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Day 6 Assignments
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DAY 6 The Cover Up
Lisa’s Cover Up
What I learned is that I can play around with meaning, subtext, and dialogue to find the best fit.
SHORT SCENE
EXT-MAIN STREET-DAY
PETER WINTERS runs into MARY WINTERS, his ex-wife on the street.
PETER
Mary. How are the girls doing?
MARY
They’re doing remarkably well and looking forward to Christmas.
PETER
That’s good. That’s good.
Peter stares at Mary’s neck and realizes she’s not wearing the necklace he gave her. She never takes it off and this is the first time he’s seen her without it in years.
MARY
(Awkwardly) Well…I have to get going…
PETER
Can I ask you something?
MARY
Sure.
PETER
You’re not wearing the necklace.
MARY
…
HOW WILL MARY ANSWER?
– Silence: Person doesn’t answer when they should.
Mary just looks at Peter, not knowing what to say.
– Action incongruent with words.
I lost it, but it’s okay. (with tears in her eyes)
– Change subject.
How’s Tilly? (Peter’s girlfriend)
– Attack back.
It’s none of your business what I wear!
– Complement them.
It’s nice to know you’re concerned.
– Threaten them
You have no right to ask me personal questions. I’ll have my attorney give you an answer!
– Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not.
I lost it.
– Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a
different direction.Are we going to see you on Christmas Day?
– Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.
I can’t believe you asked me that!
– Distraction.
Is that a new coat?
– Make a joke of it.
(chuckling) Easy come, easy go.
– Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.
I have so much to do for the festival. Ta!
SCENE WITH CHOSEN RESPONSE
EXT-MAIN STREET-DAY
PETER WINTERS runs into MARY WINTERS, his ex-wife on the street.
PETER
Mary. How are the girls doing?
MARY
They’re doing remarkably well and looking forward to Christmas.
PETER
That’s good. That’s good.
Peter stares at Mary’s neck and realizes she’s not wearing the necklace he gave her. She never takes it off and this is the first time he’s seen her without it in years.
MARY
(Awkwardly) Well…I have to get going…
PETER
Can I ask you something?
MARY
Sure.
PETER
You’re not wearing the necklace.
MARY
I lost it, but it’s okay. (with tears in her eyes) I’ve got to get going now. See you on Christmas.
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June Fortunato’s Dialogue cover ups Day 6 of Subtext
What I learned: Not every scene is appropriate for this technique if one is looking for an ending line. I’ve included new scenes here and used the idea of subtext to change my first draft to contrast Kim’s actions with her words. I think it helped.
ROY I’m stickin with you, kid.
She curtsies and laughs. They eat.
ROY How about you let Old Roy show you the sand and Carnival today in old A.C.
Pause.
ROY I guarantee a far out EX PER I ENCE.
Pause. Serious.
KIM I need to do something first. Will you come with me?
ROY Does a fish eat worms? I’m in.
1. Doesn’t answer: Kim: I need to do something first. Will you come with me? Roy: Silence.
2. Action incongruent with words. Kim: I need to do something first. Will you come with me? Roy gathers his clothes and walks out the door saying: Roy: Absolutely. Roy leaves.
3. Change subject. Kim: I need to do something first. Will you come with me? Roy: That was a supremeo breakfast.
4. Attack back. Kim: I need to do something first. Will you come with me? Roy: What’s the problem with Atlantic City? You got a problem with my plans?
5. Complement them. Kim: I need to do something first. Will you come with me? Roy: Did I tell you how cool you are to get this place for the night?
6. Threaten them Kim: I need to do something first. Will you come with me? Roy: If you don’t come with me right now we may never see each other again.
7. Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not. Kim: I need to do something first. Will you come with me? Roy: I think the cleaning people are coming in we’d better get out of dodge.
8. Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a different direction. Kim: I need to do something first. Will you come with me? Roy: I’ve been thinking about Suzy.
9. Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event. Kim: I need to do something first. Will you
come with me? Roy: I love balloons and clowns, don’t you?
10. Distraction. Kim: I need to do something first. Will you come with me? Roy: Jezuu look at the car down there.
11. Make a joke of it. Kim: I need to do something first. Will you come with me? Roy: Oh so you want us to go on a trip to the moon?
