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Day 7 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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Begin forwarded message:
From: Bill Kellas <billkellas@yahoo.com>
Date: July 30, 2022 at 2:37:52 PM PDT
Subject: Fwd: Sss2. Like the example above, give us a one or two sentence explanation of the emotional moments in each act of your project.
Positive Emotions
SurpriseBondingExcitementCourageSuccess/WinningLove
Negative Emotions
WoundsEmotional DilemmaBetrayalMoral issueHidden weaknessDistressSacrifice
Subject: Trilogy 2 Satans son’s secrets
Beginning this is the set up from smarter than God ,Satans story
Kids Trained in Satans Soviet school for spy’s,assassins and analysts before the fall of USSR. After the fall they escape into Italian earth energy cult called Damanhur at the foot of the Alps.setup
Insighting insident
After Murder at Davos where their father is killed in an assassination plot. Reveal emotional loss of the person who really believed in the kids as all family hugs and trusted their judgement in their performances.
The Family is forced to Flee to America mom married a mafia hit man who turns states evidence so she could get citizenship . He however is never the same as their real father. Loss of relationship.Setup
Family shipped to Monrovia California under witness protection program
Step dad becomes a bookie for sports gambling and works out of Santa Anita Racetrack. Setup
That’s Where he beats a dead beat gambler almost to death who didn’t pay him his gambling debts.reveal emotions lack of safety if they cross him.
Before school Troy is playing 4 timed chess matches at the same time and wins them all . That is until a bad looser tossed the chessboard and try’s to confront him. The sore loser is taken down verbally and then held in check physically.
Troy says I hate mind less bully’s ,gangs and mobs. Setup
Turning point 1
First day at new school Cane is confronted by football players saying unsavory comments about his sister while trying to hit on her.
Cane uses his courage to confront the quarterback a player slips behind Cane so the QB can push Cane over him . However Cane then flips over him and breaks his leg and the QBs arm in the process.reveal
It turns out he broke the receiver’s leg and QB s arm that gets him sent to the principal’s office.setup
However because ~Cane and Troy demolished the QB and star receiver they are in the principal’s office for a unexpected fortuitous meeting. That’s where they first met the man who could change their lives the head coach. It is he who gives them the new real the consequences the ramifications of their actions.
They’re informed that ether they must replace them and learn to play football or face expulsion before the first game.setup
Act 2
They learn to play with help from a neighbor who played for the Rams.setup
Concurrently Molly and Amy write and make songs first for church and then go on to win America has talent which starts a music career for both.setup
Cane becomes Quarterback and Troy receiver as they developed both moves and timing patterns that knowone in high school could defend.
Cane starts relationship with Molly but is seduced by One of the wealthy song girls betrays Molly who says she will never trust him again. He is broken hearted and throws himself into the in crowd and football.
Sooo Amy introduced her to her other introverted brother Troy who has moral character that she an trust. Due to the boy’s football relationship they keep Molly and Troy’s relationship as just friends on the QT.
An undefeated season ensues. Then after overcoming tough competition (rivalry games they show the courage to face and overcome their personal demons as they become coplayers of the year ) By the end of the season they each receive college’s scholarships offers for both athletic and for Troy academic .reveal
However After the joy of celebrating their winning the championship setup ,they discovered that during the festivities their sister was kidnapped and ransom is 5 million dollars.reveal
Turning point 2
Sooo mom and the boys start trying to figure how to make ransom money somehow .setup
Mom a scientist at JPL in Pasadena and Troy a genius developed state of the art quantum computer to solve problems like atomic fusion that could power the grid. Troy’s computer also solved the unfolding of proteins that helped solve many genetic autoimmune diseases both could legally in business make a king’s ransom but step dad wants to use it for crime. Reveal
While DARPA wants JPL to license to them the fusion reactor to power a Cyborg army that normally would be used in warfare.setup
While Troy is hooked to the state of the art quantum computer for problem solving and emulating systems.setup
However Troy wants to use it to designed a plan To raise the money for Amy’s ransom .Their step father overrides them and uses it to run probability programs to shave off points on the game’s to beat the odds and win money. After that he pretends to launder but really invests the cartels drug money in a Ponzi sceme He does this by taking slices off every stock trade investing their funds in the process corners the cripto currencies funding his own brokerage.
After overshooting the 5 million dollar ransom and making the payoff they get their sister back a little worse for the wear.
Stepdad goes on to make and because step dads carelessness dishonesty and greed lose billions when their Ponzi scheme is hacked. setup
However because the cash stops flowing like all Ponzi Scheme do that’s when the chase begins.This now blow’s up and the complaints gets the attention of the federal government SEC-and IRS . The loss of cash flow to the investors the Mexican drug cartel and the mafia. They are now all after them because of their crooked stepdad’s rackets but all for different reasons .
Act 3
Sooo step dad runs . They give an all family hug as they are now also on the run again fleeing their home. Out of nowhere a van hits them damage to the family first causing mom to break her neck.setup &reveal
The Car accident sets up Troy to loose his sight and Cane breaks both his arms and legs trying to stop himself from going through the front windshield. reveal They take Cane off in the van leaving mom and Troy as to damaged. Mom who now is losing consciousness from her decapitated neck she gives Troy her cross which has protected her all her life, then she explained it’s powers and passes out.
