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Day 6 Assignments
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10 Replies
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Sherri D. Coffee – Transformational Structure
What I learned doing this assignment was to map out the characters journey using the MMM.
1. Transformational Logline: A naive idealistic recent law graduate joins a prestigious lobby firm to “change the world”. She finds a firm resistant to change, and a political system closed to outsiders. To survive, she must develop the necessary skills to influence not only her firm but also the political environment they influence.
2. Change Agent: Kathryn Moore (desire for change) and
Ford Smith (forced change) Kathryn’s boss.
Transformational Characters: the firm, the politicians, Ford Smith.
3. Mini-Movie Structure
MM1: Status Quo and Call to Adventure
Kathryn graduates and accepts a position at a prestigious lobby firm. She begins her job with high hopes to “change the world” but her first day is full of appointments to meet each member of the firm. Ford, her boss gives her a first assignment: build a coalition to influence women’s health legislation.
Emotional gradient: Excitement
MM2: Locked into Conflict
Kathryn begins to call potential members to build a coalition and schedules an advocacy meeting. At the meeting, it is evident that the advocates have competing interests. Ford attends and has serious doubts about Kathryn’s ability to succeed.
Emotional gradient: Doubt
MM3: Hero tries to solve problem – but fails
Kathryn tries to contact additional advocates to add to her network. Can they agree to focus on a piece of legislation? She still cannot find a group to support the legislation.
Emotional gradient: Discouragement
MM4: Hero forms new plan
Kathryn starts over with her one advocate who is willing to support the legislation. Together they reach out far and wide to gain support. Ford is losing patience. He informs Kathryn that she has 30 days before the session starts and he expects to have coalition support.
Emotional gradient: Hope
MM5: Hero retreats and the antagonism prevails.
Kathryn does not have a cohesive coalition and she if running out of time and ideas. She reaches out to another lobbyist in the firm for help and is betrayed. Ford is furious that she cannot form a coalition.
Emotional gradient: Discouragement
MM6: Hero’s bigger, better plan
Kathryn looks back at her options. She realizes that she has been trying to build a coalition the old-fashioned way. Social media is the new way! She contacts her advocate, and they embark upon a social media campaign. By the end of the week, they have over 100 organizations to support the legislation!
Emotional gradient: Hope
MM7: Crisis and Climax
Kathryn walks into Fords office and presents her new coalition and the social media tools used to form. Ford is furious! Why in the world would you use social media? Don’t you know these things are handled behind the scenes? The legislation will be heard in the first committee at the end of the week. She had better have people, real people, not email people, there to testify or she is fired. Kathryn desperately reaches out to her coalition members to appear in person.
Emotional gradient: Courage
MM8: New Status Quo
Kathryn and Ford walk into the committee room. Over 50 advocates have signed up to testify for the legislation. Ford listens to each testimony with doubt. The committee passes the bill and he turns to shake Kathryn’s hand. This social media stuff is real effective. Maybe we can do this again. Kathryn meets her coalition members outside and they want to know….what’s next?
Emotional gradient: Triumph
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Laura Hyler’s Transformational Structure
Assignment 6
Log Line: A naïve widow must learn how to handle racism, or risk losing the love of her life.
What I learned doing this assignment is, that organizing your thoughts this way, really makes the progression much clearer. I know where I am going, and how I am going to get there.
MM #1
Hero’s Status Quo, ordinary world ends (pgs. 1-15)
Naomi, widow, 38 (Caucasian), has recently split from a man, Greg (Caucasian), late thirties, who she has been dating for ten years. She has two teenage children. Her employer, a charity decides to hold a dinner date “auction.” Her friend and coworker, Jeanine throws her name and another coworker’s name in the pool of potential “dates.
Tommy, a guy who has reputation, and Naomi detests, puts in a bid for a dinner date with her.
Kofi, a medical doctor, who recognizes Naomi from an incident in a bar, puts in his bid and outbids Tommy.
Hope: Naomi decides to go along with the dinner date fundraiser despite her reticence.
Challenge: Naomi is still angry at Greg. She finds herself missing her deceased husband, especially when other relationships fail.
Weakness: Fear of the unknown
MM # 2 (pgs. 15-30)
Turning Point: Call to Adventure
Naomi runs into Tommy at the dinner, and also, Cal, her good friend (Letitia’s) brother. Tommy makes and embarrassing comment to Kofi. Cal makes a snide remark to Naomi. She and Kofi have an enjoyable evening.
Kofi asks Naomi for a “real date.” Naomi accepts.
Excitement: Meeting a new person and having a good time despite her doubts.
Doubt: trying to learn ways of coping with people’s opinions, prejudices
MM # 3 (pgs. 30-45)
Turning Point: Locked In
Naomi and Kofi go out to dinner. They discover that they have more in common than they thought.
A week later, they go on a hiking date. During the hike, Naomi overhears a conversation between other hikers. Subconsciously, she knows that comments made were directed at her and Kofi. Kofi pretends not to have heard.
Greg calls Naomi and asks her to lunch. She reluctantly agrees. Greg tries to get Naomi back. He makes biased comments and Naomi leaves.
Discouragement: Naomi would like to keep seeing Kofi, but she unsure how to handle people around her.
MM # 4 (pgs. 45-60)
Turning Point: Standard Ways Fail
Kofi receives invitation to his friend, Isaac’s wedding. Naomi is not included. Kofi says nothing to Naomi and attends the wedding.
Naomi and Kofi attend a concert with Letitia. Naomi notices the reaction of a couple of white guys when they realize Kofi is her date.
When Kofi’s apartment catches fire, Naomi offers him the guestroom.
Naomi receives a wedding invitation from her sister. Kofi is not included. Naomi does not know how to handle it. She confronts her sister, and declines being the Maid of Honor. Her sister advises her that she will not be able to ride in the limousine with her children to the wedding.
Letitia and Cal have an unpleasant conversation with Naomi about why she shouldn’t date a black man.
Tommy is promoted to a position in Naomi’s organization that she was well qualified for.
Discouragement: Naomi’s non-confrontational style is becoming a problem. She feels deflated.
MM # 5 (pgs. 60-75)
Turning Point: Plan backfires
En route to her sister’s wedding, Naomi gets a flat tire.
She meets an older man, Richard, who helps her with the tire. In the brief time she knows him, he serves as a mentor.
Kofi gets off work early and shows up at Charlie (Naomi’s sister’s) wedding. Kofi overhears a conversation between town wedding guests and becomes angry. Naomi asks him what is wrong, and he tells her that he is angry that she did not tell him that he was not invited. He leaves abruptly.
Doubt: Naomi fears losing the relationship
Discouragement: the culmination of friend’s, family and society’s opinions
MM # 6 (pgs. 75-90)
Turning Point: The Decision to Change
Naomi returns home to find no trace of Kofi. Over the next two weeks, she tries to make contact. Out of desperation, she goes to Kofi’s office. She is told that he is off that day.
She bumps into Isaac, who tells her that their employer screwed up Kofi’s HB-1 renewal paperwork, and that he is going to be deported.
Naomi goes to immigration and asks if there is anything she could do to prevent Kofi’s deportation. A clerk advises her that she can act as a sponsor until the employer, County Medical, gets their paperwork in.
Doubt: Naomi doesn’t know if she will stop Kofi in time, or if she will ever see him again.
Courage: Naomi decides to prevent the deportation and find Kofi.
MM # 7
Turning Point: The ultimate failure (pgs. 90-105)
Naomi gets stuck in traffic going to the airport. There is an accident and construction. Cars are backed up for miles. Naomi calls Isaac on her cell phone. She pleads with Isaac to call immigration and stop Kofi from leaving.
Naomi finally arrives at the airport. She bargains with security to let her get through the gates.
She runs through the airport. She arrives at the terminal just in time to see the plane take off.
Doubt: Naomi fears never seeing Kofi again. She experiences despair.
MM # 8
Turning Point: Apparent Victory (pgs. 105-120)
Naomi hears a familiar voice behind her. It is Kofi. Immigration stopped his departure just in time.
Naomi is empowered to stand up to her friends, family, coworkers and boss. She now puts people in their place (appropriately).
Some people have come forward to apologize for their own attitudes and behavior.
