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Day 4 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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14 Replies
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Armand’s Characters Live!
What I learned…
“We want readers to know our characters better than everyone but their closest friends.
Characterization is the art of bringing a character to life and having us
experience the essence of who that character is on paper.The first and ongoing description of the character. B. By how we bring the character into the scene. C. Character actions and our description of those actions. D. Through the character’s dialogue. E. Through other character’s dialogue about the first character. F. Their natural environment
We individualize by seeing characters doing things and saying things, not by the author telling us about them.
We, as writers, have the opportunity to pour character into our dialogue
and description like syrup.”
TYLER, THE GHOST
A. How can I describe the character in an interesting way?
18, In a slasher movie, you would want him to get killed. And he will be.
He’s Trump-kid level of braggadocious
An old money brat for the new millennium
B. How can the character burst onto the scene?
He’s drunk, and attempts scaring his nerdy half-brother
By scaring people as a ghost
By writing ghostly messages on mirrors or walls
By touching or grabbing something that is falling, surprising other characters
C. What actions naturally fit this scene and the character?
Tyler tries to scare his half-brother, brother advices Tyler to come clean to Father about his expulsion. Father values education above everything.
D. What would a character with these traits say in this scene?
Make excuses for himself, tell others is their fault for not helping him, deflect
E. How might other characters describe this one?
Scared, cynical, smart but lazy, scared little Bambi pretending he’s the big bad wolf
F. What environment would show off who this character is?
FATHER’S STUDIO/HUNTING TROPHY GALLERY
INT. FATHER’S STUDIO – DAY
A young dead man lies on the floor. A hunting knife is lodged in his chest.
Charles, affably nerdy, enters. He screams at the gruesome discovery.
He runs towards the dead body and drops to his knees next to him. Charles starts crying, covers his face in disbelief.
CHARLES
Tyler, no!
The dead man is TYLER (18). In a slasher film, he’s the rich jerk you can’t wait to see getting killed. And he will be killed. Just not yet.
Tyler open one eye, checks on a crying Charles.
TYLER
(calmly)
Gotcha.
Tyler bursts into laughter and gets up. Tyler toys with the knife as Charles remains on the ground, shocked.
TYLER
I’m glad to see you really care about me, Charles.
CHARLES
You scared me. I thought Father found out about the stuff at school.
Tyler grabs a bottle, drinks up.
TYLER
Did you say anything to him?
Tyler points the hunting knife at Charles.
Suddenly, Charles remembers the walls are covered with hunting trophies and weapons.
CHARLES
Of course not. But you have to tell him sooner or later.
TYLER
I choose later, then.
CHARLES
You can’t hide in the manor forever.
TYLER
I’m just taking an impromptu break.
CHARLES
You were expelled!
TYLER
Relax, Father will buy the school a new library or something. I’ll be back in no time.
CHARLES
You stole a test, Tyler. From a professor.
TYLER
Attempted to steal a test. And I was just the lookout. Those two idiots were caught activating the alarm. They are the ones in trouble.
CHARLES
You like acting like the big bad wolf but you’re just Bambi. Afraid.
Tyler takes in these words for a beat. He glances out the window.
TYLER
Oh, you wanna go hunting tomorrow!?
CHARLES
I’m going home.
Charles walks out, disappointed in Tyler.
TYLER
Don’t say I don’t include you!
Tyler sips straight from the bottle.
A car enters the driveway, Tyler looks out the window.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Armand Petrikowski.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by
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Rob Bertrand’s Characters Live
What I learned: I learned that characterization is the art of bringing a character’s true essence to life, on paper.
SCENE
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
The room is a blur of solemn faces, all dressed in black, huddled in small groups. They mingle over cheap paper plates piled with homemade casseroles. No one dares talk above a whisper.
In the center of the room, stands a portrait of NORA ANDREWS. Her eyes firmly fixed on the grieving sisters on the couch.
ANNIE ANDREWS, 17, naturally pretty and intentionally unapproachable, sits alone in a prison of her own grief. Her eyes locked on the portrait of her dead mother. Annie’s pain hides a strength that she doesn’t yet know exists.
Under Annie’s arm, sits JESSICA ANDREWS, 8, an avid lover of horror movies and a self-proclaimed smart ass. Today, Jessica doesn’t feel much like talking.
ANNIE (V.O.)
As children, we’re all taught to be afraid of monsters.An ELDERLY WOMAN, scoops a steaming pile of casserole from a dish on the coffee table and plops it onto plate. She can’t bring herself to make eye contact with the girls.
ANNIE (V.O.)
They’re hiding in our bedtime stories.Laughter from the kitchen catches Annie’s attention.
ANNIE (V.O.)
Or lurking under our beds, waiting for bare feet to grab.Annie squeezes Jessica for comfort then hands her a pillow to hug. She stands and heads towards the kitchen to investigate.
ANNIE (V.O.)
We’ve all felt the presence of the boogeyman in our closet.Behind the kitchen door comes the audible murmur drunken conversation.
ANNIE (V.O.)
Yes, childhood is filled with all sorts of make-believe monsters.Annie opens the kitchen door to reveal JACK ANDREWS, 35, sloppily dressed in a wrinkly black suit, sitting at the kitchen table surrounded by his drinking buddies. Underneath the five o’clock shadow, hides a handsome, traditional father. But his grief and the alcohol has robbed him of his passion.
