Agendas

What I learned from this assignment:

I love writing dialogue. And this assignment gave voice to my characters for the first time. I was able to hear the fear in my antagonist and hear my protagonist confused, troubled response. I’d been describing their action/reaction narrative in my outline, but writing this scene established the emotional tone for their eventual conflict.

Character Name: Ellen Landry

Traits: caring, ambitious, vulnerable, fearful

Subtext: intimidated, manipulative

Character Name: Jason/Ryan

Traits: Jason – frightened, childlike; Ryan – calculating, violent

Subtext: Jason – Intimidated; Ryan – Devious

Situation: Inciting Incident – First call between Jason and Ellen.

High Speed Outline

INT. CONTROL BOOTH/ON AIR STUDIO – DAY

BEGINNING: Claire, the show’s producer, takes a call from Jason. He has trouble expressing his reason for calling. She considers hanging up until he explains he’s having problems with his other personality.

MIDDLE: Ellen takes Jason’s call, but he’s reluctant to speak. Ellen draws him out gradually, but soon realizes he’s an old patient. She decides not to continue the call because of their past association, but Jason yells at her not to disconnect the call. She doesn’t. He tells her there is someone else with him, and when Ellen presses to know who, Jason warns her that the person has taken her family and that he intends to hurt them.

END: Stunned, Ellen presses Jason to explain, but before Jason can answer, he scuffles with someone. Ellen tries to listen, but the call goes dead. Ellen looks to her producer in disbelief, unsure what just happened, and she goes to break.

SCENE:

INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY

Claire screens a call.

CLAIRE

This is the Dr. Ellen Show. How can the doctor help you today?

BREATHING on the other end, like someone trying not to cry.

CLAIRE (CONT’D)

Hello? Can you hear me? You’ve reached —

JASON

(weak, whimpered)

Hello…

CLAIRE

What’s you’re name?

JASON

Jason.

Jason is very soft, weak voiced, almost afraid to talk.

CLAIRE

Hello, Jason. How can Dr. Ellen help you today?

JASON

I need to speak with Dr. Ellen.

CLAIRE

What seems to be your problem?

JASON

(almost crying)

I have a problem. And I need to speak to Dr. Ellen.

Claire’s finger touches the disconnect button on the console panel.

CLAIRE

If you can’t be more specific —

JASON

I’m having trouble with my other personality. I need Dr. Ellen.

Claire hesitates, uncertain.

CLAIRE

Okay. Hold for just a moment. I’ll put you through next.

Claire presses the hold button on the console.

INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY

Ellen is finishing up with her last caller.

ELLEN

Sandy, you and your husband have every right to celebrate your anniversary alone. It’s your marriage, not you, your husband and his mother. But he needs to be the one who establishes the boundaries with her. Otherwise, your mother-in-law will be in the hot tub with you at Sandals every anniversary.

SANDY

(on air)

I wish you could tell him that.

ELLEN

You can do it, Sandy. Just sit him down and tell him how you feel.

SANDY

I’ll try. Thank you, Dr. Ellen.

ELLEN

Good luck, Sandy.

(to Claire)

Claire? Who’s are next caller?

CLAIRE

(on air)

Dr. Ellen. We have Jason on the line. And he has another person in his life causing him grief.

Ellen looks quizzically through the glass at Claire, not understanding the explanation. Claire shrugs her shoulders.

Ellen presses the line on the control box and takes the call.

ELLEN

Hello, Jason. This is Dr. Ellen. How can I help you today?

JASON

(nervous)

Dr. Ellen? This is Jason…

Ellen listens, expecting more.

ELLEN

Yes, Jason. And what seems to be the problem?

JASON

You have to help me. I didn’t want to call you. He’s making me do it.

Ellen looks to Claire. They’re both perplexed.

ELLEN

Who’s making you, Jason? Is there someone there with you.

JASON

Yes.

ELLEN

Who is it?

JASON

He won’t let me tell you.

Ellen looks to Claire again. Both now worried. This call isn’t going well.

ELLEN

Will your friend speak with me?

JASON

No.

ELLEN

Why won’t he?

