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Day 5 Assignments
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Matthew Frendo’s Uncertainty scene
WHAT I LEARNED: I learned that alternating hope and fear can keep an audience watching and on edge. This will be a great tool in creating fantastic scripts.
MOVIE: Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives
This is the intro. Tommy, who Jason terrorized in the last movie, is going to Jason’s grave to make sure he’s dead for good, with a friend accompanying him.
FADE IN: A NIGHT SKY FEAR Ominous black clouds roll across the heavens. THUNDER begins to RUMBLE within the clouds. An unsettling feeling of approaching danger. VARIOUS FOREST SHOTS Deep shadowed woods. A quiet breeze rustles some dry leaves. NOISY CRICKETS. Some unseen creature runs through the bush. THE CRICKETS STOP. EXT. FOREST ROAD - NIGHT LIGHT FEAR A very mangy wild dog feeds on what was once a rabbit run over in the road. ROARING AROUND THE BEND COMES AN OLD FORD PICKUP. The terrified canine runs for its life into the woods. INT. PICKUP TIGHT ON HOCKEY MASK FEAR We stare down on Jason's infamous mask held in a young man's (HAWES) hands. HAWES (Southern accent) I don't know how the hell you talked me into this, Jarvis. ANGLE ON HAWES FEAR Sitting in the passenger seat examining the mask is ALLEN HAWES. He is a rather unusual-looking guy in his mid- twenties, nervously smoking a cigar. HAWES Hell, I must be crazy. If the old institution ever found out about this...boy, they'd throw our butts back in an' strait-jacket 'em permanent. TOMMY (o.s.) You didn't have to come, Hawes... PRESS IN - ON DRIVER HOPE TOMMY JARVIS is a good-looking young man in his late teens. He drives like a bat out of hell, wearing a very intense expression of determination. TOMMY This is between me and Jason. TWO SHOT ON THEM HAWES FEAR (becoming more nervous) Yeah, I know. But I still don't get the therapy here. Jason's dead, right? How will seeing his corpse stop your hallucinations? HOPE TOMMY Seeing it won't. But destroying him once and for all will. Jason belongs in hell. TIGHT ON TOMMY HOPE TOMMY (coldly) I'm gonna see he gets there. HAWES stares wide-eyed at Tommy. He then turns to look out the back window. EXT. PICKUP TIGHT ON HAWES' FACE IN REAR WINDOW - TILT DOWN HOPE A huge can of gasoline, a crowbar and two shovels are seen in the back of the truck. THUNDER BEGINS TO RUMBLE LOUDER. EXT. FOREST ROAD - NIGHT Dust kicks up as the old pickup races down the road. LIGHTNING FLASHES, illuminating the dark woods. THUNDER CRASHES HELLISHLY. CUT TO: EXT. CEMETERY - NIGHT TRACKING along a row of tombstones, we follow Tommy and his flashlight as he searches. Hawes follows, carrying the gas can, tools and mask. THUNDER continues as a fierce, whistling WIND attacks. Tommy's eyes squint to read each tombstone, looking for the one. LIGHTNING FLASHES. WIDER - ON TOMMY FEAR Getting frustrated, but far from giving up, Tommy moves to the new row of markers. Suddenly he freezes and we PRESS IN on him. ANGLE ON JASON'S GRAVE LIGHTNING illuminates the tombstone that reads "Jason Voorhees - At Rest". TIGHT ON TOMMY As he stares, a deep terror chills his bones. Something else then catches his eye. ANGLE ON ANOTHER GRAVE FEAR Close to Jason's marker we see another. It reads "Pamela Voorhees - Beloved Mother." FULL SHOT ON TOMMY AND HAWES FEAR Returning his attention to Jason's grave, Tommy points "this is the one" to Hawes, who gulps and nods. Putting down the other items, the boys take hold of the shovels. Tommy raises his up first. THE SHOVEL plunges into the ground. A LIGHTNING BLAST punctuates it as it removes a large chunk of grass and dirt. CLOSE ON OUR GRAVEDIGGERS They begin to exhume the legendary killer's body. Tommy works feverishly. Hawes works nervously. Again and again their shovels strike, digging into the earth. SLOW DISSOLVE TO: THE SHOVEL (LATER) FEAR is scraping the dirt of of a rotted coffin lid. ANGLE UP - ON TOMMY The sweating boy tosses the shovel out of the shallow grave. Hawes silently hands him the crowbar from above. TIGHT ON COFFIN The crowbar is driven into the side. Tommy's hands take a firm grip and yank. A HORRIFIC CREAK resounds as the lid cracks open. LOW ANGLE - ON TOMMY FEAR He hands the crowbar back to Hawes. They exchange a look and a deep breath. Tommy then goes for it. His hands extend slowly toward the coffin. More THUNDER GROWLS. TOMMY'S FINGERS slip into the narrow space beneath the coffin lid. PRESS IN TIGHT ON HAWES' FACE He winces and bites his lip. PRESS IN TIGHT ON TOMMY'S FACE With all the courage he can muster, Tommy strains to do the deed. He yanks the casket open! ANGLE ON JASON IN COFFIN HOPE With a BRILLIANT FLASH OF LIGHTNING, the lid swings open to reveal the huge decomposing body of JASON. His HEAD IS COMPLETELY COVERED BY AN ARMY OF DISGUSTING MAGGOTS. HAWES GASPS He fights with his stomach to keep his dinner down.. TOMMY CLIMBS OUT OF GRAVE He turns and stares down at his nemesis. A slow hatred begins to build. We PRESS IN on Tommy, HEARING his horrid memories: His sister screams, NO, TOMMY, NO while 10-year-old Tommy kills Jason, repeating, "DIE, DIE!" TIGHT ON TOMMY HOPE As he listens, his eyes well up with a violent rage. WIDER HOPE Tommy looks around vengefully. Seeing an old fence a few yards away, he heads for it. Hawes is confused by his actions. HAWES Hey, where are you going? TRACK WITH TOMMY HOPE Without a word, he storms over to the rusty fence. He grabs one of the spearlike posts and pulls it out. LOW ANGLE - DOLLY BACK With fire in his eyes, Tommy stalks Jason with the weapon. THUNDER ROARS ABOVE. HAWES rushes up to Tommy, greatly alarmed. HAWES What's that for? Tommy, what are you doin', boy?! The boy storms right past him. REACHING THE GRAVE HOPE Tommy glares down hatefully at this monster who has destroyed his loved ones and his life. Raising the spear, he explodes and jumps down. TOMMY You bastard! LOW ANGLE - ON TOMMY As he lands in the grave, Tommy plunges the spear down with a mighty force. THUNDER AND LIGHTNING BLAST HELLISHLY. THE SPEAR HOPE penetrates deep into Jason's chest. ANGLE ON HAWES, DUMBFOUNDED HAWES Oh, shit. TOMMY withdraws it, then angrily rams it down again and again. CLOSE ON JASON'S FACE The force of the blows causes many of the numerous maggots to start dropping off his face. Grossly decayed flesh is illuminated the LIGHTNING. CLOSE ON TOMMY'S FACE HOPE Exhausted, his rage finally vented, he drives the spear into Jason for the last time. ANGLE DOWN - ON TOMMY AND JASON Over the boy's shoulder we see the long spear extending out of Jason's cold heart. WIDER HOPE Recovering from his tantrum, Tommy climbs out of the grave. Hawes stares open-mouthed at his friend. HAWES Boy, he must've really messed you over. TOMMY reaches down, picks up Jason's hockey mask, and stares at it. INSERT - HOCKEY MASK HOPE It seems to stare back evilly at him. TOMMY (O.S.) Yeah. Fuck you, Jason. RESUME TOMMY HOPE Tommy, knowing the nightmare is finally over, tosses the mask into the grave. He then bends down and starts to uncap the gas can. WIDER ON SCENE FEAR Without warning, the sky EXPLODES with a mass of LIGHTNING. One of the BOLTS OF ELECTRICITY is drawn to the spear as to a lightning rod. SPARKS fly as the spear is struck and electrified. Tommy and Hawes dive for cover. TIGHT ON JASON'S FACE FEAR JASON'S DECOMPOSED EYELIDS FLASH OPEN! ANGLE ON TOMMY AND HAWES HOPE Uncovering their heads, they look skyward in fear. Quickly, Tommy gets to his feet and goes for the troublesome spear. ANOTHER ANGLE FEAR The unintended lightning rod is still smoking a little from the blast. He touches it. It's hot. He pulls out a pair of gloves from his jacket. Putting them on, he then attempts to remove the spear. He can't get proper leverage. So Tommy jumps down into Jason's grave. LOW ANGLE - ON TOMMY He struggles to pull the spear out. It's apparently driven into the bottom of the coffin as well. Hawes leans down into the grave. HAWES Let's just get the hell out of here. My heart can't take any more of this. CLOSE ON JASON'S FACE FEAR Jason's wicked eyes glare at Tommy. RESUME TOMMY FEAR The boy, of course, does not see what's about to occur. He finally yanks the spear out, and throws it up onto the grass. Slowly he removes his gloves and tosses them to Hawes. He starts to climb out. JASON SPRINGS UP FROM BEHIND AND GRABS HIM. CLOSE ON HAWES SCREAMING FEAR He goes crazy with hysteria. He starts to run. ANGLE DOWN - ON GRAVE HOPE Tommy fights for his life as Jason tries to pull him down into the grave. He manages to kick Jason back down long enough to climb out. TOMMY HOPE scrambles for the gas can as the STORM CLOUDS DETONATE ABOVE. He gets it open, turns around, and starts throwing it on the rising corpse of Jason. ANGLE ON JASON HOPE/FEAR The gas splashes all over him as he keeps coming! REVERSE ON TOMMY HOPE He backs up as Jason stalks him. Knowing there's enough gas now on his predator, he drops the can. TIGHTER - ON JASON FEAR He's coming closer. TIGHTER - ON TOMMY HOPE/FEAR Panicking, he searches his pockets for the matches. He finds them. As he pulls them out, the STORM CLOUDS ERUPT WITH AN INCREDIBLE DOWNPOUR. JASON FEAR stops as the rain drenches him. Maggots start to wash off him as he stares at his helpless victim. RESUME TOMMY HOPE He tries desperately to light a match in this pounding rain. TOMMY'S HANDS FEAR struggling with the soaked matchbook. JASON HOPE starts to close in. Suddenly HAWES EMERGES FROM BEHIND, HOLDING UP A SHOVEL. He HOLLERS as he swings it. ANGLE ON HAWES FEAR He WHACKS the back of Jason's head as hard as he can. It doesn't even faze his undead superkiller. JASON WHIPS AROUND ON HAWES FEAR His arm lunges forcefully at Hawes' chest. ANGLE HAWES' BACK BIG FEAR JASON'S HAND, CLUTCHING HAWES' HEART, BURST OUT HAWES' BACK. ANGLE ON GRAVE Hawes' body falls back into Jason's grave. TIGHT ON COFFIN FEAR As Hawes lands in the coffin, the lid shuts over him. ANGLE ON TOMMY FEAR Horrified and weaponless, he runs like hell. LOW ANGLE - ON JASON FEAR Seeing his victim escaping, Jason whips around and looks for a weapon. He goes for the nefarious spear. Something in the grave then catches his attention. EXT. FOREST ROAD - NIGHT HOPE Tommy races out of the cemetery to his pickup. He jumps into the truck and takes off in the rain. EXT. CEMETERY - NIGHT FEAR With his back to us, Jason dons his beloved hockey mask and picks up the spear. We PRESS IN TIGHT ON HIM as he turns around to face us. FREEZE FRAME. Meaner, stronger, and more unstoppable than ever before... -
June Fortunato’s Uncertainty scene part 1 -day 5 of Boldness
What I learned – I have watched this movie, Galaxy Quest, at least 40 times, but I never realized the mechanics of the script. This was a very fun exercise and I hope to improve my script with this lesson.
