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Day 5 Assignments
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5 Replies
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What we learned doing this assignment was coming up with layers wasn’t as difficult as we thought but revealing them in an interesting way without characters just telling each other through dialogue is the challenge. We still have some work to do there. Also, even though some reveals aren’t huge things, we felt maybe we had too many and aren’t leaving enough open loops.
Teaser
Essence: (Liz Opening) – Liz’s VO while she’s having sex with someone in the swinger club with the door open while a bunch of people including her husband watch. We get her POV and expertise about the lifestyle.
(L TP 1): When a woman shows up in their doorway on her phone, Liz yells “no phones” and slams the door on her ending her and Eric’s night early (Eric never saw who the woman was).
Surface cover up 1: Liz slams the door on a watcher at the club because she was on her cell phone which is a violation of the rules.
Surface cover up 2: Liz seems experienced and unashamed about her lifestyle
Act 1
Essence: On the way out of the club walking toward the parking lot, Eric and Liz argue about her ruining the night (again) because she always has to be the swinger police. Then, Eric finds out who was at their door and he panics.
(Eric Opening) – he’s upset at Liz because once again she ruined his one night a week of fun (cause he’s miserable at his job and is always just working for the weekend).
Liz defends herself as we see that she’s a stickler for the swinger code/rules and knows her shit.
Turning Point: Eric finds out it was “Michelle” standing at their door.
Disruption in Reality / Reveal 1: In the parking lot, Liz tells Eric “don’t look now but to your right, look who it is. She was the one standing in our doorway and why I slammed the door” Of course, Eric does look now and sees it’s Michelle on her cell phone. He panics. “And she’s on her cell phone, who is she telling already?” Liz wants to confront, Eric tells her to get in the car and he peels away.
Deeper Layer 1: Michelle is the last person Eric wanted to know their secret.
Disruption in Reality 2: Michelle now knows their secret
Surface cover up 3: Who exactly is Michelle?
Act 2
Essence: Liz and Eric are in their normal world, a birthday party for her dad where we see how problematic the exposure of their lifestyle can be for them. Michelle is also at the party as she is considered family too.
Disruption in Reality 3: Michelle is at Liz’s dad’s birthday party
Deeper Layer 2 / Reveal 2: Despite Liz’s attitude toward being a swinger, Michelle is the first to know about Eric and Liz’s secret in 15 years of being in the lifestyle and Liz keeps it secret because of Eric.
Deeper Layer 3 / Reveal 3: Michelle is Liz’s best friend from childhood who is considered family and a complete blabber mouth/gossiper.
Surface cover up 4: Why is Liz’s mom so shitty to Liz and her dad at the party?
(E TP 1): Eric tells Liz and Michelle this needs to be squashed now so they aren’t exposed further.
(Michelle Opening): She promises Eric and Liz that their secret is safe with her. Then when Liz’s sister Teresa catches them all in the bathroom, Michelle tells her “don’t worry, we aren’t having a threesome or anything”
Then, Liz heads to work at her hair salon….
Surface cover up 5: Michelle is Liz’s childhood best friend
Disruption in Reality 5: Michelle is at the hair salon when Liz shows up for work
Deeper Layer / Reveal 5: Michelle is also co-owner of the hair salon with Liz
Surface cover up 6: Michelle tells Liz and Eric she was at the club to try and spice up her marriage.
(M TP 1): Michelle tells Liz that she is considering swinging to save her marriage.
(M Dilemma): If she doesn’t pursue swinging, her marriage will probably fail. If she does start swinging just to appease her husband, her marriage will probably fail.
Liz tells her that’s a recipe for disaster because that’s not going to fix a marriage already on the rocks.
(M Midpoint): She convinces Liz to help her and her husband have their first swinger experience by telling her that she’s going to do this without or without her.
(L Dilemma): Liz can decide not to help Michelle and watch her friend fail miserably or at least try and help her navigate a world that she’s an expert in even though she knows she’ll still probably fail miserably.
Turning Point/Midpoint: Liz decides to help Michelle with her first swinger experience.
Act 3
Essence: Liz comes up with a plan to help Michelle without Eric knowing.
(L Midpoint): Liz devises a plan to take Michelle and her husband to a house party so they can have their first swinger experience.
