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Day 6 assignments
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10 Replies
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Bree’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned is… this assignment was harder than the Villain’s Intrigue. I think, since I have two timelines in my novel—a twist that is concealed from the reader for most of the book, because it seems like the two storylines are contemporaneous—it makes it tricky to mete out the mysteries in a chronological chain. There are also 3 point-of-view characters, so we get chapters from their alternating POVs. Vero’s story takes place in 1985 in the three days leading up to the flower festival/murder. Skye’s story and Lorna’s story both take place in 2022 in the three days after the flower festival/murder. (Yes: there were two murders at this festival, 37 years apart. Though the first was chalked up to suicide.) In truth I think it probably renders the novel useless for adaption; there are too many visual cues that would give the game away in a movie, like costumes (shoulder pads!), car makes/models, etc. So in a sense, the biggest secret of the book is the dual timelines, which I guess means the real person doing the cover up is not one of the characters… but ME.
1. What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
Lorna is covering up the fact that, during her visit to Italy, she discovers her Airbnb hostess is actually the mother who abandoned her 37 years ago… and in a moment of passion, Lorna almost pushes her off the bell tower apartment… but stops herself at the last possible moment. Which is when the unthinkable happens: Poppy, Lorna’s little girl, pushes her to her death instead.
2. How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.
Lorna will try to deflect suspicion, first pinning the blame on Franco (Francesca’s surviving son), then on Skye.
Lorna will ensure that no one else can trace her lineage and put together that she is Francesca’s biological daughter.
She will silence Skye, who is trying to solve the mystery, at all costs.3. The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
Mystery 1: Francesca’s death is the mystery that kicks off the book—and Skye is compelled to solve it.*
*Still trying to figure out if I need Skye to be compelled by this mystery for a bigger reason than “he wants to be a famous influencer.” Is it that he actually wants to be a serious journalist or investigator? Or is there something even more personal to him? Did his own grandmother die under mysterious circumstances? Something like that? Or is it something I haven’t thought of?
4. Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.
Mystery 1: Who killed Francesca?
Mystery 2: Was it Francesca’s mysterious daughter, Vero?*
Mystery 3: Who was Francesca, really? And who was she to Lorna?
Mystery 4: Did Lorna kill Francesca?
(*red herring mystery)
5. Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.
Mystery 1: Who killed Francesca?
✴Did Francesca fall? Or was she pushed?
✴Once we know she was pushed… was it her son? Was he trying to speed along his inheritance of the airbnb, or did he have some other reason?
✴He talks about a mysterious daughter who is apparently no longer a part of the family—which seems suspicious. Is she the one who pushed her mother to her death?
✴The local police seem baffled; everyone loved Francesca, she was a staple of the community, etc. Who would possibly want her dead?
✴When Skye resolves to solve the mystery, he asks: was it one of the guests? That only leaves Lorna, and it couldn’t possibly be the sweet British mum with two little kids!
✴Someone had a motive. Someone is lying. But who is it?
Mystery 2: Was it Francesca’s mysterious daughter, Vero?* (red herring mystery)
✴Vero (short for Veronica Francesca) feels immense guilt, because she tried to get an abortion—and her super-Catholic mother found out.
✴It makes perfect sense that Vero would lash out against her mother Francesca (who the reader is meant to believe is the victim at the top of the novel). F has threatened to throw V out of the house/disown her forever.
✴In the main timeline, present-day, there are many clues thrown out about Francesca’s mysterious daughter who for some reason is not present. We are meant to think this is Vero, when in reality, Vero IS the Francesca who died; she started going by her middle name years ago, after her own mother passed. The “mysterious daughter” is in fact the baby she gave up 37 years ago, after being impregnated by a manipulative British hotel guest, who then took that baby back to England… and named her Lorna.
✴The moment we are ready to bust her is the big twist: we realize that, in the present-day timeline, Vero could not have committed the murder… because she has been dead since the book began.
✴BIG TWIST: Vero isn’t the murderer. She is the victim. And this only works because Vero’s full name is Veronica Francesca, named after her mother, Francesca. She has been going by the name “Francesca” for years, to honor her mother after she died.
✴We now have to rethink everything, when we realize that only 2 of our 3 POV characters are in present day. This whole time, Vero’s chapters have taken place in 1985, whereas Skye and Lorna’s are set in 2022. We have been reading two timelines with 37 years between, assuming the whole time that Vero’s story is leading up to her mother’s murder. (In truth, her mother died of natural causes years ago.)
