Day 6 assignments

[Lisa Molenda]

Lisa’s Synopsis Hooks

What I learned doing this assignment is that writing a synopsis isn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. It just needed a little organization.

Hooks:

1. Unique. We’ve never seen a vegan as the protagonist or a vegan vampire- especially a vegan or vampire who is pursuing a career in medical science

2. Timely — Veganism is trending. Vegan influencers and celebrities are blowing up right now and going vegan is the biggest thing an individual can do to reduce their contribution to pollution on the planet, more than driving an electric car or using solar energy so its becoming more important to our survival on this planet.

3. The vampires are farming humans for blood

4. The vampires “clean up” the streets of orange county by taking homeless people to the blood farms.

5. A bunch of rednecks believe the vampires have a secret society that is controlling every aspect of their lives through brainwashing.

6. The vampires are actually brainwashing people with their powers

7. Vegans can’t be compelled by the vampires, and they want to put an end to veganism.

8. Jane finally gives in and bites her coworker.

First Draft

Jane, a vegan activist, gets turned into a vampire and has to survive off of blood, avoiding vampire hunting rednecks and the vampires who want her dead, without losing her moral code. She finally gives in, biting her coworker and sealing her destiny as a vampire. She begins getting blood from the vampires or Orange County, who have their own blood bank, but she doesn’t know that they are farming humans for blood against their will. They “clean up” the streets of Orange County by taking the unhoused people to the blood farms. A group of Rednecks believe the vampires have a secret society that is controlling every aspect of their lives through brainwashing, and most people think that they are just crazy, but the vampires are brainwashing people with their powers, except vegans can’t be compelled, so they want to put an end to veganism.

This story is unique because we haven’t seen a vegan as the protagonist, especially not a vegan vampire who is black and also pursuing a career in medical science. Veganism is trending right now among celebrities and everyday people. The plant-based treaty was just unanimously passed by Los Angeles City Council, which will help to shift to a plant-based food system to mitigate the climate crisis, which makes Jane the Vegan very timely.

[Danielle Dillard]

What I learned doing this assignment is creating hooks to form my synopsis draft.

Hook 1: Sasha’s lavish birthday party is ruined when she receives a BMW for her birthday gift instead of the Bentley she wanted.

Hook 2: Sasha’s parent’s kick her and her little foo-foo dogs out of their mansion.

Hook 3: Sasha’s cell phone and credit cards have been cancelled. She has no money and when she turns to her friends and boyfriend for help, they publicly ridicule her, and her boyfriend dumps her for one of her best friends.

Hook 4: Sasha sells her necklace to have enough money to stay at a motel, but in a bad part of town.

Hook 5: Sasha gets jobs for the first time, but her naivete causes her to lose them all, but when she gets hired at a homeless shelter, she begins to learn and grow.

Hook 6: Sasha falls in love with one of the residents at the homeless shelter and he teaches her how to budget, save money and shop at affordable places like Goodwill or the Dollar Store instead of the high-end stores she’s used to.

Hook 7: Her former rich boyfriend wants Sasha back, but not because he loves her, but he made a bet with the paparazzi that he could get her back on the “right side of the tracks.”

This touching family comedy is about SASHA (19), a spoiled socialite diva who has wealthy parents. Her father, WINSTON (40s), works for a successful media firm and her mother, MERCEDES (40s) inherited a large sum of money. Sasha has always been financially supported by her parents to the point she’s unappreciative and takes them for granted. Her daily activities consist of spending her parents’ money, partying with friends, joy riding in her luxury car, going to the salon and exchanging expensive gifts with her famous boyfriend, CHRISTIAN (19). Disappointed at her rotten attitude and carefree lifestyle, Mercedes and Winston’s patience is finally tested when they gift Sasha a BMW at her birthday party, but she dismisses it because it’s not the Bentley she wanted. They cut Sasha off financially and kick her out of the mansion. And to make matters worse, when she turns to Christian, he dumps her for one of her best friends and her close friends ridicule her in front of the tabloids. S<font face=”inherit”>he’s on her own and the whole world knows it. She manages to get temp </font>jobs but<font face=”inherit”> </font>sabotages all of<font face=”inherit”> them with her entitled attitude and naivete, but once she lands a job at a homeless </font>shelter,<font face=”inherit”> her eyes become opened. She falls for BRANDON (19), a resident at the shelter who takes her under his wing and shows her the ropes of survival. She becomes an asset to other residents at the shelter by helping them get jobs and get their lives together. But her character is tested when her old life comes calling… and what she chooses will determine if she’s truly changed her character for the better. </font>

[Tracy Lawson]

Tracy’s Synopsis Hooks/First Draft

This was easier than I thought, after thinking through the most interesting things.

