Day 7 Assignments

[Amy Falkofske]

Amy’s Directional FOS patterns

What I learned doing this assignment is that if you set up the scene for subtext (I set it up as competing agendas), then figures of speech emerge naturally.

Note: Earlier, Andrea questioned the uncooperative professor about how exactly the supercollider caused her to travel through time. She did not suspect that Meagan had anything to do with it at that time. Now she has reason to be suspicious of Meagan.

INT. OFFICE – DAY

Dr. Smitty sits at his desk filling papers with red ink.

A KNOCK IS HEARD at the door.

He looks up. It’s Andrea.

DR. SMITTY

Mrs. Richards. Back again? I thought we settled this matter.

ANDREA

I want to talk to you about your assistant, Meagan.

Andrea sits in the chair across from his desk.

Dr. Smitty shifts nervously in his seat and then goes back to marking papers.

DR. SMITTY

I can’t imagine what about. An expose’ maybe? Well, there’s no story there.

ANDREA

So why then do you feel the need to reassure me of that fact?

Dr. Smitty looks up at Andrea but doesn’t say anything.

He looks back down.

DR. SMITTY

Tell me, what’s your big story tonight?

ANDREA

Not sure yet. It might be about a certain professor and his devious teacher’s assistant conspiring to send a certain news anchor spiraling through God-only-knows what time period.

Dr. Smitty looks up at Andrea again. This time he looks her straight in the eyes.

DR. SMITTY

There was no conspiracy!

ANDREA

But you told her time travel was possible with the supercollider.

Again, Dr. Smitty stares at Andrea, this time he says nothing.

ANDREA

Your silence speaks volumes, Dr. Smitty.

Andrea gets up and walks out.

Once she’s gone, Dr. Smitty angrily slams his hand on the desk.

[Armand Petrikowski]

Armand Directional FOS patterns.

What I learned…

SUBTEXT POINTERS

Here’s a list of six figures-of-speech that work well for subtext:

Metaphor

Implication

Insinuation

Hint

Sarcasm

Allusion

Metaphor- The application of a word or phrase to an object or concept which it does not literally denote.

Implication – Something indicated or suggested as naturally to be inferred.

Insinuation – An indirect or covert suggestion or hint.

Hint – A clue, a slight covert suggestion.

Sarcasm – A sneering or cutting remark toward an object of ridicule.

Allusion – To reference casually or indirectly.

Each of these figures-of-speech point your mind toward something underneath the surface. They’re aren’t just cover-ups. They engage the mind and cause us to wonder, jump to conclusions, and rethink our assumptions about the characters and story.

INT. MANOR – NIGHT

Tyler is trying to hide he is a coward. Lex digs deeper re: the massacre from 20 years ago. Something’s off.

Lex attempts unlocking a door.

LEX

This is the room where it happened…

TYLER

How could I forget?

Lex opens the door. Enters.

INT. FATHER’S STUDIO – NEXT

Hunting trophies collect dust on the walls. Lex finds a dissected snake in petrified attack mode. Tyler steps in, carefully.

LEX

I can’t say I agree with your father’s hobby. But I do hate snakes.

TYLER

Nobody is perfect.

LEX

Slippery snakes are hard to catch. But you can take them down if you cut their heads.

Lex’s onto something.

TYLER

We should get out of here.

LEX

I’m sorry, bad memories of your murders?

TYLER

Bad memories of my father. He was always pressuring us to kill, kill, kill.

LEX

Ironic.

TYLER

What are you getting at?

LEX

Your disapproving father loved killing things.

TYLER

He wouldn’t do that to me. He loved me. I think.

LEX

Do you know what happened to this place after the massacre?

Tyler shakes his head.

LEX

He sealed it from the public. Never sold it.

TYLER

You think my father was the killer?

LEX

Maybe you’re not the only ghost around here anymore.

Tyler takes this in.

[Rob Bertrand]

Rob Bertrand’s Directional FOS Pattern

What I learned: I learned the 6 Figure of Speech patterns for subtext and how to weave them into a scene.

Background: Jocelyn is in the hospital with two broken arms, after being “pushed” down the stairs at Annie’s house. After walking in on Annie and Jocelyn kissing, George Wilcox has asked to speak with Annie in private.

INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY – DAY

Annie follows George into the hallway. The door clicks behind them.

ANNIE
Mr. Wilcox, I’m sorry that we had to meet like–

George spins and cuts Annie off with a finger in her face.

GEORGE
–General Wilcox! General!

Annie gulps.

ANNIE
Sorry…General…Wilcox. I truly am sorry.

George leans in. Lowers his voice.

GEORGE
Sorry? Yes. I’m sure you are. Tell me, Annie, is it?

ANNIE
Yes, sir.

GEORGE
Do you consider yourself smart, Annie?

ANNIE
Uh…smart, sir?

GEORGE
Intelligence, Annie? Do you have it?

Suddenly Annie feels small, intimidated by the medals on his chest.

ANNIE
I…like to think, so sir.

GEORGE
Good, then you should have no trouble understanding what I’m about to tell you…

ANNIE
Sir?

George’s face becomes hard and mean.

GEORGE
I see right through you. The way you look at her? Makes me sick…

ANNIE
Sir…I don’t–

GEORGE
I don’t need you filling my daughters head with anymore of your depraved homosexual ideas. You got me?

ANNIE
Sir, I don’t think you know your daughter as well as you think–

–In a flash of movement, George pins Annie against the wall. A hand firmly gripping her arm.

ANNIE
You’re hurting me!

GEORGE
I’ll do a lot worse if you come around my daughter again. You little gutter trash whore! I forbid you from seeing Jocelyn, again…

Annie rips her arm free, backing away. Fighting back tears she refuses to give him.

ANNIE
You don’t have a fucking clue, do you?

GEORGE
You people make me sick. Screaming for your God damn rights! Homosexuals are not special, honey. You’re just mentally ill. I suggest you own up to God and get some mental help.

ANNIE
(screams)
Fuck you!

GEORGE
I see I was wrong. No intelligence at all. If you’ll excuse me…

George slams the door open. As it slowly swings shut, we hear.

GEORGE (O.S.)
Jocelyn. Explain yourself.

JOCELYN
Daddy, I’m really sorry…

The door clicks shut.

CUT TO:

[John Budinscak]

Budinscak Directional FOS Patterns

Day 7

What I learned doing this assignment:

o The subtext examples from “Basic Instinct” are a tremendous help. I appreciate Joe Eszterhas’ script so much more.

o These are skill sets that will elevate everyone’s writing by excelling in what’s underneath the surface – its deeper meaning.

Note: The scene below is from the “Writing with Boldness” module and the Anticipatory Dialog lesson, Day 2. Very little of the scene has been changed.

Setup:

It’s the beginning of the story and Jack has witnessed the moving body bag being removed from the hearse. Don Vito grills Jack about what he saw.

INT. FUNERAL HOME OFFICE – NIGHT

Seated in a plush chair, Don Vito leans forward and places his elbows on the desk, his hands together, but not for prayer. On the opposite side of the desk, Jack leans back in his shitty metal folding chair. He’s ready for battle.

DON VITO

Jack, do you know why they call me the Weatherman?

****Allusion – to a show of force Don Vito can bring.

JACK

With two brothers as morticians, your family wanted a meteorologist?

DON VITO

Jack, you’re a funny man. No, make that clever. Clever is better. They call me the Weatherman cuz I have an uncanny knack for calling when and where lightning will strike.

**** Hint – Don’t screw with me.

JACK

When and where is the lightning strike coming?

**** Metaphor – Jack knows the metaphor is blunt threat that Don Vito will burn the restaurant to the ground.

DON VITO

Hard to tell right now. It’s kinda cloudy.

**** Insinuation – It all depends on how you answer my question.

JACK

How may I help?

DON VITO

I need you to do a personal favor for me. Will you?

JACK

Always, Don Vito.

DON VITO

Bless you, Jack. All I need is for you to make a delivery for me. That’s it.

JACK

And?

**** Implication – what will happen if I don’t?

Don Vito motions towards Carmine’s, the restaurant across the parking lot.

DON VITO

You’ve got until Monday at 2:00. At 2:01, I guarantee lightning will strike Carmine’s and burn it to the fucking ground.

Jack sits in silence. Now it’s the Don’s turn to lean back and relax.