ANNIE (V.O.)
What no one tells you is that childhood is over the moment you realize that monsters are real.Jack doesn’t notice Annie standing in the doorway.
JACK
If I hadn’t let Annie drive, Nora would still be alive.Annie’s heart stops. Tears fill her eyes and the rage comes.
ANNIE
Fuck you!Jack realizes what he’s done. But before he can say anything, Annie storms off. Jack stands up, but knocks over some liquor bottles on the table.
JACK
God dammit, Jack. Shit. -
BOB SMITH’S CHARACTERS LIVE!
What I learned doing thhis assignment is…?
To have fun with having different ways to bring a character to life.
KURT GERRON. Portrays Kliepert in “The Blue Angel.” Kliepert is the magician, MC, and leader of the troupe that features Lola Lola. He originated the part of the Street Singer in the first production of Brecht’s “Threepenny Opera.” That’s right, he was the first to sing “Mack the Knife.” If Santa Claus were younger, clean-shaven, and Jewish, he would be Kurt Gerron with an appreciation of naughty together with nice.
INT. STUDIO SET OF “THE BLUE ANGEL” – NIGHT
At Marlene Dietrich’s request, the principal actors have gathered along with director, JOSEF von STERNBERG: Sternberg, JANNINGS, HANS ALBERS are present. They are waiting for Kurt Gerron.
STERNBERG
Gerron is always late.
KURT GERRON, scurries in, enter.
GERRON
Well, I am only two minutes late, this time.
DIETRICH
I am so thrilled to be working with all of you.
I want to take all of you out tonight in celebration.
Let’s enjoy a night on the town in the “Berlin of
Lola Lola.”
JANNINGS
Protocol dictates that such largesse should be
paid for by the star. In other words, me.
STERNBERG
What’s this about protocol? Emil, you need
to break character, this is not the schoolroom of the stodgy Professor Rath. Allow Miss Dietrich the largesse.
GIRRON
Let’s split the bill or pay by separate checks.
DIETRICH
I won’t hear of it. I am inviting, I pay. It’s my pleasure
to take you out to see “the Berlin of Lola Lola.”
GERRON
Actually, the Berlin of Marlene Dietrich.
ALL laugh.
DIETRICH
All the same. I’ll take you to the gay cabaret,
the Club Silhouette.You don’t have to be gay
to enjoy it. All the show people go there for
a good time.
GERRON
My wife and I love the drag queens.
DIETRICH
Someone else who goes there is the “Einstein
of Sex.”
GERRON
Who is that?
DIETRICH
Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld, he’s a doctor who
specializes in Sexology.
GERRON
My kind of doctor!
DIETRICH
Ahh, but first. Director von Sternberg has told
me to lose weight.
GIRRON
Better you than me.
DIETRICH
I have already taken up boxing at Sabri Mahir’s
Boxing Studion. My trainer is the Turkish Boxing
Champion, Sabri Mahir himself. You’ll
meet him and if any of you want to lose weight and
get fit, Sabri Mahir’s Boxing Studio is the place to go.
ALBERS
I play Mazeppa the strongman. It might be a
good for me to go. I bet Mazeppa would have
taken up boxing at some point. I might join.
What about you, Emil??
JANNINGS
I have already lost 100 pounds.
GERRON
You gave it to me.
DIETRICH
Time to lose the next hundred.
GERRON.
Ooooo.
DIETRICH
I was just kidding. You need to relax, Emil.
STERNBERG
Yes, you are still in character as the Professor.
By the way, I shaped the Professor after
A teacher at the Hebrew School my father
Compelled me to attend in his tyrannical
Orthodoxy.
GERRON
I think all Hebrew School teachers first
attend a school where they teach them to
be Too Serious.
STERNBERG
Maybe my teacher was also yours.
GERRON
Well, let’s get un-serious and meet this “Einstein of
Sex” and the Turkish Boxing Champion.
ALBERS
I wonder if he could beat Max Schmeling.
GERRON
Who? The “Einstein of Sex”? Just kidding.
I know you mean the Turkish Boxing Champion.
You wonder if he could beat Max Schmelling.
I want to know if he could beat Benny
Leonard.
DIETRICH
Come and ask him. Let’s go.
All exit.
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Budinscak Characters Live!
What I learned doing this assignment is:
o A fun opportunity to go overboard on your character.
o I think parts of this will find its way into my story. It didn’t start out that way, but it did give me a couple of other ideas. Thanks
INT. LAS VEGAS HOTEL – NIGHT
LOBBY
An elevator doors open, JACK oozes out and into the lobby. Dressed like he’s in Saturday Night Fever, he would have been the stand-in for Travolta, or maybe it’s the other way around.
He glides three steps and stops, tugging on his shirt collar. He looks left, then right and spins to face the elevator.
He takes one long step and he’s standing in front of the elevator doors. His foot shoots out stopping the doors from closing.
The elevator doors open, Jack steps inside. The doors close.
The elevator doors open. Jack emerges flanked by two mini-Jack’s, nephews PUCK and SAL, dressed identical to their uncle. Jack stops and the boys execute their ill-practiced spins and moves.
A CROWD gathers, hushed conversations ensue.
WOMAN 1
Is that who I think it is?
WOMAN 2
Uh huh. Phew. He moves the way I like.
WOMAN 1
Wha’d he star in?
