Day 6 Assignments

[Phyllis Strong]

Phyllis’ Completed P/S Grid #1

I learned from this assignment that if I went through the problems on the grid, and even put down my existing scenes or structure, I got good insight to where I could improve my script.

I strengthened my Teaser by making my creature must more scary in its description.

I strengthened the conflict between my protagonists and the creatures by making the creatures more threatening (out to kill us) and thus upping the stakes.

I am wondering if my B story midpoint is strong enough but I don’t have a solution for that yet so I’ll return to it.

I strengthened Duncan’s transformational journey by upping the stakes — that he might lose his freedom and money if the journey doesn’t work out.

[Mary Andrews]

Mod 4 lesson 6: problem/solution grid

Mary J Andrews Completed P/S Grid #1
What I learned: the grids really helped

Problems solved, scenes improved—which solution used

Filled in scenes in Act1 to correct #9 WEAK TURNING POINT:
Act1 scene 8 expanded to include cryo storage of ambassador…

Act 1 scene 9 (probably too long now) added inter character conflict, assessment of search, added scene 10 &11 for last minute revelation when a mental search for the mind-jacker succeeds and gives more clues as well as ads to the urgency and Ira’s determination is increased, and Ira & Laynald notice how personal it is for him. Fixes lack of power at end of scene.

[Marcus Wolf]

Marcus’ Completed P/S Grid #1

This assignment taught me a specific and systematic way to attack problems in the script. But I will say that it just isn’t as easy as Hal makes it sound!

One of my really weak points is that my Act 3 is too brief. I was able to find more material, interesting and relevant, to add to it, using the grid. I identified a few other problems and got to work on them as well.

I can’t wait to get to the next step, because my script still needs quite a bit of help.

[Kimberly Gore]

Kim’s Completed P/S Grid #1

What I learned from this assignment is that I struggle with breaking down my problems into these bite-sized pieces. I did find places to improve my draft, but would that have come even without using the grid? Not sure.

So, ultimately I knew I wanted to improve the beginning. It’s such a crucial bit because it needs to create a motive for my character as well as open up the mid-point to many possibilities, all based on my male protagonist’s huge character flaw of being a flirt and, possibly, a cheater.

I also wanted to create a stronger mystery surrounding my female protagonist. So I added an extra detail that runs throughout the episode and will continue through all the rest of the episodes, which will eventually tie everything together. This will also produce a bigger set-up for later episodes.

I also looked at my future episodes and seasons and decided I wanted to peripherally introduce characters that will be essential to my storyline. So, I added places where they could be organically mentioned.

I also added another one of my characters to the pilot, even though I initially didn’t plan to have him until further on. And gave it a little extra boost of conflict that way.