GALAXY QUEST
A group of surviving aliens believes that the Galaxy Quest show (like Star Trek) was real and that the show was a series of historical documents. The race is running for their lives and solicit the actors of the show (whom they think are actual astronauts) to help them beat the enemy who’s determined to annihilate the remaining members of the race. They’ve meticulously recreated an actual, functional ship. The actors are on the ship, in a real adventure. In this scene, they have to depend on a “beam me up scottie” transporter which digitizes someone and then reconstitutes them. The instrument has not been tested.
80 INT. SHIP – DIGITAL CONVEYER ROOM 80
NOTE: AFTER BEING ATTACKED THE CREW MADE IT OUT ON A SHUTTLE CRAFT (HOPE), BUT JASON, THE COMMANDER, IS STILL ON THE PLANET IN SERIOUS DANGER. (FEAR)
Gwen, Alexander and the others watch Jason on a viewscreen.
NOTE: THEY FIND JASON ON THE VIEWER AND THERE’S HOPE THAT THEY CAN GRAB HIM WITH THE TRANSPORTER. (HOPE)
GWEN
Thank God. Are you okay?
JASON
Yeah. But I’ve got Gorignak staring me in the face. I think I can take it though…
NOTE: (FEAR) BUT NO, HE’S GOT A MONSTER LOOKING AT HIM. HE’S UNDERPLAYING IT. HE’S IN TROUBLE.
GWEN
Jason, we’re going to use the digital conveyer to get you out of there.
NOTE: (HOPE) THERE’S HOPE THAT THEY CAN SNAG HIM BEFORE HE GETS SLAUGHTERED.
Jason swipes at the pig lizard. It HISSES at him petulantly.
JASON
The digital conveyer? You mean I’m going to get diced into cubes and sorted up there in a thousand pieces?
NOTE: (FEAR) YEAH, HE COULD BE DECIMATED BY THE UNTESTED TECHNOLOGY.
FRED
Right.
JASON
I’ll take my chances with Gorignak.
The pig Lizard NIPS at Jason. Jason throws a rock at it.
GWEN
Jason, we’ve got to get you out of there. It’s perfectly safe, isn’t it, Teb?
NOTE: (HOPE) WE’RE GONNA GET YOU OUT. WE’RE WORKING ON IT.
TEB
It has never been successfully tested.
NOTE: (FEAR) UNTESTED.
JASON
What? What did he say?
GWEN
Nothing. Hold please.
NOTE: (FEAR) REVELATION.
She switches off the vox, they turn to Teb.
TEB
Theoretically the mechanism is fully operational. However, it was built to accommodate your anatomy, not ours. Our actual hands are six fingered and jointed ninety degrees to yours. But now that Sergeant Chen is here he can operate it… It was designed watching his motions from the historical records. Everyone turns to Fred. For the first time, he looks a little apprehensive. He laughs nervously.
FRED
Well I mean I can’t… I can supervise of course, but…
NOTE: (FEAR) FRED IS JUST AN ACTOR. HE DOESN’T KNOW!
ALEXANDER (TO VOX)
Jason, we’re going to test it.
JASON
Okay… On what?
TOMMY
How about the pig-lizard?
JASON
Hey I was doing okay with the pig lizard.
NOTE: (HOPE) THEY’LL PRETEST SO THEY’LL SAVE JASON FROM THE FIRST TRY.
Alexander and the others move aside to let Fred at the control panel. The controls are complicated, and fit Fred’s hand like metal gloves. Teb GASPS as he grasps the controls.
NOTE: (FEAR) THE CONTROLS ARE COMPLICATED FOR THE ACTOR.
TEB
I’m sorry. It is very exciting to see the master at the controls. The operation of the conveyer is more art than science.
Fred moves his hands and the creature is TARGETED in crosshairs of the instrument panel. He slowly twists his wrist as he manipulates a ever cautiously and….
NOTE: (HOPE) BUT FRED IS ADROIT AND HAS THE TEST CREATURE IN HIS CROSSHAIRS. GREAT SIGN.
81 ON THE PLANET’S SURFACE 81
The pig lizard digitizes and disappears.
NOTE: (HOPE) EXCELLENT. THE TRANSPORTER SNAGGED IT.
82 CONVEYOR ROOM 82
Everyone LOOKS very impressed. Fred starts to smile, “no sweat” as the creature rematerializes on the platform. But something is very wrong. We hear the thing’s HORRIBLE SQUELS over the disgusted reactions of the crew.
NOTE: (FEAR) UH OH. DISASTER.
JASON
What? What?
NOTE: HAVE TO NOTE THE COMEDY OF THE SCRIPT- POOR JASON IS IN THE DARK.
ALEXANDER
(singsong)
Nothing.
JASON
I heard something. A squeal.
GWEN
Oh no. Everything’s fine.
TEB
But… the animal is inside out.
NOTE: (FEAR) THE ANIMAL IS DECIMATED.
JASON
I heard that! It’s INSIDE OUT!
Then the monstrous remains of the creature EXPLODES.
NOTE: HYSTERICAL COMIC TIMING. YOU REALLY SHOULD SEE THIS MOVIE.
TEB
And It exploded!
JASON
What? Did I just hear that It came back INSIDE CUT, and ‘then It EXPLODED? Hello?
GWEN
Hold please.
NOTE: THE UNDERPLAYING (MACHINE HUMOR) HEIGHTENS THE COMEDY.
83 PLANET SURFACE 83
Jason looks up to the rock ledge. The unseen DEMONS continue to chant “GORIGNAK… GORIGNAK…
NOTE: (FEAR) IF THE BAD GUY HAS TURNED TO MUSH, WHY ARE THE OTHERS CHANTING THAT NAME?
JASON
Wait, the pig lizard is gone. Why are they still chanting for the pig lizard?
GWEN
Turn on the translation circuit.
Teb flicks a switch and we hear the Demons in English.
DEMONS
ROCK… ROCK… ROCK…
NOTE: (FEAR) WHY ARE THEY CHANTING ROCK?
Suddenly Gwen and the others notice that the entire ROCK FACE behind Jason moves slightly, like a granite MUSCULATURE… Jason, facing forward, doesn’t see it.
GWEN
Jason?… I don’t think the pig lizard was Gorignak…
NOTE (FEAR) THE PIG LIZARD WAS THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES.
JASON
What the hell are you talking about?
Behind Jason, the boulders in the wall begin moving forward, EMERGING from the rock face, and a GIANT emerges… A MONSTER made of granite… Jason turns slowly, with a feeling of dread, as he hears the rumbling SOUND of the monster’s body freeing itself from the rock face around It
NOTE (FEAR!!) THIS MONSTER IS UNSURMOUNTABLE
JASON
Oh darn.
NOTE: AGAIN, THE COMIC UNDERPLAYING/ UNDERSTATED DIALOGUE IS WHAT KEEPS ME WATCHING THIS MOVIE OVER AND OVER.
He takes a step back, holding his puny wooden spear.
NOTE: (FEAR) HE HAS A TINY WOODEN SPEAR AGAINST A ROCK WALL???
The ROCK MONSTER steps forward, 20 feet tall. Its face mostly featureless yet ominous and determined and upset, and it heads straight for JASON.
JASON
Guys, digitize me…
NOTE: (HOPE) HE MIGHT GET OUT OF THERE. WE HOPE HE’LL GET OUT IN ONE PIECE. WE (FEAR) THAT HE’LL BE TURNED TO MUSH.
Jason backs away slowly, around the corner, but the monster follows CRUNCH CRUNCH forward…
JASON
Guys…?!!
84 INT. SHIP – DIGITAL CONVEYER ROOM 84
Fred looks genuinely distressed.
NOTE: (FEAR) FRED WORRIES THAT HE’LL TURN JASON TO MUSH AND THAT HE WON’T DO IT RIGHT.
GWEN
C’ non Fred… They based it on YOUR hand movements. Fred backs away, terror on his face… He starts talking to himself nervously…
NOTE: (FEAR) FRED, WHO’S NORMALLY COOL SELF TALKS HIMSELF TO GAIN COURAGE.
