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Day 6 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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25 Replies
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Kathy’s Mystery Sequence
Answer the question “What I learned is this is complex.”
The Mystery Sequence (Mystery)
What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up? Who is Ben? Ben is a handsome charming con man. He partners with Marcie to find women who are recently divorced and have expensive houses. He woos them, marries them, then cons them into putting his name on the deed. He has already done this twice. First wife was hit in a car accident, leaves the country. Second wife still in Atlanta but renting a small rundown house since he got her big house.
The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it. Who is the woman in the wheelchair at the airport?
How many ways can they cover their secret?
Make a list of your main mysteries (cover ups) that must be solved to discover the final secret.
1. What is Ben hiding? Ben has already conned 2 women out of their houses.
2. What does Ben want? He partners with Marcie to find women who are recently divorced and have expensive houses. He woos them, marries them, then cons them into putting his name on the deed. Marcie is selfish but pragmatic. She knows she must help Ben to make any money.
3. Who drove the car that hit Simone? A lady in a red dress, a possible red herring.
4. Will Simone discover Ben’s coverups? She finds out that he lied to her on their honeymoon, lied about a real estate contract, lies about having 2 previous marriages, lies about a pre-nup with a secret clause, lies about the ex-wives, lies about the boat, lies about Marcie on the boat.
Ben and Marcie are partners in crime. Ben sleeps with Marcie in Savannah but is not in love with her. He just wants her help to get what he wants.
Simone is trusting to the end. She doesn’t believe that her new husband is a con man or at all dangerous.
1. Ben wants to marry a single woman in a big house.
2. Finds Simone
3. Romances Simone
4. Marries her
5. Tries to get his name on her house
6. Fails
7. Gets his partner Marcie to do his dirty work
a. A woman in a red dress hits Simone with a car, fractures her elbow
b. Marcie hits Simone with a tennis racquet at a resort
c. Marcie hits Simone with the sailboat boom
8. Ben socks Simone on the boat
9. Ben shoots at Simone on the boat
d. Marcie shoots at Simone on the boat but misses
( The boat catches on fire but all live. Ben and Marcie are jailed, Simone sells his condos, goes to Paris, which is the other bookend since she wistfully looked at a Paris poster in the first scenes.
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To illustrate the Mystery Structure & Chain and a Red Herring character, I think it would be more helpful if we had a different example than Basic Instinct. I have trouble with the assumption that Catherine is the Red Herring. Why? I read that both the director and Sharon Stone have said that Sharon Stone is the actress in the opening scene.
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I heard Sharon Stone say, when asked “did she kill him?” she said YES. If it was Beth’s plan to set up Catherine, why would she do this even before Nick had even met Catherine? And if she killed A.I. guy Nielsen, why would she make it look like Nick did it when she really wanted Nick back into her life?
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If Beth did it, if it hadn’t been Nick, it would have been the next guy Catherine went after. Nielsen isn’t AI, he’s IA. He’d talk funnier if he was AI.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Jeff Guenther.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by
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Michael Williamsen Mystery Sequence WIL: my story sucks and has big holes needing to be fixed! Challenge accepted. This process has already created ideas not yet in the story.
HERO – Victoria – rookie crime reporter, ex-wife of Sheriff Mike, and being courted by Attorney Bob – need more coverup for Victoria being the brains behind the rescue of the kidnapped children
Villain – Bob – attorney running the kidnapping ring
Red Herring (former hero) – Sheriff Mike – dying of prostate cancer, know to kill suspects
Ziptie strangler – the big mystery person
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Mystery #1) Is Sheriff Mike the Ziptie Strangler
Sheriff Mike investigates a Ziptie strangling scene
Deputy Dan is suspicious of Mike
Mikes’s daughter disappears – apparently kidnapped
Deputy Dan insinuates Mike is killing off kidnapping suspects
Mike is arrested as strangler torturing and killing off kidnapping suspects
Deputy Dan surprises ziptie strangler in alley – appears to know strangler
Bob accuses Mike of being the strangler – Mike doesn’t deny
Bob shoots Mike for killing so many of his thugs
Mystery #2) Who is the kidnapper ringleader?
Mike is accused of being the kidnapper and killing off his competition
Someone suggests Mike of being the kidnappers as being the reason his daughter disappeared when Mike took her
· Need more on this
Mystery #3) will Sheriff Mike reunite with his ex-wife, crime reporter Victoria?
Victoria rejects his attempts at being nice
He is hurt his daughter Lucy and ex-wife Victoria are with another man
Victoria accuses Mike of taking Lucy
Someone suggests to Victoria Mike of being the kidnappers as being the reason his daughter disappeared when Mike took her
Victoria discovers Mike has prostate cancer and no reason to take Lucy
SWAT team raids Mike’s apartment
Mike is arrested – Victoria escapes
Victoria loses her house in foreclosure
Mystery #4) Where is Lucy, Mike and Victoria’s daughter Lucy and who and why?
