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Day 5 Assignments
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Cameron Martin’s Powerful Setups
What I learned doing this assignment is…Woof. There’s a lot that went into this, and I’m sure there’s even more to add. But, the end result is by writing all of my setups down this way and organizing them is that I can clearly see how they all work, tinker where necessary, and use this list a reference when going through rewrites so as to properly set up a powerful ending.
A. Build their Reputation
Sully refuses assistance, telling the staff that if they don’t do exactly what he says, the patient will die. He proves to be correct.
Sully tells Isaiah that if he doesn’t do exactly what he says, that he’ll die.
Sully listens to and applies some of Isaiah’s knowledge of the aliens, admitting he doesn’t know as much on how to survive.
Sully locks Isaiah in a closet, believing that that will keep Isaiah safe, since Isaiah won’t listen.
Sully pushes Isaiah forward, despite Isaiah’s pleas, resulting in Isaiah getting infected.
Sully apologizes and asks Isaiah to help him save him. Sully carries Isaiah around, still taking charge, until…
Sully gets pinned down and is out of ideas. He asks Isaiah to take the metaphorical wheel and get them to a medical bay where Sully can help his son.Sully is inventive, particularly when it comes to repurposing tools, as is first shown in the initial medical bay scene when he has assistants break and repurpose medical equipment that results in saving the life of a worker.
Sully crafts a pair of earmuffs using his deceased wife’s headband and other items.
After seeing that the aliens can’t be hurt once they’re inside a host, Sully crafts a weapon that can puncture the host and hit the worm possessing it.
Sully crafts an exo-suit for both himself and his son to be able to go outside.
Sully crafts a noisemaker that draws the worms and has them swarm.Isaiah is shown to be quirky.
Isaiah built a Rube Goldberg machine, though incomplete (he’s very smart and takes an interest in machines)
Isaiah’s hiding SOMETHING under his bed. The boy has interests in other areas as well, and they’re kept secret.
Isaiah informs his dad about a compromise in the bunker, but when Sully brushes him off, Isaiah tries to prove it by using a simple machine (pulley system) that breaks.
Isaiah is hypersensitive to noise and touch, reacting irrationally when he’s being escorted and when the alarm is going off.
Isaiah plays brown noise to try to calm his nerves.
Isaiah wears earmuffs made from his mother’s headband.
Isaiah argues that he’s interested in the aliens because he’s not scared of them. He blames people for his mother’s death, including Sully, more-so than the aliens since they’re just acting out of instinct.
Isaiah uses his knowledge of simple machines to break out of the locked closet.
He then uses his knowledge of the aliens to crawl past a swarming nest, unscathed.
He uses his knowledge of simple machines to save his dad, and both knowledge bases to get Sully and he pasts the hordes of exterminators and alien hosts.B. Justification for the final actions
Despite Isaiah’s observable intelligence and knowledge of the aliens, he proves to be someone that can’t be trusted to listen to one request. He’s rebellious to a fault, and it first shows up in a small way when he tries to lie his way out of going to classes.
He then sneaks out of class and makes a discovery that he has to tell Sully about.
Sully excuses him to go back to class, but Isaiah resists, opting instead to get his point across by trying to breach the walls of the colony, breaking a important medical device in the process.
Isaiah refuses to come out when the alarm goes off, and fights with Sully over being carried.
Isaiah tries to stop Sully and Jude from killing the alien worms, hoping to teach a catch and release strategy.
Sully has a nightmare about Isaiah getting infected because he couldn’t leave the worms alone.
This all leads to Sully locking Isaiah in a closet to keep him safe.Markus stowed away on a passenger vessel to space in order to avoid being drafted for a war. Markus is a preacher that swore a pacifist oath to avoid conflict.
The Hegemony conscripted all of its passengers, including Markus, to wipe out the worms.
Despite Markus referencing his oath, the Hegemony doubles down, conscripting him to kill worms and conspires to use him to execute mutineers.
Markus is forced to kill the man he saved earlier.
Markus watches countless people die from the worms.
Markus listens to and observes Jude’s testimony, realizing all of the bloodshed he witnessed and engaged in was avoidable.C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions
The worms can be go anywhere throughout the facility, using the vents, the walls, etc.
The worms are resistant to blunt damage and are very malleable, able to squeeze into just about any space
The worms can take control of any other living organism: the host of which is impervious to pain, and will use broken bones as weapons.
The worms aren’t limited to infecting hosts in their adult stage, but can infect you in their fungal stage as well, where their eggs are spread through the air like spores
Anyone can be infected and become a monster at any time.
Sully and Isaiah are outnumbered a hundred to one.The exterminators, though conscripted, are an army greater in size than the colony hosts.
The exterminators are equipped with guns, where Sully and Isaiah aren’t.
The exterminators are lead by the Hegemony, which has already been set up as more ruthless and unwilling to compromise than Sully.D. Discuss the final actions openly
Isaiah suggests that they can keep Jude alive a little longer, with her infection, by keeping the lungs hydrated.
Sully talks about the procedure he hates rendering the most is a bronchoscopy because of what it reminds him of. He also mentions he doesn’t know if it’d every work as a “cure” for infection because so much of the severity is dependent on how many spore eggs you breathe in. A dozen may be doable, but a hundred would kill the patient and everyone else in the room.
