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Day 6 Assignments
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Mod 3 Lesson 6
What I learned from this assignment is stacking intrigue with a turning point creates a strong scene that will make your series more powerful.
Make a list of your turning points.
Act 1 The social worker is aware of groups that traffic children but does not tip off Irene and Jessie due to it puts her safety in jeopardy.Act 2 There is a bandit network that has been following them Act 3 Someone from the inside of the adoption agency tipped off the traffickers, but who?Act 4 There are some people in the community know Isaac is valuable. Will they try to see him?Act 5 A few people in the community member are part of the raid.
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Kim’s Stacking Intrigue
What I learned from this assignment is: I found deeper levels to character motivation!
Act 1
Secret Identity: Natalie is in her past life an eight-year-old (Beth) that drowned beneath ice.
Strange Behavior: Why is Natalie acting like a child? Why does this upset Eric, her husband?
Wound: Beth cannot get past how she died, needs Natalie to see what happened to her.
Act 2
Intrigue: Natalie used to be Eric’s patient, while he was still married to Danielle.
Mystery: What happened to his marriage with Danielle? Why is he with his former patient instead?
Secret: Who is Eric flirting with on the phone?
Turning point: the attack on Eric
Act 3
Accusation: Detective Bernard suspects Natalie attacked Eric.
Wound: Nat never in a million years would harm Eric. She’s devoted to him. He saved her from an unpleasant life.
Hidden Layer: He is always saving her in all the past lives. This has been his downfall, because he takes pity on her and doesn’t really love her.
Hidden Layer: Since he has never been a “strong man,” Saving Nat makes him feel like the man he wants to be, except it always costs him his life. This is because it’s a “false self.”
Intrigue: The detective gets a phone call, and for some reason is forced to let Natalie go, though we don’t know why yet. (It’s another officer who spoke with Eric. Eric denied that it was Natalie.)
Turning point: Natalie is not held at the police station. No true evidence to prove she had anything to do with the attack.
Act 4
Intrigue: We meet Eric’s overbearing mother, Aggie (Agatha). She’s a little TOO invested in her son.
Mystery: She makes a phone call to someone, and we don’t know who it is, but it seems it could possibly be his ex-wife, and she has a good relationship with her.
Accusation: Detective Bernard speaks to Eric at the hospital, tries to trick Eric into admitting it was Natalie. It doesn’t work.
Strange Behavior: Eric appears too calm, too steady. Has a clip to his voice. He has become Donald, a politician from 1955.
Turning Point: After the detective leaves, Aggie enters. She tells him he is a good boy, and tries to pat his head, but he shoves her hand away. Asks her to leave. This clearly upsets her, but she does as he has asked.
Act 5
Mystery: Eric’s phone rings, and Nat finds it under the bed, where he lost it after being attacked. She sees an unfamiliar number. She answers it, but the person hangs up.
Wound: She takes a bath with the doll, and little Beth comes back. Drowns the doll. Beth is angry. She trusted Henry, and Henry killed her. And now Henry is back in their lives, and not punished for what he’s done. (We don’t know this yet.)
Mystery: At the hospital, Aggie wants to make sure Eric is comfortable. She talks to one of the younger, prettier nurses who slips surreptitiously into Eric’s room and shuts the door.
Turning Point: Aggie walks out of the hospital and at the same time, Natalie sees the message on the mirror.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by Kimberly Gore.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by
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Phyllis’ Stacking Intrigue
I learned from this assignment that stacking intrigue can uncover plot points, new characters, and enhance character motivations.
Act 1:
Intrigue Deception: Delia says she will fight the criminal indictment in court.
Intrigue: Boss and colleague comment to never count Delia out, and express wonder at Sasha’s ability to get indictment.
Intrigue Hidden Agenda: The private investigator makes a phone call right after he leaves Duncan’s mansion.
Intrigue Conspiracy: Delia tells her lawyer to get a back channel to the DOJ.
Intrigue Hidden Layer: Sasha’s “friend with benefits” is hurt by her inability to show commitment.
Intrigue Strange Behavior: The private investigator presses Duncan on what he is “really” looking for
Sasha Turning Point: Sasha learns the oil company is settling with the Department of Justice—thanks to her friend with benefits.
