Day 7 Assignments

[Brigitte Timmerman]

Mod 3 Lesson 7 Open Loops and Mystery

What I learned from this assignment creating mystery and open loops create more intrigue that can be used throughout the season. It is also a great format for the pilot.

Make a list of your turning points.

Act 1 The social worker is aware of groups that traffic children but does not tip off Irene and Jessie due to it puts her safety in jeopardy.(M) Who is threatening the social worker?(M) Network is bigger than she thinks (O) What will they do to her if she outs them? Act 2 There is a bandit network that has been following them (M) Who is the bandit network?(M) Are they tied with the traffickers?(O) What do they do with the people they capture? Act 3 Someone from the inside of the adoption agency tipped off the traffickers.(M) Who is tipping off the traffickers? (M) Does this person know what happens to the victims?(O) Is the person part of the network or being threatened? Act 4 There are some people in the community know Isaac is valuable. Will they try to sell him?(M) Irene and Jessie are worried Isaac could be sold from someone in their community. (M) Some members are not happy they brought a child into their community that is stretched for resources. (M) Who in the community would turn Isaac over to a trafficker?(O) What happens to Isaac if he is being turned over to a trafficker? Act 5 A few people in the community member are part of the raid. One tries to take Isaac. (M) Why did some of the community members raid their own?(M) What is their plan for Isaac?(O) Where did the community members go who were part of the raid?

[H.G. MIDDLEMASS]

Mod 3 – Lesson 7: Mysteries and Open Loops

1. Look through your current outline and find opportunities for at least 5 Open Loops and 5 Mysteries either in the plot or about the characters.

List them like this:

Main Mysteries:

Who is the corporation that hired the candidates?

What method was used to choose the final 13 and why?

Why is the training facility so remote?

Why is there no staff to supervise training?

What reason did they build secret tunnels for?

Main Open Loops:

What will be the true nature of the job?

How will the winner be selected?

How can Verna beat the other “more qualified” candidates?

What will happen if they press the Panic Button?

What will happen if they “Don’t” press the Panic Button?

Who is the killer among them?

[Kimberly Gore]

Kim’s Open Loops and Mysteries

What I learned from doing this assignment is how to discover fresh loops and mysteries within the pilot. I’m sure I can dive deeper, though.

Mystery: Who attacked Eric and why?

Sub-Mysteries:

Eric clearly saw who attacked him, why is he not saying anything?

Why does the detective seem so certain it was Natalie?

If it was Natalie, why does she seem seriously shocked to find Eric injured?

Is there something important going on with Natalie that isn’t evident yet?

Who would want to harm Eric?

Who was he talking to on the phone, and is this related to the attack?

Main Open Loop: What is going on in Eric and Natalie’s marriage?

Sub-Open Loops:

Is Eric unhappy in his marriage?

Is it related to her immaturity?

Why does Eric want to hide things about Natalie from Danielle?

What happened between Danielle and Eric that made them get divorced?

Why is Eric with Natalie, when he treats her like a child?

What is Aggie hiding? What does she know?

[Phyllis Strong]

Phyllis’ Open Loops and Mysteries

I learned from this assignment that the mysteries and open loops are good for adding “tip of the iceberg” intrigue to the outline.

Main Mystery

Is Duncan delusional or do these creatures really exist?

Sub-Mysteries

· Why is Duncan so obsessed with these creatures?

· Has mental health been an issue for Duncan?

· Why did Duncan turn against his family?

· Why did Duncan and Delia split apart?

· What really happened when Duncan’s daughter died?

· Why is Sasha so driven to protect the planet?

· Why does Sasha have this reservoir of anger ready to come to the surface?

· Why does Sasha have a fraught relationship with her mother?

Main Open Loop

What are these creatures?

Sub-Open Loops

· Why is Duncan so passionate about these particular deaths?

· What’s behind Duncan looking at suspicious deaths?

· What is Sasha going to do next to protect the planet?

· Will Duncan track down the creatures?

· Will Sasha ever believe that these creatures are real?