First Draft:

Based on a true story: Anna makes a daring solo journey to save her man—and ends up saving the American Revolution!

In 1776, Anna thinks she has it all: rewarding career as a healer, three great kids, and a passionate relationship with her progressive preacher husband, who sees her as his equal. That is, until he enlists in the Continental Army without consulting her first.

News of starvation and disease at Valley Forge trigger Anna’s long-buried fears. Orphaned at age nine, she spent her youth as an indentured servant. If her husband dies, their children will be “orphans” too, under the law. Anna knows firsthand she will have no influence in her children’s lives if Benjamin should perish. It is better to sacrifice herself to save him.

Anna’s uncle, who was once her guardian, offers to bankroll her trip, but tricks her into delivering funds to finance a smuggling ring that steals supplies from the army.

Furious, Anna tries to undo the damage. She gets her chance when a congressman asks her to carry an urgent message to General Washington that warns the commander in chief of a conspiracy to remove him from his position and derail the revolution. But just hours into her mission, an intimidating man blocks her path and demands she give him the message. Anna has only one choice—outwit and outrun her pursuer the remaining 80 miles to Valley Forge.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Tracy Lawson.

[Ron Horton]

Ron Horton’s Synopsis Hooks, for “Charley’s River”

“What I learned doing this assignment is that concise writing makes the best synopsis. I use the KISS method in so many areas of my life. It only makes sense to have it here as well.

Logline: What will Charlie have to give up in order to live the life he dreams of, with that special love? Could it be, life itself?

Charley Fox is a young, multi-millionaire who is miserable in the rat race of finance. His only escape is through his high energy daydreams. Soaring high over the city on a hang glider; rappelling down the side of high-rise buildings; rafting in 15-foot waves on the Colorado River. Where will these dreams lead?

(Hook- Charley escapes reality through his daydreams)

After finding Susan, who makes him weak in the knees, Charley finds out she isn’t available. So, he lets himself get seduced by a business associate, Marla. It turns out Marla has an old axe to grind, and she trumps up a scandal that will put Charley in prison for a long time if he can’t wiggle free of her scheme.

(Hook- He finds love, loses love, finds a false solution, and gets railroaded by a scorned woman.)

Charley finds a “fixer.” Felicity Heart is from a sorted past, but very good at what she does. Her advice to Charley is to disappear until she can turn the tables on Marla…. which she is very capable of doing.

(Hook – Charley can’t fix the problem, but he uses his contacts to do his bidding for him.)

Charley vacations in Arizona, bunking with his former white water rafting buddy. He melds back into that life easily, and after Marla is taken care of, he decides to remain working the Colorado River.

(Hook- Charley is finding the possibility that his dream life might be attainable.)

When Susan and her boyfriend show up as river guests, Charley has to fight his feelings as much as the river. The boyfriend is not a water person, and ends up out of the raft, in serious trouble. Charley is the only person who can save him.

(Hook- Charley could just get the boyfriend out of the way by letting him drown, but he’s better than that, and shows it by saving his life.)

The possibility of losing Charley turns Susan’s true feeling loose. She and Charley finally get together.

(Hook- Susan finds her real love.)

After six weeks together they are married. On their honeymoon river trip, it’s Charley who ends up out of the raft, being sucked under. Susan is the only one who can save him. She goes through all her training in a matter of seconds and goes in after Charley.

The both end up on the beach, exhausted, healed of contusions, and dry. They can’t believe they survive the ordeal. (Spoiler alert… they didn’t.) It’s not until they see their bodies hauled out of the river by their friends on the other side, do they realize they are forever now, river ghosts.

And the journey ends…. or begins…

(Final Hook- Charley and Susan die, become ghosts, and continue their life on the river, forever.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Ron Horton.

[Sky Canyon]

Sky Canyon’s Synopsis Hooks

(NOTE: HOOKS are in BOLD)

We see a lone figure struggling to walk in high mountains with snow-capped peaks; He shouts, “I’m not dying here!” Then collapses. Who is he, where is he, what’s going on?