Duncan Turning Point: Duncan finds out his private investigator is betraying him to his sister, Delia.
Act 2:
Intrigue Strange Behavior: Her boss advises her take the win (the fine) and to drop the collusion effort.
Intrigue Conspiracy: Delia contacts somebody about “the evidence.”
Intrigue: Duncan calls the Secretary of the Interior for permission to go to the wildfire zone.
Intrigue Hidden Agenda: Duncan is trying to obtain files on the investigation to get the names of the people who were first on the scene.
Intrigue Deception: Her friend with benefits confirmed that Sasha’s burying evidence was the reason the DOJ went with the settlement.
Intrigue Accusation: Sasha’s boss accuses her of burying evidence.
Sasha Turning Point: Delia has Sasha framed and fired.
Duncan Turning Point: Duncan is arrested for interfering with an investigation.
Act 3:
Intrigue Conspiracy: Delia leaks the story of Sasha’s firing to an online industry newsletter, and it spreads enough to make it come up on her Google page.
Intrigue Mystery: Why is Sasha telling her mother’s she’s fine and instead focusing on her mom’s problems?
Intrigue Secret Identity: Sasha’s boss changes from her mentor into her obstacle as she tells prospective employers that they shouldn’t hire her.
Intrigue Mystery: Delia obtains a list with names on it.
Intrigue Strange Behavior: Duncan’s candidate for new investigator presses him on being open about what he’s really looking for.
Sasha Turning Point: Sasha is forced to move in with her mother because she can’t afford rent. Their relationship is toxic and opens Sasha’s childhood wound.
Duncan Turning Point: Delia lets Duncan know she’ll compromise any investigator he tries to hire—she’s trying to figure out what Duncan is really up to with his investigation into suspicious deaths.
Act 4:
Intrigue Mystery: Why does Duncan need someone with investigative skills to work with him?
Intrigue Strange Behavior: Duncan’s wall of suspicious deaths is a collection of information, not a pattern
Intrigue Hidden Layer: Duncan believes Sasha is his only chance for finding and killing these creatures.
Sasha Turning Point: Sasha is convinced Duncan is delusional and declines the job.
Duncan Turning Point: Duncan’s plan to enlist Sasha, and continue his dream of fighting these creatures, falls apart.
Act 5:
Intrigue Mystery: How can Duncan be going to the crime scene if he was arrested there not long ago?
Intrigue Deception: Sasha deceives the local authorities into believing she’s a consultant for the EPA.
Intrigue Mystery: The crime scene photos deepen the mystery: what happened here?
Intrigue Secret Identity: Sasha is the caretaker, humoring Duncan’s delusions but not letting him go too far.
Intrigue: Sasha convinces Duncan that the answers lie with the bodies.
Turning Point: Sasha and Duncan discover that the bodies were cooked from the inside out and the inside of the house was slightly charred, but not the outside. The temperature had to have quickly risen to 200 degrees to kill those people as they ate dinner. That just doesn’t happen. Also, the outside of the busted door had an unidentifiable scorch mark that Duncan believes was made by a creature. Where do they go from here?
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Lesson 6
Subject: Marcus Stacks Intrigue
What I learned doing this assignment is a good turning point can be amplified by setting it up with intrigue. We have to look for ways to do this. As usual, Hal makes it sound easy to do. It ain’t always so easy. But knowing you have to do it makes your writing purposeful and can yield better results.
Act 1:
Mystery: Beatrix and Cassandra argue vigorously over just how dangerous Trabeus is. Cassandra can’t understand why Beatrix appears to be defending Trabeus. Cassandra says it’s not the first time, either, but Beatrix denies it.
Secret: Beatrix can only do limited magic anymore and with enormous effort. This is the real reason she’s turned to science. She is reluctant to let Cassandra see her magical weakness.
Wound: Cassandra admits that some of her reason for hating Trabeus is personal but won’t elaborate. She holds a grudge and wants revenge.
Hidden Agenda: Beatrix advises Cassandra to stop using magic because she has become a danger to herself. But Beatrix doesn’t want Cassandra to find Trabeus before she does because she’s in love with him. Cassandra can’t know this.
