-
Day 6 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
-
16 Replies
-
Judith’s Mystery Sequence
L6 -Homework
What I learned doing this lesson is creating mystery chains can make my thriller more exciting.
What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up? Rachel has come to Emily pretending to make up but in reality, she is here to make her life miserable, kill her and take over her life.
How many ways can they cover up that secret?
She brings her flowers to her art gallery show.
She pretends she and their mom want to start the unification by having Christmas together.
She pretends to support her when the red herring is accused of sabotaging her aret work.
She lies to her that she saw the Red Herring destroy her art supplies in the barn/art studio.
She kills the detective before he can tell Emily her mother is dead and so is Rachel.
She sets It up to look like Eugene is having an affair.
She calls the adoption agency and tells the woman Emily is a drug attack and she is not fit to be a mother.
She destroys Emily’s paintings at the art show by burning it down.
Emily finds out that her mom was killed in a fire and that Rachel was supposedly killed in a fire and she is not dead by here.
Emily goes to confront Rachel but she has disappeared. The clerk gives her a clue as to where she might have gone.
The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it. The first mystery is why Rachel showed up after all these years pretending to want unification.
The detective goes to investigate the fire at Rachel’s house. All think that Rachel and her mom are dead.
He contacts Emily to tell her about the tragedy. Rachel changes the location of the meet. Meets with him and kills him.
Emily calls his police department wanting to find out what the detective wanted to tell her.
She finds out that her mom and sister were killed in a fire, but Rachel is alive.
Sequence the mystery so they lead into the next one.
The movers are late in picking up the art to move to the gallery for the show.
Rachel shows up at the art show pretending reunification desire.
Emily accepts Rachel into her life to see if reunification will work. Christmas a good time to try.
Someone calls the adoption agency and tells them Emily is a drug addict. The adoption is delayed.
Emily’s paintings are destroyed in a fire at the gallery.
Emily sees her husband with another woman and thinks he is having an affair.
A detective calls Emily to talk to her. Prefers it in person.
He is killed.
Emily discovers that Rachel and her mom were both supposed to be killed in the house fire.
Emily goes to confront Rachel but she has disappeared.
The hotel clerk gives her a clue as to where Rachel went. Then pockets a $100 bill.
Emily follows up and she and Rachel have a big fight and Rachel tries to kill her.
Rachel tries to kill Emily’s husband.
Rachel kidnaps the little girl Emily is trying to adopt.
-
Jack’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned from this assignment is that to make a great thriller one has to have a red herring and keep the audience from the truth until the end.
CONCEIVED
Big Secret: Jung is collecting the DNA of the most powerful, wealthiest women along with that of the women with the highest IQ and best athletic ability to mate with his clone in a fifty year plan.
How can he cover this up? Jung uses a Russian to buy the DNA from cryogenics labs and to bribe funeral directors and to steal frozen eggs. He also uses a red herring, Professor Matthews, who has frozen Victoria and Kayla’s eggs.
Victoria is immediately drawn into the mystery because she hears she has a child she didn’t know about and must find him.
Victoria’s first stop is the cryogenics lab where she stored her eggs with her lover Kayla, but they are still there. Professor Matthews is fired and she moves her eggs, but not before the Professor switches hers with Kayla’s for spite.
CASTING CALL
Big Secret: Porn star Angela is actually a Saudi intelligence agent seeking information about the Iranian nuclear program.
How can she cover this up? She maintains a life as a porn star. She uses farm girl Sandi as a way to get the information she seeks from Fareem, the Iranian oil man who knows who the most powerful men in Iran are and is secretly blackmailing them so he can become head of OPEC.
Protagonist Lyla is immediately involved when Sandi is sexually abused by red herring BO, and then must stop Sandi from being flown to Iran as a sex slave when Bo introduces Sandi to Fareem, who treats her very well in a scheme to trick her into thinking she will be flying to San Fran.
-
Michelle’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned is…being methodical about setting up the mysteries and the steps to setting them up throughout the story.
What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
- Adam is covering up that he is murdering people close to Griffin.
How many ways can they cover that secret?
- No one suspects Adam because he does not appear to have a motive. With the focus on Griffin, Adam can easily cover up the murders.
The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
- Griffin’s former best friend dies.
- Griffin and her former best friend publicly argued.
- Griffin was the last person to see her alive and she has no one to vouch for her alibi.
- Detectives immediately suspect her.
Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.
- The Red Herring in the mystery is Griffin; whether she is innocent or not because she did have motive to murder her colleagues.
Main Mystery: Who is killing those closest to Griffin?
• The first victim and Griffin get into a noticeable tiff in front of Adam.
• The first victim used to be Griffin’s best friend before she turned her in for violently bullying another student.
• Griffin and the first victim end up at the same bar together and fight in front of others.
• Griffin drives the first victim home because she’s had too much to drink, making her the last person who saw the victim alive.
• The second victim is Griffin’s mentor. While talking it is mentioned that Griffin had to leave her last job and that the mentor helped Griffin get the job at the hospital so she can be near her father after her mother’s death.
• Griffin ‘harasses’ the surgeon who did Adam’s heart transplant trying to get answers as to why he administered a certain drug during the procedure.
• The mentor and Griffin argue in the clinic about Griffin harassing the surgeon. Both Adam and a clinic assistant witness the argument.
• The hospital CEO asks the mentor’s recommendation about firing Griffin.
• The mentor is found dead the next day.
•The hospital CEO gives a press conference that is picked up by the local television station.
• The hospital CEO is found murdered
Mystery #2: Did Griffin’s dad, Ennis, know that his best friend was a murderer?
• Boyd was Ennis’ best friend.
• They both received a Mayor’s Award for trying to ‘save’ a woman who had been attacked at their local fishing spot. That woman ended up dying.
• Griffin knows that Adam received Boyd’s heart.
• Ennis takes Griffin to the spot where the attack happened saying there is good fishing there but don’t fish after midnight because the trees cover the moonlight.• Griffin’s mom leaves her a box of things. In the box is the videotape of a local newscaster interviewing Ennis after he received the Mayor’s award. Griffin finds a note from her mother that she doesn’t understand where her mother calls her “inquisitive” and seems to indicate she’s sorry about something.
