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Day 4 Assignments
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10 Replies
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Matthew Frendo’s Contrast Scene
WHAT I LEARNED: I learned how to create an interesting scene by contrasting visuals and dialogue. This will make the scene interesting on a whole other level for the audience.
INT. ANIMAL CAGE – NIGHT
Jocelyn and Kristen hide in the animal cage, watching as one creature nips at Alicia up in the tree and the other has Nick pinned.
JOCELYN
They’re not gonna make it. And we’ll be next.
A beat of silence.
KRISTEN
I would kill for some nachos right now.
Jocelyn looks at her like she’s crazy.
KRISTEN
I haven’t had nachos for years because I wanted to get noticed by boys. And I so want some cheesy goodness. Maybe with steak even.
(a beat)
None ever did anyway.
JOCELYN
None ever what huh?
KRISTEN
No boys ever noticed me. My Mom said it was because they were offput by my sublime holy energy…but I kinda think she was lying.
JOCELYN
Well…you’re not missing much. All boys ever did to me was fuck me and then fuck me again. The second time not literally.
(a beat)
And yeah, nachos would be awesome.
They sit for a beat, then Kristen quickly gets up, grabbing her stake on the way.
JOCELYN
Where are you going?
Kristen looks at Alicia and Nick, in peril.
KRISTEN
There are no nachos here. Time to stop living in fantasy.
She goes out to help.
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Cameron Martin’s Contrast Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is…You mean I can write boring exposition and make it interesting? Hmmmmm. Not only that, but the PULP FICTION example helped me think of a couple of examples where you can have the characters talking about something completely different than what the action says. I think back to the YouTube channel, “Every Frame A Painting” and the analysis Tony gives to Akira Kurosawa. He shows how the way Kurosawa shoots his movies makes it to where you can infer the story and everything that’s happening without knowing what the characters are saying. The characters’ dialogue is secondary to what’s happening on screen. This is exactly what the scene from PULP FICTION is like. You don’t have to know Jules and Vincent are talking about Big Macs and massaging feet to know they’re out on a routine hit. It’s also like watching Genndy Tartakovsky’s PRIMAL. There isn’t one like of dialogue throughout the whole first season until the final episode. Doesn’t matter. But when Spear does have his first and only line in the series thus far, it says everything you need to know. Another example of this technique can be found throughout the entirety of LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. What I did find extremely difficult about this assignment, however, is how to fit it in with the conventions of Horror. A common trend I found in analyzing the scenes from LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL and PULP FICTION are people successfully maintaining control of the given situation, which goes against one of the major components of horror where the characters are hardly ever shown to be in control of anything. I imagine this is due to the requirement of the character(s) being so in command or control of one thing, that they can turn their attention to something else, such as the example from NETWORK where the sex is such a given that the foreplay or romance isn’t needed; the characters can talk about work while tearing their clothes off. Or in Hal’s example where after the 100th changed diaper, it really is just routine, and you can turn your attention to the more important task of discussing where to go for dinner. It takes the “Pope in the Pool” concept from Blake Snyder’s SAVE THE CAT and makes it active, much to the delight of actors. It’s this idea of the characters being in control that had me hitting my head against the desk trying to figure out where the hell to use this technique in a Horror script. Luckily, my wife is an empathetic ear to my struggles with Writer’s Block, and talking it out with her led me to what should’ve been the obvious answer: The Bronchoscopy scene…
INT. PASSENGER SHIP – MEDICAL BAY
SULLY and ISAIAH rush through the bulletproof glass doors of the medical bay…
SHHHHHHHNK. The slide shut. Sully turns around…
FACE TO FACE with an exterminator on the other side of the glass plane…
And LOCKS the door.
The exterminator raises his axe blade and STRIKES the glass—
BWUM. The axe bounces off like it struck a bongo drum. Nothing’s getting in…for now.
Sully scatters Jude’s documents all over the floor for the incoming exterminators to see. Meanwhile, Isaiah’s coughing and stumbling his way over to a hospital bed.
Sully hurries – a mirror of the earlier scene – He’s in his element now, as his hands and movements around the medical bay come down to muscle memory.
He runs over to a stereo and hooks up Jude’s recordings to be played.