12. Continue the conversation as if nothing happened. Kim: I need to do something first. Will
you come with me? Roy: So like I was saying, there’s a carnival going on in AC.
THE SCENES
ROY I’m stickin with you, kid.
She curtsies and laughs. They eat.
ROY How about you let Old Roy show you the sand and Carnival today in old A.C.
Pause.
ROY I guarantee a far out EX PER I ENCE.
Pause. Serious.
KIM I need to do something first. Will you come with me?
ROY Does a fish eat worms? I’m in.
INT. BUS – MORNING
The closer they get, the more agitated Kim becomes. Roy takes her hand. She allows it and then disengages it. To the driver.
KIM Here.
The bus pulls over in front of Kim & Brian’s house. As they exit, to the driver.
KIM Thank you.
ROY My man! Fine service.
EXT. CABIN – MORNING – CONTINUOUS
Kim strides ahead and then stops to look back at Roy. He follows: eyes on her. She rounds the house and they come upon Kim’s extraordinary garden.
KIM I plant so that something blooms each month. June is one of my favorites.
Roy is moved by the sight. He’s moved by Kim…So unjustly hated.
ROY Psychedelic. Magical.
Kim finds a cake server in her carpetbag. She points.
My Delphiniums.
As she thrusts the cake server into the dirt, and viciously tears them out of the ground.
KIM They grow in several shades but I love this deep purple.
Delphiniums decimated, she moves to a blanket of flowers bursting with color.
KIM And these are my steadfast impatiens.
She mercilessly whips them out, talking to them.
KIM NO. You WILL NOT be coming back next year. No, no, no. It’s not your fault.
Angrier, louder and more violent as she heads for her tuberroses.
KIM And my sweet scented tuberroses. Don’t they smell like angels?
She thrashes and tosses them everywhere.
KIM Oh, don’t I know it??? I KNOW it’s not your time to overwinter. Life is not fair.
She heads to delicate, abundant bursts of color.
KIM MINE! MY GARDEN. MY HOME.
She destroys them with all her might.
MY YARROW. I fed them. I birthed them. (Toward the house) They are not for you!
She gathers them to herself and crawls to the last group of flowers – shouting up to the house.
You smarmy slabs of fat! THESE. ARE. MY. ASTERS!
She slaughters until she’s covered with earth and everything, everything is barren and lay dying. Pause. Roy has watched in wonder and respect. There’s stillness in the house. Kim, covered in dirt, lays down on her flowers. Roy watches in silence. Finally, Roy sits, scoops her up into his arms.
ROY My most outrageous place to crash was in a lighthouse.
Long pause.
KIM Was anybody there?
ROY A blind old man who thought I was his wife.
KIM Blind? But
ROY The light is automated. The wife, she scrammed.
KIM Oh no!
ROY Or maybe she was dead and he fed her to the fish. In any ways, he was glad to have her back so I pretended I was her. He didn’t notice.
She laughs.
KIM It must be fabulous up there.
ROY Fantasterrific. When a bird flies by it’s eyeball to your eyeball. The clouds are wall to wall. And the sound of the wind whistles through your head.
KIM I whistle.
Pause.
KIM Why did you leave?
ROY I helped the old man down the stairs and then walked away. Everything is temporary. It’s better that way.
Pause. Kim nods. She seems grateful.
KIM Let’s go eat some salt taffy.
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DEV ROSS – DAY 6 – DIALOGUE COVER UPS
What I learned is that subtext can misdirect in such a way to infuriate/incite the opposite character. It really ignites a scene and deepens character.
INAPPRORIATE REACTION TO AN EMOTIONAL SITUATION which included (for me) the use of Distraction, Misdirection, Making a joke of it, and Continuing the conversation as if nothing happened. For me, these were all apart of “inappropriate reaction to an emotional situation.
INT. CLAY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT – CONTINOUS
Clay yanks Hannah into the bedroom, slams the door so hard, the wardrobe mirror hung on the back of it shatters.
Hannah stands over the shattered pieces. Her heart shattered like the mirror, she goes numb.
CLAY
How could you be so stupid! You want another cross burnt on our
lawn?!
SILENCE – Doesn’t answer when she should.
She doesn’t answer but moves to closet, hangs up her coat.
