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Day 6 Assignments
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POWER PLAYERS LESSON SIX
FRAN’S SYNOPSIS HOOKS
WHAT I LEARNED: Make sure you give them a thrills ride and plenty of goosebumps in your synopsis.
MARKETABILITY: I have most of the components in my steamboat scripts. I’ve been writing it from several resources, none of which are best sellers. Just history books and arcticles.
10 MOST INTERESTING THINGS:
Unique story, Unique heroes
Never told story
Emotional dilemma
Turning points/twists
Big surprises
Danger zones
Major Opening Scene Hook:
Reversals of Fortune
The love story—will Frances choose Albert now?
I begin with this question: Just WHO was my reluctant hero, Charles Welbourne Knapp? And why should we care about him?
This never put to film story is written in three parts: the beginning of the race, the perilous hours in between, and the grand finale and entry into St Louis.
Unique story, Unique heroes:
Everyone loves a race. This is a unique race between steamboats in 1870, with the top speed either met was 17 miles per hour.
My captains are not just salty old seamen, they are inspiring.
PART ONE
Young Charles, just home from college, is commissioned by his father to report on a major story for their paper The Missouri Republican. It’s the story of two steamboat captains, bitter rivals for years have finally agreed to a grueling race up the Mississippi from New Orleans to St. Louis, winner take all. Charles, trained as a lawyer, is reluctant to take on the story, but his father assures him he’ll do well. After all, he is expected as the eldest son to carry on the family business when his father’s gone. There’s another problem. He’s just unexpectedly lost his beloved fiancé, Abigail, and he would rather hide in the shadows to grieve.
But, reluctantly, he goes. The first thing he encounters: Abigail’s cousin, Frances Shackelford, who’s there on a shopping trip with her father. Frances has been in love with Charles since she can remember. Charles can’t even think or hope to love again right now. He doesn’t believe he even wants to. Abigail was the love of his life. But Frances, once she sees Charles, and knows he’s available to love again, is determined to win Charles for herself. She quickly plots to steal aboard the Robert E. Lee, the steamboat Charles is assigned to cover, and woo him.
The two captains, in the meantime, are busily preparing to begin the race. Leathers is a cantankerous old soul, but loved by most everyone as gruff and abrupt as he is and has a soft heart. Cannon tries to act the hard ass, but he is loved and respected by his crew and the people who know him and is a father figure to many.
In a crowd of thousands having gathered for days to even hope of getting a glimpse of the racers, the race begins with a bang—with Frances on board the Lee. Known for his cheating, Leathers is finally outsmarted by Cannon when he gets a leg up out of the starting gate, pinning the Natchez in until the Lee is well on her way up the river.
The Robert E. Lee is several years old. It is pretty much spent as a cargo carrier on the Mississippi, but Cannon knows there’s a lot of life in her yet.
But the race may be over for the steamer before she’s passed 100 miles on her journey. A faulty boiler on board is failing and is ready to burst, killing all on board. Cannon is convinced he needs to end the race before it does.
PART TWO
Luckily, Cannon has an engineer, young John Wiest, a miracle worker in the engine room, who saves the day by repairing the leak before anything goes wrong under horrific circumstances.
Frances, who was quickly realized as being a stowaway, encounters the “wrath of Cannon.” There is little they can do about it. Cannon doesn’t plan to stop anywhere along the Mississippi until they’ve reach St. Louis (although Charles and Frances don’t know that—yet). Charles is charged with keeping an eye on her until they do. Thinking she has won a first date with her eligible young bachelor, Frances sets about preparing for it when she accidentally encounters a young, very handsome, war hero—and a ladies’ man and fortune hunter—who takes her breath away, Albert Eberman, who is all too eager to help her.
In a too fast courtship, Albert manages to sweep Frances off her feet, culminating in a proposal of marriage at their “stop” at Memphis.
While Charles, needing to get off the Lee for some newspaper business at Memphis, watches from the shoreline, suddenly feeling very jealous and very much wanting Frances to be more than just a friend.
PART THREE
As Charles prepares to get back aboard the Lee at Cairo, he encounters Richard Shackelford, Frances’ father, on his train. Neither a big fan of the other, they team up to rescue Frances from Albert’s clutches when Charles tells Richard of the nefarious fortune hunter Frances has fallen for and is now engaged to.
Frances, greatly confused, knows she still loves Charles, but he has continually spurned her advances. And she almost believes her chances are gone now—until she discovers what a Lothario Albert is, catching him with another, older, moneyed, patron on board. John Wiest gives her assurance Albert is not the honest, respected man she thinks he is.
When she meets up with Captain Cannon, who virtually tells her the very same and gives her much needed encouragement about Charles, she finds herself finally liking and respecting Cannon very much.
But the race—and its perils–are far from over, as the captains prepare to enter Devil’s Country, a long stretch of river between Cairo and St. Louis fraught with danger even the best, most experienced steamboat and captain dread to traverse.
And then the danger worsens when a thick, opaque fog settles over the waters making it impossible to see anything beyond the bow of either boat.
Leathers goes as far as he can, but the fog is too thick, too dangerous to go on. He cannot sacrifice his newly built steamboat to the bottom of the Mississippi River. He ties up the Natchez to wait it out until morning.
But Cannon’s crew tells him he can and he WILL GO ON. They can do it. They must beat Leathers once and for all. They band together to get the Lee underway using the “best eyes” on board to help sail the Robert E. Lee through the thick fog, with Charles at the head of the little boat that will course their way through.
Just before dawn, as they make their way to Grand Tower to find bonfires lighting the way for them, the fog also dissipates long enough to open a straight path along the waters toward St. Louis. Cannon takes full advantage of his fortune. FULL STEAM AHEAD.
