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Day 4 Assignments
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June Fortunato’s subtext scene. Day 4 Designing scenes with subtext. For Retirement. What I learned: This is an extremely fun assignment. I am slightly worried it’s too much description.
BACKGROUND
Roy, dressed in his “courtroom” suit, is camped out on an unused balcony above the Garden Ballroom at the Bellevue hotel. Below, an extravagant event wraps up. Carving stations, a huge central round table of roasted veggies, dips, antipasto and desserts remain. And several bars. Open wine bottles grace tables where the doctors sat. All of this awaits Roy as soon as the pesky doctors thin out. Meanwhile, Kim, has snagged an elegant bedroom suite at the Bellevue and that’s where she’s camped out. But she follows the hotel events listings, and now, dressed in a suit ‘borrowed’ from the theatre, is there for the same reason as Roy. To enjoy the gourmet food and drink. Roy and Kim haven’t seen each other since Roy rescued her from her brother at the hospital. On their first meeting, Roy and Kim were instantly attracted to each other.
The band packs up, and few doctors linger. Now’s the chance. Roy looks over the balcony one more time. A familiar woman, KIM! saunters in. OMG, she’s playing the same game. Who wouldn’t love this woman? Roy rushes down the unused staircase and calms himself as he enters. He greets a few of the departing doctors.
Doctor.
Doctor.
No wiseass remarks now- Roy is hell bent to connect with KIm.
Kim is already there, making small talk with the band as she heaps as much shrimp, dessert, antipasto as possible onto her plate. Kim plays into their stereotypes of women as part of this game. She says things like: You know how women are. I couldn’t stop talking. I was so engaged that I forgot to eat. Anyway, women don’t really eat in front of unfamiliar men.
Roy takes finds a place on the opposite side of the round table. Kim’s chatting, and carrying on and hasn’t seen Roy yet. An annoyed waiter wants this event to end. Kim asks for wine. Roy, opposite, and also loading a plate, asks for a beer.
Their eyes connect. She laughs.
He’s thrilled.
They have to play it cool.
The meaning of the subtext? They’re not supposed to be there.
The cover up– they pretend to be doctors and have to act that way to each other- even though they recognize each other and want to greet each other.
The cover up is for the real doctors, waiters and band. And the catering manager.
When will the meaning be revealed? When Roy’s BS doctor talk is completely off-center and the drunken doctor who’s pursuing Kim, notices.
How? Roy, in pursuit of Kim, spouts to make her laugh.
The waiters know something IS OFF.
Roy slides around the table toward Kim- but Kim is intercepted by a semi-drunk doctor who finds her attractive and is getting too close to Kim. That doctor obviously wants to finish the night with Kim. In his room.
MISINTERPRETATION. The doctor is willing to buy Kim’s doctor fraud for a fun night. But she says she brought her husband, and beckons to Roy. COVER UP.
COMPETITIVE AGENDAS. Roy and the Doc compete for Kim. Kim has to navigate the situation slickly. The waiters want them all to go. The band watches amused.
THE SCENE
INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – 19TH FLOOR – GARDEN ROOM – LATE NIGHT
Glorious antipasti and open wine bottles remain on a central table for the few doctors who linger. Roy sneaks a peek over the balcony and his heart pounds. Kim is below! She saunters into the ballroom to play the same game. Who wouldn’t love this woman??? Roy rushes down and composes himself at the entrance. He passes a group of doctors as they leave.
ROY Doc-TOR.
DOC 1 Doctor.
ROY Gotcha covered.
DOC 2 Good night.
ROY Adios.
DOC 3 Night.
ROY See you on the flip side.
Kim, at the antipasti table, heaps as many shrimp, veggies and desserts onto her plate as possible. Kim plays into the expected female stereotype to a nearby doctor.
KIM (pretend fawning) You know how women are. I was so engaged that I forgot to eat!
Roy takes a plate on the opposite side of the table. A waiter tries to remove a platter full of food but Roy gives him his empty plate and takes the platter.
WAITER Sir, this event ended.
ROY Fantabulous. Slipped in like a knife on a bone.
Kim looks up and spots Roy! She laughs. To the waiter.
KIM Could I have a glass of burgundy?
ROY And I’d like a beer.
This fries the waiter. He goes to get the drinks. A drunk doctor moves in on Kim.
DRUNK DOCTOR Why don’t I buy you wine in the bar and we can get to know each other?
The doc tries to help her carry her plate but she wrestles it back. She’s surprisingly strong. The flirting disturbs Roy. Roy moves in.
ROY Oh, Doctor, doctor Kim! How co-inki dinky. I didn’t think we’d meet at this confab!
To the drunk doctor.
ROY We know each other.
KIM We were in med school together.
ROY In OH HIGH O.
Kim moves toward the door and snags a bottle of wine on the way out. Roy follows.
ROY I’m tired, myself. Too much bone talk.
He grabs several bottles of wine as they flee. The waiter returns with Kim & Roy’s drinks and sees them exit.
INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – 19TH FLOOR – GARDEN ROOM LOBBY & STAIRCASE
Roy leads Kim to his secret door and they narrowly escape the sight of hotel staff. They have to be really, really quiet! They suppress giggles as they climb. A pantomime. She’s impressed. They eat quietly, staring at each other. Finally, when the ballroom goes dark and all is quiet, Kim signals Roy to follow her. Kim leads Roy to her suite.
INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – SUITE – LATER
They sneak in and burst out laughing, pull out their hidden wine bottles and sprawl out onto the couches.
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Matthew Frendo’s Subtext Scene
WHAT I LEARNED: I learned more about what subtext is and how to create it in a scene. This will help scripts be felt by an audience and get them committed to the journey.
BACKGROUND: At this point, things have gone wrong for the Host. His first plot against Alicia failed and the audience turned on him for her. They are still not on his side and it looks like everything he worked for could be in jeopardy.
1. What is the meaning of the subtext? He has a hidden plan to win that no one knows about.
2. What is the cover-up? The cover up is something is off, because he doesn’t seemed stressed at all, which he should be.
3. When will the meaning be revealed? Before, during, or after? After. Near the end of the script.
4. How will the meaning be revealed? She will be in the final battle, when he will reveal his “insurance policy” – a chip in her head that disorients all her senses and gives the monster attacking her a huge advantage.SCENE DESIGN: Something is off.
INT. BACKSTAGE – NIGHT
Bullet walks backstage to find the Host whistling happily, as he gets a small plate of food off of the lavish display.
BULLET
You seem…happy.
The Host gives him a big grin.
HOST
Good food, good drinks and the last night in this miserable hellhole. What’s not to be happy about?
Bullet glances at the stage and then back at the Host.
BULLET
Have you been watching what’s going on?
HOST
Of course. I was there.
BULLET
You may not have a job after this, man. Let alone move up–
The Host giggles.
HOST
Oh, Bullet, what I would give for your childlike innocence.
BULLET
Ain’t nothing about me childlike.
HOST
You should get some food. Relax.
Bullet lowers his voice.
BULLET
Hey man, I’m trying to look out for you here. The audience almost revolted back there, your monsters aren’t killing anything and I’ve overheard those motherfuckers say that they won’t promote you if you can’t fix it. And you’re back here eating fucking brie and salmon?
The Host smiles.
HOST
You’ve known me a long time now, Bullet. How would you describe me?
Bullet shrugs, looking away.
HOST
It’s okay. You can be honest.
BULLET
You’re a slimy, devious, dirtbag motherfucker.
The Host laughs loud.
BULLET
I mean, you got some good sides too–
The Host shakes his head.
HOST
No, no I don’t. But that’s okay. Just think about this–
He gets up close to Bullet, right in his face.
HOST
Why would a slimy, devious, dirtbag motherfucker be happy in this situation?
Bullet thinks for a minute, then looks back at him.
BULLET
What do you got up your sleeve?
The Host cackles again, then starts to walk back to the stage.
HOST
Make sure you watch the show. Things are going to get interesting.
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DAY 4 Designing Scenes for Subtext
Lisa’s Subtext Scene
What I learned is subtext is the backbone that holds the story together.
ASSIGNMENT:
1. First, tell us any background we may need to know.Santa has just been kidnapped at the North Pole.
2. Answer the basic subtext questions about the scene.
1. What is the meaning of the subtext? Dash and Donna are seen as doofuses by their co-workers.
2. What is the cover-up? It is obvious that they’re going to screw it up.
3. When will the meaning be revealed? Before, during, or after? During this scene and after they get to the North Pole and try to interrogate the elves and Mrs. Claus.
4. How will the meaning be revealed? Their co-workers tease and razz them.3. Pick one or more of the scene designs for subtext.
No one wants to tell the person
Competitive agendasSCENE from “Mary’s Wonderful Christmas”
INT-NORAD CONTROL ROOM-DAY
This is the control room of the secret NORAD Santa Headquarters outside of Washington D.C. There is a huge screen, like for a mission to Mars. Some of the people in the room are in military uniforms. The signal is stationary at the North Pole because it’s only December 23<sup>rd</sup> as the giant countdown clock in the front of the room indicates. The headquarters is busy preparing for Santa to be on the move the following night. MR. BLITZ, the 57-year-old Indian man in charge who is pacing around with the stance of a military man, looking at screens and talking to workers.
DONNA
(shrieking) The signal is moving! Where is he going?
DONNA is 37 years old, short, and rotund, is confident despite her size and yet makes a lot of mistakes. She’s wearing a Santa hat.
DASH
He has to prepare the sleigh first!
DASH is 35 years old, thin, and tall, who is very confident but not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Dash is wearing elf ears.
The phone rings. Glances are exchanged as Mr. Blitz picks up.
BLITZ
NORAD. (pauses to listen) Yes, Mrs. Claus, we have the signal. (listens) Yes, Ma’am. We’re on the way. We will stay in touch. Thank you, Mrs. Claus, goodbye.
