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Day 4 Assignments
Reply to post your assignments.
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13 Replies
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Rob’s 10 Most Interesting Things
A1. Most unique about Villain:
– Corrupt Banker who raped Hero (Molly) 17 years ago
A2. Most unique about Heroine:
– An uneducated widowed farmer’s wife stands her ground in a man’s world and takes on corrupt and ruthless men, while battling nature and drought, to protect her family and save her farm.
B. Major Hook of opening scene:
– Molly leads a COOP of California farmers against large corporations, but gets shot in the stomach.
C. Any turning points?
– Henry dies in a grain silo accident
– Molly pushes back the corrupt banker – demands extension on paying mortgage
– Willie is kidnapped, beat up, then released
– A mob enforcer is killed with a pitchfork
– The weather turns into the giant Dust Bowls of 1930s
D. Emotional Dilemma?
– After death of husband/farmer, does she take children and move back East or stay and fight to survive in the Great Plains. She choses the latter.
E. Major Twists: Setup/Twist
– SETUP: Molly, Adam, and others suggest that the mob to be killed. The mob enforcer is killed with a pitchfork. TWIST: The new schoolmarm, young innocent mother of child with Polio, is seen holding a bloody pitchfork
– SETUP: The banker raped Molly years ago, TWIST: now wants sex in exchange for extending the mortgage
– SETUP: The banker declares those farmers behind in their bills as scum, TWIST: yet the banker is deep in debt to the mob.
– SETUP: Adam works the farm, threatens the banker when he tries to foreclose. TWIST: Adam conspires with banker against Molly and family. Betrayal
– SETUP: Henry accidently dies in grain silo accident. TWIST: Molly believes foul play
F. Reversals: Setup/Reversal
– SETUP: Henry accidently dies in grain silo accident. REVERSAL: Molly & Sheriff believe foul play
– SETUP: Fisher family working hard to harvest wheat. REVERSAL: A huge dust storm that devastated other counties approaches.
G. Character betrayals?
– Adam works the farm, threatens the banker when he tries to foreclose. But then Adam conspires with banker against Molly and family. Betrayal
H. Or any big surprises? Setup/Surprise
– – Adam works the farm, threatens the banker when he tries to foreclose. But then Adam conspires with banker against Molly and family. Betrayal
The 10 Most Interesting Things
1. An uneducated widowed farmer’s wife stands her ground in a man’s world and takes on corrupt and ruthless men, while battling nature and drought, to protect her family and save her farm.
2. Five years from now, Molly leads a COOP of California farmers against large corporations, but gets shot in the stomach.
3. The mob enforcer is killed with a pitchfork. The new schoolmarm, young innocent mother of child with Polio, is seen holding a bloody pitchfork
4. The banker raped Molly years ago, now wants sex in exchange for extending the mortgage
5. The banker declares those farmers behind in their bills as scum, yet the banker is deep in debt to the mob.
6. Henry accidently dies in grain silo accident. Molly & Sheriff believe foul play.
7. Fisher family working hard to harvest wheat. A huge dust storm that devastated other counties approaches.
8. Adam works the farm, threatens the banker when he tries to foreclose. But then Adam conspires with banker against Molly and family. Betrayal
9. The Chicago Mob and the New York Bankers conspire independently against town farmers (Molly and others)
10. Adam is drawn to up and coming Nazi propaganda
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John Stimson’s 10 Most Interesting Things
4. What I learned doing this assignment is to think about talking about this story from a different point of view than I usually have when presenting it.
3. 1-There’s this political powerbroker who uses his private jet for his office.
2-And a federal grand jury is convened in the courthouse in Seattle prepared to hand down a criminal indictment against him.
3-Well, he has this charismatic, handsome, and respected engineering professor at the University of Washington on retainer to “take care of problems” for him.
4-The professor designs and places a sophisticated bomb in city bus and parks it outside the federal courthouse where it explodes
5-And destroys the 23-story building, killing almost everyone inside
6-including the wife and son of a Seattle police officer, who were there on a grammar school field trip.
7-The Feds come in and investigate the crimes. And, the professor, as brilliant as he is, is a sociopath, so he decides to lead the cops in a game of cat and mouse—they being the mouse.
8-Specifically, the cop whose family was killed. He’s willing to deliver a ransom demand because it could present him the opportunity to enact vengeance or justice—he’s undecided.
9-The charming professor is not above using his lover to deliver a bomb to the feds and become a victim herself when it is meant to explodes and kill them.
10-Like the great conspiracy movies “The Parallax View” and “The Days of The Condor” it has a twist ending.
1. A-Unlike most villains, the audience is envious of this one; the hero is a highly=skilled marksman.
B-Is this guy really a villain?
C-Hero decides to deliver ransom.
D-Hero cop dealing with the death of his family as direct action of villain, is hero seeking revenge or justice?
E-The reason for blowing-up the federal courthouse was for the villain’s benefactor.
F-Villain evades law enforcement gets to safety but turns back around to go back and engage.
G-Villain’s lover realizes that she was used to deliver bomb and be killed in the process.
H-A surprise ending.
2. There are several strong roles for actresses and great roles for character actors; the location is Seattle and the Pacific Northwest; and, it’s a political thriller like a Tom Clancy novel (which have been successful movie franchises) also it’s in the vein like the great films “The Parallax View,” “The Conversation,” and “Three Days of The Condor.”
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Melanie’s 10 Most Interesting Things
1. Blake’s (protagonist) rash decisions destroy her life but lead her to the truth.
2. Derrick (villain) is in love with Blake, but when he secretly avenges her father’s death, he discovers a darker side of himself that takes over.
3. In the opening, a best-selling author is killed in the same manner as the protagonist in his latest book.
4. When Blake’s husband suddenly disappears, she realizes that was how her last chapter ended. Her words are coming true – and someone is stalking her!
5. Her sister called her husband’s cell phone the day he went missing. She’s the one person Blake thought she could trust but is she the reason for his disappearance?
6. When Blake comes back to her sister for help after losing her house, she finds Derrick has moved in. Although we don’t know it at the time, she has fallen right into the villain’s web.
7. Even though her husband is part of the group of grifters responsible for destroying her life, it’s revealed that he truly loves her. He ends up taking a bullet for her and saves her life.