Turning Point: She convinces Eric that she should go to this house party without him so she can have a naughty experience and send him the video of it. He agrees.
Surface cover up 7: Liz suggests to Eric that she should attend a house party by herself so she can send him a naughty video of her in action. She tells him a mutual friend in the lifestyle is picking her up so she’ll be safe. He agrees.
Disruption in Reality 7: It’s actually Michelle and her husband who pick her up.
Deeper Layer / Reveal 7: Liz is going to help Michelle with her first swinger experience behind Eric’s back.
Surface cover up 8: Liz tells Michelle Eric is fine with her plan
Act 4
Essence: Liz’s plan fails, and Eric finds out, but Liz feels that she’s found her purpose.
(M TP 2): Michelle bails on her first swinger experience.
(M Major Conflict): Michelle leaves the house party but her husband stays.
Disruption in Reality 6: Michelle comes clean to Liz that she wasn’t doing this to spice up her marriage but to save it.
Deeper Layer / Reveal 6: Michelle’s husband gave her an ultimatum that they try swinging or their marriage is over.
(L TP 2): Liz has to call Eric for help and he finds out about her secret plan.
Disruption in Reality / Reveal 8: When Liz has to call Eric for help after rushing Michelle out of the house party, she realizes that she didn’t get Eric his video as promised. She has to go back in and tells Michelle what’s going on.
Deeper Layer 8: Liz lied to Michelle about Eric being Ok with their plan
(E Midpoint): Eric has to bail Liz out and is pissed that she helped Michelle behind his back.
(E Major Conflict): Eric wants Liz to forget about helping people, but this is something she needs to do.
Liz and Eric have a heart-to-heart where she explains to him her ambition and how she doesn’t want to live with regrets or resent him. He understands but tries to get her to see that neither one of them may be prepared for how more potential exposure will negatively impact their lives.
Surface cover up 9 : Liz is motivated to help Michelle because she’s her friend in need
Disruption in Reality 9: Eric confronts her about helping Michelle
Deeper Layer / Reveal 9: Liz tells him she needs to help because she was never able to help her dad and she can’t live with regret and resentment like he has.
(L Major Conflict): Liz feels alive for the first time with this secret off her chest and able to help others, but the more she pushes, the potential exposure can negatively affect her husband and daughter plus she would have to deal with being judged and shamed by family and society. If she doesn’t pursue this, though, she will be full of regret and resentment.
(E Dilemma): If Liz continues to help people, they risk being further exposed and it may negatively impact his marriage (and life), but if he gets his wish and she shuts it down, she may resent him and that could also negatively affect his marriage (and life).
(E TP 2): Eric agrees to let Liz continue helping people from the hair salon if she keeps it on the down low.
(M Ending): Michelle buys her husband’s explanation that he didn’t know where she went and thought she was coming back, then he made her feel guilty for leaving without him.
(L Ending): Liz gives a random woman advice at her hair salon and a sexpert is born!
(E Ending): Eric has to trust Liz while getting used to being comfortable with the uncomfortable (and the unknown).
Lock In/Turning Point: In helping Michelle, Liz feels like she’s finally living her truth and purpose so she is now going to help others with sex and relationship advice using her hair salon as a front.
Act 5/Tag
Essence: After hours at her hair salon, Liz helps her dad style his wig for a night out.
Turning Point: Liz’s dad is secretly trans.
Disruption in Reality 4: Liz’s dad visits her salon to get his wig styled
Deeper Layer / Reveal 4: Liz’s dad is a closeted trans and Liz is the only one who knows and tries to help him. Her mom resents both of them.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Dave Arena.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by
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Megan’s Layers and Reveals
What I learned doing this assignment is…my brain hurts.
But seriously, it’s actually really difficult to come up with layers. I feel like with all the planning we’ve already done that I’m struggling to generate new ideas. I’m sure there’s more I could come up with, but for some reason, I’m just hitting a wall right now. First time for everything, I guess. I think I just need to move on for now.
Here’s at least some of the layers and reveals that I’ve already planned:
Pilot Layers/Reveals:
Surface: Lexie gets emails from her future self. At first, she thinks it’s a prank. (Sister? Betsy? Bully?)
