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Day 4 Assignments
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What I learned from this assignment is creating a structure to a character intentionally drives their storyline and they drive and draw the audience deeper into their lives.
Irene:
Beginning: Irene ivy league educated activist forced on the road to find her nephew Isaac’s family for survival. She is approached by bandits on their way to the displacement camp.Turning Point: Community was raided she takes action with her sister Jessie to keep Isaac’s and her best friend daughter Mira safe after her parents were killed.Midpoint: 7 years earlier she and Jessie foster their 2 year old Isaac and knows finding his Native American family yet, knows it will be dangerous. Turning Point 2: Irene meets another social worker who puts them in touch with an investigative team who will assist the family in finding Isaac’s family. Irene was never able to have children feels this is her chance to be a mother and feels finding Isaac’s family may rob her of that. She knows it’s the right thing to do so she moves forward with the social worker.Major Conflict: Through her work experience Irene notices a cultural mistake the social worker says and discovers the investigative team are child traffickers who get a premium for Native children. She is also tipped off by Grandpa Frank who knows they are fake. Ending: Irene gathers the family reports the criminals and heads back on the road back to their community. She realizes it is too dangerous to find Isaac’s family.(Dilemma is optional.) 7 years later her and the family hope to survive the displacement camp picked up from the beginning of the episode.
Jessie:
Beginning: Waking up from a hangover on the road with sister Irene, 9 year old Isaac and 7 year old Mira they come upon bandits posing as security check. She is on to them right away they are bandits. Turning Point: Her and Irene hide the children get in a scuffle with the bandits and Jessie and Irene shoot them. Midpoint: 7 years earlier they adopt Isaac but is against finding his family due to its too dangerous. She unsure taking on Isaac due to the burden and limited resources they have in their community. She tells Irene let the social worker take care of finding his family. Turning Point 2: Jessie is newly sober not wanting responsibility is relieved when she meets the social worker with her investigative team and tries to convince Irene to let them take care if it. Major Conflict: Jessie is devastated that if they allowed Isaac to go with the investigators alone Isaac would be trafficked. Ending: 7 years later from the beginning of the episode as they pull into the displacement camp Jessie uses her sexual currency to seduce an officer to see what she can get out of him.(Dilemma is optional.) She resents Irene that fact Jessie does the dirty work for the family behind the scene with Irene constantly looking down at her wondering if it’s worth it to stay with them.
Grandpa Frank:
Beginning: Grandpa Frank see’s Irene and Jessie pull up at the social workers office. He is intrigued why they are they. He sits next to an elderly women telling her how his people used to pick up checks from the government. Turning Point: He notices the social worker outside with the investigators and security team. He tells the women how it’s getting so bad you need armed guards to travel anymore but no one much cares about him. Midpoint: He is onto the social worker and the investigators team that they are fakes and are really traffickers. Turning Point 2: He turns to Jessie and Irene saying they better do their due diligence.Major Conflict: He walks by the fake social worker and investigators says in Lakota “good thing you are just ignorant enough that this child will be saved.” Ending: As Irene and Jessie are leaving with Isaac to escape the traffickers he approaches them walking with his cane with a limp asking for a ride since he does not walk so good. He feels they owe him since he tipped them off about the traffickers. He sings to Isaac in Lakota in back of the bus as they drive away. He thanks Irene and Jessie saying he won’t be much trouble. (Dilemma is optional.) 7 years later as they approach the bandits Grandpa Frank warns them of danger.
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Kim’s Character Story Lines
What I learned from this assignment is where I could increase for tension and more story subplots. It was actually a lot of fun, I added a new character and gave yet another character a cameo in the pilot, which I hadn’t intended to do.
NATALIE
• Beginning: Natalie is mesmerized by the cold ice.
• Turning Point: She’s behaving like a small child, and Eric is upset with her.
• Midpoint: She discovers Eric a bloodied mess in the home
• Turning Point 2: The police think she’s the attacker
• Major Conflict: She knows she didn’t do this, and yet she’s being blamed
• Ending: She finds a message written to herself on the mirror accusing her of attempted murder
ERIC
• Beginning: Eric finds his wife having a personality change episode
• Turning Point: He has to make it stop by sending her out of the room before his ex-wife sees the strange behavior
• Midpoint: He sees the person attack him with the knife, and is caught off guard
• Turning Point 2: He is taken to the hospital, asked if he saw who attacked him
• Major Conflict: He doesn’t want anyone to know his wife did this to him
• Ending: He tells them he didn’t see who it was. (Later, he will change his story and make someone up.)
LINNIE
• Beginning: Natalie makes her feel uncomfortable, talking about dying in cold water. She turns it into a game.
• Turning Point: She knows her mom is coming to pick her up, but she would rather stay and play with Natalie.
• Midpoint: Her father gets angry with Natalie, and Linnie tries to defend her, but Nat is still sent away.
• Turning Point 2: Her mother makes it obvious she thinks Natalie is too immature, too wild. Hints at Natalie’s poor background, but Linnie defends Nat.
• Major Conflict: Linnie thinks Natalie is a lot more fun than any other grown-up in her life.
• Ending: She leaves with her mother, but mentions something about Barbie needing to be rescued from the frigid water. Nat doesn’t seem to understand.
DANIELLE
• Beginning: Danielle rings the doorbell when she comes to pick up Linnie from Eric’s house. She hears laughter and commotion and peers through the glass.
• Turning Point: Eric is talking down to Natalie, which amuses Danielle.
• Midpoint: She mentions to Eric that she’s noticing Nat’s immature behavior, razzes him about “robbing the cradle.”
