-
Day 5 Assignment
Reply to post your assignment.
-
10 Replies
-
Rob Bertrand’s Set Ups and Payoffs
What I learned: Another good lesson reinforcing the importance of solid setups and payoffs. It was fun to use the set up and payoff in one scene, as opposed to setting up early, then paying off in a later scene.
Annie Andrews – Protagonist
Basic character traits: Sarcastic, quick tempered, fragile teenager who aches for acceptance.
Subtext: Hiding Something. (She’s gay.)Jocelyn Wilcox – Side Character
Basic character traits: Free Spirited, Rebellious, Seductive
Subtext: Seducing InfluenceDanny Laplante – Antagonist
Basic character traits: Traumatized, delusional, Liar, who’s dangerous.
Subtext: Plotting/SchemingINT. ANNIE’S ROOM – DAY
CLOSE ON Annie’s face as a makeup brush puts the finishing touches on the perfect smokey eye. Music plays from a blue tooth speaker.
Holding the brush, is JOCELYN WILCOX, 17. Her pink hair, nose ring and punk rock t-shirt hint at a part time rebel. A joint hangs seductively from her lips.
The girls sit facing each other on Annie’s bed, by an open window.
ANNIE
Wait…You broke up? You were supposed to be my double?JOCELYN
Fuck, Dylan. I’m done. Like, for reals this time.ANNIE
Dude! This is what…split number seven?JOCELYN
Whatever! I mean it. He’s such a momma’s boy. It’s gross, actually. Always comparing me to his mom.
(mocking)
Make my sandwich this way. Fold my underpants that way. Touch my penis like she does…ANNIE
Stop!As Annie laughs, Jocelyn leans back and checks her work.
JOCELYN
Okay…crisis adverted. Promise me you’ll stay off those makeup tutorials?Annie lifts a hand mirror and admires her work.
ANNIE
I said, God damn! You are a freaking artist.JOCELYN
It’s easy…when the canvas is gorgeous.Annie blushes.
ANNIE
You gonna let me hit that?A flirtatious smile on Jocelyn’s face.
JOCELYN
I’m thinking about it…For a moment it’s awkward.
Jocelyn hands Annie the joint. She takes a puff then blows the smoke out the window, through a toilet roll stuffed with dyer sheets.
Annie feels Jocelyn’s gaze. Can’t bring herself to make eye contact.
ANNIE
Okay…hear me out. My dad’s got to work tonight. I’m thinkin’, you…me….a veggie pizza? This dank weed and some netflix?
(realizes)
Oh shit! He’ll be here soon, I better cancel…Vibration from Annie’s phone. Her screen fills up with a picture of a ruggedly handsome, blonde athlete.
Jocelyn scoops up Annie’s phone and reads the text message.
DANNY (TEXT)
See you soon!JOCELYN
Oh my God! Is this him?Annie shrugs.
ANNIE
Yeah.JOCELYN
He’s hot! Oh…you are so going!Jocelyn furiously types a response before Annie can stop her.
ANNIE
What are you doing!?ANNIE (TEXT)
Can’t wait!Annie rips her phone out of Jocelyn’s hand.
JOCELYN
You’ll thank me for this, later.ANNIE
You bitch!JOCELYN
How’d you meet him, again?ANNIE
He hit me up on Snap.JOCELYN
You’re dating a Snap Stranger?ANNIE
He’s…Well, he’s not a stranger, really. We’ve been talking a few months. Just as friends! He got me through a rough patch after my mom. You know…when you were in Europe. Having a blast…JOCELYN
Then you owe it to him. At least this one date.ANNIE
I don’t want to go without you and Dylan. Fuck it, I’m cancelling.The doorbell.
Jocelyn bolts for the door, with Annie in hot pursuit.
LIVING ROOM – DAY
Jocelyn hides behind the door as Annie holds her breath.
JOCELYN
(whispers)
You got this!Annie’s trembling hand turns the doorknob and opens the door to reveal.
DANNY LAPLANTE, 17, black greasy hair and a bad complexion, wearing a rumpled t-shirt most likely pulled from a dirty hamper. His skinny body, the polar opposite of the picture on Annie’s phone. In his hands, a bouquet of gas station flowers.
ANNIE
Uh…can I help you?DANNY
Annie, it’s me. Danny.Annie is confused.
ANNIE
Wait..what?DANNY
Uh…yeah. I can explain…ANNIE
Are you…are you catfishing me, Danny?DANNY
What? No…no, of course not. It’s just…Well, I knew you wouldn’t give me the time of day if you really knew what I looked like. I wanted you to get to know me…for the real me, you know?Annie shakes her head.
DANNY
Listen…most girls are only into me for my money. I just wanted…It’s just…I wanted to connect with you mentally, first. Please. Please give me a chance?ANNIE
Give me a sec. Okay?DANNY
Sure. Yeah. No problem.Annie closes the door.