Layer Beneath: Eventually Lexie believes the email is real, but Lexie thinks that Alexis is a successful salesperson in a department store.
How Revealed: Alexis knows that Lexie tampered with Lily’s college application.
How Revealed: Alexis describes her job as excelling in the art of persuasion.
Layer Beneath: Secret identity: We find out Alexis is actually an undercover agent. Lexie still doesn’t know.
How Revealed: At the end of the pilot, Alexis finishes interrogating someone and then shoots him.
Series Layers/Reveals:
Alexis asks Lexie to help her uncover information in the past about a crime syndicate.
Lexie finds out the crime syndicate is run by her boyfriend’s father.
Lexie finds out her boyfriend becomes the head of the crime syndicate in Alexis’s timeline.
Lexie finds out that her boyfriend is shot in the future.
The crime syndicate turns out to be the good guys, trying to stop The Six from coming to power in the US government.
Lexie finds out that her boyfriend was shot by Alexis in the future.
Lexie shoots Alexis in the future to prevent her boyfriend’s death.
Character Layers/Reveals:
Alexis seems like a well-adjusted, successful professional.
She is actually a cold, hardened undercover agent, who became that way because of her best friend’s betrayal.
Lexie has two best friends that this could apply to: Betsy or Cerise.
Cerise stole Alexis’s fiancé the night before their wedding.
Brett, who seems to be Alexis’s romantic pursuer, turns out to be Alexis’s betrayer.
He is working for the crime syndicate; spies on her and eventually kidnaps Alexis
Sterling, Alexis’s work competition, ends up saving Alexis and becoming her partner.
Sterling, who is also spying on Alexis, finds out about Brett’s surveillance; rescues Alexis
Sterling, who competes with everyone, is actually competing against her wildly successful older brothers for her father’s approval.
Sterling betrays Lexie, steals the time machine, and goes back in time to try to win her father’s approval before his death.
PILOT OUTLINE
TEASER:
Essence: Lexie getting dressed for the first day of school. It’s Lexie’s first day of high school. She is eager and optimistic. Seems confident. Checking her outfit and appearance in the mirror. Possibly recording herself on her first day of high school? Alexis, however, is the VO we hear, reflecting on the importance of trust.
Turning Point: Lexie walks outside to meet her childhood best friend Betsy, who makes a tactless comment about the outfit Lexie spent so much time analyzing. Reveal: Lexie’s confidence deflates like a popped balloon.
ACT 1:
Essence: Lexie feels terrified at high school and shut out at home. Bus driver gets her name wrong. Cafeteria is noisy, crowded, nowhere to sit. Cafeteria lady gives her green beans after she says she doesn’t want them. Possibly a bully at school pulls a prank on her? Back at home, older sister and younger brother are happy and successful and have the full attention of mom and dad. Lexie is portrayed as solid and reliable.
Turning Point: Reveal: We see Lexie has been contemplating running away from home.
ACT 2:
Essence: Lexie’s English teacher gives the class an assignment: to write an email to their future selves.
Turning Point: After a particularly tense family dinner, Lexie not only writes the email but clicks send. In the morning, she finds she has received a response.
ACT 3:
Essence: Lexie probes to figure out if the email is real. Alexis’s email presents her as happy and successful. Reveal: Alexis is a success at work but she doesn’t enjoy it: constant stress, pressure from her boss, competition from Sterling, innuendos from Brett. Alexis’s home life is empty and lonely. So empty she nearly commits suicide.
Turning Point: Alexis receives a birth announcement from her sister. Recognizes her emptiness again and decides to try to change her present by fixing her past.
She decides to continue emailing Lexie, ostensibly to help Lexie improve her life, but actually to better her present by fixing her past.
ACT 4:
Essence: Alexis shocks Lexie with the things she knows about her. Lexie isn’t sure whether or not she can trust Alexis. It might be another, more elaborate prank. Lexie feels overlooked again by her mother, who doesn’t have time to teach her how to drive because she’s too busy helping her older sister with college applications.
Turning Point: In a fit of jealousy, Lexie messes with Lily’s college application essay. She experiences instant regret. Reveal: Alexis knows about it, moments after it happens. Lexie finally believes Alexis is her future self. Alexis gives Lexie her first piece of advice: Stop caring what other people think.