Mystery 3: Who was Francesca, really? And who was she to Lorna?
✴Even Lorna did not know who Francesca was before she came to Italy—but of course, when the book starts, she has already killed her biological mother, so she knows the truth from the very first page. Of course, WE don’t know she knows. So far this has made it challenging (though a fun challenge) to write her chapters, because Lorna is hiding her biggest secret from us, the reader.
✴Francesca (real name Veronica “Vero” Francesca) was the daughter of Francesca, the innkeeper. And 37 years ago, when Vero told her mother she was pregnant and had tried to abort the baby…her mother cut her off. Because she failed to get an abortion, she had the baby, and the British guest at the inn who got her pregnant took the baby from her. When his wife found out, she jumped to her death at the flower festival… and Lorna was whisked off to England, without ever knowing the true story of her birth. (HELLO, DAYTIME SOAPS!) She has always taken her father’s story at face value, assuming that her biological mother was her father’s British wife, who jumped to her death from postpartum depression. (Or was she, too, pushed…?) The dates don’t quite match up on this, which will be one of the clues that Skye finds—though Lorna found it first. The date on her birth certificate isn’t right, because she was not born before her British mother’s “fall.” She was born six months afterward. That’s how she starts to piece the truth together.
✴This is the harder mystery, because it can only be revealed amidst the twist. And the twist will be tricky to pull off smoothly—though easier in a novel, perhaps, when you actually CAN reveal things in flashbacks/back story.
✴I know this all seems really complicated! But I promise in a 3-POV novel with two interwoven timelines I can make it work.
Mystery 4: Did Lorna kill Francesca?
✴Yes. And no.
✴She was going to. At the moment she makes her discovery, she is overcome with rage and heartbreak at all she endured… all those years with her emotionally and verbally abusive father… the lies she’s been told her entire life… all because her real mother abandoned her. But in the last moment, she stops herself from giving Francesca/Vero that final shove.
✴Turns out, her little girl was watching the whole thing…. and it is Poppy who sends her grandmother crashing to her death.
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Lesley’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned is…
– All of the villain’s secrets are MYSTERIES.
– I need to establish a mystery chain.
– The writer’s strategy is “secret” then “cover-up”; the reverse of the audience’s.
1. What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
He’s already killed twice and he’ll stop at nothing to get his hands on Kelsey’s inheritance.
2. How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.
Christian’s murder conviction was overturned on a technicality.
He appears to be understanding, gentle, and kind — until he’s not.
3. The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
– Mystery 1: Did Christian murder his wife?
– Mystery 2: Who is sending anonymous warnings about Christian to Sam?
– Mystery 3: Did Christian kill Sam’s mother – or did she die of natural causes?
– Mystery 4: Did Vince Landau kill Christian’s wife? (red herring)
4. Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.
Mystery 1: Did Christian murder his wife?
– His sentence was overturned on a technicality.
– The blood expert accused of corrupting evidence to get a conviction pleads guilty but later claims that he didn’t manipulate Christian’s case.
– The mother of Christian’s fiancé who disappeared alleges that Christian murdered her because she was pregnant and going to make trouble for him. If she’s right, he’s killed before.
Mystery 2: Who is sending anonymous warnings about Christian to Sam?
– Could it be his ex-lover trying to cause trouble?
– His ex-fiance’s mother?
– The blood spatter expert?
– Is Kelsey doing it?
Mystery 3: Did Christian kill Sam’s mother – or did she die of natural causes?
– She has a history of pills and alcohol abuse
– Christian has an alibi.
– She was about to write Kelsey out of the will.
– Did Kelsey ask Christian to kill her grandma?
Mystery 4: Did Vince Landau kill Christian’s wife? (red herring)
– He has a history of violence.
– What did Christian do to cover for Vince in college?
– Why is Christian living in Vince’s house?
– Is Christian blackmailing Vince?
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Mary Emmick’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned is that building a mystery gradient that will keep the viewer engaged for every moment of the story is essential when creating a thriller. A mystery is anything that is kept secret or remains unexplained or unknown. While it is a mystery to us, it is a secret for the villain. The opening mystery forces the Hero into the sequence of mysteries of this movie and never will let go. As writers, our job is to design that first mystery to demand that the Hero solve it.