WOMAN 2
Who cares. I’m just watching the way he makes his pants dance.
Jack SNAPS his fingers, the boys stop and hold their pose.
JACK
Ladies, I’d like to introduce you to my nephews, Puck and Sal. I didn’t want you to think these two cretins were mine. They’re not, I’m single.
Jack flashes a big smile, wider than the front grill of a 69 Dodge Charger, and much cleaner. A woman swoons, her husband catches her.
JACK
(to the husband) She should be good in three minutes. If you need any help, I’ll be in the casino.
(to Puck and Sal) Boys!
Sal and Puck snap from their poses and fall in behind their uncle. The strut to the casino.
WOMAN 2
Good luck, Mr. Travolta!
Only Jack saw the almost imperceptible hitch in his stride when the woman yelled. He waves to her without turning.
A few clap as the crowd disperses.
Jack and the boys walk by mirrors as they approach the casino. Jack chuckles at the image and attire they wear. Even the boys know disco is past its prime.
CASINO
One step after Jack, Puck and Sal cross into the casino, a very, very LARGE MAN in a suit steps in front of them blocking their way.
LARGE MAN
Get the kids outta here.
JACK
Kids? Who, these two? These guys are professional wrestlers. They’re on a minors circuit. Get that? Minors circuit. Meet the Disco Slayers?
The boys growl before bowing. Jack approves. He smiles and nods to the large man.
LARGE MAN
Last time. Get the kids outta here.
The boys flex and growl again. The large man snarls and takes a step forward.
The uncle and two nephews do a 180 and march right out the casino door.
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Janeen’s Characters Live!
What I learned doing this assignment is that this is a much easier way to get character into the scene than trying to work it artlessly into action.
I will use this scene that introduces Morgan and her mind control work:
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
Superficial Morgan leaves her mind control class chatting with her classmates. Is mind control real or is it really just about boosting confidence?
2. Ideas for the scene.
A. How can I describe the character in an interesting way?
Morgan is a high fashion model, or she could be if she looked vapid and disinterested, but her eyes are piercing, seeing into souls and finding the gut level intent of anyone she turns them on. Her face is engaged and engaging, smarter and kinder than most. Her walk more stride than runway strut. She commands rooms, conversations and respect without realizing she’s doing it and would be surprised if anyone called it out.
Wearing a large diamond ring, she commands women’s respect and men automatically envy her husband.
B. How can the character burst onto the scene?
In this case, she will be leaving a classroom.
C. What actions naturally fit this scene and the character?
Walking with other adult students as they exit her class, but she outclasses them by far.
D. What would a character with these traits say in this scene?
Morgan wants to understand to what extent mind control is real and effective. She wants to do it right. She asked the instructor a question no one else would have had the nerve to ask. Her husband has asked about it and he’ll shoot holes in anything she says if she doesn’t get it right? Does he ridicule her for believing? Of course not. He’s a writer and always goes for the details and the facts. Gavin Day is your husband? Proudly, Yes. Her own level of security takes a step lower as she is now reduced to a famous author’s wife, not Morgan Day.
E. How might other characters describe this one? Beautiful, statuesque, confident, intelligent, smart, discerning.
F. What environment would show off who this character is? A classroom where she holds her own with a well-respected professor-type. A room where her peers are clearly lesser, but not slouches. She outshines them easily even though they may be better educated, make more money and have more prestige.
3. SCENE
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
Tall and professorial, BENSON WATERMAN stands at the front of the room, fielding questions. He answers most questions with rapid dispatch and practiced clarity, but looks satisfied and eager when one student raises her hand.
MORGAN DAY is a high fashion model, or she could be if she looked vapid and disinterested, but her eyes are piercing, seeing into souls and finding the gut level intent of anyone she turns them on. Her face is engaged and engaging, smarter and kinder than most. She commands rooms, conversations, and respect without realizing she’s doing it and would be surprised if anyone called it out.
Wearing a large diamond ring, men automatically envy her husband.
Waterman nods to her in anticipation of a challenge.
MORGAN
We’re still students. To what extent is the mind control we’re trying to achieve supposed to be effective at this point?
WATERMAN
If you’re doing mind control and you truly believe that you are putting thoughts in other people’s heads, you are already effective. The confidence and assurance of the practitioner, not the receiver, is all that matters.
Morgan’s eye has a glint of mischief.
MORGAN
I think, therefore you do?
Waterman chuckles with satisfaction.
WATERMAN
Exactly as you say. We’ll see you all next week. Do your homework.
Waterman quickly exits the room.
Morgan walks from the room with other adult students, but she outclasses them despite their exalted job titles, Ivy League educations, and pompous demeanors.
STUDENT 1
You just flat out asked Waterman if the method he’s spent his life developing actually works.
Morgan laughs in amusement.
MORGAN
I just asked him if what we’re doing works yet. My husband asked me that after class last week so I told him I’d find out when I would be an effective Waterman practitioner.
STUDENT 1
Is he afraid you’ll have him flapping his wings like a chicken?
MORGAN
No, he’s a writer and he wants all the facts about everything.
STUDENT 1
You mean Gavin Day is your husband?
Morgan becomes disappointed and thoughtful as they head for the exit.
MORGAN
Yes.
STUDENT 1
Does he make fun of the Waterman Method?