DON VITO

Jack, it’s what you don’t say that speaks the loudest.

**** Allusion – Jack has nowhere to go.

JACK

Why me?

DON VITO

Cuz we’re business partners. We’re attached, like the letters M and N. You know what I mean?

The wheels are turning in Jack’s head as he shakes it no.

DON VITO

You can add N to one word and get the exact opposite meaning than with a M. Watch. Skim means to get fat while skin means to take away. Let’s use it in a sentence. If you continue to skim from me, I will skin you alive.

**** Metaphor – you’re taking from me and I know it.

JACK

Don Vito, I’ve always answered the call for you. Whenever, wherever for whatever, I’ve been there. Have been, will be. Always.

**** Implication – whatever you’re going to accuse me of, I’m claiming innocence.

DON VITO

Jack, I know you’re taking a little extra for yourself.

JACK

I’m sorry, Don Vito, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

DON VITO

Are you saying the elves who make shoes snuck in and stole it?

**** Allusion – are you really going to lie to me?

JACK

I know I didn’t do it. I can’t vouch for the elves.

**** Sarcasm – I just told you, whatever you accuse me of, I’m claiming innocence.

Don Vito leans forward, Jack leans forward.

DON VITO

We’re fast approaching the point of no return. Once we’re there, I am no longer your friend, I become the guy you must avoid. Capisce?

**** Hint – I will hurt you AND burn your restaurant to the ground.

JACK

I understand. With my integrity in question, I will prove myself to you once again. I accept and will handle your favor.

DON VITO

Always good to come to an understanding with you. I’ll see you ….

JACK

(cutting in) … tomorrow morning. Good night.

**** Insinuation – I know you got me this time, but …

Jack rises from his chair.

DON VITO

Tick tock, Jack, tick tock. The clock’s started.

**** Implication – you now work for me.

As soon as the door shuts after Jack leaves, Don Vito picks up the phone and punches in a number.

DON VITO

We have one more guest for the party. That makes four. (laughs) Well, three and a half anyway.

**** Allusion – Jack’s fate is tied to three others, well, two and a half.

Don Vito chuckles at his own macabre wit as he leans back in his chair.

[Jodi Harrison]

Jodi’s Directional FOS patterns – Day 7

This exercise helped with precision of meaning. It definitely made the scene more interesting when I worked on the six figures of speech after figuring out the designs of the scene. I also tried to write the scene in a more interesting place. Originally (in my outline), Veronica calls Carlos from her home with the news. This new location added more texture to the scene and was by far a more interesting choice.

I designed the scene for subtext with:

C. Something is off
D. No one wants to tell the person

INT. SERVICE KING, CUSTOMER SERVICE COUNTER – DAY

Veronica walks into the Service King and approaches the front desk. SHEILA, who could be a beauty queen is manning the desk.

SHEILA: Hi, can I help you?

VERONICA: Yes please, is Carlos Rios around?

SHEILA: Sure, can I tell him what it’s about?

VERONICA: I’d just like to speak to him for a few minutes please.

Sheila has a look of concern on her face, but smiles.

SHEILA: Sure.

Sheila calls an extension.

SHEILA (cont.): Carlos, someone up here wants to see you.

Sheila hangs up the phone.

SHEILA: (cont.): He’ll be right up.

VERONICA: Thank you.

Veronica finds a chair to sit in. Sheila pretends she’s not exerting her peripheral vision towards Veronica . Veronica watches the TV on the wall while waiting for Carlos to show up.

Carlos approaches the glass door and stops abruptly. He mouths ‘oh shit’. Sheila sees him and cuts him down with her eyes. He takes a breath and walks into the lobby. Veronica stands to greet him. Sheila watches them like a hawk.

VERONICA: Hi Carlos, do you have a minute to talk?

CARLOS: (stammers) Yeah, a minute. Let’s go out here.

Carlos leads her into the car bay area, his back is to Sheila. Veronica observes Sheila watching them.

VERONICA: I’ve been trying to get a hold of you, I haven’t heard from you, you get my calls?

CARLOS: No, don’t think so.

VERONICA: I thought it’d be nice if we go out Saturday night, I have some things to talk to you about and I miss you.