ANNIE
(whispers)
Abort. Abort. Abort.Jocelyn looks through the peephole.
JOCELYN
(whispers)
Aww, he bought you flowers.ANNIE
(whispers)
Do I look like the type of girl that likes flowers?Jocelyn stifles a giggle.
JOCELYN
(whispers)
What’s the harm in going to the fair with him?ANNIE
(whispers)
If I go…you go with me.JOCELYN
(whispers)
Jessica and I will follow from a distance. Things go south, we swoop in.ANNIE
(whispers)
You better!JOCELYN
(whispers)
I got you, Boo.Annie opens the door. Danny waits nervously, biting a hangnail.
ANNIE
Okay, I’ll be right out.Danny shoves the flowers in her face.
CUT TO:
-
Amy’s Setup/Payoff
What I learned doing this assignment is that to some degree setups and payoffs arise almost organically in the storytelling process.
Andrea
Basic character traits: well-spoken, image conscience, playful, competitive
Want/Need: Wants to become a network anchor, wants Josh and her kids back, needs to feel validated
Paradoxes: Wants to be a good wife and mother but also wants a demanding career
Secret: She once gave a co-worker the wrong directions to a story location so that she could beat her to the story
Flaw: She can be selfish
Special: She was the ugly duckling at school until her braces came off and her acne went away, then she became one of the popular girls.
Subtext: Concealing
Josh
Basic character traits: inquisitive, honest to a fault, dad jokes, his kids’ biggest cheerleader
Want/need: Wants to do right by the people in his life, needs to feel like he’s number one to his partner
Paradoxes: He is a hardcore rule follower, tough on crime, but also a softie when it comes to his family
Secret: He once hid the details of a crime to keep a family from being torn apart.
Flaw: Has a temper
Special: He comes from a long line of men who were notoriously good at solving crimes.
Subtext: polite
INT. – UNIVERSITY LAB – DAY
Professor Smitty tinkers with the supercollider.
PROFESSOR SMITTY
Ah! That’s it!
He flips the power switch and the machine comes to life.
Suddenly, he seems to remember something and quickly leaves the room.
The machine gets loud and suddenly…
Andrea pops out of the machine. She’s disoriented.
ANDREA
Professor Smitty? Matt? What happened? Where did everybody go?
Andrea picks up her phone. She punches a few buttons, but she’s having trouble.
ANDREA
What’s wrong with this thing?
She spots a landline phone on a desk. She rushes over to pick it up. She dials a number
ANDREA
Hello? Barbara?… It’s Andrea. Something went wrong with the story. I lost Matt. And the professor… No, this is not a prank… Hello? Barbara?
Andrea takes the phone from her ear and stares at it, bewildered.
INT. – HALLWAY – DAY
Andrea slips out of the lab as Professor Smitty is coming down the hall. He’s looking down at some papers and totally misses her.
EXT. – SCIENCE LAB/STREET – DAY
Andrea bursts through the doors and runs to the street.
She looks around and appears lost.
A taxi drives by. Andrea stops it and gets in.
INT. – TAXI – DAY
ANDREA
WBEN, please.
EXT. – STREET/WBEN – DAY
Andrea jumps out of the taxi.
She goes to the door and tries her electronic key, but it doesn’t work.
She picks up the phone and waits.
ANDREA
Bob! It’s Andrea. My key isn’t working. Can you let me in?… No, this isn’t a joke. Bob, let me in!
A LOUD CLICK IS HEARD.
ANDREA
What is going on?
She turns back to the street and starts walking towards the parking garage.
INT. PARKING GARAGE – DAY
Andrea looks around for her car but becomes very confused when she can’t find it.
She gives up and walks back out.
EXT. – ANDREA’S HOME – DAY
A taxi pulls up to Andrea’s home. She gets out and runs up the walkway.
She puts her key in the door, but it doesn’t work.
She rings the bell.
ANDREA
Josh, my key isn’t working. Can you let me in?
The door opens. It’s Josh. He turns pale at the sight of her.
JOSH
Andrea?
Andrea brushes past him and into the house.
INT. – ANDREA’S HOME – FOYER – DAY
Andrea looks around. Everything is different.
ANDREA
What have you done to the house, and why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?
JOSH
Where have you been?
ANDREA
I was at work. Something went wrong. I went back in time. Why are you home on a Wednesday?
JOSH
Something went wrong? It’s Saturday.
CHLOE/BENJAMIN (O.S.)
MOM!
Chloe and Benjamin tear across the room and embrace their mother. Chloe starts to cry.
CHLOE
We thought you were dead.
ANDREA
What?
BENJAMIN
Where have you been?
ANDREA
What’s wrong with everyone? Why did you think I was dead? I was just taking a stroll through the past, but I’m back now.