MORGAN
(shaking it off)
No, of course not. The Waterman Method is real or we wouldn’t all be here, paying a ridiculous amount to take his class. We’d just stick to the book and pretend we thought it was nonsense if it wasn’t real, right?
STUDENT 1
(chagrinned, but laughing)
You’re right, of course. You always are.
Reaching the exit door of the building, Morgan touches Student 1’s arm as she heads into the revolving door.
MORGAN
See you next week. Practice!
Student 1 follows her through the door, watching with admiration as Morgan strides effortlessly down the sidewalk with all the looks of a model, but no hint of a runway strut.
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PS 80 Michelle Damis Characters Live!
What I learned from this is that free writing an asking questions can get some creative juices going, but for me it also opens up new wormholes that I have to choose which way I’m going to go. I also learned that I don’t think my other characters are going to be nearly as interesting as this one.
INT. TEDS “LAIR” ABANDONED BLDG – NIGHT
V.O- “Correction, the year was 2022. 2022, Kind of rolls off your tongue doesn’t it? 2022 and I was so bored. I was the worlds most bored Vampire. (close-up of a very handsome 23 year old young man) Yep, that’s me. I’ve been 23 years old for centuries. I’ve read, I’ve listened I’ve watched history repeat itself over and over-no one ever learns, I’m convinced humans can’t. You know I even had a T-shirt in the 1970s that said “Been there, done that”, it was one of my favorites. I’m sorry, you probably haven’t heard a word I’ve said since “Vampire”. Yes, I’m a vampire. And there are so many misconceptions about us. My God- that damn Twilight series alone, seriously “sparkles”? Anyway, for example did you know that a vampire can’t commit suicide? (show various scenes of him trying) Literally CAN NOT, trust me I’ve tried- I gave that up so long ago. I’m also proof that we can’t be bored to death. “
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Halloween Scene. Characterization. CS is normally an obedient China doll so she surprises Ibrahim. There is an underbelly and irony of secrets between Ibrahim and BB. The messy format is messing up my mind. I tried to bring it in from free Arc, it didn’t work, and so I ended with a short excerpt from my novel. I better use these character assignments to improve and finish the novel and then write the screenplay properly in the right format. I do understand the necessity of “bursting onto a scene” and adding costume and character for visual effects and will keep working on it.
INT. TUDOR TOWER – EVENING
Ibrahim warms himself by his historic Tudor fireplace. He dyed his hair black last night to hide his senior salt. Time to put more pepper in his life. He wears enormous orange slippers in honor of Halloween evening. As he opens the door, Aaanadi is the first one in, waddling in an orange jumpsuit with a puffy pumpkin hat topped by a green stalk and a golden halo. She flaps golden wings and smiles joyfully.
AANADI
I’m one and a half and I can light up and fly!
CS is dressed as a witch, looking like a kid because she is 4’9” and around 90 pounds ever since she got long haul COVID. She hides her portable oxygen under her Halloween mask. She wears a skeleton pant suit that used to be tight. Their costumes make Ibrahim smile.
IBRAHIM
CS, you look as young and happy as your trick or treating toddler.
CS puts down a knapsack and adjusts the oxygen in her nose to breathe better.
CS
I am not playing like a kid, but I like this disguise. Just don’t give me or Aanadi candy.”
IBRAHIM
Joe?
CS
He has to cover today, tomorrow, and all week because thirty percent of the firefighters will be put on unpaid leave because they won’t get the vax. Joe is double vaxxed and recovered so even though he theoretically left in summer 2020, he is always ready to get paid overtime.
IBRAHIM
Heroes. Front line workers. He worked so hard on the Summit condo collapse.
I’m sorry for your loss. People never get over stuff like that. I would die if I lost Joe.
! CS
I still have a lot to live for but you are right, the loss was devastating. Hurricane Ida killed Sandrine, Omar, and my faith. I want to divest completely from the EvergreenEnergy Company..
CS
Big mistake. The future is in renewables. You set that company up with Rodney. It is Kisele’s and we are talking about his trust fund.
Ibrahim wonders why and how CS got so opinionated. He thought her belligerence was limited to boxing.
IBRAHIM
Litonya and I discussed it. She was never more than a consultant for EE. Her heart is made of stone and her body is glued to her rocks. I will get mentors in environmental engineering to help Kisele with his ecoboats but my portfolio goes completely to STEMGARCHS.”
CS fidgets with the black lace over her witch eyes. “They are a new and controversial company. They may have helped start the pandemic.”
Ibrahim breaks out of his formal prose, “Shit! Don’t tell me you are persuaded by Internet misinformation.”
“Most people agree that COVID was a bioweapon and companies like STEMGARCHS are at fault. I want nothing to do with anyone or anything that would spread this horrific virus that has ruined my life and others.”
As she finishes her sentence, Ibrahim opens the door. Her husband Joe bursts in, dressed as a real firefighter, accompanied by his adopted father, BB, who ironically has spread the virus with his special sanitizer, but that is a secret he and Ibrahim will never confess. Joe picks up his cute little orange pumpkin and covers her round face with kisses. BB winks at Ibrahim, a little out of character.
Ibrahim takes control, “Happy Halloween everyone. BB help me organize some treats.” As CS and Joe pay attention to their little darling, Ibrahim and BB prepare pumpkin pie with whipped cream and hot apple cider. Everyone sits by the fire indulging in these treats.
