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Day 5 Assignments
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12 Replies
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Janeen’s Powerful Setups
What I learned doing this assignment is I need to choose one and retrofit my first 2 acts to make sure the setup registers with the reader.
IDEAS:
Build their reputation
Have the shelter woman who got a job spread the word and have it mushroom from there.
B. Justification for the final actions
The escalation of violence by abusers says it’s going to be fatal at some point. It came down to him or her so the guild was justified in fortifying her as much as possible and instilling a strong desire for survival — all good things, but when it’s kill or be killed, it leads to violence.
C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions
Amber was all alone when she decided to drug and then stab her husband. The guild can’t prove they helped and nether can the courts. Did they really help?
D. Discuss the final actions openly.
The guild needs witnesses to say that violence cannot be provoked by the Waterman Method; the practitioners never had access directly with Amber; etc.
E. Twists that take it away.
Amber survives, but kills someone in cold blood to do so.
F. Alternate Hope/Fear
Morgan will help Amber with the book; Amber gets beaten up instead; Morgan will call the police; Richard gets a restraining order against her for his whole family.
G. Create and pay off emotional setups.
Amber is a sympathetic figure as an abused younger wife. Morgan is a sympathetic figure in that her husband treats her like a child and try as she might, she can’t get the world to respect her because she was a trophy wife to start with.
H. Suspense around the outcome.
The police, prosecutor and public think the guild pushed Amber to violence as they apparently had some women at the shelter. They did not stipulate violence, only escape, but the public doesn’t think of it that way.
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Armand Powerful Setups
What I learned…
Writing great endings is a NON-LINEAR process.
Here are the steps to creating a great ending:
1. Write the first draft or outline of the movie.
2. Elevate the ending to a much higher level than the rest of the script.
3. Return to the rest of the script and put in the setups that will make that ending work.
AN IMPORTANT ADDITION TO OUR EQUATION
I’ve said that the key to a great ending is “Surprising, but Inevitable…”. Now, let me add another word that is extremely important when it comes to the events of an ending. That word is… MEANING
So our new equation for a great ending is “Surprising, but Inevitable with Meaning.”
Nothing in a 3rd Act is coincidental. Everything is there because it serves the story and even more importantly, because the story set it up powerfully
ASSIGNMENT
Looking at your current ending, generate ideas on how you can set it up powerfully using each of these techniques. Try to come up with at least one setup for each of the techniques below.
A. Build their Reputation
It is said the serial killer is relentless, and was never caught. Tyler is said to have the potential to be a good leader, but he is selfish. As a ghost, we learn ghosts are souls tortured by their mistakes in life.
B. Justification for the final actions
The college kids are killed, including the one closest to the ghost. But there is one living college kid he can save.
C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions
The killer has a supernatural connection to the ghost, and can fight it. The ghost is afraid of the killer.
D. Discuss the final actions openly
The plan is to kill the killer, ensuring he goes straight to Hell.
E. Twists that take it away
The college kids have a chance to escape, then one gets kidnapped
F. Alternate Hope/fear
The ghost thinks he’s defeated the killer, but the killer is alive and can see the ghost.
G. Create and pay off emotional setups
The ghost promises the college kids, he’ll keep them save. Then one dies. But the ghost finds a way to revive one of them.
H. Suspense around the outcome
They can’t take down the killer, despite multiple attempts.
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Amy’s Powerful Setups
What I learned doing this assignment is there are lots of things you can do to set up your ending to be more meaningful.
Write the setups for your ending using these steps:
1. Looking at your current ending, generate ideas on how you can set it up
powerfully using each of these techniques. Try to come up with at least
one setup for each of the techniques below.
A. Build their Reputation
People recognize Andrea when she goes out in public. She is a local celebrity.
B. Justification for the final actions
Meagan stole Andrea’s family while she was missing
C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions
Meagan is a far better mom and partner to Josh than Andrea ever was because she has always been so focused on her career.
D. Discuss the final actions openly
The professor and Andrea discuss catching up with Meagan and making her pay for what she’s done.
E. Twists that take it away
When it looks like Meagan has been cornered for the fire at the lab, Karen comes forward and says that Meagan has been at the school getting ready for the dance recital since early afternoon.
F. Alternate Hope/fear
Andrea gets a chance to show off to the network, but it’s the same night as Chloe’s dance recital. It appears that Andrea has Meagan backed into a corner, but one of Meagan’s friends gives her an alibi. Andrea does show up to Chloe’s dance recital, but she’s not there for Chloe-she’s still working.
G. Create and pay off emotional setups
Josh woos Andrea throughout the story. She finally chooses him over her job. Andrea’s kids have been trying to get her attention the whole time. She gives up her chance at working for the network to attend Chloe’s dance recital.
H. Suspense around the outcome
The dance recital is about to start and Andrea is not there. It looks likes she’s chosen work…again. Chloe declares that’s she has given up on her mother.
