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Day 7 Assignments
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Although I have done loglines and phone or elevator pitches before, I was usually winging it like comedy improvisation, listening and looking as much as talking, to figure out what to say next. However, it is best to be prepared. The logline in a screenplay seems more generic than a novel because producers must see a formula that they can fill in their way based on what they have done, while a novel must be unique from the beginning unless it is a pure thriller or mystery or romance, genre that I cannot write. I tried diligently and it didn’t work so I went back to my dramedy with horror and fantasy elements so that I can market my trilogy properly.
Following Hal’s formula:
1. Write a logline for your screenplay for each of the 3 formulas:
a. Protagonist __Jake has PD and must get the BBBB to stop dementia problem in order to continue his fitness career and be with his loved ones.___ and ___must achieve goal__ to solve that problem.
b. Jake needs the BBBB but Betty and Ibrahim won’t give it to him so he must fight and blackmail them.
c. (Situation) causes (main character) to face (largest obstacle) and (outcome).
Tandem competitive thread: BB hides her crimes and pain with a sex change to Betty but is forced to confront her past when exposed by Jake and his kids despite the power and money of her boss.
2. Write a one-sentence phone pitch for your screenplay. First tell us the biggest hook and then incorporate it into your one-sentence pitch.
Rich and poor New Yorkers have more in common than we think: Fresh Direct shopping bags, climate catastrophes, COVID, and the same human brains subject to neurodegenerative diseases and sociopathic behavior. This is a tandem competitive story between a charming, rhyming ADHD fitness instructor challenged by Parkinson’s and other catastrophes and personified rocks that talk and are linked to a serial killer/rapist/murderer who becomes a woman in old age and her boss, the CEO of STEMGARCHS who lives in a Manhattan high rise and a Tudor mansion in upstate New York, sailing up and down the Hudson River doing illegal research. (I realize my sentences are longer than Hal likes but I can talk fast, rhyme, tell jokes etc.)
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Amy’s Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is the way I market my screenplay could mean the difference between getting my foot in the door or not.
. Write a logline for your screenplay for each of the 3 formulas:
a. Protagonist __has problem___ and ___must achieve goal__ to solve that problem.
A local news anchor travels through time and ends up a year into the future where she has lost her family to her children’s nanny and must figure out how to get back to the present.
b. Protagonist has __a goal__ but ___major obstacle___ stands in his/her way.
A local news anchor who has traveled through time must figure out how to get back to the present, but her children’s nanny wants her to stay.
c. (Situation) causes (main character) to face (largest obstacle) and (outcome).
Arriving a year into the future, a local news anchor must battle her children’s nanny to get her husband and children back.
2. Write a one-sentence phone pitch for your screenplay. First tell us the biggest hook and then incorporate it into your one-sentence pitch.
Hook: I keep thinking that my movie reminds me of The Family Man, only it’s a woman and everything is in reverse. Instead of gaining a family, she loses her family in a sense.
Pitch: It’s The Family Man with a woman and instead of gaining a family, she loses her family.
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BOB SMITH LOGLINE AND ONE-SENTENCE PHONE PITCH.
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT.
The all-importance of brevity.
1. Write a logline for your screenplay for each of the 3 formulas.
Protagonist_ has a problem_and_ much achieve goal_ to solve gthat problem.
During the shooting of “The Blue Angel” (1930). Oscar-winning actor Emil Jannings is in a jealous feud with (newly discovered) Marlene Dietrich but each actor must cast aside their animus in order to make the film the classic it is. In the aftermath, the career trajectories of both actors mirror the success and ruin of their characters in ‘The Blue Ange,” namely, the stardom of Dietrich and the ruin of Jannings.
Protagonist has_a goal_but_major obstacke_stands in his/her way.
Oscar winning actor (Emil Jannings) wants to revive his acting career, but he faces denazification if he cannot prove that he appeared in Nazi propaganda films under duress from the Third Reich.
(Situation) causes (main character to face (largest obstacle) and (outcome).
The Nazi party comes to power and forces Oscar-winning actor Emil Jannings to appear in Nazi propaganda films which subjects him to possible denazification and ruin at the end of World War II, if he cannot prove that he cooperated with the Nazis under duress. .
2. Write a one sentence phone pitch for your screenplay. First tell us the biggest hook and then incorporate it into your one sentence pitch.
“Moths Around a Flame: The Making of “The Blue Angel” is an historical drama – a movie about the making of a movie – with roles like Marlene Dietrich and Josef von Sternberg and others that would attract A-List actors. It tells the story of how the career tragectories of the lead actors of “The Blue Angel” ironically mirror the fates of the characters they play, in which there is stardom for Marlene Dietrich and ruin for Emil Jannings.