Joe looks at his watch, “I gotta go back to the firehouse tonight. On call for the next week. The city is short of ambulance drivers, EMS technicians, police, sanitation workers—you name it.”
Ibrahim shakes his head, “We are lucky to have these vaccines. Long live Big Pharma.”
Joe objects, “I agree, sort of, but many of my colleagues think there are long term bad effects of getting vaccinated every six months. Not sure how I will feel after my fourth booster.”
BB watches, listens, and cleans up, a man of few words. “If you have to work for the next week or so, I will drive CS and Aanadi back to New Paltz tonight. We should leave soon.”
Ibrahim brings out books and toys, “Here are some Halloween treats for the ride. Drive safely.”
Aanadi is magnetic enough to focus attention on her needs and wants, hiding the nefarious underbelly of what is really going on. Joe gulps down a second piece of pie, kisses his family goodbye and leaves to serve the city. BB packs CS and Aanadi into the back of the car and is as quiet as a chauffeur, driving quickly and carefully for the next 90 minutes, until he delivers them to their solar house and parks himself in the huge garage where he makes his nest inside a boat they are working on. He hasn’t slept in a real bed for years. Even in his dreams, he never feels guilty.
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Jodi’s Characters Live! – Day 4
Our goal, If done well, is to expound on our character descriptions with details and depth, which can help the reader or audience go on an emotional ride with the character throughout the script.
EXT. CANYON FIELD – DAY
Karen Bailey’s car is crush and dented at the crime scene. The sloped field is sixty yards from the curved highway. Yellow crime scene tape block any unauthorized people from approaching the scene. DETECTIVE SALT AND DETECTIVE MILLER, along with the local CORONER, JEB are diligently working the crime scene. Show tunes are blasting in this canyon, which creates a loud echo. The show tunes and the echo get louder with each second.
EXT. CANYON ROAD SHOULDER – SAME
A police car pulls up blasting the show tunes, the car stops, the canyon is quiet and peaceful. PAM KARRAS, a police officer, steps out of the car. If in a perfect world Pam would have loved to be a hoofer, singing and dancing are her passions, but unfortunately she’s tone deaf with two left feet. Whip smart with piercing eyes, she has follow-up questions before you’ve even finished your sentence. Her handicap is often failing to read subtext, which can be a challenge in her line of work.
EXT. CANYON FIELD – SAME
Ducking under the perimeter tape Pam heads towards the wreckage, the two officers meet her and give her the rundown on the findings so far.
PAM
What’ve we got?
DETECTIVE SALT
It’s a rollover, the occupant is deceased, Jeb is examining the site, we should have more information soon.
Detective Salt walks towards Coroner Jeb.
DETECTIVE SALT
Jeb, what’ya got?
The Coroner glances Detective Salt’s way, smiles and addresses Pam as she approaches him.
CORONER JEB
Jeez, that pin’s all you got for your twenty mark?
PAM
Budget cuts, what can I say.
CORONER JEB
That’s our local girl scout, taking one for the team.
Detective Miller chuckles quietly.
DETECTIVE SALT
She should have at least gotten a goody two shoes badge.
They all laugh, they are all friends.
PAM
Funny, funny, funny, you guys are hilarious. What’ya got Jeb?
CORONER JEB
(Still a little amused)
Okay, Switching gears. The deceased is a young girl, without further examination she looks to be in her mid-teens. I see trauma to her head from the car rolling, but her death was probably caused by her broken neck. It appears there’s internal bleeding.
Pam nervously downs Peanut M&M’s while listening to him. The Coroner looks at her curiously.
CORONER JEB
Good huh?
PAM
Peanuts are my jam. Can’t get better than wrapped up in chocolate. Such a baby, I never get used to this.
Pam eats more M&M’s. Jeb nods in agreement.
PAM
I’ll quit when I do.
CORONER JEB
Yep.
(beat)
Okay. Once you’re finished, let me know, we can’t know specifics without the autopsy.
PAM
Of course, thanks, Jeb.
The Coroner walks past her. A second thought for Pam…
PAM
(loudly)
The ambulance been called?
CORONER JEB
(Shouting back to her)
I think one of your Officer’s took care of that.
PAM
(Shouting to the Detectives)
Who called the ambulance?
The Detectives look at each other, speaking in low voices.
PAM
(Straining to hear them)
Hey, I flunked mind reading in High School, someone tell me the ambulance has been called!
DETECTIVE SALT
Miller, I asked you to do ONE thing!
DETECTIVE MILLER
I’m on it, I’m on it.
Detective Miller immediately gets on his phone and makes the call.
DETECTIVE SALT
Pam, this is curious.
Detective Salt leans into the car as Pam approaches him and his find.
INT. KAREN’S CAR – DAY
DETECTIVE SALT
A wood chip. This is odd. There is nothing anywhere else in the car that it broke away from. Where did it come from?
PAM
Is that possibly what broke the window? I didn’t see any boulders around that could have broken it during the rolling. But just to make sure, comb the pathway of where the car rolled for any rocks, boulders or stones.
Have Miller brush every single inch of this car for fingerprints. No stone unturned. Got it?
Pam searches the glove compartment, she pulls out Karen’s registration and the pamphlet the clinic gave Karen earlier that morning.
PAM
Okay. We’ve got a lead here. I’ll check it out.
EXT. KAREN’S CAR – SAME
Pam bags the evidence and starts walking away from the car, peering carefully at the ground.