Jude says they won’t get out of the situation they’re in. Sully backs this up telling Isaiah their only chance to stay alive is to get inside the bunker, because when the exterminators arrive, they will kill everyone not inside the bunker.E. Twists that take it away
Sully and Isaiah are caught outside the bunker.
They both receive the help from a skilled spy, Jude, but…
Jude is outside the bunker only because she was infected, and Sully and Isaiah have to kill her before she turns.
The Bunker is not safe, and is in fact the most dangerous part of the colony.
Isaiah gets infected.F. Alternate Hope/fear
Sully can’t get Isaiah out from under the bed (Fear)
Sully crafts something that comforts Isaiah (Hope)
Sully and Isaiah are caught outside the bunker (Fear)
Sully and Isaiah are rescued and assisted by Jude (Hope)
Jude is infected (Fear)
Jude had a map to get inside the bunker (Hope)
The Bunker is hell (Fear)
Sully and Isaiah escape (Hope)
The Exterminators arrive (Fear)G. Create and pay off emotional setups
Negative: Sully has had a control problem since the death of his wife. He refuses any and all help, opting instead to take everything on himself. This reveals itself in treating an impalement wound for an injured worker, where he refuses assistance from fellow doctors. However, the negative isn’t truly displayed here, as his strategy works. He comes out a hero, just like Dr. House in that TV show.
Impact: Sully’s control issues present themselves in his son, who resists being controlled. Isaiah repeatedly displays a knowledge and skill that would complement Sully’s strengths, if only Sully would consider Isaiah. Even though Sully does steadily improve in this area, considering Isaiah’s advice and expertise on the aliens, he makes two critical errors in locking his son in a closet to keep him safe, and again when in the heat of the moment he pushes Isaiah forward and accidentally gets him infected.
Overcomes It: Sully, trapped and holding his son who’s going to die, asks Isaiah to take over and get them to where Sully can save him. Sully completely surrenders for a moment, recognizing he can’t control everything.
Recognized: Isaiah recognizes his dad’s sacrifice and does exactly as he’s told when he’s asked for the first time in the story. Isaiah trusts his dad as much as his dad trusts him.
H. Suspense around the outcome
Sully’s wife died from the aliens prior to the events of the film.
We see a teenager become an alien host, and his pediatrician kill himself before the teenager completes his transformation.
Sully and Isaiah are assured that there’s no way to save Jude, and that the only option is to kill the host and the worms inside.
Sully dreams about Isaiah getting infected and turning to kill Sully.
Isaiah actually gets infected. -
ASSIGNMENT
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Kate’s Powerful Setups)
What I learned doing this assignment is Whew! some of this is hard to tease out from/inject into the s direction and story as it currently is. Some good ideas and Aha’s! though. Looking forward to working this unit with the script when I have it assembled…
Current Nia (Protagnist) Vs Darrough (Antagonist)
CONTEXT: Darrogh is destroying the town, and has ‘killed’ Nia’s Mother
Nia has always imagined him to be perfect and now has to name the truth to him herself and in front of the community.
FINAL ACTIONS
to show Darrogh the con he fell into – humiliate him in public via a play
to show D she knows what he did to her mother and who he is – an epilogue playlet
to resist his pleas to stay with him after he is broken
to leave without taking anything he offers – free to live her own life.
A. Build their Reputation
Nia: her friends describe her as stubborn, manic, principled and a risk-taker
We see her rock climbing, playing pool well, and tearing off to confront Luciana regardless of the consequences, challenging Shaunn to get to know his Mother, staying with Darrorgh even as she plots against him.
B. Justification for the final actions
Darrogh is deliberately destroying the town,
he has used gambling to fleece people.
he is plans to build a huge landfill on all the land he can buy to be named after him
he has a vendetta against Luciana
he was responsible for Nia’s mother;’s death’
he abandoned Nia when she was 6
C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions
two con attempts fail,
Nia is always hopeful sure she can save him
he constantly works to constantly remind her that he is her Dad
she has the letter from her dead Mother asking her to forgive her father
she generally avoids conflict preferring to smooth things out tease/cajole people into things
that doesnt work with Darrogh
D. Discuss the final actions openly
The group working on the con
the plan for the Tell All play
]the plan to create an event to get him to come to and see the play
E. Twists that take it away
Darrogh offers to take care of everyone
Darrogh also has a letter from Amahla and she writes about how his daughter will take care of him
A huge storm comes overnight
F. Alternate Hope/fear
Everybody agrees to create a new ‘play’ to reveal it all (hope)
Darrogh isnt interested going to another play (Fear)_
They invite him to an ‘event’ in which he will be given the keys to the landfill (Hope)
The storm comes (fear)
The plays must go on (Hope)
After the revelation D tries to bribe and emotionally blackmail Nia (fear)
G. Create and pay off emotional setups
Neg: Darrogh calls her a stupid little girl who knows nothing and can’t do anything
Impact: Nia is cowered, embarrassed and very hurt. She leaves his house
Overcome: She creates and performs a parody of the Desdemona scene – calls him out for her Mother
Recog: he breaks down and slinks off/Luciana says her mother would be proud.