Hidden Layer: There was always a balance of power that kept Cassandra and the coven from being able to destroy Trabeus. But now that everyone is weaker, it might be done. Cassandra thinks she may have a way to get an edge.
Hidden Layer2: Beatrix had always secretly helped Trabeus. This will be seen in the Teaser.
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Turning
Point: During her magical examination, Beatrix also finds that Cassandra’s
weakening state (i.e., old age) has caused her old – yet still active – suppression
spell on Trabeus to weaken. Cassandra believes Trabeus is fundamentally a criminal
who wants to rule the world. Since the spell was cast, Trabeus was believed
to have died. Now they know he’s alive somewhere. And the spell connects
them to him, but especially Cassandra. She and Beatrix argue over what to
do about it.
</div><div></div>
Act 2:
Mystery: Why does Trabeus want to keep Marius under his control so badly that he elects to leave the witness protection program? Partly because he feels his magic returning and gets cocky, but there’s more.
Mystery2: Marius unhappily works for Trabeus and does magic for him that Trabeus can’t do. He appears more powerful than Trabeus, yet fears Trabeus.
Mystery3: After turning on the last gangsters he worked for, he goes to work for local gangsters even while in witness protection.
Intrigue: Trabeus feels the spell on him from Cassandra and the coven weakening. His own power is increasing because of this. He happily tells Marius, but Marius doesn’t seem happy about it, in fact, he seems frightened.
Secret Identity: Trabeus believes that he can rule the world, and can remove injustice. With his power coming back, he resumes his long-abandoned work on a world domination spell.
Secret: Trabeus became disillusioned with politics after being betrayed by more than one King he supported. We will see this in the teaser. He has decided that moving up in the world via the world of crime was the only viable path to world domination. He wants to start by taking over a local gang. His first try at this didn’t go so well.
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Turning
Point: Trabeus and Marius are called to meet with a local gang leader they
do independent jobs for. Trabeus is working from the inside to protect his
neighborhood from the gangster and plans to take him out when the time is
right. The job assignment is to find and get information from a rival gang
member. Unbeknownst to anyone but Marius, Trabeus is magical. He casts a
location spell to find the rival gangster.</div><div></div>
Act 3:
Intriguing world: As Trabeus’ magic returns, Marius advises Trabeus to take it slowly and continue to leave the magic to him, but Trabeus insists on using his own, growing magical power to find the target of their search. Marius, fascinated, admits that how Trabeus casts this spell is far superior to the way he would have done it.
Mystery: Despite his admiration of Trabeus’ seeking spell, Marius contends that they have found the wrong man. Trabeus insists that his seeking spell is infallible, but is nevertheless troubled by Marius’ certainty.
Hidden Agenda: One reason Marius has stayed with Trabeus was to learn to do more powerful magic.
Wound: Marius hates the horrible things Trabeus makes him do. During the interrogation, Marius’ goal is to get information without seriously hurting the target individual. Trabeus allows him to take the lead in the interrogation but joins in unexpectedly and unintentionally fatally.
Accusation: Marius believes Trabeus killed the target intentionally. He is furious.
Mystery: How could an infallible spell fail?
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Turning
Point/Midpoint: With Marius’ help, Trabeus tortures and murders an
innocent man because of Cassandra’s botched spell.
</div><div></div>
Act 4:
Mystery: Trabeus determines that Cassandra’s spell is to blame for his failure to find the right guy. Trabeus orders Marius to find Beatrix, rather than Cassandra. Marius questions this.
Secret: Trabeus reveals to Marius that he had once loved Beatrix and still does.
<div>
Turning
Point: Trabeus eagerly wants to find Beatrix before Cassandra finds him.
Plus, he knows she will help him. But Trabeus can’t try to magically
connect with Beatrix without alerting Cassandra to his whereabouts. Knowing
Beatrix will look for Trabeus, he orders Marius to lay some clues for Beatrix
on the internet – something Trabeus is not capable of doing.
</div><div></div>
Act 5:
Intriguing World: Marius and Beatrix leave the realm of magic and delve into the complexities of the internet.
Deception: Marius is clever with the clues he feeds to Beatrix on the internet. She eagerly follows these clues unaware of Marius’ interventions.
Mystery: Beatrix eventually realizes that someone is intervening in her search, but doesn’t know who.