1. What is the big secret the villain is covering up?
A billionaire cabal wants to take over the world. The cabal is appealing world-wide through wedge issues and propaganda to control power: Immigrants are coming to take your jobs, they are coming for your guns, the Freedom Party wants to eat your babies and are cannibals. They run sham elections, kill journalists, threaten government leaders, public officials, school board members, etc. The cabal supports the New World Order Party and are close to controlling all international media including television, radio, social media and radio. They still do not control the internet which is primarily serviced by UnisoftNW, the powerful software company that Jack Green, Katie’s husband works for. They want to destroy and take control of UnisoftNW so they can have complete international control of the internet.
2. How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.
A barrage of internationally controlled media sites take control of most media and they spread entertaining and amusing, but untruthful information on their television, radio, internet, and social media sites. They promise the people well paying jobs but refuse to raise the minimum wage, they say they will lower taxes, get big government off their backs, appeal to a religious mass of people who believe in a traditional strong masculine leadership style.
3. The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
The first mystery: Someone tries to kill Katie in the carwash. Who is it? Why are they trying to kill her?
4. Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads to the next one. Include ONE Herring Mystery if you can.
· Katie and Natasha suspect someone at Morlovan Immigration Assistance is working against them. Who could this be? They are suspicious of the cold, troublesome Morlovan immigrant Katerina Volodko, who seems to cause no end of problems for their community.
5. Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.
Mystery 1: Who tried to kill Katie and the car wash?
Mystery 2: Who tries to kill Katie and Natasha at the outdoor café by ramming their car into them at top speed?
Mystery 3: Who is responsible for hacking into Jack’s security log in and bringing down the system and protection for UnisoftNW?
Mystery 4: Who is Olga and why did she switch the beer glasses at the Morlovan charity luncheon?
Mystery 5: Who is Moldovan immigrant Katerina Volodko and why is she causing trouble in their community?
Mystery 6: When new garden club member Allison Hanover joins Katie’s garden club, we find she has connections to billionaire Aaron Stench’s Lake Washington mansion and gardens and invites the club on a garden tour. Who is the gardener following them?
Mystery 7: How can Natasha get her brother out of the Tajerkistan prison? If she can get him out, can he take out the corrupt Tajerkistani president, Igor Stepanov?
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Ann-Marie Brennan Mystery Sequence
What I learned doing this exercise. – firstly, I learned that a mystery is really a secret that is not known, a secret is actually a cover up by the villain, so the mysteries (for the audience) are actually the villain’s covering-up of their secrets. This simplifies how to create mystery, by discovering what secrets the villain has and then finding creative ways to cover them up.
I also learned that the more secrets the villain has to hide, the more cover ups they have to do, which create and drive plot. Knowing this my story became more layered.
1. What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
The big secret that Alison (the Villain) is covering up is that she is the murderer
The big secret often points to other secrets that need to be covered.
2. How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries. Make a list of your main mysteries (cover ups) that must be solved to discover the final secret.
1. Alison must cover up that she is the murderer
2. She must cover up that she is framing Dan
3. She also has to have alibis for the murders
4. She must cover up that she had no knowledge of Dan’s affair
(which would connect her to the club and to Sadie)
5. She wants to cover up that her marriage is far from perfect
6. She must cover up her reputation is not as squeaky clean as she leads people to believe :
7. She thought it long hidden that she got awarded Top Law Student at her College by blackmailing the head with photos of him having sex with her
8. She must hide that she is fluent in Portuguese, having taught herself in the last few months
9. She must cover up that she is Anjelica Coracao, from Brazil ( who started work at the club 2 weeks before the murders)
3. The first mystery must engage the hero into solving it
–> He is the prime suspect in the murders of these young women
RED HERRING – Aljelica Coracao
4. Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.
The sequence of solving the mysteries will be backwards. All the mysteries seem like realities up to the point where the Villain achieves her main goal – to kill the mistress and frame Dan. She does this and thinks she’s succeeded:
From this point on, the mysteries will unravel, unknown to Alison. Dan will secretly work with the Detective to find out who really killed the women.
Sequence of unravelling the Mysteries :
Create a mystery chain for each main mystery:
Who is Anjelica Coracao?
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>a. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>Dan is arrested and charged. He knows he is innocent, no one else believes him. Now he’s determined to find Sadie’s killer. </font>
b.
