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Day 7 Assignments
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Cameron Martin’s Final Page!
What I learned doing this assignment is…Getting that last page to pack a punch is so much more important than I gave it credit for, and I thought I was giving it considerable credit before. I looked at the endings for PLANET OF THE APES or THE LAST OF US and thought of those as exceptions more than norms. But in going through this assignment, I realized a lot more stories stick their landings with that final page: FERRIS BUELER’S DAY OFF, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON, ALIENS, SOUL, THE MATRIX, not to mention the plethora of examples included in the assignment itself. Going forward, I’ll be sure to keep this mind to make sure that last page hits the hardest in the entire script.
A. The Setup / Payoff final page.
The key here is emotional payoffs, not just logic ones. One emotional payoff that can fit into a final page is Isaiah willing to be held by his father. Throughout the film, Isaiah is resistant to being held. As a kid with Asperger’s this has always been the case, even when he was an infant. So Isaiah being held would mean something, so long as the age is young enough. However, as I continue to develop this story and what Isaiah is capable of doing, the older Sully’s son gets. He started off being very young, to 8-10 years old, to now pushing closer between 12-14 years old. A teen being held by their parent may not be as believable or emotionally poignant as a child. So, I need a couple of other payoffs in case the act of holding a child doesn’t resonate. Another option is referencing an earlier line Sully says to Isaiah “I don’t know how to fix you.” Isaiah could bring this up again in earnest, thanking his dad for fixing him, to which Sully could respond with something like “I couldn’t have saved you if I had” or some other reference to this line, similar to HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON’s ending. Another set up has to do with Isaiah’s mom and the home which they’re leaving. Even though the ending is more of a setup with the father and son duo departing on an escape ship after being requested to oust the Hegemony, the story can at least conclude and pay off the tension surrounding the loss of the mother. Saying goodby to the planet can also be alluded to saying goodby to the mother, or an emotional confirmation of her spirit being with them. I can tinker a bit with these options, but they do provide a more emotionally driven conclusion than what may otherwise feel like an emotionless cliffhanger.
B. The Contrast final page.
Uhhhhh. Okay. I haven’t really had any intention of the character of Markus joining Sully and Isaiah, but what if he did? This may require some additional setup to sell this ending, but it could start out positive with Markus seemingly liberating Sully and Isaiah from the Hegemony, only to turn around and hold them to his cause for vengeance against the entity that stole his soul. Sully and Isaiah go from being off the hook and on their way to safety, to being conscripted, just like Markus was, in igniting an interplanetary revolution. The theme of control versus cooperation still remains intact, while selling the premise in new way.
C. The Climax/Resolution final page.
I think this is pretty much the standard ending I had in mind. I thought of ending this story like a car flying off a cliff and still flooring the accelerator in mid air. For the most part, a lot of the loose ends are tied up: Isaiah’s cured, the relationship is fixed, the conscripted exterminators become protectors, and the last page is Sully and Isaiah flying out into space, a reverse of the opening image of starting out in space and closing in on the planetary colony. As for keeping a lead foot the accelerator, even when there’s no road, that would be the only setup that isn’t paid off in Markus’ request that Sully and Isaiah spread the knowledge Jude consolidated to the rest of the Hegemony wolds.
D. The “Something good is going to come out of this mess” final page.
*Head in hands again, brainstorming how in the hell to make this ending work for a story that’s about as grim dark as you’ll get without calling it Warhammer 40K* I’ve already brought up the fact that the central antagonism is founded in Sully and Isaiah’s troubled relationship, stemming from the death of Sully’s wife (huh, I still don’t have a name for her…). Similar to the SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE example, the “Something good is going to come out of this mess” ending should be tied to a character’s internal conflict. I would go with a romantic ending, just like SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE and other Ironic Ending Rom-Coms, but that wouldn’t fit the tone of this story. I’d also like to establish something visual, affirmative. It can’t just be the promise of Sully and Isaiah having a healthy and mutually understanding relationship established in earlier pages. Going with metaphor, I could set up a picture of Sully’s wife that he keeps with him and refers to at multiple points. He can ask the image of his wife for advice, wish for her to come back, lament that he’s lost without her, which would be an excellent contrast to the confident, sure and controlling version of Sully we see whenever he’s in front of others. This can set up an emotional moment where Sully gives Isaiah the picture of his mom to hold onto. Isaiah could later lose the picture, and when he apologizes for losing it on the last page, Sully can comfort him and reassure that he didn’t lose her, but that she’ll always be a part of him. It’s another angle of Sully asking his son for help, and further establishes a father/son partnership, rather than a pure superior/subordinate relationship.
E. The “One last gesture” final page.
Okay, the last ending was basically this one in some respects. The other direction I can go in is Sully giving Isaiah the picture of his mom on the last page. It’s the same setups but a slightly different payoff, and a recognition that Sully isn’t looking over his shoulder anymore, waiting for his wife to join him. He’s confident, self assured, and is giving his son the person he misses the most. It’s also a symbolic passing of the torch. Sully has been someone hiding the death of Isaiah’s mother from himself as much as Isaiah. By handing the picture over, it’s a sign that Sully has finally been able to move on, and has filled the shoes Isaiah needs the most, both literally and figuratively giving his son an aspect of the understanding mother he’s been missing.