JASON

Dr. Ellen? This is Jason…

Ellen suddenly recognizes the man.

ELLEN

Jason? Are you one of my old patients?

JASON

Yes…

Ellen gives Claire an “oh shit” look.

ELLEN

Jason. I don’t think it would be appropriate for us to continue our conversation at this time. If you give my producer your phone number, I’ll be glad to call you —

JASON

(pleading, angry)

DON’T HANG UP ON ME!

Ellen jumps back in her seat. Claire is stunned.

ELLEN

Jason, I can’t counsel you over the phone.

JASON

If you hang up, he’ll hurt one of them.

ELLEN

One of who, Jason?

Long beat. Nothing. Jason BREATHING.

ELLEN (CONT’D)

Jason? Who is he going to hurt? Can you tell me?

JASON

Your family.

(crying)

He’s going to hurt your family. He has them.

Stunned, Ellen shoots disbelieving look to Claire.

ELLEN

My family? Who has my family, Jason?

JASON

He won’t let me tell you. He says if you don’t help me, he’s going to hurt one of them. You have to help me!

Ellen and Claire cast disbelieving glances at each other. Before Ellen can respond.

JASON (CONT’D)

(to another person)

No! I won’t do this! You can’t make me! You can’t MAKE ME!

(beat)

No! No…!

SCUFFLING on air. Jason fighting with someone. FEET SCUFFLING ACROSS A CEMENT FLOOR.

Ellen listens intently, trying to hear. She can’t understand what she’s listening to through her headphones.

JASON (CONT’D)

No. NO!

The line goes dead.

Ellen looks at Claire. She can’t believe what just happened, either.

Claire realizes they had dead air and signals Ellen.

ELLEN

(into microphone)

Maybe this would be a good place to take a break. We’ll be right back.

[Cameron Martin]

Cameron Martin’s Dueling Agendas

What I learned doing this assignment is…acting classes were a big help. This was one of the basic skills to learn in both improv and straight up acting courses and performing on stage. So, this lesson was an excellent refresher on the necessity to think from each character’s angle as an actor would. “What is the character wanting?” What’s excellent about the direction this course took though, was to ensure each character’s ‘want’ didn’t just differ, but ran counter to what another character wanted. Being conscious of that with each scene going forward will be helpful to write engaging plot beats, characters, and dialogue.

Sully

Agenda: Project a good image and demeanor, while getting his son to get off the construction site.

Character Traits: Inventive, Loving, Controlling, Disguising

Subtext: Disguising

Isaiah

Agenda: To get his dad to leave the construction site and observe a discovery he made.

Character Traits: Obsessive, Focused, Covering Up, Gentle

Subtext: Covering Up

Outline

Sully tells a coworker not to sweat it

Isaiah enters, excited and oblivious to the work being done around him

Sully excuses him on account of dangerous work

Isaiah tells him he’s made a discovery

Sully feigns interest and tells him later

Isaiah misses the cue and doubles down with vagueries

Sully comes out flat and tells Isaiah to go home

Isaiah tries convincing Sully

Sully ignores and has an assistant escort Isaiah off the worksite

Isaiah squirms out, and tries calming himself

Sully tells Isaiah to stop acting out and to look him in the eye

Isaiah stiffens but can’t bring himself to look his dad in the eye

Sully gets frustrated and tells him if he can’t follow a basic instruction as looking someone in the eye , then he has no place here.

Scene

INT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

SULLY helps up the ENGINEER that was knocked back by the blast of air from the engine.

SULLY (offering a hand) – “You alright?”

ENGINEER – “Can’t fuckin’ breathe.”

SULLY – “Do I need to get help, or are you just being over dramatic?”

ENGINEER coughs and takes the hand. He makes a motion that he’s fine.

SULLY pats him on the back.

ISAIAH runs in, focused solely on his dad and oblivious to the work being down around him. Many of the workers have to stop to avoid running into the young kid.

ISAIAH – “Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!”

SULLY sees his son and motions for him to slow down.

SULLY – “Jesus, Isaiah! Watch where you’re going.”

ISAIAH slows down, but keeps walking at a brisk pace, again, not paying attention to who’s around.