FRED
All my professional life they’d say “can you ride a horse” Fred? And I’d say “Of course, since I was a boy!” “Can you fence Fred?” “Funny you should ask, I’ve won six international
competitions.” I learned never to say I can’t do this. You don’t get the part if you say I can’t do this. But this is life or death! May God forgive me Jason but I can’t do this.
NOTE: (FEAR) WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF HE DOESN’T BEAM JASON UP? THE ROCK MONSTER WILL SQUASH HIM.
85 ON THE PLANET
Jason is in a FULL OUT RUN being chased by the ROCK MONSTER which STOMPS forward, DEMOLISHING everything in its path.
NOTE: (FEAR) FRED, BRAVE FRED, IS BACKING OUT.
ALEXANDER
Fred’s no good, Jason. You’re going to have to kill it
JASON
KILL IT? Well I’m open to ideas!…
NOTE: (MAYBE HOPE?) DOES SOMEBODY HAVE A SUGGESTION OF HOW TO KILL THIS THING?
TOMMY
Go for the eyes. Like in episode 22 with-
JASON
It doesn’t have eyes.
TOMMY
The throat, the mouth… Its vulnerable spots.
JASON
It’s a ROCK. It doesn’t HAVE vulnerable spots!
GUY
I know… You contruct a weapon. Look around, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?…
JASON
A LATHE??? Get off the line, Guy.’
The monster’s shadow falls over Jason..
NOTE: (FEAR) NORMALLY COOL JASON IS TERRIFIED.
JASON
ALEXANDER??? PLEASE? You’re my advisor, advise me!
ALEXANDER
… . Well you have to figure out what it wants… What’s its motivation?
JASON
It’s a DAMN ROCK MONSTER!!! It doesn’t HAVE motivation!
ALEXANDER
That’s your problem. You were never serious about the caraft… (closing his eyes)
“I’m a rock… I just want to be a rock… Still. Peaceful.. Tranquil..” …”Oh, but what’s this? Something’s making noise… No, not noise, no… MOVEMENT. VIBRATIONS. Make the vibrations stop, they go straight into me like a knife!… I must CRUSH the thing that makes the vibrations…”
JASON
Am I crazy, or do you actually have something there?
NOTE: (HOPE) DOES THE BRITISH ACTOR ACTUALLY HAVE A GOOD IDEA?
Jason reaches down and grabs a handful of small rocks. But at that moment the rock monster reaches down and GRABS him in his fist. Jason is carried into the air and dangled above the beast’s mouth. Jason keeps his composure enough to toss one of the rocks at a natural rocky OVERRANG along one wall. The thrown rocks dislodge a few more rocks in the wall which TUMBLE to the ground, making NOISE. The rock monster TURNS toward the sound. The monster drops Jason. Jason lands, throws another rock. The monster CHARGES toward the wall, causing an AVALANCHE, burying the monster. All is still.
NOTE: (HOPE) THE ROCK MONSTER IS BURIED.
86 IN THE SHIP 86
The actors CHEER, but their relief is short lived as…
87 ON THE PLANET – 87
The rubble RE-FORMS and the monster EMERGES, even LARGER than before! It begins to make a beeline for a perplexed Jason.
NOTE: (FEAR) THE THING RECONSTITUTED.
JASON
But I’m not moving, I… Oh no. My heartbeat.
IN THE ROCK MONSTER’S POV we head toward Jason and hear Jason’s heartbeat magnified like a drum, THA-THUMP THA-THUMP.
JASON
Fred? Fred, can you hear me? You’ve got to do this… It’s up to you.
88 ON THE SHIP -. 88
Fred moves to the panel, mortified.
NOTE: (HOPE) FRED IS FINALLY COMING TO FRED
No, I’ll kill you. .
JASON
Listen Fred. You did this for four years on the show. You can do it now… Put your hands on the controls..
NOTE SUPREME EXAMPLE OF DELAY. IN FACT, THE WHOLE SCENE IS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF SUSPENSE.
Fred puts his trembling hands on the controls… Sweat pours down his temple.
NOTE: (HOPE) FRED IS GONNA DO IT.
FRED
I don’t know… I don’t know.
The monster picks up speed. STOMP STOMP STOMP.
NOTE: (FEAR) MONSTER IS ZEROING IN.
JASON
Fred, I worked summer stock with Hopkins. Regional theater with Hoffman. But I swear to God I have never met an actor who could hit his mark, or nail his lines with the professional consistency of a Freddy Kwan. You’re Mr. Dependable… You can do this.
FRED
You worked with Hopkins? I worship Hopkins.
Fred draws confidence from these words. The Monster is upon Jason… It raises its fist…
NOTE: (FEAR) JASON IS GOING TO GET CLOBBERED
JASON
Digitize me, Fred.
A moment of concentration – as everybody holds their breath – and then Fred works the controls.
NOTE: (HOPE) FRED IS DOING IT
Jason is STILL THERE and..
NOTE: (FEAR) IT DIDN’T WORK
89 THE MONSTER SMASHES DOWN HIS FIST RIGHT DOWN ONTO JASON…. at the very moment he digitizes.
NOTE: (HOPE) AND (FEAR) FRED GOT JASON BUT WILL JASON COME BACK AS MUSH?
The fist goes right through the scattering blocks. Everybody on ship holds their breath and
watches the..
90 DIGITIZING PLATFORM 90
Jason’s body Instantly DUCKS and CONTORTS to avoid the ROCK FIST that moments ago descended uoon him. Everyone runs up to him as he regains his composure, celebrating, hugging him and patting him on the back. Even Alexander looks relieved, but won’t admit it.
NOTE; (HOPE) JASON GETS BACK IN ONE PIECE!
ALEXANDER
I see you managed to get your shirt off.
NOTE: I TRULY LOVE THIS SCRIPT. IT’S MASTERFUL.
-
DAY 5 UNCERTAINITY
Lisa’s Uncertainty
What I learned is that keeping the tension in the scene between hope and fear is exciting. It can help move the story along in a suspenseful way.
MOVIE: “It’s a Wonderful Life”
George was about to leave town on his honeymoon when he and Mary see that there’s a run on the bank. George goes into his Building & Loan to see what’s going on.
INT. POTTER’S OFFICE
CLOSEUP – POTTER ON PHONE
POTTER
If you close your doors before six P.M. you will never reopen.
He realizes George has hung up, and clicks the phone furiously.
(FEAR)
INT. GEORGE’S OFFICE – DAY
CLOSE SHOT – GEORGE AND UNCLE BILLY
UNCLE BILLY
George, was it a nice wedding? Gosh, I wanted to be there.
GEORGE
Yeah…
(looks at string on
Uncle Billy’s finger)
…you can take this one off now.
An ominous SOUND of angry voices comes from the other room. George and Uncle Billy exit from George’s office.
INT. OUTER OFFICE – BUILDING AND LOAN – DAY
MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT
More people have crowded around the counter. Their muttering stops and they stand silent and grim. There is panic in their faces.
(FEAR)
GEORGE
Now, just remember that this thing isn’t as black as it appears.
(HOPE)
As George speaks, sirens are heard passing in the street below. The crowd turn to the windows, then back to George.
GEORGE
I have some news for you, folks. I’ve just talked to old man Potter, and he’s guaranteed cash payments at the bank. The bank’s going to reopen next week.
(HOPE)
ED
But, George, I got my money here.
CHARLIE
Did he guarantee this place?
(FEAR)
GEORGE
Well, no, Charlie. I didn’t even ask him. We don’t need Potter over here.
(HOPE)
Mary and Ernie have come into the room during this scene. Mary stands watching silently.
CHARLIE
I’ll take mine now.
(FEAR)
GEORGE
No, but you… you… you’re thinking of this place all wrong. As if I had the money back in a safe. The money’s not here. Your money’s in Joe’s house…
(to one of the men)
…right next to yours. And in the
Kennedy house, and Mrs. Macklin’s house, and a hundred others. Why, you’re lending them the money to build, and then, they’re going to pay it back to you as best they can.
Now what are you going to do?
Foreclose on them?
(FEAR)
TOM
I got two hundred and forty-two dollars in here, and two hundred and forty-two dollars isn’t going to break anybody.
MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT – ANOTHER ANGLE
GEORGE
(handing him a slip)
Okay, Tom. All right. Here you are.
You sign this. You’ll get your money in sixty days.
(HOPE)
TOM Sixty days?
(FEAR)
GEORGE
Well, now that’s what you agreed to when you bought your shares.
There is a commotion at the outer doors. A man (Randall) comes in and makes his way up to Tom.
RANDALL
Tom… Tom, did you get your money?
TOM
No.
RANDALL
Well, I did. Old man Potter’ll pay fifty cents on the dollar for every share you got. (shows bills)
(HOPE)
CROWD
(ad lib)
Fifty cents on the dollar!
RANDALL Yes, cash!
(HOPE)
TOM
(to George)
Well, what do you say?
GEORGE
Now, Tom, you have to stick to your original agreement. Now give us sixty days on this.
TOM
(turning to Randall)
Okay, Randall.
He starts out.
MRS. THOMPSON
Are you going to go to Potter’s?
TOM
Better to get half than nothing.
(HOPE)
A few other people start for the door. CAMERA PANS WITH
George as he vaults over the counter quickly, speaking to the people.
GEORGE
Tom! Tom! Randall! Now wait… now listen… now listen to me. I beg of you not to do this thing. If Potter gets hold of this Building and Loan there’ll never be another decent house built in this town. He’s already got charge of the bank. He’s got the bus line. He’s got the department stores. And now he’s after us. Why? Well, it’s very simple. Because we’re cutting in on his business, that’s why. And because he wants to keep you living in his slums and paying the kind of rent he decides.
(FEAR)
The people are still trying to get out, but some of them have stood still, listening to him. George has begun to make an impression on them.