SULLY
Do you remember Bean?
Isaiah shakes his head, unable to get a word out without hacking up his lung.
More exterminators show up at the door of the medical bay and try breaking their way in.
SULLY
You were really young. Still, I thought you’d remember our cat, Bean.
Sully readies an IV to put into Isaiah’s arm.
ISAIAH
(accepting the IV)
Oh *cough* yeah *cough* I re-mem-mem-mem-ber *cough*
Sully fits a nasal tube to Isaiah’s nose.
SULLY
Yeah, let me tell you about him. So sweet, you’d never think of him as your typical house cat.
Sully pulls up the bronchoscope – all the necessary attachments, configurations set up. He tests the camera on the end of it. We’re ready for the procedure.
BWUM! BWUM! The exterminators keep trying to break the glass.
SULLY
Your mother wanted a cat real bad. I used to tell her if we ever got a cat, that it’d be the end of us. “It’s me or a cat.”
(readying the anesthetic)
Open wide for me.
Isaiah opens his mouth in a daze. The mix of oxygen and medication being siphoned into this nose leads him to a sleepy expression, though still very conscious.
Sully spays an anesthetic down Isaiah’s throat.
The poor kid coughs and contorts his mouth from the foul taste.
SULLY
(fitting Isaiah’s mouth with a bite block)
Yeah, I know it tastes like sour milk. Just lean your head back.
Isaiah complies.
CHNGK! A crack in the glass.
Sully hesitates for just a second at the thought of what he’s about to do. Then he takes the bronchoscope and slides it down his son’s throat.
SULLY
So anyway. Your mother one day insists on this damn cat. We fly to Ganymede where they actually have a cat shelter. I go kicking and screaming, asking why can’t we just order a synthetic, because at this rate it’s a small fortune for a dumb animal. But you remember mom. She’s always been too sentimental.
Meanwhile, the flatscreen shows the image captured by the camera attached to the end of the bronchoscope – a collection of eggs, dozens of them. The bronchoscope does it job in collecting them.
CHNGK! CRACK! At the glass door.
SULLY
I make my ultimatum known that the only way we’re bringing back a stupid cat is if one plops down in my lap. Low and behold, the first cat – the very first one – struts right up, sits in my lap and starts purring. I could’ve pet that cat for hours and he wouldn’t move.
Each egg that’s extracted is dropped in a large jar.
SULLY
So, needless to say, we took the cat straight home with us. I loved that cat. But then, you were born, and against all odds developed the worst allergy to cats. You couldn’t see straight from all the water in your eyes and the way you were sneezing.
The jar is filled halfway with eggs, covered in mucus and a little blood.
CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! Each successive hit against the glass forms a spiderweb of fractures.
SULLY
I argued and tried to come up with every reason I could to keep Bean. The thought of losing my buddy. But there was no getting around it with your mother. We gave Bean away to a family willing to cover the travel costs. I was devastated, but for your mother, having a cat to call her own meant so much more. It was something she’d dream about as a little girl. For some girls, it’s their wedding, or becoming royalty. For your mother, it was having a furry friend. And she gave up Bean for you.
Sully does one more check for the eggs. They’re all out of Isaiah’s lungs – and drying…
Sully draws the bronchoscope from his son’s mouth with the care of laying him down in a soft bed.
CRUNCH. CRUNCH. CRUNCH. The worms inside the eggs are CHEWING their way OUT!
Sully runs…
And grabs a bottle of AMMONIA!
And DROWNS the hatching worms in it. He lets the fluid overflow and poor out of the jar. Doesn’t matter. He’s not taking his eyes off of the demons that almost took his son from him – not until every one is dead.
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Dev Ross – CONTRAST SCENE
What I learned is – how fun this can be. Certainly, can use when I write comedy. The juxtaposition of dialogue to action is something I already use regularly when I do comedy improvisation with my company. It works well on stage and now on paper!
INT. PUBLIC RESTROOM – DAY
MAY, (40’s) works alongside of JIM (50’s) as they work cleaning a park public bathroom.
Jim mopes the floor when…
A TOILET FLUSHES – several times – May emerges from the stall with her toilet bowl cleaner held aloft.
JIM
And she emerges triumphant.