ISAIAH – “Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad…”

SULLY (grabbing ISAIAH’s shoulders) – “What are you doing here?”

ISAIAH – “I made the most amazing discovery!”

SULLY – “That’s great. Tell me about it later.”

(turning away)

“Can I get an assistant here?”

ISAIAH – “I know! I know how the tunnels work!”

An ASSISTANT walks up to SULLY and ISAIAH.

ASSISTANT – “Whatcha got?”

SULLY (to ASSISTANT) – “Take him back to, to wherever he’s supposed to be. School. Take him back to school.”

Assistant (to ISAIAH) – “Come on. This isn’t a safe place for little boys.”

ISAIAH (to ASSISTANT) – “In a minute.”

(to SULLY)

“Dad—“

SULLY – “Isaiah, go back to school. It’s not safe here.”

ISAIAH – “But, it’s not safe anywhere. Anyway, you gotta see this!”

SULLY (to ASSISTANT) – “Get him out of here.”

The ASSISTANT takes ISAIAH by the arm, but ISAIAH squirms and rips his arm free.

ISAIAH holds himself tight, his arms wrapping around his torso like he’s in a straight jacket.

Each time the ASSISTANT and SULLY try grabbing ISAIAH’s hand or arm, he pulls away, looking down at the ground and humming a constant tone.

SULLY (grabbing ISAIAH’s shoulders and holding him still) “Isaiah, look at me.”

ISAIAH hums louder, focussed on the ground.

SULLY – “Look at me, Isaiah.”

ISAIAH – “MMHMM!”

SULLY – “If you can’t follow basic instructions, then you don’t belong here with me.”

[Cameron Martin]

GRAND THEFT ROAD TRIP

The Kid

Agenda: To abandon her dad and escape

Character Traits: In denial, Deceitful, Reckless, Loyal

Subtext: In denial and Deceitful; The Kid lies about her criminal pursuits to her dad, she refuses to believe her dad when he says she can’t trust her boss, She lies to her dad about seeking justice. She hides the reason she even entered a life of crime in the first place

The Dad

Agenda: To convince his daughter to turn herself in

Character Traits: Protective, Concealing, Overbearing, Experienced

Subtext: Concealing; The dad acts like a suburban weakling to conceal his past, The dad tries to explain things in modern terminology when he struggles to connect with his daughter.

Outline

The Kid parks the car at a gas pump.

The Dad tells the Kid to stay in the car.

The Kid tells her Dad she knows more about a car than he does.

The Dad challenges the Kid’s confidence.

The Kid challenges the Dad’s authority.

The Dad uses the Kid’s lingo to try to get through to her.

The Kid doesn’t give him anything. Just starts get out of the car.

The Dad tells the truth about his past.

Scene

INT/EXT. Driver’s Education Vehicle – Day

THE KID pulls the car up to a gas pump, adrenaline still racing through both hers and THE DAD’s bodies.

She parks the car and turns the ignition off. An exhale of the engine matches the collective release both feel…

for a moment…

before the question of what happens next begins to cook their brains again.

THE KID

I’ll get the gas.

THE DAD

Stay in the car.

THE KID

We need gas.

THE DAD

Trust me. The gas is not going anywhere.

THE KID

Look, dad. I didn’t need the stupid driving lesson. I didn’t need you getting in the way. It’s not a crime that I’m a better driver than you.

Awkward pause.

THE DAD

You think your hot shit, don’t you?

The Kid gulps. She’s crossed the border, but there’s no turning back now.

THE KID

You think you’re still in charge?

The Dad, expressionless. He’s had enough of this. Takes a deep breath.

THE DAD

For shizzle.

THE KID

Ummmmm.

THE DAD

Is that not this generation? Yo, your life is about to be…fire…if you don’t…uh…

Nothing.

The Kid just stares at her dad, unimpressed, and done.

She opens the car door.

THE DAD

Wait.

The Kid takes a step out.

THE DAD

I used to drive with your boss, Malachi.

The Kid freezes, recognizing the name as her boss.