F. The Shock final page
Everybody dies. Nah, too easy. Sully and Isaiah are immediately captured and separated by the Hegemony? Meh. Sully fails to save Isaiah and he’s forced to kill his own son, and then he kills himself, unable to take the horror of it all? There’s a reason I haven’t watched THE MIST more than once. Not interested in watching that ending again, let alone writing it. I think what makes THELMA AND LOUISE work is that it’s still consistent with what the story’s trying to say: unfortunate people in an unfortunate situation forced to take unfortunate actions and a black and white justice system that refuses to observe the context, only focussed on the illegal action and punishing those responsible for committing it. I mean, for everything I’ve already said before, a shock ending may be as simple as Sully not joining Isaiah. He’s put into a position of where he can’t save himself and Isaiah. He’s been tested this entire movie, finding a way out every step of the way, taking more and more extreme measures to keep his son safe. This would be the final act where he can’t save both, and so sends his son away on an escape ship with Jude’s documents, and Sully hangs back to cover his son’s escape and dies.
Scene Chosen:
“The Shock” ending reminds me of THE LAST OF US. I like it, but it might hit too hard. Again, I want to hold the relationship front and center, and have this gritty, violent, fast-paced horror-action story be about mending that relationship. I think that that’ll make for a more compelling story and a more marketable one. I’m aiming for the box office, not an Oscar. With that in mind, I’ll go with the “Something good will come out of this” ending. It’s more optimistic, fulfills the question brought up in the plot, and more of the audience may appreciate it. Just like THE MATRIX and ALITA: BATTLE ANGEL, it leads to a satisfying conclusion, even with a greater force of evil still existing out there. The plot of both of those films revolved around self discovery, which both characters pretty much achieved. Neither story was really about bringing down the dark empire. I can do the same thing for this story, just instead of self discovery or enlightenment, it’s about the rediscovery of a lost relationship.
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INT. ESCAPE SHIP – COCKPIT – MORNING
Strapped into their seats, Sully and Isaiah watch the orange blaze of dawn evaporate into the black, starry heavens.
The G’s settle, and as the artificial gravity kicks in, Sully unbuckles…
CRYOSLEEP CHAMBER
And rests Isaiah down into a mechanized coffin.
He brushes his son’s matted hair.
Isaiah raises his hand, taking Sully’s.
ISAIAH
I lost it.
SULLY
Lost what?
ISAIAH
I lost the picture you gave me. I lost Mom.
Sully takes a deep breath, seeing the well of remorse building up in his son.
SULLY
It was just a picture.
ISAIAH
But—
SULLY
I know. It hurts. Just remember, you only lost a picture. You’re never going to lose mom. ‘Cause…
(brushing Isaiah’s head)
She’s here…
(pointing to Isaiah’s heart)
And here…
(holding Isaiah’s hand)
And she’s with me too.
Isaiah gets up and hugs his dad. Sully, shocked at first as Isaiah’s not the hugging type, holds the most important person in his life in his arms.
LATER
With the paper documents and Jude’s recordings laying dormant on the floor, Sully and Isaiah rest in their respective tombs…for now…
EXT. SPACE
As the escape ship sails through the celestial cosmos.
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DAY 7 – Final Pages with Impact
Lisa’s Final Page!
What I learned is trying out endings can validate the one you’ve chosen or find you a better ending.
A. The Setup / Payoff final page.
Setup: Mary has the dream of leaving town and is planning to sell her house and move after the IAWL festival, as we hear in the opening V.O. and later in an ice-skating scene with her best friend, Annie. In the same scene, Mary says her mom used to say, “It’s just as easy to marry a rich man, as a poor man.” <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Payoff: Joseph proposed to Mary one last time on Christmas Day. Cut to “one year later” and Mary has a new townhouse in Albany. And she has moved on as she wanted.
Setup: Peter has PTSD and is about to lose his snowmobile shop. He has a plan to get Santa to go down the chimneys and steal the presents for him or else he will expose him to the world. He just wants his livelihood and family back. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Payoff: Mary dresses as Santa and thwarts Peter’s plans but appears to get shot causing Peter to surrender. The town pays Peter’s mortgage and saves his shop. He learns from Santa and becomes more at peace.
Setup: Mary & Peter are still connected by their daughters, and we see this in a couple of scenes including the nativity scene near the end of the script. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Payoff: Mary & Peter could wind up together and live happily ever after in her old Victorian with their daughters? We don’t know until the final scene.
Setup: Joseph wants to settle down with Mary and keeps proposing. He says he won’t give up. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Payoff: Joseph proposes one last time. Will Mary say yes, finally? We don’t’ know until the last scene.
Setup: Santa has been kidnapped by Peter whom he has a history with from NORAD. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Payoff: Santa tries to impart wisdom to Peter and help him have a rosier outlook on life. Peter discovers at the end that Santa could have left anytime he wanted. Peter wasn’t keeping him against his will. Santa’s kindness changes Peter.