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Budinscak Powerful Setups
Day 5
What I learned doing this assignment:
o I need to add a few setups earlier in my script.
o Tremendous analysis and of “UNFORGIVEN” and the breakdown for powerful endings.
o I really like establishing the ending we’re seeking then going back to set it up appropriately.
Powerful Endings:
BUILD THEIR REPUTATION:
o Don Vito – In the opening scene, Don Vito arrives in a limo, has bodyguards, states that no one has ever lied to him twice. He has a nickname “The Weatherman”. Don Vito tells Jack that he owes him a favor, Don Vito doesn’t ask Jack.
o Jack spins a knife, cuts a loaf of bread in half in one move – and he’s a natural in the kitchen.
o Jack lies to Don Vito about skimming money from the Don – and Don Vito knows.
o The ease with which Jack beats the Trucker who was threatening Puck in the Oklahoma Truck Stop.
o He’s as cool as a cucumber whether he’s having fun, feeling threatened, telling the truth of lying through his teeth – same old Jack.
JUSTIFICATION FOR THE FINAL ACTIONS
o Don Vito threatens to burn the family restaurant to the ground
o Jack is separated from his nephews
o Don Vito tells Jack he won’t follow through on their deal – Carmine’s, the restaurant will be razed.
o Don Vito tells Jack he’s going to teach the nephews a lesson. He also tells Jack he’s going to make him disappear.
CAST DOUBT ON THE SUCCESS OF THE FINAL ACTIONS:
o Jack’s caught stealing from his bookmaking operation
o Lies about seeing the moving body bag (inciting incident)
o Never tells anyone about why he’s taking the trip
o Or where he’s going
o Or what will happen if he doesn’t make it
o He loses all his money
o Shakedown from FBI includes Jack working for them against Don Vito and
o Jack has to wear a wire.
o His Cadillac drives off the shoulder of the road, gets in an accident and is inoperable. There’s only a few hours left to deliver the package.
o Surrounded by bodyguards and Don Vito.
DISCUSS THE FINAL ACTIONS OPENLY:
o Jack says in the beginning, “I’ve got extra time and I’m going to have some fun.”
o Jack again, “We can get to Gina’s house and still make the delivery on time… I think.”
o LC questions Jack about bringing his nephews along for the trip, “How tough can it be?”
o Jack – “I’ll be in and out in no time.”
TWISTS THAT TAKE IT AWAY:
o Leave Vegas and dry ice melts in the trunk and everyone’s knocked out from CO poisoning. Caddy’s wrecked and is inoperable.
o FBI joins the fray and shakes down Jack.
o Jack detects someone following them – a shadow – for a long part of the journey.
o Don Vito – “Sorry Jack, I cannot honor our deal.”
ALTERNATE HOPE/FEAR:
o Have plenty of time to make the trip (hope), Carbon Monoxide poisoning and the Caddy’s wrecked fear). Someone comes to the rescue (hope), it’s the person who’s been following them (fear), says he works for LC (hope), Cadillac won’t start (fear) the guy drives a flatbed tow truck and gets Caddy on (hope)
o Jack makes delivery on time (hope), Jack’s separated from the nephews (fear), boys trick their mob guy and trap him in a casket, have his gun (hope), Don Vito tells Jack won’t honor agreement (fear), Sal enters the room and whistles (hope), Don Vito orders his guards to get Sal (fear) Puck pulls the hammer back on a gun CLICK (hope)
CREATE AND PAY OFF EMOTIONAL SETUPS:
o After the threat from Don Vito in the beginning and continual mocking on calls.
o Jack told by Don Vito that he’s not sticking to his end of the deal.
o After a rocky start with the boys, Jack’s found his stride with them. The boys are both thrilled and scared after watching their uncle at the Truck Stop.
o Jack promises God he’ll be a different person – a changed man – if God saves his nephews.
o Jack prays to God to overlook him drugging the kids.
o He prays for help before he starts gambling – he loses everything.
o After Jack, Puck and Sal drive back from NY with their moms, their mothers question Jack – and the nephews come to his rescue.
SUSPENSE AROUND THE OUTCOME:
o Jack tells Don Vito to do what you want with me, but leave the boys alone.
o Jack asks about the restaurant and Don Vito tells him he can only have one – either the restaurant or his nephews.
o When the nephews are separated from their uncle.
o Making the delivery on time, but the package melts a little too much.
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Write the setups for your ending using these steps:
1. Looking at your current ending, generate ideas on how you can set it up
powerfully using each of these techniques. Try to come up with at least
one setup for each of the techniques below.I am overwhelmed with this because I must set up through three novels and one screenplay.
