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Day 6 Assignment
Reply to post your assignment.
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12 Replies
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Elizabeth’s Settings That Add Drama
What I learned: to keep my Pro-Series lectures handy. Great prompting questions elevate…
BEFORE:
1. Setting: dilapidated church
Essence of Scene: Grace and Mike finally get hitched
AFTER:
Wedding in graveyard adjoining dilapidated church
How has this improved: Playing on many levels: Ed, who practically lived at Susan’s grave in Act 1 learns to bring deceased-Susan into his living life. Grace-who’s terrified Mike will leave her if she marries him gets comfortable with the ultimate way he might do this so she can marry him anyway. Also, Grace always wanted a big wedding, but has a small, troubled family. When flooding in the church forced them outside, neighbors who had been curiously watching get invited by Ed and Jewels to help set up and join for the ceremony. Now It’s a full “house” of the living, young and old (nursing home friends) and young and old deceased.
BEFORE:
2. Setting: Climax – Church park swings
Essence of Scene- Grace realizes she can and should enjoy the people she has now and deal with the future when it comes.
AFTER: Park near the church
How has this improved: Grace’s greatest fear is being alone when her feelings feel overwhelming. If she and Ed are alone talking —and then the wedding guests (with retirement home friends center stage) all emerge at the top of a hill like in Witness, Ed’s line about “you can always find new friends” has more visual impact—especially since Ed previously kept a distance from his new nursing home friends and now is more connected to them. It’s also a de-sensitizing moment: Grace has visualized being very alone – and then survived it which can parallel the following desensitizing moment for Ed. Ed’s greatest fear is that when he lets himself play, bad things happen. If he gets jettisoned off a swirling play structure and not only survives but belly laughs as he hasn’t in years, he’s in a more playful space when Pat and Jewels tell him to play the music next scene.
BEFORE:
3. Setting: Linda’s house
Essence of Scene- Set up for the reveal that Ed feels guilty about having had sex before marriage and that he might be Mark’s dad from ‘heavy petting.’
AFTER: Strip show for Mike’s bachelor party
How has this improved: way more room to see Ed’s discomfort with sex and more entertaining. Could drop in lines about petting as set up.
BEFORE:
4. Setting: weight room, second time
Essence of Scene – second ritual workout for Ed in which we see more overt avoidance of eligible women, and Grace also pursuing Ed no matter where he goes, trying to develop a relationship
AFTER: Have Ed run from the women in the work out room to the Pool
How has this improved: visual variety. Also, as Grace keeps talking and talking, Ed can dive in the pool and find peace submerged. Others dive in to rescue him when he stays down so long.
BEFORE:
5. Don ‘s Room
Essence of Scene: Don encourages Ed to go to Grace’s wedding shower
AFTER: Have Ed and Don start this convo in the dining room and evade some eligible women by retreating to the roof.
How has this improved: not sold on this but playing with the “moving up” motif and it adds movement and variety. Could have Don offer some spiked punch from the dining room, playing off Mike’s laced weed. And the wedding-related Hangover
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Amy’s Amazing Setting
What I learned doing this assignment is that most of my settings are useful but not amazing. Some scenes I felt were not really amazing, but I couldn’t see them taking place anywhere else.
BEFORE:
Essence of Scene: Chloe confides in Andrea about her bully. Andrea gives her advice that’s not really helpful.
Setting: Andrea’s home
AFTER:
New Setting: Ice cream shop
How this has improved the scene: I imagine this is one of those ice cream places that gives you outrageously large servings and all kinds of wild topping choices. The ice cream could be a focal point of their conversation at first.
BEFORE:
Essence of Scene: Josh informs Andrea that he’s hired a nanny. Her name is Meagan, the TA from the university. Josh and Andrea get into a fight.
Setting: Andrea’s home
AFTER:
New Setting: Airplane
How this has improved the scene: Andrea is doing a story on parachuting. She asks Josh to come along for moral support. He chooses this moment to tell her that he hired a nanny. She pushes him out of the plane. (His parachute opens, of course.)