• Turning Point 2: Linnie defends Natalie, which pisses Danielle off. Linnie should have NO LOYALTY to Eric’s second wife.
• Major Conflict: She wants Eric to know she’s watching, paying attention, even as she’s trying to appear light and caring to Linnie.
• Ending: She leaves with a veiled threat to Eric about Natalie being likely to be committed someday.
DETECTIVE BERNARD
• Beginning: Inspects the house, there is no breaking or entering.
• Turning Point: Finds the knife used for the attack in the sink and bags it.
• Midpoint: Takes Nat in for questioning, though lets his fellow police peeps know he already suspects her and he’s never wrong.
• Turning Point 2: At the station, he’s surprised that she passes the polygraph with flying colors and she seems authentically bewildered about who could have harmed Eric.
• Major Conflict: It makes no sense, evidence seems to point to Nat, and yet, she is either the best actress in the world, or really does believe she is innocent.
• Ending: He lets her go.
AGGIE
• Beginning: Arrives at the hospital, crazy upset about her boy.
• Turning Point: Asks him point blank who could have done this to him, but is ushered out by hospital staff, as they are taking him to get stitches.
• Midpoint: Makes a phone call to someone, though we don’t know who it is, asks if that person might have an idea who could have done this.
• Turning Point 2: She tells the person on the phone she suspects it’s Natalie and could Nat know about this person’s relationship with Eric?
• Major Conflict: Aggie wants police to blame Natalie, but she needs to play it cool for her son, who she knows will refuse to point a finger at Natalie.
• Ending: She wants to make sure the nurses take good care of her son.
ACT ONE
Teaser: Natalie stares at ice cubes in a glass of water, shakes it. Tells Linnie, “A human will only last about ten minutes in freezing water.” She places a Barbie Doll into the water as Linnie watches.
Essence: Natalie is reliving her past life as a girl who drowned in freezing water, but does not know this right now.
(L TP) Natalie makes Linnie feel uncomfortable, talking about dying in cold water. She turns it into a game.
(E Beginning) Eric finds his wife having a personality change episode.
(D Beginning) Danielle rings the doorbell when she comes to pick up Linnie from Eric’s house. She hears laughter and commotion and peers through the glass.
(E TP) Reic has to make Natalie stop by sending her out of the room before his ex-wife sees the strange behavior
(D TP) Danielle enters, she heard him yelling at Natalie, saw the ruckus through the side pane windows, expresses annoyance at Nat’s childish behavior. But Natalie walks into the room as if nothing odd has happened.
(L MC) Major Conflict: Linnie thinks Natalie is a lot more fun than any other grown-up in her life.
ACT TWO
Essence: We learn Natalie is on medication, but she hasn’t taken it lately. This upsets Eric.
(E TP) We learn that not only is Natalie married to Eric, but she was, and still is, his psychiatric patient.
Essence: Eric is on the phone with someone, talking in a low voice, mentioning he only has a little bit of time, his wife is grocery shopping. There’s a sexually charged discussion, he’s obviously having an extramarital fling.
(E MP) He sees the person attack him with the knife, and is caught off guard
(N MP) Natalie discovers Eric a bloodied mess in the home and calls police.
ACT THREE
(B B) Detective Bernard inspects the house, there is no breaking or entering.
(B MP) Takes Nat in for questioning, though lets his fellow police peeps know he already suspects her and he’s never wrong.
(N MC) She knows she didn’t do this, and yet she’s being blamed.
(B TP) At the station, Detective Bernard is surprised when Nat passes the polygraph with flying colors and she seems authentically bewildered about who could have harmed Eric.
(B Ending) The detective lets Nat go.
ACT FOUR
(A Beginning) Eric’s mother Aggie arrives at the hospital, crazy upset about her boy.
(A MP) Makes a phone call to someone, though we don’t know who it is, though we think it’s Danielle, asks if that person might have an idea who could have done this.
(A MC) Aggie wants police to blame Natalie, but she needs to play it cool for her son, who she knows will refuse to point a finger at Natalie.
(E TP) Detective Bernard visits and asks if Eric saw who attacked him.
(E Ending) Eric tells them he didn’t see who it was. (Later, he will change his story and make someone up.)
ACT FIVE
Essence: After a grueling question and answer session and realizing the police took the knife she touched as evidence, Natalie comes home and hears Eric’s phone ringing. She finds it under the bed, but when she answers it, the person hangs up. The number is unfamiliar.
Lock In: She makes up a steamy, hot bath. Cries, pulls herself together. When she gets out of the tub, written in the condensation on the mirror is the sentence: “You did that to him.” Frightened, she rubs it out.
(A Ending) Aggie wants to make sure the nurses take good care of her son. She plants money into one nurse’s hand and says, “Anything he wants, you give him, understand?” The nurse nods slyly. She and Aggie seem to have an understanding. The nurse looks around to make sure no one notices, then she slips into Eric’s hospital room.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by Kimberly Gore.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by
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Phyllis’ Character Storylines
I learned from this assignment that character arcs are essential to a character-driven series.
Sasha begins as an EPA superstar who is framed and fired and ends up working for a billionaire activist who seems delusional.
Sasha’s Storyline Structure
· Beginning: An EPA investigator is about to take down a major oil company, with the help of her friend at the Department of Justice.
· Turning Point 1: Her friend at the DOJ betrays her and orchestrates a financial settlement with the oil company’s CEO.
· Dilemma: Has to decide whether to fight the settlement by proving that CEO Delia and her friend at DOJ are colluding.
· Midpoint: After coming up empty, framed by Delia and fired.
· Turning Point 2: Unemployable in her field, has to move in with her mother because she can’t afford rent.