H. Suspense around the outcome
The storm
Darrogh might not come
Nia gets cold feet
Is the con/$ fully secure
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DAY 5 – Setting Up Your Endings Powerfully
Lisa’s Powerful Setups
What I learned is that the more I play with the ending the more I get confused because there are so many possibilities. What will I do? I’m not sure at this moment.
A. Build their Reputation – Mary saves Peter from drowning and runs the festival
like a boss. Peter is unpredictable due to his PTSD. Joseph is steadfast and
never gives up on Mary.
B. Justification for the final actions – Mary proved at
the beginning that she’s a bad-ass by jumping off a bridge even though she
hates heights and saving Peter from drowning. She has confidence that she can thwart
Peter’s plan. They were high school sweethearts, and she knows him better than
anyone.C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions – Throughout the
movie Mary has been trying to decide what she really wants for her future. Can
she be happy if she stays in her one-horse town and continues to run the IAWL festival
each year like her mom did? Or would she be happier living in a new town and
exploring the world outside Seneca Falls. Whatever she decides, we know she’ll
be okay because she’s an amazing mom and person. But will she find love?D. Discuss the final actions openly – Throughout the
movie, Joseph proposes to Mary more than once and she turns him down. He says
that he’s not giving up, but by the end he says he’s not giving up “yet”. Meaning
it’s finally getting old to him. Mary throughout is worried about Peter’s state
of mind and expresses that several times. She’s thinks that he may do something
bad that he really doesn’t mean to do.E. Twists that take it away – Dash and Donna as
the comic relief are bumbling the chase. Mary and Peter’s daughter gets lost at
the IAWL parade and everyone scatters to find her.F. Alternate Hope/fear – Fear that Peter
is going to hurt Santa Claus. Hope that Mary can find them in time. Fear
because the police don’t believe Mary when they ask for their help. Hope when
Tilly confesses to Mary, so Mary knows where to find Peter and Santa. Fear of what
the NORAD agents, Dash and Donna will do if they find Peter before Mary.G. Create and pay off emotional setups – Opening, Mary
saves Peter from drowning and Peter breaks down. Ma Jenkins describes Peter as
a war hero who is to be respected. Mary almost accidentally hits Peter with her
car. Peter is seen going around town and helping out neighbors for money since
his snowmobile shop is going under and he has no income. Joseph repeatedly
proposes to Mary and says he loves her, but she doesn’t return the sentiments.
Does she love him? Or does she still love Peter? This is the emotional question
of the movie. Janie gets lost at the parade causing Mary and Peter to be
besides themselves. Once Mary finds Janie, they have an emotional heart to
heart outside the church. The townspeople sing Silent Night.H. Suspense around the outcome – Mary jumps in
front of the gun on the roof as Dash, the NORAD agent shoots at Peter. She
falls off the roof. Peter and the audience think she was shot. Then Janie when is
lost at the parade, can they find her well? Will Mary take the love of Joseph? Or
will she return to Peter? Will she leave town or stay? -
PS81 – Dana’s Powerful Setups
What I learned Doing This Assignment
This assignment helped me pinpoint where my setups were imbedded in my story and how to reveal them in the third act to create a more powerful ending. I also didn’t realize how many setups I had written until this assignment.
Build their reputation
Ellen’s reputation
– Opening: Ellen fails her patient and watches him attempt suicide in front of her.
– Pete, the station manager, talks with Jerry, the owner, regarding Ellen’s failing ratings. She’s not confrontational. Afraid to engage her callers. She’s hiding from what happened.
– Ellen laments to Claire that she’s to eager to please the callers, not diagnose them
– Ellen questions if she’s hiding and afraid to go back to private practice
– Sullivan tells Sorensen that Ellen isn’t qualified, that her skills are limited by her education (revealing Sullivan’s arrogance).
– Ellen takes several calls where she appeases the callers.
Sorensen’s reputation
– Sorensen is accused and admits to putting a gun to a suspect’s head for a confession.
– Sorensen is frustrated watching a lawyer help a suspect go free.
– His lieutenant warns Sorensen about making up his own rules.
– Sorensen states that street justice is sometimes preferable to legal justice.
– When Sorensen begins to investigate, he suspects the husband is having an affair, and his lieutenant accuses him of being a cynic. Sorensen says he a cop – meaning the same thing.
Jason’s reputation
– Jason calls the radio station and threatens Ellen’s family.
– Ellen tells Sorensen that Jason was a homeless patient who suffered from depression, but he was never violent.
– Sullivan tells Sorenson that Jason was the patient who attempted suicide in front of Ellen, that he suffers from DID and has multiple personalities. Several are dangerous.
Ryan’s reputation
– Claire hesitates to put him on air after she screens his initial phone call. “Something’s not right with guy.”
– Ryan reveals his sociopathic attitudes during his first conversation with Ellen.
– Ryan reveals himself as one of Jason’s personalities.
William’s reputation
Sullivan explains that Ellen never met Jason, that she treated William, Jason’s narcissistic personality who shot himself in front of Ellen.