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While the climbing pitches increase jeopardy in my first novel, Climb and Punishment, the last novel takes place in NYC, New Paltz, and the boats. I was going to set my Last Supper in Ibrahim’s Tudor Tower overlooking Ft. Washington Park, but by putting it on his yacht, with the science lab below deck, and giving Betty the boat expertise that Jake and Litonya lack, I can up the stakes and protract the pain once they are poisoned. Ibrahim can fake death and rise again to fight with Jake until he is killed by Litonya, and Betty can pretend to lead them to the drugs as she is slowly dying and then do something to capsize the boat or lock them in the lab so they can’t get out. There may have been a sedative in the dinner but not the fast acting poison she claimed was there. Jake and LItonya are now free to take the Brain Buffet they desperately wanted but they can’t get out. But then I must find a way for them to get out and kill Betty so that she dies by the end of this chapter. This would change her transformation because she has made everyone believe she would sacrifice her life for the greater good. I must research boats and figure out how all this can evolve in the novel and then redo the climax. I don’t want to end like Silence of the Lambs with Betty on a Caribbean cruise but that may be the only way to get rid of her and have the good guys keep the Brightspace Brain Buffet. The fact that this exercise is making me question the resolution is good because I tend to be too expository, dogmatic, and tie things up too quickly and neatly instead of putting the audience on the edge of their seats.
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Rob Bertrand’s Amazing Setting
What I learned: I learned that you can reimagine the essence of a scene by providing a more interesting backdrop/setting.
BEFORE:
Essence of Scene: Annie overhears her father tell someone that Nora would still be alive if he hadn’t let Annie drive.
Setting: Andrew’s house – Funeral Reception
AFTER:
New Setting: Funeral home. I feel like it will add more drama if this scene actually takes place at the funeral home. Due to the severity of the car accident, it will be a closed casket service, which will add some more drama.
BEFORE:
Essence of Scene: Annie, Jocelyn and Jessica walk home from school and decide to do a séance to make contact with the spirit of the house.
Setting: Ext. Neighborhood – day
AFTER:
New Setting: Coffee Shop. The popular hangout after school. It will be nice to see Annie hangout someplace other than her home and it would make sense to set it at a coffee shop. This also gives another opportunity to have Danny show up. Or maybe lurking in the background.
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Budinscak Amazing Settings
Day 6
What I learned doing this assignment:
o Tough to think outside the box on some scenes when it’s a road trip movie, but I believe I’ve easily upgraded a couple of scenes.
o Like real estate – location, location, location.
o Easier to get your point across in the right setting.
SCENE 1:
BEFORE:
Essence of Scene:
Time to make amends. Jack was particularly rough on his nephews and lost sight of their age. He extends an olive branch to Sal and Puck
Setting:
On the road in the Cadillac.
AFTER:
New Setting:
At a rest stop, Jack notices a river. He asks the boys if they’d like to go swimming – and they do. They change in their swim trunks and make their way to the water. Once there, they find fresh snake skins where the snakes have molted and poison ivy. Jack buys poison ivy medicine at the rest stop convenience store.
How this improved the scene:
It brings a large increase in conflict, puts everyone in danger, poison ivy – gives them something they’ll have to deal with. It elevates everything.
SCENE 2:
BEFORE:
Essence of Scene:
With a lengthy buildup about the magic of Las Vegas, Jack and the boys enter the city. After great anticipation, it’s time for rest.
Setting:
Jack originally pulls in a large parking lot, goes to the back and parks facing the entrance
New Setting:
Jack pulls his dusty, dirty Cadillac into a tony neighborhood in Las Vegas and parks for some shut-eye. He constantly has to move and stay one step in front of the local crimestoppers units, neighborhood security and the tail he picked up a day ago.
How this improved the scene:
More conflict, better opportunity to work in suspense and comedy.
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Armand’s Amazing Setting
What I learned… In short, the introductory scene should highlight the core character traits and the best setting to bring them out. The climatic scene should be set around the main character’s fear.
FOR AN INTRODUCTORY SCENE:
1. What are the most important traits of this character?
2. What setting would naturally draw out and demonstrate those traits?
TO MAKE A SCENE UNIQUE:
1. What is the main thing happening in this scene?
2. What setting would that never happen in, but with a little creativity, it could occur?
FOR THE CLIMATIC SCENE:
1. What is the protagonist most afraid of?
2. What is the primary strength of the antagonist?
3. What setting will exploit the fear of the protagonist and fit the primary strength of the antagonist?
BEFORE #1:
Essence of Scene: Introduce Tyler, a rich college jerk, spending the weekend at his family’s summer manor in the woods. (He’s eventually getting killed and turned into a ghost).