Blitz hangs up and looks around at the group.
BLITZ
Listen up, everyone! Santa was kidnapped.
DASH presses a button, and a piercing alarm goes off.
BLITZ
Turn it off! Turn it off!!
DASH turns off the alarm.
BLITZ
(to Dash)
We know, it’s an emergency.
BLITZ
Tim, can you and Matteo take this one?
MATTEO is a 30-year-old Latino who wears glasses and is an engineer.
MATTEO
No, we’re working on the elf project, remember?
Mr. Blitz shakes his head. Dash and Donna are literally standing in front of him when he continues looking around the room for someone to send.
BLITZ
Millie.
MILLIE
Yes, sir.
MILLIE, a brainiac Black woman of 25-years.
BLITZ
Are you available to go?
MILLIE
Uh…well, no sir. I can’t go. I’m having surgery tomorrow.
BLITZ
(letting out a big sigh) Oh.
Dash and Donna are practically in his face now.
BLITZ
Dash, Donna…
DASH and DONNA
(in unison)
Yes, sir!!
BLITZ
I suppose you two are available for this assignment.
DASH and DONNA
(in unison)
Yes, sir!!
BLITZ
Stop doing that! Looks like you’re the team.
Chuckles are heard throughout the room.
BLITZ
Now listen to me, you are to tenderly talk to the elves and Mrs. Claus, then follow the leads. Report back to me as soon as you arrive.
Blitz starts to walk away. Turns around.
BLITZ
And leave those damn hats here!
DASH and DONNA
(smiling widely)
Yes, sir!!
Blitz gives them a stare. Dash and Donna remove their hats.
BLITZ
See Tim for a briefing and your gear, then get out of here.
Dash and Don look at each other.
DASH
(quietly smiling) Yes, sir.
DONNA
(quietly smiling) Yes, sir.
Dash and Donna turn into each other and do a little dance to get around each other, then run over to Tim who leads them to his desk.
Dash and Donna put their heads together as they go.
DASH
(whispering with delight) We’re going to the North Pole!
DONNA
We’re going to see the wee elves!!
TIM
(rolling his eyes) Come on, you two.
As they pass Millie’s desk…
MILLIE
Don’t mess it up.
DASH
Jealous. (turns to Millie and sticks his tongue out)
Dash runs into a desk and grabs his knee. Donna motions for him to come on.
FADE OUT
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Cameron Martin’s Subtext Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is…Well, first is that I still have to go back and fix my outline. I’m not even sure the scene I wrote will be included in the next iteration of said outline. However, if it helps me to get better at writing a scene for subtext, then…
So, aside from the temporary feeling this scene has, it does provide an opportunity to practice and discover more ways to add conflict and tension to a scene. Behind the already present, surface level conflict, the underlying subtextual conflict and trying to keep it hidden adds a hell of a lot of “edge of your seat” intrigue to a scene. Can’t wait to reassess my outline and look for more opportunities to have scenes like this one.
Also, I’ve been reading the script for IT, and comparing the 2014 and 2016 versions of the script. It’s a fascinating exercise to see how a functional and pretty decent script gets elevated in the subsequent draft by shifting some scenes around and adding subtext to other areas. I do think the the 2016 version was less scary than the 2014 version, but had a stronger plot line, better dialogue, and more cohesive rules for the titular monster. Another thing I noticed was the elimination of certain locations and changes to the blocking in certain scenes, and I imagine these changes were brought about due to either budget or preferences with the director. Still haven’t seen the movie, and I’m sure there’re still changes between the 2016 script and the final 2017 product. Point is is that I’m finding reading earlier versions of produced films to be an encouraging exercise in detaching yourself from the text, and instead focusing on the concept as a guiding light.
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What is the meaning of the subtext?
Sully’s cover is blown, and the man who found out is trying to kill him.
2. What is the cover up?
A plot against another person.
3. When will the meaning be revealed? Before, during or after?
Before, when Manager (Nigel) finds out that he’s been spied on.
4. How will the meaning be revealed?
When Nigel tries to kill Sully in a trap
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Scene Design: A plot against another person
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INT. SULLY’S APARTMENT – SULLY’S ROOM – NIGHT
NIGEL sneaks through a tidy room, the kind that makes you think of someone who’s a little OCD.
Something his employee told him has him spooked.
His hand searches for a light in the adjacent bathroom…
Fingers stroke the switch…
CLICK. A COLLAGE OF PICTURES blanket every square inch of the bathroom – walls, mirrors, countertops, parts of the floor.
As soon as the light revealed the lives of every citizen…
CLICK. Nigel backs away for a moment, back to the unassuming room. What the hell was that?
He gathers himself and…
CLICK. This time, he leaves the light on. Sixty seconds. Sixty seconds then get the hell out, before Sully comes back.
Nigel pervades the room. A voyeur’s perspective into the private lives of everyone, damning actions caught on camera, and something worse…
Evidence – Photos of Nigel making contributions and meeting with certain unknowns. A red halo over one of the pictures of him and the words “Sympathizer” are like a bolt of lightning over the man.