GEORGE
Joe, you lived in one of his houses, didn’t you? Well, have you forgotten? Have you forgotten what he charged you for that broken-down shack?
(to Ed)
Here, Ed. You know, you remember last year when things weren’t going so well, and you couldn’t make your payments. You didn’t lose your house, did you? Do you think Potter would have let you keep it?
(turns to address the room again)
Can’t you understand what’s happening here? Don’t you see what’s happening? Potter isn’t selling. Potter’s buying! And why? Because we’re panicky and he’s not. That’s why. He’s picking up some bargains. Now, we can get through this thing all right. We’ve got to stick together, though. We’ve got to have faith in each other.
(FEAR AND HOPE)
MRS. THOMPSON
But my husband hasn’t worked in over a year, and I need money.
WOMAN
How am I going to live until the bank opens?
MAN
I got doctor bills to pay.
MAN
I need cash.
MAN
Can’t feed my kids on faith.
(FEAR)
During this scene Mary has come up behind the counter. Suddenly, as the people once more start moving toward the door, she holds up a roll of bills and calls out
MARY
How much do you need?
George jumps over the counter and takes the money from Mary.
(HOPE)
GEORGE
Hey! I got two thousand dollars! Here’s two thousand dollars. This’ll tide us over until the bank reopen.
(to Tom)
All right, Tom, how much do you need?
TOM
(doggedly)
Two hundred and forty-two dollars!
GEORGE
(pleading)
Aw, Tom, just enough to tide you over till the bank reopens.
(HOPE)
TOM
I’ll take two hundred and forty-two dollars.
(FEAR)
George starts rapidly to count out the money. Tom throws his passbook on the counter.
GEORGE
There you are.
TOM
That’ll close my account.
GEORGE
Your account’s still here. That’s a loan.
(HOPE)
Mary turns and slips out through the crowd, followed by Ernie. George hands the two hundred and forty-two dollars to Tom, and speaks to Ed, the next in line.
GEORGE
Okay. All right, Ed?
ED
I got three hundred dollars here, George.
Uncle Billy takes out his wallet and takes out all the cash he’s got.
GEORGE
Aw, now, Ed… what’ll it take till the bank reopens? What do you need?
ED
Well, I suppose twenty dollars.
(HOPE)
GEORGE
Twenty dollars. Now you’re talking.
Fine. Thanks, Ed.
(to Mrs. Thompson, next in line)
All right, now, Mrs. Thompson. How much do you want?
MRS. THOMPSON
But it’s your own money, George.
(FEAR)
GEORGE
Never mind about that. How much do you want?
(HOPE)
MRS. THOMPSON
I can get along with twenty, all right.
GEORGE
(counting it out) Twenty dollars.
MRS. THOMPSON
And I’ll sign a paper.
GEORGE
You don’t have to sign anything. I know you’ll pay it back when you can. That’s okay. (to woman next in line)
All right, Mrs. Davis.
MRS. DAVIS
Could I have seventeen-fifty?
GEORGE
Seven…
(he kisses her)
Bless your heart, Of course you can have it. You got fifty cents? (counting) Seven…
(HOPE)
WIPE TO:
INT. OUTER OFFICE BUILDING AND LOAN – NIGHT
CLOSE SHOT
George, Uncle Billy and Cousin Tilly are behind the counter, watching the minute hand of a clock on the wall as George counts off the seconds. Cousin Eustace is ready to close the door.
UNCLE BILLY
(excitedly)
We’re going to make it, George.
They’ll never close us up today!
(FEAR)
GEORGE
(counting)
Six… five… four… three… two…
one… Bingo!
Cousin Eustace slams and locks the door, and scurries around the counter to join the others.
GEORGE
We made it! Look…
(holds up two bills)
… look, we’re still in business! We’ve still got two bucks left!
Uncle Billy is taking a drink out of his bottle.
GEORGE
Well, let’s have some of that. Get
some glasses, Cousin Tilly.
(to Uncle Billy)
We’re a couple of financial wizards.
UNCLE BILLY
Those Rockefellers!
GEORGE
Get a tray for these great big important simoleons.
UNCLE BILLY
We’ll save them for seed. A toast! They raise their glasses.
GEORGE
A toast! A toast to Papa Dollar and to Mama Dollar, and if you want the old Building and Loan to stay in business, you better have a family real quick.
COUSIN TILLY
I wish they were rabbits.
GEORGE
I wish they were too. Okay, let’s put them in the safe and see what happens.
The four of them parade through the office; George puts the two dollars in the safe.
(HOPE)
CLOSE SHOT – GROUP AROUND THE SAFE DOOR
-
Anna Harper Day 5 Uncertainty
What I learned from this assignment; I learned the value of protracted uncertainty over the length of a scene creates a great deal of audience anticipation and engagement.
MOONSTRUCK WRITTEN BY JOHN PATRICK SHANLEY
Staring Cher AS LORETTA
and Nicholas Cage AS RONNY
SITUATION Cher has agreed to marry Ronnie, a marriage of desperation with no love/passion or harmony. Ronnie has asked Lorreta to visit his estranged brother and ensure he comes to the wedding.
Somebody to see Ronny. INT. THE BASEMENT OVEN ROOM - DAY There are two coal-fired ovens, one at either end of the room. There is a large wooden table roughly center. And various pieces of baking equipment, dough-mixers, etc., scattered willy-nilly. And everywhere there is bread. PIETRO, a baker, is working at one of the ovens with a long wooden spatula. RONNY is working at the other oven. Actually, he is just staring in the open door at the baking bread and burning coals. He's dressed in black jeans streaked with flour, a white restaurant shirt, white cotton gloves, and around his neck, a red handkerchief. He is black-haired, NOTES handsome and intense. FEARan intense excahnge ROCCO Ronny! RONNY What! ROCCO Somebody here to see you. Ronny turns and takes in Loretta. RONNY Have you come from my brother? LORETTA Yes. RONNY Why? LORETTA I'm going to marry him. RONNY You are going to marry my brother? LORETTA Yes. Do you want... NOTES unease a step beforeFEAR
the conversation is
fraught and off the topic
intended RONNY I have no life. LORETTA Excuse me. RONNY I have no life. My brother Johnny took my life from me. LORETTA I don't understand. Everything in the oven room has stopped and everyone is watching. RONNY And now he's getting married. He has his, he's getting his. And he wants me to come? What is life? He picks up the wooden spatula and slides it into the oven. LORETTA I didn't come here to upset you. Ronny slides a bunch of loaves out of the oven on the spatula, turns them around, and slides them back in. NOTES FEARRonny is getting angry
about his life. RONNY They say bread is life. So I bake bread, bread, bread. (He's picking up loaves of bread from one of the boxes on the floor, and casually tossing them across the room.) And the years go by! By! By! And I sweat and shovel this stinking dough in and outta this hot hole in the wall and I should be so happy, huh, sweetheart? You want me to come to the wedding of my brother Johnny?!! Where is my wedding? Chrissy! Over by the wall! Gimme the big knife! CHRISSY No, Ronny! Barbara appears in the doorway and comes down the stairs into the room. NOTES RONNY FEARGimme the big knife! I'm gonna cut my throat! LORETTA Maybe I should come back another time. RONNY FEAR No, I want you to see this! I want you to watch me kill myself so you can tell my brother on his wedding day! Chrissy, gimme the big knife! CHRISSY I tell you I won't do it! RONNY (to Loretta) Do you know about me? BARBARA Oh, Mr. Cammareri! RONNY Nothing is anybody's fault, but things happen. (holds up his left hand to Loretta) Look. He pulls off the glove. The hand is made of wood. RONNY It's wood. It's fake. Five years ago I was engaged to be married. Johnny came in here, he ordered bread from me. I put it in the slicer and I talked with him and my hand got caught cause I wasn't paying attention. The slicer chewed off my hand. It's funny 'cause - when my fiancé saw that I was maimed, she left me for another man. LORETTA That's the bad blood between you and Johnny? RONNY That's it. LORETTA But that wasn't Johnny's fault. RONNY I don't care! I ain't no freakin monument to justice! I lost my hand, I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand, Johnny has his bride! You come in here and you want me to put away my NOTES heartbreak and forget? FEARRonny's emtions
are angry out of control He goes to the big table, which is floured and covered with bread. He sweeps everything off the tabletop during the next. RONNY Is it just a matter of time till a man opens his eyes and gives up his one dream of happiness? Maybe. Maybe. All I have... Have you come here, Stranger, Bride of my Brother, to take these last few loaves from my table? Alright. Alright. The table is bare. He stares at it blankly. He wanders away, to the back room where the flour sacks are kept. We hear a single sob escape him from that room, and then silence. Everyone in the oven room looks after him. Then Chrissy approaches Loretta. She holds the big knife at her side. CHRISSY This is the most tormented man I have ever known. I am in love with this man. He doesn't know that. I never told him cause he can never love anybody since he lost his hand and his girl. She holds out the knife. CHRISSY FEARaudience wonders if they are all
out of control Here. Why don't you just kill him? It would be so much more kind than coming here and inviting him to a wedding like he'll never have. Loretta considers Chrissy, decides what she's going to do, and goes to the flour room. INT. OF THE FLOUR ROOM - DAY Many 50 lb. bags of flour are stacked under a bare electric bulb. A rough stone staircase opposite is lit by daylight from above. Ronny, quietly distraught, stands leaning by his forehead against a stack of flour. Loretta approaches him. HOPEShe feels for him. LORETTA Where you live? He points to the stone staircase. RONNY Upstairs. She touches his shoulder. LORETTA Come on. HOPE He follows her up the stairs. EXT. THE STAIRCASE ENTRANCE ON THE STREET Loretta and Ronny emerge. He gestures. They enter the apartment building behind the bakery.EXT. RONNY'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY A three-story walk-up above Cammareri's Bakery. INT. RONNY'S APARTMENT - DAY It's a two-bedroom apartment. The decor reflects Ronny's love of the opera. The furniture is overstuffed, fringed in the colors of Italian passion. But it is all a bit faded, the remains of an old flamboyance. The walls are decorated with opera posters; and over the fireplace there is a painting depicting a scene from "La Boheme": Mimi is standing in the snow. Ronny stares at the picture of Mimi in the La Boheme poster. Loretta comes in from the kitchen and sets down a cup of coffee. LORETTA You ready for the coffee? Loretta moves back into the kitchen. Ronny turns and watches as she walks down the hall. RONNY Loretta. What's that smell? LORETTA I'm making you a steak. RONNY HOPE/FEARRonny is ambivalent You don't have to help me.