Dan is in prison and Alison (his wife) acts as his attorney. She orders him not to speak to anyone without her being present. Dan agrees.
c.
Alison meets the Press outside, she loves the attention.<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>
</font><font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>d. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>Detective Hanly calls to see Dan. Dan agrees to speak to him.</font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>Dan mentions the dancer Anjelica, who recently befriended Sadie. He remembers Sadie mentioning Anjelica was going to call that day. </font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>e.</font>
Detective <font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>Hanly goes to the Club. Anjelica only started a few weeks back. No sign of her now. They’ve no address, just a number. People come and go. He calls the number, no answer. </font>She has disappeared, no trace.
f.
Det. Hanly returns to jail. Tells Dan there’s no trace of Anjelica Coracao. She must have got scared and left. Dan thinks isn’t that odd? How can anyone disappear?
g.
Alison tells Dan she’s applied for Bail but he hasn’t a chance. She kisses Dan, delighted they’ll make it through this, she promises. It could be the making of them. He nods. (inside, he shivers)
Dan watches on TV as Alison is surrounded by Press, relishing all the attention. He watches her, he knows her fake authenticity, she says she will not stop defending him, she knows he is not a killer.. Something in her eyes makes him think.
h.
Dan calls Det. Hanly, he’s got something to tell him. He asks him does he speak Portuguese?
i.
Det. Hanly meets Dan. Dan confesses their marriage was a sham. He couldn’t admit it until now, was loyal to Alison. All for her show. Alison never loved Dan. They slept in separate bedrooms, she had a ‘do not disturb’ sign permanently on the handle. Dan asks Hanly to look up the what the name Coracao means in English. Hanly does. Heart? So what. Her name is Anjelica Coracao. Angel Heart. So what? That’s Alison’s favourite movie.
Hanly thinks about this. What are you saying?
Alison is Angelica Coracao?
The plot for Alison starts unwinding now.
7. Alison’s Student Days
1. Det Hanly visits Prof Huckney at his home. He discovers the Prof had a very brief affair with Alison, which she photographed and threatened to send to his wife unless she got Top of the Class. She was a good student but she wanted to be Top. Nothing else. Hanly realises Alison would have sex with and then blackmail her Professor to get what she wants. What else would she do?
2. In the College, he looks through records and finds she was in the Dram Soc. Played Lady Macbeth. The reviews were great.
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>Proof needed to connect Alison to Anjelica</font>
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>Dan is given bail – as long as he remains in his own home. Guards will be outside. Alison is furious but manages to hide it. To the Press, she’s of course delighted he got bail. The Press are furious he’s out. </font>
Dan returns home and meets his daughter Nelly. They have a good heart to heart. Alison insists on staying with Dan at all times.
Det. Hanly calls Alison. He needs her to come down to the Station. She insists he come to the house, but he insists she leave.
<font color=”#343434″ face=”Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>When Alison leaves, Dan searches everywhere for anything that might lead to a clue….he finds a dictaphone with a course on Portuguese. I..gh. ….there will be more…i’ll continue but post this to move onto the next assignment.</font>
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firstly, apologies for the font type inclusions in the above. Secondly, i may need to rethink the mysteries, as I have just listed the villain’s cover ups which I thought were mysteries, but now i think they’re not. I dont know if I have enough mysteries in the story….but onward!
Who murdered these women?
Why are these women being targetted?
Who is Anjelica Coracoa?
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Subject Line: Pat Galbraith’s Mystery Sequence.
What I learned is:
All of the villain’s secrets are mysteries.
Learned the pattern of a mystery chain.
Writer’s strategy is “secret” then “cover-up”, audience is the reverse.
1. What is the big secret that the Villain’s covering up?
Who killed the ATV Riders?
2.How many ways can they cover that secret?
After the killing he placed blood in their truck.
He has a false alibi.
Lies to police and his wife backs him up.
He told police the house was lit up like a Christmas tree that night.
Told police his sons were arguing over there that night.
Provided food to the searchers to make himself look good.
3. The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
Three ATV Riders missing after going for a ride on the mountain sets an old detective off to find them alive.
4. Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.
5. Mystery Chain
Mystery 1: Three ATV Riders missing on the mountain.
Mystery 2: Who killed the Riders
Mystery 3: What is John George hiding?
The “Red Herring” makes himself look guilty by arguing with police and not cooperating with the search for the men.
Mystery 4: Is Mr. Favors the killer?