Lucy disappears
Victoria accuses Mike of taking Lucy – she has disappeared
Victoria threatens Mike with retaliation from Bob
n Why no more mystery on Lucy??? Must ad more
Mystery #5 – what is with all this Mexican flags everywhere?
Mexican flag appears on Mike’s car
Mexican flag appears on Bob’s car
Mexican ghetto is being targeted by kidnappers
Mike’s driver Dave and Bob’s driver Joe seem to know each other
Joe drives Mike, upon his escape, to Mexican Ghetto motel. The parking lot is filled with residents hold Mexican Flags of all sizes.
Bob asks Mike – what the hell is with all these Mexican flags. Mike informs him Cinco de Mayo. Bob asks, when is that? Mike replies today: the first day of the Mexican revolution.
Mexican flags are on many vans as ghetto vans are filled with gangsters.
Vans with flags assault warehouses killing all thugs and rescuing children.
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Holes… great & clear brainstorming. The flags– I always find it odd/amusing when people fly them on their cars during FIFA World Cup, Stanley Cup Playoffs & whatnot. Cinco de Mayo… Mexico’s victory over the French… Victoria must be somewhat French? Looking forward to seeing more of this one. Cheers.
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Hi
it shows you are really thinking through your story and the holes are not that visible
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Emmanuel Sullivan’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned is the writing strategy for creating a mystery sequence is reversed. The secret is created first and then developing the right cover up. The 5-step process is an excellent method for creating mystery. Never thought of a red herring mystery. Excellent!
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Jeff’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned is…
I and other classmates have been inspired and are writing/rewriting scripts rather than wasting time in the Forums! LOL
Combos of big-MIS and mini-MIS in each scene/character is vital. I still don’t see a “map” that guarantees success. A great story– the red herring– is still most important.
Best to keep it simple as too much complication can kill a concept– unless you’re already a producer/directer.
1. Villain is covering up? Personally bankrupt, company near bankruptcy, gambling addiction, resorts to smuggling and using other peoples’ property for today’s cash needs.
2. Cover the secret? Multiple. Every scene he flatters/lies/deceives. Even to his girlfriend and mother. Employees, and the cops.
3. “First mystery must engage the Hero”… I fail here. My script engages the audience as we see what the hero doesn’t see/know, and the reason why the hero falls into the trap. Can someone please explain WHY MUST the first mystery involve the hero directly?
At this point, I have no answers for 4 & 5.
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James’ Mystery Sequence
I am learning that brainstorming these pieces of the puzzle, and working from the end result helps put it together as if by magic sometimes. Logical and “organic” pieces seem to come together and yet – in the back of my mind – I think it is one step of many many more refinements to come up with the great stuff. No worries – it’s the process.
VILLIAN’S GOAL:
PHIL (Tang’s best friend when they were young and played sports together, Tang being a “tomboy.”): His Plan is to sell his Parents farm, and other farms, to the Billionaire to make a shit ton of money and leave this farm town life forever! Goal: to live the rest of his days in NYC!
INTRIGUE:
Phil and 2 others, dress in HOODS with voice disguise mechanisms to force Farmers, at gunpoint, to sign their farm deed over to them.
They kill the Mayor is a terrible way to warn others not to mess with the HOODED ONES.
Find out who killed Tang’s Mother – as he didn’t do it. (I want to reveal at the end that various old-timer townsfolk faked her death together as the only way to get Tang to come home, and with her college degrees – to solve the problems they are having. Unless it is too complex to write)
Get a few more deeds to make it (Iowa farmland is $5,000 an acre: A 1,000 acre farm = $5M)
ONE WITNESS says that the leader Hooded Guy had a mis-step to him, they can tell because they breed horses and you gotta watch for that or they aren’t worth much but for studding.” (Phil has no toes on right foot from a farm accident)
Try to kill Tang and his Love Interest.
Blackmail the Sheriff into submission.
Pushing to sign the deal now – all cash.
Already sold Tang’s farm but Tang nor Dad knows about it.
COVERS SECRETS:
Needs to keep the Townsfolk in the dark about all this. And keep them quiet.
Kill Tang’s Mother in Phil’s Garage cuz she snoops and finds HOODS. (Try to blame it on SOMETHING!)
Try to “help” Tang find the Hooded Villains even though he is their leader.
Set the old neighbors and friends against Tang for being Trans Male, all the wild being his truest friend, like they were best friends back in High School.
Killing any one who finds out – but disguising the death as some other cause.
Keep Tang distracted and confused during his investigation.
SEQUENCE IT: to make it as intriguing as possible.
Tang’s Mom’s death brings Tang home.
Finds prejudice, being Trans Male, and scorn from the people she grew up with Except for a few of his direct classmates from before, he has to overcome it to solve the mystery.
Has to assert himself to get medical and coroners report. Finds comfort with Phil and a Girl she had a HS crush on like her as a “Him.”
Clues lead to the mysterious HOODED GUYS.
Then Farms deeds bought up by shell companies.