[Matthew Frendo]

Matthew Frendo’s Dueling Agendas

What I learned doing this assignment was how to enhance a scene by focusing more on dueling agendas. This will make my scenes more captivating for the reader and audience.

PROTAGONIST

Name: Alicia

Traits: Intelligent, Brave, Crafty, Fearful

Subtext: Crafty

ANTAGONIST

Name: The Host

Traits: Ruthless, Ego-driven, Conspiring, Charismatic

Subtext: Conspiring

Alicia is hopeful at this point, seeing the audience let them live. For once, she thinks she, and maybe even the others, can survive. She wants to live…and wants her new friends to survive with her.

Host is incensed that the audience turned
against the games. He wants to keep his power and will try to tame Alicia to
get it. He will keep her imprisoned as a hero if she plays along…and kill her
if she doesn’t.

INT. ALICIA’S DINNER ROOM – NIGHT

The dinner room is ultra-futuristic and positive, which contrasts with Alicia’s blood stained clothes.

They bring in a large dinner of chicken, potatoes, veggies – and a huge hamburger.

She greedily starts eating the hamburger without hesitation.

Halfway through, she looks up to find the smiling face of The Host looking down on her.

THE HOST

Figured you might like that.

She looks down at the burger, suspiciously, as she inches back away from him. The Host chuckles.

THE HOST

No, nothing like that. If you haven’t noticed, there are plenty of ways to kill you that aren’t so…cowardly.

She looks again at the burger, shrugs, and keeps eating, but sits farther back.

THE HOST

No, that was a gift. An offering if you will.

ALICIA

Offerings are usually made to the Gods.

THE HOST

This is a different kind. This one is for an offering of friendship.

Alicia looks at him, incredulous.

ALICIA

Friendship?

He nods enthusiastically, all smiles. Alicia sits up and tries to be nonchalant–

ALICIA

So, I assume that would include letting the rest of us out early–

The Host chuckles.

THE HOST

You know, I started these games thirty years ago. Most people think I’m just the lovable host, but the whole thing was my idea.

ALICIA

And you’re proud?

The Host smiles sadly, sitting closer to her.

THE HOST

I’m going to tell you something that no one else knows. In fact, if they did, I may be in these games next to you.

Alicia gulps down the bite in her mouth and listens attentively.

THE HOST

How old are you again, eighteen? When I was your age, I went off to University. There were no games back then. It was just cops and robbers in the streets, a savage society if there ever was one. My first night there, I went to a party and had the time of my life. When I awoke the next morning, the police were at my door. My parents had been murdered the night before. They raped my mother and made my father watch.

ALICIA

Oh, God…

THE HOST

I tried to attend University, but I couldn’t listen to the goodwill of man bullshit after that. So, I quit. And I spent the next six months working for a low-level bounty hunter in the worst ghetto the lower hills has to offer. When I learned enough, I found the people who hurt my parents. And I killed them. Myself, slowly, with these hands.

He holds up his hands, as if amazed.

THE HOST

After that, I came up with the games. To give other victims the same satisfaction I got. And after that, they grew. Now, we don’t even have real crimes anymore. And all it costs are ten lives a year.

ALICIA

In a way, you’re a hero. I can admire that.

THE HOST

Can you?

Alicis smiles, getting more animated.

ALICIA

Sure. I think if we told the audience what happened, they would to. They’ll probably love you even more after you show forgiveness by letting us all go–

The Host gets in her face, mean now.

THE HOST

Do you really think I’ll fall for this second-rate psychobabble shit? If you won’t talk real, there’s no point to any of this!

Alicia deflates, then looks at him, and decides.

ALICIA

Fine. Your rationale is bullshit. Everyone feels like a victim. Doesn’t mean it’s true. It’s just a way to make the guilty feel like good people.

He smiles broadly.

THE HOST

That’s exactly right. I knew you were smart. That’s why they work. Because everyone feels avenged, even those people who do the abusing.

ALICIA

Back to our friendship and letting us out–

The Host laughs.

ALICIA

It can be the one forgiveness in thirty years. Spin it like we’re all heroes. It’ll be good for everybody–

THE HOST

That doesn’t work, sweetie. And frankly, you’re smart enough to know that. One hero gives them a person to admire and emulate. Too many and you have revolution on your hands.