A month earlier – New York City: Jack, a Wall Street Guru-Wannabe, lost his father when he was young – his current bravado, arrogance and humor are a cover-up; his desperate attempts to “win” are trying to make up for his emptiness.

However, unbeknownst to Jack, ZHANG, a high-ranking Central Committee Member in China, has reason to crash Jack’s career as a result of being financially embarrassed by Jack’s boss years ago.

Jack has a trophy wife, but is she just there for the glitz and glamour? He feels strangely out of place at her parents’ big party in the Hamptons. Then, he has strange encounters – somewhat mystical – related to a book called “Trekking the Monasteries of Tibet.”

Jack’s longtime pal in China, FONG, who works for Zhang, gives Jack a deliberate bad tip on Zhang’s orders; Jack executes what he believes is a career-defining trade, only to see it go south, to his horror. When the suits barge into the office for a margin call, Jack’s boss, Bill, fires Jack on the spot. Jack goes home, reveals to his wife that he got fired, she boots him out.

Down and out, desperate for a job, Jack has strange dreams of a monk, only to awaken in his dingy apartment to a call from Fong with a job for Jack – finally! Jack “will be in luck now” – but it is literally Lucknow, India.

Reluctant Jack goes to India, only to find the job has evaporated – the Indian crew has no money. He books a flight back to New York only to discover it is routed through Lhasa, Tibet. Hmmmm? In the airport coffee shop, a beautiful Indian woman, JENA, strolls by, the TREKKING book peeking out of her backpack. Jack chokes on his coffee, more than curious. On the plane, he sleeps, but when it lands in Tibet, he sees Jena a few rows up getting off. He scrambles off the plane after her, hails a taxi to follow her jeep, and discovers at a hotel she is the author, and guide to a new trek in Tibet. Her smile melts him, he joins the trek.

Distracted and annoying, he alienates the group and manages to get lost on the trek, and collapses. Found by young boys playing, he lands in a Monastery, and awakens to a monk in his room – it’s the monk from his dream!

Jack can’t pronounce his name so he calls him Miyagi. Jack struggles to find peace, and when he discovers the monks are in desperate financial shape, he offers to teach them to trade the market. Miyagi turns him down. Just when Jack is at his wits end, making a stealth exit from the monastery, Miyagi confronts him and tells him he’ll start teaching tomorrow.

The monks get successful trading; on a walk, Miyagi mentions Jack’s father – a shock to Jack – what does Miyagi know? However, the Chinese appear, smash computers and arrest Miyagi before Jack can learn the truth. Jack is in the dumps again. What’s he to do?

Meanwhile, the young, nerdy monk at the Monastery has invented a device that will transmit frequencies that neutralize pollution in the air, and China has a massive air pollution problem beginning to cripple the country. Jack, desperate to save Miyagi, takes the device to Zhang in Beijing and offers to trade the use of the device and it’s proprietary frequencies for Miyagi’s freedom, only to have the device snatched from him as the guards whisk Jack off to jail. Zhang threatens to execute Jack and Miyagi if Jack doesn’t give up the frequencies to the machine.

In the jail, Jack discovers Miyagi is in the next cell. Miyagi shares that he met Jack’s father, a soldier in Vietnam, when Miyagi lived there after deserting the Chinese army. Jack’s father had tried to save Miyagi’s wife and daughter when their village was shelled, but they died, and Jack’s father died in Miyagi’s arms. Jack is in shock.

Meanwhile, Zhang confronts Miyagi in the jail, we discover they were best buddies when young in the Chinese army, and Zhang felt betrayed by Miyagi when he deserted. Miyagi tells Zhang he is the one in jail in his mind, and Miyagi is dragged away; is execution coming?

Zhang then confronts Jack: Give up the frequencies or Miyagi dies. Jack has a dark night of the soul, with a moment of illumination: He sees all the suffering in the world and realizes he must become the solution. Zhang appears the next morning, Jack presents a bold new view of how things might be if they cooperate together.

Back at the Monastery, the monks scramble to hook up a large version of the device, while In Zhang’s office, Jack is now confident. A moment of hesitation, then the air begins to clear, people in the streets below take off masks and cheer.

At the monastery, a vehicle pulls up, Jack, Zhang and Miyagi exit, a celebration inside. Jack and Jena have chemistry, Jack asks her about coming to New York; she is content with her life in Tibet.