A. Build their Reputation In my first novel, Jake is the rebellious ADHD drug-addicted, alcoholic, cheating-in-school teenager despite his respectable doctor/professor parents, Leo is an OCD hospitality guy with a handsome, successful son, Ibrahim is a rich Saudi new arrival, polite, impeccably educated, super smart family man who serves college and community, and Litonya is a gorgeous superhuman mountain climber who is too smart for her own good but at the beginning of the third novel, Ibrahim and Leo/BB are sociopaths who have helped unleash and spread the virus, Litonya is a geologist and mother with a criminal record, Jake is a successful fitness star slightly sidelined by the pandemic, and others are in the way ready to be killed by the pandemic or nature like fires or floods, helped by people who want to depopulate the earth. Do reputations matter in a pandemic?
B. Justification for the final actions
Stopping genocides is usually justified and uncovering the crimes of serial killers is usually applauded. But no one is allowed to take the law into their own hands and Jake and his family don’t want to risk criminal records or retaliation.
C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions
But these antagonists have a network more global and intricate and a past more complex than Jake or his kids can decipher. It’s like killing roaches–you never win.
D. Discuss the final actions openly
I did that with the trial and also at the beginning in scenes between Ibrahim and BB/Betty. But it is too on the nose so now I must cover it up.
E. Twists that take it away
Ibrahim shows his good side with philanthropic speeches, BB turns into nurturing Betty the chef and caretaker, and Jake loses some of his punch and promise with Parkinson’s.
F. Alternate Hope/fear
The changing scenes create seesaws of hope and fear. The problem is that some viewers/readers may not share the same environmental or political ideals. I feel fear all the time during the pandemic, so I am not sure what triggers hope. Could hope be a luxury of youth and health? Are hope and fear always wedded? Is the final twist to get rid of both so you can act freely?
G. Create and pay off emotional setups
I created emotional setups between Jake and Litonya and Litonya and Ibrahim in the beginning.
H. Suspense around the outcome
There is suspense in
the final scene and I tried to put more suspense throughout but it is not
natural for me. I realize suspense techniques don’t make me turn pages–language and character and big ideas do–but I agree it is a useful screenwriting device. -
Rob Bertrand’s Powerful Setups
What I learned: I learned that you should create your ending first and then rewrite your screenplay to create powerful setups to that ending. The idea that everything in the third act is there on purpose was a real eye opener for me.
Build their Reputation
– Annie uses grief to her benefit when she fakes a tearful breakdown with her counselor to remain in online school.
– The counselor knows that Annie is better than her grades make her out to be and challenges her to do better.
– Annie is said to have a “Noisy Spirit”. This is a play on words, meaning that Annie has a lot going on in her mind and she isn’t shy about voicing it. It’s also the definition of the word “poltergeist”.
Justification for the final actions
– Danny throws Jocelyn down the stairs, breaking both her arms.
– Danny reveals himself to be the ghost of Nora Andrews, wearing the wedding dress that Jack threw away. He’s been faking the paranormal activity.
– Danny chops Jack’s wedding ring finger and pinkie off.
Cast doubt on the success of the final action
– Annie has a recurring dream of her dead mom.
– The police discover evidence that suggests Annie and Jessica are faking the paranormal activity.
– The Counselor suggests that Annie could be manifesting the paranormal activity into existence with her own mind. A theory called recurrent spontaneous psychokineses. (RSPK) AKA: Poltergeist activity.
– The sisters try and capture the paranormal on camera, but fail.
Discuss the final actions openly
– Annie devises a plan to capture the paranormal activity on camera. Annie and Jessica set up a series of tests, to prove to Jack that the house is really haunted. (It’s not.)
Twists that take it away
– Danny reveals himself to be the “ghost” of Nora Andrews. The house isn’t haunted. He’s been playing a mind game on the Annie.
– Danny reveals that he’s been hiding in the house longer than they ever imagined.
Alternate Hope/fear
– Danny tries to convince Annie to kill her father. “The wrong parent died, remember?”
– Annie holds the axe at Jack’s throat. Is she going to do it?
Create and pay off emotional setups
– Annie reveals she didn’t cry at her mother’s funeral. She’s never cried over her mother’s death.
– The counselor tells Annie, “You hold onto your grief like it owes you something. It doesn’t . Let it go.” Annie cries for her mother for the first time.
– Annie visits her mother’s grave and makes peace with herself.
Suspense around the outcome
– Danny tells Annie that, “No one is ever who they truly seem to be.”
– Danny has had a psychotic break and takes on the persona of Nora Andrews. He believes the only way for Annie will ever love him is to become her mom.
– Danny takes Jack hostage and threatens to kill him. He tries to convince Annie to kill her father.
– Danny escapes
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BOB SMITHS POWERFUL SETIUPS
What I learned doing this assignment is…?
Powerful tools in creating a great ending and thereby a great script.
