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Day 7 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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11 Replies
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What I learned from this assignment is I have uncovered story lines that have been buried gems within the story.
Tool 1: Dig: What’s beneath that? Jessie’s drug and alcohol abuse and sexual exploits and prostitution
Tool 2: Extrapolate: If Jessie was abused and trafficked when Irene and grandmother was away left by her single mother and boyfriend inflicted, then she sees her sexuality as currency and has deep resentment.
Tool 3: Wonder: What if Jessie fell in love and gets pregnant?
Tool 4: Backtrack: How could she being infertile have happened?
Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse not sure if the baby is her new love?
Grandpa Frank leaves his family
Tool 1: Dig: What’s beneath that he was abused physically and sexually in the boarding schools?
Tool 2: Extrapolate: If he was abused, statistically he fell into drugs and alcohol.
Tool 3: Wonder: What if Grandpa Frank starts to save other children and gets killed rescuing them? He still guides children when as a spirit.
Tool 4: Backtrack: How could have happened? Grandpa Frank was tracked by
Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse? He watches these kids get abused and can do nothing.
Yellowsmoke’s relationship with a white women when he was young.
Tool 1: Dig: What’s beneath that? Met at Dartmouth getting MBA.
Tool 2: Extrapolate: A spark between the woman and Yellowsmoke that starts the relationship.
Tool 3: Wonder: What if he married her? Against his family’s wishes they would have never accepted her.
Tool 4: Backtrack: How could this have happened she pursued him as a conquest and curiosity. She brought him home on Thanksgiving. Her parents are old money conservative and disrespect him.
Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse? She breaks up with him after they graduate and moves on. He’s deeply hurt and has intense distrust against white people.
Calvary’s battle to keep his land.
Tool 1: Dig: What’s beneath that? His grandfather and father started to form a militia to keep their land.
Tool 2: Extrapolate: They assassinate government officials. Calvary makes his first kill to.
Tool 3: Wonder: What if the current politicians sells the country out?
Tool 4: Backtrack: How could have happened? The grandfather is executed by the government.
Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse? Many people are killed in their community which is when they plan for independence for the Sandhills.
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Bob’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation.
What I learned from this assignment was that the five tools are extremely useful in developing additional fodder for concept and stories. They can be used almost endlessly.
Tool 1: Dig: What’s beneath that?
What’s beneath Daniel’s initial quest for vengeance?
· Is Daniel’s uncle the driver for vengeance? (possible use in episode)
· Does his uncle have a pertinent backstory driving his own agenda? (possible use in episode)
· Did the uncle setup the parents? If so, why? (don’t use)
· Was his uncle a Talpion soldier? Did he get Daniel into the program? (possible use in episode)
What’s beneath Daniel’s relationship with his Rabbi/therapist?
· Is the Rabbi feeding his quest for vengeance? (use in episode)
· Is the Rabbi stringing him along on drugs? (use in episode)
· Is the Rabbi part of the Temple Mount movement? (use in Pitch Bible)
· Does the Rabbi know Christina? Did he hire her to manipulate Daniel? (use in Pitch Bible)
· Is the Rabbi otherwise involved with the Temple Mount movement (raising a red heifer, preparing ceremonial items for the new temple)? (use in episode)
· If Daniel gets a dog (support animal?) is it from the same location as where the red heifer is being bred? (use in episode)
What’s beneath Avi, the bureau chief?
· Was he rejected by Talpion so bears a grudge? (possible use in episode)
· Does he know Daniel’s uncle? (possible use in episode)
· Does he hate Daniel’s uncle? (possible use in episode)
· Is he politically driven? (possible use in episode)
· Was he forced to take Daniel as an agent? (possible use in episode)
Tool 2: Extrapolate: If _____, then _____.
If the Rabbi and Christina are conspiring against Daniel, then…
· Will Daniel find out? (use in episode)
· Will Avi find out when he blackmails Christina to spy on Daniel? Will that tip him off to the Temple Mount movement? (use in episode)
· Do Christina and the Rabbi know the identity of the murderer? (don’t use)
· Will the Rabbi make extra decisions about Daniel’s drugs that would make him more dependent on him? On Christina? (possible use in episode)
Tool 3: Wonder: What if _____?