· What will happen when Duncan and Sasha encounter a creature?

· Will Sasha ever believe that these creatures are real?

· What really happens when these creatures die?

· What is making the creatures go after humans?

· Will Delia be able to stop Duncan?

[Marcus Wolf]

Lesson 7

Marcus’ Open Loops and Mysteries

What I learned from this assignment is yet another way to add to the complexity and interest of the pilot outline.

While doing this assignment I found quite a few mysteries and open-loops to add to my pilot. I added them to my outline, which is now getting pretty confusing-looking. But here is a definite direction to it.

[Marie Jordan]

Marie’s open loops and mysteries

What I learned doing this assignment is to create as much mystery and open loop as possible and to push down the answers to the end of the season.

I have added Open Loops and Mysteries to such an extend that -I don’t even know the answers to some of those open loops yet. Lots of brainstorming to come. It’s the first time since I’ve been writing scripts that I feel the process allows so much creativity that it’s incredibly fun! Thanks Hal! Hard work too but that’s part of the process anyway.

[Mary Andrews]

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Mod 3 lesson 7: Mary J. Andrews Open Loops and Mysteries
What I learned from this assignment is that there are all kinds of options when/wherever you look.

T E A S E R :

Main Mystery: Who, why, how did paranormal terrorists mind-jack a Universal Government Ambassador especially knowing that when they’re caught they will automatically be condemned to
be addicted to the Hive drug and condemned to service at the Hive for life. What is their power base to
be able to evade the Gov seeker team?

Sub-Mysteries: Why were the world agents who physically attacked the team on their own ship so ill
prepared to confront them anyway? Who sent them? Why? What were they expecting to accomplish?
How could their documentation be so flawless? Who is backing them?

Main Open Loop: Who can be powerful/stupid enough to confront/openly attack The Universal Government and its agents? Why now and these particular agents?

Sub-Open Loops: Who/what is Tristen? Where does she come from?

A C T 1 :
Main Mystery: What are the facts to make into a plan?
Sub-Mysteries: Who is the mind-jacker?
How can she be controlled/trusted by anyone?
What will the terrorists do to prevent her capture if they treat her so badly now?
Can she be coerced to help capture the others?

Main Open Loop: Can this team work together?
Sub-Open Loops: Why do the other team members not acknowledge Ira’s skill level?
Why doesn’t he fight back?

A C T 2 :
Main Mystery: What is happening to Rael when he starts behaving abnormally?
Sub-Mysteries: How can Ira and Laynald handle this?

Main Open Loop: Who is the woman beckoning Rael?
Where is she leading him?
Sub-Open Loops: Will there be more attackers coming? Have they missed anything?

M I D P O I N T :
Main Mystery: Why is the team meeting with no resistance within The Pleasure Palace first when they hunt down Rael and the psi-jacker and when after they capture and carry her out the back?
Sub-Mystery: How badly is Rael affected?
Who is watching them? Why do nothing?

Main Open Loop: Will the team be able to succeed in controlling the slave girl?
Sub-Open Loops: Who is the man watching them leave The Palace?

A C T 3 :
Who are these Oracles she is bound to? What is her mission for them? Could she have made all this up? Why was she surgically blinded?

Main Mystery: Who is this woman? Why would her masters allow her to be taken? Where were they?
Sub-Mysteries: How can the team force her to release Rael and the Ambassador?

Main Open Loop: Is this a trap? Can Ira match her abilities? What if she can control him?
Sub-Open Loops: Can Ira save her, Ambassador Dash, Rael?

A C T 4 :
Main Mystery: How to control such a powerful opponent?
Sub-Mysteries: Where does she come from. Who is she and who does she work for?

Main Open Loop: Who are these Oracles she claims fealty to and where is her world?
Sub-Open Loops: Can they ever trust her? Should they risk not handing her over to the Universal Government?