8. The film is self-contained with a limited cast and few locations.
9. The concept is unique and fast-paced with all of the unlikely pieces coming together at the end.
10. Tagline – Nothing sells like a dead author.
What I learned in this assignment is that stepping away from the script and finding the interesting things about your story really helps you to see it differently. As a writer we get so engrossed in the story line – it’s helpful to step back and see the project as an audience member. By finding the interesting things, it feels like we are actually describing what would be in the trailer.
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Mary Emmick’s 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned doing this assignment is when pitching to a producer or manager include 10 most interesting things. Don’t make it a book report. Make it interesting like you are telling a friend about a great movie you just saw!
Ten Most Interesting Things
· The title, Don’t Look Away, Isabel is based on a song Isabel composes, Look Away, about how people just look away from injustice. The words “Don’t Look Away, Isabel” occur several times throughout the film. The film opens with colorful hot air balloons floating in the blue skies above the town of Walla Walla in spring over vineyards, wheat fields, the rugged Blue Mountains and the historic town. When I was visiting Walla Walla a few years ago I thought the scene from a distance was magical. The last scene ties in the hot air balloons and romance as Victor and Isabel are floating in a colorful hot air balloon and looking out at the beautiful view. Victor stands behind Isabel and says to her, “Don’t look away, Isabel.” She turns around and they kiss.
· The first action scene opens with maid of honor Isabel helping her sister Marjorie Zuccotti get ready for her wedding. When Marjorie asks for her for the glass of red wine, Isabel trips and the red wine splashes all over her sister’s white wedding gown. After a botched attempt at concealing the stain her sister sends her out to check who has arrived in the church. Isabel peeks into the church. She sees her parents and many relatives and family friends. Walking up the aisle she spots the groom’s father, Senator Ted Cramer. He has brought a date, Sally Jo Wilson. She wears a sparkly white mini suit with a plunging neckline and sports white six-inch heels. On her ebony bouffant hairstyle that features a white streak (Cruella meets a skunk look) rests a white pillbox hat with netting that resembles a bridal veil. The church music stops. All gawk as they take their seats.
· The reception is held at Rolling Hills Winery. Isabel’s fiancé Tyler Cramer, is the best man for his brother Nathan. Tyler and Isabel have been childhood sweethearts. Tyler is rude to staff worker Victor Sanchez berating him for his service and purposely bumping him. Isabel sees this but looks away. The evening ends with Tyler drinking too much and throwing up in the bushes. The groom Nathan is drinking too much and falls into the swimming pool pulling Marjorie in with him.
· We meet Isabel’s parents Tom Zuccotti, a wheat farmer and Debby. They are proud their daughter is marrying into the prominent Cramer family. Both parents refuse to get vaccinated or wear masks. Most evenings they watch conservative television news. Tom visits the Grange Farm Supply and buys Ivermectin which he believes will prevent him from getting COVID. Debby gets COVID and has to be in the hospital for three weeks.
· Tyler invites Isabel to go to a drag race with him where he races his red Camaro. He is bummed when he looks up at the bleachers and Isabel is more interested in her history book. He flirts with buxom blond Tiffany who is there with her boyfriend. Tiffany is the receptionist at his dad’s senate office. On the way home Tyler speeds and is pulled over for the violation and because he is Senator Cramer’s son is let off without penalty.
· Isabel does some volunteer letter writing and correspondence for Ted Cramer’s upcoming state senate re-election campaign. She goes to his office to bring the paperwork and opens the door to fine Tyler and Tiffany kissing. She tells him they’re through and storms out.
· Isabel’s history teacher Mrs. Amy Meyers is teaching a lesson on Civil Rights. Isabel glances up at a poster with a quote by Margaret Mead that says………
She makes friends with a black girl in her class named Jackie McCutcheon who invites her to her home for a book group where they are discussing Caste by Isabel Wilkerson.
· At a town council meeting that Isabel attends with her dad as part of a community involvement project for her history class, Ted Cramer refuses to wear a mask. Council member Maria Gonzalez insists he wear a mask as the governor has mandated mask wearing indoors. He makes a scene and refuses. Maria Gonzalez ends the meeting and it will be resumed the following evening on Zoom. After the meeting Isabel approaches Maria and compliments her on being firm with Sen. Cramer. She asks if she can volunteer with her campaign for state senate. Maria invites her to a town hall meeting where she will be speaking on farm worker rights. At the town council meeting Isabel meets Victor Sanchez who remembers her and the exchanges he had with her fiancé Tyler from the reception at Rolling Hills Winery. She tells him she is not dating him any longer. Victor is the son of Ray Sanchez, the owner of Rolling Hills Winery. Victor is finishing his last year of wine entology and viticulture studies and plans to work at the family winery. He volunteers with Maria Gonzalez’ campaign and invites Isabel to join him canvassing. She agrees. When campaigning they approach several homes. At an apartment they knock on the door and Tiffany opens it. Surprised Isabel starts talking about Maria Gonzalez and in walks Tyler who puts his arm around Tiffany. An uncomfortable encounter ensues.
· There is a fire on Zuccotti family wheat farm. All of the other local fire trucks are in use putting out nearby fires. Isabel calls Victor and he rounds up local water trucks. Tom insists they put out the fire engulfing his shed. Isabel with Victor’s support takes a gamble by grabbing the keys to the tractor with the disker attached and drives out to the burning fields and makes a fire line which stops the fire from spreading and saves the farm. Isabel is a hero.
· Because Victor turned in Tyler and Nathan Cramer for stealing a Maria Gonzalez’s campaign sign, they police have proof it was them stealing her signs all over town. To get back at them Senator Ted Cramer calls the sheriff about undocumented farm workers on the Sanchez farm. ICE is sent out and they punch and arrest Victor accusing him of being undocumented because he doesn’t have papers to show them. They take him to the Immigration Detention Center.
· Tyler shows up at Isabel’s house and wants to get back with her. He brings her chocolates and flowers. She throws them on the ground. He slaps her face. She falls to the ground. He tells her, “The wedding is on!” and walks back to his car. Her father hears the thud and comes out and helps her up.
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Laura Hyler’s 10 Most Interesting Things Lesson 4 5/24/22
What I learned doing this assignment is that although I would not change my logline based on this exercise, it does help to see the overall picture and how some elements in my story fit into the big picture.