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Pat GALBRAITH Galbraith.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Pat GALBRAITH Galbraith.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Pat GALBRAITH Galbraith.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Pat GALBRAITH Galbraith.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by
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Budinscak’s Mystery Sequence – Day 6
What I learned Doing This Assignment:
o This lesson produced a nice curveball from my original thoughts – making the current villain the red herring.
o Great way to incorporate ideas and into meaningful scenes – getting to the essence of what you’re conveying.
o How mystery shows up: writer strategy is secret, then cover up. Audience experience is cover up then secret.
o A mystery is the villain’s secret.
1. What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
The Commander is brought in to complete the dismantling of a secret project that no long operates in complete anonymity. When he exits tomorrow morning, there will be no trace the project ever existed. Nothing. Regardless of the cost.
2. How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.
UFO sightings, reports of strange/weird animals, anonymous vehicles showing up, partnerships, malcontent employee(s), a pesky intruder.
3. The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
The mystery our hero – Vicki – initially undertakes is getting to the source of the UFO sightings. Her Jeep is literally swept off the road by a herd of deer in escape mode.
4. Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.
What’s the source of the UFO sightings?
What are the reports of weird animals?
Who can be trusted?
Who is the pesky intruder?
5. Create a mystery chain for each main mystery.
What’s the source of the UFO sightings?
Sightings occurred over the past few weeks
Late night drone “drops and deliveries”
Unplanned drone flights
Cell phone outages
Flashing lights in the sky
Vehicle electrical systems have shut down
What are these weird animals?
Aberrant animal behaviors
Wild and farm/ranch animals restless and on edge
Reports of 6-legged animals running around the hills
Unnatural sounds at night
A videos show up on the internet
Who can be trusted?
Current staff of consultants includes some bad people
Captured campers/cave explorers
Partners – with local forest ranger department
Team brought with the Commander
Malcontents employees
Who is the pesky intruder?
Did a villain’s enemy sneak in
A competitor send in one of its own
Disgruntled employee
Local law enforcement, forest ranger
Something alien
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What I learned is that Thrillers are based on Mystery, and mystery sequences and mystery chains. That Red Herring characters are really important to make the project more entertaining and fun for the audience.
1. The big secret that the Villain is covering up is The Judge’s use of the Book of Azariah to summon the devil and transform his son Jack into the Angel of Fire, to finally have the upper hand over The Company. In order to complete the transformation, the Judge and Jack need 11 souls and the undying devotion of one soul. They will stop at nothing to get what they need.
2. The Judge and Jack can cover up their secret in many ways. They hide the murders by claiming there is a serial killer on the loose, or more controversially, a serial killer within the town. The Judge covers Jack’s crimes by his influence and manipulation of the legal and political systems in the town. Jack covers his crimes by appearing to be an upstanding citizen of the town. He also covers his crimes by having the boys do them or appear to do them. He buys their silence with money, drugs, guns, alcohol and women – specifically Laura. Jack hides his ulterior motives with the boys through his work with the beloved Program. Jack convinces Laura to help him and uses her to help him conceal his and his father’s work. The Judge uses his connections and relationships with The Company to cover all of the crime and rituals taking place in the town. As long as the guns, drugs and money are flowing in the correct direction, The Company doesn’t care what happens in the town or who gets hurt – they have bigger fish to fry. Jack uses his long relationships with the people of the town to disarm them into trusting him. Jack specifically uses his relationship with Keith and Heather’s family and Gabe’s family as a shield to protect him from anyone who would stop him, while using Keith, Heather and Gabe to further his evil agenda.
3. The first mystery that engages Keith into solving it is why Jack had Gabe perform a ritualistic killing of three boys in the woods and why Jack makes it seem that Keith did the murders. The killings put Keith directly in the middle of Jack’s plan from the very beginning, whether he likes it or not.
4. The Sequence of the Mysteries:
Mystery 1: Who killed the three boys in the woods and why?
Mystery 2: What is Keith hiding? What is Jack hiding? Laura? Gabe?
Mystery 3: Who is the serial killer doing all of these murders? Is it Keith?
Mystery 4: What is The Company doing in Black Maple and why have they given the town over to The Judge?
Mystery 5: What is the purpose of the rituals Jack, Laura and The Judge are performing?
Mystery 6: Who is the behind all of the mayhem in the town? Keith? Gabe? Jack? Laura? The Judge?