Alicia looks glumly at the burger.

ALICIA

So, this whole friend thing–

THE HOST

Is for you alone. And it’ll be easy. Just don’t go in as teams anymore. Let everyone go in alone and the audience get what they want. Then, when you’re the last one left, we give you an easy game and you come out as the second victor of the games. I bet you even become more popular then Bullet.

ALICIA

But everyone else–

He shrugs.

THE HOST

Like I said, the audience needs what they need. But you won’t have to worry about that. Or money. Or resources. Or anything else ever again. And you’ll be the most loved person in the world. More people have died for far less, trust me.

ALICIA

My father, in the room downstairs–

THE HOST

Will be safe as a clam. I promise.

Alicia sits there, silent and glum.

THE HOST

I have to get back to the crowd. But remember this…I am a great friend. More than that, I am a savage enemy. And if you’re not a friend, well–

He shrugs again.

THE HOST

(savage)

Even if you don’t care about yourself or your father, you have more family out there. And I can make their life hell for generations. Fucking generations!

(happy and positive again)

Toodles!

He smiles, waves happily and leaves.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Dueling Agendas

“What did you learn from this assignment?” Writing the scene was relatively easy and straightforward having the essence outline of the scene, and both characters’ agendas clearly delineated and competing. I wanted to pick an early scene, and found one that fit the assignment. Feels good to get the first scene written, regardless of quality.

Assignment: Go into your outline and select a scene where two characters have competing agendas. Be sure to highlight the character’s agendas through their actions and dialogue.

————————————–

Scene 6:

WALDO’S AGENDA: to prevent Evans from fleeing the scene and make him accountable for sabotaging his demonstration.

EVANS’ AGENDA: to persuade Waldo to pursue another course.

EXT. INDUSTRIAL ALLEYWAY – MOMENTS LATER

Waldo bursts out of the backdoor exit and sees Evans walking away nonchalantly, head turning back to see the cause of the noise.

WALDO

Hey!

Evans continues to casually walk. Waldo catches up and cuts him off. Evans calmly stops.

WALDO

Mr. Evans, you burned me!

Evans stares blankly.

WALDO

You killed people!

EVANS

Social media will say you killed people.

Waldo takes the mini disco ball out of his jacket pocket and holds it up.

WALDO

I have proof!

Evans stares blankly.

WALDO

So sabotage? Because I didn’t sell you my technology?

Evans stares blankly. He begins to walk.

WALDO

No! You’re going to jail!

Waldo puts the mini disco ball back in his jacket, and grabs Evans’ arm to prevent him from leaving.

Evans presses his cufflink, which electrifies his jacket, causing Waldo audible pain and forcing him to release his grip.

In two seconds, Evans punches Waldo’s injured shoulder, karate chops his throat, hip tosses him to the ground, controls him with a wrist manipulation, and pins him under his knee.

EVANS

To the victor belong the spoils.

Evans takes the mini disco ball from Waldo’s jacket pocket and puts it in his own. Waldo struggles, so Evans applies pressure to Waldo’s wrist to subdue him.

EVANS

Just stop. Stop pursuing space solar.

WALDO

That’s my life’s work! You don’t get to dictate…

Evans draws his gun and points it at Waldo, who is unnerved seeing his finger squeeze slightly on the trigger.

Evans contemplates killing Waldo as he stares coldly into his terrified eyes.

In one motion, Evans holsters his gun, stands, and hoists a surprised Waldo to his feet.

EVANS

Reconsider a different “life’s work”…or die.

WALDO

OK. Thank you, Mr. Evans.

EVANS

No hard feelings.

Evans punches Waldo’s injured shoulder, chuckles, and walks nonchalantly away.

[Antonio]

Antonio Flores’ Dueling Agendas

What I learned from this assignment

When we hear that every scene has to advance the story, sounds ambitious until you use a tool like this. Having the character traits and subtext in front of my eyes, it makes it possible to keep the scene tight.

Assignment: Go into your outline and select a scene where two characters have competing agendas. Be sure to highlight the character’s agendas through their actions and dialogue.