A C T 5 :
Main Mystery: Can Rael’s plan to combine Tristen and Ira’s abilities with a compu-link work to expose exactly what the Ambassador experienced when captured to reveal what/who the terrorists are and what they were seeking work?
Sub-Mysteries: Who can successfully attack the Head of Dark Ops at Dark Ops Prime?
Main Open Loop: Can they reach Rael adopted mother before she dies?
Sub-Open Loops: Can Tristen become a team member?
Can Ira handle what he’s done to her?
Are Laynald’s concerns about Tristen warranted?

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[David Thome]

What I learned: It seems as though mysteries and sub-mysteries and open loops and sub-open loops are already in the outline as the result of previous exercises. Still, this lesson provided clarity on the difference between mysteries and open loops.

[Diana Ceres]

Diana’s Open Loops and Mysteries

What I learned: It was fun going through my outline to see where else I could add mystery and intrigue. I’m starting to see the difference between mystery and open loops and the importance of revealing things a little at a time to string the viewer along so they can put the puzzle pieces together, bit by bit.

Teaser

Tropical storm destroys houses on islands in the Caribbean. Voiceover of potential of turning into a Category 6 hurricane. Alternate: Court case: Jury convicted man. We don’t see who is being cuffed. Just the back of a man.

Teaser is boring: Will come up with something else. Placeholder for now.

Act 1: Jake having breakfast with family. Lupe tries to get Jake to stay. Jake dismises threat of hurricane and says he’s going to the conference, in spite of the prediction that the tropical storm will turn into the worst hurricane in history.

Turning point: Jake ignores Lupes pleas and decides to go to medical conference.

Main Mystery: Why is Jake so insistent on going to the conference? Why doesn’t Lupe try harder to get him to stay?

Sub-mystery: How did Jake land someone hot like Lupe?

Main open loop: Will the tropical storm hit? Will it turn into a hurricane? Will the family survive? Will Jake survive?

Sub-open loop: Why is Marco having breakfast with the family? Why did Jake tease the boys about wanting something? Is he right?

Act 2: Jake packs and leaves for medical conference. Lupe has tantrum, but Jake dismisses her, despite the fact that the tropical storm is growing stronger and headed their way.

Turning point: Jake ignores Lupe and leaves for conference.

Main Mystery: Why didn’t Jake change his mind when he heard the storm was headed their way?

Sub-mystery: Why didn’t Jake fall for Lupe’s tantrum? Why didn’t she try to stop him from leaving? Why is Jake so dismissive of the hurricane and Lupe? What’s his hurry?

Main Open loop: Will the tropical storm turn into the predicted Category 6 hurricane?

Sub-open loop: Is their marriage on the rocks?

Act 3: Category 6 hurricane headed their way. Lupe rushes everyone out of house. Marco walks into Jake’s office and sticks a thumb drive into his computer. Dolores is packing santeria shit calmly while everyone is rushing to get out. She is more focused on the lit candles on her altar than packing. Marco has hired a team of movers who clear out the house fast.

Turning point: Tropical storm becomes Category 6 hurricane. Predicted to hit land within the hour.

Main Mystery: What is Marco doing to Jake’s computer?

Sub-mystery: Why does Marco come back with a bunch of movers and a moving van? Why is Dolores so calm when everyone else is frantic? Why is Marco leaving Jake’s computer and office equipment?

Main Open loop: What’s up with all the santeria shit in Dolores’ closet? Why is she holding everyone else up?

Sub-open loop: Why are candles burning when Dolores should be packing? Is she casting some sort of spell? Why is Marco loading the moving van with all the furniture? Shouldn’t they just leave?

Act 4: Hurricane is about to touch down. The wind is strong, branches are blowing across the yard.

Turning point: Lupe and family leave in the moving van.

Main Mystery: Why didn’t Lupe answer Jake’s call? Why is she stealing from her husband?

Sub-mystery: What’s up with all the burner phones? Why did she throw everyone’s phones in the bushes?

Main Open loop: What are Lupe and her family plotting? Why didn’t they leave sooner? What will Jake do? Is he so worried that he’ll come home during a hurricane? Can he even do that?