THE FRONT DOOR OPENS —
CLICK.
Nigel makes for the living room…
SULLY meets him. Face to face.
SULLY
Boss?
NIGEL
Ibuprofen.
SULLY
What?
NIGEL
Ibuprofen. I have a headache.
SULLY
Find any in my bathroom?
He knows! Or does he?
NIGEL
No. I, uh, didn’t make it there.
Worst. Lie. Ever.
SULLY
Ah. Well, come on. I’ll show you where they are.
Sully almost pushes Nigel back into his bedroom…
And closes the door behind him.
Nigel’s eyes dart around the room looking for…ANYTHING! Anything to fight back with.
SULLY
(heading for the bathroom)
If you don’t mind, I like to keep the door closed.
NIGEL
(sidestepping toward the lamp)
Oh yeah. Keeps the air locked in?
CLICK. Sully enters the bathroom, back turned to Nigel…
Who’s hand picks up the cordless lamp.
SULLY
(Unconcerned about the pictures surrounding him in broad view)
You got it.
Sully reaches under the sink cabinet, past the medicine…
For the charge cable.
Nigel, right behind him, lifts the lamp.
NIGEL
You always did know too much.
Nigel SWINGS!
Sully DODGES…
Rises to his feet…
And grabs Nigel’s throat.
He can’t breathe as Sully pushes him back from the door frame…
In a flash, too fast to react, Nigel finds himself at the mercy of a single leg takedown – his feet flying high.
The charge cord wraps around his neck like a starving snake, before Sully wraps the other end around the leg of his bed frame.
Nigel struggles for precious, precious air. His face bloating as he watches his employee kneel next to him.
Sully goes and locks the door. As soon as he does.
The handle jiggles.
JUDE (O.S.)
Sully? Nigel?
SULLY
Just providing some privacy for Nigel, Dr. Douglas. You understand.
JUDE (O.S.)
Since when are you the type to worry about privacy?
SULLY
Trust me, Jude. I need to make sure of something. Especially with those things still out.
Jude clutches her chest, aware of the eggs nuzzled at the bottom of her lungs. She takes a puff of her inhaler, desperate to keep the ticking clock at bay.
JUDE (O.S.)
Well, we certainly don’t want any more…infiltrations.
Sully kneels next to Nigel, whose face is beginning to turn a certain shade of red. He breathes like he’s trying to suck air through a straw.
SULLY
(whispering)
You’re right. I know too much. And that makes me the bad guy. But…
Sully begins to untie the cord.
SULLY
If you help me save my son, and do what I tell you to do, I can the good guy, just for you.
The cord slacks on Nigel’s throat. All at once a deep inhalation breaks from incessant coughing.
SULLY
Are we clear, boss?
Nigel cradles his neck, a red line still branding the skin. He gives a nod, making a deal with his very own angel of death.
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Dev Ross – Designing Scenes with Subtext
What I learned is that by approaching a scene with the specific goal of adding subtext, it immediately forces me to consider writing the intended scene with a very different POV.
EXT. STREAM – DAY – FLASHBACK
COVER UP is that Clay is half-black. This won’t be revealed until the end he and Lincoln see each other’s face in the reflection.
In the scene, CLAY will misinterpret his Grandpa’s meaning. He will think it means he’s chosen, special. The Dramatic Irony is that Clay is really black. Grandpa does not want to tell him this nor wants Clay to ever know.
CLAY (7) and his GRANDPA (60’s) fly-fish in a stream swiftly flowing stream. Grandpa casts his line as smoothly as he convinces others of hate.
Young Clay positively beams up at the older man.
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD CLAY
That was a good cast, Grandpa.
GRANDPA
‘Good’ takes practice. Now you try.
Clay casts. It’s not as good – but almost.
GRANDPA
You pick stuff up real fast considering.
That’s a big word for this seven-year old…
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD CLAY
Considering what, Grandpa?
Oops. Grandpa reels his line in a bit, locks it, tries to shrug off his comment.
GRANDPA
Circumstances, that’s all.
Oops, another big word…
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD CLAY
What’s… cir-cum-stances?
It looks like he’s not going to be shrugging this off, so he chooses his words carefully…
GRANDPA
Well, it’s something – if you let it – that makes someone like you not equal to someone like me.
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD CLAY
But I want to be like you.
GRANDPA
I know, and that’s good. But in the future, you may feel those ‘circumstances’ fighting inside you to get out.
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD CLAY
I don’t understand, Grandpa, what ‘s gonna try and get out?
GRANDPA
I can’t tell you that. It’s something, that as a man, you’ll have to face on your own. But, to face it, you’ll have to be strong.
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD CLAY
But I’m strong already, Grandpa. See?
He flexes his skinny biceps like a winning prize fighter.
Grandpa feels them, chuckles.
GRANDPA
Yes, you are. You stay that way so you can fight what’s inside you when the day comes.
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD CLAY
I will fight it, Grandpa, cuz I’m a White Knight like you!