MAY
Hey, I was thinking about what you said last night.
JIM
Where? At the bar?
May removes the trash from the wall bins, secures it with ties.
MAY
Yeah, at the bar.
Jim keeps moping.
JIM
You mean about how we should probably sleep together already and get it over with?
May sprays mirrors and wipes them down.
MAY
Yeah, that, and more.
Jim plops his mop in a sink to rinse it.
JIM
The ‘more’ part certainly does pique my interest.
MAY
Well, if we sleep together once, I’m guessing we’ll wanna do it again.
Ringing the mop…
JIM
And again.
MAY
And again. So…
Jim grabs the tied trash, carries it outside, re-enters with a bug treatment spray, starts spraying.
JIM
So?
MAY
So, we might as well move in together.
JIM
Well, it’s not as though we don’t know each other.
MAY
Right? Five years of working together, you grow close.
Jim sprays inside the empty trash bins.
JIM
Not as close as I’ve wanted but sure, close.
May scrubs the sinks.
MAY
My rent’s gone sky high but I love my building. You would too. We could split the rent.
JIM
Sounds reasonable.
May rinses the sinks.
MAY
So, you’ll move in?
Jim lines the waste bins with plastic bags.
JIM
First of the month?
Finishing up, they both wash and dry their hands…
MAY
First of the month.
Their hands clean, they shake on it and then exit.
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Day 4: (Advanced Dialogue) – Anita’s Contrast Scene
What I learned: This is a fun way to communicate dissonance. And one of my 3 main characters has loads of that, being psychologically twisted. I had this scene in mind all along, but writing it with purposeful contrast between calm words and cruel actions – all while during a birthday party made it pop for me.
EXT. WOZBIAK’S BACK YARD – DAY
Irene and Peter are throwing a birthday party for 7-year-old Harley. All the chaotic trimmings are in play: balloons and streamers, a table heaped with presents, another with cake and punch, and of course –
About a dozen kids are running around screaming, shooting silly string at each other, the dog, the rose bushes – and blowing noise-makers.
Everyone except HARLEY. Now grown into a beautiful blonde blue-eyed sweetheart, she stands at the table laden with gifts methodically picking up and inspecting one after another.
ACTION ON:
Pete grilling hot dogs; Irene futilely organizing pin-the-tail-on-the donkey game; one kid trying to pop all the balloons; another crying because she spilled juice on her dress. In a word: bedlam.
CUT TO:
Table with presents. Harley is no longer anywhere to be seen.
IRENE
Harley! Harley?
She looks around and can’t see her daughter anywhere. Goes to Peter –
IRENE (CONT’D)
Have you seen Harley?
PETER
She’s checking out her haul –
He indicates the gift table, frowns.
PETER (CONT’D)
Well she was there a minute ago –
EXT. WOZNIAK’S HOME, FRONT YARD – CONTINUOUS
Wrapping paper is strew along the front yard, leading to an open box marked ‘Science Kit’, which leads to Harley lying facedown on the sidewalk.
She has a huge magnifying glass in her hand intently studying the marching line of ants she’s frying to tiny black crisps.
IRENE
Harley! There you are!
Peter’s right on Irene’s heels.
PETER
What are you doing out here? The party’s out back!
HARLEY
Did you know ant colonies retain memories that outlast the lifespans of individuals – like a central brain. Because ants can teach what they learn to other ants.
Irene pulls Harley off the sidewalk and starts brushing the dirt from her party dress.
HARLEY (CONT’D)
And they have a caste system. There are queens, workers and males. The queen ant lays eggs. Males die not long after they mate. The worker ants are female ants and most of them stay in the ant nest and tend the young.
She reaches out a shiny black patent-leather shoe and purposefully squishes several underfoot.
HARLEY (CONT’D)
And a single ant can carry objects 10 – 50 times their body weight, which makes ants the world’s’ strongest creatures in relation to their size.
Harley bends over and picks up a twig with several ants dangling from it, then flings it away.
HARLEY (CONT’D)
Some ants can survive even with damaged parts of their bodies, and some can last for weeks without food or water.
Peter and Irene exchange looks.
PETER
Okay – if ants are so cool – why do you want to kill them?
Harley shrugs.
HARLEY
It’s fun to watch them die.