Setup: Dash and Donna, NORAD agents are after Peter and Santa. Throughout Donna expresses that she loves Christmas. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Payoff: Santa insists they let Peter go and Donna as the senior office complies because she loves Santa too!
B. The Contrast final page.
For the last time, he proposes to her on the porch. Freeze on Mary’s face before she answers. Next, “one year later”. We are in Mary’s kitchen once again decked out with Christmas treats. We see Uncle Billy, the dog and follow him out of the kitchen into the living room. Janie and Ruthie are there shaking presents under the tree. Mary comes into the room from the dining room and calls upstairs. “Come on, we’re going to open presents!” Who comes down the stairs? It is a completely new man that we haven’t seen before!
C. The Climax/Resolution final page.
(This is where I am now) The IAWL festival was a success. The town gave Peter the festival money to pay his mortgage off. Everyone is at Mary’s old Victorian house on Christmas Day. Janie and Ruthie are playing with toys. Peter and Tilly are drinking and talking. Harry is there with a younger lady, flirting. Annie and Ernie are noodling. All seem happy. Joseph pulls Mary outside and wraps a coat around her. For the last time, he proposes to her on the porch. Freeze on Mary’s face before she answers. Next, “one year later”. We are in Mary’s kitchen once again decked out with Christmas treats. We see Uncle Billy, the dog and follow him out of the kitchen into the living room. Janie and Ruthie are there shaking presents under the tree. Mary comes into the room from the dining room and calls upstairs. “Come on, we’re going to open presents!” Who comes down the stairs? It’s a surprise!
D. The “Something good is going to come out of this mess” final page.
There is a wedding, but we don’t see who it is. Annie and Ernie come out of the church. Peter is with Tilly. The whole town is there. Mary and Joseph go to a nearby car where Janie and Ruthie are in the back seat. Mary and Joseph drive off with a trailer attached to the back. They are off to Albany. Mary gets her dream of living in a new place and love.
E. The “One last gesture” final page.
Joseph proposes one last time. Freeze frame on Mary. We don’t’ know her answer. New scene: We are in Mary’s kitchen once again decked out with Christmas treats. We see Uncle Billy, the dog and follow him out of the kitchen into the living room. Janie and Ruthie are there shaking presents under the tree. Mary comes into the room from the dining room and calls upstairs. “Come on, we’re going to open presents!” Who comes down the stairs? It’s Joseph.
F. The Shock final page
Mary has moved to a townhouse in Albany with her daughters. Then we see Peter arriving at the townhouse to pick up Janie and Ruthie who are young ladies now. Peter and the daughters arrive at a cemetery. It’s Mary’s funeral. The minister begins the graveside service. Mary’s family members are there. Harry, her father in a wheelchair, Violet and Tilly, her sisters, and Joseph. Mary V.O. explains that she died of cancer but had no regrets.
PICKED C: Final Scene “Mary’s Wonderful Christmas”
INT-MARY’S HOUSE-CHRISTMAS DAY
Janie and Ruthie are playing with toys near the tree. Peter and Tilly are standing in the dining room drinking and talking. Harry is sitting on the couch with Miss Davis, drinking and flirting. Annie and Ernie are noodling in a large armchair. All seem happy. Old timey Christmas music is playing.
Joseph takes Mary’s drink out of her hand and places it with his on a side table. He pulls Mary outside, putting on his coat and wraps her in a coat. He takes her to the car and puts her in it.
EXT-GEORGE BAILEY BRIDGE-CHRISTMAS DAY
The town is quiet. The snow is falling. Joseph parks at the beginning of the bridge. He gets out of the car and runs around to help Mary out. He holds her hand as they go to the center of the bridge and look down at the frosty river.
JOSEPH
Mary, you did it! The festival was a huge success. It was very kind of you to rally everyone to save Peter’s shop. It’s important for the town. And for you and the girls. I hope that you have seen how devoted I’ve been to you and the girls. I can offer you things, but I know that you’re not interested in things. What I want to give you is me.
Joseph reaches in his pocket and pulls out the little blue Tiffany’s box he had earlier. Mary stares at him but doesn’t say a word.
JOSEPH
You know I love you. I’ve told you a million times. Please Mary, for the last time, will you marry me?
Mary looks at Joseph. She looks at the frozen river. The camera freezes on Mary’s face.
FADE OUT
FADE UP
On screen: “One Year Later”.
We are in Mary’s kitchen once again decked out with Christmas treats, like the regional grape pie. We see Uncle Billy getting a drink of water. Then he runs and we follow him out of the kitchen into the living room. Janie and Ruthie are there in pajamas shaking and counting the presents under the tree. Mary comes into the room from the dining room and sets a Peppermint Pig on the coffee table. It’s a Wonderful Life is on the tv.
MARY
(Calling upstairs)
Come on, we’re going to open presents now!
Joseph mimics flying down the stairs.
JOSEPH
Watch out I’ve got my wings!