Also chemicals and samples on the body and in the lungs suggest Mom killed somewhere else.
Tang gets a hang for this as she finds the Mayor was killed suspiciously and calls the FBI to get someone over – and see she is ready to join.
Chemicals or something connects to Phil’s barn and implicates Phil’s dad – the Sheriff – (he is the RED HERRING)
Tang gets together with the Unrequited love from HS but they are later attacked and she is killed.
Tang puts it together that it could be Phil but needs to get evidence – How?
Set up a sting with her Dad to sign off another farm in his family and unmask the Hooded Guys!
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This feels like a dark-comedy thriller. Hope you can make it work.
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Subject Line: Roscoe’s Mystery Sequence
“What I learned is…?” How the mystery sequences keep the story thrilling. This is the beginning of my super-natural thriller with mystery sequences. I’m working on 3-4-5 main mysteries. This is fun.
MYSTERY 1: Who killed members of the Navajo “Tso” family?
A Navajo skinwalker/witch “shape-shifts” into a black wolf. It kills the Tso family.
That wolf then “shape-shifts” back into human form and disappears.
Tribal Cop Stephen Jackson is native/indigenous. He is called in-to investigate the murders.
Stephen finds large animal tracks near the crime scene. They are larger than normal.
The Tso family used to be Stephen’s in-laws. His ex-wife is Gabby Tso.
MYSTERY 2: Navajo skinwalker/witch attacks Stephen and his cop partner.
Stephen and Billy visit Gabby’s home. They cross the path of the skinwalker.
The skinwalker “shape-shifts” into a black wolf and tries to run Stephen’s truck off the road.
Billy shoots wolf with gun, but the animal turns into dust.
Gabby lies to Stephen. She says she doesn’t know about this skinwalker.
The skinwalker “shape-shifts” into 2 grey wolves and they kill Gabby’s dog.
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Wayne’s Mystery Sequence.
What I learned: I’m layering elements. It would take a lot more time at this point to make it clear. It’s a baby step in the right direction.
The Big Secret: Nearing retirement Police Captain Benjamin feels vulnerable. He has been corrupt and amassed a fortune. Without power and authority someone might try to bring him down. The Captain has maintained a hidden (disguised) identity, Mr Metal, leading crooked cops, judges, and lawyers.
1. Who tried to kill Captain Benjamin but killed the wrong cop?
Captain is acting crazy. Maybe the close call with death?
Captain doesn’t trust. Brings in new hire to investigate.
Why does Captain interrogates all men about corruption?
Why is the Captain so sure it was one of his men?
Is Captain Ben hiding evidence about the attack?
Does Cheryl know why someone tried to kill Benjamin?
2. Why hire Cheryl (Hero) fresh out of the academy to investigate?
Why does Captain reign her in when she’s doing a great job?
Who tried to Kill Cheryl?
Why is Cheryl so unafraid and loving her dangerous job?
Cheryl is working on a dissertation but won’t talk about it.
Cheryl has a suspicious self defense murder in her past.
Why does Cheryl bait the killer?
3. Who is Mr. Metal?
Is his mention of Mr Metal the reason “wrong cop” died.
Is Captain’s alternate personality Mr Metal?
Does Mr Metal exist?
New hire Boyd, near retirement, talks about Mr Metal Myth.
Everyone that tried to record Mr Metal was killed.
Is Benjamin Mr Metal?
4. Why is everybody so sure Captain Benjamin is squeaky clean?
Will Captain Benjamin get away with keeping his fortune?
Why is the Dr afraid to say Benjamin needs help?
Why are cops so afraid when Cheryl torments Benjamin?
Who is slaughtering his whole department?
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Jim Peacock Mystery Sequence
As always I’ve learned about how to layer. I’ve heard it obviously forever but it’s always been a fear of mine. Practicing it has been good for me.
The General’s secret is that he’s plotting to break into Cheyenne Mountain with Iranian loyalists who have infiltrated the American military. This will give him access to nuclear weapons.
Mystery 1 – Who is trying to kill Skinny and why? Is it the US Army?
— Skinny barely escapes as US military-clad soldiers invade his apartment
— These military agents continue the chase and eventually capture him, but are discovered to be FBI re his hacking
Mystery 2 – Is Alicia an agent of the General? Why?
— Alicia could easily pass for a your Iranian. Is she involved?
— She woos and eventually catches the eye of Skinny. Is it real?
Mystery 3 – Is Bastien an agent of the General? Why?
— Bastien is French Canadian, but dark complected. Is he an agent?
— Bastien may work for the General; or something is fishy
Mystery 4 – Why is the FBI chasing Skinny and gang?
— It turns out to be, in the third act, a Iranian/Iraqi militia commander
Mystery 5 – Once the plot discovered, can the General be stopped?
— Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion
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Subject Line: Larry’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned is that this process helps to focus on the details of each mystery and to see it through the eyes of the audience.
