Day 5: Attraction – A STAR IS BORN

[Joan Butler]

These characters are great because the audience gets to see Ally rise above her fear and sing with all her heart. The audience also watches Jack transported from ruin to hope.

Insight

An excellent actor like Bradley Cooper doesn’t need dialogue or actions to show what he’s thinking. Everything is on his face.

Attraction

shows up for Jack when we see his face as Ally sings. Her youth, her show biz innocence, and her talent, causes that attraction.

Ally’s attraction for Jack is caused by her need to nurture him. We see this as she touches his face.

This scene is built around

a woman trying out a new song and an alcoholic finding fresh talent as she sings.

Future

Ally is living as a songwriter-singer.

Jack is living as the man who has discovered a new talent.

Wound

It’s night. A woman sings her heart out to a drunken man in an empty parking lot. They appear to be strangers. There must be a wound keeping them away from their homes.

Secret

Ally keeps her song-writing secret until she stands and sings. Then she is wide open. Jack is closed but he sees a spark of hope when he hears Ally sing.

Traits

They are both lonely.

Ally is caring. Jack is needy

• This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  Joan Butler.

[Mi Lock]

These are great characters because:

– they’re at opposite stages in their career life: Jack is a famous rockstar who sings in front of thousands of people, whereas Ally is a struggling singer/ songwriter who has to sing in a small trans-bar and works at a restaurant to pay her bills BUT their common passion for music is bonding them with each other.

– Jack seems disillusioned and drinks a lot, whereas Ally is still hopeful and full of dreams, she’s full of life.

– Jack recognizes himself in the lyrics that Ally wrote and sings to him in that scene. It connects them as it seems she’s seen through him and knows how he feels, they understand each other.

– Ally sings the chorus while living into her future and Jack immediately sees that she’s a star, she’s a revelation. He says “Can I tell you a secret? I think you might be a songwriter. I’m not very good at keeping secrets.” meaning that he’s going to talk about her.

– We see the mutual interest and attraction grow with delicate gestures and looks, especially when he stares at her, mesmerized as she sings, then kisses her hand instead of kissing her on the mouth, it shows that he’s a gentleman. As for Ally, we can tell she likes him when she sings “I’m falling” while staring at him with a lot of tenderness and when she caresses his hair at the end of the scene. There’s several subtle moments like that in the scene.

– We as the audience, are curious to know how these two will get together now that the attraction is clear.

[Robert Kerr]

Bob Kerr

Attraction – A Star Is Born

First Time Viewing:

Where does the attraction show up for Ally?

Jack’s eyes, his gentle voice and his emotional vulnerability

Where does the attraction show up for JacK?

The genius of her talent and the power and fierce storytelling of her lyrics.

What is causing that attraction?

They are sharing an intensely intimate moment in a very public place. It is like they exist in a bubble that no one can penetrate except them, their words and their magnetic attraction.

Second Time Viewing:

What drams is this scene built around?

The changing reality of talent and the emerging relationship of a mentor who is destined to be more than a mentor. True love is sparked.

Profile Items:

Right character: There is a need for Ally’s talent to be discovered and Jack is in need of a spark to remind him what his original vision one for his music.

Traits:

Ally: Passionate, humorous, scared and hopeful

JACK: Searching, determined, scared and hurting

Secret:

Ally knows her songwriting is gifted, She lacks self confidence.

Jack: He is burned out and no longer relates to the music he is playing for money.

Wound:

Ally distrusts the industry but can’t deny her passion for her songwriting.

Jack: He remembers when his music was pure and powerful. Not like what he is playing now.

Future: They are destined to be a powerful duo. Her talent, his instincts, connections and magnetic pull to recreating his own rise to stardom. Falling in love will be the byproduct of that artistic intimate relationship.

Insights: the role of mentor/teacher in recognizing talent creates a powerful dynamic of overcoming the students self doubts, fear and dreams.

Breakthrough: There is an attraction scene of two minor, but key, players in my script. I have provided only a surface view of their attraction. There is great opportunity to go deeper and magnify their future has a married couple of 50 years.

What I learned: You can have an intimate moment in very public spaces. Allow your characters to speak softly, share intimate thoughts and then demonstrate the empathy and compassion with a gentle touch of the face or brushing back a stray strand of hair.

[Patrick Malone]

Week 2 Day 5: Attraction – A STAR IS BORN

1st view:

• Where do you see attraction show up for Ally?