Mystery 7: Who will win?
5. The Mystery Chains
Mystery 1: Who killed the three boys in the woods and why?
– Three high school boys who identify as “goth” in the town where the boys were killed are arrested and charged with the murders.
– It appears that those boys did the murders. Everyone is sure of it, because they are such weirdos and because of the disgusting, ritualistic murder of the boys in the woods.
– This chain of events is a lucky (maybe more than lucky) break for the real killers, who are still on the loose.
Mystery 2: What is Keith hiding? What is Jack hiding? Laura? Gabe?
– Keith comes home with blood all over him, explaining that they killed several deer while they were out.
– Keith is openly rebellious against his abusive father. They fight verbally and physically, constantly.
– Keith has all the hallmarks of a “bad kid” the drinking, drugs, girls, skipping school, etc.
– Jack has all the hallmarks of a “great guy” – his family helped build the town and owns half the land, his father is The Judge, Jack is a preacher, he does service work with the town’s youth, everyone loves him, including Keith’s own sister Heather.
– Laura is the teacher of the town’s gifted children and a great friend to Jack and his family. She has an unusually close relationship with Jack and The Judge.
– Gabe comes from one of the wealthiest families in Black Maple. He is very quiet and somber. He is always by Jack’s side.
Mystery 3: Who is the serial killer doing all of these murders? Is it Keith? Is Laura involved?
– Laura and Keith are the Red Herrings.
– Heather and Keith are both trying to figure out what is going on in the town, but they’re not helping each other (although they should).
– After the three boys are arrested and charged for the murders of the boys in the woods, the strange, ritualistic killings continue – sparking the residents of Black Maple to wonder if the police got the right murderers the first time or if the new killings are copycat murders. Either way, the small, prestigious town of Black Maple, Arkansas is shook.
– After the “Boys in the Woods” murders Keith seems to spiral out of control. His drinking, drug use, promiscuity and violence ratchet up. He appears to have basically lost it. He still has the trappings of a wealthy kid – being given a car and clothes by Jack – another point of contention between Keith and his abusive father.
– The town searches for a suspect for the killings. Keith is a prime suspect. Keith must figure out what is going on in order to save himself, but does he have the wherewithal to do so? To make matters more complicated, his sister Heather, who has been his best friend his whole life tells Jack that she feels that she doesn’t know Keith anymore and that although she hates to say it she thinks he may be responsible for the murders.
Mystery 4: What is The Company doing in Black Maple and why have they given the town over to The Judge?
– The Judge has worked for The Company since The War. He has accomplished all kinds of missions and performed all manner of tasks for The Company. He has proven himself to be a valuable asset and a reliable figure for The Company.
– Because of their connection to The Judge, The Company is using Black Maple as a base of operations for their guns, drugs and money smuggling operations between Arkansas and Central America. This is a billion dollar enterprise, helping to prop up rebels in Communist countries. Only the top elite figures in Black Maple know this is going on.
– Because of the smoothness and success of The Operation, The Company has given The Judge carte blanche over the town. As long as it doesn’t affect The Operation, they don’t care what happens in Black Maple. The Judge uses his influence with The Company to sweep things he doesn’t want out under the rug. He also uses his connection with The Company to impress members of the town and help them to see him as their unquestioned leader. To go against The Judge is to go against The Company, and that is unthinkable.
Mystery 5: What is the purpose of the rituals Jack, Keith, Gabe, Laura and The Judge are performing?
– Jack, Keith, Gabe and many other boys are seen performing dark rituals with Laura, The Judge and a few of the other prominent townspeople.
– Heather questions Keith about these rituals and he blows her off. Heather doesn’t know Jack or The Judge are involved and thinks this is proof that Keith is the one performing ritualistic murders.
– The Judge and Jack know what the ultimate purpose of the rituals are. Laura thinks she knows, but doesn’t have the full picture. Laura is a suspicious character to Heather and Keith’s mom. Heather had her as a teacher and doesn’t trust her. She thinks she’s “too friendly” with some of the students, i.e. she stole a boy away from Heather while they were in class together and she holds a grudge because of it.
– Because of her distrust of Laura and her growing distrust of Keith, Heather thinks that Laura may be using Keith for the murders, but she isn’t sure why, she’s just very suspicious of both of them, even though she loves Keith.