Setting: Father’s Office/Studio
AFTER:
New Setting: Father’s “Rec Room” which includes hunting trophies on the walls, a gun collection and bar.
How this has improved the scene: Tyler is arrogant and selfish, which can come through as he plays with the different “toys” in this opening scene. At the same time, it allows some of his cowardice to come when he might feel in real danger. Set up/payoff the weapons that will be used for the slasher element of the film.
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PS 80 Michelle Damis Amazing Settings
What I learned doing this assignment was another angle you can talk into your creativity, although I must play devil’s advocate when it comes to the film actually being produced. As a writer you can have all the vision you want, but you also have to be realistic to the logistics of shooting as well as budget. For example, I’d like a paddle boarding scene. But I could end up not having a water location, an actress that’s afraid of the water and no budget for a stunt double etc… These logistics can also play in your favor, you could end up finding a unique , surprise location that works for a scene that you had not imagined that you discover on a location scout etc… So I feel like yes, you should be creative and thoughtful, but also realistic and flexible.
BEFORE:
Essence of Scene: Learning more about the life of the Vampire.
Setting: Old abandoned Building with great architecture (he appreciates the art and the skill)
AFTER:
NEW Setting: The abandoned building is an old church with great architecture.
This improves the scene because it contributes to vampire lore and the fact I’m turning the narrative on its head a bit. How can a Vampire be on hallowed ground? Also it adds irony. (I was previously having his building torn down, but I may change it to something different, like it will be a new brewery, which adds to the narrative of holy ground and churches in general)
BEFORE
Essence of Scene: Reveal to Nina that they are Vampires
Setting: Just a dark, private area with trees (nothing special)
AFTER
New Setting: something that provides more vampire irony
This has improved the scene by
BEFORE
Essence of Scene: Learn about Marins secret and feelings while with her sister
Setting: On a walk
AFTER
New Setting: Paddleboarding
This has improved the scene by being more unique. Too many times we see the walk in the park, the tennis match, the handball talk etc….
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Jodi’s Amazing Setting – Day 6
By placing your characters in great scenes it can be used to set a mood, add mystery, show something about your character, create a contrast. It can improve your overall script.
1.
BEFORE:
Essence of scene: In the throws of passion with her friend CARLOS RIOS, Veronica stops abruptly and asks him to put a condom on. She naively believes him when he says he’s sterile.
Setting: INT. VERONICA BERNAL’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
AFTER:
New setting: INT. CONCERT ARENA – NIGHT
How this improved the scene: Veronica and Carlos are having sex at a concert. They’re aroused by knowing that someone might see them, which heightens their pleasure. It adds an element of danger if they get caught in the concert hall, as opposed to the privacy of Veronica’s bedroom where I originally placed this scene. It is also a play on danger for Veronica if she gets pregnant when she throws caution to the wind at the concert.
2.
BEFORE:
Essence of scene: Pam’s very conservative and pro-life parents are shocked at the news that she is running for office, they tell Pam she is a traitor to run against their beloved Governor for what they believe is an sinful and amoral cause. Pam eats cake that’s on the table.
Setting: INT. WELLE’S HOME – DAY
AFTER:
New setting: INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
How this improved the scene: With Pam’s Parents being infuriated and Pam defending herself, it becomes a passionate and heated argument. Pam’s Mother is very quiet and does not like a scene. Pam’s Father always has to be mindful of his image, as he is a local Pastor. This intense conversation is constantly being interrupted by situations, such as servers that usually come around to the table at the wrong time breaking conversation and train of thought, kids running down the aisles and a baby screaming behind them. That lends to more stress and anxiety building on the already highly emotional conversation. Pam, who stress eats, orders a whole cake, not just a slice.
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Janeen’s Amazing Setting
What I learned doing this assignment was that setting can easily convey ownership — who’s naturally in the powerful position — in a setting. Who’s world are we in? Who’s naturally the master here? I can use that a lot in my scenes.
BEFORE: <div>
Essence of Scene: Daniel berates and slaps around Amber for trying to escape from him and steal his kids while not keeping their private matters private. Says his reputation will suffer because of her and she would have nothing without him. She whimpers.
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Setting: Generic large home.
AFTER:
New Setting: A beautiful conservatory filled with windows and fragile things. Outside the multitude of windows is a very private yard and beautiful wall separating it from the rest of the world.
How has this improved the scene? It shows that Daniel is master of his environment and unafraid of having anyone see that he is master. He has the privacy and power to do whatever he wants to his wife openly and blatantly (at least within her world — her home).