· Major Conflict: Wants the job assisting Duncan with supporting climate science, not the job he’s offered: to track down creatures spawned by the build-up of greenhouse gases.
· Ending: Gets what she really wants: the chance to fight climate change on her terms, because if she works for Duncan for three years, he’ll fund an environmental foundation for her. Goes on her first case and discovers something unexplainable.
Duncan starts as an impractical, impulsive billionaire activist with a secret mission he can’t complete alone, and ends up with the partner best suited for the task.
Duncan’s Storyline Structure
· Beginning: A billionaire activist supports climate science by day, and is obsessed with suspicious deaths from extreme climate events by night. Totally impractical, he’s made no progress.
· Turning Point 1: Betrayed by his private investigator, who is working for Delia.
· Midpoint: Tries to investigate suspicious deaths on his own, but money doesn’t grant access and he ends up being arrested.
· Turning Point 2: Delia warns Duncan that she’ll compromise any private investigator he tries to hire.
· Dilemma: Has to find someone with top-notch investigative skills who won’t betray him to Delia.
· Major Conflict: Desperate to reverse climate change by killing the creatures, but he needs Sasha, who is backing away because she thinks he’s delusional.
· Ending: Duncan sweetens the deal and Sasha agrees to come on board. They go back to the site of the suspicious deaths and find something unexplainable.
Outline – first version
Teaser:
· Essence: A family protects its home from a threatening wildfire and then settles down to dinner.
· Turning Point: A large reptilian head, eye and jaws prominent, appears at the window. After a beat, the door bursts inward, and we see the startled faces of the family members.
Act 1:
· Essence: (S Opening) Sasha is a superstar at the EPA, about to take down a major oil company. No friends to celebrate with—only a friend with benefits.
· Essence: (D Opening) Billionaire Duncan supports climate science by day, obsessed with suspicious deaths from extreme climate events by night. No practical skills—must rely on others.
· (D-TP1) Duncan finds out his private investigator is betraying him to his sister, Delia.
· (S-TP1) Sasha learns the oil company is settling with the Department of Justice—thanks to her friend with benefits.
Act 2:
· (S Dilemma) Sasha has to decide whether to fight the settlement by proving that CEO Delia and her friend at DOJ are colluding.
· Essence: A furious Sasha tries to upend the settlement by accusing her “friend” and Delia, CEO of oil company of collusion. Can’t prove it.
· Essence: Duncan tries investigating incident from teaser on his own and he’s a disaster.
· (S-Midpoint) Delia has Sasha framed and fired.
· (D-Midpoint) Duncan tries to use contacts and money to gain access, and he’s arrested for interfering with an investigation.
Act 3:
· Essence: Sasha discovers she’s unemployable. Her dream of protecting the planet, for a living, is destroyed.
· Essence: Duncan, stymied in his mission, is plagued by nightmares of his dead teenaged daughter.
· (S-TP2) Sasha is forced to move in with her mother because she can’t afford rent. Their relationship is toxic and opens Sasha’s childhood wound.
· (D-TP2) Delia lets Duncan know she’ll compromise any investigator he tries to hire.
Act 4:
· Essence: Sasha is a mess when she discovers her “friend” is getting a promotion after colluding with Delia.
· (D-Dilemma) Duncan needs an investigator who will never betray him to his sister.
· Essence: Sasha hates Delia, so she fits the bill for Duncan. He approaches her about joining him in his work and at first, she’s thrilled.
· (S-Major Conflict) Sasha wants to assist Duncan with supporting climate science, not the job he’s offered: to track down creatures spawned by the build-up of greenhouse gases.
· (D-Major Conflict): Duncan is desperate to reverse climate change by killing the creatures, but he needs Sasha, who is backing away because she thinks he’s delusional.
· Turning Point: Sasha learns Duncan is delusional and declines the job.
· Turning Point: Duncan’s plan to enlist Sasha, and continue his dream of fighting these creatures, falls apart.
Act 5:
· (D ending) Duncan sweetens the deal, promising to fund an environmental foundation for Sasha after three years’ time.
· (S Ending) Sasha takes a leap of faith (a first) and signs on. Gets what she really wants: the chance, in three years, to fight climate change on her terms.
· Essence: Sasha bluffs her way into the investigation of the incident in the Teaser, has Duncan arrange for a special autopsy.
Lock-in: Sasha and Duncan discover that the bodies were cooked from the inside out and the inside of the house was slightly charred, but not the outside. The temperature had to have quickly risen to 200 degrees to kill those people as they ate dinner. That just doesn’t happen. Also, the outside of the busted door had an unidentifiable scorch mark, that Duncan believes was made by a creature. Where do they go from here?
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Module 3—Lesson 4
Mary J. Andrews’ Character Story Lines
===========================Rael Pointe=============================Beginning:
Rael Pointe (35) alone on the NEMESIS BRIDGE. Main screen on wall is covered in compu-screens featuring an assortment of Pleasure Planet ads for all kinds of entertainment venues while the open front blast window shows the city streets bustling with visitors beyond the landing bay fences. Rael’s temple plates are flickering while he takes everything in at the speed of thought. A communication from Planetary Retrieval office breaks through. And two agents appear on a new window.Without stopping or slowing down, Rael answers it. Two agents introduce themselves and request permission to deliver the Government’s disabled ambassador to them. Several more screens appear labeled to identify them as security checks and validations of the agents etc. He approves them to approach, all windows shut off and Nemesis softly touches down. Rael rises and sends a verbal Com as he heads for the door telling the crew company’s coming. His voice is broadcast ship-wide.