B. The major hook of my opening scene is that Naomi, a widow’s, ex-boyfriend shows up at her door to use her phone because he got a flat tire. She goes to help him, and sees another woman in the car (break up is only a week old). Words are exchanged.
D. Emotional dilemma- both Naomi and her new love interest have to learn how to cope with racism, both in the outside world and their inner world.
E. Many twists in my story-friends betray both Naomi and her boyfriend. Another man is interested in Naomi and another woman is interested in Kofi. The other man (Tommy is a racist and he becomes Naomi’s boss when she is overlooked for promotion by her boss because she is dating Kofi).
Kofi’s best friend and his wife leave Naomi out of their wedding for two reasons- Isaac (Kofi’s friend) remembers when another white woman dumped Kofi because she could not handle the racism they encountered. Isaac’s wife- Cherie leaves Naomi out because she’s trying to fix her best friend up with Kofi and doesn’t believe whites and blacks should be together.
There’s a fire that forces Kofi to move in with Naomi. They have a fight due to the fact that he was left out of the invitation to her sister’s wedding, but he doesn’t tell her that she was left out of an invitation to his friend’s wedding. He moves out.
Naomi cannot reach him for two weeks. In the interim, his employer forgets to file paperwork to keep his HB-1 visa active. He’s about to be deported.
Naomi is trying to prevent the deportation and goes to bat for Kofi. When she has to get the papers signed by her employer, her new boss, Tommy tries to assault her in his office.
Naomi misses Kofi’s plane. Then she hears a voice, and it’s Kofi.
H. Big surprise- when it looks like all is lost, the deportation was halted. Naomi and Kofi get back together. Family and friends apologize and they get married at the end.
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Lenore Bechtel’s 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned from this assignment was the necessity of seeing a scene from the audience’s point of view.
Meredith is bored and frowning as she and the jubilant Citrus singers rush backstage after a well-received performance, and Meredith, Marilou, Gran, and Ashley unzip their costumes to change to their Dapper Doll quartet costumes.
On stage when the Dapper Dolls sing “So shine on, shine on harvest moon,” Meredith takes a big step forward, and sings, “For my own majority” and the tenor, baritone, and bass are flustered trying to harmonize with original lyrics, co-authored by Meredith and Quincy, her boyfriend.
During a passionate kiss and after offending Meredith by trying to get too sexual, Quincy puts a small diamond ring on her left ring finger, but when he seems to think being engaged makes pre-marital sex okay, Meredith gives the ring back to him.
Citrus singers share condescending comments as tenors audition to replace Ashley, who dropped out of the Dapper Dolls because of Meredith’s unpredictability.
Meredith is with Kelly at her father’s musical instrument store when Quincy comes in with Sexy Squaw to pick up drums for a drum circle. After introductions, Meredith flees, but Quincy doesn’t follow her. She’s devastated!
Meredith drops out of Dapper Dolls and forms her own quartet.
Marilou slaps at Meredith, but hits Jack, who steps in front of her.
Meredith returns to Dapper Dolls after learning a singer can sing in two quartets at Gulf Regional.
When judges change the rule about singing in two quartets, Maryjane puts on Meredith’s costume and sings lead for the Dapper Dolls. She’s wearing performance shoes and supplies the giant safety pins to hold the gap in the back together.
Girls ages 12 to 25 rush on stage after Meredith’s quartet sings her original “Biblical Brushoff.”
Quincy proposes to Meredith by singing backstage in front of many onlookers. His lyrics promises he too will honor her chastity vow.
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Bob Bland… 10 MOST INTERESTING THINGS…
What I learned doing this assignment…
The importance of identifying the primary things of interest in a script when preparing to pitch it to a producer.
(NOTE: Things that could interest a producer are listed, but the 10 most interesting things are underlined.)
—Most unique about the villain and hero: Frank, a traumatized former army medic, is a budding artist. Jin is a surgeon. Tam, having escaped from Vietnam and once Frank’s fiancé is now a college graduate, and wants to become a doctor and work in a family clinic.
—Major hook of your opening scene: A quiet rural village outdoor market turns tense as the ACK-ACK of artillery fire grows closer.
—Any turning points: A. Frank, having discovered that Tam is alive, decides to return to the breadline to see her. B. Despite knowing Tam is engaged, Frank nevertheless finds out there is still hope for their relationship. C. After Tam cuts and washes his hair, Frank learns she is afraid to continue the relationship and leaves in disappointment. D. Potter agrees to have an exhibit for Frank’s art, validating his worth as an artist.
—Emotional dilemma: A. Frank sees Tam’s village blow up and is torn to return to find her or continue on to a combat medic mission. B. Frank, thinking Tam was dead, is shocked to spot her handing out sandwiches at a breadline and runs away, afraid and embarrassed to approach her. C. Frank approaches Tam in the breadline, but embarrassed turns his head away from her. D. Though accepting Jin’s proposal, Tam is conflicted about her decision. E. Although Tam encourages Frank to do his artwork, he declares he wants more. She pleads for time to sort out her true feelings, either to stay with Jin or reunite with Frank. F. Jin chides Tam about allowing Frank to be around the market and her role in their pending marriage, forcing her to reconsider their relationship. G. Although becoming more intimate with Frank when she cuts and washes his hair, Tam still feels Jin can be relied upon.
—Major twists: A. On the beach, waking up hungover, Frank is intrigued to see a Vietnamese woman spreading flowers on the water and decides to follow her. B. Frank, in a bread line, discovers the woman handing out sandwiches is Tam, his fiancé from Vietnam whom he thought was dead. C. Frank, believing his desire to reunite with Tam is all but impossible, finds a drawing she kept from Vietnam and is encouraged. D. Having been rejected by Potter at the gallery, Frank concludes his art career is useless.
—Reversals: A. Frank, thinking he and Tam are reestablishing their prior relationship, discovers Tam has a boyfriend. B. After the wedding announcement, Frank discovers that Tam has kept the drawing he started in Vietnam and, despite all, concludes there is still hope for the relationship. C. Hoping Tam accompanies him to the art gallery, Jin drives up and whisks Tam away, leaving Frank to fend for himself. D. Still hopeful, Frank takes his art to the gallery, but Potter rejects it as being without heart. E. After Tam cuts and washes Frank’s hair and they begin to become intimate, Tam suddenly pulls back – knowing he did not abandon her but still not feeling safe, unable to bear the thought of losing him again. Telling her he can’t make her feel safe, Frank leaves, believing they will never reunite.