2. BEFORE:
1. Essence of Scene: Morgan eagerly commits to helping women with Waterman and decides Amber needs to empower herself to leave Daniel so she puts her copy of Waterman in her purse. It will strengthen Amber’s self-confidence and help her feel she is capable of leaving Daniel.
2. Setting: Morgan’s home office.
AFTER:
New Setting: A corner of an elaborately, expensively, classically, masculine living room with dark bookcases, dark furniture, rich textures, etc. She is seated at a small secretary in a well-lit corner of the room.
How has this improved the scene? Again, the setting shows who “owns” the home. In this case, it is Morgan’s very successful writer-husband. The home is/was his before she became his trophy wife and her needs have been sandwiched into his existing home. She’s “window dressing” in this room, his study.
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Emmanuel’s Amazing Setting
What I learned doing this assignment is scene settings often times tell the story without much action or dialogue. It’s important to analyze each scene’s slugline and action to capture the best setting.
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PS80 DAY 6 BOB SMITHS AMAZING SETTINGS
What I learned doing this assignment was…?
Always question the original setting you envisioned for the scene.
Here is the outline of my screenplay, “Moths Around a Flame: The Making of ‘The Blue Angel’” with ratings of settings.
Scene 1
EXT. US ARMY HEADQUARTERS BERLIN –DAY
Rating 10. The setting is amazing because it and the entrance of Emil Jannings are as they were with Jannings waving an Oscar pleading to the guards, “Don’t shoot! I won an Oscar!”
Scene 2.
INT. US ARMY HEADQUARTERS BERLIN –DAY
Rating: 8. It is amazing and useful as something like this must have happened and there is an air of interrogation raising the moral issue of why did Jannings cooperate with the Nazis propaganda film industry.
Office of Maj. Kent Kershaw who interrogates Jannings as to whether or not he needs to be de-nazified. Crucial question: Why did he perform in Nazi Propaganda films?
Scene 3
INT. STUDIO SET OF “THE BLUE ANGEL” –
Rating: 5. Useful and functional and logical setting: Dietrich invites the director and leading actors of he movie to a night on the town.
Scene 4
INT. SABRI MAHIR’S BOXING STUDIO (GYM) – NIGHT
Rating: 7. The boxing gym is where Dietrich will lose weight as director Sternberg has ordered. She has already taken up intensive boxing exercise. The boxing setting also is backdrop for the budding feud between Emil Jannings and Marlene Dietrich.
Scene 5
INT. THE CLUB SILHOUETTE – NIGHT
Rating 10. This is the gay cabaret frequented by Show Business people. The entertainment inside the club is contrasted with the attack upon the club’s exterior by Nazi Brown Shirts which precipitates the ‘crucible question’ – will we have to cooperate with the Nazis in order to survive under their rule.
Scene 6
INT. THE VON STERNBERG APARTMENT – NIGHT.
Rating: 7. This scene happened in the von Sternberg apartment. The apartment is the location where the exchange occurs between Von Sternberg and his wife, actress Riza Royce, who asks him why he doesn’t divorce her and marry Dietrich. Von Sternberg answers, “I’d sooner share a phone booth with a cobra”! The home setting accentuates the disruption to marital tranquility in the von Sternberg home.
Scene 7
INT. THE GREAT SYNAGOGUE OF BERLIN – DAY
Rating 8. Originally only in an office I have elevated the scene to the interior of a synagogue to have all the trimmings of Jewish religious authority surrounding Kurt Gerron and Rabbi Joachim Prinz as they discusss the crucible question: Is it permissible to cooperate with an enemy when the purpose is to save your own life and the lives of others?
Scene 8
INT. THE SCREENING ROOM – DAY
Rating 5: The scene includes reenactments of scenes from “The Blue Angel” and mixed reactions by Emil Jannings and Heinrich Mann, the author of the novel on which “The Blue Angel” is based. Mann complains to Emil Jannings that von Sternberg has taken his novel and turned it into a pornographic film because all that dominates the movie, he says, are “Miss Dietrich’s naked thighs. And you can tell that to Mr. von Sternberg for me.” This is exactly what Jannings does in the next scene.