As Rael steps into the NEMESIS MAIN CORRIDOR, Laynald Lockheim (67) steps out of the Common Room, adjusting one of his dart sheaths. Laynald is not happy about the overly short notice security-wise.
From the END OF THE CORRIDOR, Ira Haze (early 20’s) exits his quarters. Rael sends him back to don his Wall Master Robes so Laynald won’t have to worry about security and to meet them at the ship exit. They leave him standing there alone.
Laynald and Rael meet the agents pushing the ambassador strapped on a gurney up the gang plank. Halfway up, the Ambassador begins to howl in pain. The agent nearest Rael pulls a weapon which Rael manages to repel before the attacker body-slams him off the ramp. Laynald dives after them as well and pegs the attacker in mid-flight.
Meanwhile, Ira arrives and while the second attacker tries to ram into him with the still hollering ambassador Dash’s gurney. Ira secures the gurney and incapacitates the attacker with a single word: pain. Laynald pegs the doubled over agent with a dart as well, though Ira had it under control. Laynald tells Ira to take ambassador to sickbay to shut him up then examines vehicle, while Rael sends for officials to deliver agents to Hive port asap. Rael puts up with lecture from Laynald but wonders why anyone would dare attack a Universal Government Team so blatantly and stupidly.
Act 1
Ira awakens in NEMESIS SICKBAY Laynald is there to chide him and everyone gathers at Nemesis COMMON ROOM to eat and make plans. Ira reports that the ambassador’s mind-jacker is herself being tortured and still linked to ambassador Dash. Rael debriefs them about target areas and what he’s found with compu-searches. They take off to retrace ambassador’s last sightings before being found outside the port gates.Turning Point:
While traveling the FESTIVE AND CROWDED STREETS, Rael is approached by a beautiful woman (Tristen). She entices him to follow him down streets through the crowd to THE PLEASURE PALACE, a block-wide establishment of some renown. He follows her through the main entrance, down a long curtained corridor and into a privacy booth…then Ira stands before him calling his name. Rael is confused. The woman stills calls to him but Ira and Laynald don’t see her. Ira manages to block the spell for a moment long enough for them to decide to follow him wherever she is leading.Ira releases Rael and he takes off like a bullet, leaving a directional chit she had given him earlier but they don’t need it. Laynald & Ira catch up with Rael as the slave girl is leading him downstairs through a hidden door in a privacy booth. They catch up with her several floors down. (Tristen) The slave girl is delivering Rael to an empty cell. Ira follows her in and punches Rael, breaking the spell more effectively. She falls to the floor from the backlash and Rael crashes into a wall.
Midpoint:
Laynald darts the slave girl to keep her unconscious and Rael is able to compu-link locally and find them a path out through the SLAVE QUARTERS. Surprisingly enough, nobody gets in their way or tries to stop them. In fact, the hallways are suspiciously empty and they make it all the way to the building’s docking area and disappear into the night with the mind-jacker over Laynald’s shoulder. ((as they leave, Mallory Switt, the establishment’s proprietor, steps out from the shadows watches them go, sadly wishing her luck.))Turning Point 2
They reach the NEMESIS and lift-off. Laynald and Ira take slave girl to sickbay and check examine her. Rael goes to BRIDGE and falls apart, no longer able to function, totally entranced by her until Laynald calls him to sickbay. While Laynald tells him what he’s learned about her so far, Rael is unable to function. Proximity to her alone is overwhelming. Ira tells him he will take care of the problem and they leave him alone with her until he calls them back.Major Conflict:
In NEMESIS SICKBAY, Ira resorts to the same methods he was trained to use from the same people who murdered his parents when he was a child. He rewrites the slave girl’s mind changing her reality to believe that Rael is now her master so that she will release Rael who will have her free the ambassador. She is now theirs to control and use against the terrorists—her previous masters. Ira is now what he hates most for a mission and his friend’s sake. Rael is immediately released when she realizes who he is. Rael is uncomfortable about becoming a slave owner but fears her abilities. He orders her confinement when not escorted and extends his authority over her to the others. She has no name from her previous master so he names her Tristen. Laynald finds the whole situation humorous. Rael does not. During his interrogation he tells her he wants to know where she came from. In a flash, they all relive flashes of her backstory in depth. Laynald is angered that she forced it upon them. Rael is exhausted. Ira is an empath, so…he is even more engaged. Tristen is shown to her quarters next to Ira’s she is given food and They break for the nightNext day, Rael has her free the ambassador after she shows exactly what happened to him. Turns out the terrorists were looking for information about Gov Agents, specifically Rael Pointe.
Tristen’s mind is scalded during her meld with Rael and Ira is sent to tend to her. He deletes her pain sets her to sleep then sits with her. He does not like her being locked up or what he’s done to her.