• After it is revealed that Adam is the murderer, Griffin remembers the newscaster saying that it was 2:00am when Boyd and Ennis were fishing and ‘found’ the female victim.
• Griffin confronts her dad about why they were actually at the fishing spot after midnight if there was no good fishing after midnight.
Mystery #3: Who was the original serial killer that plagued the community?
• A string of homeless people and sex workers have been killed in the community over the years.
• Boyd and Ennis both received a Mayor’s Award for trying to ‘save’ a woman who had been attacked at their local fishing spot. That woman ended up dying.
• After watching a news interview with her father when he received the Mayor’s Award, it is mentioned that Boyd and Ennis found the woman around 2 am while they were fishing.
• Boyd’s wife seems relieved when she is told he has died.
• Griffin saves Adam’s next victim and uncovers him to be the most recent murderer.• After she receives a Mayor’s Award for saving Adam’s last victim, she pieces together the newscaster interview and her father saying no good fishing happens after midnight.
-
Subject Line: Patricia’s Mystery Sequence for The Engine of Our Destruction.
What I learned is I have the mysteries needed for my stage play.
What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
Xtopher is creating a secret digital wearable conscience.The cover-ups.
- Hire Kamiri.
- Focus Kamiri’s ethics probe on autonomous vehicles.
- Sabotage autonomous vehicles to cause a crisis.
- Claim he’s working on a ransomeware recovery project
- Secretly conduct meetings with the monks, the LA
archdiocese, Scientologists, and so on.
Get Leo to assign Kamiri to testify to the Senate
subcommittee. - Give a Ver-2 to Kamiri’s mom, the Senator.
The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
- Why do you need AI for ransomeware recovery? You
don’t.
Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the
next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.Hire Kamiri.
- Who is Kamiri?
Kamiri was a hacker.
- Kamiri hasn’t had a job for years.
- Kamiri needs to restore her reputation in the tech
world, so she will be a pushover. - Kamiri was his lover so he can manipulate her.
Focus Kamiri’s ethics probe on autonomous vehicles.
- What is happening with Bubble autonomous vehicles?
- PerfecShawn acts guilty, is set up as an adversary to
Kamiri. - The accident with legal counsel was an autonomous
vehicle problem. - PerfecShawn was a hacker.
Xtopher claims he’s working on a ransomeware recovery project.
- What is he really working on? AI not required for ransomeware recovery.
- Secretly conduct meetings with the monks, the LA
archdiocese, Scientologists, and so on.These don’t seem like ransomeware clients.
- Get Leo to assign Kamiri to testify to the Senate
subcommittee. - When ransomeware appears on Bubble’s computers, Xtopher doesn’t know what to do.
- Gives a Ver-2 device to Kamiri’s mother.
</div>
-
This reply was modified 3 years ago by Patricia Milton.
-
What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up? <div>
Maksim had an affair with Joe’s wife, Margo, that produced a son, Nikolai.
How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.
a. Have Joe hire Nikolai, his/Maksim’s son, as her assistant, Attorney.
b. Joe does not know Maksim is not dead and behind the casino issues.</div><div>
c. Have Nikolai, a charming bad guy, negotiate with the Union.
d. Hide the fact that Nickolai AKA Nicky is Maksim’s son.
e. Nickolai doesn’t know that he’s Joe’s son not Maksim’s son.
f. Have Nikolai choose which daughter/sister to kidnap.
g. Maksim doesn’t reveal the real reason for his hatred for Joe/ but tells Nikolai Joe left him for dead.
h. Maksim doesn’t reveal to his son that he had an affair with Joe’s Margo.
i. Maksim does not reveal to his son that Joe’s not the bad guy, but he/Maksim is.
j. Nikolai has an affair/ but instead falls in love with one sister/daughters.
k. Daughter does not know Nikolai is her brother/incest beginning.
3. The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
a. Joe does not know Maksim is not dead
<b style=”text-decoration: underline;”>4, Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.</div><div>
1st RED HERRING MYSTERY: John Benedetti and the Union
1. Joe’s family is being threatened by the union with mailed letters.
2. Casino business is being threatened by the Union due to contract issues.
3. Create a fire that kills employees.</div><div>
4. Push drugs in the Casino & blame it on employees – arresting who?
5. Hire hackers to infiltrate the IT system-steal Whales info./marketing.
6. John admits he took money to work in favor of the unions/not his best friend, Joe, and not knowing that Maksim was behind it all.
2<sup>nd</sup> MYSTEREY – Who then, if not the unions is really behind the chaos/destruction?
1. Old Mob enemies of Joe/Tony and his friends?
2. Drug Cartel who want to buy the casino at a low price?
3. Russian -foreign money underworld or laundering Mob who want to buy the casino at a low price?
4. Addict Giovanna to drugs & sex with the drug pushing band leader.
3<sup>rd</sup> MYSTEREY – Who kidnaped Joe’s daughter?
1. Mexican Cartel Drug dealers?
2. Romanian cheaters?
3. Who hates Joe enough to destroy him/family/casino?
4. Will Joe reinvent his bad relationship with Tony, Margo’s father?
5. Will Joe’s daughter be rescued? Alive or dead?
4<sup>th</sup> MYSTERY – Will Joe figure out that Maksim is alive/destroying him?
5<sup>th</sup> MYSTERY – Will Nikolai discover his father’s secret about him?
6<sup>th</sup> MYSTERY – Will Joe and his daughters discover that Nikolai is their son and brother via perfect mother Margo’s indiscretion with Maksim.</div>
7<sup>th</sup> MYSTERY – Will Nikolai and Joe’s daughter cut their ties, or continue the incestuous relationship?
8<sup>th</sup> MYSTERY – Will Joe kill Maksim or release him to authorities or Maksim escapes?
9th MYSTERY – WIll Nikolai forgive Maksim for using him in his revenge scheme and stay with Maksim or join his newly found real family/Joe and his sisters? He could inherit the Casino?