Her parents are at a loss for words as Harley smiles up at them angelically.
PETER
Let’s get back to the rest of the kids.
He gently removes the magnifying glass from Harley and takes her hand, leading this strange placid child back to her birthday celebration.
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June Fortunato’s contrast scene Day 4 of dialogue
What I learned: I focused on the assignment and it heightened the action of my next scenes. These are pages 76,77,78
BACKSTORY
Roy had a melt down in Atlantic city, Kim declared that she’s no good for Roy and left. He hitched a ride on church lady bus back to Philly. Now he’s looking for a place to sleep and returns to the Bellevue, where he commandeered an unused balcony. The next morning, Kim hitches a ride back to Philly with a betting couple.
INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – 19TH FLOOR – SERVICE DOOR
A large padlock secures Roy’s service door. Roy drops to his knees and pretends to look for something on the floor. He reaches up, and tests the lock. Solid. He crawls around again, kneels up and inspects the lock. Unshakable. The waiter from the previous night walks in and watches Roy, amused.
WAITER Looking for something, “DOCTOR.”
ROY Damned eyes. I lost my contact lens.
WAITER Uh huh. I’m sure that won’t affect your surgical skills in the least. Wait here. Worried that the waiter will fetch security, Roy heads to the elevator and hits the button. He watches the lights as the elevator climbs. Slowly. Too slowly. Roy tries several locked doors. The waiter returns. He carries Roy’s beat-up box.
WAITER This yours?
ROY What, that? Let me see.
Roy takes the box.
WAITER I studied history.
ROY A fine topic.
WAITER Don’t let it repeat itself.
ROY Ten-four.
WAITER Next time, I’ll call security.
Pause.
ROY But Jiminy Cricket, what about my contact lens?
Pissed, the waiter pulls out his cell phone as the elevator ‘dings’ and Roy hustles aboard – giving the waiter a respectful soldier’s salute as the doors shutter.
INT. BELLEVUE HOTEL – HALLWAY – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Roy investigates the hall of Kim’s suite. Someone has left a tray with a discarded half-sandwich – outside of a door. He snags it. He knocks on Kim’s door.
ROY Sugar?
A small woman cracks the door and peeks out.
ROY Have you seen my dog? Little one? Terrier? This big. Hairy. Pretty dark hair? Answers to the name of Sugar?
WOMAN
She shakes her head and quickly closes the door.
ROY So sorry, madam. Hope springs E-TERN-AL.
EXT. PHILADELPHIA STREETS – NIGHT
Roy wanders. He sits on a bench in the park. He wanders. He sneaks into the back door of a restaurant but gets spotted. He wanders. He sits at the outdoor table of a bar. Finally, he comes to a decision.
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAYS – OSTEO UNIT – CONTINUOUS
He waits until the nurse’s station is clear, slips into a bathroom, locks the door, and sleeps on his box.
EXT. ATLANTIC CITY – STAGE – EARLY MORNING
Kim wakes with the dawn. The ocean and the sky meet. It’s surreal.
EXT. CASINO EXIT – EARLY MORNING
A tired, young couple head toward a parking garage. Kim follows them.
KIM Oh wow, I know how that feels. You guys are beat. Me too.
They ignore her.
KIM I gambled all night. Lost everything! Including my boyfriend.
They continue to walk.
KIM Are you heading to Philadelphia? My guy beat it, and I’m stranded.
They turn.
WOMAN Hey. Weren’t you the one who sang on the stage last night?
KIM Ah. Yuh.
WOMAN I saw it. (To her friend) Her boyfriend went schizo and got carted off.
MAN Sucks to be you.
KIM And him.
WOMAN We ARE going to Philly.
Beat.
MAN Yeah, OK. Buy us lunch?
KIM Um. Sure, I can snag you a lunch. Thank you!
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DAY 4 Contrasting Dialogue
Lisa’s Contrasting Scene
What I learned is that by using the contrasting dialogue to the action you are adding layers to your character. Two things are revealed about the character’s traits…one from their words and one from their actions. One of the two becomes subtext.
Set-up: Dash and Donna have been assigned to find Santa and his kidnappers by NORAD. Their commander did not want to send them, but they were the only two who were available to go. Prior to this scene, they have been to the North Pole and now are near the Canadian-US border following Santa’s tracking device.