The current ending of “Moths Around a Flame” is that in spite of Emil Jannings’ plea to be admitted to Berlin’s American Sector and perhaps to go back to Hollywood to revive his acting career, he is denied his plea and ordered to undergo denazification which means he cannot pursue his acting career. It is an ironic tragedy because he ends up broken, just like the Professsor he played in “The Blue Angel.”
SET-UPS
BUILD HIS REPUTATION:
Jannings deplores the Nazis, also, he has a Russian born mother of Jewish origin which if discovered could subject her, him, and his family to the anti-Semitic Nuremburg Laws and the general antisemitism of the pro-Nazi German population. After much struggle of conscience and feeling at that time that his German accent excludes him from the new “Talkies” of Hollywood, Jannings decides that he would collaborate with the Nazis in making propaganda films as a way of hiding in the open from Nazi persecution and protecting is life and the lives of his family.
JUSTIFICATION FO THE FINAL ACTIONS
Kershaw imposing denazification upon Jannings is especially indicated when Kershaw is dissatisfied with Jannings’ excuse for campaigning for the Nazi Party as something he had to do because saying no to Goebbels could have been personally endangering to him and his family.
CAST DOUBT UPON THE SUCCESS OF THE FINAL ACTIONS
To hide in the open, not only did Jannings collaborate in the making of Nazi propaganda films, he also, at Goebbel’s request, campaign for the Nazi party in the Reichstag elections of 1938. This is in sspite of the warnings of his wife (Gussie Holl) that he could later be judged as a collaborator with the oppressor and suffer consequences in a future court because the Nazi rule will not last forever –most likely, she believes, it will be destroyed soon, and cites the weakening of Mussolini’s Fascist Regime in Italy.
DISCUSS THE FINAL ACTIONS OPENLY.
At the beginning of the story, American Army Major Kent Kershaw says to Jannings that he must prove he was not a Nazi or face Kershaw’s final action of having to assign Jannings to denazification. Kershaw understand he appeared in the films only because he was trying to hide in the open from Nazi persecution, but his campaigning for the Nazi Party in the 1938 elections and accepting from Goebbels the honorific of “Artist of the State” obviates denazification.
TWISTS THAT TAKE IT AWAY
Kurt Gerron (A fellow cast member of “The Blue Angel,” also collaborated with the Nazis when he made a propaganda film in Theiresendstad. Jannings says that as Gerron (a Jew) would not have been denazified, so he should ot be either.
ALTERNATE HOPE/FEAR.
(HOPE) Leni Riefenstahl, Hitler’s great propaganda film maker, was not subject to denazification, why should I, Jannings tells Kershaw.
(FEAR) Riefenstahl did not campaign for the Nazis and her film “Olympiad” showcased the African American Jesse Owens in defiance of Nazi racist theories. (So greater chance of Jannings being subjected to denazification.
CREATE AND PAYOFF EMOTIONAL SETUPS:
The screening of Jannings’ anti-Nazism is paid off with his impressive appeal to Kershaw. But the payoff to Jannings Understandably going too far as a collaborator also setsup the tragic ending of denazification about which even Kershaw is hesitant, as he has been a fan of the actor and wishes he did not have to impose denazificaion, but if he did not he would be derelict in his duty.
SUSPENSE AROUND THE OUTCOME:
The entire story is a flashback narrated to Kershaw by Jannings in his defense of his collaborative actions all of which began during the making of “The Blue Angel.”
The payoff doesn’t come until the end of the story when Kershaw imposes denazification upon Jannings which ruins his chances of reviving his acting career. In other words, paralleling the Professor’s tragic end in “The Blue Angel” is the tragic end of the actor who portrayed him, Emil Jannings.
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Jodi’s Powerful Setups – Day 5
This adds more ways to end the story. It helps with the set ups to build to the end scene.
A. Build their Reputation:
Pam’s reputation builds when she is trying to organize help for women to have abortions in other states. She sets up a statewide network of volunteers for this purpose. She calls the Governor out on irresponsible state spending, controlling female reproductive rights. She also had challenged him on air.
B. Justification for the final actions:
Pam asks each woman to get brave and vote their heart not their vow. Their vote is private, it is not meant to be shared with their husbands. This helps a lot of the already oppressed women.C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions:
The Governor raves that the election was rigged and stolen and that he won, much like a child not getting his way. The Karras team cheated he rants. He demands a recount. He is proven to be a poor sore loser who never learned good manners, and never retracts his condemnations. Pam being a better person ignores his bad behavior instead of suing him for defamation of character.
D. Discuss the final actions openly:
Ashley Lee gives Pam information to bribe the Governor with but she doesn’t use it. She instead works on uncovering his covert operation that has a Karras impersonation team attacking polling drop boxes and intimidating people at the polls.
E. Twists that take it away:
Pam’s Husband and Father are harassed and lose their livelihoods because of the Governor. Later, it appears the Karras van crashes into the ballot drop boxes, also it appears the Karras team harasses voters standing in line to vote. This is televised early in the morning.