LORETTA I know that. I do what I want. RONNY I like it well done. LORETTA You'll eat this bloody to feed your blood. INT. RONNY'S APARTMENT -DINING ROOM - DAY CU of Ronny's artificial hand, holding a fork stuck in a steak. With his right he is cutting his steak. He switches hands and eats hungrily. Loretta watches. RONNY This is good. Uhh... LORETTA Loretta. RONNY Where'd Johnny find you? LORETTA He knew my husband who died. RONNY How'd he die? LORETTA Bus hit him. RONNY Fast. LORETTA Instantaneous. RONNY When you get engaged? LORETTA Yesterday. Ronny drops his knife and fork and turns away. Loretta is not surprised and does not move. RONNY Why? LORETTA Why what? RONNY I don't know. LORETTA (smiles) HOPELorreta is
fishing. So. Five years ago your hand got cut off and your woman left you for another man. No woman since then? RONNY No. LORETTA Stupid. RONNY When your husband get hit by the bus? LORETTA Seven years ago. RONNY How many men since then? LORETTA Just Johnny. RONNY Stupid yourself. LORETTA No. Unlucky. I have not been lucky. RONNY I don't care about Luck, you understand me? It ain't that. LORETTA What? Do you think you're the only one ever shed a tear? RONNY Why you talking to me? LORETTA You got any whiskey? How 'bout giving me a glass of whiskey? . LORETTA AND RONNY AT THE TABLE WITH A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY Camera is close on Scotch being poured into two glasses. Loretta picks up her glass and swallows a healthy dose. RONNY She was right to leave me. LORETTA You think so? RONNY Yes. LORETTA You really are stupid, you know that. Loretta pours herself another shot. RONNY You don't know nothing about it. LORETTA I was raised that a girl gets married young. I didn't get married until I was twenty-eight. I met a man. I loved him. I married him. He wanted to have a baby right away. I said no. Then he got hit by a bus. No man. No baby. No nothing! I did not know that man was a gift I could not keep. I didn't know... You tell me a story and you think you know what it means, but I see what the true story is, and you can't. (she pours them both another drink) She didn't leave you! You can't see what you are. I can see everything. You are a wolf! HOPESUB TEXT
a lot of chemistry RONNY I'm a wolf? LORETTA The big part of you has no words and it's-a wolf. This woman was a trap for you. She caught you and you could not get away. (She grabs his wooden hand) So you chewed off your foot! That was the price you had to pay to be free. (throws his hand down) Johnny had nothing to do with it. You did what you had to do, between you and you, and I know I'm right, I don't care what you say. And now you're afraid because you found out the big part of you is a wolf that has the courage to bite off its own hand to save itself from the trap of the wrong love. That's why there has been no woman since that wrong woman. You are scared to death what the wolf will do if you make that mistake again! RONNY What are you doing! LORETTA I'm telling you your life! RONNY Stop it! LORETTA No! RONNY Why are you marrying Johnny? He's a fool! LORETTA Because I have no Luck! RONNY (pounding on the table) He made me look the wrong way and I cut off my hand. He could make you look the wrong way and you could cut off your whole head! LORETTA I am looking where I should to become a bride! RONNY A bride without a head! LORETTA A wolf without a foot! FEAR/HOPERonny being
unpredicatble
borderline violent
Ronny stiff-arms everything off the dining table and grabs Loretta. They kiss passionately. He pulls her up on the table and over the table to him. They are in each other's arms. They are on fire. Loretta pushes him away, gasping for air. LORETTA Wait a minute! Wait a minute! She changes her mind and lunges into another kiss. They stop again after a long moment. They really haven't breathed. They both suck in air and look at each other in wonder and fear and passion. RONNY It's like I'm falling! It's like I'm in the ocean! They kiss again. When they pull apart again, Loretta is crying. LORETTA I have no Luck! He picks her up in his arms. RONNY Son of a bitch! LORETTA Where are you taking me? RONNY To the bed. LORETTA Oh. Oh God. I don't care about anything. I don't care about anything! Take me to the bed. HOPEthat their loveless
existences can be redeemed
He carries her away, into the bedroom. MUSIC: "O SOAVE FANCIULLA", from "La Boheme." The MUSIC CONTINUES THROUGH THE NEXT SCENE. INT. RONNY'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM Ronny is laying her down in the bed. He is over her. They look into each other's eyes. RONNY I can't believe what is happening. LORETTA Me neither.I was dead. LORETTA I was dead, too. They kiss. When they part there is a drop of blood on Loretta's lips. RONNY Your blood. LORETTA All my life I have never reached a man. I knew that I would reach my husband, but I took my time and he was dead. Ronny. RONNY Loretta. LORETTA I want to cut you open and crawl inside of you. I want you to swallow me. RONNY I've got you. LORETTA Get all of me. Take everything. RONNY What about Johnny? LORETTA You're mad at him, take it out on me, take your revenge on me! Take everything, leave nothing for him to marry! Hollow me out so there's nothing left but the skin over my bones. Suck me dry! RONNY Alright. Alright. There will be nothing left. Their eyes are boiling with fierce animal tears. They have opened their souls to each other and they are coming together. The MUSIC SWELLS to a terrible triumph. -
Cameron Martin’s Uncertainty Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is…the necessity for “Hope” and “Fear” to be balanced with appropriate stakes. Similar to Neuton’s “With every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction,” when it comes to the Hope versus Fear mechanic, you have to have the possibility of equally very, very bad things to balance against what you hope for. I just watched THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD last night, and it plays an overarching uncertainty established at the beginning (Hope: Michael will be reinstated at a AAA bodyguard. Fear: The Kincaid’s will screw it up so completely that he’ll never be reinstated again, or they’ll put him in a situation that kills him.). Through that overarching uncertainty, the rest of film throttles back and forth between smaller uncertainties, such as…Hope: Sonia gave him appropriate prescription pain meds. Fear: Sonia gave him something terrible for the situation, like a hallucinogen. It’s a very small thing that doesn’t change much of the outcome of the scene: The Kincaid’s and Michael get away from the bad guys. But it does contribute to something that makes the scene more fun and engaging, and ultimately leaves us wanting to continue watching, just so we can find out what in the hell Sonia gave Michael as “pain medication.”
Script chosen: UNBREAKABLE
What’s happened up to this point?
First, this is a script years ahead of its time. To this point, most audiences haven’t seen a gritty take on the superhero genre built on the premise of these events taking place in the real world. Just prior to this, the closest films you’ve had included the BATMAN quadrilogy (ending with Schumacher’s campy and fun BATMAN AND ROBIN), SPAWN and BLADE, nothing close what this script tries to accomplish. That said, prior to this scene, David has accepted his calling to protect people, admitting to Elijah that he faked his injury in his youth and that he’s never been injured (the closest he got was almost drowning as a kid). Elijah tells him to go where there are people and to allow his instinct to guide him. From there, David brushes against a stranger and instantly knows the stranger was involved in a breaking and entering. He follows the stranger to a house and discovers the stranger has killed the father and tied up the two daughters.<div>
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – NIGHT
An exercise bike in the corner of the bedroom has been turned into a clothes hanger long ago. The t.v. across the bed has framed family photos displayed on top of it.
David’s shadow passes over them as he moves towards the open bathroom on the other side of the bedroom.
(Note: To this point, we know the stranger is somewhere in the house, but we don’t know where. Hope: that David will be able to save the other family members. Fear: that the stranger has/will kill the hostages, particularly the two girls David had just saved)
A woman is tied to the bathroom door handle. She sits on the tiled floor slumped against the door. Her eyes stare blankly at the ground. She has considerable bruises on her face and arms.
David stands before her.
(Note: David’s found the mother, but her staring blankly gives us pause. Hope: David’s not too late in saving her. Fear: The mother was killed.)
DAVID(soft)
Where is he?
The woman doesn’t answer, but a SOUND COMES FROM THE SCREEN DOOR nearby. The curtains draping the screen door move with the wind from outside.
(Note: She “doesn’t answer.” The script doesn’t explicitly tell us she’s dead, so there’s still hope. The sound calling to him gives us another uncertainty. Hope: David can stop the stranger. Fear: David won’t be able to save the mother. The inclusion of the mother introduces another component to keep track of. David may be indestructible (except his lungs are subject to the same weaknesses as we are), but the mother is not. Even if David can’t be hurt, can he prevent the bad guy from rendering further harm?)
David crosses the room and pushes aside the curtain. It leads to a small balcony. An empty lawn chair is the only thing on it.
David steps onto the balcony and looks down.
The rain still pours down unmercifully. It comes down on a black tarp that covers a pool in the backyard. David turns to go back inside.
A BLURR OF ORANGE ATTACKS HIM.
(Note: Two things are introduced. First, the balcony and the pool. It’s a subtle setup, and most may not consider the importance of the pool being there. For those that do, they understand and remember from previous conversations that David is afraid of water and that “water is [his] weakness.” The pool is something to avoid. As for the balcony, its a fall that may not hurt David, but, and here’s where the second point comes in, the blur of orange knocking him off the balcony would put a significant distance between David and the mother. Hope: David is able to fight off his attacker. Fear: David being taken by surprise means he will either A.) be separated from the hostages and compromised in his attempt to save their lives and B.) fall in the pool and be at risk of drowning.)