Ending:
From the NEMESIS BRIDGE, Rael receives an emergency call from Dark Ops Control informing him that his adopted mother is dying and is asking for him. He activates all systems and sets the ship on its way. Ira and Laynald head for the bridge: something is wrong.=========================Laynald Lockheim===========================
Beginning:
Laynald Lockheim (a smart 67) The crew is summoned to meet in the storage bay exit to officiate the return of Ambassador Dash who has been mind-jacked on PLEASURE PLANET TANIVOL. Laynald is not happy that Rael did not notify him earlier to help check security. At the NEMESIS BAY DOOR EXIT, Laynald and Rael proceed to meet with two Planetary agents wheel the Ambassador up the ramp. Unexpectedly, the ambassador begins to howl in pain and the agents attempt to attack them. Laynald dives off ramp and darts assailant 1 who knocks Rael off the ramp.Turning Point:
Laynald Finds Ira unconscious on sickbay floor. Laynald darts the Ambassador to shut him up and leaves him on the gurney then puts Ira on the examining table and waits. When Ira awakens they place the ambassador into a cryo-unit and join Rael in COMMONS for debriefing and food then the team leaves the ship follow leads Rael has researched. While traveling down TANIVOL CROWDED STREETS, Rael begins to behave strangely and Laynald & Ira decide to follow him to wherever the woman only Rael sees is taking him.Midpoint:
Laynald & Ira follow Rael through THE PLEASURE PALACE and manage to retrieve both the woman and Rael, but Laynald believes someone with too much power is toying with the team and he’s suspicious.Turning Point 2:
Aboard their ship, Laynald examines the unconscious slave girl with Ira onsite in case of trouble. Laynald calls Rael in and is obvious that Rael is no longer in control of himself. When Ira tells them he’ll make her release the captain, Laynald sets up some sonic disruptors in the sickbay in case Ira needs them and leaves to check in with Rael.Major Conflict:
fight scene at teaser; some inter character chiding/bickering, suspicion. Discussions, moral conflicts for all.Ending:
Laynald sees a bigger picture forming. He and Ira meet up in the CORRIDOR on the way to the bridge. They both foresee trouble.=============================Ira Haze=============================
BEGINNING
IRA (early 20’s) exits his quarters. Rael sends him back to don his Wall Master Robes so Laynald won’t have to worry about security and to meet them at the ship exit. They leave him standing there alone. Ira is incensed. Now he’s a joke to them too, not just an ignorant youngling like they’ve been calling him. He snags up the long stylized Wall Master robe, dons it, straightens it and shakes his head. A glance in the mirror shows his prismatic eyes glitter in the light. He pulls the hood over his head. Why do they not notice the fear his eyes inflict?He heads to join them. When he arrives at the bay exit, Rael and Laynald are on the ground next to an unconscious assailant. Ira grips the ambassador’s gurney and allows his hood to fall back. The assailant 2 freezes and swears. Ira speaks softly a single word: “Pain” and the man doubles over before Laynald renders him unconscious with a dart.
Again, Laynald has undermined his accomplishment and orders him to remove the ambassador because of his howls of pain—noise. Ira shakes his head and takes the ambassador to SICKBAY, pausing only to whisper for him to sleep…which he doesn’t. That’s unusual.
After reaching the sickbay, Ira removes the robe and gloves and attempts to mind-meld with ambassador Dash. Upon physical contact, they both freezes in place and Ira is barely able to pull away from the Ambassador. When Ira does, Ira falls to his knees and then collapses to the floor. The ambassador begins to howls in pain again. (END OF TEASER)ACT 1
Ira awakens in NEMESIS SICKBAY Laynald is there to chide him and everyone gathers at Nemesis COMMON ROOM to eat and make plans. Ira reports that the ambassador’s psi-jacker is herself being tortured and still linked to ambassador Dash. Ira believes the ambassador’s mind-jacker is a victim herself and can be turned to help them. He wants to rescue her as well as the ambassador.Turning Point:
While traveling the FESTIVE AND CROWDED STREETS, Rael is approached by a beautiful woman (Tristen). She entices him to follow him down streets through the crowd to THE PLEASURE PALACE. Ira & Laynald determine Rael is being mind-jacked, just like the ambassador was and they follow Rael.Midpoint:
Laynald & Ira follow Rael through THE PLEASURE PALACE l, They catch up with her several floors down. (Tristen) The slave girl is delivering Rael to an EMPTY CELL. Ira follows her in and punches Rael, breaking the spell more effectively. She falls to the floor from the backlash and Rael crashes into a wall.Major Conflict:
In NEMESIS SICKBAY, Ira resorts to the same methods he was trained to use from the same people who murdered his parents when he was a child. He rewrites the slave girl’s mind changing her reality to believe that Rael is now her master so that she will release Rael who will have her free the ambassador. She is now theirs to control and use against the terrorists—her previous masters. Ira is now what he hates most for a mission and his friend’s sake. Rael is immediately released when she realizes who he is.During his interrogation Rael tells her he wants to know where she came from. In a flash, they all relive flashes of her backstory in depth. Laynald is angered that she forced it upon them. Rael is exhausted. Ira is an empath, so…he is even more engaged. Tristen is shown to her quarters next to Ira’s she is given food and They break for the night
Next day, Rael has her free the ambassador after Ira and Tristen link to allow Rael to see exactly what happened to the ambassador. Turns out the terrorists were looking for information about Gov Agents, specifically Rael Pointe.
Tristen’s mind is scalded during her meld with Rael and Ira is sent to TRISTEN’S QUARTERS tend to her. He deletes her pain sets her to sleep then sits with her. He does not like her being locked up or what he’s done to her.
Ending
From the NEMESIS BRIDGE, Rael receives an emergency call from Dark Ops Control informing him that his adopted mother is dying and is asking for him. He activates all systems and sets the ship on its way. Ira and Laynald head for the bridge: something is wrong. -
Lesson 4
Subject: Marcus’ Character Story Lines
What I learned doing this assignment is the next step in outlining the pilot script. As we learned in module 1, each character has to have its own story and not just show up where needed in the overarching story line. This is how to merge character and main story, resulting in engaging and meaningful character development within the big picture.
C = Cassandra
T = Trabeus
B = Beatrix
M = Marius
Teaser:
· Essence: A montage of brief episodes from the past (beginning in the 12<sup>th</sup> century) moving toward the present. Cassandra and her coven start as young, beautiful and powerful, involved in battles, royal courts, boardrooms, etc. influencing outcomes with magic, as a team. Trabeus is frequently involved on the other side of things from them. They age slowly as time passes. By the early 1900s, they appear late middle aged, are not getting along too well with each other and aren’t anywhere as important as previously.