He jerks her back to him.
CLAY
Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve have come for you.
She smiles at him.
MAKE A JOKE OF IT.
HANNAH
I did. You didn’t answer. I guess you were busy, busy, busy.
She moves past him.
CLAY
Where you going?
MISDIRECTION
HANNAH
To get a broom and dustbin to clean. Unless you want to step on broken glass?
CLAY
Our neighbors could’ve seen you!
Clay whacks her hard across the face.
Hannah almost crumbles – but stands back up to face him.
INAPPROPRIATE REACTION TO EMOTIONAL SITUATION
HANNAH
Huh. That barely registered. You must be slipping.
Clay paces, trying to release what’s building up before he does real damage.
CLAY
Marrying you when you were so young was a mistake. I’ve sheltered you far too much! You don’t know how to take care of yourself!
Hannah, as if in a dream, picks up the hemline of her nurse’s uniform up past her groin, sticks her hand down the front of her panties and rubs.
DISTRACTION
HANNAH
Yes, I can. A girl who marries an older man learns to take care of herself. Umm. Real good care.
Clay throws her to the ground, straddles her.
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED.
HANNAH
Are you going to make love to me now?
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Cameron Martin’s Dialogue Cover-ups
What I learned doing this assignment is…Subtext is AWESOME for horror! In addition, there’re so many ideas for how you can represent a character, and elevate the scene beyond what comes to your head first. I decided to go with a combination of the two options because it clarifies two different points that themselves lead to a lot of questions and future conflict: Jude is dangerous, her motivations are based on Isaiah.
(Note: Decided on a different character subtext for Sully. The whole Sully is the spy instead of Jude broke my brain for a couple days. While it adds a ton of natural conflict, it also changed too much of what I was going for with this story. The other place that would naturally add a lot of subtext is the missing relationship of the mother, who represents the lacking understanding between Sully and Isaiah, which is ultimately what this story is about: controlling versus understanding. The Sully is a spy is still an option if needed, but I think the horror element of Sully being out of his element is too valuable to lose, and changing it makes this story more of a thriller than a horror movie, and the mixed signals of genre may do more damage than intended.)
METHODS OF COVER-UP:
– Silence: Person doesn’t answer when they should.
Jude doesn’t say anything. She just motions for Sully and Isaiah to follow her.
– Action incongruent with words.
JUDE
Oh, I’m nobody worth knowing.
Sully’s brain just now registers what’s in her hands – a laser pistol. Very illegal.
– Change subject.
JOSE
(to Isaiah)
Well, aren’t you just the sweetest little boy. I could just gobble you up.
– Attack back.
JUDE
If you know what’s good for you, you won’t ask that question again. Understand me, young man?
– Complement them.
JUDE
You look like you can be a big help to a poor defenseless lady.
– Threaten them
Jude raises the thing that was in her hands and points it at Sully. It clicks in his head like a snare drum. She’s aiming a laser pistol at his chest.
JUDE
I’ve already dealt with two other miscreants that didn’t make it to the bunker. You wouldn’t be so unkind as to hurt a little old grandmother would you?
– Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not.
JUDE
I’m just a little old grandmother of two who lost her way. Maybe we can help each other?
– Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a different direction.
JUDE
I would be less concerned with who you’re talking to, and simply follow me. You don’t know how many of those ‘things’ there are.
– Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.
She approaches Sully and Isaiah. Sully tries to stand in the way and holds his hand out to keep her back.
She takes the hand and twists it with a Judo move that appears as second nature to her as knitting a scarf.
She puts Sully on the couch and embraces Isaiah.
JUDE
Poor, poor child. I’ll make sure you’re safe.
– Distraction.
JUDE
Is he your son? Where is his mother?
– Make a joke of it.
JUDE
No one ever suspects the grandmother, do they?
– Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.
JUDE
Don’t just stand there, gawking. We have to get this little one somewhere safe.
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INT. SULLY’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Sully and Isaiah crouch lower and lower behind the couch. Sully’s eyes dart to every corner of the room, while he holds his hand over his son’s mouth. Where is it? How could my son hold onto something so dangerous?
A feeling of slime or mucus flows onto the crown of Sully’s head. Oh shit. Don’t move.