The collision is sudden and explosive. The huge man drives his shoulder into David’s chest and takes him off his feet. David’s body flips over the railing.
(Note: David falls. Hope: That he’ll recover quickly and save the hostages. Fear: He’ll either be knocked out or land in the pool.)
The dark green rain poncho flaps in the wind as he falls two stories directly towards the black tarp.
CUT TO:
EXT. POOL – NIGHT
David lands on his stomach with a TREMENDOUS SLAP onto the nylon black tarp.
(Note: The worst case scenario: David landed in the pool. Hope: that he’ll be able to get out of it. Fear: That David will drown.)
There’s a thin layer of rain water on the tarp’s surface. David is laying on his cheek. Half his face is covered in water.
Beat. David’s exposed eye looks around in a daze. The surface of the tarp gets pounded by the rain.
(Note: Night draws this out with David coming out of a haze. It’s more Suspense than Uncertainty, but it’s worth noting. The audience/reader is yelling, “Get out of there!”)
David uses his hands to push his body off the tarp. His hands sink into the water as his pressure pushes the tarp down.
THE FIRST SOUNDS OF NYLON SLIDING AGAINST CONCRETE START.
(Note: More tension and suspense. We’re not there yet to uncertainty, but there’s a clear ticking clock now and the time is almost up.)
David stops pushing. His vision catches the corner of the swimming pool as the tarp slides out from under the sand bags that hold it in place.
The tarp sags. David becomes utterly still. THE SOUND CONTINUES ANYWAY.
(Note: David can’t get out. If he tries crawling for it, he’ll get caught up in the tarp. If he stands still, he’ll get caught up in the tarp.)
One by one the tarp starts sliding out from under the sand bags all around the edge of the pool.
(Note: Sorry, it’s just worth pointing out that this is exactly how you take away someone’s seeming invincibility. David is completely powerless here, and we’re slowly making our way to the inevitable. The hope/fear mechanic established doesn’t change, but it’s heightened with every paragraph and description Night includes. We don’t know if/how David’s going to make it out of this, and there’re still the two daughters alone in a house with a man who’s killed their father and possibly their mother.)
And then without warning, the tarp caves in. It folds around David as he and the tarp get pulled UNDER THE COLD DARK WATER.
CUT TO:
EXT. UNDER WATER – NIGHT
David’s body is tangled in the pool cover. His legs and arms thrash against the constricting black tarp. He’s drowning.
(Note: “He’s drowning.” The worst case scenario has become reality. Hope: He can find a way to swim out of this. Fear: David drowns, unable to free himself from the tarp.)
GLIMPSES OF LIGHT FROM THE HOUSE PIERCE THE DARKNESS UNDER WATER. THE BLURRED IMAGE OF A DISTANT FIGURE HIGH ABOVE ON A BALCONY FLICKERS AND DISAPPEARS.
(Note: Good of Night to mention the stranger again, just in case we forgot what else is at stake. Where did the stranger go? Are the two daughters in the same room? What’s going on in the house? Hope: the daughters made it out okay, and the mother may survive. Fear: The stranger found the daughters untied, and punishes them for it.)
The last of the tarp slides out from under the sandbags that old it in place around the edge of the pool.
The rain keeps falling.
The tarp moves like it’s alive underwater. It shifts and wraps David tighter with every movement.
GLIMPSES OF LIGHT AGAIN. TWO SMALL FIGURES NOW STAND IN A BLURRED SILHOUETTE NEAR THE EDGE OF THE POOL. FLASHES OF SOMETHING SHINY THEY’RE HOLDING… A ROD OR POLE… IT’S SHAKY NEBULOUS IMAGE WAIVERS IN THE AIR ABOVE THE SURFACE.
(Note: While David is wrapped up like an anaconda’s prey, a chance at survival descends into the water. Hope: David can grab onto the pole in time. Fear: the daughters are out in the open. Will the stranger find them and kill them?)
David’s only free hand reaches for the light. It catches the silver pole.
The tangled mass of David and the tarp are pulled slowly towards the edge of the pool. David’s head and shoulders emerge from the darkness. He takes hold of the pool’s edge.
Huge desperate breaths as he pulls his body out from the water and the grasp of the tarp. He hauls himself onto the ground.
He sits hunched over in a dark mass, his head down under his hood. The rain poncho covering him like a blanket. Beat.
He rises to his feet. The water rushes off of him. His breathing is slowing, calming.
He stands in a silhouette from the light of the house. He turns and looks to the two small figures standing near the edge of the pool.
The children from the bathroom stand still in the rain. They’re holding an aluminum pole with a brush head for cleaning the pool. They stare up at the hooded figure.
No one says anything.
(Note: No uncertainty at the conclusion of this scene, but it’s a prolonged hero moment. Our hopes of David and the daughter’s surviving up to his point have been realized, and David escapes a close call with the help of the people he saved. “It takes a village” to stop criminals, not just one man or vigilante. And this was written well before films like the more recent Batman films.)
</div>
-
DEV ROSS – UNCERTAINTY
This opening scene from the film KPAX so moved me back from hope and fear so often that it immediately hooked me. I’ve learned how potent this power is!
KPAX
INT. GRAND CENTRAL STATION – NY – DAY
THIS OPENING SCENE SETS UP A BLACK HOMELESS VET, CRIPPLED, BEGGING FOR MONEY. THERE IS NO HOPE AS NO ONE PAYS HIM ANY ATTENTION. (Note scene is truncated by me as I could not cut and paste and there is too much to type.)
New immigrant families strand in ticket lines…
Witness to it all is a BLACK HOMELESS VET.
VET
Dollar fo’ a homeless vet. Help out a homeless vet.
To a student passing by.
VET
C’mon,. Lil man, I found the war with your daddy, Y’all ain’t paid me for this leg yet
A Swedish couple passes.
VET
You Swiss Miss….
An Asian family…
VET
Hey, Jackie Chan…
HOPE COMES IN —
A BEAM OF HAZY SUNLIGHT shines down through one of the high arched windows of the terminal building.
Onto a man. Or an apparition.
HOPE: The VET squints, closely as the FIGURE seems to emerge from the sunlight. The figure is PROT.
More action… then–
TWO YOUNG THUGS wrench a RUSSIAN WOMAN’s suitcase away. They knock her to the ground. She screams, they run off – shoving past PROT and into the crowd.
PROT watches for a moment, not wanting to register anger or caution. He turns to the woman.
More action… then–
FEAR: Woman is on the ground, dazed, sobbing. People step around her.
Prot approaches her. The vet keeping a watchful eye on him.
Prot stands over the woman. FEAR – as she looks up at him.
HOPE: He holds his hand out to her.
PROT
Let me help you.
FEAR: as two OFFICERS approach.
1ST OFFICER
Hold it right there!
VET
Oh, man, he ain’t done nothin’.
The officers still regard Prot with suspicion.
1ST OFFICER
Step away from her.
PROT
This woman is hurt HOPE THAT THEY WILL HELP!
2ND OFFICER
Ma’am, what happened?
The woman struggles with limited English – FEAR! Will they understand her???
WOMAN
Eh – take bag … eh – hit.
FEAR THE OFFICERS WILL ACCUSE PROT
2ND OFFICER
Who took your bag and hit you? This man?
The vet shakes his head at the cops.
VET
No,no, Couple a punks. They ran off. Y’ alwasy comin’ around too late – askin’ what? Where? How? This brother just tryin’ to help her. HOPE THAT THE COPS WILL LISTEN.
WOMAN
Yes – he – he – he.
The 1st officer speaks into his radio:
1ST OFFICER
Four-eight, this is Romano. Robbery and assault victim with facial wound at West Forty-Second entrance. (to Prot) Sir, I’d like you to just stand right there, answer a couple of questions for me. Standard procedure.
PROT is handcuffed by them. Prot gives them a curious smile. HOPE because Prot is docile and respectful, maybe the cops will let him go.
PROT
Of course.
1ST OFFICER
Are you travelling somewhere?
PROT
I’ve arrived. My travels are over for the time being.
1ST OFFICER
Where’s your luggage?
PROT
Luggage? FEAR now for his future. Will they think he’s crazy?
1ST OFFICER
Your bags?
PROT
I don’t require luggage.
The officer takes a good, hard look at Prot. FEAR. He’s sizing him up as a nut-job.
An ambulance pulls up with a whoop. M.T. starts tending to the woman.
1ST OFFICER
Do you have a ticket? (off Prot’s look) A train ticket. A ticket stub.
PROT
I didn’t arrive by train.
FEAR: What is going to happen to him?
1ST OFFICER
Then, what are you doing in the train station, sir?
PROT
It’s a likely place to begin.
The officers exchange looks. This is beginning to sound familiar. FEAR: What will they do with him?
VET
Name! Rank! Serial number! All you have to give ‘em, my man!
1ST OFFICER
Freddy, chill. HOPE: Maybe because they know Freddy they’ll be kind to
Prot. Would you please remove your sunglasses for me?
FEAR: Will Prot say something to make him sound like a crazy?
PROT
I’d rather not. Of course, they warned me about the photokinetic energy from start G-643, or as you would call it, the sun, but, I mean, wow! Your planet is really bright!
NO HOPE NOW – they know he’s a nutter.
A wry understanding moves across both officer’s faces.
1ST OFFICER
I see… (into his radio) West Forty-Two. We have an E.D.P.
2ND OFFICER
I’m going to ask you to come with us.
PROT
Certainly.
HOPE here. The Vet is a decent man and he feels an affinity to Prot.
As Prot is led away, the VET straps on his leg and gets himself up. For some strange reason he feels an affinity to Prot.
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PS81 – Dana’s Uncertainty
What I learned from this assignment:
I decided to stretch my wings a little and read a rom-com rather than a thriller. I decided on You’ve Got Mail and found the scene below, which uses uncertainty in every line. The HOPE/FEAR the characters reveal creates great conflict, especially because the audience of aware of their online romance.