JOSH
You were strolling through the past for a whole year?
ANDREA
What do you mean a whole year?
JOSH
You disappeared on November 18, 2021.
ANDREA
What day is today?
JOSH
November 19, 2022.
Andrea grows very pale.
ANDREA
I need to sit down.
CHLOE
Here, Mom. Come to the living room.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Amy Falkofske.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by
-
Budinscak Setups/Payoffs
Day 5
What I learned doing this assignment:
o I enjoyed the ‘Ace Ventura’ analysis for setups/payoffs
o Setups and payoffs occur on their own in numerous areas of the story
1. Characters
Jack – slick/street smart, selfish, condescending, generous
Logline – Jack is a scoundrel and not the role model his impressionable nephews need, but they’re his captive audience and he’s ready to dispense ‘his knowledge’ as he sees fit.
Cat – Direct/assertive, responsible, edgy
Logline – Cat, Jack’s sister, is a cornerstone of the restaurant, an able cook and waitress, she is the only sibling Jack is leery of and the only aunt Puck and Sal are afraid of since she’s a formidable deliverer of punishment.
Betty – motherly, soft, negotiator
Logline – the oldest sister and kindest of all the DiLuna family members. She can be easy to fool and is the most lenient to Puck and Sal and she’s apt to believe almost everything Jack says, but she will call bullshit on him, too.
Setup:
We’re in Act I. Last night, Jack witnessed the body bag that moves and upon being confronted by Don Vito, Jack’s agreed to deliver a package for the Don. This morning, Jack has dropped off his Cadillac at the funeral home for modifications for the trip.
EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY
Jack crosses the parking lot from the funeral home to Carmine’s.
INT. CARMINE’S – DAY
It’s a busy day in the restaurant, CUSTOMERS wait for seats. SAL and PUCK, Puck wears his ubiquitous backpack, sit in a booth when their aunt, CAT, walks over.
CAT
You boys going to eat something or just sit there?
Jack strolls in. He makes small talk with a few customers as he makes his way to the booth.
JACK
We babysitting these two today?
CAT
Pfft. Not if I had my way. Betty’s got their mom’s on speakerphone in the office. They’re asking about you.
JACK
About what?
CAT
How the hell do I know? Go find out. (Cat looks at the nephews) – Well, you gonna order or you want me to pick it for you?
Puck and Sal gulp as they watch their uncle walk away. They’re afraid to make eye contact with their aunt.
OFFICE
Jack finds Betty hovering over the speakerphone and yelling into it. ANGELINE (Puck’s mom) and JERRY (Sal’s mother) yell back from their end of the phone.
BETTY
Guess who just walked in? The man with no plan.
ANGELINE (OS)
Jack, are you still picking us up?
JACK
Yes.
JERRY (OS)
What time and where?
JACK
I hate when you do this. Tuesday morning at JFK. Good guess?
JERRY (OS)
That’s right. If you don’t want to pick us up, let us know.
JACK
I’ll be in Atlantic City on business. Don Vito asked me for some help.
Betty looks up and she’s worried.
BETTY
Careful with the old man, Jack. Don’t trust him. Pa never did.
ANGELINE (OS)
Betty’s right. You should …
JACK
You should take a chill pill. I’ll be there, I got you. And the old man asked me for a favor. How could I say no?
JERRY (OS)
No! How was that?
They all laugh.
JACK
I’ll see you two on Wednesday afternoon.
ANGELINE (OS)
Tuesday morning!
JACK
Just checking to make sure you’re paying attention.
ANGELINE (OS)
Tell our boys we miss them and can’t wait to see them.
JACK
Want me to give those two a little discipline and some backbone?
BETTY
Be nice, Jack.
JERRY (OS)
Just make sure they eat well. I worry when I’m away from Sal.
JACK
And we worry when we’re around him.
BETTY
He reminds us of you at that age.
JACK
That’s my cue to leave.
Jack winks at Betty, Betty wears a big smirk.
JACK
See you Wednesday.
JERRY (OS)
Tuesday!
Betty and Jack burst out laughing.
DINING ROOM
Puck and Sal eat hot dogs and French fries and wear mustard and ketchup. Cat studies a statue of liberty thermometer and places it on the table when the nephews eat.
JACK
Checking the temperature?
CAT
It’s always hot in here. So you’re going to Atlantic City?
JACK
Don Vito asked me to go there as a favor. I’ll try my luck in a few casinos while I’m there.
CAT
Don Vito? Jack …
JACK
I just went through this with your sisters. I’ll be okay.
CAT
Quite the life, Jack. Must be nice.
JACK
It is.
Jack motions to the Sal and Puck.
JACK
Who’s stuck watching those two brats?
CAT
It’s my turn this evening, then Betty. You want to help?