Veronica tries to hug Carlos. He gently frees himself and nonchalantly glances back towards Sheila.

CARLOS: Uh, Saturday’s not good.

VERONICA: Sunday?

Carlos is clearly being evasive. Veronica is feeling shut down.

CARLOS: I’ve been busy, and will be for a while.

VERONICA: Me too…been busy. Would you like to see how busy I was?

Veronica takes four white sticks out of her purse. She puts them right up to his face.

VERONICA (cont.): Do you want to know what this means?

CARLOS: No, but I have a feeling you’re gonna to tell me.

VERONICA: The plus signs mean ‘a bun in the oven’. All four of em’ Carlos. Pluses!

Metaphor and an implication: She’s saying that she’s tested positive on four pregnancy tests.

No response from Carlos. He folds his arms and looks towards the ground.

Sheila walks out and passes by them slowly, she is a few feet behind Veronica now. She clearly is listening. Carlos glances at her.

VERONICA: I don’t want to go this alone.

CARLOS: (sheepishly) Well, I don’t know what you want from me?

VERONICA: You said you were sterile.

Sheila hears this and gasps, she shoots a look past Veronica onto Carlos. Carlos takes Veronica’s arm to guide them farther away from Sheila’s ears.

CARLOS: You’re a big girl, we both had a good time. Right?

Insinuation: You know the game, why would you trust someone’s word when it comes to sex.

VERONICA: It’s not a good time now, and I ask that you take equal responsibility for whatever happens. I need–

CARLOS: No, no, no, no, I don’t–

VERONICA: You’re man enough to have sex, you should be man enough to —

Implication and Sarcasm: She’s saying to not be a whimpy scared little boy and face your responsibilities.

CARLOS: Look, I didn’t force you to have sex, you wanted it too.

VERONICA: I asked you to put a condom on and you insisted you were sterile, have you no conscious? You need to help me pay for a doctor visit and whatever else transpires.

CARLOS: Or what? What’ll you do?

VERONICA: Carlos, it takes two, two to make it, and two to deal with it.

CARLOS: I’ve gotta get back to work now.

VERONICA: I’m gonna need help dealing with this. I’ll get it from you one way or another.

Hint: An attorney, strong-arming, anything it will take for him to pay his fair share she’ll do.

Carlos starts to walk off, then turns back to her as an after thought.

CARLOS: You should be more careful. Men love gullible girls like you.

Sarcasm and Allusion: Carlos states the possibility that Veronica will continue to fall for bullshit lines he and other guys give her.

VERONICA: You know, if you men could get pregnant, abortion would be the law of the land, but you can’t, so it’s not, (shouts) so your penis owes me half of what this is gonna cost me!

Allusion: Alluding that she’s going to have an abortion.

Carlos starts walking back into the reception area, Veronica turns to Sheila.

VERONICA: Prince Charming is all yours!

Metaphor and sarcasm: The guy’s not Mr. Right, he’s a real creep, good
luck to you, you’ll need it.

[Julia Keefer]

I know a guy in this soup line who would do this but I made him talk more like I would talk with figures of speech, innuendo, sarcasm etc.

INT. ALL SOULS CHURCH -Xmas Eve 2021

Jake holds his six week old newborn Jesse against his chest. He recognizes Julie sitting there, bent in two on the back pew. But then he smells her and sees a drip of urine coming out of her pants. Her skin is blotched, dry, and pale but her faded blue eyes open wider. He hugs her, COVID be damned.
The choir is singing O Little Town of Bethlehem.
JAKE
Meet Jesse, your great grandson.

Her face lifts into a smile as she touches his candy cane outfit garnished in green. His black eyes meet her blue ones.
JULIE
Litonya’s son?

JAKE
I hope I am as smart as you at 92.”

A masked attendant brings Communion down each aisle. Julie partakes, but Jake abstains and sings louder.

Jesse squeezes his little fist around one of Julie’s swollen fingers. Hark the Herald Angels Sing!