Turning Point: New Status quo
Naomi and Kofi get married. Their lives settle down.
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Brenda’s Transformational Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is I have a basic structure down that I think make sense, and now I have to fill in the details. The Mini Movie method forced me to review my story to make sure that it fit into a structure that was entertaining, and I was able to add more details. Still not sure if this is the final structure for the story, but I like what I’ve gotten so far.
1. Transformational Journey Logline: A depressed and lonely dying child begs his professional treasure hunter mother to take her on a treasure hunt, and they both discover that treasure and love can be found even in a hospital.
2. The Change Agent is the mother. The Transformable Character is the child. The Emotional Gradient is Desired change – the mother character wants to take her child’s request for a treasure hunt and use it so she can help the child rediscover happiness so they can face death together as a family.
3. MM #1 – Status Quo and Call to Adventure
The child is in the hospital, it’s an ordinary day with medical tests and playing with other children in the hospital. The mother receives a call from the hospital and the tests show the child’s condition is worsening. The mother flies home to visit the child and the child begs the mother to take her on a treasure hunt. The mother meets with the hospital staff about the child’s request. The mother tells the child they are going on a treasure hunt in the hospital.
The Emotion is Excitement for the child, the transformable character.
The Change Agent is the mother.
The old ways is the child is depressed and lonely.
The Vision is the child will be happy and not feel alone.
Challenge: The treasure hunt has to take place in the hospital
Weakness: the child is too sick to travel but doesn’t know it.
MM #2 – Locked into Conflict
The child is upset by not being able to leave the hospital, throws a fit, and experiences a health downturn. The child recovers. The mother tells the child that while she was ill, the hospital staff helped her to create the treasure hunt. The child at first resists but decides to participate since the staff and her mother spent so much time on it.
The Emotion is Doubt.
Old ways: Being sick and distrustful of the mother.
Challenge: The child thinks her mother is too embarrassed by her:
Weakness: the child believes her illness has made her mother not love her and that’s why she’s been away a lot.
MM #3 – Hero tries to solve the problem but fail.
The treasure hunt her mother devised feels like a real hunt, and the whole hospital is involved. The child starts to respond more positively with her mother. The child asks her mother if they’ll leave the hospital at some point, and the mother doesn’t respond, and the child shuts down again.
The Emotion is hope.
New ways- the child appears happy and less morose, and gets along better with her mother.
Challenge: the child still thinks that they will leave the hospital at some point in the treasure hunt
Weakness: the child still believes that she will be well enough to leave the hospital
MM #4 – Hero forms a new plan. Turning Point: Plan backfires.
The child decides to be more open to the treasure hunt after discussion with her mother. The child asks if her uncle can participate. The mother calls her brother and tells him what’s going on. The brother shows up and the child is pleased. They find the first treasure and the mother decides to have a party. The mother and her brother argue about telling the child the truth about her condition, and the mother refuses. The nurse makes disparaging comments about the treasure hunt and tells the child she’ll never leave the hospital.
The Emotion is Discouragement.
Challenge: the child begins to doubt that treasure can be found in a hospital and she’ll never leave there
Weakness: the child feels depression coming on and feelings of not being worth anything.
MM #5 – Hero Retreats and Turning Point: The decision to change.
The child reaches out to her uncle and has a talk with her doctor and other staff. After these discussion the child decides to keep going with the treasure hunt with an open mind and to figure out what her mother wanted her to experience. The child tells the nurse that she’ll leave the hospital one day soon.
The emotion is courage.
Challenge: doing the treasure hunt with an open mind so she can spend as much time with her mother as possible Weakness – the child begins to think that she will get better and conquer her illness
MM #6 – The hero’s bigger, better plan and Turning Point: The ultimate failure.
The child fully participates in the treasure hunt her mother created and discovers there are real treasures in the hospital after all. The child realizes she is not getting better and starts to feel weaker every day. She wonders if there is something her mother isn’t telling her.
Challenge: Keeps enthusiasm up and ignores her body.
Weakness: Feeling tired from the treasure hunt.
MM #7 – Crisis and Climax and Turning Point: Apparent victory.
The child asks the mother to tell her the truth, and talks about what she’s been experiencing health-wise. In the middle of this discussion, the child experiences a relapse and is unconscious for a day. The child recovers and She and her mother have a heart to heart chat with what’s really going on with her health. The child realizes that she wants to spend the rest of her trying to find the treasure and happiness every day.
The emotion is Triumph.
Challenge: The child realizes they might be sicker than they thought
Weakness: Relapse from the illness
MM #8 – New Status Quo
The child and her mother create another treasure hunt for the other children in the hospital. The child is happier and is bonding more with the other sick children. The mother gives her child a diary so she can record all the good things she is experiencing. The mother and child are closer than ever.
Montage of the child’s life after this experience. The child is able to go to school. She volunteers at the hospital where she was staying and creates treasure hunts for the children when she is in high school. The child writes a book about her treasure hunt experience with her mother. The child goes on a book signing tour. The child wins an inspiration award. Final scene – funeral for the child who lived much longer than anyone expected and was an inspiration to many sick children around the world.
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Sherwen Moore – Assignment 6
I learned from this assignment that an emotional Gradient can happen to you while doing this. For the first time I felt doubt about if I am doing this correctly. Did I understand the directions? I thought I could focus on any major character I wanted. A little confused but this is my story.Today, your assignment will be to do these four steps:
1. Pick the primary character we will go on the journey with. It may be the Change Agent (Gandhi) or the Transformational Character (Groundhog Day and The Matrix).
My primary character to go on the journey with is the rookie policeman named Mark Schilling.
2. Send them on the Transformational Journey (represented by your Transformational Logline) as you build your STRUCTURE of this story.A former agent quits the Agency to become a community activist but finds out he is still needed in law enforcement. A dinner engagement inadvertently entangles him with a rookie policeman in an intricate case that includes a hostage situation.
My Change Agent is Mark Schilling, (desired change) a rookie policeman in his mid-20s.
Transformational characters; Alphonso Allen , Mark’s father, Tyrone, and Tom McMillian
Mini Movie 1
Status Quo and Call to Adventure
The year is 2010. Fresh out of the police academy Mark’s vision was to be a great policeman that helps keep the community safe. We start with his wife, family and friends at the graduation. The speeches are great and everyone in attendance is proud the cadets are now policemen.
Emotional Gradient: Excitement
Mini Movie 2
Locked Into Conflict
Mark has no experience but his partner is a seasoned veteran named Tom McMillian. Mark is assigned to work with Tom who makes no bones about being proud of his white heritage and uses his badge to do as he pleases in the black community. Mark listens and observes what policing can be it like as Tom gives his philosophy and interacts with the community.
Emotional Gradient: Doubt
Mini Movie 3 Hero Tries to Solve the Problem
Tom offers Mark a chance to make extra money. Mark is skeptical, but agrees. Tom gets money from doctors to sell medicinal marijuana. Tom introduces Mark to Tyrone. Tyrone is a bag man who gets the money from them and drops it off at a site. Their only job was to transfer money from the medical doctors to the site where all transactions occur. One day Tyrone, tired of the way Tom handled him, decided to keep the money. It was $750,000. They cruised in the neighborhood and find Tyrone. Mark tries to talk to Tyrone. Tyrone shoots in the air to discourage Mark but Mark follows him into his apartment anyway.
Emotional Gradient: Hope
Mini Movie 4- Hero Forms a New plan
Charles, Tyrone’s younger brother is having dinner with his mentor, Alphonso Allen and his mother. Charles hears his brother running up the stairs and leaves the table with a spoon in his hand. Mark, chasing Tyrone, thinks Charles has a gun too and shoots him in the stairway leading up to the 2<sup>nd</sup> floor. Tyrone escapes out the window. Tom banged his knee leading up to the front entrance and he’s in pain and can’t help. Mark panics as Alphonso and Lily come to Charles aid in the hallway. Alphonso uses his law enforcement skills and disarms Mark as they call for an ambulance and sort things out.