JACK
Jack don’t do babysitting.
CAT
It’ll be a learning experience.
JACK
Learn what? That Sal’s me when I was his age and Puck is smarter than I am now? I already know how that story ends.
CAT
You’re the only one I know that can step in dog shit and come out smelling like a rose.
JACK
It’s a gift. (motions towards the nephews) Have fun with Elvis and Poindexter.
Jack and Cat look at Puck and Sal then each other before laughing. And the nephews have no idea what’s so funny.
-
Objects: Hammock, ski poles, and history books planted throughout with symbolic value.
EXT. HUGUENOT ST. – DAY
Betty is swinging blissfully on a hammock strung between two pine trees beside the boat garage. Jake hobbles over, trying to mitigate his PD shakes by pressing down on ski poles but he tips over as he approaches.
BETTY
You used to be so agile.Even Jake’s fury is slower than it used to be,
JAKE
Fuck Parkinson’s.BETTY
Love to, but he died over a hundred years ago.Jake is not in a good mood this time,
JAKE
We need them..Betty bats her eyes innocently, and amplifies her fake Southern accent,
BETTY
What, sugar? My cookies?Jake’s son Jesse walks by carrying a thick history book.
But Jake does the talking,
JAKE
My son Jess has done the research and we know your past. All of it.
Betty swings silently.
JAKE
You were the infamous serial killer/rapist/arsonist. We almost caught you when you assaulted Priceless, but she was too strong for you. If you hadn’t bought her off and funded her dance career, you would have spent your life in prison..
BETTY
You have no proof of this..
JAKE
Oh yes we do. You were a stalker who sneaked up killing without a sound, a walking match in a sea of gasoline, a rapist who banged from behind after they burnt, and an antiseptic liar who hid your crimes in the icing of immaculate hygiene.
BETTY
My hands are for cooking and cleaning and caretaking.JAKE
Your paws were always weapons.
Jake uses one of his ski poles to tip over the hammock,
JAKE
You can’t row this boat forever. Our evidence will drown you..
Betty falls on the grass gracefully and gets up,
BETTY
Our brain buffet is for the one percent. I only got it because I work for STEMGARCHS and I was hit hard by that gang. I don’t have the power to–
JAKE
They’re in that lab. I can’t have Delphine risk her life, but you can get them. It’s not just us. The world is desperate for this buffet.
BETTY
Let me see the proof you have..
JAKE
We matched your DNA, all over your hammock and our house, with hats and gloves left in the woods years ago near unsolved murders but we have more than this. We can’t tell you but trust us that you have a choice—get us the drugs and we forget, but not forgive, or keep them to yourself and everyone dies.If it were just Jake, Betty might use his ski pole to finish him off, but his strong son is standing by. (This is the crisis.)
-
Jodi’s Setup/Payoffs – Day 5
If you don’t have set ups and pay off it will seem like each scene is just independent scenes not telling a story. It is what holds the story together.
CRUSHER VENNICK: Selfish, dumb, reactive only Subtext: No consequences
Billy Johnson: Follower, has a conscious Subtext: Lives by a code
EXT. OUTSIDE THE CLINIC – DAY
Karen Bailey, 16, exits the Life Creation Clinic mandated by the state. She sees people watching her. It frightens her. At first she has a slow pace to her step, with each step her pace becomes faster. She fumbles for her keys. She is shaking, but doesn’t take her eyes off of these people in a nonchalant way. She presses her key fob as she reaches her car, she quickly gets in and starts the engine.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE CLINIC – SAME
Crusher Vennick is mentoring his friend Billy Johnson in the fine art of following abortion clinic patients and tracking them.
CRUSHER
Oh hoo, look at that Speckleberry. You gotta get a jump on the target before the list comes out.
BILLY
What list? Speckleberry?
CRUSHER
The OLL stupid, our bread and butter, and our target right there.
BILLLY
Man, there’s a lot of people here.
CRUSHER
Yep, it’s cutthroat with other bounty hunters as you can see. This ain’t nothin’, just wait till the list comes out, you won’t have a chance for the reward with all the puddle ducks.
BILLY
Jeez
CRUSHER
I been skunked enough. That’s why I stake out here for when they come out. Get to em’ early. You bring your bat?
BILLLY
Yeah, but what I need it for?
CRUSHER
For the s.o.b.’s that get to close to our targets.
Ten thousand dollars is a lot of reward to fight for.
BILLY
That is fucked up Crusher. I’m out.
CRUSHER
(laughs)
We make money, we don’t kill no one. That’s not what we do. But we scare the vultures away from our prize.
EXT. SAME
It’s a frenzy, each person clamoring to be the first to follow her, she hears many engines start.
CRUSHER
Come on General, do your magic!
EXT. SAME
Crusher and Billy hop in the big red monster truck, adorned with a confederate flag.