ACT 5:
Essence: Lexie goes through a school day with this advice: corrects the bus driver who gets her name wrong, speaks up to the cafeteria worker who tries to give her green beans, speaks up when Betsy gets too tactless.
Lock In: For the first time this school year, Lexie actually enjoys school and it’s all thanks to Alexis. Return to Alexis’s VO about the value and importance of trust. Lexie is starting to trust Alexis, but the final scene reveals what Alexis really is: an undercover agent. Reveal: After convincing Lexie she’s trustworthy, she goes out and completes a mission where she lies and kills someone.
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Suzanne’s Layers and Reveals
What I learned during this lesson is … my story keeps changing. Which, since it KEEPS happening shouldn’t continue to be what I Iearn. But HOW it changes, seems to be a constantly new lesson.
NOTHING STAYS BURIED
Teaser:
Surface — rebels destroying the French Quarter
Reveal– masked people restoring the French Quarter
Reveal–Tilda, the leader, her “tiny rebellions”
Act I
Surface — working day
R: Big design job to complete for big money
R: she is part of the big money
R: at NOLA party, preparations with Grandmere and cousins
R: the party is a centuries-old family tradition
TP: Actually, it’s a power ritual involving ancient mysticism
Act II
S: democratic gathering of all the family members
R: the family is split over the predictions of the Looking Glass
TP: Grandmere shoots the leader of the dissenters and requires loyalty pledges from the rest
Act III
S: Tilda sneaks away from party and escapes into Mardi Gras crowd
R: She hides with an 18th c dressed guy, they run down an alley
R: Realizes they are IN the 18th c.
S: She goes to her same house for the same gathering
TP: It’s men only around the Looking Glass, learning their reign ends with Tilda’s generation unless the family ends “them” first
S: As she flees, she’s called a quadroon
Act IV
S: present day, ditched by guy (who is black actor beneath his 18th c costume & mask)
R: She goes back to Looking Glass, avoiding fam
Lock in
R: Looking Glass speaks: Free me
TP: she has a vision of New Orleans, the catastrophic consequences, if she doesn’t
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Tom’s Layers and Reveals
If nothing else, I feel like I have a better understanding of how I want to structure my teaser. I was worried that my concept might be seen as cliche, but now I feel like I have really unique way to introduce the group and create a captivating opening. I came up with a couple more beats, further fleshing out the more vague concepts. I think one of the best things I can do at this stage is to go back to my example show and see how these concepts were incorporated in that pilot.
OUTLINE
TEASER
Essence: We weave through the crowd on both sides of the protest as the tension rises.
Florida Man Surface Layer: We see him searching through the crowd for something specific, he weaves through the crowd seeming unaffected by growing tensions and sings of impending violence
Brenda Surface Layer: Brenda is seen at a the protest with a megaphone, preaching about an ultra far-right way of living
Poe Surface Layer: As Florida Man passes by a group of people he hears Poe talking about how no one is to provoke violence, but if violence is brought to them they will respond
Angela Surface Layer: Angela is one of the very vocal protesters in the crowd holding a sing and screaming out against existential threats to the planet
Jenny Surface Layer: As Florida Man is crossing the street with waves of people, Jenny is stuck in her car trying to pass through. She gets out and yells out Florida Man as he passes by.
Stu Surface Layer: Stu is at the protest arguing about border reform and finishing the wall with another guy
F.M. Surface Layer: F.M. at the protest is white cis male and Texan who is struggling to take a side
Dani Surface Layer: Dani is trying to stop two people from fighting at the protest
Peter Cetera Surface Layer: At the protest Peter Cetera is protesting for social equality, especially for the LGBTQ population
Turning Point: The police begin to move in, gunfire erupts, chaos ensues.
ACT 1
Essence: 3 weeks earlier: At home we see Florida Man’s life, he’s an organized disaster, who’s life is revolving around solving conspiracy mysteries big and small.
Florida Man Opening: Florida Man is an incredibly intelligent and seemingly misguided individual who struggles to keep a handle on reality. He is entirely alone in the world he investigates searching for a deeper meaning behind the veil of conspiracy. By society’s standards, he’s a train wreck.