Emotional Gradient: Discouragement
Mini Movie 5
Hero Retreats and the Antagonism Prevails
Alphonso tells Lily to wait in the hallway for the ambulance and leads Mark into the apartment to figure things out. Al makes sure all doors are locked as Mark tells Al what happened and advises him to return his gun and Al will not serve too much time in jail for taking his gun. Al chose a different plan and decides to hold him hostage. Mark now has to tell Al what really happened.
Emotional Gradient: Courage
Mini Movie 6
Hero’s Bigger Better Plan
Tom has to call for back up because shots were fired and he is hurt in front of the house. Al realizes the police will be coming and handcuffs Mark to the radiator. They talk about the botched plan and how Mark really feels about police work, racism, trust, law enforcement and family. Ambulance picks up Charles and Lily and police begin to surround the house. Al begins to trust Mark and thinks of a plan for his escape leaving Mark unharmed.
Emotional Gradient: Courage
Mini Movie 7
Crisis and Climax
Police calls the house to negotiate Mark’s release. Al knows this will not end well for him. He remembers during his tour of the house, Tyrone had built a trap door in their bedroom in case there was a shooting or to store drugs. Police decide to rush the apartment on all sides. They used tear gas then they busted in the front door and the back door. They only found Mark but they found Tyrone (without the money) hiding in the basement dwelling next door. They arrested him.
Emotional Gradient: Courage 2
Mini Movie 8
New Status Quo
No one would suspect Mark or Tom because they are the police. Tyrone took the blame for holding Mark hostage. He got instant ‘cred’ in the neighborhood. Mark would not cooperate with the police about his kidnapping. Tom confessed to the operation but they needed more evidence. A piece was missing. Who was financing the whole operation beyond the doctors? FBI was called in because one of their own was last seen at the house. They decided to ask for Al’s help rather than confused the case. Al learned that Mark’s father was part of the financing. Mark and Al were at the station and had to decide how to enforce the law.
Emotional Gradient: Triumph
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1) Bess Tilley is the transformational character we will go on the journey with.
2) A Pilgrim girl, orphaned in the New World, relies on her own strength to surmount personal loss and physical hardship before she comes to understand and believe it is the Lord who must sustain her through it all.
MM#1 – Status Quo and Call to Adventure
Bess Tilley is a Pilgrim girl who must accompany her parents on their journey to the New World. She is resentful of their calling and being required to leave her family and friends. She makes it clear to her father this calling was not her choice. When land is sighted and the men of the group choose a location for their colony, Bess is forced to get involved with the development of the new community and face potential problems with the native “savages.”
Old ways – Bess does what she is told, only because she has never challenged her parents before and is reluctant to do so now.
MM#2 – Locked Into Conflict
Sickness hits to the community and colonists begin to die. When her parents (and her aunt and uncle) die, Bess is devastated. She must make the decision to stay with the colony or go back to her home in Leiden.
Emotional gradient – Denial
John Howland, another colonists, encourages her to stay, and she decides she will stay to honor her parents.
Old ways – Bess is still looking to others to make her decisions.
MM#3 – Hero Tries to Solve Problem – and Fails
Bess must finish a letter telling her family her parents are gone.
Emotional Gradient – Anger
She and her cousins who were orphaned go to live with the governor (John Carver), his wife, and John Howland, Carver’s indentured servant. When a treaty is signed with the native Americans, Bess meets a young native girl and begins a friendship with her. She starts to adjust, but when both the governor and his wife die, her life is once again thrown into turmoil.
New ways – Bess gets her first glimpse of the natives and realizes they are much like her.
MM#4 – Hero Forms a New Plan
Bess and her cousins continue to live with John Howland, and they form an unusual, blended family. John implies marriage might be in order, but Bess is young and reluctant to make such a commitment just yet. She does look to John for guidance and protection, but when he must leave to go on various trips to find food and meet with the natives, Bess takes her protection (and that of her cousins) into her own hands. She learns how to shoot a gun and takes an active role in the raising of crops.
Emotional gradient – Bargaining
New ways – By refusing John’s offer of marriage, and learning how to shoot a gun and plant crops, Bess is beginning to make her own decisions.
MM#5 – Hero Retreats & the Antagonism Prevails
The colonists celebrate the first harvest together, and there appears to be enough food to see them through the winter. Then another ship arrives, with 35 passengers who have NO provisions. With 35 extra mouths to feed, their celebration is short-lived. Everyone goes to half-rations and they barely survive the winter. When spring comes, only a few are willing to do the hard work to provide for the community. The result is a very poor harvest, and they suffer through another bad winter. Bess knows that changes must be made.
MM#6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan
The leadership decides to change from a communal society to one of individual enterprise. They give each family group their own plot of land, and the family will keep whatever they can grow. Bess is thrilled to have her own land, knowing she can work hard and provide for their family group.
Emotional gradient – Still Bargaining
John offers marriage once again, and Bess considers it, but she is still reluctant. Bess and John plant their ground and the crops thrive, until…
MM#7 – Crisis and Climax
A drought hits, and the crops begin to fail. The drought continues and Bess pushes everyone in her family (and even her friends) to carry water to the fields in an effort to save her crops. When it becomes apparent that the crops will fail, the elders call for a Day of Humiliation and Prayer. Bess is skeptical, John questions her faith, and their relationships seems on the verge of breaking.
Emotional gradient – Depression
Challenge – When the crops begin to fail, Weakness/Bess takes her self-sufficiency too far and refuses to trust God (or anyone else).
MM#8 – New Status Quo
As the community meets to pray, strained relationships are reconciled and prayers are offered. Bess realizes her self-sufficiency has replaced her trust in God, and she recognizes her need to believe God is trustworthy and He wants the best for her, even when she can’t see exactly what it is. She leaves the meeting, more secure in her trust in God, even though the crops are still failing and there is no rain in sight.
Emotional gradient – Acceptance
That night, miraculously, a steady, gentle rain comes. It continues for almost three weeks, and the crops are saved. Bess agrees to marry John, and the whole community meets for the first real day of Thanksgiving.
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Transformational Logline
1. A Mix Cherokee boy, SILAS (10) and his family are forced out of their homeland by the US Army, joining their tribe in long treacherous journey across the states toward Oklahoma to start a new life.
2. Change Agent: Mother & Father.
the 10-year-old boy, Silas is the MAIN Transformational Character. His mother and father go through a minor change. The entire Tribe is also affected.
Choosing to use the Mini-Movie Structure 3 Gradient of Forced changed for Silas and his parents and Tribe.
MINI MOVIE 1 – STATUS QUO AND CALL TO ADVENTURE
The year is 1832, in Hawkins Tennessee, Silas is about 10, and his mother and father work together tending to crop like corn, as well as tending to their old, aged parents who also do what they can around the farmland, they are surrounded by their tribal neighbors and there is mutual friendliness and respect but also fun and sometimes jokingly mischievous but noting actually too mean spirited.
Silas is living with his family, playing among the tribe when suddenly US soldiers start evacuated everyone forcing people out of their homes, killing some if necessary. It was sudden chaos, and everyone is being shouted at to move, grab a wagon. He can’t believe what is happening…
A. Denial
C He’s just a 10-year-old boy, what does he know what is going on, he’s scared and helpless without his mother and father.
The Old Ways: Shy, nervous, hopeless, goofball
The Vision: Silas’ parents have to make sure they make it safely, protect their son, and once they do, they know they are going to have to build a new home from the ground up.
Challenge: The family is forced out of their farmland and forced to migrate towards Oklahoma.
Weakness: Sillas lacks courage and inner strength, doesn’t believe in himself.
MINI MOVIE 2 – LOCKED INTO CONFLICT
A. old ways: Anger
Challenge: forced out of their homes and accepting they are moving on to an unknown future…
Weakness: Fear, Pressure, Pride,
They have to pack really quickly, even though they already had a wagon prepared, they didn’t really think this would be happening. They pack fast and because the soldiers have entered the home, they won’t let them pack everything, they want them gone, they threatened the father’s life, almost gets stabbed. The boy is crying, and his father is shouting at him to stop crying, and that they have to go. Once packed and on the wagon, they leave as fast as they can …with the back view of soldiers raiding their home. They all leave together, including the grandparents and a friend that was helping around the house, became a close family friend.