PAM
We need to find what was at the end of that wood chip.
EXT. CANYON ROAD SHOULDER – SAME
At that moment the obnoxiously intruding town REPORTER SHERRY, exits her car.
EXT. CANYON FIELD – DAY
Pam heads towards her from the field where Karen’s car is.
PAM
Salt, look for signs of force before the ambulance gets here. What can I help you with Sherry?
REPORTER SHERRY
Looks like a mishap here? What happened?
She continues to walk towards Pam and is close to the block off tape.
PAM
Do not pass the tape, this is a crime scene.
REPORTER SHERRY
That’s exactly why I’m here. I want the who, what, when, where, why and how of it.
PAM
You know I’m not going to give you any information. You’re wasting your time, go on back down the hill now.
REPORTER SHERRY
I can stand here if I want to, it’s a free country, I have my rights.
PAM
Stand all you want, but if you pass this tape, I will arrest you for tampering with a crime scene.
REPORTER SHERRY
You do and I’ll have the Mayor take your badge.
PAM
You threatening a Police Officer?
(beat)
I’m scared
(beat) Now off with you!
REPORTER SHERRY
You’re gonna be sorry Pam Karras! You can’t keep me from getting the facts.
As she is being threatened, Pam slowly walks towards Sherry while taking her handcuffs out. The Reporter turns and scurries behind her car. Pam stops and crosses her arms, staring Sherry down. Sherry crosses her arms. Pam proceeds slowly again toward Sherry and yanks on the handcuffs. Sherry gets in her car, and drives away. Pam starts chuckling, then turns and walks back towards the accident scene.
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Richard’s Characters Live!
What I learned from this is… is that it helps to use all available character tools to project your characters. Even small things like bystander reactions can project traits of your character.
EXT. HILLTOP – MORNING
A dozen men stand around the kneeled and bloodied TRAITOR, arguing amongst themselves.
The voices lower to silence as a warhorse comes to a fast halt in front of Traitor.
A Husky, heavily bearded unit, MALACHI O’DOHERTY (30s), dismounts and steps forward. As he stares down the men you can’t help thinking unhinged but somewhat focused.
As he stares at Traitor and steps closer, the other men back-step.
TRAITOR
I beg of you, O’Doherty. I killed the Englishman at Derry. Seven of them!
Malachi stares at a set of twins, GAVIN and SIMON O’DOHERTY (late 20s). Through and through feral warriors.
GAVIN
Too much chatter.
SIMON
Even his wife, the whore, thinks so.
Spits on Traitor.
Shane arrives.
Gavin punches Traitor, whose nose cracks and blood pours.
MALACHI
You led this man against Derry, Shane?
A sympathetic Shane and Traitor lock eyes.
SHANE
Aye.
Malachi waits for more communication…
MALACHI
And?
SHANE
And what?
MALACHI
Did he kill seven Englishmen?
SHANE
That he did.
Malachi getting frustrated.
MALACHI
Do you think he’s a traitor?
SHANE
He’ll be shamed forever.
VOICE FROM CROWD
Kill him!
Only one other man brave enough to shout his agreement.
Malachi glances at a few of his men, then at Shane.
Shane’s stone-face offers no suggestions.
ANOTHER VOICE IN CROWD
Kill the traitorous bastard!
A few more men voice their agreement.
Malachi’s confliction displayed by his lack of action.
Again, he and Shane lock eyes.
Shane’s expression has not changed.
Malachi still hesitant. His two younger brothers nod their agreement to the killing… but Malachi still takes in the situation.
CAHIR
Kill him.
All eyes fall onto clan leader CAHIR O’DOHERTY (60s). Both he and his horse more presentable than the rest of the men.
They were the words Malachi was waiting for. He steps forward, retrieves a dagger from his sleeve and slices Traitor’s throat.
He looks over his men.
MALACHI
Let that be a message to all!
Shane starts to walk away before Malachi even finishes the sentence.
CAHIR
To the front-line.
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Elizabeth’s Characters Live!
What I learned: Appreciating Hal’s focused guidance, as always.
INT. LINDA’S HOUSE – KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
The sewing’s metastasized to the kitchen that Ed and Mike scan, looking for a place to sit:
A runner of fabric on the floor. Suit pieces draping the cupboards. Bright-colored shards (and the flowers they’ll become) splattering the table like a Pollock painting.
SUSAN
(Agitated)
We should move to the porch.
ED
Sure. And, uh, is—
MIKE
(Reading Ed’s thoughts re: Mark)
Of course not.
Grace straddles fabric as she lifts a snack-filled tray.
SUSAN
My dad will be here. He promised!
With a glance out a window, bright as we’ve never seen—
CHRIS
But you know who actually is!
Grace shrieks.
SUSAN
OhMyGod! Aunt Jewels! Aunt Jewels!!
Grace practically drops the tray as she frog-leaps over patterned-pinned fabric. Bolts to the door.
INT./EXT. LINDA’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM/PORCH – CONTINUOUS
Everyone spills out around a PRESENCE that has filled the porch. Peach and pink and pea-green in tea-shades, here’s:
JEWELS, 68. 60’s-bedeckled (inside and out) with perfect plump to envelop Susan in a gentle-firm hug that could dissolve a diamond.
JEWELS
Susan.
MIKE
(With meaning)
It is so great to see you.
JEWELS
AHHH! Michael!