The warm, damp thing investigates his ear, The sharp serrated teeth brush along his hair. In his peripheral, the dark wet slug, intimate with Sully’s cheeks. Sully holds his breath. It knows. The slug brushes against Sully’s mouth. The teeth making an incision at his nose. Sully puffs out a breath of air.
THE THING RECOILS BACK!
Sully closes his eyes. This is it.
The sound of a struggle behind the two of them.
Sully opens his eyes. The slug is gone. Where did it go?
A hand reaches over Sully’s lips. Sully jerks against the new sensation, jumping to his feet, ready to fight!
Before him…
The sweetest little old lady you ever saw, JUDE, with a smile that would make you think she’s about to offer milk and cookies. Instead, at her feet is Isaiah’s worm.
Sully
How…Wha…Who are you?
JUDE
(to Isaiah)
Well, aren’t you just the sweetest little boy. I could just gobble you up.
Sully’s brain just now registers what’s in her hands – a laser pistol. Very illegal.
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PS81 – Dana’s Cover-up
What I learned from this assignment:
Using these methods, I was able to brainstorm the best reaction/response for the villain in my scene. I think I came up with a few good lines I hadn’t considered, and I’m not sure which one to use.
METHODS OF COVER-UP:
Silence: Person doesn’t answer when they should.
Jeremy relishes the moment, knowing Sorensen is watching behind the glass. His grin goes wide.
Action incongruent with words.
“Please. I have a weak constitution.” He pushes the photo aside, smiling.
Change subject.
“If you’re making a lunch run, I hear Garibaldi’s makes a great meatball sandwich.”
Attack back.
“What is this, a shakedown? Did she promise you part of the take when she sues me?”
Complement them.
“You’re much better at this than your partner.”
Threaten them.
To his lawyer – “My dad doesn’t pay your fucking retainer for you to just sit there.”
Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not.
“Do you know sex crimes are the most difficult crimes to prove? Especially between consenting adults.”
Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a different direction.
“Did she tell you that her boyfriend served time for domestic violence.”
Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.
“She’s a freak. She’s into the rough trade.”
Distraction.
“Do you know the weather in Aspen? I have a ski trip scheduled, and I’m wondering about the powder.”
Make a joke of it.
“Is your partner going to join us? Because the whole good cop-bad cop routine doesn’t really work with only one of you.”
Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.
“How much longer is this going to take? I have a date with a model tonight. We’re going to see the Mikado at the opera house. It’s probably over her head, but I’m sure she’ll like the costumes. I’d invite you to go, but it’s already sold out. And I doubt if you could afford the tickets anyway.”
SCENE:
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY
ON JEREMY BENNETT
A snotty rich boy in his mid-twenties, smug, arrogant, Armani jacket, sits in the hot seat being questioned. He’s been here for hours, but he’s all smiles.
COP (O.S.)
Daddy’s money won’t save you this time, Jeremy.
LAWYER (O.S.)
My client’s wealth is not an issue here, detective. Now we have fully cooperated with your investigation, and if you don’t have anything —
COP (O.S.)
We have a victim, counselor.
LAWYER (O.S.)
And no proof this was anything but a consensual relationship.
Crime photos are SLAPPED down on the table.
COP (O.S.)
Does that look like consent to you?
JEREMY
DISTRACTION – “Do you know what the weather is in Aspen? I have a ski trip scheduled for next week, and I’m wondering about the powder.”
LAWYER (O.S.)
Jeremy. Let me do the talking.
COP (O.S.)
I thought date-rape drugs went out of style in the nineties.
LAWYER (O.S.)
You have no evidence my client drugged anyone.
COP (O.S.)
We have his confession, counselor.
LAWYER (O.S.)
And that will never see the inside of a courtroom. Detective Sorensen put his gun to my client’s head to extract that confession.
Jeremy adjusts his focus across the room, gazing sadistically at someone beyond his vision.
COP (O.S.)
According to who? Your client? We all know what that’s worth.
JEREMY’S POV – the one-way window. Who’s behind it?
LAWYER (O.S.)
And if you were confident it would stand up, Detective Sorensen would be here, not you.
BACK ON JEREMY
Grinning, staring through the window at the person behind it.
COP (O.S.)
Let’s stay on point.
JEREMY
He’s back there, isn’t he?