B. After being on the trail for a while, Silas refused to cooperate with anyone, he refuses to speak and eat. He is very upset towards the US soldiers and wants revenge; he’s also unreasonably upset with his parents. He wishes they could have done something more, call his father a coward for not fighting back.
C. Because he can’t handle what is going on, he shuts down. its passive… holds the anger inward… making him a ticking time bomb.
MINI – MOVIE 3 – HERO TRIES TO SOLVE PROBLEM – BUT FAILS
A. Bargaining
B. After a few days of being on the trail, he begs his family to go home, he’s hungry and thirsty but it’s too late, someone has robbed their food and water… there isn’t any… and their father is trying to find water, without getting too far from the wagon in case someone tries to steal more things or food.
C. For the first time his parents can’t help him out of a bind… he has to do something or die of thirst. He is going to have to do something…But he is too scared to get out of his comfort zone, after all he is just a child. He complains but that gets him nowhere and he searches around the wagon for water. He is able to get a few droplets from a leather water bag they have. The dehydration is making the boy weak.
Mother reminds him about a certain plant in the area that contains a bulb of water near its root. She encourages him to think and find a solution, find the plant, and use the knife to get to the bulb.
Challenge: The boy has to go off on his own for a while, venture away from the trail for a bit in search of the plant with the watery bulb near the root.
Weakness: Fear of getting lost, fear of not finding the plant.
Old ways: complain to parents to get what he wants.
new ways: Mother demands he go out and do this… no choice… he has to grow up and be a man or die.
MINI MOVIE 4 – HERO FORMS NEW PLAN
A. Depression
The boy ventures off, keeping an eye on the trail… he ventures into a forestry area and starts digging around for that root. His first attempt fails, it’s the wrong plant. He tries a different plant… same result.. nadda. He continues.. he thinks he spots it… he digs and finds a bulb near the root, he’s excited, he cuts the bulb out and as he holds it in his hands… the bulb crushes into a powder dust that floats in the air… no water… its been dry in these parts for a long time… plants are drying out… but he is able to get somethings out of the roots he collected.
… he goes back to the trail to catch up with his parents…
MIDPOINT: He’s looking for his parents, calling out to them…he’s losing faith… he’s crying… and every stranger to him terrifies him. His father finally finds him, and they go back to the wagon. That night his mother teaches the boy how to extract the water from the roots…They make tea out of it and they have a little rabbit to share for dinner.
MINI – MOVIE 5 – HERO RETREATS & THE ANTAGONISM PREVAILS.
They are a day away from arriving at the ferries to get across the lake <font face=”inherit”>and at this point the boy and family are incredibly thirsty. The plants are dried up… and there is not </font>single<font face=”inherit”> cloud in the sky… </font>
<font face=”inherit”>Venturing </font>around, he<font face=”inherit”> sees a leathery bag hanging from a donkey…its jiggling like its filled with water… he’s tempted to take it… he has knife… all he has to do is cut, take it and run…</font>
as he does so… a man grabs his are. pull the knife out his hand and throws it away.. and he slaps the boy across the face…
he passes out from dehydration… death is knocking…His father can’t find him, and his mother can’t leave the wagon for fear of getting robbed… people pass over the boy… until he’s completely fallen behind…
C. he accepts death and gives up and just lays on the ground with other dead natives around him
Vision: Parents are doing everything they can to find the boy, last resort… praying to their gods, even though the boy is not keen on prayer… his mother taught him how to pray and keep the faith when all feels lost…
Old Ways: Boy is a quitter when things get tough…
new ways: he finds the inner strength to pull himself up and not die.
Challenge: he has to make a choice, give up or hold on to faith…
Weakness: feeling of no hope, quitter when things get hard.
MINI MOVIE 6 – HERO’S BIGGER, BETTER PLAN
He accepts he can’t go back home, and he has to get back up and catch up with the wagons. But how…its starts to rain… and a puddle form for the boy… He drinks and is so happy to have this miracle happen for him… it feels that way anyway. By the time he has enough strength to pick himself up… he runs after the wagons… but he’s too far off… He gets an idea. he thinks he can cut through the forest area in order to catch up with the wagons and the ferry across the lake. And he knows as long as he cuts through the forest, he can collect more water and wild berries. It’ll be more dangerous for him to do that… but it’s his only chance to catch up to the wagons.
The mother and father move their wagon to the side and allow others to pass them… hoping to find their son. No one is helping them…. and they feel abandoned by their own people and tribe.
old ways: the parents fear they have lost their child…
new ways: For the boy its relaying on himself to get himself out of a deadly bind.
challenge: the family being separated; will they survive without each other and will they be united and for that to happen the boy has to find the will power to help himself.
MINI MOVIE 7 – CRISIS & CLIMAX
A. Acceptance
The boy on his own trail… finds himself face to face with a wild boar… a baby one.. and he’s hungry… he starts chasing it… running after it… it leads him to the big mama boar and it chases after him and its charging at him… he runs…
The boy finds a tree and climbs it… he feels safe there… he climbs the tallest tree and can see where the trail is headed… he can see the port… it’s not far. ITs getting dark… he makes himself comfortable.
His parents can’t wait any longer… they have to get back to the trail and catch up to the ferry. The father showed his son where they were going… he believes he is smart enough to make it and they hope that he will show up at the ferry… they will wait there for him for as long as they can.
The boy has an arrowhead… a rock from him homeland, the farm in Tennessee. He throws it away. He accepts that, he could be on his own now. but he is not crying.
The following morning… the boy has to get down, but that big boar is still lurking… he is afraid to go down there. He sneakily gets down… and tries to get away quietly but the boar spots him and runs after the boy.,, the boy decides to defend him self and has a one on one fight with the wild boar. He kills it… but he hurt his leg in doing so. On his way out of the forest area he runs into some US soldiers… with blood on his knife… and his face.. he is ready for battle… he wants to kill them and he has his knife ready…. as he does so a soldier grabs his hand and stops the boy… they arrest the boy and take him back to the ferry
New Ways: The boy is more of a man now, still just a boy though… but he has confidence in himself…
The vision: the family is reunited.
challenge: can the boy overcome his anger?
MINI – MOVIE 8 NEW STATUS QUO
The boy stumbles his way to port. He has to talk to the natives around him… and learned to also be careful… he has to learn that it’s okay for him to rely on the help of strangers… and in himself, and unfortunately for Silas, he has to grow up fast.
<font face=”inherit”>He is finally reunited with </font>his<font face=”inherit”> family and his mother takes care of his wounds. His Boyhood is gone. he gives his father boar meat. His father is proud of </font>him.<font face=”inherit”>.. while many sons and daughters, and elders have </font>perished<font face=”inherit”> in the trail… hi son has </font>passed<font face=”inherit”> the test. </font>
<font face=”inherit”>They get on the ferry… and travel across the lake to…here… Silas and his family find water… in exchange for the boar meat… the boy’s leg wound begins to heal, thanks to his mother’s natural herbal </font>remedy<font face=”inherit”>… promises her boy she will teach him the healing ways that </font>were<font face=”inherit”> taught to her… she will do this when he is a bit older. All is well, but their journey </font>isn’t<font face=”inherit”> </font>over.<font face=”inherit”> they still have to venture to </font>Oklahoma<font face=”inherit”> once they get </font>across<font face=”inherit”> the lake and that will be a longer and deadlier journey… father is thinking of escaping the trail and finding a secluded area that they could hide and try to live at. </font>
New Way: They are united… and the boy is on his way to becoming a man.
Profound truth: Letting go and moving on is hard but it clears the path to one’s future.
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Edward Brown profound structure
I learned intuitively or remembering MM I fairly followed format. However, adding profound before and after progression added a lot
What follows is for my own thinking, thus, short thought notes. Not meant for other, but me on concise pages.
To discover secret alchemy romance’s giving and sharing, God introduces two uber romantics with opposite personalities, Tanya structured Siberian professor and George chaotic Detroit roofer. Hope is lessons learned can be parable binge series so romance will keep parents together and nuclear nations don’t create another extinct Mars.