– When Ellen draws William from the dark, Sullivan warns the police that he isn’t suicidal, he’s psychotic and shot himself to present other alters from taking control.
Justification for the Final Actions
– Jason/William shoots himself in the opening out of envy for “the others.”
– Jason threatens Ellen’s family.
– Ryan blackmails Ellen by threatening to killer her husband and daughters every hour unless she capitulates to his demands.
– Ryan goads Sorensen, suggesting they’ve met before, and describes a brutal crime for which Sorensen helped convict the wrong man.
– Ryan kills Ellen’s husband on air because her time ran out.
– Ryan grabs Ellen’s eldest daughter and we hear her screaming for her life.
Cast doubt on the success of the final actions
– Ellen watches her patient shoot himself
– Jerry explains that Ellen isn’t confrontational enough with callers, resulting in her low ratings.
– Ellen professes her inability to confront patients, that she’s too accommodating.
– Ellen hides the fact that Jason/William shot himself, hiding her failure and responsibility from Sorensen.
– Sullivan wants that Ellen is not qualified to deal with Jason
Discuss the final actions openly
– Ryan explains that for Ellen to save her family, she had to make Jason disappear.
– When Ellen draws out William, Sorensen realizes her intent is to pressure him to commit suicide.
– Sullivan warns the police Ellen’s trying to get William to shoot himself.
Twists that take it away
– Ryan tells Sorensen they’ve met before and describes a brutal crime Sorensen investigated, for which someone else was blamed. But is it true? Or is he just screwing with the detective?
– William, having been drawn out, is no longer suicidal and throws in with Ryan to share control.
– Bobby, the 10-year-old personality, inadvertently gives the police a lead involving a dog that leads them to find Jason.
– After Jason is dead, Sorensen receives a phone call from another psychiatrist who recognized Jason’s picture from the news. The psychiatrist explains that Jason was being held for ten-day observation in his clinic and was only released that morning. There was no way he could have kidnapped Ellen’s family. Sorensen realizes Ryan was a separate person.
– One week later, another SF radio show takes a call from Ryan who tells the host, “I’m a long-time listener. And a first-time caller.”
Alternate hope/fear
– The police have tracked the husband’s phone (hope), but when they burst into the room, they only find the dead Uber driver and the husband’s phone (fear).
– Jason’s sister tries to talk him into surrendering (hope), but before she can succeed, Ryan takes control again and threatens Ellen for involving family, one of his earlier rules (fear).
– Sorensen investigates to find Ellen’s family, suggesting a possible miscommunication (hope), until Ryan calls and puts Ellen’s husband on the phone, revealing her family has been kidnapped (fear).
– Ellen successfully draws William from the darkness to save her daughters (hope), but William throws in with Ryan to stay in control (fear).
– The police discover another possible location and dispatch SWAT (hope), but Ellen continues to press William to shoot himself, not taking the risk of another police false hope (fear).
– Ellen turns William against Ryan, (hope) but Ryan grabs Ellen’s eldest daughter, who screams for her mother’s help only to hear the gun fire and the call drop (fear).
Create and payoff emotional setups
– Ellen is unable to save her husband when Ryan shoots him on air. Ellen collapses emotionally in Detective Sorensen’s arms, who empowers her to continue. In her rage, Ellen finds her courage to confront Ryan, and she presses Jason/William to shoot himself, killing Ryan’s personality, and saving her daughters.
– Pete, the station manager, is pressured by the owner, Jerry, not to pick up Ellen’s option due to her poor ratings. Pete is forced to let Ellen go. But when Jerry calls during the crisis, complaining they have a golden opportunity for ratings, Pete stands up for Ellen, telling Jerry to shove his greed up his ass and hangs up, even if it costs him his job.
– After Ellen’s husband is killed, Sorensen allows Ellen to vent her rage on him, blaming him for not finding husband. He empowers Ellen until she succeeds, and in their final moment, before she is driven to her daughters, she touches his face and thanks him for being her strength. As she is driven off, Sorensen’s emotions are revealed, trying to hold his tears.
Suspense around the outcome
– After Jason calls the radio station and threatens Ellen’s family:
Ellen’s husband doesn’t answer his phone
her children have not yet arrived at school
Sorensen learns Jason suffers from DID, and some of his personalities are dangerous
the husband never arrived at his class and the children never arrived at school
the Uber driver who drove them has disappeared
OUTCOME: Ryan calls the station and confirms Ellen’s family has been kidnapped
– Ryan blackmails Ellen, forcing her to exile Jason to the darkness or he’ll killer her family. And when she fails, Ryan kills her husband on air.
– When they first meet, Ellen tells Sorensen she has to respect Jason’s patient confidentiality. But after her husband is shot, and she collapses emotionally, she offers Sorensen Jason’s patient file. When he asks about confidentiality, she says, “Fuck him.”
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PS81 Day 5 (Writing Great Endings) Anita’s Powerful Setups
What I learned: This assignment was a bit exhausting, as it had me looking at my entire storyline from 3 different character’s points of views – which is a good thing. But it encompassed a lot. It raised multiple places for me where I might enhance setups for my ending. And the question of meaning had me thinking about the overarching meaning I hope to instill in this script. And I think one way to look at the story (especially the ending scene) is with the umbrella metaphor that it could stand for every parent who has ever been disappointed in their child; and every child who has felt letdown or disempowered by its parent. Keeping this in the back of my mind as I write and rewrite will help me keep the humanity (not just the issue of abortion) more immediate.