LAWYER (O.S.)
Jeremy…
SILENCE – Jeremy relishes the moment, knowing Sorensen is watching. His grin goes wide.
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Matthew Frendo’s Dialogue Cover-ups
WHAT I LEARNED: I learned how to create subtext in dialogue. This will make the scripts more emotional and interesting for reader / viewer.
INT. ALICIA’S CLOSET – NIGHT
Alicia finishes putting the bracelet on, flinching as the pain flows through her bloodied wrist.
She looks at Aiden’s wrist and sees his is bloody too and he’s crying.
They whisper through the entire scene.
ALICIA
I know it hurts buddy, but it’s the only way.
AIDEN
It’s not that. I don’t care about that.
She turns to him, giving him all of her attention.
ALICIA
What is it?
He shrugs.
AIDEN
I can’t say.
ALICIA
It’s okay. No one can hear us in here.
He lowers his whisper anyway.
AIDEN
I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to be alone with her.
ALICIA
Don’t worry. Mom will–
AIDEN
She said she’s not my mom. That she’s ashamed of me to be a mother. That I should call her Carole from now on.
ALICIA
(muttering)
That fucking bitch.
(back to Aiden)
Sorry. Don’t repeat that.
He looks at her, pleading.
AIDEN
Please don’t go.
Her heart breaks and you can see it on her face.
ALICIA
I have no choice. I wish I did. I wish more than anything.
He cries harder.
AIDEN
How am I going to make it without you?
ALICIA
I’ll always be with you. Look…
She looks around, but sees she has nothing to give him. She looks at her shirt and sees two buttons are stained with blood from her wrist.
She pulls them off of the shirt, takes a few strands of fabric and quickly makes two necklaces out of it.
ALICIA
You take one and I’ll take the other. That way, we’ll always be together in our hearts. And when we need strength to handle all of the pain, we can use this to get that strength from each other.
She gingerly puts it around his neck.
AIDEN
What if you…don’t come back.
Alicia forces a smile, holding back her tears.
ALICIA
I’ll come back, buddy. Not even worried about it.
– Silence: Person doesn’t answer when they should.
Alicia just forces a smile, then gives him the biggest hug of all time.
– Action incongruent with words.Alicia pulls out a blade, hiding it on her wrist as she says “don’t worry. There’s no danger.”
– Change subject.Alicia asks if he saw the new video from his favorite band yet.
– Attack back.Alicia says angrily, “there’s no way I’m not coming back. Don’t even say it!”
– Complement them.Alicia says, “you look good in that new Captain America shirt.”
– Threaten themAlicia says, “Don’t’ever doubt me again! Or I will leave for good.”
– Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not.Alicia says, “It definitely won’t be easy.”
– Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a
different direction.Alicia says, “that’s not what you need to worry about. You need to worry about what kind of birthday party you want to have when I come back.”
– Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.Alicia hardens up and walks out of the room.
– Distraction.Alicia says “So, I was thinking we rent the new Peacemaker movie tonight.”
– Make a joke of it.Alicia says, “on the plus side, I’ll probably be the prettiest one in the hunt.”
– Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.Alicia says, “These will also be a great fashion accessory. Make you the most popular boy in school.”
INT. ALICIA’S CLOSET – NIGHT
Alicia finishes putting the bracelet on, flinching as the pain flows through her bloodied wrist.
She looks at Aiden’s wrist and sees his is bloody too and he’s crying.
They whisper through the entire scene.
ALICIA
I know it hurts buddy, but it’s the only way.
AIDEN
It’s not that. I don’t care about that.
She turns to him, giving him all of her attention.
ALICIA
What is it?
He shrugs.
AIDEN
I can’t say.
ALICIA
It’s okay. No one can hear us in here.
He lowers his whisper anyway.
AIDEN
I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to be alone with her.
ALICIA
Don’t worry. Mom will–
AIDEN
She said she’s not my mom. That she’s ashamed of me to be a mother. That I should call her Carole from now on.
ALICIA
(muttering)
That fucking bitch.
(back to Aiden)
Sorry. Don’t repeat that.
He looks at her, pleading.
AIDEN
Please don’t go.
Her heart breaks and you can see it on her face.