INT. CAR – SAME
Karen is shaken as she exits the parking lot as Crusher’s monster truck speeds to get behind her, they follow her close behind practically on her bumper. Karen punches on the gas.
BILLY
Arent’ you gonna scare the girl getting so close?
CRUSHER
Have to, look behind you.
Billy looks in the rear view mirror and sees a line of cars following closely behind. Crusher swerves to the left quickly as one of the following cars tries to pass him.
CRUSHER
(laughing)
Woooohooooo!
(shouting)
Slob Hunters!
Billy looks terrified as Crusher is swerving from left to right and back again keeping the other bounty hunters at bay.
CRUSHER
Oh, my, the little Speckleberry is pickin up speed and head right up the mountain.
BILLY
(irritated)
Again, what is a Speckleberry?
CRUSHER
Our target dumb ass.
They continue to follow Karen and Crusher is successful in losing many bounty hunters who were tail-gaiting him, except one.
EXT. SAME
Karen is in a rural part of the state where windy roads are the normal terrain. She constantly looks back in the rear view mirror in terror as the monster truck stays close. She can hear them whooping and hollering at her. Now, more scared than ever and going too fast, looking back she misjudges a turn and slams on her brakes. Crusher, who was glancing back at the one car still trying to pass him, plows right into her fender. Her sedan is no match for Crusher’s monster truck. It sends her careening off the road and her car flips continually coming to a stop sixty yards from the highway.
EXT. SIDE OF ROAD – DAY
Crusher and Billy had pulled to the side of the road watching the car flip as the car behind them drove past. They know they were the ones who caused her to flip her car.
CRUSHER
Let’s get outta her.
Crusher begins to pull onto the road.
BILLY
We can’t do that, we need to see if she’s okay.
Crusher sees her arm still.
CRUSHER
Does she look okay?
I ain’t gonna take no wrap for no whore.
BILLY
We have to stop. You want to go to jail for the rest of your life?
CRUSHER
It was an accident!
BILLY
I’ll tell the cops if you don’t stop this car right now.
CRUSHER
You do and your days’ll be numbered.
Billy looks disillusioned in Crusher. Crusher takes a minute and then stops the car engine.
CRUSHER
Okay. I hear ya. Let’s go.
Crusher and Billy exit the car and walk towards the wreckage.
EXT. KAREN’S WRECKED CAR – LATER
Crusher and Billy get to the car but the windows are rolled up and the doors are locked.
BILLY
Shit, how are we gonna get in there to help her?
CRUSHER
See any rocks around, we can smash the window.
They look around but don’t see any boulders big enough to break the window.
BILLY
I’ll get my bat!
CRUSHER
Good idea.
As Billy rushes to get the bat Crusher smiles slightly, he continues to peer in the car and looks at the highway for cars that might be passing by. Billy comes running back with the bat, he rips his shirt off.
BILLY
Crusher, hold my shirt next to the window while I smash it.
CRUSHER
Bull shit I will.
BILLY
We don’t have time for this. Here, you do it then.
Billy switches places with Crusher and hands him the bat. Crusher takes a big swing and shatters the window. Billy quickly unlocks the door and opens it. Karen shows faint signs of life. Crusher sees this. Crusher tries to lift her face as it looks as if she’s hanging by a thread.
CRUSHER
See if my CB’ll work up here, if it does call 9.1.1. Don’t tell em’ who we are!
BILLY
Good idea!
Billy runs off back to the car. Crusher watches him, knowing it’ll take Billy a couple of minutes. He reaches over to Karen, she is very weak and her face bobs like a rag doll.
CRUSHER
Sorry Speckleberry, it’s you or me. And it ain’t gonna be me.
Crusher wraps Billy’s shirt around Karen’s neck and chokes her to death. He quickly runs back to the truck.
EXT. CRUSHER’S TRUCK – SAME
Crusher approaches his truck just as Billy hangs up the CB
BILLY
Over and out.
CRUSHER
You get the cops?
BILLY
Yeah, they’re coming.
CRUSHER
Good.
Crusher starts the truck and he takes off.
BILLY
What are you doing?
CRUSHER
Look, we stopped, she’s okay. I don’t want to get popped for causing an accident.
Billy looks worried, as they head down the hill,
Billy looks back at the wreckage. -
Armand’s Setup/Payoffs
What I learned…
“Setups can:
A. Foreshadow upcoming events.
B. Mislead the audience.
C. Challenge the characters.
D. Be the basis for future solutions.
Payoffs can:
A. Surprise the audience.
B. Create excitement.
C. Add new meaning to the setup.
D. Twist the story in a new direction.
E. Provide closure.”
TYLER, THE GHOST
Traits: Arrogant, Sarcastic, Immature
Subtext: Scared, in Denial
LEX, THE GOTH HIGH SCHOOL GIRL
Traits: Curious, Brave, Sarcastic, Intelligent
Subtext: Insecure, Lonely
SCENE DESCRIPTION:
Tyler can now speak with Lex using her ghost tracking voice app, now he wants to alert her about the return of the killer but…
INT. LEX’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
TYLER
You can hear me.