As she envelops him, too—
JEWELS
I’m gonna get you married!
ED
(To Christopher)
This is—?
CHRISTOPHER
The minister. And the great aunt that everyone wished they had. But we did.
(And)
She gave me my first piece of gum.
GRACE
(Still in the hug)
She taught me to drive!
Noticeably more settled, Mike pulls out barely enough to—
MIKE
(Sotto to Ed)
Linda can’t stand her.
JEWELS
(Pulls Mike back in)
Now, stop that.
Jewels releases Grace and Mike. Greets the rest with her kinkajou-eyes. And we hear her—
JEWELS
(kookaburra’s laugh)
Christopher! Those glasses!
Feel the personification of a joy that Ed has never known as she embraces Christopher.
The way this woman shines—and shares it. If there’s something she ingested, you can’t help but want to swallow it, too.
(IN A LATER SCENE?): Blind as a bat without the tea shades she can never find, Jewels has an interior sight you could never hide from. From which she projects the best of everyone out into the world.
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What I learned doing this assignment is I didn’t know there were so many ways to introduce a character. I always thought it was in the physical character description. But now I know you can introduce characters through dialogue, environment and action.
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Pablo’s Character’s Live!
A. How can I describe the character in an interesting way?
She has to come off as timid to other characters but clever and tough to the audience.
B. How can the character burst onto the scene?
I’d like to have Irma down on her luck from the very beginning. But I also want to show her resilience. I’m thinking that she is at the store about to pay for groceries but realizes that her wallet is empty. We would later find out that Ricardo had stolen the cash. But she doesn’t leave empty handed. She tells a white lie that it is to feed the members at a church function. She is one of the only people at her church.
C. What actions naturally fit this scene and the character?
She is providing for her family. Constantly. And she is a devout Catholic.
D. What would a character with these traits say in this scene?
Bible passages about generosity. Phrases like: “God willing.” Or “Thanks be to God.” But she never pleads or begs.
E. How might other characters describe this one?
Meek, humble, docile.
F. What environment would show off who this character is?
She lives in a poor barrio. She goes to work, school to pick up her kids, church and home. Basically everyday.
I’d like her devout Catholicism to be a big part of her personality but having to break biblical rules right off the bat.
Irma, a young mother of two though you wouldn’t guess it. Bright as a diamond. Strong as one too. Held together in a delicate frame. Her heart belongs to her children. Her soul belongs to the Lord. A cashier rings up her groceries as she desperately rummages through her purse after she discovers no cash in her wallet.
Cashier: 1,263.59 pesos.
Irma: I must have left the money back at the church.
The cashier does not show any sympathy as he looks over all the items.
Irma: Do you think I can leave my information and come back at another time?
The cashier shakes his head. A line begins to form behind Irma.
Irma: You see, there’s a church function at San Ignacio this week and I’m in charge of bringing the food.
The cashier gives a deep sigh and he looks through all the items.
Irma: If you could just print out a receipt for the items, then I can come back tomorrow to pay the bill.
A manager steps in. A jolly older gentleman with a crucifix resting in his chesthair.
Manager: She’s good for it.
The cashier shrugs and prints out two receipts and hands one to Irma.
Irma: Thank you, Pedro.
Pedro: Don’t mention it. How are the boys?
Irma: A handful. And your family?
Pedro: They’re doing well, thank the Lord.
Irma: Speaking of which, I’d better get this to the church. I’ll stop by tomorrow with what I owe.
Pedro smiles softly and nods.
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Amy’s Characters Live!
What I learned doing this assignment is the way you describe your character can either make the reader want to keep reading or make them want to throw it in the trash.
Note: I am late posting this assignment. It is the same scene I wrote for Day 10 because it’s the first scene where Andrea shows up and it seems to work for both assignments.
INT. – NEWS DESK – DAY
ANDREA RICHARDSON, (35) peers into a mirror and scrunches up her face. She is in her happy place, behind the anchor desk, where her life’s purpose is and most of her self-worth lies.
ANDREA
Ick!
She fixes her lipstick and rights a stray hair, then smiles a satisfied smile.
ANDREA
All better!
FLOOR MANAGER (O.S.)
Going live in 30.
Andrea quickly slips the mirror under the desk. Her brow furrows as she studies her script.
FLOOR MANAGER
In 5-4-3-
The floor manager points to Andrea.
She plasters the smile back on her face and looks directly into the camera.
ANDREA
Good evening and welcome to WBEN’s 5 News at Noon. Breaking at this hour, the late David Miller’s painting entitled “Love Unrequited” was stolen from the Johnston City Art Museum.
Andrea turns to the monitor behind her on the set.
ANDREA
With me now is the museum’s curator, Seth Meyers. Seth, thank you for joining me.
INT. MUSEUM – DAY
SETH MEYERS stands in front of a blank wall.
SETH
You are very welcome, Andrea. You’re looking very pretty today.
INT. – NEWS DESK – DAY
ANDREA
Uh, thank you. Seth, this extraordinary painting was valued at 4 million dollars, correct?
INTERCUT CONVERSATION
SETH
That’s correct, Andrea. This was David Miller’s last painting before he passed away. It was a portrait of Sadie Wilson, the woman who was the love of his life. Sadly, his love was unrequited, thus the title of the painting, ‘Unrequited Love.”
ANDREA
Seth-
SETH
Andrea, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you and all your viewers in on a secret of mine. I too have unrequited love. It’s you, Andrea.