Suggested steps:

1. Select two characters

CHARACTER 1: Parisa – protagonist

Traits / Subtext:

• highly principled: must express gratitude, must help people in need (Philip is bleeding)
• perfectionist: she holds Philip as a professional, expects him to do his best
• extremely emotional… when nobody is looking: alarmed when Philip is bleeding
• fearful / withdrawn: unstable after the night brawl experience, helpless

CHARACTER 2: Philip – support

Traits / Subtext:

• efficient: knows exactly what his mission is
• unstable, impulsive self-damaging: self-cutting, smokes
• socially shallow: unable to accept help, rude

2. Create a situation where those agendas would naturally oppose each other.

After the unexpected first night in the desert, once the brawl is over and Parisa has saved the day, Badahur and Parisa wonder where Philip is. He was badly beaten by the guards

3. Write a high-speed outline of how the agendas can play out.

• Parisa finds Philip. [Parisa: principled: express gratitude] He is alone, engage in self-damage [Philip: impulsive, self-damaging]
• Parisa helps contain the hemorrhage. [principled: must help people in need] Philip doesn’t welcome her.
• Parisa wonders if Philip can help them escape. [fearful: unstable]
• Philip reveals his mission is to prevent the payload from disclosure, [Philip: efficient, knows what his mission is] not about protecting anyone. [Philip: socially shallow, unable to care for others]
• Parisa feels uncomfortable. Stops treating Philip’s wound. [emotional, withdrawn]
• Philip slashes Parisa with ingratitude. [Philip: socially shallow / inept, unable to accept help, rude]

EXT. DESERT — RULER’S UNDERGROUND MMA COMPLEX — NIGHT

Philip sits alone in the sand. He cuts his fighter handwraps using his metal nail implants. Parisa approaches him.

PHILIP

What’ you want?

PARISA

Are you OK? We were wondering—

PHILIP

I’m not OK. Leave me alone.

PARISA

Listen. You got beaten for us and I —

PHILIP

Save your words. Go back.

PARISA

Sure. Mmh… uh, sure.

Parisa leaves. Philip’s stares at his tape-free left hand. He cuts his forearm skin open with the metal implants. Painfully, he glares at the blood that pours from the wound. Parisa returns.

PARISA

OK. Listen, I just wanted—

(looks at the blood)

Hey, STOP! Don’t… don’t—

She dashes to Philip side, grabs pieces of the handwraps and covers the cut.

PARISA (CON’T)

Here! Don’t move! Just need to press this…

Don’t move!

PHILIP

Is just a scratch.

PARISA

Don’t move. You will be fine.

How did you, I mean, what—

Philip unfolds his nail implants. Parisa openmouthed takes a glance at the blades. Philip quickly folds them back.

PARISA (CON’T)

You could have killed the guards with those!

But you let them… Now, seriously, why’ you —

PHILIP

Nah. Uh-uh. If they found out, they’d chop off

my hands. Nah. Not just yet.

PARISA

Hey. Can you…

PHILIP

What?

PARISA

Can you take us out of here?

PHILIP

Oh, that? That—

PARISA

Can you?

PHILIP

That’s not my mission.

PARISA

So, so what’s your mission?

PHILIP

Monitor repository. Prevent payload

disclosure.

PARISA

W-what? OK. Now in English, please.

PHILIP

To monitor Alpha Target… mmh, the witness.

Prevent him from giving the secret away.

PARISA

So, your job’s to protect “B”,

which means—

PHILIP

No. That’s not part of the deal.

PARISA

But, but you just said—

PHILIP

Look. My orders—

PARISA

But then how can you prevent that he

gave the secret away?

Philip’s eyes look somewhere else. Pulls a cigaret pack from his pocket. It’s empty.

PHILIP

Damn it!

(to Parisa)

Bet you don’t happen to have a… uh?

Parisa shakes her head. Philip crumples the empty pack.

PHILIP

Knew it. Anyway…

Repository must be monitored. Closely.

Parisa scrutinizes Philip’s eyes.

PHILIP (CON’T)

Anything that could result in payload

disclosure MUST be anticipated and…

Philip throws away the empty cigaret pack.