(at the smartphone)
That is a wonderful device.
LEX
It’s just an app.
TYLER
An app?
LEX
Application. Anything you want to do, there’s an app for that. I built this one from a prototype.
TYLER
You must be like super smart.
LEX
My dad is a tech genius. Maybe I inherited some of his brains. Same can’t be said about my sister.
TYLER
Sister? The college girl?
(at Lex’s goth appearance)
Really?
LEX
Half-sister.
TYLER
You need to get everyone out of here. Now.
LEX
They’ve been drinking for hours. Good luck with that!
TYLER
Listen to me! You in danger, girl.
(chuckles)
Always wanted to quote that movie.
LEX
What movie?
TYLER
Nevermind. The killer is in the house!
LEX
What killer?
TYLER
My killer!
LEX
Do you know who the killer is? That would really help me solving your murder!
TYLER
I don’t know who the killer is! He wears a stupid mask.
LEX
Then how do you know is the same person.
TYLER
Because he was inside of me, okay?
LEX
So romantic.
TYLER
He couldn’t see me but he knew I was there somehow. He charged at me with his axe.
LEX
An axe? What is this, Friday the 13th?
TYLER
This is not a joke, Wednesday Addams. You need to tell everyone. Your sister!
LEX
Dallas never listens to me. No one does.
TYLER
Put me on your app and I’ll tell them.
LEX
I can’t do that.
TYLER
Why not?
LEX
They’ll think I’m a freak.
TYLER
Too late for that.
LEX
(at the app)
I’m closing this. Bye!
TYLER
Wait! No.
Lex turns off the app. Tyler can’t communicate with her anymore.
TYLER
I’m going to haunt you so hard.
Lex exits, Tyler follows her.
-
PS 80 Michelle Damis Setup/Payoffs
What I learned doing this assignment is that set-ups/payoffs can be very small and simple, or big and noisy can be quickly played out or played out in the long game. I got a few little ones in here, as well as several things that will pay off much later. I didn’t quite finish the scene as I’m trying to not get too far behind in assignments.
Marin (Mom) Articulate, Self-Disciplined. Meticulous, Strategic. Subtext: Guilty, has a secret.
Jim (Dad) Accessible, Loyal, Generous, Nostalgic Subtext: Always wanted a big family
Nina (Daughter) Determined/Stubborn, Moody, Impatient, Subtext: Wounded/Suspicious
INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY AM
Marin is in the middle of a very challenging, precise workout. She is in outstanding shape, her form and technique are impeccable. The exercise room is pristine, every little thing has its proper place. On the walls are pictures of Marin receiving awards and honors as well as an impressive display of certificates and diplomas. She hears the front door close and glances quickly at the clock, shaking her head in disappointment she wipes a drip of sweat and drops back to the floor to pound out some more pushups noticeably kicking up the intensity.
INT. ENTRYWAY – MOMENTS LATER
Nina closes the door behind her, looking exhausted. She can faintly hear the thump of music from somewhere in the house which very much annoys her. She throws her coat and purse on the floor kicks her shoes off and lets them lay where they land. Almost forgetting her phone she grabs it from her purse letting several items fall out.
INT. HALLWAY – CONTINOUS
Nina texts and walks down a hallway lined perfectly with family photos, she stops at one of her about age 5 with both her parents, starring at it for a moment a soft sadness creeps across her face. She continues on down the hallway after adjusting one of the photos so that it hangs crooked, sticking out like a sore thumb in the hallway of perfect angles, this elicits a small smile of satisfaction.
INT. KITCHEN – CONTINOUS
Nina grabs a glass of water and a snack leaving several cabinets open and a general mess in the kitchen that moments before was spic n span.
INT. OUTSIDE EXERCISE ROOM – MOMENTS LATER
Nina walks quickly past the exercise room hoping to avoid eye contact, any contact really.
Marin pauses mid-exercise as she sees Nina.
MARIN: Good Morning!!!
Nina ignores her mother, continuing on by. Marin takes her frustration out on her next exercise.
INT. NINAS BEDROOM – MOMENTS LATER
Nina’s bedroom is a disaster. She pulls the shades as the sun is starting to rise. Throws on PJs and flops onto the bed. Although Nina is 23 the room is oddly suspended in the décor of a 15yr old.
INT. ENTRY/HALLWAY – EARY MORNING
Marin has thrown a sweatshirt on and is picking up the remnants of Nina early morning return home. Every item stokes her anger. The last straw is the crooked picture in the hallway.
INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER
Jim is sitting at the table with his coffee and a bunch of old photos, he squints at one.
MARIN: I swear she messes with me on purpose.
JIM: Don’t take it personally, she is just going through a phase.
Marin grabs readers off the counter and hands them to Jim.
MARIN: Would you like to continue to squint or would you actually like to really see those?
JIM: Thank you (sarcastically)
Marin is shutting cupboards, closing open boxes, wiping crumbs etc…
MARIN: Look at this place.
Jim looks at the kitchen with the readers on, eyes magnified, making a goofy, cross-eyed face.
JIM: Is one of you talking to me?
Jim never fails to make Marin laugh even when she is angry.
-
Janeen’s Setup/Payoffs
What I learned doing this assignment was that most of the setups and payoffs occur in subtext.
Characters:
Morgan Day <div>
Basic Character Traits:
Insecure
Curious/Eager to learn
Perfectionist — can’t leave well enough alone
Bold under pressure
Subtext Character Traits: Intimidated, Crafty
Logline: Morgan is a wealthy fashionista who wants to help other women to prove to herself that she is not just a trophy wife.
Possible areas of subtext: Pretends to believe she is inferior to her husband. Collects friends who help intimidated women while not realizing she is intimidated. Pretends altruism while her work is a form of revenge against her husband.
Daniel Richards
Basic Character Traits:
Temperamental artist
Insecure
Incredibly good designer
Perfectionist
Subtext Character Traits: Cloaking, Vengeful
Logline: Daniel is a fashion designer who finds himself venting his frustrations with his clients on his submissive wife but Morgan is somehow empowering his wife to defy him and that must stop.
Possible areas of subtext: Obsequiously bows to his clients’ wishes in fashion. Gets as nitpicky with his wife at home as he feels his clients are with him. Hates anyone who challenges his right to be absolutely, unequivocally in charge at home.
2. Scene choice:
Morgan and Daniel Richards greet with fake kisses and she cautiously tells him she’s seen his wife at the shelter, donating clothes. He turns the subject and plots his revenge for Amber’s betrayal, fussing more than ever with his fashions.
Setups:
Mislead the audience: Morgan greets Daniel as usual </div><div>
Foreshadow upcoming events: Daniel is furious internally, but externally just extra-fussy when Morgan tells him about seeing Amber.
Foreshadow upcoming events: Daniel suggests Morgan stop by his house the following evening for a fitting since his days (and hers) are filled.
Payoff: Twist the story in a new direction: The audience fears for Morgan if she goes to his home.
Payoff: Foreshadow upcoming events: Morgan gladly accepts the invitation so she can see Amber again.
SCENE:
INT. DANIEL’S DESIGN STUDIO – DAY
MORGAN enters the studio with a large tote.
MORGAN
(brightly)
Ready for my fitting!
Daniel rushes to her and they do mutual fake kisses to both cheeks.
DANIEL
Right this way, Morgan darling. Be very careful putting this on. It’s only basted at this point.
Daniel shows her to a curtained dressing room at one end of his studio.
MORGAN
Of course. Strapless or adjustable straps.
DANIEL
Darling, you could go braless if you wanted to, but I recommend the full support strapless since the gala lasts forever.
They chat while Morgan is changing.
MORGAN
I saw Amber at the shelter while I was dropping off some of Gavin’s old clothes.
Daniel freezes mid-stride.
DANIEL
(studied nonchalance)
Really? What was she doing there?
MORGAN
She said she was dropping off some of the baby’s old things. She’s so kind and thoughtful.
Daniel relaxes a bit, but cold hatred settles on his face.
DANIEL
That she is. I hope you exchanged pleasantries. You’ve always been her favorite client of mine.
MORGAN
(good naturedly)
Only hers?
DANIEL
And mine, of course. Now come out here and let me see you.
Morgan steps out in a partially finished dress full of drama and shimmering fabric that is perfect for her figure. She stands in front of a three-way mirror and Daniel steps behind her, looking at her in the mirrors over her shoulder.
MORGAN
I’m not sure about having my left shoulder bare.
Daniel fusses with the fabric, seams, etc. As they chat and Morgan fingers various points on the dress as well.
DANIEL
It’s the traditional bare shoulder, my dear, and you wouldn’t want people to think you had some kind of deformity that demanded use of the other shoulder.
MORGAN
No, of course not, but Gavin always puts his arm around me and his left hand has always been holding his drink so it’s always cold and damp.
DANIEL
Well you must tell him to shake hands with his left or you’ll shrink away from him when he tries to pull you in close.
Morgan considers it, then chuckles.
MORGAN
You know how absurd that sounds, don’t you?
DANIEL
Please, don’t tell me that your adoring husband doesn’t do everything his beautiful trophy wife asks him to do?
Morgan stiffens at the term trophy wife.