SCREENPLAY: YOU’VE GOT MAIL
Kathleen and Joe have carried on an anonymous, online romance via email and have decided to finally meet, not realizing they have already met as competitors and despise one another.
INT. NUT SHOP OF BROADWAY – DAY
George, Kathleen, and Christina in the shop. Kathleen is buying more lollipops.
KATHLEEN – HOPE
We’re meeting in a public place.
CHRISTINA – FEAR
Well don’t go anywhere with him. Don’t even go out to the street with him afterwards. Get a dial cab to just sit there and wait for you.
GEORGE – FEAR
Did you tell Frank?
KATHLEEN – FEAR
There’s nothing to tell.
CHRISTINA – FEAR
But did you tell him?
KATHLEEN – FEAR
He’s away. At the 32nd anniversary of the Chicago Seven trial.
GEORGE – FEAR
And he’s gone to a place where there are no phones. Do you even know this guy’s name?
Kathleen shakes her head no.
CHRISTINA – FEAR
And you’re going to meet him in a bar?
KATHLEEN – HOPE
Not a bar. That place on 83rd with the cheesecake.
GEORGE
And he will wear a flower in his lapel, and you will be carrying a copy of Anna Karenina with a rose in it.
No answer.
CHRISTINA – FEAR
Oh God, no.
KATHLEEN – HOPE
Not Anna Karenina. Pride and Prejudice.
NOTE: Kathleen is HOPEFUL for her budding romance, but AFRAID to tell her current boyfriend about the possible new relationship, while her friends, Christina and George, are FEARFUL that the person she is meeting is serial killer. Every other line of dialogue is filled with HOPE/ FEAR uncertainties.
EXT. FOXBOOKS – NIGHT
As Joe and Kevin walk out of the store and start downtown.
KEVIN
I suppose she’s carrying a copy of a book with a flower in it.
FEAR – Joe doesn’t say anything.
KEVIN
Not really.
JOE – HOPE
Really.
KEVIN
Which Jane Austen is it?
JOE
Pride and Prejudice.
KEVIN – FEAR
She could be a real dog.
JOE
FEAR I know. Look, I’ll just stay ten minutes. I’ll say hello. Drink a cup of coffee and split. I’m outta here.
He looks at Kevin.
JOE (cont’d) – FEAR
Walk me there, okay?
EXT. 83RD STREET – NIGHT
As the two men walk toward Cafe Lalo, the European cafe on West 83rd Street.
JOE – FEAR
What if she has a really high, squeaky voice? I hate that. It reminds me of those mice in Cinderella.
KEVIN
What mice in Cinderella?
JOE – FEAR
Gus-gus and oh shit, I can’t remember the other one. Why am I compelled to meet her? I’m just ruining a good thing.
KEVIN – HOPE
You’re taking it to the next level. I always do that. I always take a relationship to the next level, and if it works okay I take it to the next level after that, until I can finally get to the level where it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
JOE – FEAR
I’m not going to stay long anyway. I already said that, didn’t I. Christ. I’m a total wreck.
As they reach:
NOTE: Unlike the previous scene, Joe is FEARFUL of what he’s doing while his friend, Kevin is HOPEFUL, encouraging Joe that he’s taking the relationship to the next level.
EXT. CAFE LALO – CONTINUOUS
Joe stops and looks at Kevin.
JOE – HOPE
Kevin, this woman is the most adorable creature I have ever come in contact with. If she turns out to be even as good-looking as a mailbox, I will be crazy not to turn my life upside down and marry her.
KEVIN – FEAR
She could be a real dog.
JOE (a total panic) FEAR
You go look.
KEVIN
Me?
JOE – FEAR
Just go to the window and check her out.
KEVIN
You’re pathetic.
Kevin goes to the window and looks inside.
EXT. CAFE LALO – NIGHT
Joe and Kevin in front.
Kevin looks in the window.
JOE – HOPE
See her?
KEVIN – HOPE
There’s a beautiful, whoa, a very beautiful girl.
JOE – HOPE
Yes.
KEVIN
But no book. Let me see, let me see… Wait a minute. There’s a book with a flower, so it must be her.
JOE – HOPE
What does he look like?
KEVIN
There’s a waiter blocking, I can’t see her face. He’s serving her a cup of tea and she’s putting in three spoonfuls of sugar —
JOE
Well, why shouldn’t she?
KEVIN
No reason. Unless she has hypoglycemia. Oh, he’s moving.
JOE – HOPE
Can you see her?
KEVIN
Yes.
JOE – HOPE
And? —
KEVIN (clearly frustrated) FEAR
She’s very pretty.
JOE – HOPE
She is. I knew she would be. She had to be.
KEVIN – FEAR
She looks… I would say she has a little of the coloring of that Kathleen Kelly person.
JOE
Kathleen Kelly of the bookstore.
KEVIN – FEAR
Why not? You said you thought she was attractive.
JOE
So what? Who cares about Kathleen Kelly?
KEVIN – FEAR
Well, if you don’t like Kathleen Kelly, I can tell you right now you ain’t gonna like this girl.
JOE
Why not?
KEVIN – FEAR
Because it is Kathleen Kelly.
Joe elbows Kevin aside and looks.
JOE – FEAR
Oh, God.
A long beat.
KEVIN – HOPE
What are you going to do?
JOE – FEAR
Nothing.
KEVIN – HOPE
You’re going to let her just wait there?
JOE – FEAR
Yes. Yes I am. That’s exactly what I’m going to do. Why not?
KEVIN – HOPE
But she wrote the letters.
JOE – FEAR Good night, Kevin. I’ll see you tomorrow.
FEAR – He walks away, leaving Kevin.
Kevin stares after him. Then he walks away in the other direction.
NOTE: Joe is both HOPEFUL and FEARFUL for this relationship, the dialogue jumping back and forth. He’s HOPEFUL that the woman he’s meeting won’t be pretty but so FEARFUL that he asks Kevin to check for him. When Kevin tells Joe she’s pretty, Joe’s ecstatic – until Kevin tells him it’s Kathleen Kelly. All HOPE is gone, and Joe walks away too AFRAID to even reveal himself.
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Antonio Flores’ uncertainty scene
What I learned from this assignment
Ups and downs make a roller-coaster!
MOVIE: Taken
=============
NOTE: This goes from page 48 to 51 of the script. Retired CIA agent Bryan Mills’ daughter is kidnapped in Paris by a women-trafficking ring. His former associates say that he may have a window of 96 hours before his daughter cannot be traced. Bryan flies to Paris, examines the room where the kidnapping took place and recovers his daughter’s smashed cellphone.
=============
[HOPE]
Bryan removes the chip from the back of the smashed phone, examines it.
CLOSE UP
The chip being inserted into a machine.
PULL BACK TO
INT. ELECTRONICS SHOP – DAY
Bryan is looking at the screen of the machine. He sees: pictures of Amanda and Kim camping and mugging in the LA airport, on the plane, in the Paris Airport.
Each picture is of one or the other. Except the last one, where they are both mugging for the camera on the taxi line.
Bryan starts to manipulate the framing of the picture until he catches a glimpse of a reflection in a security mirror of the person taking the picture.
Bryan keeps manipulating the frame, discovering more and more of the reflection, until a face appears, fuzzy, out of focus.
[HOPE]
Bryan keeps pushing buttons, until the entire reflection of the person taking the picture comes clear: Peter.
CLOSE ON
Peter, leafing through a magazine. A voice announces.
VOICE
Flight seven twenty arriving from Barcelona.
PULL BACK TO
INT. PARIS AIRPORT – DAY
Peter stands by the magazine kiosk, just outside customs. He looks over to a big BLACK GUY standing near the Customs exit.
The Black Guy nods to a cute blond girl in her late teens exiting from customs with a backpack and a Swiss flag on it, heading for the exit.
[FEAR: THIS IS HOW BRYAN’S DAUGHTER GOT TARGETED]
EXT. TAXI STAND – PARIS AIRPORT – DAY
The blond girl is waiting on the taxi line when…
PETER
Hi. I’m Peter.
GIRL
Ingrid.
PETER
On holidays?
GIRL
Yes.
PETER
Me too.
A cab pulls up.
PETER
The cabs here are so damn expensive. Want to share?
GIRL
Sure.
Peter holds the door of a taxi open for the girl, smiling, flirting. The girl is about to get in, when…
[HOPE: NOT ONLY THE GIRL IS SAFE, BUT BRYAN GOT THE MAN WHO CAN LEAD HIM TO HIS DAUGHTER]
BRYAN
Excuse me.
Bryan hustles Peter past the astonished girl, pushes him into the cab, follows, slamming the door behind him.
INT. TAXI – DAY
PETER
(struggling)
Hey! What are you. .?
[HOPE]
Bryan buries a sharp knuckle into his ribs, knocking the breath out of Peter, doubling him over. Bryan lifts his head.
BRYAN
The two girls from yesterday.
PETER
I don’t…
DRIVER
What are you doing?
BRYAN
Drive.
[HOPE]
Peter tries to escape. Bryan drives his knuckle into Peter’s ribs again. The Taxi Driver flees the cab.
BRYAN
The next rib I drive into your lungs.
[FEAR]
The Driver runs out of the car.
BRYAN (CONT’D)
The two girls. Where are they?
[FEAR]
Suddenly, the door behind Bryan is yanked open and two large black hands drag him out by his legs.
EXT. TAXI STAND – PARIS AIRPORT – DAY
Bryan hits the pavement hard. Before he can get up, the big Black Guy pounds on him. Smashing him over and over.
Passengers run, screaming.
[HOPE]
The Guy grabs Bryan, yanks him up like a sack of potatoes. Except this sack of potatoes is a lethal weapon. Before the guy knows what has happened, Bryan has grabbed his wrists, ripped them down, bashed his forehead into the Guy’s nose, double punched him in his exposed throat.
The Guy falls, face gushing blood, hands grasping his throat, unable to breathe.
[FEAR]
Bryan turns back to the cab, only to find the other passenger door open and Peter gone. Bryan sees Peter running up the road, holding his damaged ribs.