ASSIGNMENT
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Write the setups for your ending using these steps:
1. Looking at your current ending, generate ideas on how you can set it up powerfully using each of these techniques. Try to come up with at least one setup for each of the techniques below.
A. Build their Reputation:
Danica:
She is driven in her career to the exclusion of all else: Gives up baby at birth; Powers through pregnancy while studying for her LSAT’s; seen as aloof by co-workers; gets promoted to partner at work; awkward with her sister’s kids; she ignores all the warning signs of impending kidney failure. (priorities don’t even include her health) until she passes out arguing her big case.
Cyrus: His reputation as a conservative (ultra-right-wing) judge gets him elected at state level, then appointed to appellate and then circuit courts. His wife leaves him for being hypocritical and having a child out of wedlock.
Harley: We see her start with small cruelties, leading to the ultimate: scorching ants with a magnifying glass as a child; poisoning the HS mascot; aborting her own child without a second thought; then killing her biological father (Cyrus).
B. Justification for the final actions
Danica: It is mostly passive – she gets sicker, then collapses and put in the hospital on the UNIS transplant list, and ultimately receives her transplant (through the manipulations of Harley).
Cyrus: He is a hypocritical narcissist, who we are shocked by, but not overly sad at, his death at the end.
Harley: As stated above, Harley has a cruel and twisted streak. She is also brilliant as we watch her over-achieve thru school and scholarships and job placement – at a Biological Genetics Lab – where she has access to her parent’s genetic and personal health info, and where she hatches the idea to meet her mother and make sure Danica receives Cyrus’ kidney (after ascertaining he is a perfect match).
C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions
Danica: Will she die before she gets the transplant? We see a series of increasing and troubling health issues until a collapse in court.
Cyrus: He doesn’t see anything coming. But he is a creature of habit, and there are several scenes foreshadowing his death in a hit and run when he retrieves his morning paper outside his driveway gates.
Harley: Does Harley really have access to all the information she needs to plan the final outcome?
D. Discuss the final actions openly
Danica: Her sister dies, which propels her to seek medical assistance for herself. The doctor tells her outright she needs a transplant, or will die.
Cyrus: He is clueless about either Danica’s health or Harley’s scheme.
Harley: Not going to happen. It would give the ending away.
E. Twists that take it away
Danica: Her health seems to rally, right before it fails, along with losing her big case.
Cyrus: He is appointed to the 5th Circuit Judiciary, with thoughts about moving higher in politics, only to have his wife leave him at this very point in time, as she finds out about his illegitimate daughter.
Harley: Hmmm…. Good question. I will think on this.
F. Alternate Hope/fear
Danica: Hope: her kidney will no fail / she will win her big case. Fear: She will die before the needed transplant / She loses her big case. Hope: She can find Harley and create a connection there / Fear: She will never connect with Harley.
Cyrus: Hope: Power. Fear: Loss of reputation, and hence, loss of power
Harley: Hope: Landing her dream job with a genetics lab / Fear: ? She is Fearless – too psychologically damaged and twisted to know fear.
G. Create and pay off emotional setups
Danica: Writing the scene of her sister’s funeral needs to culminate in a lot of emotional for the otherwise emotionally closed-off Danica.
Cyrus: I need to beef up his gloating every time he wins a case / gets promoted.
Harley: Note to self: I need to infuse more obsession into Harley’s search for her biological parents.
H. Suspense around the outcome
Danica: She is ultimately at death’s door.
Cyrus: Clueless.
Harley: Scheming / master manipulator
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June Fortunato’s Powerful Setups. Day 5 of endings for Retirement
What I learned: My ending is not written, although I plan on the ultimate confrontation, upbeat, I’m not sure how it will happen and won’t find it until I write the scenes. I’m torn about the location for the final confrontation. I did comb through my screenplay, straighten out my timeline, and insert a couple of scenes for attack, and counter attack. Now I want to write my last 15 pages.
MEANING Theme: what is home?
A. BUILD THEIR REPUTATION Brian, willing to do anything for Ingrid. Ingrid, dirty and self centered.
Kim, willing to act crazy – outrageous- to scare them. Also smart and deceptive. Roy, also crazyass, but tender and wounded. Protective to a fault.
B. JUSTIFICATION FOR THE FINAL ACTIONS
Roy sees hope for the first time in 50 years with Kim. Roy feels like he wants to be alive for the first time since the war. Roy will do anything to win Kim permanently- risk his life- she’s the first one since he lost his buddy that he would die for. Kim has been tortured and squashed and robbed.
Brian has justification because he’s so afraid he’ll lose Ingrid. Ingrid will stop at nothing- will forge not only Kim’s signature but Brian’s. She’ll also rat Oren as an ally and obstruction of justice. She must have some “ooo la la”
C. CAST DOUBT ABOUT THE SUCCESS OF THE FINAL ACTIONS
Brian has beaten Kim down so many times. And she usually rolls over. She’s ineffectual. And fearful. What holds her back? The hope that her brother will come to his senses. Roy walks on the edge of breakdown. Roy doesn’t know if he wants to get back into life. Roy is willing to walk off the face of the earth.