Florida Man Deeper Layer: We see him at home receiving a message regarding a false flag operation that is going to take place at a political protest
Turning Point: Florida Man receives a mysterious email alluding to an upcoming protest that is actually a false flag event.
ACT 2
Essence: Florida Man is in court defending himself for what feels like a senseless crime to everyone except him.
Florida Man Reveal: Florida Man has been arrested for an act where he was trying to expose a conspiracy and we learn that he has a history of unstable behavior all revolving around his conspiracies.
Elliot and Twyla Opening: Elliot and Twyla are inspecting the church basement and talking about the experiment. They are both students competing for a permanent staff position.
Elliot and Twyla TP 1: As Elliot and Twyla are talking about whether or not to use name tags, the Janitor appears and they both stop talking immediately. They both seem nervous around him. He grabs a broom and begins sweeping.
Janitor Surface Layer: We see the janitor sweeping the floor, but the mood of Elliot and Twyla changes dramatically when he appears
Florida Man TP 1: The judge gives Florida Man an ultimatum, community service and group support or jail time, he accepts the prior reluctantly.
Judge Surface Layer: Judge makes a comment during trial he represents the greatest problem with society: people thinking they can make a difference—this might as well be a trial for the whole of mankind
Turning Point: The judge tells him that the only way he isn’t going to jail is if he does community service and joins a support group that actually does good for the community.
ACT 3
Essence: Florida Man meets Elliot, Twyla and the rest of the support group that will keep him out of jail.
Group Surface Layer: The group has no connection to one another
Elliot and Twyla Midpoint: As the group arrives, Elliot establishes himself as the likable facilitator who likes to wing it, and Twyla is the “by the book” sidekick. Twyla begins to realize what she’s in for.
Florida Man Midpoint: Meeting the group, Florida Man is forced to interact with eight participants that he doesn’t know or trust, causing him to retreat.
Elliot and Twyla TP 2: Twyla and Elliot demonstrate that they can work together and get everyone to begin talking about the losses they experienced from the pandemic—everyone except for Florida Man.
Brenda Deeper Layer: Brenda reveals that she lost her father during the pandemic and is now trying to fill his shoes by taking over his “organization”
Poe Deeper Layer: As Poe is explaining what he lost during the pandemic he lost is faith in God, and will no longer be preaching
Angela Deeper Layer: Angela indicates that she lost any sense of hope in humanity during the pandemic
Jenny Deeper Layer: While discussing what was lost in the pandemic, Jenny indicates that she lost her job
Stu Deeper Layer: Lost his wife during the pandemic, but blames it on illegal aliens coming into the country
F.M. Deeper Layer: His family lost their farm during the pandemic and now he has set out on a new course to become a rapper
Peter Cetera Deeper Layer: Lost his grandmother due to complications with virus and is now seeking to follow his dreams of being a musician despite the shadow his name has cast on him
Turning Point/Midpoint: He finds that each person has experienced loss during the pandemic that won’t allow them to return to the world they knew.
ACT 4
Essence: Florida Man is reluctant to open up about his life as he is accustom to being on his own and blending in.
Florida Man TP 2: The group begins to share what they’ve lost. Florida Man feels like a fraud since he really only lost his freedom temporarily due to his choices, where others have lost loved ones, jobs, and hope. He retreats inward hoping not to have to participate.
Florida Man Dilemma: Seeing that he is not participating, Elliot raises the stakes, indicating that he not only needs to participate but he also needs to lead the group in the next exercise, or he will not be welcome back.
Elliot and Twyla Dilemma: To Twyla’s disapproval, Elliot gives Florida Man and ultimatum, step up, or step out.
Janitor Deeper Layer: When Elliot gives Florida Man the ultimatum to open up or get out the Janitor stops sweeping and Twyla’s attention goes to him immediately as if expecting an intervention
Elliot and Twyla Major Conflict: Twyla gives the group a trust building exercise that Florida Man leads with relative success, but they see that he lacks the ability to inspire the group.
Florida Man Major Conflict: Florida Man steps up when he recalls a memory that fear is false evidence appearing real in our minds. He leads the group on a simple first trust building exercise.