DONNA is 32 years old, short, and rotund, is confident despite her size and makes a lot of mistakes.
DASH is 28 years old, thin, and tall, who is very confident but not always the sharpest knife in the drawer.
EXT-CANADIAN BACKROAD-DAY
Dash and Donna are racing down a backroad in pursuit of the kidnappers and Santa Claus in their black government issue sedan when something that looks like a person falls out of the sky and onto the road. Dash who is driving swerves to try and miss it. The car goes into the shoulder ditch and POOF! The front left tire blows. Dash and Donna look at each other with big eyes. Then they bounce out of the car and run over to see if the person is alright.
DONNA
What the hell?
DASH
What the wholly Christmas!
Dash looks up to the sky. It’s one of the old blow-up clowns that you punch, and it pops back up, up righting itself…only this one is a Santa Claus version. They look around. No one is nearby. Nothing is nearby.
DASH
Where did it come from?
Donna kicks it hard in frustration.
DONNA
Take that Santa!
Dash decides to take Donna’s lead.
DASH
(laughing) Yeah, take that Santa!!
Dash kicks the Santa, and it flies through the air onto the other side of the road.
DONNA
Come on. We’ve got to fix that tire and get out of here. We’re going to lose their trail.
CUT TO
Dash slides in behind the wheel of the car leaving the door open as Donna tries to push it out of the ditch onto the gravel shoulder.
DASH
That Santa got me thinking.
Dash puts the car in drive. Donna starts pushing.
DONNA
(grunting) What’s that?
DASH
I was wondering what your favorite Christmas movie is.
DONNA
That’s an easy question.
Dash doesn’t wait for the answer.
DASH
Just don’t say it’s…
DONNA and DASH
Die Hard!
Dash gets out of the car and runs to the back of it to help Donna push it.
DASH
That is NOT a Christmas movie.
DONNA
Yes, it is. It takes place at Christmas.
With one big push the car jumps out of the ditch and starts down the road with no one in it. Donna and Dash run after it.
DASH
It’s a shoot-em up film, not a nice Christmas movie.
DONNA
Doesn’t matter. If it takes place in December, it’s a Christmas movie.
Dash leaps to try and get into the car. His left leg is hanging out. He presses the brake, and the car comes to a severe stop in the middle of the road.
DASH
I don’t buy it. There’s not enough Christmasy, Christmas in it.
Donna gets the jack out of the trunk and starts hoisting up the car. Dash goes to the trunk to get out the spare.
DONNA
Balderdash!
DASH
What did you call me?
Donna laughs.
DASH
My name’s short for Dasher, not Balderdash…because I ran track in high school, and I was fast.
Dash decides to bounce the tire for fun. The tire goes flying across the road and hits the Santa balloon.
DASH
Oops!!
Dash runs after the tire. He pats Santa and rolls the tire over to the car.
DONNA
Hey! You didn’t say what your favorite Christmas movie is.
DASH
The Long Kiss Goodnight.
DONNA
If Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie, then that’s NOT a Christmas movie either!
Dash takes the busted tire to the trunk.
DASH
What are you talking about? There’s Christmas parties and decorations, and kick-ass (kicks his leg up) Gena Davis even plays Mrs. Claus in a parade!
Donna is done putting on the spare tire and takes the jack to the trunk.
DONNA
Then we agree that BOTH Die Hard and Long Kiss Goodnight are Christmas movies. Deal?
DASH
Deal.
They shake hands.
DONNA
Now let’s get out of here. We have an actual Santa to find.
Dash runs over and picks up the balloon Santa and puts it in the backseat. Donna stares at his childishness.
DASH
He’s our holiday perp.
DONNA
Get in.
Dash runs around the car and slams the car door.
DONNA (CONTINUED)
What have I told you about slamming the car door?!
DASH
It bugs you.
Dash gives her a big, lovable smile. Donna rolls her eyes and they’re off! The car speeds down the road.
FADE OUT
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CONTRASTING DIALOGUE
What I learned from this assignment; I learned that this is an effective dramatic device and that I should look to inject it into scenes. I found it useful to look for examples of this in movies.