Right off the top when she composes a song about Jack. She seems to know something deeper about him. Also, when she feels comfortable enough with him to stand and sing a song she’s been working on.

• Where do you see attraction show up for Jack?

At the beginning when he realizes that the song she just made up is about him. He is impressed. He is blown away when she stands and sings the song she was working on. He says, “I think you might be a songwriter.” Also, when he kisses her hand.

• What is causing that attraction?

Jack is attracted to her song writing talent and probably her singing voice. She is attracted to him because he is a famous star who is showing an interest in her.

2nd view:

• What drama is this scene built around?

It is built around their mutual interest and talent in music.

• What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?

right character – both musicians, song writers

traits: Ally – talented, sincere, emotional, trusting

Jack – talented, kind, receptive

wound: Ally – hurt, frustrated not having her talent fully recognized or having a proper outlet

for it.

Jack- some hidden hurt

[Lynn Vincentnathan]

Watch 1st time for:

– Where do you see attraction show up for Ally?

……. Seems when she asks about him, then makes up a song about him after his sad story, but definitely at the end when she touches his face

– Where do you see attraction show up for Jack?

……… He seems into her all along, more when she make up the song, and but definitely when she sings the song she came up with a few days earlier and he then kisses her hand

– What is causing that attraction?

……….

Watch 2nd time for:

– What drama is this scene built around?

She has hurt her hand and he is trying to fix it with frozen peas

– What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?

INSIGHTS: attraction is something inside, can be expressed by expressions, but it is something budding that ends up expressed in words and actions. It’s perhaps sudden, but it’s also a process.

———————

What makes this character great from a writing perspective

……. A famous singer/songwriter, alcoholic indicating serious inner problems and wounds, and at least portending a future self-destructive crash

…….. A shy, self-effacing/doubting gal with great talent — will she bud out or remained closed?

INSIGHTS: I really love the “will such persons with such differences fall in love and get together” suspense.

[Ann Marie]

These are great characters because they are both complex, talented and wounded people, each with a gift that alone, may come to nothing, but together could change their worlds and the greater world of music, if they allow themselves to overcome their fears. (I haven’t seen the movie so I’m going by what the scene shows me). They are ‘right characters’ that are vulnerable, one lacking in self esteem but very talented as a songwriter and singer, the other who lost his way but knows talent when he hears it. This creates a great dynamic, engaging the audience in their future relationship, both on stage and off. We are invested in their success and wish and hope they can find love and happiness in each other, as we recognise the difficulties they face – she seems vulnerable, she wants to express her emotions for him but is afraid of being hurt. He is jaded, yet he is hearing a voice that speaks to his soul. She can read him and he recognises her huge talent.

Jack’s wound, he is lost, alone, empty, searching for something in life that he needs but doesn’t know what it is – he tries to fill this empty void, but it just will not fill.

Ally – she lacks confidence, an inability to take a compliment (dismissing it by referring to the peas), she is vulnerable, possibly hurt before in love as she tentatively tells Jack she is falling.

Insight – to create attraction between two characters, it is very rewarding if each character has a trait or need that compliments / can fulfil the other. If their living into the future moments can be created by fulfilling/overcoming their fears, it creates an engaging and very satisfying love interest for the audience.

[Donna Stockwell]

· Where do you see attraction show up for Ally?
– Ally knows Jack’s reputation and status in the music industry, and very flattered he would pay attention to her. The attraction is constant in every moment, every glance, every action of the scene (and the whole movie for that matter)
· Where do you see attraction show up for Jack?
– Jack was delighted to hear a fresh, new voice in the bar, and since he has no life to speak of, he thought he’d be amused by her for an evening, but totally blown away at her songwriting skills, and her charisma, and her attention to him.
· What is causing that attraction?
– mutual respect for music and their contribution (past, present and future) to music

· What drama is this scene built around?
– She is trying to impress him long enough to stay and care about her and her career
· What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
Right character – both are very talented… can sing and write songs and have lots of charisma
Traits – Ally – young, naive, energetic, songwriter, singer, enamoured by musicians who made it
Jack – older, songwriter, singer, made it in the business, clobbered by the business, forgot himself, buries himself in alcohol to fill the emptiness
Secret – Ally doesn’t know how to make it big in the industry, Jack is close to being a washout
Wound – both are lonely and untrusting people
Future – they both can see how the other can help each other in the future (both near future and long term)

What I learned rewriting my character is to use another character to enlighten each other with traits that they are missing, to move the story and the individual character’s journeys forward.