F. Alternate Hope/fear:
Chloe gets attacked by Lieutenant Salt which was orchestrated by the Governor as a warning to back out of the race, Pam goes to the Police Chief to file a complaint (hope), she is told by Salt, it will stricken from the record and her husband will be targeted (fear).
Pam annihilates the Governor on the talk show (hope), he gets his revenge by spreading lies while campaigning that she is the one attacking the bounty hunters (fear), and goes after her father’s congregation.
G. Create and pay off emotional setups:
When Pam wins women instantly know they have
their freedom of choice back which creates jubilance for so many. Pam’s Dad finally comes to her and accepts
her for who she is and is proud of her.H. Suspense around the outcome:
Pam wins the election but the Governor calls foul and will not accept the
outcome, he cries like a baby that he is the actual winner. He demands a recount. In the meantime he brings forth video
recordings of a van that appears to be from the Karras campaign that has broken
into numerous ballot boxes and attacked many voters at local polling precincts. Of course later findings proved this was
staged by the Governor trying to frame her.
The recounts later also claim not only is she the winner but the count
was indeed off, she actually had three hundred more votes than previously counted
(from the attacked ballot boxes). -
Pablo’s Powerful Set-Ups
What I learned: Well, that I definitely need to watch Unforgiven again. It’s a good formula. This helped map out my ending a bit. Though, again, it needs more work.
A. Build their Reputation
Irma is known to be persistent. Some would call her a pest. She is basically the only person keeping the local church running. Her son’s teachers don’t love her as she is fairly demanding.
Sapo is a hands-on type of gangster. Door to door. Checking up on everyone. Comes off like he cares but doesn’t. Everyone has a scar or a lost loved one due to him.
B. Justification for the final actions
Sapo and his men unintentionally kill Irma’s husband Ricardo. The idea was to rough him up for being late on payments but they went too far. They pay off the cops and make it as though they had nothing to do with it, just a bar fight. Irma has no doubt who is actually at fault.
Frank constantly expresses his disdain for illegal immigrants. Justifies his racism as not specifically disliking Latinos but simply despising Latino criminals that use up US government resources. Also justifies working with the Mexican Cartel as he considers himself an importer, given that they make a product not made in the USA.
C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions
Irma loses trust in her sons as she discovers her eldest is secretly trying to sabotage the mission.
Hiding from Frank’s goons, Miguel is unable to send more supplies to Irma.
After destroying a fleet of drones, Irma and her sons think they are homefree. But a new fleet of drones catches up with them. Little do they know, Antonio’s poker chip is actually a tracker.
D. Discuss the final actions openly
Irma and her neighbor joke about moving to the states.
Knowing that Irma can’t pay off her husband’s debt, he tells her how they can pay it off by working at the casino. But when they leave town, Sapo tells his men that he plans to bring them right back so that they can get to work.
To escape from Sapo and protect her children, Irma is dead set on making it across the border and tells her sons how much better things will be when they make it.
E. Twists that take it away
The men working for Sapo are still in pursuit. But they aren’t trying to take them back. They are intentionally pushing them to a section of the border where the BP will be waiting for them.
Irma and her son’s find shelter in a ghost town near the border. They wonder how the men were able to find them and why they haven’t made any moves. They realize their intention of shepherding them to the BP.
New drones find their location. They don’t know it, but the poker chip that Sapo gave Antonio early in the story is actually a tracker.
F. Alternate Hope/fear
Irma and her sons narrowly escape by jumping on a bus to Juarez(hope), only to be forced to bail early when BP officers onboard to check passports(fear).
They find the Coyote and join a caravan to follow to the border (hope), the caravan kicks them out when they realize they are being followed(fear.)
They find a drone charging station and destroy it (hope), but more come because they are unknowingly carrying a tracker (fear).
They find a way to the border undetected (hope) but when more drones arrive (fear), Irma must lure them away from her sons.
G. Create and pay off emotional setups
Irma is overprotective of her sons but for good reason. But she has never given them any freedom being a strict, Catholic mother. But trekking through the desert with them, she sees how capable and resourceful they are and she realizes that they would have never made it without them. She then has to let them go in order to protect them.
H. Suspense around the outcome
Out of everyone in the caravan, Irma and her sons are the last left. Sapo’s men are always at their heels. The drones are forever present. The border patrol is waiting on the other side.
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PS 80 Michelle Damis Powerful Setups
What I learned doing this assignment is that I did come up with a few new tidbits to weave in. But I’ll admit my comments below are rushed as I’m under a deadline right now.
Try to come up with at least one setup for each of the techniques below.
A. Build their Reputation- We know Osgood has wanted to die anyway, so wouldn’t it be natural for him to sacrifice himself. He is disgusted by humanity because he has never experienced it. Nina is a force to reckon with even for vampires.