PHILIP (CON’T)

… TERMINATED.

PARISA

(grows impatient)

Look. You don’t want to speak English.

(quits pressing wound)

so, I think I better go.

Parisa takes off with quick steps.

PHILIP

Hey! Hey!

…Thank you!

PARISA

Forget it. It’s nothing.

PHILIP

Not talking ‘bout the wound.

Parisa slows down. Confused.

PHILIP (CON’T)

I asked you to go back a while ago.

Philip throws away the handwraps that Parisa used to put pressure on the wound.

PHILIP (CON’T)

… and you just finally listened.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Antonio Flores.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Antonio Flores.

[Michael O’Keefe]

Day III: Character Agendas – Assignment

Mike O – Dueling Agendas

What did you learn from this assignment is the juxtapositioning of agendas creates instant conflict and allows the writer to build-up the characters’ hidden agendas. I am reminded of the set/payoff and how creating setup-payoff chains added to the entire script. You can track and build the various characters agendas, show how they change as circumstances change and also to illustrate the maturation or decline of that particular character.

——————————————-

[1]. Select two characters with competing agendas in a scene. List their names along with each character’s traits & their subtext above the scene. Go into your outline and select a scene where two characters have competing agendas. Highlight the character’s agendas through their actions and dialogue.

Name: Brooklyn Murray (protagonist)

Traits: 1. Workaholic – obsessed with her work 2. Romantic 3. Indecisive and struggles with OCD 4. yearns to be a successful artist 5. In denial

Subtext: Conflicted, In denial — unwilling to acknowledge her pain
======================================================
Name: Richard Feldman (antagonist)

Traits: 1. Womanizer – women are a means to an end only 2. Manipulative 3. Sociopath 4. Wants to be rich 5. Devious

Subtext: Hiding his intention to steal the gallery from Brooklyn. He covets art, loves paintings, hides the fact he is a lousy painter and dropped out of famous art school. ====================================================== From Scene 11 of the master outline

INT. CORNER TABLE – LATER

Table linen, candle and porcelain china, place settings complimented the service and decor. Brooklyn glances out the window: pines swaying in the moonlit air. Across the table from her, Richard. His nonchalance a pretext. Before them, their entrees.

BROOKLYN “I heard you’re interested in the gallery.”

RICHARD “You did? Huh, I’m not sure this is the time or place, but since you broached the subject, what were you thinking?”

BROOKLYN “I don’t know: rental contract, lease agreement, lease-to-own? Actually, not sure if I want to sell, or take over where my father left off.”

Richard reaches for his wine, gives a thoughtful pause while savoring the Merlot.

RICHARD (lies) “Your father and I were business partners. I believe you will find papers to that effect in the office. Where? Lord knows, Joshua had a way with organization. “

Richard flashes a charming smile as the waitress returns with a water pitcher. He waits while she refills his glass.

RICHARD (CONT’D) “As I was saying, your dad and I worked the gallery together. Acquisitions and appraisals, client signings, my area of expertise. Marketing, promotions and showings, your father’s focus. “

Brookly, knife in hand, slices into her steak. CLOSE ON the cut as BLOOD leaks out of the New York strip.

Richard, lips red with wine, dabs his mouth with a linen napkin. The princess-cut diamond on Brooklyn’s right index finger holds his gaze.

RICHARD (CONT’D) “I would never had guessed you like your meat bloody.”

===============================================================

2. Create a situation where those agendas would naturally oppose each other.
Brooklyn searches the office, cannot find any papers on a partnership. She confronts Richard, says: “I have been thinking it over and I believe I will hang onto the place. For the time being at least.” (smiles) “I know a thing or two about art and artists.”

Richard hides his irritation with a coy smile. “You do. Pray tell. Who are the top three contemporary artists in this region. Make it the entire rocky mountains?”

Brooklyn shrugs, “Haven’t a clue.”

Richard leaves it at that. He pretends to go through some files, his cell rings, he says: “I really must take this. Jonas is a watercolor extraordinaire. I really must sign him, mouths: ‘he’s easily number two.’