Ordinary world:
After rich or career enhancement prospects
Siberia culture residence mined out
Call to adventure for NYE Kiss
Go to Kremlin
George talk
Resists but locked in
Retalk
Train
Appeals to outside help
Prayer/ on own
Bigger plan but fails due to lack of info
Boris rejects
George breaks off
Licks wounds, reflects
Putin
Wind tunnel
Ready to change,new plan, fails
Must test live with Prospect
George still rejects
Apparent victory
Ob Sea, tunnel
George happy
Siberia too far
Victory Agreement sealed with NYE Kiss
Moscow
Ob Sea maybe
Call to Adventure
Ordinary world
Send Valentine?
Resists but locked in
Exchange valentines
Appeals to outside help
Research
Anna
Byran
Veronica
Bigger Plan, fails
Vamp George Red Square
Reflects
George tested me
Runs after george
Apparent Victory
States reflective
Laughs at Bird dance
Bird Dance together
Agree synergy partners
Not Czaria, subject
Agree to fly to Siberia
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PATRICK MALONE TRANSFORMATIONAL STRUCTURE
What I learned was using the Mini-Movie to create an outline. This was a big help for me to figure out more of my story.
Logline for the transformational journey:
An American Indian who has rejected his culture/heritage is confronted by an alien bent on killing his white friends. Only by embracing his native spirituality can he save his friends.
Change Agent: Jennifer
Transformational Characters: Dennis, Mike
Mini-Movie 1 – Status Quo and Call to Adventure
– Dennis is a descendant of a Comanche tribe and a grade school teacher. A boy asks him something about Indian culture, but Dennis knows nothing about it.
– Fellow teacher Jennifer is worried that her friends Melissa and Brian have not returned from a concert in Albuquerque. They should have been home two days ago.
– Melissa had told Jennifer she wanted to stop at the infamous ghost town Eagle’s Nest.
– Jennifer, Dennis and friends Mike and Ned drive to Eagle’s Nest.
– At a stop for gas, two Indian men panhandle. One is drunk. They appeal to Dennis, but he finds them repulsive. Racial slurs are exchanged.
– Mike, a bigot, says all Indians are like that, lowlifes. He taunts Dennis, says he’s hiding his true nature behind the veneer of a white man.
Emotion: denial
Challenge: control his anger.
Mini-Movie 2 – Locked Into Conflict
– They arrive at Eagle’s Nest. A mining town, it was abandoned in the 1870s after trouble with the Indians. Mike taunts Dennis about this.
– They find fresh tire tracks that they assume are from Melissa and Brian’s vehicle, but no vehicle.
– They start exploring the streets and abandoned buildings. They hear creepy sounds and experience sudden scares. They catch glimpses of a strange figure.
– Ned believes that this was where three teens vanished years ago. And another was found on the road hysterical and has been in mental institution since.
– They hear a dreadful scream from somewhere in the town.
Emotion: Fear
Challenge: Courage to keep searching.
Mini-Movie 3 — Hero Tries to Solve Problem – But Fails.
-They search for the source of the scream.
– Mike teases Dennis to use his ‘Tonto’ tracking skills.
– Whimpering comes from deep in a mine shaft.
– A strange almost human voice in the shaft says “You’ve brought more outsiders here”.
– The voice is talking to Melissa. She lays hurt in the mine shaft. She tells the voice she didn’t bring anyone else here. Looking up to the light at ground level she sees two people walk by.
– Jennifer and Dennis wonder where Melissa could be, not knowing she’s below them.
Emotion: Frustration, concern.
Challenge: Courage to keep searching.
Mini-Movie 4 – Hero Forms a New Plan
– A rattler strikes at Ned. Mike whacks it with a stick. It falls in a crack and down the mine shaft. Melissa
screams.
– They now know where Melissa is. She’s hurt and needs help.
– They search and find a way to the shaft. Dennis refuses to go in. Jennifer and Mike go in.
– They discover animal and human remains. And what appears to be s shrine.
– They reach Melissa. She can’t stand, her leg is badly injured. They give her water and some snacks.
– Melissa warns them that there is a strange creature down here.
– Suddenly The Voice speaks. Tells them to leave or die.
Emotion: Fear
Challenge: How to rescue Melissa.
MIDPOINT: Having found Melissa, they must find a way to get her out of the mine. There is a strange dangerous creature who could kill them all. Brian is still missing.
Mini-Movie 5 – Hero Retreats & The Antagonism Prevails
– Jennifer and Mike join Dennis and Ned above ground.
– They debate on how to get Melissa out.
– They also search for Brian.
– They find petroglyphs. One depicts what Jennifer says is the Star Man. She tells the Comanche legend of the Star Man, an extra-terrestrial, who fought with the Indians against a race of giants and later against the white town’s people of Eagle’s Nest. Dennis claims this is just a ridiculous legend.
– Jennifer thinks that the paranormal events and deaths in this ghost town could be due to Star Man.
– Jennifer and Mike go back into the mine. Make a splint for Melissa’s leg.
– The Voice appears. It admits to being the Star Man. He explains that after helping the Indians against the town’s people, he was captured and sealed in the mine. The town was abandoned. He is waiting to be rescued by other aliens, but needs a sacred Indian ceremony to open the channel to allow this. He has sensed that Dennis is Indian. If he doesn’t get help, he will destroy all of them.
– Jennifer and Mike try to convince Dennis to recognize his unique spiritual heritage. He refuses and wanders away.
Emotion: Bargaining
Challenge/Weakness: Dennis refuses to listen. Stubborn.
Mini-Movie 6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!
– That night a car load of teens arrives to drink and party. They are loud and vulgar.
– Jennifer, Mike and tell them to leave. They refuse.
– Two teens explore the town. The Star Man kills them.
– Terrified, the other teens leave.
– Dennis sits alone by a fire. He has brief visions of ancient Comanches.
– Dennis hears a banging sound coming from a shed. He discovers Brian’s vehicle hidden in a shed. On an exterior wall he sees the source of the banging. Hanging from a hook, wind wacks Brian’s body against the wall.
– Terrified Dennis finds his other friends.
– With the deaths, Dennis realizes the danger they are in. Jennifer convinces him to meditate and connect with his Indian soul.
Emotion: Hope
Challenge: Dennis is torn between keeping his old ways and dying or searching his soul to save all.
Mini-Movie 7 – Crisis & Climax
– Dennis goes into a trance by the fire. He has visions of a Comanche ceremony and Star Man.
– Mike convinces Ned that they must kill the Star Man. Jennifer tries to stop them.
– Dennis comes out of the trance empowered. He has found his spirit.
– There is a race between Mike and Ned vs Jennifer and Dennis to reach the Star Man.
– Mike beats down Dennis.
– Mike and Ned search the mine for Star Man. They confront Star Man.
– Star Man is about to kill them when Dennis and Jennifer intervene.
– Star Man recognizes Dennis’s Indian spirit and he saves Mike and Ned.
– Star Man tells Dennis that after being sealed in the mine, he created paranormal events that drove the town’s people away. Eventually he escaped the mine but his fear and distrust of white people has kept him in the ghost town.
– Star Man says that the 1947 Roswell UFO crash was a rescue attempt. The lone alien survivor made his way to the ghost town but died of his injuries. The shrine is in honor of him.
– Dennis and Star Man have a mystical experience.
Emotion: Uncertainty.
Challenge: Will they succeed in rescuing Star man and saving themselves?
Mini-Movie 8 – New Status Quo
– Images of aliens and Comanches appear in strange bright lights.
– Fearful, Jennifer, Mike and Ned escape the mine.
– Thunder and flashes of light fill the night sky.
– A UFO appears and hovers above the mine
– A beam of light shoots down into the mine. An explosion.
– The UFO takes off.
– Jennifer and the others go to the mine entrance, they assume Dennis is injured of dead.
– Dennis appears from the mine. He looks strong and confident.
– Moments later Melissa walks out, cured of her injuries.
– They look to the sky, relieved to be alive and safe. Star Man has been rescued.
– Mike recognizes the positive qualities of the Indians.
– Jennifer congratulates Dennis.
– Dennis is elated foe what he’s experienced and done.
New Way: Dennis embraces his Indian heritage. Mike is no longer a bigot.
Profound Truth: Each of us has unique qualities that should be appreciated by ourselves and by others.
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Pat’s Transformational Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is that change occurs in gradually. I also learned that you can have multiple levels of transformation in a single journey.