He kisses Mary and grabs a spot on the couch. Mary smiles and joins him. It’s the end of It’s a Wonderful Life on the tv and we hear Auld Lang Syne being sung. We pull out of Mary’s house and view the street lined with old Victorians in the snow. Fly over downtown dressed up for Christmas and the George Bailey bridge.
THE END
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PS81 – Dana’s Final Page!
What I learned Doing This Assignment
I need to resolve the final page at the beginning of my outline to understand the direction of my script. Knowing the climax and the final page allows me to determine how to create and where to place my setups for a satisfying ending.
Final Pages –
A. The Setup / Payoff final page
Through the script, the setups for the final conflict have dual meanings. They apply equally to Jason being the antagonist as well as Ryan being a separate person. Walking the crime scene, Sorensen gets suspicious of the latter, but he’s told to let it go. Back at his desk, he receives a call from a psychiatrist who tells him that Jason was held for observation at his clinic under a different name and could not have committed the crime. After a database search, Sorenson finds multiple photos of Jason listed by different personality names. He realizes Jason didn’t act alone, that the Ryan personality was a real person, as the setup clues play in voiceover. He sits stunned at his desk with the psychiatrist calling to Sorensen over the phone, again and again and again…
B. The Contrast final page
Time has passed, and Ellen has returned to private practice. She is in session with a young boy recovering from a past trauma, much like her own. She walks the boy into the recovery room where his mother is waiting. When Ellen returns to her office, she receives a call from Unknown Caller. It’s Ryan, the psychotic personality, who says, “Hello, Dr. Ellen. Remember me? I’m your long-time listener. And your first-time caller.” Cut to black.C. The Climax / Resolution final page
Sorensen ushers Ellen from the radio station amidst a flurry of reporter questions and popping camera strobes. He protects her from the mop of reporters and gets her to the waiting police car. Before the climbs in, she turns, puts a hand to his face where she slapped him earlier. She tells him she’s sorry, then thanks him for helping save her daughters. “I couldn’t have done it without you.” She is then driven away, leaving Sorensen standing amid reporters, tears start to drop. Fade out.
D. The “Something good is going to come out of this mess” final page.
Following the traumatic opening, Ellen has chosen a new career in radio to hide, too fearful to go back to private practice. This is setup through the script by Peter, the station manager, her producer, Claire, and by Ryan during their confrontation. After Sorensen walks Ellen to the police car to be driven to her daughters, fade to black. We fade in to see Ellen in her new office. She’s returned to private practice where she belongs. She works at her desk for a moment and then welcomes her next patient – a young boy suffering from a trauma. They sit down across from each other, and they begin the session. Fade out.E. The “One Last Gesture” final page
While tormenting Ellen, Ryan discloses his involvement in the murder of Sorensen’s wife and hints that someone else was wrongfully convicted for the crime. After Ryan is killed, Sorensen stands at the headstone of his murdered wife and lays flowers on her grave. He says goodbye and puts her memory to rest, her killer finally caught, and walks away.F. The Shock final page
Following the crime scene wrap up, Sorensen gets a call from a psychiatrist who tells him that Jason, the antagonist, was being held for observation at his clinic under a different name. After a quick database search, Sorensen realizes Jason didn’t act alone, that the Ryan personality was a real person. Over the San Francisco cityscape, a morning radio talk show is discussing the crime and taking quick calls. The last call is Ryan, the psychotic personality, who tells the host, “I’m a long-time listener. And a first-time caller.”
CHOSEN SCENE: SHOCK
FADE IN:
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO – AERIAL SHOT – MORNING
It’s crisp and clean and bright. Traffic is flowing.
RADIO HOST (V.O.)
— You’re listening to the Brian Osborn Show. And we are one week and counting, and my callers are still talking about Ellen Landry. So, let’s get right to the phones.
We’ve got Maureen from Brisbane on the line. Hello, Maureen. You’re on with Brian.
WOMAN (V.O.)
Hello, Brian. This is Maureen. What Dr. Ellen did was wrong. This was her patient. He needed help. And she pushes him to commit suicide? I mean, didn’t she swear an oath or something? I admit these were unusual circumstances, but she could have waited for the police to negotiate with this man.
RADIO HOST (V.O.)
Well, okay. Thanks for the call, Maureen. But you gotta know, you’re swimming against the tide. Most people are in the pro Ellen camp on this. But I appreciate your call. Let’s go to Jimmy across the bay in Oakland. Hello, Jimmy.
MAN’S VOICE (V.O.)
Hay, Brian. This is Jimmy. That Maureen’s full of crap! What if this was her family? I mean, what else was Dr. Ellen supposed to do? Let that SOB kill her kids? He already shot her husband. And to get him to blow his brains out, that’s lady’s got balls. And when her show comes back, I’m going to call and tell her that.
RADIO HOST (V.O.)
Thanks, Jimmy. And I’m sure Ellen appreciates your supports. But you may have to wait awhile for her show to return. Ellen is on hiatus while she and her family recover. Let’s take one more call. We’ve got Steve in Pacifica. Hello, Steve. You’re on with Brian Osborn.
Beat.
RYAN (V.O.)
Good morning, Brian. This is Steve. Love your show.