· What if Daniel fakes his dependence on drugs? (use in episode)
· What if Christina’s ex-husband is a terrorist? (don’t use)
· What if Najeh really changes stripes and is truly a reformed terrorist? (don’t use)
Tool 4: Backtrack: How could _____ have happened?
· How could Christina and the Rabbi have met? (use in episode)
· How do Avi and Daniel’s uncle know each other? (possible use in episode)
· How could Najeh hide his identity and become a respected politician? Who helped? Did someone bury information? If so, internal or external? Other Talpion turned anti-Zion? For money? (use in episodes)
Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get any worse?
If Daniel moves forward with the Temple Mount movement, how will he be able to make it look like a terrorist attack? (use in episode)
Will Christina and the Rabbi do things that endanger Daniel’s life? (use in episode)
Will Avi find out and arrest Daniel? (use in episode)
Once Najeh finds out Daniel is investigating him, will he try to have Daniel killed? (use in episode)
The discovery that Daniel’s Rabbi and Christina are conspiring together is, I believe, a substantial improvement. It explains why Christina specifically seeks out Daniel as the Rabbi and Christina will have met because of their mutual involvement in the Temple Mount movement. It also allows the Temple Mount movement to subtly enter the story in season one. This is being added to the Pitch Bible.
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Phyllis’ TV Pitch Bible Investigation
I learned that the tools are powerful, and they lead down a lot of paths that I would consider putting in the individual scripts, but only a handful of intriguing ones belonged in the TV Pitch Bible
After using the tools, I divided my deeper findings into the 3 categories: Use in Pitch Bible, Use in Episodes, and Don’t Use.
I rewrote my Pitch Bible to reflect the following:
In SUMMARY
I raised the stakes for Sasha by making her financial situation even more dire: she owes thousands in student loans.
In CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS
I added to Sasha’s description that she rarely trusts anyone, and she learned that because her father deserted her and her mom when Sasha was thirteen.
In SEASONS
The cover-up of the creatures is not Delia: it’s engineered by the CEO of a major energy conglomerate who recently became fused with a creature during a severe flooding event.
After Duncan and Sasha kill a creature, they arrange to have it loaded into a truck, escorted by them and a security detail. The truck is hijacked by masked militia types who hood and tie up Duncan and Sasha and the surviving security guards. The fused Creature/CEO receives word the hijacking was successful.
Duncan’s ex-wife reconciles with him after their daughter is found alive.
In EPISODES
When Duncan is injured in the methane explosion, so are other people and one person is killed. That proves Sasha’s fear of hurting innocent bystanders.
When Duncan and Sasha confront a creature, Duncan shoots at it but the bullets ricochet off of the creature’s armored skin. Sasha is wounded and he has to get them both away, which they barely do.
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What I learned doing this assignment is…by using 5 tools of “Investigation”, it allows many more story-line possibilities, more ideas, better ideas and over a season opens hundreds of possibilities.
For any parts where there is a substantial improvement, rewrite those parts of the TV Pitch Bible. Then, tell us what parts you changed and give a quick description of what you did. I did not rewrite any parts thus far but I came up with many more ideas for each episode in season one. I also used the method to a lesser extent on a few characters and will continue to do so.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by H.G. MIDDLEMASS.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by
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What I learned from doing this assignment is how to dig dipper into motivation and the past and find places where I need to know where everything starts, even if it never shows up in the actual episodes. Although I think I will use all these, even if they aren’t obvious or need to be used further down the line to explain something later.
Tool 1: Dig: What’s beneath that? LaDonna’s murder. We think Claudia did it, even though they’re friends. BUT Eric’s mother does it. After LaDonna leaves Claudia’s, she begins to walk home but remembers she left her phone. It starts to rain. Hard. Claudia has called Eric’s mom to let her know LaDonna knows everything. Eric’s mom sees LaDonna returning to Claudia’s, and offers her a ride. Grateful, LaDonna accepts. But Eric’s mom veers off the wrong way, feigning poor eyesight and making a wrong turn. She stops at the end of a road under construction, and point-blank asks LaDonna what she knows about her son. LaDonna isn’t alarmed at first. She calmly explains what she knows. Eric’s mom leaves the car, visibly upset, pretending not to know about the DID, which surprises LaDonna. Eric’s mom drops to the ground, pretending to cry, but grips a chunk of concrete in her hand. When LaDonna comes up behind her to try to console her, the rain pouring so hard, she’s drenched, Eric’s mom comes up fast and smashes her in the head with the rock. She attacks LaDonna brutally, until LaDonna no longer breathes. Then, she dumps her body in the ditch by the road and jumps back into her car. Drives away. USE IN LATER EPISODE AS EXPLANATION.