· Turning Point: Fade to the present, where Cassandra is elderly and alone. She uses magic in a grocery store to get an item from a top shelf she can’t reach. She does it poorly. A number of items fall to the floor. Something hits her head and she faints. An ambulance comes.
· C-b – Alone and going through the motions. She barely cares what happens.
Act 1:
Essence:
After an exhaustive battery of medical tests in the hospital, Cassandra’s
doctor informs her she has late-stage cancer and should already be dead.
Cassandra goes home and calls Beatrix to come diagnose her with magic. Beatrix
confirms the disease but can’t cure it magically.· C-tp – She discovers that she has a terminal uncurable illness.
· B-b – Happily working as a physicist for a government contractor.
· B-tp – Gets an urgent call from Cassandra to help her with a medical problem. She reluctantly uses magic on Cassandra for old times’ sake.
Turning
Point: During her magical examination, Beatrix also finds that Cassandra’s
weakening state has caused one of her old – yet still active – spells to
weaken. This spell’s purpose was to suppress the magical power of an old
enemy Trabeus. Cassandra believes Trabeus is fundamentally criminal and wants
to rule the world. Since the spell was cast, Trabeus was believed to have
died. Now Cassandra knows he’s alive somewhere. And the spell connects
them.· C-m – With Beatrix’s help she also discovers that she is connected to an old enemy. Now she has purpose. Find and kill Trabeus.
Act 2:
Essence: Trabeus
is a kindly old man, beloved in his neighborhood. He’s also in witness protection.
His case officer complains about his association with a suspected
criminal, Marius. Trabeus asks to leave the program, despite the dangerous
criminals that are hunting him.· T-b –Works his plan to protect his neighborhood by working for the local gangster with the intent of ruining the gang from the inside.
· T-tp – His case officer for witness protection, not knowing about the gangsters, orders him to stop associating with Marius. A heated exchange ensues.
· T-m – Trabeus leaves the witness protection program.
<div>
M-b – A
morose individual, Marius is Trabeus’ steward and driver. Trabeus ignores
Marius’ unhappiness.
M-tp – Trabeus
does not consult Marius about quitting witsec. Marius fears the people
that are hunting for him and Trabeus, who he and Trabeus ratted on to get
into witsec to begin with. Trabeus won’t discuss it with Marius.
Turning
Point: Trabeus and Marius are called to meet with a local gang leader they
do independent jobs for. Trabeus is working from the inside to protect his
neighborhood from the gangster and plans to take him out when the time is
right. The job assignment is to find and get information from a rival gang
member. Unbeknownst to anyone but Marius, Trabeus is magical. He casts a
location spell to find the rival gangster.
</div><div></div>
Act 3:
Essence: The old
spell that Cassandra used on Trabeus connects them and it might be used to
locate Trabeus if another spell is cast in conjunction with it. Cassandra desperately
wants to kill him before she dies. She does her locating spell wrong, inadvertently
causing Trabeus’ locating spell to go wrong, which then leads him to the
wrong man.· C-tp2 – Cassandra can’t locate Trabeus magically and she’s no good with the internet. Trabeus lives in witness protection, making it almost impossible to find him.
<div>
Turning
Point/Midpoint: With Marius’ help, Trabeus tortures and murders an
innocent man because of Cassandra’s botched spell.
</div><div></div>
Act 4:
Essence:
Trabeus kills the wrong guy. His gangster boss is furious about his
failure.· C-mc – Cassandra orders Beatrix to find Trabeus for her. Beatrix argues against renewing an ancient conflict. She doubts that Trabeus is capable of conquering the world. She and Cassandra fight about it. She reluctantly agrees to help, but has her own agenda.
T-tp2 –
Trabeus murders the wrong guy. He realizes that Cassandra is to blame, that
she knows he’s alive, and that she will start hunting him. reports his
failure to the gang leader and the gang leader threatens Trabeus that he
has one more chance and better get it right this time, stat.· T-mc –Trabeus’ plan to destroy the gang includes replacing the current leader with someone more pliable. Trabeus accelerates his plan to groom this one.
· M-m – Marius sees Trabeus’ magic improving greatly as Cassandra’s spell on him weakens. Marius, nervous about it, secretly meets with the gang leader to discuss joining the gang, where he will feel safer and appreciated.
· B-m – Cassandra asks Beatrix to find Trabeus on the internet without magic.
Turning
Point: Trabeus reveals to Marius that he had once loved Beatrix. He
eagerly wants to find her before Cassandra finds him. Plus, he knows she
will help him. But Trabeus can’t try to magically connect with Beatrix
without alerting Cassandra to his whereabouts. So, he orders Marius to lay
some clues for Beatrix on the internet – something Trabeus is not capable
of doing.· M-tp2 – Trabeus enlists Marius’ help to find Beatrix and to keep Cassandra away. Marius starts to see some possibilities for getting free of Trabeus’ rule.
· M-mc – During the interrogation of the wrong guy, Marius repeatedly implores Trabeus to let the guy go. Marius senses that he’s innocent and knows nothing. Trabeus ignores Marius, as usual. Trabeus, whose magic is getting stronger and stronger puts a spell on top of the one Marius uses which kills the guy. Marius is quietly furious.