(beat)
I’m a longtime listener. And a first-time caller.
FADE OUT:
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June Fortunato’s (ideas for) final page. Day 7 of endings
What I learned. I tried again. I gave writing out of order another shot. This NEVER works. It becomes an exercise in how to write, in one page, the most contrived hogwash possible. I will not post it. It’s digitally obliterated.
The payoffs for my script will happen over a series of pages and scenes- not all lumped up into one wrap it up page which is exactly what this assignment requires- despite the lesson stating to avoid it.
Below are the lists and ideas I had while reviewing this lesson. As I write the final pages, I’ll take them into account.
A. The Setup / Payoff final page.
Opening set up: Roy is left out in the cold in the first page. He’s silly and romantic and a goofball. Payoff is that he is asked to enter and stay.
Other payoffs: Roy gets his girl. Kim gets her house. Marilyn gets to go home. The dogs get to stay with Roy and Kim. Brian in custody. Ingrid also. Suzy and Denny are together.
B. The Contrast final page. Roy accepts Kim’s proposal of forever. He’s never been more serious in his life. Also, he was anxious on the first page. On the last, calm and right.
In one scene:
Kim is ushered into a limo by her brother and Ingrid. She will be taken to Belmont. When police show up and block the car. Detectives, ask them to get out of the car. Roy is with them, as are Denny and Suzy. And Oren, who’s turned coat. The ones getting restrained are not Kim but the opponents.
C. The Climax/Resolution final page.
Kim and Roy don’t have to run anymore, except going for a run with the dogs. Kim is quite the new-age artist. She grows things, she cans things, she makes things, she plays music. They have salons.
Climax/resolution
Same as contrast final page.
D. The “Something good is going to come out of this mess” final page.
The good is – that Brian sees the light about Ingrid, and the blowout is that he admits his extreme resentment that Kim and Mom were so close, and that he was left out. Kim says she knew that, and that’s why she allowed him to have his space, but enough is enough. And he says, (payoff) I’m an idiot.
E. The “One last gesture” final page. Ingrid declares that she’s filed for divorce papers. Brian has changed the deed. Now it has Kim’s name on it.
F. The Shock final page Kim is rich? Roy isn’t Roy? Brian was institutionalized as a kid?
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Anna Harper’s Final Page Day 7
ONE LAST GESTURE
NT.LARGE FARMHOUSE KITCHEN/EVENING
ONE MONTH LATER
The boy who overdosed survived and is coming to the farm to finish recovering. Colin and Sophie are feeling the strain, they have an emergency meeting with the boys and opt to turn the farm over to the boys, turning it into a co-op farm, with a couple of hired hands snd addiction counselors helping out. Colin and Sophie are leaving to consider their future and take an indefinite vacation.
The boys express regret, they acknowledge they have been challenging, though they love the place and are having a good time, it feels like a real home.
They talk about the shock effect of the overdose and vow to stay on the straight and narrow. and secretly comment on enjoying the prospect of agency and more freedom.
Chris vows to take the new kid under his wing. The other boys agree to fully co-operate and play their part. Pirate is told his new job is to shadow the new boy and sleep by his side.
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V.O, Pirate
He won’t be able to resist my superpowers. He is going to experience dog healing! I hope I get extra biscuits Maybe I should try Alfie’s trick and blow him away with telepathic communication. That should get his attention.
EXT. CANAL BANK/SUNNY DAY
Sophie and Colin walk along the canal bank
The location is a tree-lined canal with a Dutch barge waiting. for Colin and Sophie. It is decorated gypsy style.
EXT. TRAIN STATION/DAY
Dylan and Alfie head back on the train to Lyme Regis village. Alfie tells Dylan he wants to complete his search for the last of his littermates, Cocoa.
MONTAGE
EXT.FARM/DAY
Boys attempting to ride horses
Boys feeding the chickens, finding eggs
Rambunctious wheelbarrow races,
Boys cooking burning the dinner,
Music practice in the barn, no Colin to teach them, frustration.
Unhappy boys cleaning the toilets
Pigs run off down the road,
EXT.FARMHOUSE/NIGHT
Pirate catches the boys trying to climb out of the window at night,
and chases them back
EXT.TOWN STREET/NIGHT
A young person sleeping on the town street passed out, it’s raining, he is under a shop doorway with his legs protruding into the rain. He is oblivious, people walk by. Street musicians stop singing and leave the scene. People leave the supermarket with bags of groceries.
EXT.BARGE DECK/SUNNY DAY
Sophie and Colin are chilling on the beautiful boat deck, chugging along the canal waterway, and drinking martinis. She looks at Colin and BEAT
SOPHIE
I can’t stand it any longer, it’s been a month. I just have to have a quick call and see if they haven’t burned the place down yet. Picks up her cell phone.
COLIN
Oh no! Here we go again. I’m right here babe, whatever you decide.
INT.DYLAN’S COTTAGE LYME REGIS/NIGHT
Alfie and Dylan are looking at the computer.
DYLAN
I’ve found Cocoa.