1. Tell us your Transformational Logline.
2. Tell us who the main character will be:
Change Agent:
Transformational Character(s):3. List out your Mini-Movie structure, (or whatever structure you’ve chosen) for your story.
4. Go back through and make sure you’ve covered each the following:
– The Transformational Journey listed in your logline.
– The Three Gradients.
– It is sequenced in Escalating Challenges.Transformational Logline: A young man dreams of becoming a lauded Shakespearean actor, but when challenged by systematic racism, he neglects his wife and son before learning family is his most important accomplishment.
Emotional Gradient:
Two Schemas:
1) Ira as Change Agent; Society/Press as Transformed Character (Forced Change – Professional Life)
2) Margaret as Change Agent/Ira as Transformed Character (Desired Change – Personal Life)
Mini Movie STRUCTURE
Mini-Movie 1 – Status Quo and Call to Adventure
As a young boy, Ira and his brother are in a hurry to get somewhere. They watch a show from the wings of a theater. His brother drags him away during intermission.
At home, they are greeted warmly by their mother who coughs incessantly. Ira spins out a line from Shakespeare, amusing her. He tells her he dreams of becoming an actor. Ira’s father, returns home from work and warns her it will be the death of her. He tells the boys they must come to work with him over the weekend.
At 10, he’s devastated by his mother’s death. The boys ride with Daniel as he struggles to sell straw. He encourages Ira’s brother to try. Same result. But Ira spins a magnificent tale around the straw and people gather round to buy.
At 15, His father wants him to go to divinity school and become a minister. Ira refuses and gets job aboard a sailing ship and travels south where a slave trader tries to buy him from the captain. Returning home safely, Ira works with a friend who works for an English Shakespearan actor. When his buddy becomes ill, Ira fills in.
Vision – To become an actor
Mini-Movie 2 – Locked Into Conflict
The actor notes his keen interest and rhetorical abilities and proposes he travel to London to act. His father forces him into Divinity school where he is bored. An administrator and family friend gets Ira a scholarship at U of Glasgow.
A. Emotion: Excitement
B. Action: Ira wants to become an actor but his father wants him to go to Divinity School because he thinks Ira’s dreams are a pipe dream given the racism he experiences in the US. Ira receives an offer to travel to Europe, so he trades hoping to leave his racist struggles behind.C. Challenge / Weakness: C: Forced into the lower annals of the boat. W: Naïve, thinking America is the only place blacks face racist situations,
Ira sets sail with the actor as a valet. Aboard the ship, Ira is forced into the gallows, unable to be treated as an equal, something Ira expected.
Change Agent: Ira
Transformational Characters: Society
Old Ways: Racist. Closed minded. Rigid. Calculating
The Vision: To break the color barrier as a successful Shakesperean actor.
Challenge: Segregation aboard the ship
Weaknesses: Rules are arbitrary and Ira finds ways to circumvent the rules
New Ways: Create an exception for Ira
Mini-Movie 3 — Hero Tries to Solve Problem – But Fails
Ira studies in Divinity school but travels to London on weekends to act. He meets Margaret. Eventually he ditches school and makes his London debut when he fills in for a sick actor The critics pan him. Margaret helps him “reinvent” himself. They marry.
Most of the press don’t buy the new Ira and ratches up the pressure, but some do and hail his performances.
A. Emotion: Doubt
B. Action: Ira slips away from European Divinity School into theater and makes his debut performance. Despite rave reviews from the audience the critics pan him with bigotry. Margaret helps him develop coping mechanisms.
C. Challenge / Weakness: C: Bigotry; W: Believing the lies.Old ways: Racism, outrage
Challenge: They despise the idea of a black man playing Shakespearean roles.
Weaknesses: Bigotry
Change Agent: Margaret: Ira fights back with Margaret help
Vision: He will be a respected Shakesperean actor
Old Ways: Racist Attacks referencing his physical features
Mini-Movie 4 – Hero Forms a New Plan
A. Emotion: Hope
B. Action: He marries Margaret & their strategies payoff. IRA leaves London. His popularity is gaining. IRA Widely accepted outside of London; buys Luranah Village; performs for the Queen (TP3);
C. Challenge / Weakness: C: The press engages theater owners to limit or ban his performances. W: Infidelity which further infuriates the press.Vision: To tour outside of London to gain respect
Old Ways: The press escalates to personal attacks when they realize he is succeeding in the Townships
New Ways: Concede & Celebrate his talent when the Queen lauds his performance & encourages the palace staff and associates to see him
MIDPOINT: Ira is successful in his professional goal, but his personal life begins to suffer
Mini-Movie 5 – Hero Retreats & The Antagonism Prevails
A. Emotion: Discouragement
B. Action: Ira and Margaret develop a new strategy to perform outside of London.
C. Challenge / Weakness: C: His work requires him to travel and leave Margaret home alone despite her becoming ill. W: No work-life balance.
Professionally, Ira receives offers to perform in other European countries
New Ways: The foreign press hails his performances
Margaret shows signs of illness; She travels with him. Ira is sued; Buys more property. Margaret decides it’s best to stay home (not well). Ira returns home with a new baby, Ira Daniel, infuriating her; she offers her psychoanalysis
Vision – To integrate his new family
Old Ways: Indiscrete
Challenge: Sexual temptation
Weakness: Infidelity/Insecurity
Mini-Movie 6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!
A. Emotion: Courage
B. Action: Ira performs in other countries for royalty and is treated like royalty
C. Challenge / Weakness: Margaret dies; W: Familial neglect & guilt.
Vision: To become a revered Shakesperean actor
Margaret adapts to Ira Daniel; Margaret raises him as her own; Margaret suspects Ira has a mistress, Amanda; Margaret dies; Ira vows to turn over a new leaf.
Old Ways: Indiscrete
New Ways: Discrete
Challenge: To become a better person
Weakness: Losing Margaret
Mini-Movie 7 – Crisis & Climax
A. Emotion: Triumph
B. Action: Although devastated after losing Margaret, Ira remarries and starts a new family. He returns to his international tour except this time he travels with his family and becomes a better family man. He is the highest paid Shakespearean actor. Ira Daniel is resentful; He tries acting, but fails. With a family of his own, he turns to crime and is sentenced to prison.
C. Challenge / Weakness: C: Ira Daniel is failing while his new family is thriving W: It’s too late to repair the relationship with Ira Daniel
Mini-Movie 8 – New Status Quo
He plans to return to the US to see his American family and mentor other black actors. The skies the limit. On stage, he collapses. He has a vision of boarding a ship and being reunited with his father and mother who tell him he’s going home. In his mind, he’s fulfilling his dream to return to the US. He dies and is given a King’s burial.
New Way: Family and helping others are his first priority
Profound Truth: “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not”
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Linda Anderson’s Transformational Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is it takes many attempts to shape a story for main characters to believably transform on their journeys.
Transformational Logline:
A military chaplain on his first tour of duty becomes a hero while keeping a sacred promise to 20 fallen soldiers in a bombed-out 2004 Iraq military base where he suffers a crisis of faith and is sabotaged by an officer of the same rank who thinks chaplains aren’t worth spit.
MAIN CHARACTERS:
Change Agent: Lt. Ray Sloan has been assigned by the Major of Camp Wolf to keep safe the chaplain, his assistant, and the base interpreter after an insurgent’s bomb destroys it and kills 20 soldiers. A bully-with-a-gun, he’s furious with God, if there even is a God.
Transformational Character(s):
Chaplain Lt. Tanji Wilkes, a young military chaplain, is the main Transformable Character. He must stay behind when the base is evacuated and do Mortuary duties for 20 fallen soldiers. It’s a devastating task that shakes everything he’s learned from his old-time minister father and divinity school education.
Adiba, the Muslim Iraqi interpreter for Camp Wolf. She clings to the promise of immigrating to America (where the streets are paved with gold) in exchange for serving US military in Iraq. Her faith in Islam is unshakable, but her brother is joining their village’s Sunni insurgents. A budding love for Tanji puts her into crisis of forbidden longing for an Infidel.