ALICIA
I have no choice. I wish I did. I wish more than anything.
He cries harder.
AIDEN
How am I going to make it without you?
ALICIA
I’ll always be with you. Look…
She looks around, but sees she has nothing to give him. She looks at her shirt and sees two buttons are stained with blood from her wrist.
She pulls them off of the shirt, takes a few strands of fabric and quickly makes two necklaces out of it.
ALICIA
You take one and I’ll take the other. That way, we’ll always be together in our hearts. And when we need strength to handle all of the pain, we can use this to get that strength from each other.
She gingerly puts it around his neck.
AIDEN
What if you…don’t come back?
Alicia forces a smile, holding back her tears and gives a shrug.
ALICIA
It definitely won’t be easy.
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Day 6: Subtext – Anita’s Dialogue Cover-ups
What I learned doing this assignment:This helped me get into the head of my character.
1. Write a quick scene and end it with the need for a response from one character.
NOTE: Prior to this we know Harley has uncovered her biological mother’s identity through her employer’s ‘YourFamily’ DNA database.
My character’s internal subtext here is: Plotting.
INT. BIOLOGY LAB – DAY
Harley’s working late and alone (again) staring at her oversized computer screen.
Bored with scrolling through test data results she toggles over to the obituaries. This is a ghoulish but favorite pastime for her, which we know because it is bookmarked as one of her “favorites”.
Suddenly she stops at the picture and heading of:
“Rebecca (Brahms) Peters”
Harley learns that she is survived by a husband, two children, and a sister – Danica Brahms.
Cause of death: Acute Kidney Disease.
HARLEY (talks aloud to herself)
Well, shit. Sorry I never knew ya’ Auntie.
Harley opens an e-file she has on Danica and scrolls through to a medical analysis of blood type, genetic markers, and kidney function information.
HARLEY
Looks like time’s just about up for you too mamacita.
Suddenly Harley gets a bright idea. She goes into the company’s database and searches for:
Kilner, Cyrus
We don’t see what Harley sees on the screen – only her reaction to it.
2. Then give an example of how they might use each of the cover-up methods.
METHODS OF COVER-UP:
– Silence:
Obviously the scene just ends on Harley’s facial expression.
– Action incongruent with words.
Harley abruptly shuts the computer off and runs from the room.
– Change subject.
“Suddenly, I’ve got a huge appetite.”
– Attack back.
“You piece of shit database. You never have the info I need when I need it.”
– Complement them.
“Hello handsome”
– Threaten them.
“There you are, you fucker. Gotcha.”
– Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not.
“Just what I thought all along.”
– Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a different direction.
“Okay. On to scheduling . . .”
– Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.
Harley starts crying. (We’ve never seen her do this before)
– Distraction.
Harley spills a coke on her keyboard, crashing all the data.
– Make a joke of it.
Harley laughs at what she finds.
– Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.
“All in a day’s work.”
3. Pick the best response.
4. Copy and paste the scene at the end, with the response you choose.
INT. BIOLOGY LAB – DAY
Harley’s working late and alone (again) staring at her oversized computer screen.
Bored with scrolling through test data results she toggles over to the obituaries. This is a ghoulish but favorite pastime for her, which we know because it is bookmarked as one of her “favorites”.
Suddenly she stops at the picture and heading of:
“Rebecca (Brahms) Peters”
…survived by a husband, two children, and a sister – Danica Brahms.
Cause of death: Acute Kidney Disease.
HARLEY (talks aloud to herself)
Well, shit. Sorry I never knew ya’ Auntie.
Harley opens an e-file she has on Danica and scrolls through to a medical analysis of blood type, genetic markers, and kidney function information. After a quick study –
HARLEY
Looks like time’s just about up for you too mamacita.
Suddenly Harley gets a bright idea. She goes into the company’s database and searches for:
Kilner, Cyrus
We don’t see what Harley sees on the screen – only her reaction to it – an ominous grin.
HARLEY
There you are, you fucker. Gotcha.
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KATES DIALOGUE COVER UPS
What I learned doing this assignment is that each choice reveals another aspect of character and could change the direction of the scene.
I have written the scene (very short) and then written each of the 12 possible replies to the last question. Nia asks – “Were you spying on me?”