CREDITS
EXT.BEACH NEXT TO FARM/DAY
The boys and Pirate are playing on the beach
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PS81 Day 7 (Writing Great Endings) Anita’s Final Page!
What I learned: I think this entire module would have been the most helpful (for me) if presented when we worked out our outlines. Some of the “asks” in this assignment would mean an entire rewrite of my script. Obviously, I won’t be taking the time to configure 6 different full story-lines. But I took a crack at this assignment in a kind of short-hand approach, as noted below. It was a good brainstorming session, but I had already written my final page, and did not choose a different approach. So what I learned was some new labels for various endings.
1. Take a look at your final pages and write up a paragraph showing how each of these could possibly work for your story.
A. The Setup / Payoff final page.
There are several payoffs in my final scene. First, Danica was introduced to us in a hospital room where she nearly died giving birth Harley. Here she is given a second chance at life with a new kidney. Second, the only thing she gives Harley before abandoning her at infancy was her father’s name. But it was her father’s nickname, given because he loved his bike, but also unfortunately he and Danica’s mom died while riding his Harley. (Irony) Then – Danica has idealized for 20 years that her daughter would be wonderful – but here she’s faced with the reality that her daughter is a psychopath who has killed Cyrus. The final twist: Harley orchestrated Danica receiving Cyrus’ kidney (and we know Danica hates Cyrus – but now he is literally a part of her). The ultimate payoff with Harley after several scenes of her indifferent cruelty is this – her final act of murder.
B. The Contrast final page.
In several ways my scene starts out hopefully before sliding into despair.
1) Danica awakens to discover she had gotten her lifesaving kidney transplant; only to find it is from Cyrus, who has been killed.
2) Danica meets her daughter Harley after 20 years; only to realize her daughter is a master manipulator and a murderer.
C. The Climax/Resolution final page.
Hmmm. Not sure how to wrangle this one for my particular story structure – which spins out a kind of breadcrumb trail for my trio of characters along the way. I suppose their respective resolutions is they all seem to get what they deserve?
D. The “Something good is going to come out of this mess” final page.
The only good thing to come of these 3 messy lives is that Danica gets a new kidney. That said – it’s a tainted win, a tragedy really, because the kidney is from Cyrus, and at the hand of twisted daughter Harley. I could should to end this with the kidney NOT coming from Cyrus, and it NOT being Harley who killed him / orchestrated the transplant. But that feels sappy and trite to me, and not true to the story as written. But as I noodle on this, there might be a way for me to have a double twist here – that maybe Cyrus didn’t die and it isn’t his kidney that now resides in Danica, and he walks in on crutches with the police come in to haul Harley away (?) Probably more satisfying – but not sure if it “plays” ….
E. The “One last gesture” final page.
I really love the example given in this assignment from LIFE AS A HOUSE. But how to apply this option to my own story has me completely stumped. I can’t have Harley make the grand gesture of giving her mom a kidney, because she too was only born with one (a setup that is the driving impetus for Harley’s genetic research career and subsequent discovery of her mother’s identity and health crisis) So I move on –
F. The Shock final page.
This was my intent all along. That Harley commits the unspeakable act of killing her biological father and orchestrating that her mother be given his kidney. Here it is:
What I chose is a combination of “Payoffs” and “Shock”
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DUSK
Eyes groggily open. The hospital room looks eerily similar to the opening scene – especially through the gloomy dusk and hazy lens of post-op drugs.
A TV news anchor is nattering in the background.
Wincing in pain, it is Danica who hobbles out of bed, and with weak and wobbly arms drags her I.V. pole limping toward to a mirror.
Gingerly lifting her hospital gown she discovers a large bandage over her lower right abdomen. She warily peels back the white gauze to reveal a long red angry trail of stitches.
Danica’s deeply confused. Is this the kidney transplant she was praying for?
Harley walks in, smiling, fresh as a daisy.
Danica is stunned silent. This is obviously her daughter, as they practically look like sisters.
Danica sways, wonders what kind of drugs she’s on. She turns back to her mirrored image – then to Harley – yep, there’s really two of them in the room.
Harley nonchalantly picks up the TV remote and raises the volume.
TV ANCHOR
.. the tragic death of Circuit Appeals Court Judge Cyrus Kilner at his home early this morning. Police say their only lead is a silver sedan seen driving on the street. If anyone has more information –
Harley clicks the report off.
She turns to her mother, a sublime grin on her face.
HARLEY
Well, at least he did one thing right in his life – he was signed up as an organ donor.
Danica’s knees give out and she slides into a chair like jello.
HARLEY (CONT’D)
Maybe his nickname should have been Ford – you know, like Grandpa Edgar was called Harley, and that’s what killed ‘em.
Danica goes from pale to ashen, eyes wide on the stranger before her.
HARLEY (CONT’D)
What? Too soon?
Harley rings out a strange bright laugh at her own twisted joke.
FADE TO BLACK.