What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
The Big Secret is a ring of pedophiles, comprised of top city officials, who want to keep identities hidden while continuing to find “material” for their pleasures. One of the members procures victims and eliminates them after photographing them. Others work to help keep the killer from being uncovered when a victim of the killer is discovered.
How many ways can they cover
that secret? Those become the mysteries.– There is the murder of a child
– Get a “washed-up” detective to solve murder of a child
– Set up a “fall guy” for the murder (misdirection)
– Destroy or dismiss evidence related to the case: this will include (but not limited to) a pair of eyeglasses, a sketch of the killer, eyewitness testimony as to the identity of the killer
– Killer: – pretends to help detective with case by suggesting suspects, plants evidence, sends threats to detective, tries to kill detective and another child
The first mystery must engage
the Hero into solving it.– The first mystery involves finding a dead child’s killer
4.Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.
Who the murderer of a child?
Why is the detective given this case?
Is the “fall guy” truly guilty?
What happens to certain pieces of evidence that would help identify the true killer?
Is an “eyewitness” (a former victim) credible?
Will the killer “get away” with his murder and save the identity of the ring?
Create a Mystery Chain for each
main mystery.Who the murderer of a child?
– The killer has photographed then killed a child, but been careless in hiding its body which gets discovered
– Multiple suspects are presented at the beginning of the investigation
– The killer sends death threats to the detective to scare him off the trail
– He sets a trap in an abandoned factory to try to kill the detective.
Why is the detective given the case?
– A “washed up” detective with a drinking problem is given this high-profile case, as directed by the police chief (a ring member) because it is believed he will be incompetent and unable to find the killer’s true identity.
– He is directed to find facts that will prove the fall guy is guilty
Is the “fall guy” truly guilty?
– Pictures of the slain child which are directly linked to the fall guy.
– The killer provides personal knowledge of the fall guy which implicates him
– The fall guy becomes disillusioned with the process and is embittered, truculent and uncooperative.
– He has no alibi for his whereabouts at the time of the murder.
– During his trial much of the “evidence” is circumstantial and he is found guilty.
– The judge (one of the ring members) railroads the trial.
What happens to certain pieces of evidence that would help identify the true killer?
– A pair of eyeglasses, in the storage locker put there from a previous assault investigation (the killer’s first victim), belongs to the killer and when discovered gets redirected to the police chief and “disappears”
– The victim’s first victim, mentally challenged, provides a sketch of his attacker which is a good likeness of him; the sketch “disappears”
– The victim’s accusation that he knows the killer is dismissed due to “mental incompetence
Will the killer “get away” with his murder and save the identity of the ring?
– Once the killer realizes his identity could be uncovered by the detective he first threatens him, trying to scare off the detective
– When that fails he sets up an ambush to kill the detective in an abandoned factory, holding a child as hostage
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Kimberly’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned: knowing that Catherine was the killer/puppet master in BI makes it hard to follow the example. So I think I understand what this is about – each mystery unfolds, leading us to the next mystery. I think. However, I am certain that this is making my MSC Phase 3 script 100% stronger.
Villain’s big secret: he is a killer wanted by the police
Cover-ups that become mysteries:
· Why does he want to steal the boat?
· Why does he turn Lacia and Emma against each other?
· Why does he try to kill Lacia and Emma?
Red Herring – Emma is an accomplice with Rian.
Mystery 1 – Why does he want to steal the boat?
· He convinces Emma that Lacia is dangerous and they should leave her behind on their dead-in-the-water boat
· To ensure Lacia doesn’t get rid of them, Rian injures her so that she can no longer sail solo.
Mystery 2 – Why does he turn Lacia and Emma against each other?
· Knowing Lacia only needs one person to help her, he makes sure that the women don’t trust each other through gaslighting and outright deception.
· Tells Emma that Lacia has been coming on to him during their sailing lessons.
Mystery 3 – Why does he try to kill Lacia and Emma?
· He throws fish guts into the ocean when Emma is spear fishing in order to attract sharks.
· During storm, he throws Emma overboard.
· Realizing that Lacia recognizes him from his Wanted poster, he tries to kill her during the storm.
· Lacia rescues Emma and fights back. Possibly killing Rian.
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Leona Heraty’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned doing this assignment is…starting with the villain’s secret and then finding interesting ways to cover them up is an easier way to create the mystery chain! This process is complex, but well worth doing!
1. What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
Tuvelle has been stalking and sabotaging McKenzie since Nov 1 and plans to kill her at Perilous Peak by pushing her over the edge.Mystery 1: Who is The Masked Figure that follows and stalks McKenzie in the opening scene, then later stalks Tuvelle and then Tuvelle and McKenzie? Why is the Masked Figure stalking them?
Mystery Chains
Tuvelle wears a mask and cloak in the opening scene and stalks McKenzie when she’s going to and from work and lets the air out of her tire.
Tuvelle follows McKenzie in her car when McKenzie gets lost on the way to her Mom’s house.
Tuvelle follows the Uber driver when he drives McKenzie to the state park.
Tuvelle screams on the hiking trails near McKenzie.