-
What I learned is that outlining sequences leads to outlining the entire script
Ian Patrick’s Mystery Sequence
Create your mystery sequence. Give us the answer to these questions.
What is the big secret that the
Villain is covering up?Assassinate the city’s Mayor, pin it on the Black community and hope for a race war
How many ways can they cover
that secret? Those become the mysteries.Commit a number of assaults, murders and false flag actions, leaving clues that lead to Black leaders
The first mystery must engage
the Hero into solving it.During a neo-Nazi march, one of the members is struck by a fleeing car; he claims the driver was Black and he was targeted
Sequence the mysteries so that
each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you
can.Neo-Nazi struck by a car
A Korean grocer is shot outside his store
A Black suspect is arrested; someone in a gathered crowd shoots and kills a white police officer
At the officer’s funeral, rifle fire sprays the crowd; a BLM flyer is found
RED HERRING: neo-Nazi leader is wounded by the same rifle; evidence is planted to implicate the Hero
Police attend a BLM march; is there going to be violence on both sides?
Create a Mystery Chain for each
main mystery.MYSTERY 1: Who is targeting white supremacist groups, Jewish Americans, Korean Americans and cops?
A neo–Nazi marcher is struck by a car; he claims the driver was one of a group of African-American protesters
A Korean American grocer is surrounded for firing a Black teen who was working for him; he’s shot
Police try to arrest the alleged gun owner; officer is shot from a distance by a high powered rifle.
At the officer’s funeral, rifle fire sprays the crowd; a BLM flyer is found
Hero detective investigates possible owner at a gun range; he’s shot at
MYSTERY 2: Are militant Black groups guilty or are they victims of a false flag operation?
Black groups deny all knowledge
Right wing talk show hosts demand action against them
Is it true the lack of arrests is due to the Mayor being afraid of losing Black votes?
MYSTERY 3: Who is the shooter?
A racist? A Black militant? Ex–military? Someone with PTSD?
If it’s the work of racists, why was the neo-Nazi leader wounded by the same shooter?
MYSTERY 4: Is there a master plan behind it all?
Is the wounded neo-Nazi leader really the leader of his group?
Will his group succeed in calling for a national race war?
What might be the final act that could cause them to succeed?
-
Eric Humble’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned is: that structuring a mystery story is much clearer, more logical, and less contrived when I approach it as the villain’s secrets being covered up. The idea of looking at a mystery as a villain’s secret has been a huge breakthrough for me, which I’ve been processing for a few days. This is the aspect of writing a thriller that has been the most problematic for me, as I have always approached it from the hero/audience’s perspective and found myself bogged down in complicated plot machinations which often stymie me. I’m very excited by what we’re learning in this class and can’t wait to see how my MIS show up in this script!
What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
Leiber works for a cabal of NATO leaders bucking their own policies to try and strengthen the smaller countries once the US is out of the way as a superpower.
How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.
Mystery #1: Who killed the first chef? WIll Raf be next?
Cover: Leiber recruits Raf because the previous chef’s security check revealed he had political sympathies with one of the world leaders.
The first chef’s corpse is hanging in the meat freezer which is off-limits.
The first chef left a warning carved into the handle of his chef’s knife: Poison.
Dessert. Russian Bl…
No one knows why the first chef left. Leiber claims his security clearance didn’t
check out, something about his background. But Salvatore says it’s bullshit. The chef didn’t have a political bone in his body.
There was a dust-up when the chef wanted to change the dessert to something low sugar and vegan for everyone; everyone could have it and it didn’t conflict with anyone’s dietary requirements. Several of the NATO leaders’s staff objected and Leiber threatened to replace him unless he stuck to the pre-cleared menu.
Everything was going fine with the chef until he inspected the pantry. Then suddenly he was gone and replaced with Raf.
Raf inspects the pantry and finds rat poison – thallium – tucked in a hole behind the insulation. It cartridge is almost empty… the poison has been removed.
Secret: The first chef discovered the plot to poison the world leaders with thallium poison then bake the antidote, the pigment for Prussian Blue, in the dessert cake icing… knowing that the US President is diabetic and won’t eat it.
Mystery: Where is the poison?
Cover: The poison is somewhere in the kitchen and it will be administered by dessert.
Raf switches kitchens and orders everything recooked immediately with fresh
ingredients he commandeers a Secret Service agent to bring in from the outside.
But before he serves it, Leiber feeds it to a man they’ve taken prisoner in a
holding cell, ostensibly as a bluff (believing Raf has eliminated the possibility of
poison). The man eats it – and dies. The poison isn’t in the kitchen – it’s being
handled by one of the kitchen staff.
Raf orders everyone to switch clothes with the person to their left. Then has
everyone check their pockets. Nothing.
Raf realizes the poison isn’t in the kitchen – it was in the water the prisoner was
drinking in his cell.
Secret: Lieber has already poisoned all the world leaders — positioning
everyone but the president to get the antidote at dessert.
Mystery: Who is setting Raf up?
Cover: Leiber discovers Raf has a Swiss bank account and there is video looking like Raf has been paid off to assassinate someone.
Raf gets a call from his business partner about an audit resulting from an undisclosed bank account. Their restaurant is in jeopardy.
Lieber brings him into the restricted area for questioning. Shows him the video looking like he’s receiving a payoff.
Lieber knows he’s been in contact with the Chinese President, against protocol.
Secret: Leiber is setting Raf up to take the fall for the assassination.
Red Herring Mystery: Cover: Salvatore is a line cook who knew the previous chef and is helping Raf find out what he was up to.
Salvatore lies about being Spanish – he was born in Montenegro.
Salvatore is in contact with someone above in the peace talks via coded
messages left in the dirty napkins.
Raf searches the kitchen staff’s things for poison… and Salvatore attacks him.
He doesn’t see that it’s Salvatore, just that he hurt the assailant’s hand.
Salvatore burns his hand to cover the wound that Raf made.
Salvatore won’t switch clothes with the other cooks.
Raf catches Salvatore stashing something in a loose brick… it’s poison.
But the poison isn’t lethal – it’ll make you sick but it’s very hard to kill someone
with it.