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KATE’S FINAL PAGE
What I learned doing this assignment is it is super fun to think a variety of endings, that fit the characters as they are, and see how it and where I can make it relate to the rest of the story. It enriches the details and arc of the story enormously
A. THE SETUP / PAYOFF FINAL PAGE.
To do this I would go back and create set ups to make these payoffs:
IN THE CLIMAX
• The play showing Darrogh how he was duped
– would use the very words/things he had said to the ‘businessmen’ who were the con-artists…
– The song ‘He had it coming’ (sung in the play) has been set up as from his favorite movie.
– the adapted ‘Lear’ scene would include some of the things he has said to Nia
• The finale scene when Nia plays Desdemona being murdered dressed as her Mother – will also have been set up earlier with regard to Nia’s Mother’s feelings about the play
IN THE RESOLUTION
• Nia’s last visit with her Father
– Mirror the first meeting between them in that same room
– references to some of the things he said about her/to her which are now quite opposite.
she has become who he said she never would. He is proud of her at last but she chooses to leave.
B. THE CONTRAST FINAL PAGE.
given the climax, this isn’t possible here..
C. THE CLIMAX/RESOLUTION FINAL PAGE.
There is a final small climax/resolution – the last private meeting between Nia and her Father. If she was about to get on the bus then he appeared, to plead with her to stay, and had to meet her in the field in which she first arrived, that he just had to give back, and she still says No- that could work.
D. THE “SOMETHING GOOD IS GOING TO COME OUT OF THIS MESS” FINAL PAGE.
This doesn’t end with a down ending…unless it is that she doesn’t get her Goal however she gets her need and a Boyfriend!
E. THE “ONE LAST GESTURE” FINAL PAGE.
The one last action is the letter that Luciana gives Nia to read in the bus, when she says she’ll take care of Darrogh and not to worry about him – but go and be free.
F. THE SHOCK FINAL PAGE
Darrogh commits suicide. After Nia leaves and while she is reading the letter from Luciana on the bus, we see Luciana go to the house and find Darrogh dead, a note expressing his guilt and grief. Then back to the bus – a very hi aerial shot of the Bus leaving the town and Luciana siting on the steps with Darrogh’s body.
2. Choose your favorite and write the final page.
If I had time I think I’d write the Set Up/Pay Off last scene between Nia and her Dad – a kind of last personal ‘between just them’ climax – then cap it with the Shock ending as Nia leaves on the Bus. (She doesn’t know it has happened.)
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Day 7 – Final Pages with Impact – Assignment
Mike O – Final Page
What I learned doing this is… that combining several of these structures worked wonders for me! I had a wonderful break through combining the “SetupPayoff” and the “Contrast final page” made the script’s ending which was really strong to begin with a whole lot better! Thank you, Hal.
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[I] Take a look at your final pages and write up a paragraph showing how each of these could possibly work for your story.
A. The Setup / Payoff final page – The Ping-pong Ball that Brooklyn picks up off the floor in the start of the movie. It’s been forgotten, something her cat chewed on before running off. It is alone, scarred. Brooklyn feels it represents her life. On the final page, we see Brooklyn give the ping-pong ball, which she has turned into an ornament, to Tyler (love interests’s 7 year old son) to hang on her Christmas tree. He examines it. On one side Brooklyn has painted a Christmas tree, on the other side, a Snow Man. Tyler hangs it on the tree. ZOOM in on the ping-pong ball ornament as Frosty, The Snowman WINKS at us.
B. The Contrast final page – Christmas morning, the love interest and his two small sons show up on Brooklyn’s door. She is excited, hopeful. (Remember, in the hospital the day before, Brooklyn told him to spend Christmas eve with Beth (his old girl friend) and then to come to her place on Christmas morning to let him know who he plans to move forward with, and who he plans to just be friends with. Brooklyn lets them in, Tarek and the boys stand there in their coats, it looks as if they’ve come to say goodbye and are not staying. Then, as if on cue, Tarek and his sons, whips off their winter coats revealing goofy Christmas sweaters and holler, “Surprise!” Note: Brooklyn is really into goofy, over-the-top Christmas sweaters. Tyler hands Brooklyn a poorly wrapped present and says, “This one’s for you. Remember you said, “A Christmas sweater makes all things better.” BRANDON (adds) “I picked it out.” Brooklyn opens the gift, holds up a brightly colored Sweater. On the front, Frosty the Snow Man, all decked out. Giving us a WINK. THIS SCENE TIES IN with the final set-up and pay off perfectly!!!
C. The Climax/Resolution final page – Brooklyn’s confrontation with Richard at the restaurant where she first met him for dinner, ends with her showing him photographs of Richard stealing paintings, and torching the place. We have the sheriff standing behind Richard, we have Carolyn walk in and sit with Brooklyn at the table then when the sheriff puts the handcuffs on Richard and walks him out, we have Tarek walk in. He goes over and kisses Brooklyn, then drops to one knee and proposes to her. We have Carolyn standing nearby. After Brooklyn says “yes,yes of course I will.” Carolyn claps and says in a jolly voice, “Love finds a way. It always does.” (This comment harkens back to her comment to Brooklyn at the start of the script).