Terry appears on a ridge as the Masked Figure, and waves a knife, to frighten McKenzie.
Tuvelle sobs loudly near the cave.
Tuvelle leaves a backpack with bloody stains on it in the cave with a note saying she’s being chased by a guy with a mask and knife, with her phone number, and to please help!
Terry is dressed as the Masked Figure and he runs outside past the cave, while McKenzie rides out the storm and meets the Off-the-Grid club.
McKenzie exits the cave and calls Tuvelle’s cell number. Tuvelle says she’s being stalked by a guy with a mask and a knife, then screams and the line goes dead.
McKenzie spots Terry, who is dressed up Masked Figure, on a ridge above her, waving a knife. Terry is the RED HERRING.
McKenzie follows more SCREAMS, and finds Tuvelle hiding behind a huge rock.
Tuvelle pleads for McKenzie’s help and says she’s being stalked by a guy in a mask with a knife. Tuvelle points to a red mark on her arm and a Black Widow Spider that’s nearby. She’s been bitten by the spider and she sprained her ankle.
McKenzie and Tuvelle both try to call 911, but can’t get cell coverage.
Tuvelle encourages McKenzie to try to get to Perilous Peak, which does have cell coverage, rather than trying to make it back to the visitor center, since the lower trails have been washed out and covered with rocks in the rain and rock slides.
Tuvelle says she’ll wait where she’s at for McKenzie to summon help.
Tuvelle, dressed as The Masked Figure, follows McKenzie as she runs into a gold mine to seek shelter from lightning and rain.
Tuvelle, dressed as the Masked Figure, runs past the gold mine, brandishing a knife.
As McKenzie goes further into the mine, the Tuvelle, dressed up as the Masked Ghoul, rushes into the mine after McKenzie, brandishing a knife.
Tuvelle, dressed as Masked Figure, crawls out from the rubble by the old support beam and crawls over it and catches up to McKenzie. Tuvelle jumps in an old mine cart and uses the levers to roll behind her.
Tuvelle, dressed up as a Masked Figure, switches the trail signs, causing McKenzie to get even more lost on the way to Perilous Peak.
Tuvelle, dressed as the Masked Figure, chases McKenzie across a rickety, worn bridge over a stream.
When McKenzie falls through the rickety bridge to the stream below and hits scrapes her leg on a rock.
Tuvelle, dressed as the Masked Figure, circles back and chases McKenzie through a field, where McKenzie seeks shelter in an old underground WWII bunker, and Tuvelle, dressed as the Masked Figure, chases her, but McKenzie hits Tuvelle with an umbrella, stunning her temporarily, enough to get away and escape the bunker.
McKenzie, despite having vertigo, climbs a tree and spots a trail of a small, hidden valley, where there’s an old Fire Lookout Tower.
McKenzie runs towards the valley, and Tuvelle, dressed as the Masked Figure, appears on the edge of the valley, waving the knife.
As McKenzie overcomes her vertigo as she’s climbing the old Fire Lookout Tower, that’s surrounded on all sides by rocks.
Tuvelle, dressed as the Masked Figure, chases her up the tower’s tall outside ladder, but McKenzie kicks her, causing her to fall back and hang perilously from the ladder.
McKenzie keeps running through the old Fire Lookout Tower room, where the ghosts point toward the lost Totem Trail, that glows with green and blue totems, and leads up to the unused backside of Perilous Peak.
As McKenzie hurries down the exit ladder on the other side of the tower, Tuvelle, dressed as the Masked Figure, chases McKenzie as she heads toward the lost Totem Trail.
Mystery 2: Who can be trusted, Tuvelle or Terry or neither of them?
Mystery ChainsMcKenzie hears a man’s YELLS behind her and she looks back to see a man, Terry, chasing Tuvelle, dressed as the Masked Figure, down the exit ladder.
Terry confronts Tuvelle, who is dressed as the Masked Figure, and tells her to give it up, the joke’s over!
Tuvelle, dressed as the Masked Ghoul, rushes at Terry and kicks him in the shins, then waves the knife, and chases after McKenzie, up the Totem Trail, to the edge of Perilous Peak.
McKenzie pulls herself over the edge and onto the peak, and grabs a large tree branch, and hides behind a large rock.
Tuvelle, dressed as the Masked Ghoul, climbs over the edge, and looks around for McKenzie, and Terry climbs over the edge and lunges at Tuvelle, dressed as the Masked Ghoul. They struggle on the ground and McKenzie sees her chance and pulls off the Masked Figure’s mask, it’s Tuvelle!
They have the showdown, and Tuvelle explains why she’s been stalking McKenzie, and Terry explains his role, but that he didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt.
Tuvelle pushes Terry off Perilous Peak!
Tuvelle tries to push McKenzie off Perilous Peak, McKenzie steps aside and Tuvelle rushes past her and accidentally plunges off the peak to her death.
McKenzie hears Terry’s cries for help. He’s hanging onto a ledge below the peak. She helps him back up and he explains his role again, and they head back towards the visitor center.