Secret: Salvatore is a sleeper agent for one of the smaller NATO countries
unhappy that peace will come at the cost of it seceding a small tract of land to
Russia, despite the US President and NATO leaders’s endorsement of this
concession. His mission is to disrupt the peace treaty by making one of the
world leaders ill… but not to hurt anyone.
Mystery: Why is Leiber doing this?
Cover: Leiber is head of the Secret Service detail overseeing security for the G7 Peace Talks Summit.
Leiber has contacts in all the countries represented in NATO.
Chinese spies observed Leiber having unscheduled meetings in Switzerland and
Montenegro with aides and staff members to NATO leaders… but not the leaders
themselves.
One member of NATO, a firebrand, is in a violent, drunken argument – railing that
NATO always follows the US’s lead, even now when US credibility is low. If
they’re as united as they say, NATO can be its own superpower without US
Involvement. Rav is ordered to give him coffee and settle his stomach and mind
with a snack… and gets the sense this man has already gotten a system in
place, a cabal waiting in the wings to take over the lead in foreign policy if the US
makes another false step.
Secret: Leiber works for a cabal of NATO leaders bucking their own policies to
try and strengthen the smaller countries once the US is out of the way as a
Superpower.
The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
Raf discovers the original chef’s dead body in the meat freezer, with a warning carved into the chef’s knife: Poison. Dessert. Russian Bl…
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Mystery Sequence
What I learned from doing this assignment was to take the secrets of the villain and brainstorm the mysteries and cover ups to develop the mystery sequence.
1. What is the big secret the villain is covering up? Ford knows how and why Patricia died.
2. How many ways can they cover that secret? Ford can provide evidence to lead the investigators in another direction. Ford can hide the information that Patricia knew. Ford can discredit Patricia with fraud charges. Ford can provide false information about his firm. Ford can leverage his corrupt political relationships to help him.
3. The first mystery must engage the hero. Charlotte is devastated when she discovers her mentor at the lobby firm is dead. She must find out why.
4. Sequence the mysteries:
Mystery 1: Why did Patricia commit suicide?
Cover up: Ford provides evidence to throw the investigators off his involvement.
Secret: Ford knew Patricia had discovered his ties to foreign governments.
Cover up: Charlotte does not reveal the usb she received from Patricia to the investigators.
Secret: She has the information on foreign governments but does not understand.
Mystery 2: What did Patricia know?
Cover up: Ford has generic contracts with foreign governments to hide the real purpose.
Secret: Ford uses foreign funds to support politicians through advocacy organizations and super pacs.
Mystery 3: What does Ford have to do with Patricia’s death?
Cover up: Ford tries to discredit Patricia to justify her death.
Secret: Ford set Patricia up with fraud charges to be filed to ruin her career and conceal his fraud.
Mystery 4: Does Charlotte understand the breadth of the corruption, and will she be able to finish what her mentor started?
Cover up: Charlotte continues with firm and attends to business at hand.
Secret: Charlotte continues to investigate the USB contacts and contracts.
Cover up: Charlotte befriends several politicians to gain information.
Secret: Charlotte is providing the information to the CIA.
Mystery 5: Just how big and how high up does the foreign corruption go?
Cover up: Ford tries to set Charlotte up.
Secret: Ford suspects she is on to his foreign contract scheme.
Cover up: Charlotte knows it is a set up and obtains his trust.
Secret: The CIA has her back.
Mystery 6: Who in the government will expose the corruption?
Cover up: Speaker of the House is aware of the corruption and the funding mechanism but will not act.
Secret: Speaker of the House believes that if she exposes, the government will fall.
Cover up: Politician hires PR firm to spread his “nothing to lose” image.
Secret: Politician is able to compile the documentation to expose the corruption.
-
LESSON 6 Crafting the Mystery Sequence – What I learned. for Friends in High Places
Because of Hal’s advice, thank you so much for all the eye openers concerning intrigue you bring to the forefront. I have all the mystery stuff well established. That’s always been the easy part for me. Concerning Friends in High Places, I have needed to both rethink an existing autobiographical script and story I’ve already worked on since 2015. It is sci fi and a thriller. As far as the “who done it” and how the hero faces the villain, I had to combine various real events I have experienced first-hand as a clairvoyant and use an actual incident of real murders I have seen who the killer was and the police never apprehended the killer. Ugh. The killer(s) are all deceased now but never caught by the police. They hid their evidence really well except that I actually saw in real life the evidence and who the killer was frightening me for my own life because he knew I had identified a gun he had, knowing clairvoyantly by exact name who gave it to him. His daughter also knew that I knew and had to not say anything because he had been convinced my visions were authentic The victims were not innocent helpless people so I decided to let God be the judge in all this. I have all the police detective stuff down because my former father-in-law had been head detective in Norristown, PA and I saw and sometimes experienced first-hand cat and mouse police engagement. My father-in-law never believed in psychics until he met me. Because of this his department began using another psychic down in Delaware to solve all his big time high profile murder cases. That alone is a story unto itself.
Go to the end of the story and identify the big secret. The big secret often points to other secrets that need to be covered. The villain’s big secret that has been covered up since the very first scene is that he is the serial killer at large, and as the chaplain for the Las Vegas Metro Police Department, he gets away with it because he’s faking being confined to a wheel chair, appearing thusly not able to commit any strangulations. As his cover as well, it can be confirmed that he actually is a Catholic deacon, providing liturgy, word, and service, having assisting in New York having gone into the Catholic Church while married assisting bishops and priests. This turn to religion was while he would go through physical therapy but with no resolve for a crippling shooting while an NYPD detective leaving him not only crippled but impotent. His socialite wife had left him then however because he became impotent and he as well found out that she always ran around on him and allegedly ran off with a fireman having a liking for men in uniform. This information is only revealed in the denouement by the Detective Sue Hart who has found this out while investigating members of the Las Vegas Metro Police Department for a possible suspect. The Chaplain’s disability made him a very unlikely suspect. His motive as a killer was to get revenge against his wife projecting onto other socialites.