In New York, Jack runs a green investment firm; Jena shows up out of the blue, they kiss, the air is clear and the world is a beautiful place.

What I learned doing this assignment is that it seemed a bit overwhelming to have the story make sense from just a half dozen hooks. I had written a query letter which is a better pitch. Here I’ve got more story in this draft synopsis, but not thrilled with it.

[Marian]

Marian’s Synopsis Hooks – Wetsands

What I learned doing this assignment is, that using the COM and MIT hooks is an interesting way to create a great synopsis.

List of hooks:

A tidal flat crossing turns into a deadly fight for survival for 25-year-old beach volleyball player Hannah and her younger sister Tessa.

Hannah and her sister Tessa miss the ferry to an important beach volleyball tournament on an island. The only option is crossing the tidal flats at low tide.

Hannah wants to get her life back on track after a mental breakdown, win back her sister’s love and find new courage to face life.

Islander Felix, who is secretly in love with Hannah, in truth doesn’t know his way around the mudflats and hasn’t told anyone where they’ve gone.

Nature is a much stronger antagonist than they thought. While wading through a tideway Hannah, Tessa, and Felix are swept away, lose their bearings, and the tide comes in earlier. Felix sinks into the silty sand when he goes for help.

The dangers of a mudflat crossing in the vacation paradise of the North Sea, the impressive nature and the fight for survival in the Wadden Sea, as well as the rescue with a Hovercraft, have never been seen like this before.

First draft of my synopsis:

A mudflat crossing turns into a deadly fight for survival for 25-year-old beach volleyball player Hannah and her younger sister Tessa. Based on true events, we experience first-hand the danger lurking behind the popular vacation backdrop of the North Sea in this gripping survival thriller.

Hannah and her sister Tessa miss the ferry to the island for an important beach volleyball tournament. Their only option is crossing the tidal flats at low tide. Islander Felix offers to guide them through the mudflats. Hannah has felt guilty since her mother’s suicide, needs to get her life back on track and wants to regain her sister’s trust through the tournament. But the idyllic nature turns out to be more dangerous than expected. While wading through a tidal creek, the three become adrift and lose their bearings. To Hannah and Tessa’s horror, Felix doesn’t know his way around the mudflats at all and gets stuck in the dangerous muddy sand. Tensions escalate between Hannah and Tessa. When the tide comes in prematurely and Tessa nastily cuts herself on an oyster, the situation rapidly becomes life-threatening. Can Hannah save herself and her sister from certain death by drowning?

[LEE SKORE]

Lee Skore’s Synopsis Hooks

(5) What I learned doing this assignment is: to make the synposis flow better, I included a few hooks that I did not list in my previous assignments. (I had 23 hooks in my own MIT list, but only listed 10 for the assignment)

(6) LIST OF HOOKS:

— Figure dressed head-to-toe in black bursts into an old cottage, gun drawn. GUNSHOTS. SCREAMS. Three people dead.

— Twenty-five years later, Corey (lead character) finds a photo of herself with two people she doesn’t recognize.

— Corey survives the first attempt on her life.

— Corey learns she is adopted.

— Three skeletons are found at the old cottage.

— Corey’s DNA matches the DNA of two skeletons.

— Corey learns her biological father is her boss’s illigitimate brother. Her boss is the island patriarch and wealthy town mayor.

— Corey learns she is sole heir of the mayor’s fortune.

— Corey finds the Will proving she is sole heir.

— Corey nearly dies fighting her parents’ murderer.

SYNOPSIS FIRST DRAFT:

A Nor’easter thrashes Nantucket Island. A Figure dressed head-to-toe in black bursts into an old cottage, gun drawn. GUNSHOTS. SCREAMS. Three people dead.

Twenty-five years later, Corey (lead character) investigates the old cottage with Will (sheriff) and finds a photo of herself with two people she doesn’t recognize.

That night, Corey survives the first attempt on her life. Will saves her. She also learns she is adopted. Her adoptive parents found her in the old cottage amoung three murdered bodies, but lied to protect her from a killer who might still be on the island.

Three skeletons are found down a well next to the old cottage. Corey’s DNA matches the DNA of two of the skeletons.