Sub-open loop: Will they get out of there alive? Why isn’t Marco going with them?

What is he going to do with all the furnishings?

Act 5: Lupe in hotel with kids and Dolores. Everyone’s appearance has changed. Sealed folders on the bed. Jake comes home. House is empty. Dolores is outside, talking on her burner phone.

Turning point: Jake shares pic of Lupe with media to find her.

Main Mystery: Why has everyone changed their appearance? What’s up with all the folders on the bed? What’s in them?

Sub-mystery: Why is the house empty when Jake comes home later that week? Who is Dolores talking to on her burner phone?

Main Open loop: Is Jake’s family on the lam? Will they contact Jake?

Sub-open loop: What did Marco do with all the furniture? Will he be joining them at the hotel?

Lock in/Turning Point: Lupe on TV with photo. Jake robbed and framed for child porn by his wife. Jake being questioned by cops for possession of child porn.

Main Mystery: Why are Lupe and her family on the lam? What is a pediatrician doing with child porn? Why do the police think Jake is a pedophile? Is that Marco’s doing? Is Jake really a pedophile?

Sub-mystery: Why didn’t Jake call the police right away when he got home? Why does Lupe laugh when she sees her photo on TV?

Main Open loop: Why aren’t the cops more interested in Jake’s empty house? Why are they so fixated on his computer? Will Jake get arrested? Did he do something bad? What did Marco do to Jake’s computer?

Sub-open loop: Will Jake try to call Lupe again? Has he been set up? Will the cops search the rest of the house? Or just Jake’s computer? What’s going to happen to Jake? Lupe? Rest of family? Marco?

Revised Pilot Outline:

Act 1: Jake having breakfast with family. Lupe tries to get Jake to stay. Jake dismises threat of hurricane and says he’s going to the medical conference, in spite of the prediction that the tropical storm will turn into the worst hurricane in history and land in a matter of days. They’ve been saying that for months. And no hurricanes have landed. It’s just rained hard, so he’s not worried and thinks Lupe is overreacting per usual.

Turning point: Jake ignores Lupe’s pleas and decides to go to the conference.

Act 2: Jake packs and leaves for medical conference. Lupe has a tantrum. Jake ignores her and the news reporting that the tropical storm is growing stronger and headed their way.

Turning point: Jake leaves for conference.

Act 3: Next day news reports Category 6 hurricane headed their way. Lupe rushes everyone to get out of the house. Marco walks into Jake’s office and sticks a thumb drive into his computer. Dolores is packing santeria shit calmly while everyone is rushing. She is more focused on the lit candles on her altar than packing. Marco has hired a team of movers who clear out the house fast. Lupe rushes everyone out of the house. Marco drives away with van and movers.

Turning point: Tropical storm becomes Category 6 hurricane. Predicted to hit land by nightfall.

Act 4: Hurricane is about to touch down. The wind is strong, branches are blowing across the yard. Jake calls. Lupe ignores call and tosses everyone’s phones outside. Everyone has burner phones. Very difficult to hear each other outside. They have to yell to be heard.

Turning point: Lupe and family leave at the last possible moment.

Act 5: Lupe in hotel with kids and Dolores. Everyone has changed their appearance. Folders with their new identities are on the bed. Jake comes home. To an empty house. His family is out of state in a posh hotel.

Turning point: Jake shares pic of Lupe with media to find her.

Lock in/Turning Point: Photo of Lupe on TV. Jake robbed and framed for child porn by his wife. The next day Jake being questioned by cops for possession of child porn.

New Open Loops and Mysteries: Is Jake unhappy in the marriage? Why is he so insistent on going? Why is he so dismissive of Lupe? Will the tropical storm turn into a hurricane? Will the hurricane be as bad as they say? Will the family survive? Why are they stealing from Jake? What is Marco doing to Jake’s computer? Why is Dolores so calm?

Effect of these new open loops and mysteries on interest level of pilot: They created a more interesting pilot with more dramatic tension and intrigue.