EXT. LUCIANA’S HOUSE – LATE EVENING
Bill is standing in the shadows across the road from Luciana’s house as Nia exits.
She walks on down the street and around the corner. He waits a moment, then steps out into the street light.
Nia has doubled back on the other side of the road and now approaches him unexpectedly from behind.
NIA
Bill!
BILL
Nia! I – what are you doing out so late?
NIA
Visiting a friend. You?
BILL
Enjoying the last of the warm evenings.
NIA
Is that something you do often?
BILL DOESN’T REPLY. He takes out a large handkerchief and blows his nose.
NIA
Were you spying in me?
– ACTION INCONGRUENT WITH WORDS.
BILL
(as he polishes his glasses)
I am very short sighted – can’t see further than my nose.
– CHANGE SUBJECT.
BILL
It’s a full moon – one of my favorite times.
– ATTACK BACK.
BILL
Were you seeing someone you shouldn’t be?
– COMPLEMENT THEM.
BILL
You’re a very smart woman, Nia. Your father should be careful.
– THREATEN THEM
BILL
You want to make something of it? What would your Father do to Luciana if he knew you have been here??
– CONFIRM SOMETHING THEY ALREADY BELIEVE WHETHER IT’S TRUE OR NOT.
BILL
Looks like it, doesn’t it?
– MISDIRECTION: DO OR SAY SOMETHING THAT SENDS THEIR MIND IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION
BILL
I’m working for your father – it’s his concern.
– INAPPROPRIATE REACTION TO AN EMOTIONAL EVENT.
BILL
Hey baby, you’re pretty hot when you’re like this.
– DISTRACTION.
BILL
Spying is a strong term… perhaps there’s a different way to look at this? Surveillance? Looking out for your welfare?
– MAKE A JOKE OF IT.
BILL
Nia! Do I look like the Special Branch to you – in this bow tie?
– CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED.
BILL
I’m really gonna miss this weather in a few months.
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Anna Harper’s Cover-ups Day 6
What I learned from this assignment; Another way to improve the drama and improve the entertainment experience. Some of the choices have the power to take a script off in a whole new direction of twists. I will be on the lookout for more opportunities to do cover-ups. They are fun to do.
The Bittersweet of Summer’s End
SITUATION
Characters
Cleo co-owner of the pub, Caleb’s wife, and James the barman’s lover,
James, the local hero, Cleo’s lover, and the barman.
Anton Serbian thug/spy
ANTON a Serbian spy has been lured to The Royal Swans pub. He wants to do business with Caleb the pub owner.
ANTON
Hello, hey, is anyone serving?”
CLEO
Cleo looks around the corner of the bar and hisses at James.Crikey, it’s Anton, just as Bunny said he would show up.
EXAMPLE SILENCE no one answers, Anton leaves. (This subtext could create a whole new story web)
JAMES
Good evening, what can I get you, sir? We haven’t seen you in here
before, have we? We usually know all our customers, so you must be a tourist. What are you having to drink?EXAMPLE James uses misdirection. James knows why Anton is here. James is hiding something.
ANTON
Do you have vodka? Give me two shots and a glass of water. I want
to speak to Caleb. Send him over to my table.EXAMPLE
JAMES
So are you new to the area, a tourist perhaps?
Changes the subject
continues the conversation as if nothing has happened
JAMES
I’m sorry, he isn’t here. He will be away for some months. Can I
help?EXAMPLE is lying, being polite, hiding something
ANTON
Yes, I want to speak to Caleb.EXAMPLE Plotting
JAMES
As I just told you he is not available, we don’t even know when he is
coming back or even if he is coming back. Who are you, anyway?EXAMPLE
James is lying, distracting and attacking with demanding information from Anton.
ANTON
Give him this number, and tell him to call his friend, Anton. My name
is Anton. Got it?EXAMPLE
Anton is attacking the smoke screen with a demand for contact. His comments indicate that nothing has changed for Anton, he continues on with demands.
His last phrase “Got it?” has a threatening tone, (implied.)
BEST/FINAL CHOICES
ANTON
Hello, hey, is anyone serving?”
CLEO
Cleo looks around the corner of the bar and hisses at James.Crikey, it’s Anton, just as Bunny said he would show up.