D. The “Something good is going to come out of this mess” final page – Tarek tells Brooklyn on Christmas morning standing in her kitchen TAREK “Last night’s pot roast turned out to be pork. Presentation was first rate, it fell off the bone. In a word, tempting. But I’m a man who loves his sweets.” BROOKLYN “Oh, are you now. And just what succulent something do you have in mind?” TAREK “Packed a lot of fudge. But, at this moment (he pulls out two candy canes) these should go perfectly with the morning’s hot cocoa.” Brooklyn throws her arms around his neck and whispers, “I might’ve lost the gallery and my father’s legacy, but you being here; something wonderful came out of this mess that’s been my life of late.”
E. The “One last gesture” final page – Brooklyn takes the shoe box filled with all her father’s letters to her that were sent back to him by her spiteful mother and buries them next to his grave. Brooklyn tells her dad, “I have you here (hand over her heart) I don’t need any reminders. I have you with me at all times.”
F. The Shock final page — Have Ruby walk into Alan office (the town’s attorney) and present him with a legitimate deed to the Babbling Brook Gallery. Show him reading over the document, looking up and telling Ruby, “I will let Brooklyn know.” RUBY “I contemplating tearing the deed up. I really did. In speaking with Mr. Canaday (white-haired gent who tore into Brooklyn when she went to the restaurant to meet with Richard) he pointed out the fact that Joshua and I had a life, a love and that the gallery is his legacy to me.” ALAN “Now that it’s been burned to the ground, I don’t think she will put up a fight. I have it on good authority, she doesn’t need the insurance money.”
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[II] Choose your favorite and write the final page. Submit that to the group along with your answers to question 1 and 3.
My favorite is the combination of the “SetupPayoff” and the “Contrast final page”
EXT/INT. CABIN – CHRISTMAS MORNING
ZOOM in on the ping-pong ball ornament. HOLD ON Frosty, the snowman as he WINKS at us.
The screen turns to a million snowflakes as end-of-show credits roll.
THE END.
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Matthew Frendo’s final page!
WHAT I LEARNED: I learned how important a final page is and how to make a memorable one. This skill will make future scripts more emotional and a lasting experience for the audience.
A. The Setup / Payoff final page.
Set up why she hid the fact that she had a son, what she sacrificed for him, how much she loves him…and how he doesn’t know it because of her hiding him. She has to get out so her son knows she does. At end, have her get out and tell him.
B. The Contrast final page.
The survivors finish the hunt. They are celebrating and laughing, when one of the beasts comes to life again, killing Alicia out o nowhere, then rearing up to attack the others.
C. The Climax/Resolution final page. (THIS IS THE ONE I CHOSE)
The climax ends with the Host being in the hunt himself and getting killed. Right after that, we cut to Alicia and the other survivors, still blood drenched, fast asleep while watching the show. Kristen falls over.
D. The “Something good is going to come out of this mess” final page.
Alicia dies during final battle, But Kristen and Josh make it out. When they do, they take Alicia’s son on as an adopted kid and the three form their own family.
E. The “One last gesture” final page.
Alicia dies in final battle, The players who survive get out and give her son the necklaces she made for him and give him the money they just won to start fresh.
F. The Shock final page
After the survivors get out, one of them reveals that they are part of a terrorist group who want to change the system and they blow everything up. (NOTE: I would have to go back and setup the terrorist group angle more to do this one)
EXT. ABANDONED CIRCUS – DAY
The Host, still in his unkempt suit, trods through the circus grounds near the merry-go-round, bitterness etched into his face.
He stops, and takes a big step back, eyeing the Venus flytrap the way one thief looks at another.
HOST
You ain’t gonna get me, motherfucker.
He leans against a merry-go-round horse and breathes deep. He looks at everything around him with disdain.
HOST
(to himself)
They ain’t gonna kill you here. If that idiot bitch and her gang of obtuse morons can make it, then you can make it. You know these games better than anyone. All you need to do is survive the next–
He looks at his watch. As he does, we see a cannibal clown slowly creep up on his left like a fox stalking its prey.
HOST
(to himself)
–one hour-eleven minutes and you’ll be free. Hell, they’ll probably still make you Minister, the way you play that braindead audience.
We see a zombie clumsily walking up on his right with eyes hungrier than a starving wolf in winter.
HOST
So, in a way, I’ve basically won. This will be a peace of cake. I just–
RRAAHH! The cannibal clown lunges on his left.
BLAAWW! The zombie comes at him from his right.
SHRIIIILLLLL! Right before they both get to him, he blows the same whistle he gave Nick earlier.
Only this time, it works.
Both monsters stop, as if in a daze.
He gets up, whistle in his hand, and starts walking backwards away from them, sneering.
HOST
Told him it works. Stupid kid. Some people are so incompetent–
CRUNCH! PTOOEY! The Venus flytrap quickly bites off half of the Host’s body and flings it to the other side of the circus like a morbid hibachi chef entertaining a crowd.
The flytrap belches, as the lower half of the Host’s body crumples to the ground.
INT. ALICIA’S APARTMENT – DAY
The three players and Tony are all fast asleep, The Hunt on the TV in front of them.
FLUMP!
Kristen, who was sleeping on Josh, falls over onto the floor with a thud.
FADE OUT
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