—Character betrayals: A. Tam thought Frank betrayed her when he did not come back from a mission. B. Frank feels betrayed by Tam when her boyfriend suddenly shows up and she tells him that Frank is just some homeless guy looking for work. C. Frank goes to Chien’s house thinking it is a family get-together and finds out it’s a wedding engagement party in honor of Tam and Jin.
—Big surprises: A. Tam opens the back door of the market, surprised to see Frank standing before her. B. Arriving at the market to hopefully reunite with Tam, Frank is blindsided when he finds out she thinks he abandoned her in Vietnam. C. Tam is surprised when a local wants to buy a piece of Frank’s artwork. D. Vino and The Professor reveal their buried wounds from the war and find solace in the telling and Frank reveals what really happened on the battlefield when PT died. E. Returning to show Potter his art, Frank is surprised to find out Potter wants to have an art exhibit. F. Vino discovers New Guy has gone, apparently committing suicide. G. At the exhibit, Frank is surprised to see Tam and tells her about PT’s death on the battlefield. Understanding what really happened, she takes his hand, no longer wearing an engagement ring.
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Tom Dennis 10 Most Interesting Things about FIRE & RAIN
1. The hero is based on a real person’s story of incredible perseverance and courage…someone who is still alive and fully healed.
2. In the opening scene the hero has a serious PTSD meltdown that is shocking in its lifelike intensity.
3. The main character’s research while writing a Pearl Harbor documentary is turned on its head when he begins to get conflicting evidence from survivors and others that the whole thing may have been a gigantic set up.
4. When his nightmares and PTSD begin to spill into his daily hours, the hero’s life degenerates into a living nightmare.
5. The hero realizes he must solve the mystery of the cause of his PTSD terrors or die.
6. The major twist is not only does the hero need to discover how he died in his last life, but also WHY….in short, he needs to unravel and expose the hidden conspiracy that allowed himself and many others to be sacrificed.
7. The biggest betrayal is our hero finding out the conspiracy to allow the attack came all the way from FDR …a much-admired President who knew, yet secretly provoked and allowed the horrific attack in a move to get the US into the war.
8. His now elderly sister (and best buddy) from his previous life is still alive and our hero is able to find and poignantly reunite with her as part of his healing.
9. One of the historians who denied any cover up of Pearl Harbor is caught trying to cover up a new 911 related scandal….(and this really happened in real life).
10. It is a powerful moving and fascinating story that encompasses the deeper meanings of life…why we are here.
What I learned doing this assignment…
…is to really delve deeply into our story and find the most interesting gems that can really hook a business person’s interest. I discovered much more than I initially thought I would.
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VAUGHN JELKS – 10 MOST INTERESTING THINGS
What I learned doing this assignment is that I can make my pitch so interesting that a producer become obsessed with it by focusing on 2 pitch writing strategies – saying the most interesting, intriguing, engaging, shocking, or surprising things about the screenplay and combining them with the 10 components of marketability.
THE MOST INTERESTING THINGS/SPECIFIC HOOKS IN ‘THE MONEY PLAYER’
A. Unique Hero: Contrasting dynamic ensemble depicting different, darker sides of the NBA
B. Major hook of opening scene: The crew’s perfect point-shaving scheme and illegal gambling plot gets exposed, and the connection to Mario is made.
C. Turning Points: Mario cuts a deal with Mr. Lyons, but then he discovers the terms are uncouth.
The crew attains more money, status, and limelight, they face more problems together and in their individual lives.
Mario gets injured, arguably on purpose, and wants to quit… but Mr. Lyons won’t let him back out their deal and threatens him with violence!
D. Emotional dilemma: The crew has always been together and loyal to each other. Should they go their separate ways and leave Mario to his fate alone, or does the crew band together and figure a united way out?
E. Reveal: Mr. Lyons is a money launderer for the mafia, not a legitimate businessman.
F. Reversals: With his playing career definitely over, facing criminal charges, and with a hitman after him, Mario takes the fight to Mr. Lyons head on.
G. Character betrayals: Anthony turns his back on Mario! Roy sleeps with Mario’s ex-girlfriend.
H. Surprise: Mario defeats Mr. Lyons but has to go to prison… then Roy visits Mario to tell him his sentenced is reduced and he has millions waiting.
OTHER INTERESTING THINGS IN ‘THE MONEY PLAYER’
Sex, Drugs, Hip-Hop & Hoop!
Real NBA players, executives, and other celebrity cameos in serious, dramatic roles
NBA star and his entourage moonlighting in a high-stakes criminal life with dangerous and unsavory characters.
Off-the-court, behind-the-scenes access inside the troubled lives of the rich, famous, and shameless.
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Nancy Lucas Assignment #4, 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned about doing this assignment is: that, in learning the pitch FIRST- I know I need to create interesting and compelling characters who have depth. It is in that way- the story reveals their depth and their own struggles that they will ‘overcome’ in the story. In a Hallmark-type story- it will be: they change the way they look at things
A) The most unique things about the H1 and H2. HE is a successful lawyer, doesn’t believe in being spontaneous. His life has been carefully planned in order to become successful. His choice of Law School, the law firm he has a job at, and he is doing extra work to become a more valuable partner at the firm. No time for love- or a relationship-
H2 (SHE) has her set of goals. Believes strongly in taking care of family, taking care of the motel that has been in the family for years. But her passion is cooking and baking. Her passion is to open the Italian Restaurant that her family had up and running years ago, which had closed when her mother passed away. She has been remodeling it- but due to the financial constraints their family has- she has no idea if she will see her goal come true. She believes that may decisions in life are just spontaneous- based on a gut feeling- and that you don’t always need to question a motive—it is just a solid desire that is acted upon.
B) Major hook of the opening scene is when the H1 just came back from international travel for the law firm and his best friend announces his engagement to a tropical location to where he has to fly to- then several disturbances happen to where he is now tasked to plan the wedding. It is his best friend- so his desire to make it spectacular comes into conflict with the choice of the wedding planner he picked who gives him doubts she can get it done as he envisions.