The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it. It is that Warren has a vision of his mother-in-law being strangled before it happens, but mostly why his mother-in-law? She doesn’t fit the type of the serial killer victims, single, middle aged, and a socialite. She is none of these.
In the chain of mysteries we find although the LVPD won’t take a report on a murder which hasn’t happened yet the Chaplain at the PD takes an interest in knowing more about Warren’s visions. Why, if the Chaplain is warning Warren not to trust visions he may have because they may be demonic as warned by the scriptures? It’s because we learn the Chaplain only in the end we find out is the killer and wanted to learn more from Warren’s visions so not to be caught.
The second mystery concerning the villain is why does he have interest in a missing rake Warren sees in his vision. It’s solved at the end because the rake has blood on it which can be used as evidence to connect the strangler when the blood is found on a blanket wrapping one of his victims. Evidently the blood was a result of the killer, the Chaplain, cutting his arm on the rake while burying one of the bodies which has not been recovered yet until the very end which proves his guilt but only after he has been shot by a security guard friend of Warren watching his in-laws’ house expecting it to be broken into by the killer trying to retrieve the rake to keep it from the police.
The Red Herring is to create misdirection while the Villain gets away with most of his or her plan. Because it is determined that the serial killer most likely is or has been in police or military training to know how to viciously strangle a victim to kill them the Detective Sue Hart must investigate all of the surrounding police department personnel narrowing down her search. We need to keep our audience wondering and investigating two or three suspects. The police lieutenant above Detective Sue Hart is Bill Bono who seems not at all suspicious at first. He did however hire Sue Hart as new detective with very little experience. Perhaps he did this so not to have anyone who is more accredited handle the case and solve it. Also, he was adamant about not taking the report of Warren having a vision of a murder before it happens being the first person to discredit Warren and belief in taking a lead from a psychic. So Sue without question goes along with him on this, Bill being her superior. Bono also fits the description because of his military background, being a cop of course, and not married. One of the victims at the coroner’s office it has been pointed out the manner in which the hyoid bone was crushed. So, the coroner suggests the killer was obviously military or police having such training.
-
Ian Patrick’s Life Threatening Sequence.
What I learned is to be specific in outlining life threatening sequences
What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?
To cause so much anger and fear against Black Americans that a race war breaks out and the Aryans reign supreme. The Hero detective is in charge of investigating a series of assaults and murders.
What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?
Threats
Physical danger
Surveillance / watched
Chased
Lured into a dangerous situation
Trapped / Abducted /
People around them die or are injured.
Stalked
Thugs or professionals hired to hurt them.
Presence of weapons or thugs
Something that damages their reputation
.Loss of a job or career.
A demand to stop pursuing the mystery.
Betrayal from someone close.
Sequence those dangers in order and make a list like the one I did for Basic Instinct above.
Hero detective assigned to keep the peace at neo–Nazi march; one marcher is struck by a car; claiming the driver was one of a group of African-American protesters
A Korean American grocer is surrounded for firing a Black teen who was working for him; he’s shot
Police try to arrest the alleged gun owner; officer is shot from a distance by a high powered rifle.
At the officer’s funeral, rifle fire sprays the crowd; a BLM flyer is found
Hero detective investigates possible rifle owner at a gun range; he’s shot at
A racist cop is confronted and confesses he planted evidence implicating the hero
Hero joins other cops at another march where they expect violence
Hero deduces the Mayor will be the actual target
Hero races to a building 2 miles away from the spot of the Mayor’s speech knowing that the killer’s rifle has that kind of range
He confronts the killer who captures him
Hero defeats Villain just before the assassination
-
Mona Miller’s Mystery Sequence
What
I learned from this is the importance of having simple, clear ideas, and
then executing them logically, in sequence, with the “cover up/secret”
model Hal has provided.1. The big secret that the Villain (Ali Patel) is covering up is how he is able to fund the terrorist training camp and keep its real activities unknown. The mountain climbing expeditions allow Ali Patel a perfect cover to bring in supplies, including food and medicine, but also weapons, and then take down trainees (masquerading as poor villagers).
Ways to cover up the big secret:
Hide in plain sight: the expeditions are advertised, including to very wealthy, well-known people who like extreme mountain climbing. Wealthy climbers pay, terrorists come with them (posing as helpers, staff, etc.). It all looks legit.
“Humanitarian mission” label allows doctors, medicines, etc. to be carried up. Even some governmental restrictions are relaxed. Politicians look favorably on this activity – brings in tourism and revenue, medical and humanitarian aid. (All the supplies being hauled up include ammunition, weapons, materiel.)
Mountain climbing is dangerous. “Accidents” accomplished in a variety of ways (equipment failures, substitutions of equipment, etc.) can cover up executions, eliminations of disloyal people, suspicious climbers who might report something to the authorities, etc.
Battle with the elements. Conditions alone are very difficult – someone may get hypothermia, not adjust properly to altitude, scrape himself and wound gets infected, etc.
Communications are difficult and controlled. Remoteness of mountains ensures that surveillance is difficult; people can’t phone for help; hard to get messages in and out.
Climbers need to depend on each other. Most difficult and remote parts of journey require more than one person – it’s too difficult to do alone. The climbers have to trust and rely upon each other.
Medical assistance on every trek means a doctor is there to save – or possibly kill – any injured person.
First mystery – Travel Agent who took a bribe from our hero, Brett Dean, to get him on the trek at the last minute, has a serious accident. Dean saves him, at great personal risk. Patel steps in, appears to be heroically paying for medical evacuation by helicopter, sends another person back with Travel Agent. Why was the Travel Agent, an experienced climber, using such bad equipment? Did someone switch his equipment or tamper with it? Was the Travel Agent being targeted? Why? Did it have to do with his taking bribes to let people go on the expedition? Was Dean’s being put on the trip the reason the Travel Agent was almost killed? Could this have just been a stupid accident? Or did someone try to kill the Travel Agent?
During medical treatment of Travel Agent before evacuation, Dr. Graves overhears some conversation between Patel and some climbers in Arabic. Patel says it’s Urdu. Brett Dean is in tent, as he brought injured Travel Agent in. He doesn’t know what they’re saying but he knows it’s not Urdu. He doesn’t reveal he knows that. Dr. Graves gets part of it, makes her very suspicious. She doesn’t reveal she knows Arabic.