2. The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
The Masked Figure is threatening Tuvelle, and McKenzie tries to help her. Then, the Masked Figured threatens both ladies and they try to escape the evildoer to get to Perilous Peak, where they can get cell coverage and call for help.However, when Tuvelle is bitten by a black widow spider and becomes ill, McKenzie must fight to survive as she tries to make it to Perilous Peak to call for help for Tuvelle, and she must stay one step ahead of the Masked Figure.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Leona Heraty.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Leona Heraty.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Leona Heraty.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by
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Ola Höglund’s mystery sequence
What I learned is
that maybe my structure is too complicated. My story has two protagonists who are each other’s antagonists, similar to “Heat” where we root for both DeNiro and Pacino. Or similar to a romcom. Who is the main protagonist in “Heat”? Who is the main protagonist in my story?
Since Borowiak is the one most subject to setup he is in my book the main protagonist who in the end kills the villain and saves Rostagno’s life after accidentally killing his wife who he loves. He has most screen time.
But Rostagno is the one acting on the first mystery, both the mystery between the two of them, and the first accident/homocide. Rostagno is also the one realizing who the villain is, telling Borowiak that.
So the question is: Can I break the rules, as long as the audience has a character who immediately tries to solve the first mystery? Can Borowiak and Rostagno be like a team in the end where one of them realizes who the villain is, and the other one kills the villain?
(Not sure about the difference between question 2 and 4 in this assignment.)
1. VILLAINS BIG SECRET
The villain is the killer who sets up Borowiak as revenge.
2. MAIN MYSTERIES
Why is Rostagno avoiding Borowiak in the library?
Who is the “element killer” and why are the victims killed?
Is Borowiak the killer, or who is setting him up and why?
Is Rostagno right about suspecting Borowiak or is Rostagno the killer himself?
Is Borowiak’s wife involved in the murders?
Is the NY serial killer that was caught by Borowiak and Rostagno behind the setup?
Is the dumb librarian the killer?
3. FIRST MYSTERY
BOROWIAK’S FIRST RED HERRING MYSTERY that he does NOT act on:
Why is Rostagno avoiding him in the library?
ROSTAGNO’S FIRST RED HERRING MYSTERY that he acts on OFF screen:
He goes to NY to find out if Borowiak recommended the police to fire him. (We get to know that at plot point 2 making Rostagno a suspect.)
BOROWIAK’S FIRST MYSTERY to act on:
Is someone setting him up? Who? Why?
(That happens gradually from the interrogation scene about the kidnapping of the carpenter. Plot point 1)
ROSTAGNO’s FIRST MYSTERY to act on:
Is the first accident a homicide or not? He wants to prove himself to his boss/ex-wife, hoping it’s a homicide in a town where there have been no homicides for many years.
4-5. SEQUENCE & MYSTERY CHAINS
1. Who is the “element killer” and why are the victims killed?
Business mogul found blown up in his hangar with door locked from the inside.
Researcher in the environmental chemistry industry found dead from gas in garage.
Newspaper publisher found drowned in his pool with things floating around like they did in Borowiak’s “kitchen pool”.
Autopsies confirm murders.
Motives are discussed from a “Greenpeace terrorist” perspective.
2. Is Rostagno right about suspecting Borowiak or is Rostagno the killer? RED HERRING
Rostagno asks Borowiak about the murders during kidnap interrogation. Borowiak answers in a way that attracts his attention.
The drowned publisher was to meet an informer at the bar Borowiak visited that night. Rostagno saw Borowiak at the bar when he was following him.
Rostagno launches his theory about why Borowiak is the killer, knowing about the stolen books and Borowiak’s articles.
Borowiak lurks Rostagno in a pit he can’t get out of (when Rostagno pursues Borowiak) to show Rostagno that he is on to him trying to set him up, but Rostagno perceives that as the evidence that Borowiak is the killer.
Borowiak learns in New York that Rostagno got fired, he finds Rostagnos internal affairs file and realizes that he is the cause of Rostagno losing his career and marriage. To Borowiak that is evidence for Rostagno trying to set him up.
Rostagno tries to explain that this is Borowiaks plan to set him up.
Borowiak phones his wife from New York knowing that FBI listens to their conversation. Borowiak tells everything about Rostagno and about himself being a psychopath according to the brain scans.
FBI goes to NY focusing their attention entirely on Borowiak and Rostagno. FBI finds out about the soilpit accident 25 years ago with Borowiak’s wife as one of the witnesses.
Rostagno wants to talk to Borowiak’s wife about the accident, going to the library.
Borowiak’s wife goes to the library to get her work computer and photo of her dad, scared that someone has or will connect the dots about her killing.
Borowiak kidnaps Rostagno’s boss/ex-wife to make Rostagno confess in her presence.
Borowiak and Rostagno sneaks up on each other in the library. Borowiak’s wife sneaks up and hits Rostagno’s hand. His gun goes off. Borowiak reacts by shooting towards Rostagno in the dark, but the bullit hits his wife.