That rips at the old man’s heart – because he knows the boy’s ‘circumstances’ make them very different.
GRANDPA
Good. Because soon, our time will rise again.
With a grin as big as Texas…
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD CLAY
And in Jesus’ name, let it be so!
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Day 4: Subtext – Anita’s Subtext Scene
What I learned from this exercise: What goes unsaid can be as meaningful as what is said.
1. First, tell us any background we may need to know.
This scene is in Act One – right after Danica tells her Evangelical sister she is getting an abortion; and just before Danica is at the clinic – where she ultimately decides against an abortion.
2. Answer the basic subtext questions about the scene.
1. What is the meaning of the subtext? Danica was raised with the same religious background as her sister Rebecca, who has taken the path to an extreme, while Dani has left her religious roots behind.
2. What is the cover-up? Rebecca is unable / unwilling to reveal to her Bible study friends what Dani is planning, but still wants prayer for her. ALSO: It is Rebecca who really needs the prayer for her own kidney disease, but doesn’t ask for it.
3. When will the meaning be revealed? Before, during, or after? During (for Rebecca) and After (for Danica).
4. How will the meaning be revealed? Rebecca’s pain becomes evident. And then, in the next scene, when Dani’s conscience weighs on her (helped by a religious choir singing ‘Amazing Grace’ outside the clinic.
3. Pick one or more of the scene designs for subtext.
B. Dramatic Irony
INT. REBECCA’S LIVING ROOM – EVENING
Rebecca is hosting a women’s prayer group. There are SEVEN OTHER CHURCH LADIES helping to arrange chairs in a circle for the meeting as they chat.
Rebecca is in the adjoining kitchen arranging platters of snacks. She leans on the counter with one hand while rubbing her back with another as CHURCH LADY ONE comes in with another covered dish.
REBECCA
Thanks Claire, just set it anywhere.
CHURCH LADY ONE
Becky honey – are you okay?
REBECCA
Oh sure. Just been running after the kids all day. You know how it is.
CHURCH LADY ONE (placated)
Boy and howdy, don’t I? Jimmy lost another tooth today and then he literally lost it! You’d think it was the end of the world – drama, drama, drama!
The two of them join the rest of the group already seated in the living room, Bibles in their laps.
CHURCH LADY TWO
Here we are. Well, let’s turn to our two verses for tonight’s lesson – Psalms 139 and 51.
The women obediently settle down and thumb through their page-worn Bibles to the two requested verses.
CHURCH LADY TWO
Becky, would you please read for us tonight?
REBECCA (looking a bit shaky)
Psalm 139: “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
(beat)
Psalm 51: “Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.”
CHURCH LADY TWO
Now let’s discuss how both these things can be true –
INT. REBECCA’S LIVING ROOM – LATER
The group has just finished up with their study and close their Bibles.
Becky winces as she moves in her chair.
CHURCH LADY TWO
Okay. Thank you ladies. Now it’s time for prayer requests and then we can indulge in all those delicious snacks Sister Rebecca has set out for us.
CHURCH LADY ONE (jumps right in)
Well, my little Suzy has another ear ache – fifth time this year!
CHURCH LADY THREE (very pregnant)
I wish I could indulge tonight, but the doctor tells me I have gestational diabetes now. So yes – please keep me in your prayers!
Murmurs of commiseration all around.
Long pause.
CHURCH LADY TWO
Anyone else?
REBECCA
Most of you know my sister Danica. She’s facing a very difficult decision – and well, I just want to ask God to guide her and grant her wisdom and clarity.
ALL
Amen
CHURCH LADY TWO
Let us pray –
They bow their heads in unison –
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Alice’s Subtext Scene
What I learned from this assignment is
I do have subtext, but it must yet be dramatized with emotion
1. First, tell us any background we may need to know.
Civil Officer from Public Police made connection to THANAKH, scientist who’s working at RI strives to uncover mystery behind missing cases.
After this Thanakh accidentally suspects Antagonist, and gets into trap also.
2. Answer the basic subtext questions about the scene.
1. What is the meaning of the subtext?
Meaning is “hidden party” is removing those who might play the role in adversary’s exposure.
2. What is the cover-up?
Competitive Agendas. Someone from ORGANIZATION is seduced by Antagonist, believing her invention is a weapon, and wish to cover her crimes.
3. When will the meaning be revealed? Before, during, or after?
Before, when they receive phone call with warning not to do much about this case of people missed on the ground of Research Institute.
4. How will the meaning be revealed?
Also when they call again at the office.
3. Pick one or more of the scene designs for subtext.
F. Competitive agendas
4.
EXT. BACK STREET – EARLY EVENING
On this back street with brick wall stands lonely phone booth. In it that officer who cares for Thanakh. He dials number. Line gets connected.
OFFICER
Scientist doesn’t answer!
Have said that, he drops the call and heads right out of the booth, pulling collar to cheekbones, to hide his Identity.