Situation.
A group of village men have been recruited by SIS to engage with a Serbian gang, thus enabling SIS to take them down.
The men have been trained in the many skills they will need to accomplish this task; from evasive driving techniques to psychological trickery. They have recently committed a cover crime to engage Anton’s (Serbian spy/thug) interest in them (village group of recruits) as potential business partners.
Tonight the village SIS recruits are beginning the next phase of entrapment, using one of the techniques they have been taught to get Anton firmly on the hook; The Chinese Takeaway.
At The Royal Swans, village pub, Wold on Sea, Cornwall. Friday Night
Characters
JAMES
barman and Cleo’s illicit lover
CLEO
married to Caleb, owner of the Royal Swans, having a fling with James.
MAJOR BUNNY HOLMES
ex-Army intelligence, leader of the village group of men recruited by SIS
CALEB co-owner of The Royal Swans, and husband to Cleo, is on a break from the army detox unit.
SCENE
INT.CLEO’S BATHROOM FLAT ABOVE THE PUB/NIGHT
CALEB removes the top of the toilet tank and takes out a flask of alcohol, and removes the screw top. DISSOLVE TO
INT.BAR/NIGHT
JAMES
I’m going to fetch up a new keg, back in a minute, my darling. Quick, give us a kiss in the kitchen, a really naughty kiss.
CLEO
James, you are impossible; come here then.
CLEO waves James in the direction of the pub kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN/NIGHT
JAMES pulls Cleo close and reaches to turn the kitchen light off.
CLEO has a prolonged kiss that evolves into instant energetic foreplay.
INT/BAR/NIGHT
ANTON
Walks up to the bar, smacks his hand on the bar, and shouts loudly.
ANTON
Hello, hey, is anyone serving?
Cleo looks around the corner of the bar, straightens her clothing, and hisses at James.
CLEO
Crikey, it’s Anton, just as Bunny said he would show up.
JAMES
Good evening, what can I get you, sir? We haven’t seen you here before, have we? We usually know all our customers, so you must be a tourist. What are you having to drink? Are you staying in the village?
ANTON
Do you have vodka? Give me two shots and a glass of water.
I want to speak to Caleb. Send him over to my table.
JAMES
I’m sorry, he isn’t here. He will be away for some months. Can I help?
ANTON
Yes, I want to speak to Caleb.
JAMES
As I just told you he is not available, we don’t even know when he is coming back or even if he is coming back.
ANTON
Give him this number, and tell him to call his friend, Anton. My name is Anton. Got it?
Anton downs the vodka shots, one after another, and leaves.
CLEO
Phone Bunny right away, James. And don’t forget which phone to use.
SPLIT SCREEN
JAMES
It’s me. The customer came in as expected. Now what?
BUNNY
Do nothing. Wait until tomorrow. Then call Anton and tell him Caleb will see him at the bar. When he enters keep Caleb out of sight, take Anton into the kitchen, and frisk him the way you have been shown. If he asks you any questions about Anton’s sudden appearance, keep silent.
Work up from The Bittersweet of Summer’s End, The Village Fringe 2
Anna Corbett Harper
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by anna harper.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by anna harper.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by anna harper.
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KATE CONTRAST SCENE
What I learned from this assignment is that it brings it to life when it isn’t obvious and when there is more for the audience and the characters to have to deal with.
EXT. ROCK FACE – LATE AFTERNOON.
It is quite hot. They drove out, and hiked in. It is about 3 hours since they left camp. Nia and Shaunn are 2/3rds up a steep rock face, with Shaunn as the belayer for now although they take it in turns as it is a multi-pitch climb. Both are experienced Trad climbers but this is challenging.
Nia is balanced on the rock face, reaching up for a hand hold above her head. Shaunn is perched on a ledge below her, feeding out the rope.
NIA
I just think that I need to be there. Climbing.
Nia inches up the cliff face.
SHAUN
Climb on. Why? He’s not a good guy.
NIA
I don’t really know that. Maybe underneath he’s – you know – just lonely?
SHAUN
And it’s your job to keep him company?
Nia reaches a very tricky spot. Almost vertical and not much in the way of holes.
NIA
Watch me!