C) Turning points happen when the health inspector shows up. When a group of co-workers from the law firm show up- (one of them being a woman who is after H1) and then the Head of the law firm shows up. Also—the bank hints at foreclosure for the property to be auctioned off.
D) Emotional dilemma: Spontaneous, hard decision, vs well planned and purposeful decisions.
E) Major twist: The head of the law firm shows up with his wife and (spontaneously) buys a condo, The best friend he is planning the wedding for—who he thought was very level headed- and a planner—continually is doing things spontaneously…
The bank comes to tell the family that its year end and the payments are due- and there are others that want to buy the property for cash. They need to act fast if they want to keep the motel.
F) Set up/ Reversal a) st the start of the story when he is led to believe there is a legitimate wedding planner on the premises- (which there IS) but it ends up being HER- who has no experience in planning a wedding b) Set up/ Reversal: During an afternoon stroll, in the quaint village, the Groom orders flowers and chocolates for his bride-to-be, only to discover his best friend delivering them to the hotel and reading the private note he had for his bride. (Jeopardizing the friendship) c) Set-up/Reversal: H1 is forced to join the group while the bride-to-be needs to find a wedding dress due to lost luggage, which he does NOT want to do – but find a small town network of friends get everything done and he accidentally lets out his feels by telling H2 that she looks beautiful.
G) Character betrayals: H2 discovers H1 has a history with Daphne, a co-worker, after he was warming up to H2 and working closely with her in planning the wedding as he tries to make it all turn out spectacular.
H) Big Surprises: Daphne get the promotion instead of the H1. He is upset but is offered something different by the head of the firm- spontaneously.
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<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Lindy Baker’s 10 Most
Interesting ThingsWhat I learned doing this assignment is to look for specific items to brainstorm and choose the most exciting ones that will help convince a producer that I have a movie that will sell. I had to dig deep into what my script contains that would be of high interest to a producer and an audience.
A.
What is most unique about your villain and heroThe hero resents her ability and refutes its value for herself. She’s an intelligent, educated and elegant person with a sense of humor but highly frustrated in not being able to stop events before they happen. She appears totally together, but she is hanging psychologically on the edge.
The Antagonist is not shown as a specific individual. The story has to unravel suspect by suspect. We think it is the mother, then the beauty shop owner, and then major terrifying evidence is found and a series of life-threatening events occur that indicate this is a collection of faceless people running a child trafficking ring.
B.
Major hook of your opening sceneA woman watches the Twin Towers as they are bombed by planes and she envisioned it, but could not stop it even though she sought the help of the Secret Service and FBI.
Twenty years later, she is still trying to find a way to stop or at least change events that she envisions by working on cases to find missing children and the perverts who took them. This case in particular is very important because of the reluctance of police to believe her in a prior case.C. Any turning points
1) The mother of the missing child lies about the child’s whereabouts, and then meets the press as if she is modeling for them so her behavior is suspect.2) After a man has reported seeing a woman lead the child away, the beauty shop owner is caught dressed with a wig and uniform looking very much like a woman.
3) A clue of rainbow placards, rainbow dreams, is found to be a city instead, or so we think.
4) A second child is missing with the same sequence of events, so this appears to be a serial killer, but later evidence proves this wrong.
D. Emotional dilemma
The main emotional dilemma is that the Protagonist must decide if she is to continue on this dangerous path of faceless criminals with the possibility of being killed, or to walk away without finding the child.
E. Major twists
1) After a meltdown, finding herself without a GPS for directions, the psychic stops in the middle of nowhere for directions and uncovers a mobile home packed with shocking evidence.
2) Upon the arrival of the friend from Los Angeles, who is a cop, the evidence is completely, impossibly gone.3) Although her cellphone is stolen, she has photo evidence anyway, and it is NOT on the cloud.
2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.
– This story is inspired by a true story
– The Protagonist does not fit pre-conceived notions
of what a psychic should be, feel or believe.
– This is a low to mid-budget movie.
– It is a contained movie in that it is a smaller cast with few locations.
– It is a strong female lead that could fit Amanda Tosch, Elizabeth Chambers
– Main characters have varied ethnic backgrounds.
– Westerns like Yellowstone and 1883 are hits right now, so the Warner Stallion
Ranch adds a bit of cowboy. -
Gordon’s 10 Most Interesting Things – Hardwired
Not in any order of importance:
1. Publicly the villain is an empathetic and generous philanthropist. Privately he’s a dangerous psychopath, hell bent to kill anyone discovering his dastardly plans.
2. First page: Gwen (protagonist) is about to be murdered by an assassin who breaks through her front door with gun and silencer, ready to kill her.
3. The moment when the deadly assassin Mara recognizes she is about to kill her own long-lost identical twin sister, Gwen.
4. A surprise visit by a dangerous and hungry wild bear who, because of the protagonist’s kindness, ultimately “saves the day.”
5. When, after the assassin is horrifically killed he somehow morbidly rises from the mist, refusing to die while still armed with his handgun.
6. When Gwen reads the contents of the horrid file, causing her to vomit, and then recognizing (in a subtext way) she is marked for death and would be killed at any moment.
7. When Mara stands-in and takes the place of her twin sister, then “beats” both the FBI’s interview and the FBI’s polygraph exam. And where the FBI never realize they have in their midst one of the world’s most deadly assassins but let her go.
8. Jeb’s morbid plan revealed by the file mistakenly given Gwen.
9. The “Hit Man” and the “mark” are long-lost identical twins.
10. Mara, in the end, never reveals to her sister Gwen that Jeb may be their long lost half-brother. And never reveals to Gwen that she killed him.
What I learned: Picking through the screenplay to find revealing moments that could help sell the script.
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Power Players Lesson 4 Day The 10 most interesting things Assignment 2022-06-13
What I learned is having these particular things written out give a producer insight into the planning of the storyline and the key events which makes it intriguing.
A. What is most unique about your
villain and hero?Villain – not revealed
until end – It’s a tremendous element of surprise. Chaplain Peter is in
wheel chair so couldn’t physically be a suspect as the sought after
at-large Socialite Strangler and of course his religious affiliation which
wouldn’t obviously prevent him to murder people.