B. Justification for the final actions- Osgood really cares about the family, we want him to save them. There have been forces within the vampires working to save humanity and the planet that are revealed that make destroying the council important.
C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions- when they escape but can’t escape the sun.
D. Discuss the final actions openly – there have been little discussions through out.
E. Twists that take it away – Nins finds out about vampires, Osgood says he will leave, but they will be in danger anyway.
F. Alternate Hope/fear – Girls missing- Location discovered. Girls Escape and Nun shows up, then caught. Big standoff, escape/ caught by sun.
G. Create and pay off emotional setups Nina and Marin relationship. The family sacrificing for Osgood. Osgood having the blood for when he finally wants to die.
H. Suspense around the outcome- I think the audience will expect Osgood to die and sacrifice and be the martyr but they don’t; know how he will die, then they’ll think he’ll live , then die again.
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Elizabeth’s Powerful Setups
What I learned: this, here, is more of a brain-dump, than Hal’s nice, organized specifics—because I have so many scenes left to write. But oh, won’t this help! I’m going to print these pages to look at as I work on scenes I can now actually envision. Thanks again, Hal.
Build up their reputation:
Protagonists’ reputations:
Ed worked extremely well in the past—but he isn’t able to write his book now. And he hasn’t been able to play in years. He loves people—but only from a distance (subtext: he’s got serious issues with sexuality)
– First description – Walt: “You’re famous! We knew your name before we knew you. How many psychiatrists do ordinary people read about in the Times?
-Judy: The way you organize and connect people from so many disciplines to solve big problems. Have you ever thought of politics?
-Don: Transforming corporate culture. Building that homeless solution that actually works-with homeless people working! Is there any problem you can’t solve? But you know, the one thing I didn’t know about you was that you were married. You sure managed to keep your private life private.
-Judy: you care so much. Wade: cares about a whole city at once. Tell us more about Susan. She was so lucky to have you all these years.
– Ed talks with Don about being stuck trying to write his book for future psychiatrists who want to be leaders, promoting healthy work relationships. He’s got writer’s block for some reason.-With Don: How about travel to get the creative juices flowing. Where you been? Vancouver Canada, that’s it? Did you ever take a day off, to like, go to a local park?
-with all the boys (re: sex jokes) we’re just joshing. Can’t you have a little fun?
– Pat’s variety of names for Ed’s stodginess.
-day after day, no progress on his book
Grace can play! And (over) Work, and Love others—but not herself
-Her boss tells her the kids absolutely love her and she’s the most dynamic, creative creative director she’s ever known…but if their financial situation doesn’t improve she’ll still have to let her go.
-Jewels and Ed tell her she’ll burn herself out with over-working
We see Love in everything she does/says—for everyone but notably not herself. Dialogue and action are also full of play.
Mike can play! And love. Has serious trouble working due to ADHD/marijuana dependence
-Dude you ever considered being a professional gamer?
-You never show up late to a video game. Don’t get distracted, either. Total focus!
You could design games?
-Jewels to Grace: I’ve never seen a man more in love. Consistently over 11-fricken’ years! Take it from someone who marries people for a living. It doesn’t get any better than this.
-We see Love in everything Mike does/says. Dialogue and action are also full of play, impulsivity, creativity
Antagonist Reputation: Psychological defenses are protective but also can be very dangerous/costly
-Repression/suppression/denial might lead to…violence. Neglect. Great tragedy in numerous ways. First seen in dialogue between Ed and Judy/Wade. Then thread throughout, foreshadowing Ed’s specific repressed/denied trauma he’s kept ‘in a box’ – and his alcohol-fueled tailspin when the box gets opened.
-Thread through visuals, background audio/news etc., symbols that point to/object correlate the danger of each of the different human defense mechanisms. Especially RAGE (the “I don’t want to feel humiliation etc. internal voice” – that can quickly shut down growth. But also, in select instances empower it.
-Pat: Obsessiveness makes you a bore
-Ed can’t stop and smell the flowers, can’t enjoy male banter. Is increasingly socially isolative, literally sleeping in his car at one point.
-Ed is passively, then more actively suicidal, because he’s not dealing in a healthy way with is issues.
-Mike’s joint is laced with a hallucinogen – and he encourages his son to paint with his poop.
-The musicians at the wedding get stoned.
-Ed spirals with alcohol
-Grace gets so tired she forgets to bring Kristian in from his carseat in the garage. Nearly falls asleep at the wheel. Other…?
-Chris is literally hiding out from life in the basement in a passive-aggressive battle with his mother. Ed points out: cutting off his nose to spite his face. You want to end up like me?
-Linda’s narcissism is destructive to kids and—ultimately leaves her all alone.