Tool 2: Extrapolate: Matt doesn’t want to represent Nat because he’s bitter that she replaced his sister. But then he begins to learn more about Natalie. Her sister writes letters to Matt, threatening to expose Natalie’s terrible upbringing during the trial. Matt actually becomes sympathetic to Nat and sees her more as a victim than the instigator. But Nat doesn’t want him feeling sorry for her. She gets angry with him. He keeps trying to tell her he’s helping her, but she feels he’s trying to find out what he can use against her. And then his sister, Danielle, is angry because he’s finding pity for the woman who took her place. The goal has been to defend Natalie. But now, it feels impossible. She’s attacked Eric, this is true, but her DID is her defense. But Danielle thinks she’s using it as a “get out of jail free” card. The divorce has made it hard on Danielle, who was a stay-at-home mother and now has to work as a bank teller to keep the house they live in. She’s bitter. And now that Matt is starting to take Natalie’s side? Put that bitch away. USE IN EPISODE.
Tool 3: Wonder: What if Jeanine has HIV? At first, Natalie thinks it’s another ploy. But she talks to Jeanine’s doctor, and it’s so. She feels guilty. She has the good life while Jeanine suffers. It’s not fair. GUILT until Jeanine begins to blackmail Nat for more money. And Eric finds out she’s handing her sister money. Cuts her off. And Jeanine gets meaner. Shows up at Nat’s yoga class. At one of the garden parties the high-brow neighbor throws. Anywhere she can stick in a barb to hurt Natalie. She left the family, turned on them to live a life free from the streets. So unfair. The least Nat can do is financially support her. USE IN EPISODE.
Tool 4: Backtrack: How could Eric’s cheating have happened? When Eric and his mother took Linnie out shopping for school clothes, his eyes locked with Claudia’s in the store. It was as if he knew her. She smiled, his heart lurched. But they did not speak to one another. She did overhear him say Linnie’s name. Then she found out who he was by asking around. She did some sleuthing on the internet. And made sure to bump into his mother later on, at the bridal shop Eric’s mother owned. She pretended she was getting married, was looking for a gown. Made Eric’s mom feel sorry for her, she was marrying a guy her parents hated. Eric’s mom confides she hates Eric’s wife. They decide to go for coffee the next day. The next day arrives and Eric’s mom learns Claudia is a past-life regression specialist. Eric’s mom has been keeping this burdensome secret about her son forever. She discloses it, and Claudia is now positive Eric is attached to her past lives. Especially when Eric’s mom talks about the different people Eric has inside him. They are all so familiar to Claudia. She offers to see Eric, free of charge, for an evaluation. As a favor to Eric’s mom.
Claudia attempts to seduce Eric, and he finds her alluring. They begin a secret relationship. This is the person Eric speaks with while on the phone when Natalie attacks him.
But when Natalie invites him to meet Claudia, they pretend not to know one another. And Eric goes as far as to pretend not to like Claudia. He definitely doesn’t want to be in the same room with Claudia and Natalie. So it’s believable that he distrusts Claudia, and Nat is disappointed. Even angry. USE IN EPISODE.
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Lesson 7: Investigating Your Show
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Subject line: Nadine’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation
What I learned doing this assignment is that I had already done much of it and I look forward to discovering even more ways to deepen the mystery.
Do a complete investigation on your TV Pitch Bible to discover more depth, layers, and intrigue.
Starting with your BW Framework and the current draft of the TV Pitch Bible, ASSUME there is something beneath the surface that you absolutely MUST discover.
2. Investigate by picking situations and characters and asking:
Tool 1: Dig: What’s beneath that? In 2nd season, it will be revealed that Jai has had a benefactor (who helped her get out of the military, paid for her education, and helped her set up a storefront practice); and that this benefactor is actually her BIO dad.
Tool 2: Extrapolate: If Kuno discovers that his BIO Dad (who’s married to his mom), impregnated Charlotte (Jai’s mom), then he will assume he and Jai are siblings (they’re not), and that his father was messing around (he didn’t).