Who was the Travel Agent? Why of all people did he get injured?
Dr. Graves wonders how did Patel even know these climbers? Why does he send one back with the Travel Agent? Was the Travel Agent a danger to the other climbers, and if so, why? [Travel Agent as potential little Red Herring. Maybe he was a bad guy, and Patel saved the others from him?]
Dean wonders why Patel would lie about what language he was speaking. Tries to talk to Dr. Graves about it. She says nothing. (But she is also wondering.) Is she working for Patel? [Red Herring: Whose side is Dr. Graves on?]
Patel won’t send Travel Agent’s boxes back in helicopter. Says it’s too heavy, will take too much time. Why can’t they leave the stuff and get it when they return down the mountain?
Second Mystery: How will they return? Patel says they’re returning by a different route. Who put him in charge? Why? Nobody else knows this other route for descent. Is it real? Is it dangerous? Who is Ali Patel? Some of the people on the expedition seem to know him very well, but they’re close-mouthed. Why? What does Patel want? What does Patel fear? Some climbers are apathetic, they don’t care, just want to go up mountain and return in one piece. Patel acts as if he is the most experienced and best climber on the team. Is that true?
Subsidiary “Love Mystery”
Ali Patel is very charming and seductive with Dr. Graves. Makes her feel great. He’s paying her to go on this climb, and she’s very grateful for that. She has her suspicions but he seems like such a helpful humanitarian and a fantastic, handsome climber.
Dr. Graves is dissatisfied with info she’s given but reluctant to take on Ali Patel, who seems to like her. She likes him, too. She knows a lot about mountains, wonders why he won’t take her into his confidence about return route, as she could help.
Patel wants Dr. Graves for himself. Did he pick the person to accompany the injured Travel Agent out of jealousy (he’s handsome, has medical knowledge, too appealing to Dr. Graves)?
Brett Dean also likes Dr. Graves – she’s a great climber, interesting, strong. She doesn’t tell him much. Her interest in Patel makes him nervous – and jealous.
Patel seems to have helpers, staff watching Dr. Graves more and more as the climb continues. Dr. Graves wonders why. Doesn’t he trust her? Does he suspect she understood some of the dialogue in Arabic during the emergency with the Travel Agent? Would he turn on her?
Third Mystery: What is in those boxes? Dr. Graves is very curious, but doesn’t want to be seen looking in stuff that doesn’t belong to her. She could pretend she’s hunting for medical supplies, since she used stuff up on the Travel Agent. Very hard to look and not be discovered.
Brett Dean also very curious about the boxes. He tries to find out from Dr. Graves. She doesn’t say much. She doesn’t trust anyone. Dean doesn’t trust her. Maybe each independently finds ammunition or weapons in a box, doesn’t know whom to trust?
One of the wealthy climbers is also curious about the boxes. He does some snooping. He finds something that doesn’t belong, but then dies in a climbing “accident.” Brett Dean and Dr. Graves each wonder, did what’s in those boxes lead to this climber’s death?
Fourth Mystery. Who is Brett Dean and what is he doing on this trip? Patel tries to get close to Brett Dean. He’s suspicious of how Dean got on the trip at the last moment. There’s no file on him (a dereliction of duty by the Travel Agent). Ali feels that Brett doesn’t have the kind of money necessary to go on this trek. In the guise of friendly conversation he asks lots of questions. Makes Dean very suspicious. Patel volunteers virtually nothing.
Patel is angry at one of his employees for the lack of a file on Brett Dean. Employee becomes very nervous. Switches his order in the climbing route to be further from Patel, closer to Dean. Why? Is he going to do something bad to Dean, make him fall? Employee’s apparent fear of Patel seems at odds with Patel’s public persona of calmness, reasonableness, wealth.
What will Ali Patel do to Dean? Will he cause him to be killed because he lacks complete information on who he is?
Fifth Mystery. When will Brett Dean realize that the man he’s supposed to assassinate is there on the trek with him? Patel is very careful, never lets information slip. Does he tell something to Dr. Graves who innocently mentions it to Dean? Where he went to school in Great Britain and when? Will Dean put together the pieces and realize that Patel is his target?
Sixth Mystery. Will anyone who has suspicions about Ali Patel survive this trip if they make it to the destination? Won’t Patel have everyone killed, blame it on an avalanche, bad climbing, weather? Is that why he’s proposed a different return route? Do factions develop among the few climbers left? Are they all baiting each other, nobody trusting anyone else? What does Dr. Graves think? Whose side is she on? Are these terrible accidents really accidents? Who is causing them? How are they getting away with it?
-
Mona Miller’s Mystery Sequence
What
I learned from this is the importance of having simple, clear ideas, and
then executing them logically, in sequence, with the “cover up/secret”
model Hal has provided.1. The big secret that the Villain (Ali Patel) is covering up is how he is able to fund the terrorist training camp and keep its real activities unknown. The mountain climbing expeditions allow Ali Patel a perfect cover to bring in supplies, including food and medicine, but also weapons, and then take down trainees (masquerading as poor villagers).
Ways to cover up the big secret:
Hide in plain sight: the expeditions are advertised, including to very wealthy, well-known people who like extreme mountain climbing. Wealthy climbers pay, terrorists come with them (posing as helpers, staff, etc.). It all looks legit.
“Humanitarian mission” label allows doctors, medicines, etc. to be carried up. Even some governmental restrictions are relaxed. Politicians look favorably on this activity – brings in tourism and revenue, medical and humanitarian aid. (All the supplies being hauled up include ammunition, weapons, materiel.)
Mountain climbing is dangerous. “Accidents” accomplished in a variety of ways (equipment failures, substitutions of equipment, etc.) can cover up executions, eliminations of disloyal people, suspicious climbers who might report something to the authorities, etc.
Battle with the elements. Conditions alone are very difficult – someone may get hypothermia, not adjust properly to altitude, scrape himself and wound gets infected, etc.