As he moves away, a couple of shots go his way from unclear direction. He leans along the wall. Black vehicle with dark windows moves. He’s fired down.
INT. SECRET SERVICE OFFICE – EARLY EVENING
Civil officer drops phone on receiver. Phone rings again. He picks it up.
UNDEFINED VOICE (O.S.)
Your associate was arrested.
CIVIL OFFICER
For what reason?
UNDEFINED VOICE (O.S.)
For too big interest in that case!
Line disconnects. Officer gets stunned and considers a phone for a while.
Summons, gets into outwear, an exits office via back door.
EXT. OUTSIDE OF SECRET SERVICE OFFICE – EARLY EVENING
Top officer gets out, considers cars nearby, walks down, and is shot down from behind a corner.
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What I learned from this assignment. Actually, I found it quite challenging and wrote this brand new scene which really added punch, and underlined the previous scene; The Gathering.
OLD BUFFALO HOSPITAL
BACKGROUND
Sarah has barely arrived at her new posting at a job in the Yukon bush. She is immediately thrown into a chaotic mess of drug deals, teenagers committing suicide, and a corrupt doctor. A couple of days into her new life in the surrounding aboriginal community, she is invited to a clandestine meeting where a group of locals plotting to take down the corrupt doctor.
Sarah has been introduced to the people in attendance. A plan has been hatched. Sarah wants to help and do things the right way, the legal way. However, she is exhausted from the trip and excuses herself from the friendly gathering.
Subtext No one wants to tell the person.
INT. BONNIE AND ABE’S FARMHOUSE CONTD./NIGHT
ROSE
I just knew it. She’s not going to be any use to us.
CODY
Hold on a minute, didn’t you say she went seven rounds of rocks at the sweat lodge? She’s a strong girl, just tired, give her a chance Rose.
ROSE (SUBTEXT, Rose resents Sarah as Rose has a crush on Cody and Cody fancies Sarah)
Cody, just watch yourself with Sarah. She’s not going to be interested in you. What does she know about our culture, or what it’s like to deal with drugs and killings, our kids getting into trouble? Don’t think with your dick eh Cody?
MANYRIVERS
She took charge of the emergency with Al’s son today. She seems alright to me. She just drove over 1000 kilometers to get here with her kid. I think she has guts.
BONNIE
SUBTEXT Bonnie does not want to say to the group or tell Sarah that she will not make it. Bonnie senses that Sarah’s confidence is a mask, that underneath there is fragility, a cover up.
Well, I think she has her own reasons for being here, that has nothing to do with us. Confidential if you know what I mean. All you people who come up here are either adventurers, escaping something, or seeking a quick, big paycheck. We don’t have much choice, she is here now. Anyway, she was pretty confident and caring at the hospital today, and she took on that creep Suleman and told him where she stood. So I say, give her the benefit of the doubt. Let’s hope she doesn’t let us down.
WINSTON
SUBTEXT Winston is hiding his stint in prison. Secretly hopes that the digging-up of Sarah’s stuff does not extend to him. Cover up
WINSTON
No doubt we all have something private in our past, whatever it is, it’s going to be hard on her, up here in the bush for sure. Give her a chance I say. Let’s see what the city girl is made of.
When will Sarah’s capacity to cope be revealed? When the challenge is issued to act on the plan and she is invited to take part.
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KATE’S SUBTEXT SCENE.
What I learned from this assignment is that I tend to write like that and this scene I wrote for a different lesson with a little juggling fit this bill too! I am eager to try it more and use it more consciously for new scenes as they are written.
BACKGROUND
The locals, with Nia and the acting troupe have set up and executed a huge sting/con operation to get the land from Darrogh that he was going to use for a giant landfill. This is right at the end of film when it is revealed to him what has happened during a specially written and presented ‘play’ performance.
1. What is the meaning of the subtext?
Darrogh has completely mis-calculated the local people and his daughter.
2. What is the cover-up?
A special play is out on, Darrogh arrives thinking this event is to honor him and the landfill and that Nia will now be bound to him for good.
3. When will the meaning be revealed? Before, during, or after?
It is revealed to Darrogh 2/3s through the scene
4. How will the meaning be revealed?
the ‘play’ they do lays bare the sting to Darrogh – and Nia has a lead role in it
(NOTE: There is a final little scene when Nia further reveals directly to Darrogh that she knows what he did to her mother.)
DRAMATIC IRONY
THE SCENE
EXT.THE FIELD ELSEWHERE.
Darrogh is getting out of his Mercedes, parked way too close to the stage in spite of the designated parking signs. He is greeted by some of the local people (also in on the entire con and play.)
IAN
Mr. Magrath. Glad you could come.
DARROGH
It is my party, right? Wouldn’t miss it for anything. I hear there’s even a special play for me!
IAN
Indeed! Very special.
DARROGH
I bet my daughter had something to do with it, not that she’s saying. Quiet little thing but she loves her Father.
MRS SHIEL
And we love Nia. She’s a joy. You must be very proud of her.