D. DISCUSS THE FINAL ACTIONS OPENLY
Early in the script, Kim tells Roy that she has proof of Brian and Ingrid’s embezzlement, theft, forgery and obstruction of justice. She’s copied and mailed proof to the Department of Justice, the Bank, and local detectives. She tells Roy about it.
A plan that goes wrong. Brian and Ingrid discuss the plan with Oren. Oren gets shaky feet. Ingrid threatens to drop him if he doesn’t spine up.
Roy introduces Kim to Denny.
Ingrid wants to file for a restraining order. Brian insists that he can’t do that because Kim has to sign the deed first.
E. TWISTS THAT TAKE IT AWAY
What about Marilyn? Marilyn’s daughter will return to take care of the house and dogs when Marilyn is moved to the hospice. But she does not want the dogs.
Ingrid evidently already forged Kim’s signature so there’s a question about the deed. And, she also put the house solely in her name.
F. ALTERNATE HOPE/FEAR
Kim mails letters. CEO seen opening one of the letters as Brian walks by. Department of Justice- fraud section. Opens letters. Denny joins and expedites the legal process.
Fear Brian and Ingrid testify that Kim should be locked up, and Oren backs them up. Roy might melt down. Marilyn moved to hospice- and living situation might evaporate before this takes place.
G. CREATE AND PAY OFF EMOTIONAL SETUPS Kim fears rejection by Marilyn who forgives her. Roy has a meltdown, so the next time, he could be triggered, but he is not. Roy is rejected for an apartment and so getting a permanent home is payoff. Roy gives up on a bank account when he runs into Brian, but now he gets a bank account.
H. SUSPENSE AROUND THE OUTCOME Brian and Ingrid are in the process of winning and will Kim and Roy stop them in time?
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DAY 5 POWERFUL SETUPS
What I learned doing this assignment. I learned that I could do it. Last assignment I was losing confidence. My work seemed terrible, banal. Going through the steps provided and building emotion worked this time.
Note to a reader, should I be so fortunate.
Based on real events;
The boys mentioned in the story are real-life street kids that I encountered working ‘at large’ in the community with the homeless. The 3rd Act The Cuckoos Nest is a real drug dealing structure that exists in the U.K. Unfortunately everything else is fantasy, mostly.
THE LIFE OF PIRATE written by Anna Harper
Pirate is the second of a 3 part screenplay. Pirate is one of three Newfoundland dogs in the series with superpowers. Alfie from the first movie SILENT NIGHT is telepathic, Pirate is a healer, and then there’s Cocoa, yet to be written. Alfie’s goal is to find his littermates.
1st Act
Sets up the story world, the characters, and their challenges. Sophie leaves her boyfriend Sandy of ten years to take the exciting challenge of living on a farm as a condition of a legacy left by their friend James.
Part of the conditions is that the farm is used and that Pirate his Newfoundland is taken care of. (Pirate has superpowers, he is a powerful healer)
It all sounds great until Sandy takes Sophie to court to try and get the terms of the will overturned so he can benefit financially.. Part of the conditions of the will is that James’s work with street youth is continued in some way. Sophie an out-of-work actress has no idea what this means or how she could go about doing the work. UNTIL
Sophie finds Chris outside Marks and Spencer in the hot sun, he is late teens and has already lost a leg to septicemia, he is still actively taking drugs.
He has nowhere to stay. Sophie takes Chris to recover at the farm.,Pirate hangs out with Chris. Pirate has a healing effect on Chris. Sophie gives Chris a responsible job. It works out. For a while. Chris is the first boy at the farm, so the adjustment is weird. More homeless youth come to the farm.
2nd Act
Sophie takes the bull by the horns and meets objections every step of the way. Her new team of teens runs her ragged, yet quickly are won over by her., mostly with good food and sympathy. She is still naive.
The boys are not sure about her new boyfriend, (neither is Sophie) a retired policeman. The boys are still up to trouble. Colin wins them over by teaching them self-defense and guitar.
Alfie (from Silent Night No 1 in the 3-part series), comes to the farm and is reunited with his littermate Pirate. Alfie stays for a while on a dog holiday. Alfie and Pirate run interference when they find the boys up to various things they should not be up to. Alfie and Pirate rescue one of the boys from drowning at a local beach. Sophie thinks she is winning with the positive publicity, BUT
The council does not think the farmhouse is suitable, they want to close it down. She uses some of the inheritance money to build a bunk house for the boys. And then wonders how will they make more sustaining funds?
Sophie and Sandy have a court appearance. The Judge has retired to consider.
The neighbors complain about having troubled youth in the vicinity. Sophie holds a meeting and addresses all of their concerns. She gains some support when some of the parents talk about their parenting challenges.
That night, the police show up at the farm and of course, the village locals get wind that there is trouble which feeds the dissenters of the Youth Project. They continue lobbying to get the farm shut down.