– Keith is taking part in the rituals, but he doesn’t know what their ultimate purpose is or why the murders are occurring. He knows that Gabe and Jack are behind the murders, but he doesn’t dare speak out against Jack without having solid proof or more importantly for him, a deeper understanding of the plan.
– Keith wants to understand the purpose of the killings and rituals, but Jack keeps him ignorant, and when he does tell him things, he gives him false leads and information to throw him off.
Mystery 6: Who is the behind all of the mayhem in the town? The Judge? Jack? Keith? Gabe? Laura?
– Everyone in this situation has their own agenda at heart and is working to play everyone else.
– The Judge hates being controlled by The Company and plans to use The Book of Azariah, that he found on a mission in Italy, to summon the devil and transform his son into the Angel of Fire, who he will control, to finally have the upper hand with The Company. In order to do this, he must do what The Company wants and also keep himself and Jack out of trouble until their plan is complete. He must also manipulate his own son into believing that he is doing this with him, instead of just sacrificing him.
– Jack is using his father’s influence and plan to wreak havoc on the town of Black Maple while people continually praise him. Jack holds a massive grudge against both his father and the town that looked the other way while the Judge brutalized him, his sister and his mother. Jack is going along with the Angel of Fire plan because he has covertly found a way to bend the ritual to his own needs to finally gain power over his father. Jack will stop at nothing to accomplish his plan – he doesn’t care who he must hurt, traumatize or kill. He even seems to take pleasure in inflicting pain and suffering, while everyone views him as a wonderful pillar of the community.
– Keith is viewed by the town as the obvious choice for who is doing the killings, although there is no solid proof against him. Keith is a red herring – he appears guilty of the Boys in the Woods murders and gives everyone every indication that he may be insane, but really he is the long suffering victim of abuse by his father, Jack and Laura and has lost the ability to process everything that has happened to him and everything going on with The Judge and Jack’s plan. When he tells Heather about The Company, The Rituals, etc she is convinced that he has lost his mind from drugs and doesn’t believe him – actually going to Jack with this information, causing Jack to put his final plans for murder – Keith’s family – into play.
– Gabe is essentially Jack’s right hand man. Gabe is his nephew and for as long as anyone can remember, has always been a help to Jack. This pleases Gabe’s prestigious family a great deal and they are proud of Gabe for being the All American, good boy. What his family and the town don’t know is that Gabe, having been abused and brainwashed by Jack since he was a very young child, will do literally anything for Jack regardless of the consequences.
– Laura is the teacher of the gifted group. Laura is not completely innocent – she sleeps with students and allows Jack to use her as bait in the Ritual, but she is also not completely guilty of being behind the Transformation plan either. Laura is an opportunist, who after being abused by The Judge at a young age, learned that sexual power over someone is power and she has continued with that M.O. through her teaching career and into the process of the Ritual. Laura is a Red Herring in that she is not the architect of The Plan nor will she benefit from it – she just sees an opportunity and is trying to capitalize on it, the only way she knows how.
Mystery 7: Who will win?
– Ultimately Heather and Keith’s mom and dad are both killed by Gabe and Jack.
– After being suspected of the murders for several months, the killing of his own family is too much for the town and Keith takes the fall for all of the murders.
– Laura is also sacrificed during the Ritual, losing her life.
– The transformation is successful for Jack, he becomes the Angel of Fire in front of the boy’s eyes during the ritual. The boys think he has died, which technically he has, but through the powers of the devil he comes back in the same form, although he is now in the devil’s service and can shape shift and appear as an apparition to people – as he says to Keith – you didn’t think I’d just be walking around on fire all the time did ya?
– The Judge’s plan has worked, but Jack double crosses him and gives up The Judge as a criminal for his crimes with The Company.
– The Company slithers away, having made billions, supported rebels in Central America and wrecked hundreds of thousands if not millions of lives with the guns and drugs they’ve run. To The Company Black Maple was just an Operation, not unlike a thousand that preceded it and a thousand that will come afterwards. They move on.
– After The Ritual is complete, Gabe is one of the few loose ends for Jack. Outwardly Jack offers Gabe support and friendship to help with what he’s gone through. Secretly, Jack haunts Gabe, giving him horrific nightmares and telling him he will never be safe. Eventually Jack tells Gabe that he will either spend his life in prison like Keith or he will take the man’s way out. In front of his family and Jack, Keith kills himself, tying up a loose end for Jack.