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Emmanuel’s Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch
What I learned from this assignment is the logline and phone pitch are different. The logline goes into more detail than the phone pitch. The phone pitch is simply the hook for the movie and the logline details the protagonist’s problem, goal and obstacle.
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Michelle Damis Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch
“What I learned from this lesson is that I think it will be easier to sell the hooks than the logline. I still need logline clarity. Some people have loved the logline, but others think it is too long and unclear.
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Write a logline for your screenplay for each of the 3 formulas:
a. A bored, depressed, homeless vampire moves in with empty-nester parents and finds his purpose and a family.
b. A bored, existential vampire seeking meaning to his life finds a family worth saving.
c. When a Vampires’s dwelling is set for demolition he moves in with empty-nester parents breaking Vampire code and putting them in danger.
2. Write a one-sentence phone pitch for your screenplay. First, tell us the biggest hook and then incorporate it into your one-sentence pitch.
Hooks-Family Friendly/wide audience and similar box office success….as well as a “Holiday” connection.
Empty Nest is a family-friendly Vampire story, The new ELF but for Halloween.
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Pablo’s Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch
What I learned: This is starting to come together. All this hard work and reconfiguring is paying off I think. These loglines don’t tell the whole story but it is still clear and easy to visualize
3 Logline Formulas:
a. Protagonist __has problem___ and ___must achieve goal__ to solve that problem.
Irma Ventura owes money to a devious drug lord and must take her sons across the Mexican border so that they aren’t forced to work for the cartel.
b. Protagonist has __a goal__ but ___major obstacle___ stands in his/her way.
Irma Ventura must sneak her sons across the Mexican border but drones controlled by the Cartel stand in their way.
c. (Situation) causes (main character) to face (largest obstacle) and (outcome).
The murder of her husband causes Irma Ventura to face an impossible debt to a devious drug lord and she escapes with her sons across the Mexican/US border before they can be forced to work for him.
Hook: What if there was a gameshow on the darkweb that streamed illegal immigrants attempting to cross the border and viewers were allowed to place bets.
Pitch: It’s a real life Hunger Games only the contestants are Mexican immigrants trying to cross the border.
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Budinscak Logline and One-Sentence Pitch
Day 7
What I learned doing this assignment:
o Short and sweet, less is more, intriguing and not confusing – loglines.
o The importance of finding the right words.
o Simply and subtly convey your story as well as your biggest hook.
Original Logline:
A sly gangster teaches his two stowaway nephews about life and family on a cross-country trip he’s agreed to make to save his family’s restaurant from destruction.
Loglines:
1A. A sly gangster agrees to deliver a package to Burbank to save his family’s restaurant never realizing his two preteen nephews are stowaways.
1B. To save his family’s restaurant, a slick gangster agrees to deliver a package, but little did he know his two preteen stowaway nephews were along for the ride.
1C. After agreeing to deliver a package cross-country in exchange to save his family’s restaurant, a sly gangster teaches his two stowaway nephews critical lessons about life.
Tagline:
Who doesn’t have a crazy uncle?
Pitch:
Biggest hooks: Great role for a bankable actor AND True – Inspired by a true story.
Pitch:
“Stand By Me” in a car with a crazy uncle.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt just said it about “Uber, Super Pumped”, “slick hair plus a gift of gab plus questionable ethics equals fun as hell to play.”
Coming of age story for the nephews as well as the uncle as he goes from heel to hero.
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Jodi’s Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch
With enough thought of the hooks, breaking down loglines to as short of a sentence as possible, it becomes more powerful than to put in lots of detail. It was a bit hard at first but after trying different combinations, it definitely reads better than what I had before.
1. Write a logline for your screenplay for each of the 3 formulas:
1. Protagonist (has problem) and (must achieve goal) to solve that problem.
A career cop sees women’s rights being attacked and reversed in her state, so she challenges the seat of the current conservative Governor in the upcoming Gubernatorial election.2. Protagonist has (a goal) but (major obstacle) stands in his/her way.
A career cop fights for protecting women’s reproductive rights but it is an uphill battle as the Governor and his male majority legislators continue to write new laws serving to diminish women’s rights further.
3. (Situation) causes (main character) to face (largest obstacle) and (outcome).
The stripping of women’s rights in her state motivates a career cop to run against and unseat the conservative Governor, her goal is to reverse the damage and destruction the Governor inhumanely has caused his female citizens.2. Write a one-sentence phone pitch for your screenplay. First tell us the biggest hook and then incorporate it into your one-sentence pitch.
The biggest hook is my protagonist challenging the Governor of her state in the upcoming Gubernatorial election.
One sentence pitch: A
career cop must challenge the Governor’s seat and win to save women’s
reproductive rights in her state where they are willing to give women the death
penalty who abort an embryo.
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