There is silence as she navigates the spot and Shaunn feeds out the rope carefully. She arrives at a ledge and switches belays.
NIA
Off belay. Anchored. Come on up.
Shaunn starts up to join her.
NIA
He is my Dad.
SHAUN
You don’t even know him!
NIA
Precisely! Which is why I want to stay there with him. I’m not afraid to get to know him.
SHAUN
Slack!
Nia gives him more rope.
SHAUN
Meaning?
NIA
Nothing.
SHAUN
Spit it out – I know when you have something you’re just dying to say! Watch me.
Shaunn is navigating the tough spot. Nia watches quietly. Shaunn arrives at the ledge with Nia and she continues.
NIA
You can’t really make a decision about someone til you know them, and what better way to get to know someone than live with them?
SHAUN
And?
NIA
Like you and your Mom.
SHAUN
I lived with my Mom for years.
NIA
You go on. I got this.
Shaunn goes on above her as she feeds the rope.
NIA
But you don’t know her and I don’t think you’re even trying to know her. You’re afraid to.
SHAUN
No way! I just don’t … like how she is..
NIA
Do you know what she’s like inside?
Shaunn is near the top now.
SHAUN
Not really. Shall I keep going and tie off up there? We’ve got enough rope.
NIA
Sure.
SHAUN
Tension.
Nia tightens the rope as Shaunn navigates the last part of the climb up onto the top.
SHAUN
Off belay! And now –
He loops the rope and is ready to belay her up.
SHAUN
On belay. Climb on.
NIA
Climbing.
She starts up the last part of the climb.
NIA
That’s what I mean. If you don’t get to really know someone then you don’t know why they’re like they are and how can you then decide what to do about them?
SHAUN
So you’re saying I’m afraid to know her?
NIA
Yep. And that’s why you don’t want her to come here. What if you saw her differently than you think?
SHAUN
Not likely.
Nia slips a little.
NIA
Tension!
Shaunn tightens the rope. There is a moment as Nia navigates a slightly awkward place. Then she is clear and continues up.
NIA
Dare you to get to know her! While I’m getting to Darrogh – Dad, you get to know Min.
Nia arrives at the top and scrambles over the lip to Shaunn. He reaches out and pulls her to her feet.
SHAUN
You’re on. I’ll text and invite her as soon as we get off this rock and get a signal!
Nia stands a bit breathless and triumphant. They spit in their palms and shake hands.
NIA
You got this!
SHAUN
WE got this! Look at that view!
Nia and Shaunn stand, arms around each other’s shoulders, reveling in the amazing landscape way below them.
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PS81 – Dana’s Contrast Scene
What I learned Doing This Assignment.
I returned to my 30 Day Script and rewrote the scene below.
Contrasting the dialogue to the action allowed my characters to show greater courage. They’re more concerned about remembering the title of a movie than their own deaths.
SETUP
Jack and Frank, ex-cops, are involved in a shootout in an abandoned steel mill surrounded by the last two protagonists. Frank is badly wounded.
SCENE
INT. ABANDONED STEEL MILL – NIGHT
Jack drags Frank to cover and sits him up. He checks Frank’s wounds. His partner is hit and bleeding.
JACK
We have to get you to a doctor.
Frank laughs through bloody teeth.
FRANK
With my luck, the first doctor you find will be a proctologist.
JACK
Come on.
Jack tries to hoist Frank to his feet, but Frank GROANS and puts a hand on Jack to stop him.
FRANK
Forget it. Forget it. I’m done. My fate was sealed when I crawled into bed with Oksana.
JACK
I always told you beautiful women would be your downfall.
FRANK
What makes you think you’re gonna get out of here alive?
JACK
Always the optimist.
Hill moves through the machinery, creeping up on their position.
From the opposite direction, Simon reaches the bottom of the ladder and makes his way toward Jack and Frank.
Frank grimaces and sits up with his last bit of strength, his back against a metal drum. He struggles to check the load of his .45 automatic.
FRANK
This reminds me of that movie.
Jack takes the automatic from Frank and checks to load for him, searching for the approaching men.
JACK
What movie?
FRANK
You know. The one where they charge the gunfire at the end. The western with Paul Newman and that other guy with all the moles.
Jack hands the .45 back to Frank.