Hero – Unexpectedly
learns of his clairvoyant ability to see the future at 21 and only
because of his taking a course in parapsychology as his last elective in
college..B. Major hook of your opening
scene?At
eight years old having fallen through a basement window ethereal spiritual
entities appear totally unexpectedly and mysteriously not knowing who and
what they are and if they appeared to save Warren’s life or perhaps to cause
this childhood head injury accident to take place. Would this be the way
that Warren could attain his later in life prophetic ability? This first
scene is without Warren seeing them or acknowledging them.C. Any turning points?
PLOT POINT ONE
30 minutes
– Warren’s first unexpected vision to be followed by others but this first
one sets the precedent for Warren’s challenging obstacle in dealing with
his “gift” he never asked for. This vision is of the death of his soon to
be wife’s grand-mother which immediately comes to past the next day. His
initial attempts to deal with his clairvoyance fail, that is, sharing
this vision with Jodi who becomes frightened and enraged with Warren’s
clairvoyance.
PLOT POINT TWO 90
minutes
– Seems like this tension has resolved towards hope but suddenly swings
back towards fear as his fondest hopes are crushed. Warren believes as a
solution in stopping yet another horrid vision, his mother-in-law’s
future strangulation murder, he might use the Professor’s retro-intention
hypnosis protocol to go to the timeless collective unconscious to alter the
“future memories” residing there of the killer which have not yet taken
place in his physical brain’s memory yet. This will be in order for him
to know that the rake with his blood DNA evidence on it is located in
Warren’s mother-in-law’s garage and will become the motive for him to go
there and have to commit her murder wanting to hide the connection of him
to this evidence. The Professor suggests that Warren is blocking seeing the
killer’s identity in his vision because he actually knows who the killer
in his vision is. If Warren knows who the killer is it would act to
change his own fate in all this and its Warren’s getting involved in this
which is causing the murder of his mother-in-law to take place where if
he hadn’t meddling in this as a psychic none of this would have taken
place.D. Emotional dilemma?
Warren
can’t let his soon to be wife Jodi know that he has had yet another
terrible vision, that is of her mother being killed by the Socialite
Strangler. This has been afterwards of having his seeing the unexpected
death of her grandmother. Warren has promised after this first one that
he wouldn’t share any more of his visions concerning their relatives or
friends in order for Jodi to go through with their upcoming marriage. If
he continues to share his visions then his marriage is threatened.E. Major twists?
1) Irene and the location of the rake
which has the killer’s blood on it, DNA evidence.Initial
Direction
– Irene finds a rake at the foot of her driveway believing it had been
left there by her gardener, so she picks it up to put it into her
garage.
The twist – Walking to
garage she answers her phone and must speak with the caterer for the
upcoming wedding instead of proceeding to put the rake into the garage,
so she leans the rake instead against the pool gate.2) Warren picks up the rake and has the
vision of Irene’s strangulation murder.Initial
Direction
– Warren needs to enter the pool in the backyard to clean it. Irene was
to put the rake into her garage to hold it for their gardener.
The twist – Now the
rake with the killer’s blood on it is leaning against the gate and
Warren has to move it to get into the pool location, inciting
psychometry allowing him to have the vision of Irene being strangled
which if the rake wouldn’t have been there the fate of everyone would
have been different.3) The Chaplain wants to know if in
Warren’s vision he can identify the Socialite Strangler Serial KillerInitial
Direction
– The chaplain asks Warren to come down to the police department because
he only wants to talk with Warren. His plan, however, is to learn if
Warren can actually identify the killer of his mother-in-law which
secretly of course is himself.
The twist – Warren
can’t see his face because of what the Professor describes as the
“critical faculty” related to an ability which blocks certain
information from being brought up under hypnosis which would be affecting
Warren’s subconscious preventing him from psychically seeing the face of
the killer. The professor states it’s because Warren knows him. However,
Warren lets the Chaplain know that he sees the killer coming to his
in-laws’ garage to retrieve a rake and guesses because it’s probably
incriminating evidence on it, like blood. The Chaplain, who is secretly
the killer, realizes that his own blood is on that rake because it
scrapped his arm during the burial which he must get back and which is
also on the blanket in which that victim had been wrapped. The Chaplain always
wears a black long sleeve shirt which would hide the wound which only
the viewers know.4) Detective Hart meets with the Medical
Examiner concerning one of the victims.Initial
Direction
– Hart is looking for clues about the victim’s body but there is only
strangulation marks and leather gloves’ oil detectable.
The twist – The medical
examiner remarks that there is however not on the body but on the
blanket someone’s blood, but none of the victim’s blood herself because
the blood types don’t match. This would be the killer’s blood when he
killed this victim and while burying her, he cut his arm on a bent tooth
on the rake. So, if the police get the rake which they don’t know about
it except later by the chaplain, because Warren only mentioned it to the
chaplain and not the Detective so only now at the end can the evidence
be led to prove the Chaplain was the killer. The cops need the rake with
his blood on it which they finally get after the Chaplain is shot
however. This will prove the connection as the required evidence to
posthumously have him indicted.5) Professor and Warren engage in
retro-intention in the experiment to be able to change fate, stop the
killer from knowing where the rake with the evidence leading to him is
located.Initial
Direction
– The Professor guides Warren under hypnosis to enter the non-local
universe so Warren can access the collective unconscious under the
Professor’s retro intention hypnosis protocol whereby containing all
memories past, present, and future of everyone who has ever lived or
will be born in the future. This is outside of time in order to retrieve
Irene’s present memory from her past which shows the circumstances of
the cause for her to have found the rake on the edge of her driveway
which series of events leads to her murder.
The twist – (this is of
major significance to the theme of the story in order for the Professor
to prove his theory that “cause does not have to precede effect”!!!)
This existing memory of Irene of the past event of picking up the rake
and putting it against the pool gate exists in both universes, in her
brain in the physical universe under the relativity factor of “time” to
mass and energy AND in the collective unconscious devoid of time because
there is no mass or energy there. So being able to change a memory
“simultaneously” in the collective unconscious at the same time as in
Irene’s physical brain replacing the original one with a “new desired
memory” created by Warren acting as a clairvoyant accesses the
collective unconscious under the Professor’s retro intention hypnosis
protocol, and this memory now appears of her “instead” as visualized by
Warren as her being scared by a cat.6) The rake
scenario continuesInitial
Direction
– Because now Irene did not pick up the rake (in her memory of it)
because of the retro-intention experiment using Warren, the rake would
have remained there in physical memory.