JAMES
Good evening, what can I get you, sir? We haven’t seen you in here
before, have we? We usually know all our customers, so you must be a tourist. What are you having to drink?EXAMPLE James uses misdirection. James knows why Anton is here. James is hiding something.
ANTON
Do you have vodka? Give me two shots and a glass of water. I want
to speak to Caleb. Send him over to my table.JAMES
I’m sorry, he isn’t here. He will be away for some months. Can I
help?EXAMPLE is lying, being polite, hiding something
ANTON
Yes, I want to speak to Caleb.EXAMPLE Plotting
JAMES
As I just told you he is not available, we don’t even know when he is
coming back or even if he is coming back. Who are you, anyway?EXAMPLE
James is lying, distracting, and attacking by demanding information from Anton.
ANTON
Give him this number, and tell him to call his friend, Anton. My name
is Anton. Got it?EXAMPLE
Anton is attacking the smokescreen with a demand for contact. His comments indicate that nothing has changed for Anton, he continues on with demands.
His last phrase “Got it?” has a threatening tone, (implied.)
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This reply was modified 3 years ago by anna harper.
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This reply was modified 3 years ago by
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Day 6 – The Cover Up – Assignment
Mike O – Dialogue Cover ups
What I learned doing this assignment is: the dialogue, the scene and the character arc are all linked.
[I] Write a quick scene and end it with the need for a response from one character.
1. What is the meaning to convey? When she says “ “ Brooklyn is conveying meaning on two levels: (1) surface level, her wanting his boys to return as promised, also she is quite taken with them (2) wanting to see Tarek again and she is attracted to him.
2. What is the cover-up? Misdirection Brooklyn wants to see Tarek again, uses his boys as the reason for having him come back instead of telling Tarek how she feels.
3. When will the true meaning be revealed? During their parting conversation.
4. How will it be revealed? The real meaning is revealed in Tarek’s expression and Brooklyn’s tone of voice.
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2. Then give an example of how they might use each of the cover-up methods.
METHODS OF COVER-UP:
– Silence: Person doesn’t answer when they should.
– Action incongruent with words.
– Change subject.
– Attack back.
– Complement them.
– Threaten them
– Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not.
– Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a different direction.
– Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.
– Distraction.
– Make a joke of it.
– Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.3. Pick the best response. Misdirection
4. Copy and paste the scene at the end, with the response you choose.
EXT/INT. PICKUP TRUCK – LATER
Brooklyn follows Tarek and the boys to their pick-up with its custom grille-guard bumper and oversized all-terrain tires. Tyler gives Brooklyn a bear hug.
She lifts him off the ground, returns the hug. Irrepressible, he whispers:
TYLER “My dad likes you – so do I.”
BROOKLYN (blushes) “Well, I like you guys too.”
Tyler kisses her on the cheek, then SQUIRMS to be let down.
BRANDON offers Brooklyn his hand. The two SHAKE.
BRANDON “You’re good. You can be my snowball partner any time.”
BROOKLYN “We make a good team.”
Brandon bumps fists, then turns away. He gives Tyler a hand getting in the pickup. The two disappear inside the cab.
Tarek walks up to Brooklyn.
TAREK “Thank you for your hospitality. And for the game of Monopoly. You are your father’s daughter. Don’t believe we ever beat Joshua more than a couple of times. The boys were impressed.“
BROOKLYN “Thank-you for the wonderful food. (hint of flirtation) “How can I get a hold of you — if something should go out? Being a big city girl and all.”
Tarek reaches for his wallet, takes out a business card.
TAREK “The office number and my direct line are no longer valid. The cell phone’s mine. Use that number. Anything comes up, call and I’ll come.”
Brooklyn pockets the card, steps close and the two hug.
TAREK “I’m sorry for your loss. Joshua was a wonderful man. “
BROOKLYN “It’s okay.(forced smile)You knew him better than I did.”
TAREK “I better get these kids home. A blizzard is nothing to take lightly.(points north) We have a cabin not far from here. We’ll have you over for dinner. Tyler’s quite the dessert chef.“
BROOKLYN “Love anything sweet.”
Brooklyn steps back, straps her arms across her chest. WAVES as they drive off.
BROOKLYN (chastises) “Good going, Brook. ‘Love anything sweet, what was that?’
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