Tool 3: Wonder: What if Jai has developed a relationship with her benefactor, believes he’s a good guy, then discovers he’s the (bad) man who raped her mother when her mom was only 12?
Tool 4: Backtrack: How could this have happened? If the rapist found out that his rape victim had a baby; he was able to match their DNA; then, because he was wealthy enough to do so, he set up a trust fund for his illegitimate child (Jai), and over the years secretly pretended to be the kind administrator, when he was really a predator.
Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse? Now that Jai is older and quite attractive, he is haunted by his desire to do to her what he did to her mother.
3. Evaluate the possibilities and decide what you are going to use in the different parts of your TV Pitch Bible. Divide the answers into three categories:
I will use TOOLs #1 , #2 , and #5 in my TV Pitch Bible.
I will use TOOLs # 3, and # 4 in Episodes.
4. For any parts where there is a substantial improvement, rewrite those parts of the TV Pitch Bible. Then, tell us what parts you changed and give a quick description of what you did.
In episode #2 or #3, where we see Jai going through a very rough time in the military, in which she is raped, her BIO father (who was her mother’s rapist, struggles between his rekindled desire and his desire to protect his illegitimate daughter from men like himself.
Post your assignment in the forums at
https://www.screenwritingclasses.com/forums/
Deadline: 2 days
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Marcus’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation
In this lesson, I learned a good way to do a real rewrite.
I used the tools to find some new and useful material for the Episodes section. I found that digging deeper worked the best for me here and used it on every episode.
I also used it on the Seasons section, but that part is still a bit weak. Some work remains to be done.
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Assignment lesson 7 module 2
Marie’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation
What I learned doing this assignment is going through the tools added lots of levels to my story!! I loved it! It’s brainstorming with a coach. Each question opens a new door and helped me to center the show on one main theme.
TOOL 1: DIG: WHAT’S BENEATH THAT?
Skyler
Level 1
A guardian angel has a mission to accomplish with a human teenager called Rose
Level 2
He fails his mission and he lies to his mentor and his friends about it
Level 3
He believes and so do his friends that he is actually a fallen angel.
Level 4
He is not, but he is manipulated by the fallen angels and part of a large scheme.
Level 5
He is actually a human boy in a coma and he was an angel to redeem his past sins.
Level 6
Now that he is a human being, he wants to meet Rose in real life.
Level 7
His past will catch up on him. The people he hurt when he was 10 and caused him to want to end his life will come for revenge.
ROSE
Level 1
She has been selected to receive a gift: she will become an genius ehtical Ciber who will have a great influence on Cyber security around the planet
Level 2
She is caught into competintg with the 3 other people in the world who received the same gift and the same mission. Which one of them will receive the nobel price?
TOOL 2: EXTRAPOLATE: IF___________ THEN_________
If Skyler is competing with three other guardian angels, it will be his drive to break the rules. Where does it go? Who might be involved (his friends Merrill and Charlie?)
If the mentors were actually watching them and controlling them but suddenly would lose the power of controlling them and at that particular moment recognize that they are under attack from the fallen angels.
– Rose (with the help of 14 years old neighbour) hacks a credit card of a horrible neihgbour but puts the money back into her letter box.
– Rose’s ultimate goal is the Nobel Prize so she works day and night when she happens to do something remarkable that attracts the attention of the professor.
– The professor who loves dating very young girl gets in touch with Rose online but doesn’t reveal his true identity, then she could be a victim of this predator both for sex and for him to steal the progresses of her researches (she has been further than him).
– Rose hears about the researches of the African man and tries to reach out to him but his wife thinks she is a date ?
At one point, Rose is evil because she is guided by Charlie.
– Rose learns more with a 17-year old who wants sex with her and teaches her how to hack a company and ransom them and then he runs away with the money.
– A mysterious genius (the elder woman) gets to publish an article online about her research and Rose reckons she doesn’t have what it takes to beat her ?
– Rose decides to give up.
– Rose hacks another company and finds a way to hide her money.
– Rose hacks the water filtration system for a ransom.
– Rose hacks the election?
If Rose becomes bad and Skyler becomes bad to save her, they are both out of control but watched by the mentor.
So Skyler is withdrawn from his mission and sent to keep the ramparts while another guardian angel is sent to support Skyler.