Hidden Agenda: Beatrix is desperate to find Trabeus to be with him and to defend him against Cassandra. She wants to end the conflict between Trabeus and her coven (read: Cassandra) once and for all, so she can be with him openly.
Deception: Beatrix lies to Cassandra about her progress seeking Trabeus.
Intrigue: Trabeus feels besieged, working against the gang leader on one side and planning a defense against Cassandra on the other. Something has to give. He must focus on one at a time.
Hidden Agenda: Trabeus had been working on helping a pliable member of the gang become the gang leader’s successor. Someone he could control. This one wasn’t really ready, yet, but Trabeus’ time has run out.
Turning
Point: Trabeus must find a way to defend himself against Cassandra, who he
knows will come for him. Trabeus decides to accelerate his plans to kill
the gang leader. Gang leader is promptly replaced by someone worse, who
has latent magical abilities he’s as yet unaware of. -
What I learned: As I was going through the exercise, it all looked very familiar because this is how I write scripts anyway. However, it was interesting to see it develop in outline form, because outlining is usually very frustrating and counterproductive for me–not good if I’m going to have to do it. So the unfolding process is illuminating.
Also, while doing this part, I found a bunch of new insights into the characters and plot lines. A breakthrough for me came when I realized that–and this is something Hal said in the discussion–not everything has to be or even should be spelled out in the pilot. The idea of hinting at (foreshadowing) layers and intrigue etc is what matters.
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Marie Stacks intrigue
What I learned doing this assignment is to use intrigue techniques to brainstorm and make sure I build the intrigues up to the turning points.
I first built it around the main character and then I added the two other characters.
This helped me to finish a first outline so I combined this assignment with the next ones.
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Mod 3 lesson 6: Mary J. Andrews Stacking Intrigue
What I learned from this lesson is that there are options around every turn.T E A S E R: p 1
INTRIGUING WORLD : intro: Earth is gone montage while ship lands.
STRANGE BEHAVIOR: INTRIGUE: MYSTERY:: CAPT. RAEL POINTE (35) is on the bridge, Rael’s eyes are glazed over and his temple implants flash beneath his short platinum hair as he searches for clues for his team to use in their hunt for the psychic terrorist who psi-jacked a Universal Government Ambassador on this pleasure planet.INTRIGUING WORLD: Main wall-screen wall is covered with windows flashing in and disappearing. They include ads for pleasure planet facilities and services / surveillance clips of Ambassador Dash’s sightings across the city shops walkways, facilities. One of the larger screens show Main Port City with wall to wall people perusing shops along walkways and busy traffic recorded as Rael’s ship, Nemesis is landing. Early morning and the place is buzzing with activity. The ship gently settles onto its designated spot.
MYSTERY: DECEPTION: CONSPIRACY: An official communique from the Planetary Retrieval Bureau agents breaks in. Two uniformed men introduce themselves (give names). They request permission to approach Nemesis to return Government Ambassador DASH to Universal Government control team. As per Dark Decree.
All other windows close and a series of new ones appear as Rael verifies their background info. Two agents (give names) appear on screen and introduce themselves. They ask permission to deliver Ambassador Dark to the Nemesis.
DECEPTION: On the viewscreen, every documented record available flashes across the screen while they speak. Rael allows the other windows to drop away and invites them to approach. They sign off–on their way.
INTRIGUE: Rael rises and speaks aloud to the ship to intercom message to get ready for company. His voice echoes across the ship.
INTRIGUE: As Rael leaves the bridge to Main Corridor. Laynald Lockheim (a sharp 63) steps out of the Common Room, adjusting one of his many weapons/dart sheaths. Laynald is not happy about the overly short notice security-wise.
INTRIGUE: From the END OF THE CORRIDOR, Ira Haze (early 20’s) exits his quarters. Rael sends him back to don his Wall Master Robes to jokingly appease Laynald’s worry about security and tells Ira to meet them at the loading bay exit. They leave him standing there alone.
UNINTENDED WOUND: INTRIGUE: HIDDEN LAYER: Ira is incensed. He snags up the long stylized Wall Master robe, dons it, straightens it and shakes his head. A glance in the mirror shows his prismatic eyes glitter in the light. He pulls the hood over his head. Why do they not notice the fear his eyes inflict?