Scene 9
INT. STUDIO SET OF ‘THE BLUE ANGEL” – DAY
Rating 5: The setting is logical. Jannings tells von Sternberg what Heinrich Mann said but von Sternberg is unfazed. Yet, Jannings believes that von Sternberg has not only allowed Dietrich’s domination of the film but also domination of his time and attention. Von Sternberg defends himself by saying that Dietrich is the novice and needs attention but that it would be good for Jannings, as the star of the film to give her more support.
Jannings is still not satisfied and complains to Gerron and Albers. They try to reassure Jannings, but to no avail. Gerron meanwhile explains to Albers and Jannings that Rabbi Prinz said it is morally permissible to cooperate with Nazis in order to save lives as long as no other lives are taken as a result.
Scene 11
INT. STUDIO SET OF THE BLUE ANGEL” – DAY
Rating 5. It is the filming of the strangulation scene and can occur no where else but on
that set. What happens is Jannings really hurts Dietrich. This prompts von Sternberg to speak
with both actors to form a partnership to make this a work of art.
Scene 12
INT. STUDIO SE OF “THE BLUE ANGEL” – DAY
Rating 9: The only place this scene could occur for the reenactment of Dietrich’s classic “Falling in Love Again” and Jannings’ scene of the Professor’s death in ruin. Dietrich and Jannings support each other, The benefit of this setting is that the audience will see the many people off-camera who react to the brilliant acting and are supportive of them both.
Scene 13
INT. STUDIO OFFICE OF ALFRED HUGENBERG – DAY.
Rating 9: Studio Chief Hugenberg is a Nazi supporter. Jannings leaves the wrap party to ask him about future work. The setting mirrors the opening interrogation of Jannings by Major Kershaw. Hugenberg advises Jannings to make films for the Nazis.
Scene 14
INT. KERSHAW’S OFFICE – DAY (as in second scene).
Rathing 10: Perfect setting (like a courtroom) for Jannings’ apologia and the damning
evidence of Kershaw that Jannings was more than someone trying to survive, but was pro-Nazi
and would have to be de-nazified – a crushing blow to Jannings as de-nazification will result in the end of his theatrical career.
TWO EXAMPLES THAT SHOW THE BIGEEST IMPROVEMENT IN THE SETTING:
Scene 7
INT. THE GREAT SYNAGOGUE OF BERLIN – DAY
The crucible question on cooperation with the Nazis for self preservation.
BEFORE:
The essence of the Scene: The crucible question, “Is it permissible under Jewish law to cooperate with the Nazis in order to save one’s own life and the lives of loved ones?” and the answer of Rabbi Prinz.
The Setting: Originally the Rabbi’s study on any day.
AFTER:
New setting: The synagogue.
How this has improved he scene: The sacred space enhances the dignity of the crucible question and the Rabbi’s reply. The drama is heightened by the stirring sounds of Hebrew hymnody and the surrounding symbols of Jewish religion and law. The new setting in the Synagogue rather than an office, enhances the scene essence.
Scene 8
INT. THE SCREENING ROOM – DAY
BEFORE:
Essence of the Scene: Mann is offended by the film based on his novel and Jannings takes his side.
Setting: Originally, set in the hall outside which did nothing for the drama being intensified.
AFTER:
New setting: The screening room.
How this has improved the scene: The actual setting of a motion picture screening is a whole new world to Heinrich Mann, an author. The flickering images to which Mann and Jannings react are actually seen and commented upon by the two men.
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Pablo’s Amazing Settings
What I learned: I just realized how little I think about setting. A small change can immediately improve a scene. I wouldn’t rate my changes any higher than a 5 but I do think this already helped quite a bit.
BEFORE:
Essence of the scene: Sapo offers “help” to Irma and her family after his crew accidentally murders Ricardo, her husband. Sapo attempts to intimidate her when he declines the offer.
Setting: Outside Elena’s house, midnight.
AFTER:
New Setting: Sapo’s luxury SUV OR Sapo’s office at the casino.
How has this improved the scene: By revealing Sapo’s amenities, it puts him at a position of power. Showing the disparity of his and Irma’s lifestyle shows how down-and-out she truly is.
BEFORE:
Essence of the scene: Irma and her two sons must hide from drones that pursue them.
Setting: Chihuahua Desert
AFTER:
New Setting: Ghost town in Guadalupe, Chihuahua. Near the border.
How has this improved the scene: Easier for the protagonists to hide. Abandoned homes and cracked roads; an old, decaying town with no running power would make chase scenes much more dramatic.
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