Communications are difficult and controlled. Remoteness of mountains ensures that surveillance is difficult; people can’t phone for help; hard to get messages in and out.
Climbers need to depend on each other. Most difficult and remote parts of journey require more than one person – it’s too difficult to do alone. The climbers have to trust and rely upon each other.
Medical assistance on every trek means a doctor is there to save – or possibly kill – any injured person.
First mystery – Travel Agent who took a bribe from our hero, Brett Dean, to get him on the trek at the last minute, has a serious accident. Dean saves him, at great personal risk. Patel steps in, appears to be heroically paying for medical evacuation by helicopter, sends another person back with Travel Agent. Why was the Travel Agent, an experienced climber, using such bad equipment? Did someone switch his equipment or tamper with it? Was the Travel Agent being targeted? Why? Did it have to do with his taking bribes to let people go on the expedition? Was Dean’s being put on the trip the reason the Travel Agent was almost killed? Could this have just been a stupid accident?
During medical treatment of Travel Agent before evacuation, Dr. Graves overhears some conversation between Patel and some climbers in Arabic. Patel says it’s Urdu. Brett Dean is in tent, as he brought injured Travel Agent in. He doesn’t know what they’re saying but he knows it’s not Urdu. He doesn’t reveal he knows that. Dr. Graves gets part of it, makes her very suspicious. She doesn’t reveal she knows Arabic.
Who was the Travel Agent? Why of all people did he get injured?
Dr. Graves wonders how did Patel even know these climbers? Why does he send one back with the Travel Agent? Was the Travel Agent a danger to the other climbers, and if so, why? [Travel Agent as potential little Red Herring.]
Dean wonders why Patel would lie about what language he was speaking. Tries to talk to Dr. Graves about it. She says nothing. (But she is also wondering.) Is she working for Patel? [Red Herring: Whose side is Dr. Graves on?]
Patel won’t send Travel Agent’s boxes back in helicopter. Says it’s too heavy, will take too much time. Why can’t they leave the stuff and get it when they return down the mountain?
Second Mystery: How will they return? Patel says they’re returning by a different route. Who put him in charge? Why? Nobody else knows this other route for descent. Is it real? Is it dangerous? Who is Ali Patel? Some of the people on the expedition seem to know him very well, but they’re close-mouthed. Why? What does Patel want? What does Patel fear? Some climbers are apathetic, they don’t care, just want to go up mountain and return in one piece.
Subsidiary “Love Mystery”
Ali Patel is very charming and seductive with Dr. Graves. Makes her feel great. He’s paying her to go on this climb, and she’s very grateful for that. She has her suspicions but he seems like such a helpful humanitarian and a fantastic, handsome climber.
Dr. Graves is dissatisfied with info she’s given but reluctant to take on Ali Patel, who seems to like her. She likes him, too. She knows a lot about mountains, wonders why he won’t take her into his confidence about return route, as she could help.
Patel wants Dr. Graves for himself. Did he pick the person to accompany the injured Travel Agent out of jealousy (he’s handsome, has medical knowledge, too appealing to Dr. Graves)?
Brett Dean also likes Dr. Graves – she’s a great climber, interesting, strong. She doesn’t tell him much. Her interest in Patel makes him nervous – and jealous.
Patel seems to have helpers, staff watching Dr. Graves more and more as the climb continues. Dr. Graves wonders why. Doesn’t he trust her? Does he suspect she understood some of the dialogue in Arabic during the emergency with the Travel Agent? Would he turn on her?
Third Mystery: What is in those boxes? Dr. Graves is very curious, but doesn’t want to be seen looking in stuff that doesn’t belong to her. She could pretend she’s hunting for medical supplies, since she used stuff up on the Travel Agent. Very hard to look and not be discovered.
Brett Dean also very curious about the boxes. He tries to find out from Dr. Graves. She doesn’t say much. She doesn’t trust anyone. Dean doesn’t trust her. Maybe each independently finds ammunition or weapons in a box, doesn’t know who to trust?
One of the wealthy climbers is also curious about the boxes. He does some snooping. He finds something that doesn’t belong, but then dies in a climbing “accident.”
Fourth Mystery. Who is Brett Dean and what is he doing on this trip? Patel tries to get close to Brett Dean. He’s suspicious of how Dean got on the trip at the last moment. There’s no file on him (a dereliction of duty by the Travel Agent). Ali feels that Brett doesn’t have the kind of money necessary to go on this trek. In the guise of friendly conversation he asks lots of questions. Makes Dean very suspicious. Patel volunteers virtually nothing.
Patel is angry at one of his employees for the lack of a file on Brett Dean. Employee becomes very nervous. Switches his order in the climbing route to be further from Patel, closer to Dean. Why? Is he going to do something bad to Dean, make him fall? Employee’s apparent fear of Patel seems at odds with Patel’s public persona of calmness, reasonableness, wealth.
What will Ali Patel do to Dean? Will he cause him to be killed because he lacks complete information on who he is?
Fifth Mystery. When will Brett Dean realize that the man he’s supposed to assassinate is there on the trek with him? Patel is very careful, never lets information slip. Does he tell something to Dr. Graves who innocently mentions it to Dean? Where he went to school in Great Britain and when? Will Dean put together the pieces and realize that Patel is his target?
Sixth Mystery. Will anyone who has suspicions about Ali Patel survive this trip if they make it to the destination? Won’t Patel have everyone killed, blame it on an avalanche, bad climbing, weather? Is that why he’s proposed a different return route? Do factions develop among the few climbers left? Are they all baiting each other, nobody trusting anyone else? What does Dr. Graves think? Whose side is she on? Are these terrible accidents really accidents? Who is causing them? How are they getting away with it?
-
Jeff Hall’s Mystery Sequence
Question… I have no Red Herring currently in my thriller, as i believe this is a Psychological Thriller. Is a Red Herring necessary in this genre?
What i learned is…
Implementing red herrings keeps your audience guessing and deepens the mystery.
Create your mystery sequence. Give us the answer to these questions.