ACCUSATION The Elevator doors close after Ira enters . He lifts his head to look straight into the surveillance cam and says, ” not funny, Rael.”
In the Holding Bay, Rael and Laynald are waiting at the bay exit while gang plank rolls out. Rael’s temples flicker and Rael chuckles. Laynald asks what’s up and Rael relays Ira’s lack of appreciation for his comment.
Laynald shakes his head and bemoans the youngling’s lack of a sense of humor.STRANGE BEHAVIOR: DECEPTION: The gang plank is down. Rael and Laynald exit ship to meet with the Planetary agents who are pushing a gurney with Ambassador Dash lashed to it. He is quiet today. As they come up the gangway, the Ambassador lets out a curdling scream. The guard nearest Rael whips out a weapon and attempts to shoot Rael, who in turn, knocks the weapon out of his hand. The guard body slams Rael off the plank and they both end up on the ground.
DECEPTION: The other guard tries to run the gurney into Laynald, who steps aside and dives over to where Rael is and pegs Rael’s assailant with a specially tinctured dart. The guard drops.
INTRIGUE: Ira arrives at the doorway and manages to throw the second guard off balance by grabbing the gurney with the still howling Ambassador upon it. Looking down at the other guard he allows his hood to slide back revealing his prismatic eyes. The guard freezes and Ira speaks softly saying one word: pain. The mad doubles over.
From the ground by Rael, Laynald pegs the man with another dart and drops him. Ira asks why he did that and Laynald quip that somethings he just can’t help.. Laynald tells Ira to take the yowling ambassador to sickbay and Ira does.
TURNING POINT: MYSTERY: Ira pushes the gurney toward the elevator and tries to quiet the ambassador but it doesn’t work. At sickbay, Ira removes his gloves and stands over the moaning man unaware of the youth. Ira reaches down and touches him. Flesh to Flesh contact, manages to mind meld with the man who goes silent. They stand locked together for a moment and then Ira stiffens and collapses to the floor.
A C T 1
WOUND: Hidden Layers Ira awakens in sickbay. Laynald is there to check out his status and Ambassador is still tied to gurney, but unconscious. (Laynald quieted him with a dart) They banter a bit (healer / assassin as a strange combination/ a dart as an empathy deterrent—an act of kindness for both Ira and Dash… and then report to the Commons room to meet and eat. Ira reports what he learned from the meld:
Laynald reports he has placed the Ambassador in a cryo-tube for safe keeping and to spare him and Ira the pain . mention that Ira is also an empath.
WOUND: HIDDEN AGENDA: Ira Haze reports mind-jacker is still linked to the Ambassador’s mind and is herself being tortured to inflict pain: He becomes determined to rescue her as well as the Ambassador. Perhaps she can be turned to help them capture the terrorists. Ira identifies with slave training…decides to save psi-jacker as well as Ambassador.
Rael fills in what he has team from his searches. They have a plan. They are ready to start a search.
TURNING POINT: Ira insists they save the girl despite debate?A C T 2
INTRIGUING WORLD: Team backtracks the ambassador’s last known route,
STRANGE BEHAVIOR: HIDDEN AGENDA: Rael is mind-jacked and lured away from his team. Laynald corrals Rael and Ira brings him back to reality but cannot force the woman to release him. The team decides to release Rael and follow him to where he is being lured. But what if he loses them in the crowd? Ira pries something from Rael’s hand.
The team catch up with Rael and the woman. Ira punches Rael in the jaw to break her spell over him. The backlash sends her to the floor. Laynald darts her and they take her with them through the lower level exit. Rael is barely lucid. She has him under her control. They return to the Nemesis and lift off. Team catches up to Rael and captures the psi-jacker. Take her to Nemesis & leave Tanivol
TURNING POINT: HIDDEN AGENDA: It is a token with an arrow which points the same direction no matter how it is turned. It reads: this way to The Palace. Laynald releases Rael
Midpoint p30
The team tracks Rael and Tristen through the Pleasure Palace with few problems. Nothing about it makes sense. Laynald believes they are being toyed with.The team catch up with Rael and the woman. Ira punches Rael in the jaw to break her spell over him. The backlash sends her to the floor. Laynald darts her and they take her with them through the lower level exit. Rael is barely lucid. She has him under her control. They return to the Nemesis and lift off. Team catches up to Rael and captures the psi-jacker. Take her to Nemesis & leave Tanivol
TURNING POINT: Ira punches Rael in the jaw to break her spell over him. The backlash sends her to the floor. Laynald darts her and they take her with them through the lower level exit. Rael is barely lucid. She has him under her control. They return to the Nemesis and lifts off.