DARROGH
We’re very close. She’s a bit soft never be a businesswoman. No real killer instinct. But that’s alright, I have enough for both of us and now I have this land? And will have the largest working landfill In The World? Well, she’ll be sticking close to her Daddy!
IAN
Daughters!
DARROGH
You got a daughter?
IAN
Oh yes – 3. The eldest helped put together that land deal. I hear you’re quite the businessman
DARROGH
I drive a hard bargain, and I always get my way.
MRS SHIEL
I’m sure you do Mr Macgrath.
DARROGH
Call me Darrogh. Now let’s go get this party started, eh?
Darrogh moves off as Ian, Mrs. Sheil and a few others follow.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Have not written this middle piece of this giant act of irony. The performance part of the party is shown with snippets of speeches, music and then the special play is announced.
Suffice to say, Sarah sings ‘Cabaret’ followed by a scene adapted from The Sting mixed with King Lear. During it the location, the land use and even some of the characters (including the Latina Mayor Lucianna) are acted out right to the final ‘meeting’ with Darrogh/Lear and the sting itself.
Darrogh is increasingly uncomfortable, shifting in his seat and looking around.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
EXT. STAGE UNDER LIGHTS – LATER EVENING
At the very end of the ‘play’ the cast standing on stage addressing Darrogh directly. Sarah sings ‘He Had It Coming’ from ‘Chicago’, with some new words.
Darrogh leaps out of his seat.
DARROGH
What does this mean? Are saying that was me? I don’t get taken. I’m a highly successful businessman. I always win!
IAN
Wait a moment Sir, there’s one more scene.
The document he signed is brought on to the stage by Min and she hands it to the Mayor, Lucianna.
MIN
Madam Mayor, the deeds to the land holdings here. All of them. The small farms, the big ranches – and your family land – this very hillside we are on now – all returned to the community.
DARROGH
No! That can’t be! I invested in a landfill! That’s where I put my money. Not a bunch of decrepit farms.
MIN
In your hurry to make the biggest deal you could, before someone else did, you signed this. It’s all legal. You don’t have any say in what actually happens here. And there are no guaranteed profit margins. You simply assumed that I, being Chinese, would want to make as much money as – well, you do.
DARROGH
I invested everything I have into this. You told me..
MIN
I didn’t say anything. You made up the story you wanted to hear.
LUCIANNA
You could not believe that a small nowhere town with a Latina female Mayor knew anything about money, so you didn’t take the time to check us out.
Darrogh sits down stunned.
DARROGH
How could this happen?
SHAUNN
Thy ambition,
Thou scarlet sin, robb’d this
bewailing land.
MICHAEL
Henry V111 – Shakespeare. And now one more scene from Mr. Shakespeare’s cannon.
He steps aside and Nia takes the stage. She is the image of Mother, dressed in a long gown that was hers and for a moment Darrogh sees only Amahla on the stage.
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PS81 – Dana’s Subtext Scene
What I learned from this assignment:
It took me some time, after struggling with a few other scenes, but I decided to rewrite the opening scene of my script. I learned my scene was misinterpretation. Ellen and her patient are talking at cross purposes about two different things.
Background
Ellen is counseling her patient, which lays the foundation for the remainder of the script.
What is the meaning of the subtext?
Ellen believes she is discussing her patient’s personal relationship, but he’s discussing the separate identities within him.
What is the cover-up?
Misinterpretation. Ellen has misinterpreted her patient’s real condition.
When will the meaning be revealed?
The meaning is revealed at the end of the scene.
How will the meaning be revealed?
Ellen’s patient shoots himself. He’s been discussing committing suicide.
SCENE:
FADE IN:
TOTAL BLACK
WOMAN (V.O.)
So, tell me what’s going on?
MAN (V.O.)
The normal things. You know… life…
INT. OFFICE – DAY
DR. ELLEN LANDRY sits comfortably in her therapist’s chair, surrounded by the obscure shadows of an office.
She’s a petite, winsome woman, mid-thirties, and if not for her Saks Fifth Avenue power suit and raven hair whisking her shoulders, she’d be sprinkling fairy dust over Disneyland.
ELLEN
The last time you were here, you spoke about a new person in your life. How’s that working out?
MAN (O.S.)
It’s… evolving.
ELLEN
Evolving?
MAN (O.S.)
Is that the wrong word?
ELLEN
There are no wrong words in therapy. I simply found it intriguing.
MAN (O.S.)
Maybe it’s the wrong emotion.
ELLEN
What’s the right emotion?
A reflective SIGH.
MAN (O.S.)
Minimized.
ELLEN
In what way?
MAN (O.S.)
I feel very ignored. My opinions are no longer valued. I don’t make many decisions. I feel like I’m losing me.
ELLEN
You have a right to your own voice. Have you expressed your concerns to your partner?
MAN (O.S.)
He doesn’t care how I feel, if he even knows. He spends most of his time with the others.
ELLEN
The others? Are there other people involved in your relationship?
MAN (O.S.)
My life is very crowded.
ELLEN
How many people are we talking about?