The twist – (not known
until Sid mentions what he did telling Irene on the airplane trip back
to Las Vegas) Instead, Sid says that he noticed the rake lying there
(because the past event memory now never happened for Irene to have
picked up that rake) and so Sid’s memory takes precedent because Irene’s
memory of the past no longer exists. So Sid picked up the rake so not to
damage the tires on their car and it was instead him who placed the rake
against the pool gate instead so the gardener would see it assuming it
belonged to the gardener, not knowing it had bounced out of the killer’s
pickup. Sid’s unknown actions now in everyone’s memories allowed the
resulting sequence of events to still play out and to continue as before
not changing the physical past inciting events to follow so that Warren
still has his prophetic vision of Irene’s murder and so the killer will
still show up at the in-laws’ house to retrieve that rake.7) Warren
promises to secretly help Sid gamble while they are in Aruba by giving
Sid the numbers psychically over the phone while Sid bets in the casino
there.Initial
direction
– This is Warren’s plan B in case the Professor’s retro-intention
experiment to change the “cause” for Irene’s murder can’t be changed in
the future “not” proving the Professor’s theory. This is because of
Warren’s participation himself screwing up the sequence of events, changing
the causes referred to as “memories of the future”. This lure to get
Warren’s in-laws out of their house is because Warren knows from his
visions that the killer is going to be coming back there for the rake
and but doesn’t want anyone home at that time so no one will be murdered
by his retrieving the rake. Warren hires an armed security guard to
surveil his in-laws’ house and to catch the killer’s act of coming back
to get his rake back but Warren only wants the security guard to
photograph the killer, not actually catch him and place herself in
danger – after all Warren’s the hero and the good guy not wanting anyone
to die in this.
The twist – Sid changes
their plans and decides to fly home early, but which will be “prior” to
the killer getting to their house – not good, because both in-laws may
be killed by him in order to have no witnesses as to him getting the
rake which evidence will prove he’s the killer matching his blood to
that on the rake and on the blanket which was wrapped around the victim’s
corpse.8) Sid and
Irene are going to Aruba to a casino so Sid can make bets using Warren
over the phone to tell him what numbers to bet on the roulette wheel.Initial
Direction
– Sid and Irene would have not gone to Aruba in the first place and would
have been home when the serial killer would have gone there and would
have been murdered by him when getting his rake back with his blood
evidence on it to identify him.
The twist – Because
they were not going to be home Irene called their maid for her to show
up there instead, clean the house, and check on it. Because the maid had
been there when the killer goes there the first time, she instead was
murdered by the killer earlier, the killer posing as a new gardener to
get the rake. Although the caveat
is that the killer did not get the rake because the steel door to the
garage had been locked and he has no tools to break in. The security
code on the garage outside door had been changed by Sid upon Warren’s
recommendation earlier to his in-laws at a dinner at their house. We
don’t see Sid doing this however to plant the element of surprise when
the killer can’t get into the garage the first time when he has to kill
the maid to shut her up. This means the killer will have to return again
when Sid, Irene, or perhaps Jodi, all knowing the code, would be there.9) Irene cannot
reach the maid by phone while they’re away in Aruba (because she’s been
murdered by the serial killer)Initial
direction
– The maid should be there but has been murdered by the killer.
The twist – Irene
instead calls Jodi and asks “her” to go to the house and check on why
the maid hasn’t returned her call and, as well, because they’re coming
home early she suggest they’ll meet Jodi there at the house and have
dinner when they return.10) Warren is
to exchange his pool cleaning truck for Jodi’s car at her school so he
can pick her parents up at the airport as originally planned.Initial
Direction
– While Jodi is half asleep when Warren gets back at night after working
his job in Laughlin, he tells her he needs to switch cars with her at
her school in order so he can get her parents at the airport when they
will arrive, coming home a day early.
The twist – Jodi has
that school day end early, forgets to tell Warren that while he’s
planning to go to her school to switch cars. Warren heads over to the
school parking lot to switch cars, but Jodi’s car isn’t there because
unknown to Warren she’s at the house where the killer is expected to
arrive. This causes Warren to do a mad drive to get to the house to
protect Jodi knowing from his vision that the killer will go there, More
so, Warren has had a subsequent vision while under hypnosis with the professor
where he sees his first vision of Irene’s death not happening but
instead seeing Jodi there in the garage and him throwing her to the
floor, BUT not seeing why he would be doing this.11) Warren has
secretively hired an armed security guard he meets while working at the
Laughlin casino. She’s a female, Patty, who is too short for the police
department, who is now staked out down the street of the in-laws’ house.Initial
direction
– Patty is there so as to see all the cars which will come to the in-laws’
house coming up their driveway and to photograph who comes there so when
it will be the killer they have a description of him for the police to
use to identify and arrest him.
The twist – the
security guard loses one of her earrings which falls on the floor of her
car, tries to get it but in doing so spills her soft drink on herself
while bending over down to the floor and by doing this at that moment
misses seeing the killer’s truck going up the driveway and also not
knowing Jodi is already there in the house. Jodi is now coming out of
the swimming pool and having arranged to meet her parents there coming
home early.12) The killer
arrives impersonating a detective to get into the house and into the
garage because he has the tools to break the lock to get into the garage
and to get the rake.Initial
Direction
– the killer impersonating a detective tells Jodi he’s following up on
her husband having made a police report. First he asks to use the
restroom. Jodi wet from the pool, points down the hall towards the
garage inside door now “unlocked” because she had the code to unlock and
did so earlier without being seen doing it.