The new guardian angel is actually an embodied guardian angel and pretends he has a good connection with Rose and makes her do a couple of good things before he makes her do something absolutely devastating ????
TOOL 3: WONDER: WHAT IF_______________________
What if the knowledge that is passed to Rose as well as 3 others on different points of the planet, created a competition between Rose and those 3 other Cyber geniuses !!
What if Rose wanted to have a worldwide recognation for her talent rather than just searching for her father’s recognition? She wants to be the youngest to receive the nobel prize for contributing to help Peace in the world. She will be a Cyber security heroin. The youngest is 17. She has 4 years to achieve her goal.
What if the 3 others were
– a lonely retired woman with a false identity
– An African young man with a wife and a child
– A university professor specialized in Cyber security but fired because of his bad behavior with young female students
What if their guardian angels must meet regularly and decide which of them will win each battle and which one will get the nobel price eventually.
What if Charlie the real Charlie was often bullied by his school friend and find refuge with the awkward dyslexic Skyler.
What if Charlie the fallen angel would not only fights the bullies but would scare them to death?
Why Skyler lost connection with Rose? It shouldn’t be the only one? Are the three others going through the same issue? Will the three guardian angels will lie about the disconnection because they are competing ?
Who has organized the disconnection ?
The fallen angels who start by focusing on stopping the evolution of mankind.
This is the first step in the fallen angels scheme.
TOOL 4: BACK TRACK: HOW COULD_______________________HAVE HAPPENED?
Piece of conspiration revealed: how could it have happened?
The fallen angels’s plan is to disconnect human being from the inspiration and the protection of their guardian angel. How could this have happened? Because the world is getting too peacefull and the planet too well taken care of.
The fallen angels have lost their power ! They fill their influence is weakening more and more every day.
How could the embodiement have happened?
Shocking event
How could the connection have been cut off?
Because the fallen angels have also their school and their knowledge, actually the same as the Guardian angels but they are always doing the opposite.
When the angels explains the law of energy, the good attracks the good, they teach the same, but how the bad attracts the bad.
So using the last discovery in the field of energy, they found a way thanks to a mad scientist to disconnect the energy field.
There is however, one way that doesn’t apply and the connection can be reinstalled.
Skyler will have to discover that.
Mystery: how Skyler could have been doubting of his origin.
All angels come from earth. They all have been humans. But only him has traumatic memories because he is actually still a human being. His body is waiting down there in a coma. He has to come back before they pull the plug.
TOOL 5: FORECAST: HOW COULD THIS GET EVEN WORSE?
How could this get even worse for Skyler?
Rose has been gifted by the creator to improve humankind and uses her skills for the opposite reason. She ends up creating dissention and wars. and Skyler is not only powerless to stop her but seems to enjoy getting into crime himself.
How could the character get even worse ?
He is already lying, pretending, manipulating until he realizes he is manipulated himself, he is part of a scheme too big for him. He is not up to the task, wether he is a good man or a bad man.
He was unprepared to that level of struggle. He is unable to deal with it because he is worthless, he had already failed his previous mission and he doesn’t even know what he did wrong then.
Situation; how could this get worse?
Not only his mentor is disapointted, not only he has to admit that they were wrong about thinking he could be the chosen, now, he has lost confidence in himself. And he is about to be embodied by the fallen angel and his soul kept away in a prison cell.
Moral dilemma:
He had to break the rules and lie to keep Rose alive and he had to pretend he had accomplished his mission but he also had to face the disapointment of his mentor and his friend Merrill when they saw the pleasure he took at being bad, a dimension he didn’t know he had inside himself.
USE IN TV PITCH BIBLE
Mystery: how Skyler could have been doubting of his origin?
All angels come from earth. They all have been humans. But only him has traumatic memories because he is actually still a human being. His body is waiting down there in a coma. He has to come back before they pull the plug.
Skyler is actually a human boy in a coma and he was an angel to redeem his past sins.
Now that he is a human being, he wants to meet Rose in real life.
His past will catch up on him. The people he hurt when he was 10 and caused him to want to end his life will come for revenge.
Rose has been selected to receive a gift: she will become an genius ehtical Ciber who will have a great influence on Cyber security around the planet
What if the knowledge that is passed to Rose as well as 3 others on different points of the planet, created a competition between Rose and those 3 other Cyber geniuses !!