Act 5:
Essence: Beatrix,
knowing that Trabeus isn’t dead, searches for her old love online. Cassandra
senses the atrocity Trabeus has committed and tells Beatrix. That gives
Beatrix the first clue to finding Trabeus (the atrocity made local news). Marius
plants clues to help Beatrix find him. Cassandra wants her to find Trabeus
and she wants to find Trabeus, but for different reasons.· B-mc – Now knowing that Trabeus still alive, Beatrix wants to find him, but does not want Cassandra to know where he is. She is torn between loyalty to Cassandra and love for Trabeus.
· C-e –Reinvigorated and purposeful, Cassandra seeks an old enemy to do one last great deed – kill him. She knows she must reunite her coven for the fight.
B-e – Searching
for Trabeus online, she starts finding clues that she determines are being
planted for her. She starts searching for whomever is laying these clues.
Turning
Point: Marius is clever with the clues he feeds to Beatrix on the internet.
Beatrix lies to Cassandra about her progress seeking Trabeus. Trabeus must
find a way to defend himself against Cassandra, who he knows will come for
him. Trabeus is forced to accelerate his plans to kill the gang leader. He
is promptly replaced by someone worse who has latent magical abilities
he’s as yet unaware of.
T-e – With
his magical strength steadily coming back he’s able to surreptitiously
magically murder the gang leader. He is not strong enough to put into
power the person he’d hoped to replace the other gang leader with.
M-e – Marius
decides to betray Trabeus by leading Beatrix to himself and then holding
her hostage for his freedom. -
Marie’s Character Story Lines
What I learned doing this assignment is to create or recreate a character story line in 5 minutes and it’s not their actual story line, it’s only for the pilot and I learned to create a 3-act structure in their story to draw the audience deeper into their lives.
ACT 1
ESSENCE: (Skyler opening) Skyler is a Guardian Angels who guides and protects Rose (13), a gentle Cyber prodigy. She is so bright and fast and he is dyslexic, with ADD, slow learner and has a traumatic memory that created a fear of flying. Fortunately, his mentor Merrill supports him (Merrill’s opening) and he keeps up with a continuous training at the School of Angels.
(Rose Opening) Rose is proud to be a prodigy and sees herself becoming a Nobel Prize but she is a teenager, and she dates online. Oddly, she is after older men who could be her father.
The whole family (single mother and 2 smaller sibblings) accompany Rose to another part of the country. She has been selected to be part of a training program in the Cyber Security Government Agency.
TURNING POINT: But suddenly, Rose is disconnected from Skyler’s celestial guidance.
ACT 2
ESSENCE: The Fallen Angels and their ambitious Master are responsible for the disconnection. It’s part of a bigger plan to disconnect all humans from celestial guidance.
Merrill and the archangels at the School of Angels are aware of the situation: all Guardian Angels assigned to Prodigies reported being disconnected except Skyler.
They are aware of an imminent attack on the School itself. Merrill is worried about Skyler. The Master must no approach him. Why did he not report the disconnection?
Skyler questions his own ability as he has a traumatic memory about a boy diving from a cliff and killing himself. He thinks it was his previous assignment and he failed it. He cannot fail Rose!!
Angels don’t have memories of earth. Why him?
He questions his origins as well as his ability to be a good Guardian Angel.
Rose gets her period, her hormones are kicking and she turns into a horrible teenager, slamming doors and running away overdressed or underdressed.
She wishes her father would know about her. Her single mother refuses to tell her who he is and seems frightened when she swears she will find him. She says he doesn’t even know about her. The men she is pretending to date are actually old friends of her mum who potentially could be her father.
Skyler tracks them and can watch them to make sure they will not harm Rose.
Skyler who cannot anymore whisper to her ears, protects her by using the power of energy and the power of attraction to move things and people around her and prevent her from getting hurt.
His training at School is intense and useful. Skyler can be at school and on earth at the same time.
But when Rose falls madly in love with the younger trainee at the Cyber Security Government Agency, despite his total lack of interest in her, she is so overwhelmed that she makes several mistakes and loses the trust of her instructer.
(Rose’s TP) Until one day, she is suspected of leaking information.
(Skyler’s TP) Skyler is upset he failed to guide her better. He blames his ADD.
ACT 3
Rose is angry because of Logan and the team’s rejection and decides to turn her talents to the dark web.
Skyler gives up. Skyler finds learning Cyber too difficult.
Whatever he does, he’s bad at it. What the point of fighting?
And Rose is now hacking, ransoming and he doesn’t prevent her from having her crypto money stolen.
It happens just when Rose is trying to recover her stolen money and is accused by a Cyber Lord to work for the Police. She is tracked and killed before Skyler can stop it from happening.
Turning Point (Skyler TP): Skyler breaks the rules to save Rose. He uses magic and time travelling (he had been practicing at School but totally forbidden to use on earth) and he prevents Rose to be killed!!!
ACT 4
Merrill discovers that a group of 18-year old students has been watching Skyler.
She confronts their teacher. She is Skyler’s mentor!!! She should have been informed. The teacher didn’t know about it.
The class at school has witnessed what he did. The Archangel must know about it!
Skyler is expecting to be expelled and sent for eternity to watch the ramparts of the world of Angels, but on the contrary, he is invited to meet the archangel.
The archangel reveals that Skyler is actually very special. He is the Godson of the Angel Leader who has been killed 13 years ago when he was only a baby.
He received a legacy from his Godfather and there is a prediction that he is the one who will save the world of angels from an attack from the dark forces. But this legacy is a gift, he can only access if he empowers himself.
The archangel had him hidden on earth for 13 years and that’s why he was new at the school of Angels when all the others had grown up together. That’s why he always felt different.
Skyler shares his discovery with Merrill and his best friend Charlie.