Group Deeper Layer: The first trust exercise (bad to good) is awkward and doesn’t go so well (Elliot’s idea), but Twyla’s exercise is executed better
Turning Point: Elliot and Twyla see the reluctance of Florida Man to participate personal information and in turn make him the leader of the group.
ACT 5
Essence: As the first session is winding down and Florida Man seemingly fails at inspiring the group, Twyla and Elliot offer a powerful piece of insight.
Florida Man Ending: Florida Man hears from Elliot and Twyla that the common bond of the group is that they are all seeking revolution, and wonders if it’s possible that they mean they all desire seeking the truth in the way he does.
Elliot and Twyla Ending: Twyla and Elliot tell the group that they are all here because they share a common bond: revolution.
Judge Deeper Layer: Elliot and Twyla tell the group that they were assembled because they are all pursuing revolution
Janitor Deeper Layer: As the group leaves the room, the Janitor returns and tells them to start prepping for the second session—he is the architect of the experiment
Lock In: Elliot and Twyla reveal that the group has a common bond, they are all craving revolution, but to each of them that means something different, and in order to achieve that revolution in their lives, they must learn to work together. The group all agrees, but for different reasons.
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Sharilyn’s Layers and Reveals
What I learned doing this assignment is…I need a comedy sample to see how this works in a funny way.
Teaser:
Essence: Over black, moans, groans, clicking keyboard sounds. Eating? Fucking? Typing? An excited “Yes!” Climax reached.
surface LAYER: People are aroused
beneath LAYER: Erin eats out of boredom. Walley gets paid, but not enough, to hack.
• Erin-Beginning: In her bedroom, safe. Chillin’ and eating.
REVEAL: Food and hacking, in separate places, excite Erin and Walley
Turning Point: A deep belch. Snoring.
• Walley-Beginning: Dark hours of the night or day? Face lighted by computer glare. Talking to himself? Hacking.
Act 1:
Essence: Song like Weird Al Yankovich’s “Eat it!” awakens grossly obese Erin who barely moves in a sunken twin bed. She feeds the birds and herself via delivery. KIDS clamor at her window.
surface LAYER: Erin is a caring, bedridden teacher.
beneath LAYER: Erin’s window is a lifeline.
REVEAL: Erin watches the world through her window.
• Patty-Opening: Saunters up for Erin’s snack order for the day. Kids admire Patty
Turning Point: Walley reviews Erin footage in his trailer alongside his blow-up doll girlfriend
surface LAYER: Walley is a recluse creeper.
beneath LAYER: Walley believes he has to protect his trailer from government intrusion. Conspiracy. Everyone is watching him.
• Walley-Turning Point: Hacks Erin’s room thru her phone as an example to Kandy
• Walley-(Dilemma is optional.) Walley can’t convince Kandy that his hacking will pan out/protect them
Act 2:
Essence: Erin gets weighed and washed by her caretaker, Ms. Chen & besty#2 Mi-Ya. Besty #1 Patty prances around, pumping Erin up for the day
surface LAYER: Everyone on board with helping Erin get healthy, feel good about her fat self
beneath LAYER: Erin enjoys the attention. Patty gets to practice her make-up artistry, Mi-Ya gets a free model for her Fat Femme Fashion line; Ms. Chen gets paid well
• Patty-Beginning: Super sexy and confident in preparing Erin’s hair & make-up for the day
• Ms. Chen-Beginning: Fussing over Erin. Washing her. Weighing her.
• Mi-Ya-Beginning: Sassy while assisting her mom in washing/weighing Erin
REVEAL: Patty takes pictures and sends them off; Mi-Ya measures Erin. Also photographing Erin; Ms. Chen fixes eating equipment in Erin’s room, tidy’s up. Erin’s routine pops-up on Walley’s screen
• Mi-Ya-Ending: She challenges Erin to get fit for her fat fashion line
• Walley-Turning Point 2: Kandy Kane blow-up Doll girlfriend resents the time he spends hacking. They argue. He doesn’t want her to return to work in sex-trade industry
Turning Point/Midpoint: Later, alone, in the dark, Erin falls and she can’t get up.
surface LAYER: Erin is hungry all the time
beneath LAYER: She masturbates with food at night. Then eats it.
• Erin-Turning Point: She falls out of bed, reaching for a snack. No one in her room. She can’t get herself up.