From the family attorney, Corey learns her biological father (Jacob) is the illigitimate brother of her boss (Chase) — the island patriarch and town mayor. And… their father (Josiah) left his entire estate to Jacob, but nothing to Chase… making Corey Josiah’s sole heir. But Josiah’s signed Will proving Corey is rightful heir is missing.

Corey finds Josiah’s signed Will. She nearly dies fighting Chase’s wife (Helen) — the person who murdered Corey’s parents twenty-five years earlier.

[Rodney Cavin]

Rod’s Synopsis Hooks

I learned from this lesson to build a synopsis from the hooks of the story.

Abandoned To Die

Lisa runs for her life from a killer but looses the race and Stoner, her captive, shoves her in an old car’s trunk, sets it on fire and lets the flames finish the job.
Opening scene hook

Stoner fails. Brad finds her still alive, treats her but in fear of her life, she refuses to tell him who tried to kill her or why. Brad learns Lisa was an old school girlfriend, but as their friendship warms, she still refuses to reveal her deadly secret. Brad considers letting the Sheriff sort her out, but being an old friend, he’s determined to help her in spite of herself.
Twist/hook.

But Lisa’s not the only one with secrets. As she begins to trust Brad she discovers he could be a worse murderer than Stoner. Every way she looks, she stares death in the face.
Midpoint twist/hook.

Brad is forced to confesses his secret to Lisa in explanation, then coaxes her to reveal that Stoner wants her dead because she saw him murder his wife.
Reveal/hook.

Then Stoner strikes. A desperate, cornered animal, he kidnaps Lisa and sets a trap for Brad. Hurt in the ensuing brawl, can Brad survive, save Lisa and take down Stoner?
Surprise twist/hook.

Running on adrenaline and former training, Brad can’t refuse to try. Will they have a future?

[Brenda Noonan]

Brenda Noonan’s Synopsis Hooks

5. What I learned from the assignment is that I now can pull out what I think are the most interesting hooks for my script and write a pitch that is (potentially!) more interesting than what I would have come up with for any previous pitches I’ve written for other scripts.

1-2. Select 6 – 10 COM/MIT hooks that could give an overview of your story.

3. Organize those hooks into a sequence that makes sense for the story.

COM hooks: Semi-contained setting and Knives Out comp. A group of the world’s best crime writers are cooped up at a yearly crime-writing workshop held on an aristocrat’s country estate. (Knives Out comp)

COM hooks: Ensemble piece and Knives Out comp. Intead of family members, the main suspects are a quirky mix of world-class murder mystery writers who could probably devise the perfect murder.

MIT hook: Turning points. The American writer is elected by the group to find out why the lead instructor is late, and she finds the lead instructor, who has been murdered. her own murder mystery

MIT hook: Emotional dilemma. The detective called in has a crush on the main suspect, an American mystery writer, whose stories he admires.

MIT hook: The detective is beginning to rely on the chief suspect for information, then finds out that in the middle of a previous 6-week workshop, the American writer’s roommate disappeared, and he must re-evaluate his feelings for her.

COM hook: Includes two distinct crime subgenres: the cosy mystery (amateur sleuth) and police procedural (cops). When all the clues start pointing to the American writer (the amateur sleuth), she must solve two murders before the lead detective charges her with them (procedural).

MIT hook: Reversals. When the American writer realizes that she’s being framed for two murders, she has to do her own investigating.

4. Using those hooks as an outline, write a first draft of your synopsis.

Pennyroyal (Penn) Marsh has been accepted at an exclusive crime writing workshop—but the welcome package never mentioned she’d be cast as the real-life villain in a murder mystery!

Ever since she wrote her first bestselling cosy mystery, Penn Marsh has dreamed of getting accepted at a yearly crime-writer’s workshop held at an aristocrat’s country estate. When she arrives, she discovers that the “family setting” (a la “Knives Out”) translates into being cooped up with a quirky group of other successful mystery writers.

When Penn discovers the dead body of the much-hated lead instructor and all the clues start pointing to her, she worries that DCI Emery St. Just, Scotland Yard’s most famous detective, won’t see she’s being framed. And framed by someone who knows just how to do it—another writer who’s an expert in crafting a perfect murder.

Emery, who has a secret crush on Penn and is a fan of her books, must sift through the group of writers and find the murderer. But when he discovers that Penn’s roommate at another workshop disappeared under mysterious circumstances, his support for Penn wanes, and she must pit her amateur sleuthing skills against Emery’s police experience before the frame is complete.