Turning Point (Skyler TP) – Skyler decides to fight and prove he can be up to the task.
Merrill prepares him to fight the Master of the Fallen Angels
ACT 5
Rose is hired by the Crime Lord who had attempted to kill her but his memory had been erased. Rose learns how to hack big companies.
She also finds one of her presumed fathers, a fat pharmacist she just watches from far away.
Charlie, Skyler’s School friend is attacked by 3 Fallen Angels. After the attacks, he looks the same but his mind has been over taken by dark forces. He has become a Fallen Angel and he is Skyler’s little shadow.
Skyler and Merrill notice a change in Charlie’s behavior. They become suspicious and notice one of his fingers is always folded.
Skyler and Merrill noticed the same folded finger in many of the students at school.
They establish a list of names of presumed Fallen Angels for the Archangel.
Skyler wants to run and hide and asks Merrill to take over the assignment of Rose but he realizes that time of running and hiding is over, he must fight.
Turning Point: He is attacked by 3 Fallen Angels. Is he now a Fallen Angel too?
-
What I learned: How to sort out what happens with each character within the structure of the pilot episode.
Teaser
Essence: Joshua’s part of a big experiment that’s goes wrong
Turning point: The lab blows up.
Leila—Beginning: Has visitors from other realities
Leila—Turning Point: Finds out that the experiment could be dangerous for Joshua
Lab blows up
Act 1
Essence: Joshua is bored and disgruntled and turns down covering the experiment.
Turning point: He agrees to observe the experiment because it seems to be exciting and important.
Joshua—Beginning: Bored, almost defeated
Joshua—Turning Point: Agrees to cover the experiment
Salva—Beginning: Bitter about the past; overconfident about the experiment
Act 2
Essence: The buildup to the experiment; hints that it could be dangerous—in different ways.
Turning point: After the explosion, Joshua’s in a different dimension
Joshua—Midpoint: The particle accelerator explodes, sending him into another reality
Salva—Turning Point: Joshua tells her about Leila’s fears
Salva—Midpoint: The particle accelerator blows up; she dies in the baseline
Leila— Midpoint: The particle accelerator blows up, confirming her fears
Act 3
Essence: Joshua discovers he’s in a different world, tries to negotiate it.
Turning point: The experiment has been delayed and will be run the next week.
Joshua—Major Dilemma: Accept his new reality or try to get back to the baseline
Leila—Turning Point 2: Gets a visitor who tells her where Joshua and the others are; investigator questions her.
Leila—Major Dilemma: Should she work with investigators?
Leila—Major Conflict: She doesn’t trust Henna or the investigators
Salva—Turning Point 2: Learns she’s dead in the baseline and can’t go back
Salva—Major Dilemma: The Third Agent tells her (O.S.) that Joshua knows the wavelength, so maybe she wants him to live—but maybe in another reality, she knows the wavelength, so she might know the wavelength there (but it appears that the experiment only has or ever will be performed in the baseline, so it doesn’t matter to her if she gets credit for it) (Who would she tell this to? Or would Leila know?)
Act 4
Essence: Spies introduce Joshua to what a big deal the result of the experiment is.
Turning point: Car bomb.
Joshua—Turning Point 2: He’s pursued by spies
Salva—Major Conflict: Whether to let Joshua live
Act 5
Essence: Joshua discovers that Salva is trying to kill him
Turning Point: Joshua’s car explodes; he sees Salva running off
Joshua—Major Conflict: Followed by spies. Salva is trying to kill him.
Joshua—Ending: He has to survive and get back to the baseline
Salva—Ending: Decides Joshua needs to die,
Leila—Ending: Has become Joshua’s only contact in the baseline.
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Diana’s Character Story Lines
What I learned: It was interesting to see how each character has their own story line. It helps me to separate the action for each character to see how everyone reacts to the same situation.
2. Create a beginning, middle, and end of the character’s story for the pilot.
Jake: Naïve husband, concerned husband, enraged husband. Goes on to medical conference, comes home to find it empty and family gone, being questioned by the cops for posession of child pornography.
Lupe: Devoted wife, manipulative wife, deceitful wife. Encourage Jake to go to conference; dismesses hurricane threat. While he is gone, she cleans out his accounts. Has Marco plant the porn on Jake’s computer.
3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters for the Pilot.
Beginning: Having breakfast with
family.
Turning Point: Decides to go to
conference.
Midpoint: At conference learns
hurricane hit.
Turning Point 2: Tries calling
wife, but calls go to voicemail, raising his concern.
Major Conflict: Wife and kids are
gone. Are they OK?
Ending: Being questioned by the
cops for possession of child porn
(Dilemma is optional.)Lupe
Beginning: Encourages husband to go
to converence.
Turning Point: Plans to vacate
house with Jake’s money.
Midpoint: Leaves with family
Turning Point 2: Changes
appearance; receives new identities for family.
Major Conflict: Resting at hotel
out of state when they find out they are “missing” on TV Ending: Arrive in
Mexico to launder stolen money.
(Dilemma is optional.)Act 2: Jake leaves for conference. Lupe orchestrates escape.
Act 3: Hurricane hits. Jake concerned. Lupe rushes everyone out of house as Marco plants child porn on Jake’s computer and Dolores packs santeria shit calmly while everyone is rushing to get out.
Act 4: Lupe and family leave. Lupe doesn’t pick up when Jake calls.
Act 5: Lupe in hotel with kids and Dolores. Changes appearance. Has new identify. Jake comes home to open house.
Lock in/Turning Point: Lupe on TV with photo. Jake being questioned by cops for possession of child porn.
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