MORGAN
He’s wonderfully accommodating.
They both stop fussing with the dress and Daniel stands partially behind her looking at her in the mirror, her demeanor visibly colder than moments before.
DANIEL
Can you come by tomorrow morning?
Daniel steps to his appointment book.
DANIEL
No, I’m booked all day tomorrow. How about tomorrow night at eight. Can you stop by the house?
Morgan is enthusiastic.
MORGAN
Yes, of course. It will give me a chance to see Amber and the kids again.
Daniel grimaces, but jots a note in his book.
DANIEL
I’m sure she’ll be putting the kids to bed by then, but I’ll give her your best.
MORGAN
Oh, I’m sorry. She’s such a gem. You’re very lucky to have her.
A bell tinkles at the front of the design studio to signal someone entering.
DANIEL
So lucky. We’ll see you tomorrow. My next fitting is here so just leave the dress in the room.
Daniel eyes shoot daggers at Morgan as she steps into the dressing room.
Morgan turns to close the curtain and Daniel immediately smiles. She smiles tentatively at him, then pulls the curtain.
Hatred returns to Daniel’s face.
</div>
-
Emmanuel’s Setup/Payoffs
What I learned doing this assignment is setups are key to moving a story along, especially if they are designed to captivate the audience, and then the payoff is revealed later.
-
Pablo’s Setup and Payoffs
What I learned: I always attributed setup/payoffs to major aspects to a story. Something introduced early on to bring back much later in the film. Like the way Kevin uses his brother’s tarantula to ward off one of the Wet Bandits in Home Alone. I never really thought using it in a scene. To be honest, my exercise isn’t very good and I probably won’t use it in my script, but this feels like good practice.
INT. A CHILD’S BEDROOM – DAY
Irma glues the last piece of small piggy bank together and fans it dry with a comic book laying nearby. She tidies up a room full of toys and crafts.
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
Irma sprays and wipes surfaces around the house as an old tube television plays reruns of Jeopardy in the living room. The contestant solves the puzzle with the answer: “YOU’RE WAY AHEAD OF THE GAME”
ANTONIO and ANDRES come home from a day at school.
IRMA: You boys hungry?
ANTONIO: Always.
Irma smiles.
IRMA: Why do I even ask?
INT. ANTONIO’S BEDROOM – DAY
Antonio sees his piggy bank set on old newspaper as the glue continues to dry. Irma follows him in.
IRMA: I had to borrow money to buy milk.
ANTONIO: No you didn’t.
IRMA: I did and I’ll pay you back.
ANTONIO: No you won’t.
Beat.
ANTONIO: Might as well throw it away. Dad will just break it again.
Andres walks in with more junk and starts tinkering.
IRMA: Homework first, Andres. Then you can build… whatever it is you want to build.
Andres puts the items in an old milk crate which is already filled with other random items. He opens his bookbag and pulls out his homework.
IRMA: Let me know if you need any help with your assignments.
Antonio looks at his mother with one eyebrow up. She shrugs.
IRMA: Who am I kidding?
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
Irma places a pot on the stove. She measures two cups of water and pours it in a pot and lights the stove.
ANTONIO: You think he’ll come home tonight?
IRMA: I doubt it.
ANTONIO: It’s been days now.
IRMA: I hear that you can lose track of time at a casino.
Beat.
ANTONIO: What’s for dinner?
IRMA: There isn’t much. Eggs and rice.
Antonio rolls his eyes in dread.
ANTONIO: Again?
IRMA: Don’t start.
ANTONIO: Can’t we just drag dad out of the casino and tell him to get a job?
IRMA: I truly wish it was that easy.
ANTONIO: Can I get a job?
IRMA: You’re only 14, Tony. Finish school and then you can get a job.
ANTONIO: I’m so sick of this.
IRMA: You’re sick of this? How do you think-
She stops herself.
IRMA: I have an idea. How about you cook tonight.
Antonio scoffs.
ANTONIO: Only if you pay me. I don’t work for free.
Irma gives Antonio a cold, dead stare.
IRMA: I provide for both of you. How about you contribute a bit in exchange. You want help out or not.
ANTONIO: I’ve got homework.
IRMA: Well then go do it and stop pestering me about money.
Antonio stands there for a moment. He walks towards the pot of water, now boiling. He measures a cup of rice and pours it in the hot water. He brings the flame down to a simmer. He adds a bit of salt. Finally, he sets the timer on the counter for 20 minutes.
ANTONIO: I’ve seen you do it a thousand times… Just this past week at least.
Irma gives a slow, defeated sigh and nods.
IRMA: (in English) You’re way ahead of the game.
ANTONIO: What?
Beat.
IRMA: You’re growing up too fast my son.
Beat.
IRMA: I’ll let you know when dinner is ready.
Log in to reply.