Act 3
The Cuckoo’s Nest
The police reveal to a horrified Sophie, that one of her boys has been selling drugs in town. He was caught out by an undercover policeman. Worse he has been giving cocaine to Chris who is still very ill from septicemia
Sophie has some trust built with the boy in question. He reveals that a drug gang member has taken up residence in his mother’s flat, he uses the flat as a base to lure other teens into dealing drugs. The mother is on welfare and not doing well. Neglects her son, he was taken away by the child protection, he ran away, ended up on the streets, and was recruited by the Cuckoo.
Colin comes to the rescue and they devise a plan to ensnare the drug pimp and use him in exchange for a ‘deal’ to catch others playing the “Cuckoo” drug game.
Alfie and Pirate are on hand when the Cuckoo tries to escape. The dogs take him down and scare the living daylights out of him.
Chris has a relapse and almost dies. Pirate finds him on the floor and barks his head off to get help for Chris.
Sophie is ready to give up, maybe her ideas are useless, maybe she doesn’t have the chops. She is exhausted.
On her walk into town, she sees what looks like a pile of garbage bags moving. It’s another boy., collapsed in a heap. He is covered in bites from bed bugs at the shelter, half-starved, and delirious from dehydration. Sophie calls an ambulance.
Sophie is feeling the strain and opts to turn the farm over to the boys, with a couple of hired hands/drug counselors helping out. Sophie heads off to recover, maybe retire on a canal boat. Pirate stays behind to care for the boys. And Alfie goes home to his village with Dylan to continue the search to find his final litter mate Cocoa.
What will they get up to?
Montage of happy scenes with the boys at the farm and a final shot of a young person sleeping on the street passed out, it’s raining, he is under a shop doorway with his legs protruding into the rain. He is oblivious, people walk by. Street musicians stop singing and leave the scene. People leave the supermarket with bags of groceries.
CUT TO
Sophie is chilling on the boat deck. She looks at Colin and says “I just have to have a quick call and see if they haven’t burned the place down yet. Picks up her cell phone.
COLIN
Here we go again.
Final shot
CUT TO
Dylan’ cottage. Alfie and Dylan are looking at the computer.
Dylan
I’ve found Cocoa.
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DEV ROSS – DAY 5 – Setting Up Your Endings Powerfully
What I learned is how powerful and crucial set-ups are to maintain interest in story.
A. Build their Reputation: In Clay’s first scene with his dwindling Klan members, establish that he’s always been successful, always. Time is on their side.
B. Justification for final actions: The shimmers and changes, Clay believes, are signs from heaven that he must fix the world. He believes as soon as he kills Lincoln, the shimmers will stop.
C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions: Clay can’t find Lincoln who seems to be growing and soon matching him in power and hate. Lincoln seems one step ahead of him.
D. Discuss the actions openly: Add Clay discussing with his sister what he’s going to do.
E. Twists that take it away: Clay kills his wife. This brings into question everything he believes. He questions himself. He’ll stop. Turn himself in when Lincoln spots him. Maybe he’ll be on way to police when Lincoln spots him.
F. Alternate Hope/Fear: Hope-Hannah finally stands up to Clay. Fear-Clay kills her. Hope-Nubia gets Lincoln to doctor for tests. Fear-Lincoln throws her out of the car. Hope-Emmy thinks because she’s lost the baby her dad will take her back. Fear-He throws her out. Hope-Clay reaches for his sister’s approval. Fear-She tells him the truth, further setting him off. Hope-Lincoln seems to come to his senses before he kills Clay. Fear-Clay brings him right back to murder.
G. Create and set up emotional payoffs: Clay and Hannah over their sex life. Emmy over her baby. Clay and Elijah.
H. Suspense around the outcome: The random shimmers make the outcome a crapshoot. Lincoln appears to be changing back to his pacificist self, making it impossible for him to kill Clay. The building is collapsing. It could kill them before they kill each other.
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Day 5 – Setting Up Your Endings Powerfully – Assignment
Mike O – Powerful Setups
What I learned doing this assignment is endings are set up, they don’t just happen. You must craft them from the onset. I have always written happy endings and so I naturally set them up. Learning the other two ending types and the hybrids that you can create is awesome.
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Write the setups for your ending using these steps: Looking at your current ending, generate ideas on how you can set it up powerfully using each of these techniques. Try to come up with at least one setup for each of the techniques below.
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[1] BUILD THEIR REPUTATION = Most movies are Protagonist against Antagonist. For the final conflict to be meaningful, the reputation of both sides needs to be built up.
The protagonist (Brooklyn) opening scene with her best friend and gallery owner, Carolyn.
CAROLYN “You can bring Brian, or was it Bobby? I can’t keep up…” BROOKLYN “Turns out he’s married. I hate how men lie. People change, grow old and die. A painting —does not change its mind or leave. It does not lie, need love, or anyone’s approval.”
The antagonist (Richard) is built up by Brooklyn’s powers of observation and by the man’s own actions.
Brooklyn sees Richard FLIRT with the hostess: notes the confidence, his self-assuredness and perfect smile. Even the flakes of snow in his hair look staged. Clearly, his good looks have been opening doors for him since adolescence or earlier. Brooklyn waits until he looks to the bar to WAVE him over. There is an unsettling predatory swagger to his stride.