Cannon finally makes it to St. Louis a full six hours ahead of the Natchez. STREAMS OF CROWDS RUN to greet the steamer. Cannons fire. There’s great celebration in the air. A photo finish!
As well as for Charles and Frances, finding themselves on the Texas Deck watching it all as they sail into the St. Louis harbors, there is another proposal of marriage, this time between Charles and Frances, who discover a new life and a love for each other-until death they did part.
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Lesson 6 – Turning Hooks Into A Great Synopsis – Assignment
Mike O – Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of piquing the reader’s interest in as few words as possible. Hooks are the difference-maker between getting your script read and having it passed over.
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1. Select 6 – 10 hooks that could give an overview of your story.
Opening Hook: A gifted artist, who converses with her father’s ghost, discovers her muse has a home address!
Hook #2: Brooklyn’s legal obligation turns into a series of life-changing revelations.
Hook #3: A stairwell lined with photographs reveals the fact her father has been following Brooklyn’s life since the divorce.
Hook #4: ‘Return To Sender’ written in her mother’s handwriting results in a gut-wrenching epiphany
Hook #5: On the heels of that sickening discovery, the sound of the doorbell.
Hook #6 Brooklyn finds love standing on her father’s porch in the form of a man and his two sons.
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2. Organize those hooks into a sequence that makes sense for the story.
Opening Hook: A gifted artist, who converses with her father’s ghost, discovers her muse has a home address!
Hook #2: Brooklyn’s legal obligation turns into a series of life-changing revelations.
Hook #3: A stairwell lined with photographs reveals the fact her father has been following Brooklyn’s life since the divorce.
Hook #4: ‘Return To Sender’ written in her mother’s handwriting results in a gut-wrenching epiphany
Hook #5: On the heels of that sickening discovery, the sound of the doorbell.
Hook #6 Brooklyn finds love standing on her father’s porch in the form of a man and his two sons.
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3. Using those hooks as an outline, write a first draft of your synopsis.
Brooklyn discovers her dad is not a ghost. Her long lost father has a home address!
A gifted artist, Brooklyn’s muse, her father, surfaces a week before Christmas. Hope is quickly extinguished as Joshua’s greeting card is trumped by a certified letter informing Brooklyn she is the executor of her father’s estate!
‘Love’ and ‘loss’ are interchangeable, four-letter words that begin with “L” in her eyes. Brooklyn’s legal obligation turns into a series of life-changing revelations.
Charming, manipulative, and a sociopath, the antagonist lies to Brooklyn: about her dad’s gallery, about their business relationship, about a lot.
Brooklyn learns that ‘lies’ is another four-letter word she must face.
At her father’s cabin, a stairwell lined with photographs reveals Joshua has been following Brooklyn’s life since the divorce.
In a closet, the reason for Joshua’s silence is discovered in a shoebox. And as Brooklyn rifles through the letters and greeting cards addressed to her, she stares at the words: ‘Return To Sender,’ written across each of the envelopes.
Her mother’s handwriting is unmistakable.
As Brooklyn takes in the deception, there is a knock at the door followed by giggling. She finds love standing on her father’s porch in the form of a man with two, small sons: in for the holidays, unaware of her father’s death.
Hijinks ensue.
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Julie’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is to use the marketability hooks to frame the synopsis. This part is hard for me as I want to outline the beats in the show but there’s not enough space in a query letter. I decided to ditch the pilot outline and talk about the show in broader terms, for now.
<div>Hooks:</div><div>
· A. Unique.
· C. True.
· D. Timely — connected to some major trend or event.
· I. Similarity to a box-office success.
· J. A great role for a bankable actor.
The two teams are yin and yang, power vs. force, militarist policing vs. community policing. While they are in some ways opposites, they can only exist together. But they don’t know that yet. With different cultures, regulations, and mandates, the trick will be to find a way to work together while staying alive in the dangerous Detroit streets.
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David’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is that a synopsis is not the same as a treatment. A synopsis tells the story in a way as to highlight the big selling points of the movie. It’s more like a trailer in words.
A. Unique villain/hero relationship (Father/son)
B. Timely (based on the idea that climate change has increased the frequency and ferocity of wildfires)
C. Ultimate – In this wildfire, an entire town burns down around the hero as he tries to escape
D. High concept – A bank heist in the middle of a wildfire
E. Major twists – turns out the villain actually started the wildfire
F. Emotional dilemma – the hero has to kill his own father
G. Great role for a bankable actor – several, actually. The son, the dad, the county sheriff are all great roles for bankable actors
When his father is released from prison, DANNY SINCLAIR is dedicated to helping his dad rebuild his life in a small town where memories are long and grudges are deep. Things seem to be going well until two of his father’s criminal associates hit town, demanding money his father owes them but doesn’t have. Danny decides to step in and help get the money, leading him down paths that threaten his relationships, his reputation, and his life. In the background, a wildfire has started and is rapidly approaching the town.
As the wildfire rages out of control, the town is evacuated. When Danny goes to evacuate his father, ARLO, he and his two criminal associates hijack Danny and his truck to conduct a bank heist in the middle of the wildfire evacuation. As the town burns around them, violence flares and Danny learns his dad set the wildfire in order to watch the town burn and to rob the bank as it does. Inside the bank, Danny must make a choice between his father and the county sheriff. Choosing the side of the law, he shoots his father and helps the wounded sheriff escape the building as it burns down around them. Both their cars are now ablaze, and Danny must help the bleeding, limping sheriff escape the wildfire on foot.
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