As the service ends, the priest addresses the community more informally. Ibrahim, dressed in a business suit with a red tie, approaches the speaker. He speaks perfectly as if he has been coached,

IBRAHIM
New Yorkers are the toughest, loudest, proudest, and fully vaccinated. Our goal is to make them the healthiest. Our grant will set up a culinary school in the basement of this beloved church for homeless and poor neighborhood seniors holed up in rent stabilized apartments. Free range chicken, wild fish, fresh fruits and veggies, quinoa, barley, and whole grains instead of white rice and pasta. No dessert. Comfort foods create diabetes and heart problems. These unfortunate folks were never criminals nor drug addicts, they are not anti-social, many went to college, and most have worked, but bad luck, high living costs, and not enough social security is making them starve. For too long churches have been associated with alcohol and sweets. We won’t exacerbate their diabetes with these drugs. Homeless are not smelly criminals and drug addicts. You could be homeless after a lifetime of hard work with no vices and no law-breaking. A fire, a disease, a breakdown, a pandemic, a flood–anything can derail our upward trajectories. Going forward, we call them the “housing challenged.” Starting tomorrow, you will see the healthiest daily soup kitchen in the country, a wardrobe room with ecologically correct clothes, and hygiene kits with fluoride rinse, gum stimulators, tongue cleaners, quality toothbrushes, and paste. Agreed that some people do not like healthy food, so we have a hospice kit of leftover pastries from local merchants, more delicious than drugs. STEMGARCHS stands for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Medicine but we have a heart of gold and will share our wealth with those less fortunate.

APPLAUSE. He leaves so the priest can finish the service. They sing Silent Night as they walk down the aisle.
But Julie’s head has collapsed to her lap. Jake takes a pulse. Nothing. Before he plunges into CPR, a team arrives from nearby Lenox Hill Hospital, and they confirm complete death. She has gone to heaven. Jakes leaves with them to the morgue to make funeral arrangements.

INT. STARBUCKS – EVENING
BB and Ibrahim enter Starbucks smiling snidely.
BB
Is Starbucks healthy?
IBRAHIM
I am drinking passion flower tea, no pastries.
BB
I need some passion for my flower but will settle for an espresso to make my bright brain crackle. What a heartfelt speech! Heart of gold is the perfect metaphor. STEMGARCHS is more philanthropic than the Red Cross.

IBRAHIM
Or the Red Crescent. I gave the same speech at the 96^th St. Mosque this morning. Blood, crucifixion, and the moon are part of STEMGARCHS as well.

BB
And part of my modus operandi. Hospice kits are a considerate touch. Original. And speaking of endings, I couldn’t have choreographed a better demise for Julie.
IBRAHIM
She went straight to heaven, Alhamdulillah.
BB
And you are his Faithful Servant. Lovely space, that church, but heaven is more immense. We need more souls in that sacred space. More room up there than in this squished down town. We are doing our part for those less fortunate.
They sip their drinks, humming to Starbuck’s Xmas carols.

BB
I am housing challenged but boat bountiful.
IBRAHIM
And STEMGARCHS has the best bounty of all.
BB
Yeah, gimme more, and I’ll have more energy for our earth philanthropy.
IBRAHIM
Declutter the cities and nature will flourish.
BB
You sound like Litonya.
IBRAHIM
We have more in common than you think.

BB: Remember: I don’t think. I obey. And–I kept this for a souvenir.

BB reveals the shiny gold of an antique relic he carefully shoplifted if you could call a church a shop.

And with that they part ways for the holiday weekend.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Directional FOS Patterns

What I learned doing this assignment is that I really should have remembered more from high school English(I really do occasionally have nightmares) I’m not sure if this was an ideal scene, but I’m just trying to progress.

INT. BREWSTER HOUSE LIVING ROOM- NIGHT

Jim and Marin sit on the couch looking a bit worn out. This is not as easy or as fun as they thought. Marin is going over her notes on a clipboard when the doorbell RINGS.

MARIN

This should be our last one.

Jim covers a yawn as he heads to get the door.

MARIN

His name is… Osgood?

Raising her eyebrows? Jim looks back acknowledging the oddness, then opens the door. Osgood awaits politely.

JIM

You must be Osgood? I’m Jim.

Jim extends his hand. Osgood hesitates, then reciprocates.

OSGOOD

You can call me Ozy.

JIM

My God, your hand is freezing! Please, come in, lets get you warmed up.

OSGOOD

I’m fine, I run a little cold is all.

Jim ushers him into the living room. Osgood takes in the novelty of a warm, welcoming home.