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[2] JUSTIFICATION FOR THE FINAL ACTIONS = There needs to be strong enough justification for us to root for the Protagonist when they take the final actions. If there isn’t, it often falls flat.
Richard cyber-stalks Brooklyn, verbally intimidates and humiliates her. He takes it a step further and vandalizes the gallery, then forges her father’s signature on a quick claim deed, when that doesn’t work, he steals the valuable paintings in the gallery then burns the place to the ground to collect on the insurance policy he updated and put in his name.
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[3] CAST DOUBT ABOUT THE SUCCESS OF THE FINAL ACTIONS = The more you cast doubt about the success of the Protagonist, the more the audience will want to see them finally accomplish it.Brooklyn doubts herself as a business woman, she cannot see herself running the gallery, she vacillates between selling and having her best friend and gallery owner in Chicago run it.
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[4] DISCUSS THE FINAL ACTIONS OPENLY = just having the characters discuss the final outcome will have us wonder. Especially, if they plan and then the plan later goes wrong.Brooklyn tells Richard she is keeping the Gallery, not selling, not leasing or renting it to him, that it is her legacy from her father. This pushes Richard to steal the valuable paintings inside the gallery, then to burn it down.
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[5] TWISTS THAT TAKE IT AWAY = Creating a shift in direction often causes us to worry & wonder about the outcome.
Brooklyn getting into an argument with Tarek, taking the rich patron up on his offer and flying back to Chicago to discuss some paintings she will do for him. It looks as if she has run-away from the relationship she started with Tarek (which is her MO . set up in the opening scene where we learn from Carolyn that Brooklyn doesn’t stay with anyone long).
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[6] ALTERNATE HOPE/FEAR = Give us hope that it can happen, then fear that it won’t happen
Tarek’s son, Brandon, texts Brooklyn that he father is in the hospital. “He’s in ICU, something inside him burst.” This news forces Brooklyn to make a decision. We, the audience, now have hope that they will get back together.. Brooklyn’s ultimatum at the hospital brings on the doubt and fear. Will Tarek decide to get back together with Beth, or will he take a chance on Brooklyn.
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[7] CREATE AND PAY OFF EMOTIONAL SETUPS = There is a complete structure for writing emotional setups and paying them off.
The whole good versus evil: Richard versus Brooklyn and the stunts Richard pulls to try and get his “way” is the main emotional set-up and his arrest the pay-off we all want to happen.
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[8] SUSPENSE AROUND THE OUTCOME = The key to suspense is to promise something, then delay the event.
Brooklyn tells Tarek when he’s in the hospital that he needs to spend Christmas eve with Beth, then Christmas morning with her before he makes a decision. She won’t be anyone’s consolation prize. I have a drawer full of consolation ribbons and runner-up plaques. My art is my life and in my life, I won’t settle for second best. Not any more.” She walks out.
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Matthew Frendo’s Powerful Setups
WHAT I LEARNED: I learned the best way to create setups that will enhance and make a powerful ending. These will make my scripts stronger and the endings a far more emotional experience for the audience.
Ending: Alicia has to face the final monster, a bioengineered version of her abusive father.
A. Build their Reputation
As it is, we hear what her father did during the interviews. I can also have her show trauma when the subject comes up, go off on someone for pushing into her past and talk to her son about what a piece of shit he was. Her reputation will be built by fighting monsters in the hunt up until that point. I can also build his reputation by making it the work of his friends and her mom to try and get her son in the hunt.
B. Justification for the final actions
Have it come out that her father was physically and sexually abusive. Show her mother being emotionally abusive and uncaring. Have her mother be the reason she is in the hunt, after doing it to protect her father’s secret.
C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions
Have Alicia go numb and frozen at mention of father. Have her crumple in interview when truth is brought out. See Alicia get beaten up bad before her father enters hunt. Have her show terror.
D. Discuss the final actions openly
Alicia’s mom talks about how Alicia’s father would kill her if he were alive. Have Alicia talk about wanting to kill him, but not being able to. Have father mock her, saying he’ll finish the job now.
E. Twists that take it away
Audience interview reveals family secrets that are super dark and change the character. Same interview and afterward cause audience to turn on Host for Alicia. Nick betrays them and puts them in greater jeopardy.
F. Alternate Hope/fear
Alicia’s alone (fear), then works with people (hope). They are winning (hope) when Nick betrays them (fear). Have Alicia go into panic attack over father mentioned (fear), then dealing with it (hope), then come on worse during final battle (fear).
G. Create and pay off emotional setups
Create heavy emotion when truth about Alicia’s dad comes out in interviews. Make emotion heavier with her kid. Enhance her fear through panic attacks and dialogue. Have her talk about suicidal thoughts due to it. Give her nightmares over it. Her, Kristen and Jocelyn talk about how they all tried suicide before and go into how they all felt alone.
H. Suspense around the outcome
Have Host promise “scariest monster she can face” before it happens. Have Alicia get beaten up bad right before father is released. Have her break down emotionally, then run when father is released, until he tries to catch her. Have her hide until he finds her.
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