Borowiak’s wife confesses that she killed her father’s killer in the soilpit. Borowiak shocked that his non-psychopathic wife has killed someone. She dies.
3. Is the NY serial killer that was caught by Borowiak and Rostagno behind the setup?
New York Serial Killer (NYSK) is mentioned in the first scene between Borowiak and Rostagno while we see the librarian in the background.
Rostagno’s boss/ex-wife tells Rostagno’s partner that Rostagno is the one who caught NYSK. The reaction from the policemen says it all. The worst devil. Suddenly they respect Rostagno.
Borowiak tells some basketball players in a bar about NYSK. They don’t want him to talk about that since they are afraid of nightmares.
Rostagno sees the librarian play tennis. Rostagno’s partner asks if Rostagno is afraid of NYSK coming back? We learn that NYSK escaped prison during his mother’s funeral.
Rostagno tells his partner about a mother. His own mother or NYSK’s mother?
FBI watches the interview that Borowiak did with NYSK after he was prisoned. We learn why NYSK didn’t want to kill his hated mother (subtext: why he doesn’t want to kill Borowiak and Rostagno).
Rostagno realizes where he has seen that signature forehand before… NYSK doesn’t know Rostagno saw him play tennis when they chased him in NY.
4. Is the dumb librarian the killer?
The librarian stole the books to make Borowiak and Rostagno bump in to each other.
The librarian helps Borowiak’s wife with her computer.
The suspect that FBI finds tells them about how his job changed when the librarian started working there.
The librarian closes the library for the night knowing that Rostagno has just entered the library with Borowiak and Borowiak’s wife separately on their way there.
Rostagno sees the librarian going into Borowiak’s wife’s office space, placing four sand bottles in her cupboard.
Rostagno goes to the librarian’s office space and sees his rackets, and now he realizes where he has seen that forehand before… The librarian is NYSK with a new face.
In his shock a scared Rostagno backs away, dropping his phone in the dark while texting to bring in the task force. The librarian comes. Rostagno hides with his gun ready. The librarian sees the phone on the floor when the policeman outside in the car texts. He takes it.
The librarian goes out and kill the policeman with Borowiak’s knife.
Rostagno finds the librarian looking dead in the library lift with a knife in his bleeding stomach. Although Rostagno is careful, the librarian overpowers him.
Borowiak lies handcuffed with his dead wife without the key, blaming himself, devastated. He can’t escape from the villain now.
Borowiak carries his dead wife between the book shelves to surprise the villain when the lift comes down to the floor, shoots the villain, saving Rostagno’s life.
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Very interesting twists and turns you have here. I LIKE IT!
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James, would you like to exchange feedback?
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NEW Assignment 6
Melanie’s Mystery Sequence
I learned that you have to be flexible if something isn’t working with the plot. This week I made a complete 180, went back to the beginning and changed the entire plot and the villain. Nothing like an extreme make-over half way through the class!
New Villain: Hugo Gage: Vivienne’s therapist and husband to a wife who had called 911 and suffered death at what he thinks is Vivienne’s negligence.
What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
– Did Vivienne cause the woman’s death at the beginning of the story?
How many ways can they cover that secret? 4 mysteries – for starters.
Make a list of your main mysteries/create mystery chain:
1. Who killed Natalie’s friend’s mom? Vivienne took 911 call but it was too late. She knew the mom through school – she was the mom of her daughter’s friend. Her ex-husband encourages her to go to therapy and possibly take meds to help with PTSD. Investigator interviews therapist (Hugo) and he points them down a rabbit hole.
2. Is Vivienne OD’ing on prescription drugs? Her therapist keeps increasing dosage. She’s caught taking drugs at work and making questionable judgement calls. Her daughter starts to notice changes in her behavior and asks to stay with her father instead. Vivienne is angry, jealous of her daughter picking sides.
3. Is there a killer on the lose? Is it Vivienne? Another 911 call, another one of Vivienne’s friends ends up dead. She starts to unravel in therapy. Investigators start to question her connection to the string of deaths. She tells them of her ex-husband’s infidelity and how he knew each of the victims too.
4. Is her ex-husband the killer? (Red Herring) A 911 call comes in from her daughter from her ex-husband’s house. She leaves work to rescue her. However, now she’s in imminent danger and there’s no one left at the call center.
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Kathryn’s Mystery Sequence
I learned how to build A TON of escalating mystery around one main secret. This was mind blowing for me.
The big secret: Dr. S killed the Pres and made him an AI.
Sequence 1: Why are people’s voting patterns changing?