JIM

This is Marin, my wife. Marin this is Ozy.

Marin stands, greeting him. She is charmed.

OSGOOD

It’s a pleasure.

JIM

Have a seat. I’m going to get this fire going and warm you up.

OSGOOD

I’m fine, really, no need.

JIM

It’s no trouble. There is nothing like a warm fire on a cold night.

Marin shuffles through her notes, as Jim gets the fire started. Ozy looks around the room.

OSGOOD

The architecture is just superb. Is this place really on the historic registry?

JIM

Yes, Sir. Captain Brewster, had this built for his love in 1833. It has stayed in the Brewster family almost 200 years. The upkeep costs are staggering, but I cannot bear to let it go.

OSGOOD

I must confess, it was what drew me to this place. I have a soft spot for history.

JIM

OUCH!

Jim holds his hand up, there is a large sliver of wood stuck in his finger. The tiniest drop of blood is forming at the entrance would. Marin jumps up for a closer look.

Ozy sees the blood, a worried look quickly turns to confusion as he discreetly sniffs the air. Nothing.

MARIN

Yikes…let me grab you some tweezers.

Marin runs off, Ozy sits perplexed.

JIM

How does something so tiny hurt so much? Huh?

OSGOOD

Do you mind if I take a look at it?

Before Jim can answer, Ozy crosses the room, kneeling down for a closer look and smell. Still nothing. Odd.

Marin returns with tweezers, antiseptic and Band-aid. Osgood backs off, Marin assumes nurse role.

JIM

So Ozy, do you have family in town?

OSGOOD

I’m afraid I don’t, I was orphaned at around 2 years old. I never knew my family.

Marin finishes placing the Band-aid as Osgood’s misfortune tumbles out. Both shocked.

OSGOOD

It just is. I never knew any different. You can’t miss what you never had.

A moment to sink in…

JIM

Are you going to school? Working?

Osgood was not expecting this line of questioning. He has never been interviewed, it is quite exhilarating. He improvises quickly.

OSGOOD

I’m a medical student on night rounds this entire year, so I sleep all day and work or study all night. Would you find that too disruptive to your schedule?

MARIN

Your area of practice?

OSGOOD

Hematology.

MARIN

Isn’t that a coincidence?

Jim has no clue where she is going. She has the look all wives give their husbands when they are being stupid.

MARIN

You’re blood?…

JIM

Oh…that.

MARIN

Jim has an extremely rare blood type. He is the focus of quite a bit of research. I’ve often said Hematology would be a great cover if you were a vampire. They suck him dry every opportunity they get.

JIM

Marin, we’re here to find out more about Ozy. He doesn’t need to be bored with my medical history.

[Janeen Johnson]

Janeen’s Directional FOS patterns

What I learned doing this assignment is that these are handy ways to avoid on the nose dialogue and action.

SCENE

INT. FIBER GUILD MEETING – EVENING

The gals sit in a circle working on their projects. CINDA addresses BRIDGET.

CINDA

Have you heard anything more from that designer’s wife?

BRIDGET

No, have you, Morgan?

Morgan drops the stitch she was knitting, flustered.

MORGAN

No, of course not. I would never violate the order like that.

RHONDA stops her work as Morgan scrambles to pick up the dropped stitch.

RHONDA

I have a bad feeling about that gal.

Everyone glances up at her, urging her to continue.

RHONDA

She had a lot of bruises and we did a chest x-ray too. You were right to call the police, Morgan.

Morgan is flustered again.

MORGAN

She asked me to call them, I didn’t decide to do it.

EMILY and Rhonda exchange a look.

EMILY

We weren’t suggesting anything. I see abused women all the time and it’s heartbreaking.

Morgan studiously concentrates on her work.

RHONDA

So do I. They’ve been threatened or had their kids, or just as bad, their pets threatened — or hurt. We’ve had a number of them come in with all the physical damage of a rape, but their husbands did it to them.

They shudder. Morgan looks around as though needing to escape.

CINDA

They almost never press charges. Too afraid of what will happen when the guy makes bail.

BRIDGET

By the time they get to me, they’ve been isolated, their careers cut short, abused so much they have no self-confidence, no resources, and they blame themselves for the violence. It’s so sad.