VOICE
Arretez! Arretez!
[FEAR]
Bryan turns to see three police Officers running towards him, with the taxi driver trailing them.
[HOPE]
Bryan leaps into the taxi, jams it into gear, rips a u-turn and rockets off after Peter.
EXT. ROADWAY – DAY
Peter runs, desperate to escape, his ribs on fire with every breath. He looks over his shoulder, sees the taxi gaining on him. He cuts off onto a one-way ramp with traffic streaming down towards Bryan.
[FEAR: BRYAN IS GOING TO LOSE PETER]
INT. TAXI – DAY
Through the windshield, Bryan sees Peter running up a ramp that has nothing but cars coming at him.
[HOPE]
Unable to negotiate the narrow ramp packed with oncoming traffic, Bryan leaps out of the cab, blocking the road, snarling traffic to a stand still.
[FEAR]
EXT. ROADWAY – DAY
Bryan takes off at a dead run up the ramp, running against the traffic, zig zagging through the cacophony of blaring horns and irate drivers.
[HOPE]
ANGLE ON
Peter. At the very top of the overpass. His breath coming in jagged bursts, the pain in his side increasing with each step.
[HOPE]
He looks back, sees Bryan gaining on him. Almost on him. He is running out of room, out of breath. He looks down to a roadway below, where the traffic is very sparse. He looks back at Bryan, closing fast. Looks down at the roadway. Makes a choice.
[FEAR]
Jumps.
[FEAR]
Lands.
[FEAR]
Bryan reaches the top of the overpass, looks down. Peter looks up at him, victorious, safe.
[FEAR: NOW, BRYAN ’S ONLY LEAD IS DEAD]
And then gets SLAMMED by a truck that comes out of nowhere at forty miles an hour.
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This reply was modified 3 years ago by Antonio Flores.
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This reply was modified 3 years ago by Antonio Flores.
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This reply was modified 3 years ago by
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Day 5 Writing with Boldness – Anita Gomez – Uncertainty Scene
What I learned in this assignment: Good exercise. Taking the time to analyze just how the tension builds like a see-saw between fear and hope, has given me some really good insights on how to better build tension in my own stories!
THE BODYGUARD
Frank, a no-nonsense former Secret Service Agent, has been hired by pop star Rachel as her personal bodyguard after a series of threats and stalking instances have been made against her (by Portman). Frank’s over protectiveness and Rachel’s stubbornness have led to her insistence she attend The Grammy Awards – her big night. Her name, as a winner, is about to be called while Frank and her other security guy, Tony, are doing everything they can to protect her in impossible circumstances.
BACKSTAGE
(FEAR) Frank draws his gun. He glances quickly to Tony, but Tony’s already on his way, trotting round the labyrinth behind the set.
Frank automatically raises his sleeve to call to Tony, then realizes his communications are useless. He tries to see where Portman has disappeared to, but he daren’t lose sight of Rachel.
ONSTAGE – WINSTON (with envelope)
WINSTON
And the winner is… Rachel Marron for Queen Of The Night.
FLASH CUT TO:
FRANK’S FACE
grim. He looks past the curtain to Rachel.
FRANK’S POV – AUDITORIUM
Deafening applause in the main auditorium. A stunned Rachel stands. Devaney and Spector kiss her. People nearby reach out to touch her. Rachel walks along her row. The orchestra plays “I Have Nothing.”
INT. BACKSTAGE – OPPOSITE WINGS – NIGHT
A mass of drapes and flats. Behind them, the cameraman is fixing something to the side of his camera. His back is to us. Tony comes up briskly behind him, unable to see his face.
TONY
Hey! You! What the fuck you think you’re doin’ back here…
(FEAR) With amazing speed, the cameraman – Portman – wheels around, simultaneously jabbing two outstretched fingers from his free hand straight into Tony’s eyes. Tony cries out, his hands flying to his face. Portman’s hand moves swiftly again, jabbing to a nerve behind Tony’s ear, Tony drops like a sack. Glancing rapidly around, Portman sees all other eyes on the auditorium. He pulls the curtain around Tony’s body – obscuring it. He then removes his own “SECURITY” ID and fixes a laminated “PRESS” ID to his lapel.
INT. BACKSTAGE – STAGE RIGHT WINGS – NIGHT
(HOPE) Frank gestures animatedly to the head of security and several guards. The music and the applause drown out his words and we do not hear them. The guards rush off backstage and into the auditorium.
INT. MAIN AUDITORIUM – NIGHT
Rachel walks along her row. Hands reach out to her. Some people stand in their seats around her. A cranemounted TV camera swoops down between Frank and his view of Rachel, obscuring her for a brief instant.
CLOSE ON FRANK’S FACE
(FEAR) Desperately scanning, seeking. Suddenly his face freezes.
FRANK’S POV
As Rachel reaches the center aisle and starts to walk toward the steps, there in the far aisle, his face almost hidden, is Portman — the camera, hand-held on his shoulder, moving level with Rachel, 20 feet behind her. Frank raises his gun.
AISLE
Rachel walks down the aisle toward the side steps. Tears in her eyes. Thunderous applause. Security guards in the side aisles look around in all directions. They can’t see anything.
FRANK’S POV
TIGHT ON Portman, now almost completely obscured behind the members of the audience, as more and more of them stand to applaud Rachel.
PORTMAN’S POV
ALONG THE SIDE OF THE CAMERA. Rachel keeps appearing and disappearing behind the heads of the audience.
FRANK IN THE WINGS
(HOPE) Desperate to get a clear shot at Portman but unable to fire without hitting a bystander.
FROM STAGE RIGHT WINGS – FRANK’S POV OF RACHEL
As she approaches the podium, steadily, controlling herself as she mounts the steps. The outline of her body becomes difficult to see against the glare of the footlights and the lights at the side of the auditorium.
FRANK’S FACE
His eyes squint against the dazzle.
ON STAGE – PODIUM
Rachel approaches Winston. The applause and music is deafening.
FRANK’S FACE
(FEAR) He can’t see Portman past the glare. He can’t fire into the audience. He knows Rachel is now at her most vulnerable. There is only one thing he can do to protect his charge.
BACKSTAGE WINGS
(HOPE) Frank runs on stage at terrific speed and leaps through the air at Rachel, twisting his body as he does.
ON STAGE – PODIUM
Rachel turns her head, sees Frank leaping at her and gasps out with a mixture of fury and terror.
RACHEL
No!
CLOSE ON PORTMAN
(FEAR) The silenced PISTOL taped to the side of the camera FIRES. ONCE. TWICE.
ON STAGE
Frank and Rachel tumble over on the floor. The podium topples. There are screams from the audience.
AUDITORIUM
Pandemonium breaks out. Men run on stage from all directions. Guns are drawn. Everyone is shouting. TV cameras whip-pan in all directions, security men shout into walkie-talkies.
QUICK CUT TO:
INT. <st1:place w:st=”on”>MOBILE</st1:place> TV CONTROL VAN – NIGHT
Chaos on all screens.
TV DIRECTOR
What the fuck?
OTHER VOICE (O.S.)
Go to commercial…
INT. MAIN AUDITORIUM – NIGHT
CLOSE ON PORTMAN
Totally calm and, as he gambled, invisible in the commotion. Camera still on his shoulder, he slowly backs away from the scene. Ushers and uniformed security men rush past him towards the stage. People leap from their seats. A woman screams piercingly behind him. Portman doesn’t blink.
INT. STAGE – NIGHT
(HOPE) Dozens more helpers pour onto the stage around Frank and Rachel. Rachel starts to rise on all fours and sees, as hands reach out to help her, the blood on Frank’s shirt. He has taken the hits for her. But he’s still on the job, gaze alert. Without taking his eyes from the auditorium, his left arm stretches out, with some pain, to push Rachel back down. The right arm, gun in hand, sweeps the auditorium. Where is Portman? Frank can’t see past the mob.
(FEAR) Ushers fall on Frank in a heap, trying to disarm him. Security men try to pull them off. Rachel shouts, trying to make herself heard above the noise.
RACHEL
He’s my bodyguard. Get off him! He’s O.K…
FRANK’S POV – SERIES OF SHOTS
A SERIES of SWIFT LOW ANGLE SHOTS through legs and faces. One brief glimpse that could be Portman. A cameraman turns. It’s not. Frank is desperate, pushing away a helping arm. The chaos mounts. SIRENS WAIL outside.
INT. MAIN AUDITORIUM – NIGHT
CLOSE ON PORTMAN
He turns away from the stage as four cops pound past him. He walks away. Suddenly, for one brief second, his face loses its composure as he looks to the side door.
PORTMAN’S POV
Hysterical audience members jostle for the exit, screaming and shouting. It’s like a football scrum. Cops and security men pushing and pulling. His escape route is blocked.
CLOSE ON FRANK’S FACE – HIS EYES
Briefly glimpsed through blurred, frenzied, f.g. Still seeking his target, biting his lip in pain.
PORTMAN
Cool again, he turns back to the stage, seeking an alternative escape route, camera still providing cover.
INT. ON STAGE – WINGS – NIGHT
(HOPE) A lumbering figure, blood streaming from one eye, his .38 drawn and outstretched. It’s Tony staggering to the edge of the stage, straight towards his attacker.
TONY
(bellowing)
Frank! Frank! Over here!
ON STAGE
Frank and Rachel’s heads swivel in unison at the sound, looking towards the far aisle.
PORTMAN
(FEAR) Against the side wall at the front, Portman’s eyes desperately scan for the source of the voice. He sees Tony, his pistol takes aim.
FRANK’S POV
For a split second, two running figures f.g. pass and cross leaving a momentary clear line to Portman.
ON STAGE
(HOPE) Frank FIRES. ONCE. TWICE.
PORTMAN
Frank’s bullets hit home. The first slams Portman in the chest, knocking him against the wall. The second hits the CAMERA on his shoulder, EXPLODING it around his face.
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