-people are getting sick right and left, linked to an uncontrolled viral infection
-the “good Dr.” demands investigation into why
-the good Dr. dies, of his own mutation of the virus
-no one else is dying…yet
-Main “human party” candidate becomes the front runner
-everyone who was treated is banned from voting…possibly anyone to come into contact with them
-front runner dies…of the virus
Sequences 2/3: Dr. and the Clinic/What is Emily hiding: Red Herring Sequences
-rehab clinic is very secretive
-Emily is the only person who’s worked there before, and after
-clinic has been funded by the opposing party
-Emily shuts down cancer research to make the whole clinic rehab
-Pres uses rehab clinic alongside prosthetic uses with AI limbs
-(Original Emily was a physical therapist)
-Emily can’t remember details prior to cancer
-The virus Emily died of is the mother of the ones killing everyone
-(the Dr. links Emily, then dies)
-there is a crematorium in the lab
-Emily is shot and there is no blood
Sequence 4: The President is AI
-President is hit by a drunk driver the night of announcing his candidacy
-the President has terrible headaches
-the funeral for the drunk driver has no attendees, but Dr. S
-the person in the car crash was reported dead two months earlier
-the rehab building is half blocked off for “construction”
-the drunk driver was Emily’s first patient, after her death
-mid-acceptance speech Pres collapses
-Dr. S comes to treat Pres himself and Emily refuses
-Emily infects the Dr and changes his “profile” with someone else
-the Dr “kills himself”
-Emily tells the Pres his brain is in the body of a robot, but it’s dying, he has a choice, does he become full AI or die?
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Jeff Guenther’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned is: (1) Basic Instinct is over-cooked. (2) In a thriller, the First mystery presented isn’t necessarily the last one to be solved. The plot can be kicked off with a transient McGuffin, as long as it grabs the MC enough that he/she can’t let go. (3) Avoid too much complexity. (4) Some mysteries can be obscured by another layer of cause-and-effect mystery. (5) The mystery sequences may overlap; the entire plot grid is flexible.
1. What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up? He intends to take over the hospital by running it into bankruptcy and then use it for illicit organ harvesting.
2. How many ways can he cover that secret with mysteries?
a. Replace staff who might figure out what’s happening.
b. Kill anyone who might give him away.
c. Secretly spend sinking funds on unnecessary renovations and equipment.
d. Change the ratio of indigents to paying patients.
First Mystery Sequence: To scare staff away, Villain secretly causes his daughter, whom he knows is “possessed,” to be admitted for a tonsillectomy. Supernatural phenomena occur in the hospital, reviving an old rumor, as related by the enigmatic janitor, who has worked there for a long time, that the hospital is haunted. MC wants to protect the girl, and gets involved. Patients start to go elsewhere. The phenomena are traced to the girl’s room, and it’s revealed she is the poltergeist. Nurses quit. An exorcist is brought in, and this is leaked to the newspapers.
Second Mystery Sequence: To prevent the girl’s mother from revealing to MC that she’s only known him briefly, Villain causes her to die. She’s eventually shown to have died from excessive alcohol consumption. Still, MC wonders where the mother got the bottle of Old Nogginthrob. The enigmatic janitor is asphyxiated in a closed room, and, because of the storm, is placed in a new cold storage unit until the police can arrive again.
Third Mystery Sequence: Sister Polygrippa disappears during a storm. The hospital is searched. MC finds evidence that she was looking at old employee records and recent expenditures. Among other things, a lot of cash has been diverted by the absent management company to pay for for unnecessary renovations and equipment. Sister Polygrippa is found dead in the cold storage room, a patient ratio report in her apron. The janitor’s body is missing. Or is he alive . . . ?
Fourth Mystery Sequence: As Polygrippa discovered, the paying patient to indigent patient ratio has plummeted. Everyone assumes it’s from the rumor the hospital is haunted. MC retraces Polygrippa’s steps and finds that EMTs are being bribed to bring as many indigents as possible to the hospital, and legally can’t turn them away (this is often true). They’re only dollars from bankruptcy. MC takes Villain’s fingerprints and runs them past the FBI.
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John how : I learned the importance of creating a Red Herring character to the story.
Hidee Fromme is the Villain of the story. Her motive for murder is her daughter Clarise is concealed from the audience. As previously stated Howard Golden is the father of the baby and demanded she have an abortion. Hidee went into seclusion to have the child There is bitterness and disdain that her autistic baby was given away for adoption. During the story Hidee visits her daughter and presents her with gifts including one of Hidee’s painting
Howard Golden the father is the source of Hidee’s hate and becomes a Red Herring. After two years of absence Hidee re-establishes a relationship with Howard. Hideee reacquaints herself with the New York art scene including several of the gallery’s clients.
As a former Art Professor at NYU Golden establishes a prominent art galley in the city featuring works of his most talented students. He signs an agreement with these artists, giving him a shared ownership of the paintings in exchange for exhibition in his galley.
One of his students Mark Willis is found hanged in his New York apartment. Beside his body is a s note cursing Golden for his stern criticize of his art.
Mark Willis is the son an established attorney Karl Willis. The suspicious father pressures the police to learn if his son’s death was a murder or suicide. Detective Vince Vango is assigned to the case. He is angered when he learns that a suspect in Mark’s death is his estranged father, Howard Golden. In spite of his apparent bias he conceals the conflict from his superiors.
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