JACK
Steve McQueen.
FRANK
No. McQueen was in the Wild Bunch.
JACK
I thought that was Lee Marvin.
FRANK
No. Lee Marvin starred in those Italian lasagna movies.
JACK
The ones with Charlton Heston?
FRANK
No. Heston jumped the barbed wire on the motorcycle in that prison escape movie.
JACK
Then who was in the lasagna movies with Lee Marvin?
FRANK
Clint Eastwood.
JACK
That’s who starred in the western with Paul Newman.
FRANK
That’s right. That’s my favorite movie.
JACK
Clint Eastwood had moles?
Something BANGS against metal. Frank FIRES at the sound.
Simon ducks behind a dumpster. BULLETS SPARK and RICOCHET around him.
Hill pops up and FIRES.
Jack’s back shoulder splatters blood. He HOWLS and whirls, FIRING TWICE in the same motion. He slams to the ground.
Hill creeps closer.
Jack, slumped on the ground, spies Hill approaching. He aims and fires, but the magnum CLICKS empty.
Hill kicks the weapon from Jack’s hand.
Simon walks in calmly. He looks at the two men on the ground.
Jack looks across at Frank.
Frank is slumped over, dead.
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Day 4 – Contrasting Dialogue – Assignment
Mike O – Contrast Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is juxtaposing an environment or scene location with a character’s dialogue can create a dichotomy. It can also enhance the message being delivered by the character(s) in that situation. Again, depending upon the desired effect, you can craft it either way.
[I] Write a scene where there is a contrast between the dialogue and the action/visuals in some way.
———————————-
INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT
We are looking down, into a kitchen with its granite counter tops and high-end appliances from OVERHEAD: Tarek stands next to the sink, his attention on the task at hand. Brooklyn, amidst the canisters of flour and sugar, is manning a large mixer.
TAREK (separating out egg yolks) “What do you think of the Keto diet?
Brooklyn, pouring a cup of melted butter into the mixing bowl of sugar and flour, replies,
BROOKLYN “Like any diet I suppose, it is a quick fix. (turns on table mixer) “I prefer portion control and moderation (pours in a carton of heavy cream) over diets and going without.”
TAREK (teases) “And for the rest of us who don’t have any self-control?”
BROOKLYN “There’s walking, swimming, hiking. It’s beautiful here. If I lived here, I would be exploring every trail I could find.”
TAREK (teases) “And have you?”
BROOKLYN “I don’t live here; it’s cold and snowy out there; third, it is the season for –-
she grabs a sugar cookie off the platter by her elbow and holds it out for Tarek.
— sugar and spice and everything sweet.”
With a don’t-mind-if-I-do smile, Tarek takes a bite. Brooklyn finishes what’s left of the cookie. A telling moment.
BROOKLYN “Like I was saying, portion control.”
In footie pajamas and wearing a chocolate mustache, Tyler comes tearing into the kitchen.
TYLER “See dad, Miss Brooklyn thinks like I do. (looks up at Brooklyn) Did you know there isn’t a desert I haven’t met that I don’t like.”
BROOKLYN (warm-hearted grin) “I’m with you on that.”
She kneels and the two desert aficionados high-five.
TAREK “I see that you’ve been into the fudge. Did you leave any for us?”
TYLER (thinks fast) “Two pieces, dad. One for each of you. Like Brooklyn said, portion control.”
TAREK (disapproving frown) “You ate that entire plate of… you’re kidding right? And were you eavesdropping on our conversation?”
TYLER (gotcha grin) “There’s half a plate of fudge left, and I wasn’t listening in, you got a loud voice.”
TAREK (looks to Brooklyn) “That’s a first. Whenever I ask if they’ve done their chores, they don’t hear me.” (re: Tyler) Little Freddy Fudge Face here has a sweet tooth and selective hearing.”
Tarek hands Tyler the plate of sugar cookies.
TAREK “Remember, no more than three cookies per box.”
TYLER “I know, or we will run out.”
TAREK “Portion control.”
TYLER “What about the Robinsons, they have three kids and granny Ruth lives with them.”
TAREK “Okay, okay, a cookie per person.”
Satisfied, Tyler leaves the room with the platter of cookies.
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