MAN (O.S.)
Four. Five. More. It’s hard to keep track. He pursues a new alternative whenever he gets depressed.
ELLEN
Are you and your partner involved in a polyamorous relationship?
MAN (O.S.)
Polyamorous. What an elegant way of describing them.
(beat)
To be honest, I haven’t actually met them. He keeps them away from me. But I know they’re there. Call it… split intuition.
(condescending)
It’s analogous to mathematics.
ELLEN
This doesn’t seem like a healthy situation for you to be in. You’re not happy. Maybe it’s time for you to separate from your partner and the others.
MAN (O.S.)
It’s not that simple. I can’t just leave. They’d win.
Her eyes flinch with curiosity.
ELLEN
Win? Win what?
MAN (O.S.)
Everything. And I can’t let that happen. I won’t. Not after they’ve disrespected me. I won’t be abandon to the darkness. Not again.
ELLEN
I’m sorry, you’ve lost me. What do you mean by darkness?
MAN (O.S.)
Do you know how it feels to be forsaken? To be thrown into the abyss? To hear them crow from the shadows, beyond reach, whispering, conspiring to hold you down?
Troubled fascination, but Ellen allows him to vent.
MAN (O.S.) (CONT’D)
I used to be admired. Respected. I used to have a voice. But now —
(bitter)
— all I have is contempt. And I won’t let them send me back. Not to that hell. I won’t just vanish.
ELLEN
I don’t understand. Who’s sending you where?
MAN (O.S.)
It’s not for you to understand. It’s for them to understand.
(beat)
If not me, than no-one.
ON ELLEN – CLOSE
Her eyes go wild, but before she can react — BANG! A small caliber gun FIRES. Her patient TUMBLES to the floor.
She’s in frozen shock.
A door BURSTS open. A woman GASPS. We HEAR people flocking into the office. VOICES: “Oh, my God” “Call the cops” “Ellen? Ellen? Are you hurt? Ellen?”
FADE TO BLACK:
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Day 4 – Designing Scenes For Subtext – Assignment
Mike O – Subtext Scene
What I learned from this assignment is the importance of the process in furthering both the plot and character arc on a level that resonates with attendant meanings.
Assignment: Write a scene that is mostly subtext.
1. First, tell us any background we may need to know.
2. Answer the basic subtext questions about the scene.
1. What is the meaning of the subtext?
Meaning of the subtext that Brooklyn takes all forms of art serious. The fact Tarek does not see his photographs as ‘art’ or as being ‘important’ On a deeper level, it reflects his take on art as a viable profession.
2. What is the cover-up?
The cover-up is one of dramatic irony. Tarek does not know that Brooklyn is about to be highly compensated for her talent or that she has just been paid a LOT of money for her art as Carolyn’s gallery showing.
3. When will the meaning be revealed? Before, during, or after?
The meaning is revealed in the middle. From that point on, we know that Brooklyn is feeling Tarek out regarding art and its worth. calling. The subtext continues because Brooklyn does not let Tarek know what she is being paid or what she was paid for her ‘art.’
4. How will the meaning be revealed? During Brooklyn’s exchange with Tarek, she hints at what art generate besides beauty. It is later revealed to Tarek when he speaks with Carolyn, Brooklyn’s manager and personal friend, and she informs him how much money Brooklyn’s work is now worth.
————————————————————————————
3. Pick one or more of the scene designs for subtext. I will use Dramatic Irony
A. Misinterpretation
B. Dramatic Irony
C. Something is off
D. No one wants to tell the person
E. A plot against another person
F. Competitive agendas—————————————————————————-
4. Provide the answers to the first three questions above, then write the actual scene.
The Scene: Brooklyn runs into Tarek at a café, she tells him she came across a couple of his photos in the gallery and didn’t know he was their client. He downplays it, she gets angry at his attitude toward art and by extension artists.
BROOKLYN “I didn’t know you were an artist. Imagine my surprise when I discovered your work in the gallery.”
TAREK “Oh, that’s Richard’s idea. He’s quite a guy. We got to talking one day and he asked to see my work. He had me blow them up and get them framed.”
BROOKLYN “So, you’re one of his clients?”
TAREK “Client? No, no, no, I’m no one’s client. I didn’t sign any papers. (uneasy) Richard wanted to hang a few of my photos on the wall. If they sold, great. I have a couple at the local bank, one with Ruby, and one in my dentist’s office.
BROOKLYN (offended) “Really?! ‘If they sold, great?!’ You sound like my mother.”
Tarek is stunned by her outburst.
TAREK “They’re just photographs.”
BROOKLYN “It’s just ‘art,’ right. Not a real profession. Like selling Mary Kay, a hobby at best. Art generates more than just beauty and it takes guts to create from your passion.”
TAREK “Listen, I’m sure you’re a great artist. I’m not, I just take pictures. (looks over at his sons) Excuse me, I believe the waitress is ready to take our order.”
He walks off.
BROOKLYN (miffed) “Her name is Jainey and she makes jewelry.”
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