===============================================================

3. Write a high-speed outline of how the agendas can play out.

INT. GALLERY OFFICE – DAY

Brooklyn – “Been thinking about our conversation. Believe I will hang onto the place for the time being. I know a thing or two about art and artists.”

Richard – “You do? Pray tell, who are the top three contemporary artists in this region. Make it the entire rocky mountains?”

Brooklyn – “Haven’t a clue.”

Richard leaves it at that. He pretends to go through some files, his cell rings,

Richard – “I really must take this. Jonas is a watercolor extraordinaire. I really must sign him, mouths: ‘he’s easily number two.’

===============================================================

4. Write the scene in a free-flow, allowing the characters to express their agendas fully.

INT. GALLERY OFFICE – DAY

Brooklyn “Been thinking about our conversation. Believe I will hang onto the place for the time being. I know a thing or two about art and artists.”

Richard (right) “You do? Pray tell, who are the top three contemporary artists in this region. Make it the entire rocky mountains?”

Richard continues fussing with the stacks of papers.

Brooklyn “Haven’t a clue.”

Richard “That is why your father and I made such great partners. We stayed in our lanes. Art and emerging talent (takes a bow). Marketing and sales, Joshua. “

Richard looks over (casually) “You do have sales and marketing experience, yes?”

Brooklyn “My best friend owns a very successful art gallery in Chicago. I’m one of her clients. She can easily catch me up to speed on who’s who. (flips through papers) “She might even want to add my father’s gallery to hers.”

Richard’s cell phone CHIMES. He checks the caller ID.

INSERT – CALLER ID

“Spam”

Richard – “I really must take this. Jonas, a watercolor extraordinaire. I really must sign him, mouths: ‘he’s easily number two.’

Richard walks out of the office, refrains from slamming the door shut. The look on his face one of cunning. He mutters: “If bloody is what you want, steak tartar it shall be.”

===============================================================

[Nancy Kates]

Seducing Actors Day 3 Dueling agendas homework Nancy Kates

What I learned from this: I need to remember this with every scene that I write, that each character has an agenda, and everyone is trying to get something that they want or need. It bakes in the conflict. I chose something really simple, but it still creates conflict.

Zoe character traits: smart, realistic, controlling, withholding

Her agenda is to get away with pretending to be Marilyn

Willow, age 3, is independent, willfull, and somehow senses that Zoe is in Marilyn’s body, ie is totally distrustful. (Three-year-olds don’t have much subtext.)

Her agenda is to get rid of Zoe and get her actual mother back

INT. MARILYN AND DOUG’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Willow sits on the floor, surrounded by a sea of Peter’s Lego bricks. She picks up bricks, one at a time, and flings them toward the sofa.

Zoe (in Marilyn’s body) walks in, trips over a Lego, and winds up on the floor. Willow looks at her strangely, without sympathy, almost the way an angry teen might react.

Zoe piles the Legos into some semblance of order, then tries to take Willow’s hand, to lead her to her room. Willow pulls away.

WILLOW

I’m a big girl. I don’t need you.

INT. WILLOW’S ROOM – NIGHT

A typical room for a little girl, lots of yellow and stuffed animals and cozy corners and play spaces. Zoe reads Make Way for Ducklings to Willow, who refuses to snuggle.

ZOE

(reading)

“The ducklings liked the new island so much that they decided to live there. All day long they follow the swan boats and eat peanuts. And when night falls they swim to their little island and go to

sleep.”

And now you should sleep too, little duckling.

WILLOW

No. I don’t have to do what you say. You’re not my Mommy. Who are you?

ZOE (in Marilyn’s body)

Why would you say such a thing? I’m sure you’re tired, sweetie. Please be nice! It’s time for bed!

WILLOW

I want you to go away! I want my Mommy!

Zoe, alarmed, tries to remain calm.

Willow starts sobbing.

ZOE

It’s okay, little one. I’m right here.

Zoe puts her arm around Willow to comfort her, and Willow pushes her away. Willow sobs herself to sleep, finally, as Zoe watches her, exhausted, unable to help. She sits next to Willow for a long time, then turns out the light and leaves the room.