What if Rose wanted to have a worldwide recognation for her talent rather than just searching for her father’s recognition? She wants to be the youngest to receive the nobel prize for contributing to help Peace in the world. She will be a Cyber security heroin. The youngest is 17. She has 4 years to achieve her goal.
She is caught into competintg with the 3 other people in the world who received the same gift and the same mission. Which one of them will receive the nobel price?
If Skyler is competing with three other guardian angels, it will be his drive to break the rules. Where does it go? Who might be involved (his friends Merrill and Charlie?)
If the mentors were actually watching them and controlling them but suddenly would lose the power of controlling them and at that particular moment recognize that they are under attack from the fallen angels
Why Skyler lost connection with Rose? It shouldn’t be the only one? Are the three others going through the same issue? Will the three guardian angels will lie about the disconnection because they are competing ?
Who has organized the disconnection ?
The fallen angels who start by focusing on stopping the evolution of mankind.
This is the first step in the fallen angels scheme.
They have cut what they call the « great connections ». The inspiring ideas that will make the human being evolved and improve their live.
So this applied to the artists, singers, poets, physicians, scientists…
Mankind is deprived from inspired new ideas.
Second step of the scheme, remove all the guardian angels, starting from the school of angels so every single human being will be guided by demons only.
The fallen angels’s plan is to disconnect human being from the inspiration and the protection of their guardian angel. How could this have happened? Because the world is getting too peacefull and the planet too well taken care of.
The fallen angels have lost their power ! They fill their influence is weakening more and more every day.
How could the embodiement have happened?
When the angels explains the law of energy, the good attracks the good, they teach the same, but how the bad attracts the bad.
So using the last discovery in the field of energy, they found a way thanks to a mad scientist to disconnect the energy field.
USE IN EPISODS
– Rose (with the help of 14 years old neighbour) hacks a credit card of a horrible neihgbour but puts the money back into her letter box.
– Rose’s ultimate goal is the Nobel Prize so she works day and night when she happens to do something remarkable that attracts the attention of the professor.
– The professor who loves dating very young girl gets in touch with Rose online but doesn’t reveal his true identity, then she could be a victim of this predator both for sex and for him to steal the progresses of her researches (she has been further than him).
– Rose hears about the researches of the African man and tries to reach out to him but his wife thinks she is a date ?
What if the 3 others were
– a lonely retired woman with a false identity
– An African young man with a wife and a child
– A university professor specialized in Cyber security but fired because of his bad behavior with young female students
What if their guardian angels must meet regularly and decide which of them will win each battle and which one will get the nobel price eventually.
– A mysterious genius (the elder woman) gets to publish an article online about her research and Rose reckons she doesn’t have what it takes to beat her ?
– Rose decides to give up.
– Rose hacks another company and finds a way to hide her money.
– Rose hacks the water filtration system for a ransom.
– Rose hacks the election?
If Rose becomes bad and Skyler becomes bad to save her, they are both out of control but watched by the mentor.
So Skyler is withdrawn from his mission and sent to keep the ramparts while another guardian angel is sent to support Skyler.
The new guardian angel is actually an embodied guardian angel and pretends he has a good connection with Rose and makes her do a couple of good things before he makes her do something absolutely devastating ????
What if Charlie the real Charlie was often bullied by his school friend and find refuge with the awkward dyslexic Skyler.
What if Charlie the fallen angel would not only fights the bullies but would scare them to death?
About Skyler: dyslexic, running away when facing his own struggle
He is already lying, pretending, manipulating until he realizes he is manipulated himself, he is part of a scheme too big for him. He is not up to the task, wether he is a good man or a bad man.
He was unprepared to that level of struggle. He is unable to deal with it because he is worthless, he had already failed his previous mission and he doesn’t even know what he did wrong then.
Situation; how could this get worse?
Not only his mentor is disapointted, not only he has to admit that they were wrong about thinking he could be the chosen, now, he has lost confidence in himself. And he is about to be embodied by the fallen angel and his soul kept away in a prison cell.
Moral dilemma:
He had to break the rules and lie to keep Rose alive and he had to pretend he had accomplished his mission but he also had to face the disapointment of his mentor and his friend Merrill when they saw the pleasure he took at being bad, a dimension he didn’t know he had inside himself.
The fallen angels have cut what they call the « great connections ». The inspiring ideas that will make the human being evolved and improve their live.