The twist – The killer
goes down the hall past the restroom and enters the garage steel inside
door which is now “unlocked” but we don’t see him going in. We do see
from inside the garage the door opening. It’s Jodi hurriedly entering
the garage. She suspicious, questions the supposed detective, “How
did you know about my husband trying to put in a police report.” The
detective replies faking his answer, “It says so right here in the
notes.” Jodi continues, “You need to leave immediately. This is not our
home; it’s my parents’ home”. The killer now with the rake in his
hand comes at Jodi. Warren has just arrived and bursts through the door
throwing Jodi to the floor to protect her. (the last of his visions,
btw) The killer is known because Warren knows him as the chaplain. the
chaplain pulls his gun and the security standing on the tail gate of
Warren’s truck in front of the garage shoots him dead. (FYI) Most
importantly, reiterated so the viewers understand why Warren couldn’t
identify the killer in his visions, Warren remarks in the denouement to
the Detective,” Now I know why I couldn’t identify the killer when I
first came to the police station to report a murder,… before it
happened, it was because I was going to become his friend and was going
to meet him in the future. I guess subconsciously I knew that and
because he was to become my friend it would have been too traumatic for
me to see him as the killer. Wait until Professor Keller hears about
that.” Detective Hart questions, “Who’s that?”13) Sid and
Irene arrive home by cab but Sid, forgetting his key to get in, while
Jodi had not answered the front door:Initial direction – Sid was to
open the front door with his house keys and would have come through the
front, not having to enter using the outside garage entry code to get
in.
The twist – Sid has
forgotten his house keys so instead he does have to enter the outside
garage door using his code and the locked garage door opens. This causes
Sid and Irene to interrupt the Chaplain about to shoot Warren and Jodi.
The chaplain turns to parents. “Good thing I have five bullets in this
revolver.” (Meaning he can kill all five of them with his 38 Saturday
night special which holds five rounds) Patty the security guard is now
standing up on the tail gate of Warren’s truck with her gun pointed at
the Chaplain. The Ethereal Spirit is behind her holding up her arms to
aim her gun for her at the Chaplain. She yells, “Drop it or I’ll shoot.
I have all the bullets “I” need to get the job done!” The Chaplain
instead points the gun at Patty and says, “I’ll just have to strangle
one of you. Sorry”. Patty fires and kills him. Wow!14) The
denouement. Detective Hart is speaking outside the house; the police
having arrived and securing the crime scene. Their conversation is
interrupted by who was the red herring as established earlier in the
script, Lieutenant Bono.Initial
direction
– “We have several problems here. We have a security guard who shot a
Chaplain with an unregistered gun though with four witnesses to
substantiate she did it. We have an old rake with somebody’s blood on it
which proves nothing. We have a nice pair of new leather gloves which
probably could fit O.J.’s hands but proves nothing, and most of all
there’s no corpse of anyone you say he could have killed by
strangulation and which would have to have his blood on the corpse which
I know the Chaplain wouldn’t have been so careless to leave as a former
detective himself.” “All this doesn’t prove anything that our Chaplain,
who does seem to be missing his wheelchair at the moment, however, could
be the Socialite Strangler”. Lieutenant Bono just arrogantly walks away.§ The twist – Detective Hart, however apologizes for her boss’ crassness and says to Warren that she should have listened to Warren and that in future she’ll be more open minded about using psychics to get leads on a crime. The Ethereal Spirit stands next to Warren as he says, “Let’s just thank my friends in high places, at least the good ones.” “By the way, if you let your boss know, that if they dig up there, next to the adjoining new home their building, my Friend in High Places just showed me, you’ll find the body Lieutenant Bono says is needed to link the Chaplain to the last couple of killings. In fact, that corpse is dressed in a maid’s uniform.”
F. Reversals?
Lieutenant
Bono is bandaging a bad cut on his arm after the audience just prior seeing
the scene in which the Socialite Strangler cuts himself with a bent fork
on his rake while burying a body. The rake with his blood on it has
bounced out of his truck and lands on Warren’s mother-in-law’s driveway.
She picks it up and leaves it leaning against her pool gate entrance.
This is how Warren has his vision of his mother-in-law’s murder upon touching
the rake, psychometry. That same blood as on the rake had gotten on to
the blanket which wrapped one of his victim’s bodies. The police don’t
have the rake of course but do have the blanket. Sergeant Hart must check
all leads and the police suspect that the killer might be a cop. The crime
lab determines that the blood on the blanket, AB negative, does not match
victim’s blood type O positive. AB negative is one in one hundred. Sergeant
Hart gets Lieutenant Bono’s bandage out of the trash without him knowing
and sends it to the lab after she learns from the coroner about the blood
mismatch. She secretly suspects Bono might be the killer fitting the killer’s
profile as to being a cop which has been divorced. Her suspicions are
further aroused when Lieutenant Bono’s blood type also happens to be AB
negative, the same as found on the blanket meaning it could have been
Bono’s blood on the blanket making Bono the red herring for the story.
Only at the end where the Chaplain is shot stealing back his rake do we
realize that Bono can’t be the killer.G. Character betrayals?
Unbeknownst
and totally unexpected by the audience the Chaplain is betraying Warren
by getting Warren to give him the location of the rake which has his
blood DNA evidence on it, not expecting the Chaplain to be the Socialite
Strangler.H. Or any big surprises?
The
setup is that the Chaplain appears to be helping Warren to prevent Warren’s
mother-in-law’s murder, but because the Chaplain secretly is the killer,
it’s only because of that help that sets into motion the events that lead
the Chaplain to Warren’s mother-in-law’s garage to retrieve his rake with
his blood DNA evidence on it. The
same blood is also found on the blanket of this one murder victim tying
the chaplain to the murder and establishes his motive in finding the
rake.2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.
· Based on true events and real characters.
· Is a comedy, a sci fi theme dealing with time, and a thriller using a clairvoyant being able to identify and catch a serial killer unknowingly the circumstance baiting him in order for his capture.
· The sci fi element of a Professor’s theory which is proven that “cause does not have to precede effect”. This provocative and skeptically challenged postulate disrupts the substantiation of the supposedly constant fixed measurement relationship of time in Einstein’s e=mc squared equation. In hypnosis the Professor shows time not to be an element in the theoretical concept of Carl Jung’s collective unconscious. In our story under hypnosis our hero allows himself to go there and alter and eliminate past memories of the future murder through the documented phenomenon of retro-intention. This is where it is already know that our current thoughts have been shown to have directed past events to have happened. The twist is that the Professor’s theory is proven by a psychic uncovering future memories of a killer located in the timeless collective unconscious prior to these future thoughts and motives not having yet manifested in his physical brain in order to incite this last murder of his. The essence of fate itself is challenged meaning we can amend our own fate by being involved in a psychic being able to see that future event and by their actions becoming involved in it.
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