A C T 3
Rael is undone. Tristen has him entranced and unable to function. He is miserable.
Finally, Laynald calls him to sickbay where he’s taken Tristen (unconscious) to examine her. Ira is already there. Rael can barely control himself. Laynald reports what he’s discovered. Ira cannot help but feel Rael’s condition.
Turning Point: Ira steps in and tells Rael he will make this right. Laynald escorts Rael away and places 3 small magnetic sonic disruptors activation points around the sickbay in case Ira loses control of her. Ira rewrites Tristen
TURNING POINT: Ira reprograms Tristen enslaving her to Rael to free the captain and the ambassador—the mission.
A C T 4
4Group reassembles in sickbay. Ira has impressed Tristen to believe she is now Rael’s slave. He has come full circle, now forcing his will upon her to benefit his captain. It does not sit well with him but when Tristen sees Rael she releases him immediately. Rael will name her Tristen here
TURNING POINT: and she will respond to his questions about her background by showing them all what her past was like. introducing the Oracle World and claiming to be a Chosen One.
A C T 5
Rael compu-links with Ira’s mind through Tristen to discover what was done to the ambassador and why?
They learn that the terrorists are seeking information about Rael specifically.
Ira must heal Tristen’s mind her from afterwards, because paranormal and Rael’s compu-links are incompatible,
TURNING POINT: Rael is notified his mother and boss, the Head of Dark Ops is dying.===================================================
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Act 1: Jake having breakfast with family. Lupe tries to get Jake to stay. Jake dismises threat of hurricane and says he’s going to the conference, in spite of the prediction that the tropical storm will turn into the worst hurricane in history. Lupe seems out of Jake’s league. How did he land her? Why is Marco having breakfast with the family? Why are the boys at the table on their best behavior? Jake teases the boys of wanting something? Do they?
Turning point: Jake ignores Lupes pleas and decides to go to medical conference.Act 2: Jake leaves for medical conference. Lupe orchestrates escape. Tropical storm growing stronger? Will it turn into the worst hurricane ever? Why doesn’t Lupe try harder to convince Jake to stay instead of throwing a tantrum? Why is Jake so dismissive and calling her childish? Why doesn’t he stay when there is a threat of a bad hurricane?
Turning point: Jake leaves for conference.Act 3: Category 6 hurricane headed their way. Lupe rushes everyone out of house. What is Marco doing to Jake’s computer? Why is Dolores packing santeria shit calmly while everyone is rushing to get out? Why is Dolores so calm? Why so many lit candles in her closet? What is Marco doing with a moving van? Aren’t they just evacuating?
Turning point: Tropical storm becomes hurricane. Predicted to hit land within the hour.Act 4: Hurricane is about to touch down. Lupe and family leave. But why are they taking everything? What’s up with the burner phones? Why doesn’t Lupe pick up when Jake calls and instead throw everyone’s phones in the bushes? Why would Lupe rob her own husband?
Turning point: Family leaves.Act 5: Lupe in hotel with kids and Dolores. Why has everyone changed their appearance? What’s with all the folders on the bed? Jake comes home. Why is everything gone? His family is out of state. Are they on the lam? Are they planning to contact Jake? What’s going on with Dolores? Who is she talking to on the burner phone?
Turning point: Jake shares pic of Lupe with media to find her.Lock in/Turning Point: Lupe on TV with photo. Jake being questioned by cops for possession of child porn. Why is Lupe on the lam? What do the cops want? Why aren’t they interested in the empty house? Or listening to Jake’s concern for Lupe and kids? Why didn’t Jake call them as soon as he got home? Why does Lupe enjoy seeing her photo on TV? Shouldn’t she be worried? Why is the police accusing a pediatrician of running a child pornography ring?
Turning point: Jake robbed and framed for child porn by his wife.
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