So this applied to the artists, singers, poets, physicians, scientists…
Mankind is deprived from inspired new ideas.
Second step of the scheme, remove all the guardian angels, starting from the school of angels so every single human being will be guided by demons only.
The fallen angels’s plan is to disconnect human being from the inspiration and the protection of their guardian angel. How could this have happened? Because the world is getting too peacefull and the planet too well taken care of.
The fallen angels have lost their power ! They fill their influence is weakening more and more every day.
How could the embodiement have happened?
When the angels explains the law of energy, the good attracks the good, they teach the same, but how the bad attracts the bad.
So using the last discovery in the field of energy, they found a way thanks to a mad scientist to disconnect the energy field.
DON’T USE:
The real father story / the mother being dissociated.
TV PITCH BIBLE `
What I changed:
skyler, a guardian angel has been assigned to protect and inspire a very special human, Rose, a 13-year old teenager.
Rose has been chosen by the creator to be a genius in Cyber sciences and to become the future Nobel prize for her contribution to peace.
Rose is so gifted that she knows better than notorious scientists in the field and she has given herself the goal to be the youngest Nobel prize in the country.
Her knowledge is inspired by her guardian angel, Skyler, who whispers the answers, connects the dots for her and leads her to her success.
She is aware that answers come magically to her head and she feels a light when connecting with her guardian angel.
But suddenly, the connection stops. Both Skyler and Rose are totally lost!
Skyler had failed his previous mission and cannot fail Rose.
He uses all the knowledge he receives about teenagers’s behaviour at the school of angels and applies the law of energy but nothing works.
Rose has a commitment to give an international online lecture and feels the ligth is gone, the whispering inspirational words have stopped. She has like a writer’s block in the same time she gets her period and her hormone changes affect her mood.
So Skyler uses forbidden techniques of manipulating the time and the place to change the course of events.
When asked by his mentor and his friend, how he is doing, he lies and pretends he’s in control.
Rose discovers that the same advance she achieved in her work has been also discovered by 3 other people in the world who received the same gift and the same mission. Which one of them will receive the nobel price?
Skyler prevents the three other competitors to do their own lectures and steals their data, finds ways to place the stolen data in front of Rose since he cannot talk to her anymore but Rose seems to want to give it all up.
The more he helps her, the more he is breaking the rule and the more he acts like a teenager with a real pleasure at taking risks.
The less she has connection with him, the more she is obsessed with dating boys on line and searching for her identity.
But his mentor has been watching him all the time and has to stop Skyler.
Skyler is ashamed when he realizes that he was watched by a whole classroom as a model. He admits that he was wrongly chosen for Rose, with his dyslexia and his pleasure at breaking bad, he totally deserves his punishment: he is sent to guard the ramparts at the edge of the world of angels.
The new guardian angel who replaces him with Rose has no connection problem but what he whispers and what he inspires Rose to do is evil. Why is Rose turning into a monster? She starts hacking and stealing money.Her goal to become the Nobel Prize is a faded memory.
Skyler is crying over his fate, pitying himslef, when he sees his friend Charlie coming to him. Charlie was punished to for a unfair reason and Skyler witnesses Charlie being embodied by demons, the fallen angels. They try to embody him as well but for some mysterious reason, they can’t.
Students look at him oddly when he returns to school. Some rumors say he is a fallen angels. Some other rumors says his arrival has been a mystery no one wants to talk about and he is told by Merrill that she found a prediction about him. It says that he will save the school of angels.
But Skyler believes he is a fallen angel since he couldn’t get embodied like Charlie.
Skyler warn the principal (the archangel principal) and he gathers the school to announce that an attack from the fallen angel could be imminent.
The principal explains how the fallen angels have cut what they call the « great connections ». The inspiring ideas that will make the human being evolved and improve their live.
So this applied to the artists, singers, poets, physicians, scientists…
Mankind is deprived from inspired new ideas.
Second step of the scheme, remove all the guardian angels, starting from the school of angels so every single human being will be guided by demons only.
The principal sends Merrill and Skyler on a secret mission of finding which students have been already embodied and report their names.
Then the principal calls all the students on the list including the one who is with Rose,to be on one team and all the good guardian angels on the other team. The game becomes a battle field between angels and demons. Thanks to Skyler fantastic ability to fly faster with a better 3D awareness, the fallen angel are killed.