LAUGHTER CAN BE HEARD in the studio.
Andrea stifles laughter herself.
ANDREA
Well. I understand you’re working with my husband, Detective Richards to solve this case. Is that correct?
Seth’s shoulders slump.
SETH
Oh. That’s your husband?
ANDREA
Seth, tell me. Have you gotten any leads on who might have taken the painting?
SETH
No yet. Are you happy?
Andrea chokes but quickly recovers.
ANDREA
Um, have you determined when the painting was stolen? I understand you discovered it missing when you opened the museum this morning.
SETH
I have a surprise for you.
Seth begins to SING A LOVE SONG.
More LAUGHTER FROM THE STUDIO.
Andrea looks at her hands and seems to talk to them.
ANDREA
Oh, dear.
She looks back up at the camera.
The floor manager drags a finger across his neck to signal to Andrea to wrap up the interview.
ANDREA
No.
Andrea turns back to the monitor.
More SINGING.
ANDREA
Seth? We’re still on the air. We need to focus now.
Seth stops singing and hangs his head.
ANDREA
Thank you. I’ll ask again, do you know when the painting was stolen?
SETH
Well, it was here when I left last night.
ANDREA
What about the security cameras, Seth?
Seth suddenly looks nervous.
SETH
Uh…There’s nothing on them.
ANDREA
Really? There’s nothing on the security cameras, Seth?
SETH
No, there is not.
Seth sees something or someone.
SETH
Gotta go!
He walks out of the camera shot, but he can be HEARD SINGING.
Andrea stares at the monitor for a second.
She turns to the camera.
ANDREA
Uh, thank you, Seth. Next up, a preview of the weather.
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Jennifer’s Characters Live!
WHAT I LEARNED:
I’m seeing how critical every element of a scene is to propel the story forward.
INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA — DAY
Jessica does service project (chocolate truffle fundraiser for children’s charity). She literally forces a low-level (rankwise) scholarship competitor out of helping so she looks better because it’s easier to pick on the “little guy” rather than a true peer. Amanda notices and defends the competitor’s actions, noticing that the competitor isn’t likely to outrank either of them in the scholarship competition. Jessica starts preparing for next “achievement” while still at event.
INT. SCHOOL CAFETERIA — DAY
Crack of dawn. Piles and piles of fancy boxes of chocolates cover lunch tables marked with letters of the alphabet. Dressed in a military-style top, JESSICA stands tall organizing papers and checking off items on a to-do list like she’s the most important person in any room and is exasperated by the presence of every other human on the planet.
Several bleary-eyed students place yet more chocolates in neat piles, including CHRISTIAN, a competitor in the scholarship competition, and JILLIAN, Jessica’s next-door neighbor who is a quiet, dark soul and a sophomore.
CHRISTIAN (classmate/competitor)
(placing huge stack of boxes on a table, looking like he can’t handle it)
Like this?
JESSICA
Christian, you’re hardly doing what I asked you to. This stack needs to go over in the M pile. EMMM. What would people think if they couldn’t find their orders? I’m not going to look like a fool because you don’t do your job.
CHRISTIAN
(grudgingly takes stack from one table to the one Jessica designated) Your will be done, milady.
JESSICA
(oblivious of the snark)
We have to get this done early or it will take too long to fulfill orders. This is for the *children*, Christian. They can’t benefit from our donation if people don’t pay, and they won’t pay if we can’t find their orders for them.
Christian continues to take boxes to the tables.
JESSICA
(to herself)
Must I always be the one to plan everything? This better win me points with the scholarship judges.
JILLIAN
(approaches Jessica, speaks near silently)
Where should I put these?
JESSICA
What are you even saying? Speak, speak!
JILLIAN
(timidly)
The bags to put the candies in? Where do they go?
JESSICA
At the table, Jillian. Where else? Someone approaches the table, we make sure what they’ve ordered, we grab a bag, we fulfill the order.
Jillian nods and takes a stack of bags to the table.
JESSICA
(under her breath)
Why is this hard? There are actual challenges in life, people.
(turns toward Christian)
Christian, what are you doing there? How can you be taking college calculus as a junior and not know how to follow the simplest of instructions. Honestly.
AMANDA
(approaches Jessica wearing a t-shirt reflecting the local symphony)
Leadership suits you. Take it easy on these folks? They’re helping you look better for the scholarship committee.
JESSICA
You know full well I’m doing this to raise money for children’s cancer research.
(points at sign indicating this)
AMANDA
Sure, the cash will go to a good cause, and the work you put in here will help you out too in the scholarship competition. I assume that’s why you’re doing this? What do you care about kids’ cancer?
JESSICA
(infuriated but trying to keep her cool)
I volunteered at the children’s hospital two summers ago.
AMANDA
You became fervently passionate about helping kids when your dad was running for re-election again and helped him stay our trusty mayor for another four years? Noble of you.
JESSICA
Don’t you have somewhere to be? Why else would you be here so early?
AMANDA
I help junior band members master their instruments?
(holds up multiple musical instrument cases)
JESSICA
Slumming it, eh? I assume you should be at the symphony wowing everyone as their clarinet prodigy du jour.
AMANDA
I actually like to give back, sweetie? I’ll leave you to your points-getting.
(exits)
JESSICA
Jillian, that goes on the F table, not the Q!
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