Mario Chavez, Tanji’s Chaplain’s Assistant, is an ultra-religious young guy who has concluded that although he’d die to protect the unarmed chaplain, Tanji isn’t cut out for a war-zone and is a danger to himself and others.
MM #1 – Pages 1 – 15 – Our hero’s status quo, his ordinary world, ends with an inciting incident or “call to adventure,” introducing the story’s main tension.
FADE IN
Tanji and Mario view ghastly lineup of 20 standing riles with bloodied helmets and soldiers’ effects in Mortuary Tent. Tanji tries to find right scripture passage to say. Overcome with grief and anger, instead of praying, he asks for Mario’s M16 rifle and fires into the sky through a big hole in the tent.
Mario sees toppled crucifix at bombed-out chapel. Prays to smite the unbelievers who did this.
In desert outside the base, Adiba quarrels with her brother, Baqir, about returning to Camp Wolf. She pleads with him not to join the village’s Sunni insurgents who view American infidels as invaders.
Turning Point: Call to Adventure.
Ray tells Tanji and Mario that Major has commanded them to stay behind, go through soldiers’ effects, and contact loved ones before news of the attack hits wire services. He’s furious at having to stay with them instead of joining the convoy back to Balad.
MM #2 – Pages 15 – 30 – Our hero’s denial of the call, and his gradually being “locked into” the conflict brought on by this call.
Tanji and Mario exchange horror stories about what has happened to Mortuary soldiers—mental breakdowns, even suicides.
Tanji goes to Internet Café and finds a working computer. Emails his father, Rev. Wilkes, about the assignment. Rev. Wilkes emails back that Tanji has no business being there to fight “Bush’s War.” The whole congregation is praying for him to come home.
Turning Point: Locked in.
Adiba arrives at camp. Ray allows her to enter. Tanji joins them as Ray promises to ask the Major to speed up her application to immigrate to America. Tanji thanks Adiba for all the help she gave him when he had to minister to wounded Iraqi’s and comfort their families. Ray and Tanji have harsh words over Ray’s refusal to let Adiba go back to her village because it would endanger all of them. Ray tells Tanji to get back to “God’s work.” Adiba can help him.
MM #3 – Pages 30 – 45 – Our hero’s first attempts to solve his problem, the first things that anyone with this problem would try, appealing to outside authority to help him. Ends when all these avenues are shut to our hero.
Mario, Tanji, and Adiba look through remnants of reference books and notes on how to do prayers and rituals for dead for soldiers of various religions.
Mario and Ray sort through debris, looking for more soldiers’ effects.
Tanji and Adiba sort through effects of first ten soldiers in Mortuary Tent and read final letters tucked inside dead soldiers’ helmets. Adiba takes notes for letters that Tanji must write to loved ones. Tanji spouts scripture and doctrine. Adiba isn’t impressed. Tanji confesses he’s not like his father who is touchy-feely and great at giving comfort.
Adiba tells Tanji that Baqir will come looking for her when she doesn’t return to the village.
Turning Point: Standard ways fail.
Tanji gets on walkie-talkie and tells Major he, Mario, and Ray will load effects into the convoy. Sort it all out in Balad. Major angrily tells Tanji they can’t leave anything behind that is useful to the enemy. Threatens Tanji with a court martial if he doesn’t do his job. Convoys can be heard leaving.
MM #4 – Pages 45 — 60 – Our hero spawns a bigger plan. He prepares for it, gathers what materials and allies he may need, then puts the plan into action — only to have it go horribly wrong, usually due to certain vital information the hero lacked about the forces of antagonism allied against him.
While Tanji organizes for packing effects of the first ten soldiers, VO (thoughts in his mind) delivers snippets from his preachy sermons to base soldiers. It contrasts with images of what it’s really like after a bomb destroys the base and kills or injures soldiers he’s grown to care about.
Mario finds photo of him and his best friend, Trey, in happy times. Breaks down in tears.
Mario and Ray research and find chaplains on bases where fallen soldiers’ families live. Mario keeps trying to find out if anyone has seen Trey.
Turning Point: Plan backfires.
Mario gets a Skype call from the girlfriend of one of his buddies, Matt, about Matt’s PTSD. This war’s not over when soldiers return home.
Ray grabs one of Tanji’s letters and starts reading it out loud. Ridicules how stiff and stupid it is.
Tanji gets email back from a mother with thoughts about her son’s untimely death. Her attitude is more real than the theological things Tanji wrote to her. He confides in Adiba that he’s not good at giving comfort like his father, Rev. Wilkes. The old-time preacher is disappointed that Tanji didn’t take over their South Carolina congregation but went into the military to fight “Bush’s War”.
Adiba offers to help Tanji put more heart into his letters. Considering Adiba is a Muslim, Tanji doesn’t think she can help him write to Christians. He tells her his father’s attitude that only believers who accept Jesus as their personal savior will go to heaven. Adiba asks if that’s what he believes. He doesn’t know anymore. Mario tells Tanji he’ll pray to Jesus to help him stay a true believer. Adiba is rebuffed. Ray warns her about sanctimonious Tanji.
MM #5 – Pages 60 — 75 – Having created his plan to solve his problem WITHOUT changing, our hero is confronted by his need to change, eyes now open to his own weaknesses, driven by the antagonist to change or die. He retreats to lick his wounds.
Montage: Tanji, Adiba, and Mario process five more soldiers’ effects and letters. Adiba asks Tanji to read the final letter he wrote to Rev. Wilkes. Adiba tenderly comforts Tanji. Mario looks disgusted.
Rev. Wilkes gets through on a phone call to Tanji. In a VO, he asks how many souls Tanji has saved over there. Tells him Tanji’s ex-fiancé, Felicity, wants to get back together and still loves him. They both want him to come home and tend to the needs of their flock in South Carolina. Adiba hears Tanji talking about Felicity. After the call, he tells Adiba why things didn’t work out with Felicity.
Ray and Mario become closer when Ray says he’ll help Mario find out what happened to Trey. Mario confides that he’s worried Adiba and Tanji are getting romantically involved. It would endanger both of them in anyone finds out. After Mario leaves, Ray calls Battalion Chaplain Commander Jim and reports Tanji as a rogue chaplain who is putting their mission at risk with a female military translator.
Father Jim, calls Tanji (VO) from another base. Tanji confides he’s going through a crisis of faith. Father Jim asks about what’s happening with Adiba. Tanji realizes Ray must have told him. Father Jim offers Tanji the possibility of serving soldiers and families on a base in the US if he’s not cut out for war-zone ministry.
Felicity does a Skype call to tell Tanji his father has had a heart attack and is in the hospital. They want him to take an emergency family leave. She makes a play for the two of them to start things up again. It was a mistake to break off their engagement.
An Iraqi child stands at the camp entrance. He’s in shadow and can’t be seen well. Mario yells at the boy to go away. Child holds up something in his hand that could be a bomb. Mario points rifle at the boy. Tanji begins to recite a prayer from scriptures. Adiba tells him to do something!
Tanji puts down his bible. Screws up his courage and carefully approaches the child. Asks him to show what’s in his hand. Adiba translates Tanji’s request. The boy swings his arm back to throw. A shaft of light mysteriously comes through the clouds. Reveals the kid is holding a rock, not detonation devise. The boy asks for candy. Tanji reaches in his pocket and throws candy. The child catches it, smiles, and runs away.
Mario is shaken that he came so close to killing a child. Attributes the light’s sudden appearance to Tanji’s powerful prayers. Tanji says the light shone on the boy after he acted on what he knew to do intuitively. He was listening to guidance from God.
Mario tells Ray about the miraculous light and Tanji’s powerful prayers. Ray tells Mario that the Major used to ask him to say prayers for men going out on the convoys. Ray had bowed his head—not because he thinks prayer is powerful but in solidarity with the other soldiers. Ray gives backstory about being a believer as a young boy. Being in war zones has purged all that from him. Mario says that although Ray is a nonbeliever, he’ll pray for his soul. Ray tells him not to bother. He’s already in hell.
Turning Point: The decision to change.