– With Heather, Laura and Keith’s mother and father dead and Keith and The Judge in prison (prison is a worse fate for The Judge than death because he will be incarcerated with everyone he put away for 50 years) Jack has finally accomplished his plan of getting revenge on his father and the town that enabled him.
As Jack drives out of town, what he will do next with his newfound powers is anyone’s guess.
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THRILLER ASSIGNMENT DAY 6
Alfred’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned doing this assignment is:
1. I’m already seeing places where the story isn’t working because of thinking out of the sequence, so I’ve changed some things and more mysteries are showing up.
2. I’ve learned I can’t write the whole script in 30 days, so I need to ease off and just focus on the learning. I’ve been in hospital and now I’m having a hard time recovering.
MYSTERY SEQUENCE
What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
a. He is guilty of government theft
b. He is guilty of misusing his government job
c. But most of all, he is also guilty of murder
How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.
a. Discourage people from getting too close to the secret.
b. Point them in other directions
c. Kill them if they figure it out.
The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
A. Who are the dead men, how were they killed, and why were they killed?
a. A Bureau of Land Management, Spencer, reports there are dead bodies in the mountains there is fear of terrifying creatures in the mountains, maybe even Aliens, and the valley people are terrified.
b. They find the mutilated and dehydrated remains of four men, scattered.
c. The site is far off the traveled trails, but it is also the epicenter for a recent earthquake, which makes it even more terrifying.
d. Spencer is coerced by his boss into checking it out.
e. And the lodge owner is right. Four men are dead.
B. Who is the Lodge Owner who is so replete with such far-fetched tales
a. They are greeted by a wiry woman from Austria, full of tales of mythological creatures she claims she saw in Europe—high mountain creatures.
b. How did she know there were exactly four bodies?
C. Why is the area around the mutilations fenced off?
a. Nobody seems to know why. There is no protected habitat.
b. But there was an earthquake, and this was its epicenter.
D. Why was a three-mule, mule team led into a trailhead, unloaded into a truck, led back into the mountains, empty, never to return – but the truck disappears during the night?
a. Who was the mule team leader, and who drove the truck away, and where did the mules come from… and end up?
Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include one Red Herring mystery if you can.
a. Rumors of Mythological Creatures and Aliens abound in the mountains.
b. Two officials from land management stay in a lodge just outside a wilderness area.
c. They outfit themselves with a couple of mules and enter a wilderness area.
Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.
a. Rumors of Mythological Creatures and Aliens abound in the valley. A man by the name of Spencer stops at tackle shop and is warned.
b. Spencer (the Hero) – who is he and how does he become involved?
c. The Lodge Owner (the Red Herring) – Who is she and why is she spreading such crazy unreasonable rumors?
d. ETC.
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Subject Line: Busy’s Mystery Sequence
“What I learned is you need to start with the reveal of the big secret and reverse-engineer it to create a mystery sequence. (This is for a pilot for tweens/teens so two mysteries will keep it less complicated for kids/young teens).
1. What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up? Lorelei killed Ron.
2. How many ways can they cover that secret?
Did Lorelei kill Ron?
What is Steffi hiding?
Those become the mysteries.
The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.
Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.
Mystery #1 Did Lorelei kill Ron?
Befriend the lonely Maisie to use her later
She was with Ron at the lounge. Did she do it?
Get Maisie to help her, by encouraging her to investigate and tell her what’s happening while she’s in jail.
Maisie tells the court during the arraignment that she heard Steffi confess to Kevin in his office.
The information is now fruit of the poisonous tree (HIPAA laws broken – Maisie works in her father’s practice for pocket money) – Lorelei goes free dues to the knowledge of Steffi’s confession shows they arrested the wrong person
Mystery #2 – What is Steffi hiding (RED HERRING)?
Steffi becomes caustic and then unhelpful to the police
Steffi says things that make her seem she’s glad Ron’s dead
Steffi had monkshood in her garden, but pulled it out and discarded it after Ron died.
Steffi has complained to friends in the past that she was frustrated that Ron would not dig into his massive trust fund and that they had to live on their smaller salaries.
Steffi alludes to hating Lorelei for having an affair with Ron and that she deserves whatever she gets (prison).
Steffi confesses to Kevin.
Steffi recants confession in judge’s chambers since it was supposed to be covered by HIPAA.
Steffi seems smug instead of relieved that the confession cannot be used.
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