Justification for the final actions
Ed’s angry demand: “Look up. Just look up, dammit!” Justified by, “Do you want to be at the end of your life, alone and suicidal like me? This is what happens when you try to control everything and everyone around you and never take a leap of faith.” Also justified by his multiple prior attempts to help Grace without feeling and expressing the helpless, guilty, and angry feelings he has.
Cast doubt on the success of the final actions
· Mike gives money to his dealer. Grace assumes he’s relapsed. Thanks to Ed’s influence, she’s now determined not to marry an addict.
· Mike’s dealer sees Ed at the park. Tells the family, “this is a seriously fucked up dude. Take it from an expert: 30 days detox to turn someone that age around— if you’re lucky. The wedding is in a week.
· Ed really does seem to be in a drunken tailspin. We’re worried about the extent of his alcohol use, his social isolation, he appears to be suicidal and we seen in flashback what he’d repressed and denied. How can he overcome?
Discuss the final actions openly
· Mike tells Jewels, “we need to plan this very carefully so nothing happens that Grace could interpret as a sign. Discuss all the things that will later go wrong. The flowers have to be perfect. No yellow.etc. Anything Adam would make (cake) would be beautiful to Grace. So long as it doesn’t look like poop.
· Mike says, “last time she went entirely missing before one of our weddings she showed up a week later—to tell me she was pregnant with Adam-Eve.
Twists that take it away
· Mark dies, triggering…
· Ed to run away to a hotel to drink. Then rent an apartment, more interested in how sealed the garage is.
· Flash back All is Lost while Ed’s on a binge: Ed’s heinous early childhood, Father’s drug abuse, (pimping of Ed/pornography?)—the full scene of the rock music. The heart attack. His mother on the phone describing ‘all the crap’ in the drug tox report. Ed’s dealer/band member telling him to toss the weed he just gave him—it’s laced with something really bad. Ed’s dad taking Ed’s weed—and smoking it, right before the music scene. How do you overcome that?
Alternate Hope/Fear
Ed – TP 2 –
Fear: Ed flees the hospital
Hope: Don invites him to talk about it, seems almost about to. “I’d forgotten. I’d totally forgot.”
Fear: Leaves Don.
Hope: Others Gardens people try to talk to him. So many good people in his life…
Fear: flees to his car. Buys whiskey. Goes to a motel
Hope: Wakes up hung over. Tells waitress this isn’t the way to live a good life
Fear: Instead of going home he looks at an apt. Much more interested in the garage
Hope: See him in the house on a bean bag
Fear: With many bottles of whiskey, most of them empty
Hope: tells himself in the mirror: this is no way to live
Fear: goes to the garage, into his car.
Hope: eyes open. He wakes up on the floor next to the beanbag – still alive.
Fear: he tries to drink out of empty bottles.
Hope: Jewels finds him at Susan’s grave. Says she’s been coming every day at this time for a month because Pat says this is when he comes.
Fear: Jewels says, “you look like hell.” Ed says, “this is hell.”
Hope: Ed tells Jewels everything
Grace – TP 2
Fear: her dad has just died. Ed has taken off. Mike’s asked if Mark’s death may have had anything to do with the amphetamines he helped him get, so Grace is pissed at Mike.
Hope: Dad’s left Grace a letter – telling her to do what he never did: get married.
Fear: Mike’s dealer shows up. Is Mike using again? Grace follows them
Hope: They’re at a Meeting!
Fear: a stash of money Mike had is missing
Hope: Mike Re-Proposes at a lovely dinner with a RING he’s been saving for. And all the other savings are now in a bank account.
Fear: Linda sabotages in some way
Hope: Mike and Grace work together with Jewels to plan a lovely wedding.
Fear: Dealer shows up and Mike seems too interested in talking to him. Pays him!
Hope: Grace kicks the dealer out. “If you ever come back I’m calling the cops.”
Fear: on his way out, dealer tells them what he’s discovered about Ed as Mike’s Private Investigator (the $$ was for this): he’s a drunk. “Take it from an expert, that old dude will need 30 day detox. Your wedding is in a week.”
Hope: Mike and Grace take action needed for the wedding
Fear: at the wedding we realize Mike forgot to order flowers. Also the cake is a mess. Also, a pipe breaks, flooding the kitchen, reception area, moves into the church. Grace decides it’s the clearest sign she’s ever received and disappears as…
Hope: Ed shows up. Says he knows where to find her – and does. In the park
Fear: the conversation isn’t going well.
Hope: Ed’s anger shakes Grace into hearing what she needs to…seeing all the people waiting to be in her life on the hill above the park
Fear: back at the church the musicians are stoned
Hope: Pat says Ed knows perfectly well what to do. What does she mean? Ed makes a call on his cell phone. Old ‘60’s rockers show up with a guitar for Ed and we have: wedding music.