Baqir, from a distance, sees Adiba with Tanji outside the Mortuary Tent. He’s furious and yells at his sister. Tanji shouts to Baqir that God loves all of them. Baqir asks if the infidels are holding her captive or has she just been brainwashed? Ray and Mario rush out to shoot Baqir. Tanji shields Baqir by standing between him and Ray and Mario. Adiba pleads with Ray not to kill her brother. Baqir runs. Ray shoots at the fleeing shadow. He says that now Baqir will tell insurgents the base isn’t deserted. Adiba assures him Baqir would never do that. He loves her.
MM #6
– Pages 75 – 90 – Our hero spawns a new plan, but now he’s ready to change. He puts this plan into action…and is very nearly destroyed by it. And then…a revelation.
VO with Tanji calling chaplains from other bases, Sam (Jewish), Ibrahim (Muslim), Lucinda (female Christian) to exchange information and make requests from each other. Tanji asks them to email prayers for the dead from their faiths.
Montage: Tanji, Adiba, and Mario process five more soldiers’ effects and letters. In an awkward effort to be more open to religious beliefs he doesn’t understand, he talks with Adiba about Islam, and women. Adiba admires how Tanji is growing and sees his progress in becoming more open to hers and other beliefs.
Tanji in Chaplain’s Tent goes through dark night of soul agony. Mario comes in and asks what’s wrong. Tanji has a moment of honesty with Mario when he tells him nothing about God or his religions makes sense to him anymore in this senseless carnage. Mario leaves, shocked.
Ray tells Adiba he has news about her request to go to America. Needs to see her in his tent. Ray not-so-subtly comes on to her. Hints he can move her request along faster if she’s nicer to him.
Ray recruits Mario to report to him on what’s happening with Tanji and Adiba. Mario is disappointed and angry at Tanji’s weakness and loss of faith as a true believer. He recalls his own and other soldiers’ reasons for going to war & what Camp Wolf used to be like. None of them are being fulfilled.
Adiba, trembling, tells Tanji about Ray blackmailing her. Tanji wants to confront Ray. Adiba
stops him. They have important work to finish here. Adiba looks at Tanji’s picture of Felicity.
When his back is turned, she turns it down on the shelf.
Turning Point: Plan backfires
To give every fallen soldier their due before God, Tanji gathers Mario and Adiba to help him conduct a Memorial Service. They stand in front of a soldier’s helmet and effects. One contains aminiature Torah. Tanji reads the Jewish Prayer for the Dead for this soldier. Adiba does a prayer for the dead Muslim soldier. Mario does a Christian prayer for the dead. Ray comes in and watches. Disgusted. Not into their “prayers”.
Showing that Tanji realizes being a chaplain involves accepting nonbelievers and ministering to them too. He asks Ray what he’d like to do to honor these fallen soldiers in the memorial service. Ray does the traditional call and response for fallen soldiers but without gun salute that would attract the enemy.
While Mario and Ray work on packing and labeling the remaining soldiers’ effects for shipment home, Adiba struggles to get snacks out of the broken vending machines. She carries them in her backpack out of the tent.
In the Chaplain’s Tent, Adiba arranges the snacks into a makeshift dinner setting. When Tanji comes in, she tells him she’s prepared dinner for them. He’s worried about his father and has applied for the family emergency leave. In moments of truth, they acknowledge feelings for each other. Tanji doesn’t know how a life together in America with two different religions and cultures will work out or how his father will react, but he’s willing to figure it out. They kiss.
Turning Point: The ultimate failure.
Baqir is inside the Camp Wolf gate. Ray yells at him. Adiba, Tanji, and Mario run to them. Baqir accuses Adiba of betraying the Prophet. He’s wearing a bomb vest. Ray tries to shoot Baqir without killing all of them. Adiba runs to Baqir. Mario holds Tanji back from running after her. Baqir presses the detonator. Kills himself. Shrapnel hits Adiba and Mario. Adiba dies in Tanji’s arms.
Ray tends to Mario’s light wound and tells him he holds Tanji responsible for Adiba’s death. He’s going to get rid of that guy if it’s the last thing he ever does.
MM #7 – Pages 90 – 105 – The revelation allows our hero to see victory, and he rejoins the battle with a new fervor, finally turning the tables on his antagonist and arriving at apparent victory. And then the tables turn one more time!
Tanji, Ray, and Mario cremate Adiba’s body according to Muslim tradition.
Ray confronts Tanji and reminds them they’re in an isolated base where no one will ever know what really happened. Accidental death? Stepping on an IED? Anything is possible. Maybe Tanji’s God will perform a miracle and save his useless life.
Tanji talks on the phone to Ibrahim about Adiba’s death and says he doesn’t know what to do with her Quran. Tanji follows Ibrahim’s instructions for burying Adiba’s Quran.
Mario finds Trey’s helmet and final letter in the debris.
Tanji and Ray hear Mario screaming in agony over Trey’s death and run to him. Mario has a breakdown and barricades himself in the Mortuary tent. Ray tells Tanji to go to tent to try and talk Mario down. They can both die in there and this will finally be over.
Tanji finds Mario loaded up with ammunition, ready to blow himself up.
Turning Point: Apparent victory.
Tanji talks Mario out of killing himself and Tanji by blowing up his vest. Walks him from the tent into Ray’s custody. Ray puts grief-stricken Mario in cuffs.
Ray quickly calls the Major and arranges for choppers to fly in and take Mario to Balad hospital for psychiatric care and remove the cataloged fallen soldiers’s effects for sending to their loved ones.
MM #8 – Pages 105 – 120 – The hero puts down the antagonist’s last attempt to defeat him, wraps up his story and any sub-plots, and moves into the new world he and his story have created.
Tanji finishes packing the little that’s left of his possessions. He carefully packs the wrappers from his and Adiba’s only romantic dinner and lovingly packs Adiba’s hijab.
Ray barges into the Chaplain’s tent and sedates Mario. With the three of them alone, Ray tells Tanji how much he hates everything Tanji stands for. He goes to the phone and says he’s calling Father Jim. If Tanji doesn’t tell the Chaplain commander that he’s going home on a family emergency leave and staying there, Ray will shoot Tanji and Mario now.
Tanji spots Mario’s rifle on the floor. Ray puts down his rifle. He taunts Tanji to go ahead and lunge for Mario’s rifle. Chaplains aren’t supposed to be armed. If Tanji kills him, that will be the end of his military career anyway.
Simultaneously Ray and Tanji look at Adiba’s hijab in Tanji’s suitcase. Ray angrily admits he loved Adiba too.
Mario wakes up from the sedation. He’s disoriented. He takes in Ray and Tanji’s standoff. He shouts that Adiba is there with them. Tanji and Ray look in the direction Mario is staring. They see nothing. Tanji says he won’t talk to Ray about God’s love, but love is love. And somehow, they both found it here in this brutal war.
Sounds of helicopters landing in the background. The three men agree to try to heal in their own ways. Ray tells Tanji he still doesn’t believe in God but maybe he’s starting to believe in Tanji.
After Tanji picks up his suitcase and escorts Mario out of the tent, Ray calls Father Jim. Tells him Tanji is a hero for what he did to save Mario. Says Father Jim should recommend Tanji for a Soldier’s Medal for bravery.
Turning Point: New status quo.
On a plane, Tanji is seated next to a Female Passenger. What starts off as plane-seat chit-chat turns into Tanji telling her that he’s a military chaplain on his first tour of duty in Iraq. She says she’s a member of the clergy in her religion. They talk a little about what it was like in Iraq.
The Woman tells Tanji her daughter had leukemia and a bone marrow transplant this year. Tanji explains that in the past he would have tried to recall the perfect scripture passage to comfort her. Now, he just wants to open a sacred space for her to talk so he can listen deeply. They get into a short philosophical discussion about why bad things happen and the afterlife. Her beliefs are different from Tanji’s religious dogmas.
They exchange cards with spiritual prayers, taught in their respective faiths. The Female Passenger tells Tanji that the prayer she gave him doesn’t tell God what to do. She compliments Tanji on how empathetic he is and nonjudgmental about beliefs that are different from his faith traditions. She tells him that he’ll must be an excellent chaplain. Tanji nods silently. Smiles. Then tells her that he’s found his purpose, his calling.
Without saying it, we know now that he will return to Iraq a better and more experienced chaplain for soldiers at war and those who come home, damaged from their battles.
FADE OUT
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