In the meantime, Rose has used her skill for no good. She ransoms companies, and considers ransoming a hospital.
She is caught by the police and arrested.
At the school of guardian angels Skyler is able to reverse the embodiement process and recover the souls of the guardian angel, reunite them with their body but it requires such an energy that it kills him.
Skyler wakes up. He is not dead but lying on a hospital bed. He is that boy that was in his traumatic memories. He is waking up from 7 years and 111 days of coma.
He has to find Rose.
The people he hurt when he was 10 will come for revenge.
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Diana’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation
What I learned: I liked the what ifs/then whats and the what if it got worses in particular.
Do a complete investigation on your TV Pitch Bible to discover more depth, layers, and intrigue.
1. Starting with your BW Framework and current draft of the TV Pitch Bible, ASSUME there is something beneath the surface that you absolutely MUST discover.
2. Investigate by picking situations and characters and asking:
Tool 1: Dig: What’s beneath that? Wife is career criminal. Because her mother groomed her to be. Because they are evil and lazy and get pleasure out of a destryoing others. The mother is using the daughter to get what she wants and the daughter is using men to get what she wants: money and power and more of it.
Tool 2: Extrapolate: If Lupe has four other husbands, then they are probably looking for her. Why doesn’t she divorce them? Because then she would have to confront them and pay for her crimes. This way she can keep bleeding them dry until there is nothing left. And she is AWOL with no one else to blame for the setup.
Tool 3: Wonder: What if they (the other husbands) each found her? Lupe could be held accountable for her crimes. Would she try to win them over? Would she flee? Would she pit all of the husbands against each other to buy time to escape?
Tool 4: Backtrack: How could that have happened? Carlos notifies others, first by confronting the one guy who is watching the house and then digging deeper into the matter by discovering other husbands. One of the men is already in prison.
Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse? Father sent to jail. Son soon after him in prison. Another of Lupe’s husbands after him in prison. They all break out and become fugitives with opposing goals. Lupe harms someone. Lupe is harmed. Carlos is in danger.
3. Evaluate the possibilities and decide what you are going to use in the different parts of your TV Pitch Bible. Divide the answers into three categories:
Use in TV Pitch Bible: Husbands after the same woman, career criminal who destroys their lives.
Use in Episodes: One husband has change of heart and betrays the others by foiling their plan. Carlos locked in trunk of Marcos’ car when he is kidnapped. Gets out alive when Marcos stops for beer and slams on the brakes, awakening Carlos who realizes he is in a dark trunk. Will he bust out before Marcos comes out or get caught in the act? Have him get caught and get beaten up and add more dramatic tension by incoporating hope/fear.
Don’t use: Grandmother using santeria. She can have someone else do the santeria for her, which is more aligned with her character. She is spoiled and has others do her dirty work for her.
4. For any parts where there is a substantial improvement, rewrite those parts of the TV Pitch Bible. Then, tell us what parts you changed and give a quick description of what you did.
What I changed: Using what could make their plan worse at the end is one of the husbands has a change of heart and decides to thwart their plan, so in addition to US Marshalls and a vengeful son after him, he also has someone in his inner circle who’s still in love with Lupe, despite everything she has done to destroy his life, and giving intel to Lupe and trying to thwart their plan. Also, instead of them killing the wife at the end of the series, I’m leaving it open-ended and having them get revenge on her by setting her up to fall for the same scam she uses on others.
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What I learned from my investigation was…so much!
Every idea led to a cascade of ideas that covered questions such as “how can The Agents travel between realities?” Plus, I fleshed out an entire new character important enough to include in the Character Profiles: Joshua’s stepdaughter Leila, who is sensitive to other realities–and that led to discovering the Secret that Joshua knows that makes Salva want to kill him and the spies want to save him.
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Eric Watterson’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation
“What I learned doing this assignment is how to deep much deeper into the show concept.
I’ve added the following after this exercise:
– Added a more detailed description of the background of The Centry League
– Increased the storyline of Anthony’s Dad
– Increased the intrigue on how and why Anthony/Mac lost his memory
– Added more detailed to the boy’s character story
– Added more to Officer Tims story and background
– I adjusted the login line to make the inciting moment a little more believable (I think)
– I enhanced the medallion aspect of the storyline
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