Create and pay off emotional setups (negative; impact; overcomes; is recognized):
Adam – gets mocked for sewing by the neighbor kids who—want to help Adam-Eve get Grace’s dress fixed back up for the wedding after the park. (Impact/overcomes: rejected by friends, but has time to sew beautiful wedding clothes).
Ed – 1. clearly sad when looking at pictures of Susan/takes them out when the fire alarm sounds. Develops intellectually satisfying reln with Jewels with a hint of romance. Get’s winked at by the guys when he’s with Jewels at the wedding. 2. Tells Don he had a step father who helped him focus on school – but doesn’t seem to be much love there. Step Fa and mother moved to Greece when he started college and died there – never saw either again. See the pain in Ed’s face when Don is potently empathetic. Finds and increasingly connects with a new family. Gets invited to be in the family wedding pictures. 3. Hides the music he’s playing. Looks longing at musicians who come to play at the Gardens. Plays at the wedding—everyone sings and dances to his music. 4. Embarrassed by all male-sex banter. Playing poker in a scene reminiscent of the call in “40-year old Virgin” he’s told like Andy—and he clearly relates. Turned on by Jewel’s red panties at the park. Gets winks from the guys at the wedding. 5. First Park scene: reveal: he hasn’t been to a park in years. Never been to Disney Land. Never traveled, actually, anywhere. In the next scene: bucket list discussion, Walt makes one for him. We know what’s not on it but needs to be —and in the closing montage we see him enjoying all he’s missed. 6. Says it’s really satisfying to see a patient get better but seems to have nothing to say when asked about his personal growth. Which seems to bother him. See him do the psychological work with Jewels (and Susan, at her grave). See Jewels acknowledge this work—and the payoffs it has for him being able to help Grace, grown his relationship with Jewels, and stay in the family.
Grace – 1. A sweet, overworked, exhausted, nervous/emotional wreck in opening scenes, who is desperate and grateful for Ed’s help—and possible family connection. Gets increasingly more help from Mike as he gets clean and ADHD treatment, from Chris as he stands up to their mother for the both of them, from people at the theater when she takes time off. Comments at the wedding: everyone’s noticed her growth. 2. Clearly in love with Mike on the bus but can’t get married for entirely unclear reasons. Makes gradual progress understanding these reasons with Ed, a big help from her father’s letter, and a culmination when Ed (having been stern with himself about the same issues ) is able to be stern with her, which catapults her over the ledge (the paternal influence she’s lacked). She says “I do” and the whole church cheers, then dances as Ed’s band plays something raucous but terribly fun.
Christopher – it’s just pathetic how this attractive, computer whiz lives and barely works in his mother’s basement. When Ed helps him see how desperate his sister is, and how Chris makes it worse he feels horrible—and steps up to help. The real estate agent congratulates him on finally growing up (as do Jewels, Ed…)and he now has a place he’s not embarrassed to invite Lauren back to.
Michael – fired by a boss who really wanted and tried to make it work. Same as last time. He’s devastated—and worried b/c of the theater’s problems. Gets high to cope but the joint is laced and makes a disgusting mess with his kid which leaves Grace disgusted and Mike feeling like a bottom crawler. With the help of Ed he learns it’s not his fault—but it is his responsibility. Meds, then, finally Meetings – he gets re-hired and he’s a Rock Star (affirmed by various). Able to actually buy Grace a ring—and her eyes say it all.
Linda – feels the loss when the kids move out. Meets with Sister Mary. A hint there may be a little progress.
Suspense around the outcome (Ed coming to the wedding, Ed and Grace doing their psychological work—and Mike staying clean):
· Ed’s consistently reluctant to go to the wedding (because it makes him face what he’s missed in life). Then after Mark’s MI he bolts. When he apologizes to Grace, blurts out that he and Susan never married, only “hooked up three times,” Grace feel lied to/betrayed. Ed tries to re-connect by reaching out to Jewels, but it’s clear he isn’t ready to change. He does later to explain to Grace, “It was a trigger” and promise to come to the wedding. But then Mark’s death circumstances (drugs/loud video game) REALLY trigger—make Ed aware of things he’s actually repressed/denied (including his sense that his legitimate anger at his dad killed the man).
· Grace says she really wished Ed would come. Jewels answers, “Honey, he’s got a long road to travel.” Ed, drunk out of his mind for days on end, clearly does.
· At the wedding: no flowers, cake…looks like shit, pipe breaks. Grace goes missing
· Ed’s growing awareness he could be Mark’s father: ‘heavy petting’ discussion with Don (the only one ever in Ed’s apartment to see the ‘young Susan’ picture)— frankly the man looks more like you than he looks like her. Ed gets, then tosses a paternity test. Interpreting the engraving in the box. “You have to have been there.”
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Emmanuel’s Powerful Setups
Yes, setting up the third act is crucial. The best includes many twists and obstacles the hero must journey through in an effort to outshine any adversaries.
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