MORGAN

Blame themselves?

BRIDGET

Yeah. The man’s got them so brainwashed they think if dinner isn’t on the table when he gets home or they don’t look pretty enough or he can see a bruise under a pile of makeup that they did something wrong and he’s justified if he beats them for it.

MORGAN

I could never stay with a man who hit me. Never.

EMILY

You’d be surprised how many of my clients have stayed until it gets so bad they’re sure they’ll be killed next time.

RHONDA

And they’re right sometimes. How a man could do that to a woman, I’ll never know.

There is a brief lull. They all go back to work.

MORGAN

I wish there was more I could do for Daniel’s wife — to help her get away.

RHONDA

Since you can’t talk to her or visit her, maybe you could try some of that new age mumbo jumbo. It might make you feel better.

MORGAN

Mumbo jumbo?

RHONDA

Yeah, we talked about it one time. What’s it called, Bridget?

BRIDGET

Intentional medicine. It’s like faith healing, but anyone can do it.

MORGAN

Faith healing? How does it work?

Rhonda and Bridget shrug their shoulders. Rhonda brightens.

RHONDA

I’m not sure it does, but if it did, maybe it could put the hospital out of business. I’ve had enough overtime lately to last a lifetime.

They all chuckle.

Morgan searches for intentional medicine on her phone. There is a reference to it on the Waterman Technique website. Her eyes widen, she sighs and slips her phone away again, a smile playing around her lips.

[Emmanuel Sullivan]

Emmanuel’s Directional FOS Patterns

What I learned doing this assignment is using figures of speech in subtext is a nice way to sprinkle intrigue into a script. If done right, the reader and audience will pick up on the subtle patterns.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Figures-of-Speech

What I learned: with practice (and constantly referencing the Figures) I’m starting to see how this works…

INT. ED’S APARTMENT – EVENING

Ed, supine in bed. Hands crossed on his chest. Ignores growing knocks. But tonight, not as long. Before he—

Jabs on his glasses. Trudges to the door.

ED

(Speaks through it)

Hello Grace.

GRACE

How’d you know it was me?

ED

Because your pounding doesn’t break windows like Pat’s.

Ed leans an elbow on the door. His forehead on the elbow’s hand—what to do? Before Grace knocks again, hard as Pat.

Ed leaps back. Jarred.

GRACE

You still with me? Ed?

Glasses askew, Ed shakes his head.

ED

Actually, I’m not sure.

(With everything he’s got)

What do you want?

GRACE

I want you to meet my dad.

(And)

At this point in his life, he really needs his mom. Or something of his mom. You’re what we’ve got.

ED

I’m not your dad’s mom, Grace.

GRACE

But you loved her.

Sigh. Can’t argue with that.

GRACE

You know things. Her favorite color, food. Animal. Her quirks and dreams. The things she’d say I should do to make a good, long marriage…

Ed coughs. His head between his hands, now. A vice—

ED

Actually there’s a lot I—

GRACE

(Interrupts)

Think of the stories! All those years….

(And)

You can tell me one right now! What was Susan like when she was my age?

ED

(Strange high pitch)

Grace, I was trying to sleep. Can we please do this later?

GRACE

It’s 6:45!

(And)

Come on, Ed, I’m here. I just want to talk for a tiny little bit. Open up the door up. Pleeeeez?

Ed’s silent—at a complete loss. How to do this without the therapy frame? Even more—what she’s asking of him!

But Grace isn’t lost. Since it’s worked magic before—

GRACE

And speaking of marriage, Michael and I this awful fight; the kids are upset—and I really need…

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – HALL – SHORT TIME LATER

Ed with his workout bag, walks briskly down the hall as—

Grace dance-leaps to keep up, and—

GRACE

So, when you say you have to understand and ADMIT the true motivation behind what you’re saying to the other person…

Eligible Women from before emerge from an apartment and—

Follow Grace and Ed, into—

INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – EXERCISE ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Where Ed blows off more steam than we’ve ever seen as—

The ELIGIBLE WOMEN ogle and Grace, beside Ed, runs down various relationship scenarios.

GRACE

So, if one person feels an aversive feeling—like fear—but isn’t used to talking about his fear, and…