1. What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up? Murdering every child in the orphanage
2. How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries. No one knows he exists. Or he is a ghost/phantom.
3. The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it. The murder of a beloved family in his town.
4. Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.
a. How murdered the first family?
b. Who murdered the second family?
c. How is he choosing his victims?
b. Who will be the next victim.
e. The protagonist is the red herring. He is told he is guilty and begins to believe it (he has an opium addiction).
5. Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.
a. Who is slaughtering these people?
b. Ben is present for each slaughtering.
c. Ben is high on opium every night.
d. Ben is accused and almost hung. Other tell him he’s guilty.
e. Ben begins to believe he may have done it.
-
Jennifer Miller’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned is to start at the end and work back and not panic, bird by bird, discover the cover ups that become the mysteries that become the mystery chains. One thing builds from the next and the last mystery is always about the villain. Plus SECRET/COVER UP is a great tool to make the whole thing manageable and flowing into the next making a thrilling story.
What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
Stop the sell of the company and continue trafficking and laundering, business as usual, making millions and silencing anyone who gets in the way.
How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.
Frame Percy for: the sabotage of her business in hopes to lower the price of the sell, and for the attempted murder of Margot. And, by forcing Margot to kill the sell. Who wants Margot dead? Can Margot trust Percy? Is this an inside job? Is Walt the killer?
The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
Margot has been attacked, her business and life are under siege.
<div>
</div>Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.
Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.
Open: Attempted murder. Margot is brutally attacked, but Thomas, a chef there to discuss her wedding, interrupts the attack and saves Margot’s life, but she is left with amnesia.
Mystery 1: Who tried to kill Margot?
Percy is Margot’s fiancé. <div>
Percy was with her that night. Did he do it?
Percy and Margot argued that night about a leaked whistleblower document that could ruin his reputation and disrupt the merger. She ends it, she can’t trust him, gives him back his ring. He leaves it on a table in the foyer on his way out.
Percy gets cross when investigators bring up a past domestic violence accusation, one that was dismissed, a fabrication. The woman killed herself. She was disturbed.
Police believe either an intruder, there’s been robberies in the neighborhood of late, or an employee with a grudge about selling the business to Percy, who they believe plans to replace the employees with an automated system.
Mystery 2: What is Percy hiding?
Percy has played Margot from the beginning of the merger. </div><div>
He claims he has nothing to do with the disruption of Margot’s operation.
He wants to bury the fake whistleblower document— it could hurt the merger and his integrity and reputation.
It looks like he’s so rich he thinks he’s above the law.
He tells the police Margot was a shrewd negotiator. She wanted out, especially since someone threw a rock through her window threatening her.
Percy has assaults allegations in his past that he hid from her.
What does it mean that Percy has not disclosed this?
He enjoys winning and will stop at nothing to be named the next head of the family business.
Then, he implies Margot knew he was considering replacing workers down the line with an automated system and she made a stipulation to the contract not to allow it, however, if workers are out of line and endangers the business he would be perfectly in his rights to override the contract. Hence he could be the source of the disruption – lower $ and save money by replacing workers, win win.
Mystery 3: Is this an inside job?
Margot moves forward with the merger, she tries to wrap her battered head around the attack and the disruption to her business by scouring the books. She doesn’t want any more surprises. </div>
She finds a surprise from the co-op farm/yard and discrepancies in the books.
<div>
Walt offers to help, but Margot is working with Thomas and Esme, she’s got this.
Percy tells Margot he believes someone from her company sent the threats.
She accuses Percy of sending her on a goose chase.He shows her the video footage outside of her home where a man in a hoodie waited in the shadows for her.
To her shock, she discovers that person is Dedoe.Mystery 4: Is Walt the killer?
Walt has been in the middle of the merger from the beginning. </div>
He presented the fake whistleblower doc exposing Percy.
He continually points out how Percy is devious and ruthless.
Esme disappears after Margot tasks her to dig into discrepancies and money spikes at co-op farm/yards.
A year earlier another employee in accounting disappeared mysteriously, like Esme.Walt’s ex-wife left him financially ruined when he left her for a new young wife, who he promised to keep in luxury.
If he is the killer, what is he going to do next?
He is meeting Margot privately to killed her.
-
<div>Julio Tumbaco’s Mystery Sequence</div>
What I learned is the importance of building blocks to create the Mystery sequence. The process opens options and explores the trajectory/build-up of the story- creates the mortar.
What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up? ELLA killed NICK.
How many ways can they cover that secret?
- deny NICK’s existence
- change NICK’s ID (known him by another name: NICOLETTE)
- recommend therapist (suicide trauma specialist)
- produce a seance (fake)
- leave podcast about euthanasia opened on laptop for discovery
- give anthology of supernatural love to OWEN
- propose to OWEN a la Chandler and Monica from Friends (subtext: spouse cannot testify against each other)
- ELLA manipulates OWEN into thinking that death is the only way he will experience true love with NICK
Could not create a Red Herring mystery- yet.
-
Daniel Turner’s Mystery Sequence
1. The Villain is covering uptake fact that he is leading secret sect that is sacrificing people and making others disappear.
2. He makes the sacrifices look like a serial killer is on the loose.
The bodies of those that are snatched never turn up.
They leave no witnesses.
Other than the ritualistic killings there is no visible crime.
3. Our hero gets called to a series ritualistic crime scenes. They are all of murdered prostitues. The last one looks just like the woman he is in love with, that also happens to be a lady of the night.
4. A cop is shot in an ambush.
Another prostitute is murdered in a ritualistic way.
The cop gets into a scuffle with a criminal that he busted who got off on a technicality and tried rubbing it in his face.
Because of the scuffle he is ordered to attend counciling with the police psychiatrist. Who probes and gives the impression that he is feeling him out for something.
An informant confronts him and asks what are they going to do about all of the people disappearing. Being snatched up.
He goes to see the old wise man of the street to get some info on what’s going on. The wise one gives him the lowdown on people disappearing. And that it looks to be professionals of some kind. Maybe cops?
He has his second session with the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist invites him to a group meeting if he is ready for it.
The hero goes to the location of the group meeting and ends up staying outside an staking it out. He is noticed by a couple of the attendees. They are also cops.
Log in to reply.