REVEAL: Erin can walk. Baby steps.
• Patty-Turning Point: She can’t help Erin get up, too concerned about her look
• Patty-Midpoint: Patty and Ms. Chen fight over call/not call the 1st Responder.
Erin’s bleeding from somewhere. Parents Stu&Lu, Ms. Chen rush to her aid
surface LAYER: Erin’s parents really care. Period blood or blood from the fall.
beneath LAYER: Erin’s a cutter-her masturbation food ritual.
REVEAL: Erin’s knives in her room, under the bed, for “protection.” Parents check “security” cameras
• Ms. Chen-Turning Point: She calls the 1st Responders against Erin’s wishes
• Mi-Ya-Turning Point: She doesn’t wanna help Erin get up because it helps her mom
• Erin-(Dilemma is optional.) Erin has to leave the house to see the doctor about her bleeding
• Walley-(Dilemma is optional) Report the Erin footage or use it?
Act 3:
Essence: 1st Responders can’t get Erin out of her house. Convince her to leave. She’s humiliated.
surface LAYER: Erin’s afraid to go outside.
beneath LAYER: Erin doesn’t wanna leave her safe place. Show that she can walk.
REVEAL:
• Patty-Turning Point 2: Patty’s DAD shows up as one of the 1st Responders. She fights with him.
• Erin-Turning Point 2: Erin’s bleeding “examination” is humiliating.
• Ms. Chen-Midpoint: Ms. Chen doesn’t defend Erin’s weight nor protect her during fat-shaming
• Erin-Major Conflict: She refuses to leave/see a doctor.
Turning Point: Her besty Patty protects, while Ms. Chen and Mi-Ya push Erin to do better for herself. Patty confronts her Father, an ambulance driver. Walley previews his “Fat Bitch Pitch” for porno
surface LAYER: Ambulance driver is a former lover. Walley targets Erin.
beneath LAYER: Ms. Chen and Mi-Ya are sick of Erin’s neediness.
REVEAL: Walley redirect his surveillance cameras. Stumbles upon Erin. Researches “Porn for profit”
• Walley-Midpoint: Watches the whole 1st Responder fiasco while simultaneously editing footage
• Patty-Major Conflict: Patty’s dad refuses to help his colleagues lift Erin’s limbs
Act 4:
Essence: Erin confides in Patty about her fat-shame. Erin & Patty reminisce
surface LAYER: Erin thanks Patty for being there for her.
beneathLAYER: Erin and Patty “did it” after a wild night of cutting, drinking, eating
REVEAL: Erin dissatisfied with Ms. Chen, Mi-Ya, Patty caring for her.
• Ms. Chen-Turning Point 2: Ms. Chen drags Stu&Lu into ganging up on Erin
• Mi-Ya-Midpoint: She sides with her mom about Erin’s weight taking over her life
• Mi-Ya-Turning Point 2: She presents more fashionable muumuu’s to Erin’s dislike
• Mi-Ya-Major Conflict: She fights with Erin
Turning Point: Walley’s Erin footage goes viral
• Ms. Chen-Major Conflict: Mi-Ya defends Erin to her mom, Ms. Chen, who has 2nd thoughts about how she handled Erin
Act 5:
Essence: Erin vows to lose weight. Porno press flags Erin footage.
surface LAYER: Erin is innocent.
beneath LAYER: Erin wants a man, not a cucumber.
REVEAL: Erin picks her body apart in a full-length mirror.
• Erin-Midpoint: Fat shaming 1st responders, neighbors, family, friends make her see herself as they do
• Ms. Chen-(Dilemma is optional.) Help Erin by coddling or hurt her by making her face the truth? Tough Love.
• Major Conflict: Walley reviews, edits and sends off his Erin pitch
Lock In: Medic calls Erin revealing she lost a baby. WTF!?! She didn’t even know she was preggers!
• Ms. Chen-Ending: Ms. Chen face in security camera caught by Mi-Ya
• Patty-Ending: Erin consoles Patty who leaves her in a huff
• Erin-Ending: Erin discovers she was preggers.
• Mi-Ya-(Dilemma is optional.) Tell Erin that her mom has a camera on her or not?
• Ending: Chubby Chasers, porno folks blow up Walley’s phone
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