Turning point
That’s when The people in the van take Cane. Where they finish the job his mother and brother started. They did this by equiping him with the physical robotics,thermal eyes , a hive connection to a massive quantum computer network through neurological link like Troy was. This augmentation along with armaments and drone like flying capabilities would make Cane the perfect hive solder.setup
Since Troy lost his vision and couldn’t find where his mom and Cane went . Sooo he goes back home where he meets up with his sister who is staying with Molly the pastors daughter. Molly leads both he and his sister to the lord. After repentance and praying For God to give him spiritual eyes to see through a world of deception and lies. God grants him spiritual eyesight and all the powers in the Bible plus all other senses become enhanced. While Troy still had a hard time seeing where people were he could discern who and what they were which was much more valuable.setup
Act 4 preparing for battle
Meanwhile Molly and Amy write more songs and help Troy develop the gifts God gave him. Amy and Molly train Troy to be more capable than he ever was in the churches gym and training room.setupThey help Troy recover as he puts to use and training by using the lords promised powers of the scriptures to grow in his walk with God. With the lord’s power to be able to enhance his other senses and see signs and wonders ,prophecies and do miracles like in the Bible. Troy develops the strength of Samson,the brains of Solomon and the faith of a prophetic
wonder workings of Elijah Troy becomes a force for good in God.
When working out Troy’s punch bursts the body bag and beats the gyms top warriors all at once.setup
In the mean time Cane is getting his Cyborg capabilities up to speed by the Satanic cult that is making him an Antichrist atheist beast transhuman hive warrior. Cane is having the same kind of success in his training as Troy unbeknownst to ether.
Canes and his team are building and army of transhuman soldiers who sink up as a hive controlled by the inventor queen who is forced to work for the beast to conquer the worlds nations. Setup
Troy is the only human that can stand up to Cane’s army still has no idea it is His brother as the final battle is coming. That’s when Troy finds out the queen that they rebuilt is actually his long lost mom.reveal
Cane is forced to battle not under his own control but the hives control for the future of the worlds inhabitants by the dragon himself. Now the question for the ages will finally be answered . Are we to becomespiritual ,mechanical or technological. When Molly and Amy come forward to claim the body.
Troy is killed in the battle. That’s When Molly and Amy come forward crying to claim the body.setup
Sooo Cane and his mother learn at last that the warrior was Troy.
Reveal This breaks their heart bringing the two to their knees to repent praying and asking God for forgiveness.
Sooo God resurrected Troy and brings the family back together for an all family hug.
However The evil force that caused this all to happen the Dragon of old then shows up and released his power and turns all his whole hive army against the family.
Out of the sky Christ and his angels return to balance the equation and help his family overcome the Evil one.
Then as the real powers line up to face each other as Armageddon begins we Segway to the kids on space education pod as the start of ww3 begins the war of three worlds ,the third story of the trilogy. Setup for the rest of the story.
1.Smarter than God —Lucifer’s story
2.Satans son’s secrets— the twins revolution
3.World war 3 the war of three worlds —preparing for the next world .
Armageddon
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Paul Mahoney’s Emotional Moments
My vision is to be a successful full-time professional writer, who constantly learns, enjoys life, creates employment for others and brings joy, fun, fulfilment, health, happiness, inspiration & an attitude of gratitude to my partner and others.
What I learned is that there are probably more emotions that I can explore within the script as I still have a lot of blanks.
Positive Emotions
Surprise – Act 1. – Dan is surprised by his feelings for Kyla.Act 2. Kyla is surprised to meet Dan again and her feelings are steel strong.Act 3. Act 4.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>BondingAct 1. – Dan bonds with his best friend and also Mrs. WagnerAct 2. – Kyla feels a bond with Dan.Act 3. – Dan feels close to God.Act 4. – Dan feels close to Kyla.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ExcitementAct 1. – Dan excited to raceAct 2. – Dan thinks he has a way to get out of the asylum.Act 3. Act 4. – Dan is cleared to go home.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>CourageAct 1. – Dan lines up at footraceAct 2. Act 3. Act 4. – Dan decides to live life without a partner for the moment.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Success/Winning – Act 1. – Dan daydreaming of winning the race/Kyla’s affectionAct 2. Act 3. Act 4. – Dan wins Kyla’s affection
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Love – Act 1. Dan wanting to win the love of KylaAct 2. Act 3. Kyla reveals her unrequited love for Dan.Act 4. Dan wins the love/affection of Kyla
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Negative Emotions
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Wounds – Act 1 – Dan is the slowest at everything, loses races etc. Loses races. Dan publicly shamed by his problem of pre-mature ejaculation.Act 2. – Dan tries to commit suicideAct 3. – Act 4. –
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Emotional Dilemma– Act 1. Should Mrs. Wagner tell Dan the truth?Act 2. Act 3. Should Kyla tell Dan how she feels? Should Dan tell Kyla how he feels?Act 4.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Betrayal – Act 1. Act 2. God feels betrayed by Dan stopped praying.Act 3. Dan feels God betrayed him.Act 4.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Moral issue – Act 1. Act 2. Should Kyla quit her job? Should God have acted sooner?Act 3. Should the psychiatrist quit his job? Act 4.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Hidden weakness – Act 1. Dan can’t accept good advice.Act 2. Act 3. Dan can’t let others know he talks to God.Act 4.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Distress – Act 1. – Dan being a loser and having failed relationships.Act 2. Dan trying to commit suicide.Act 3. Act 4.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Sacrifice – Act 1. Act 2. – Dan prepared to cut his life short. God working long hours/days.Act 3. – Kyla prepared to lose her job.Act 4.
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Eclipse Neilson – Emotional Moments
.VISION: I want to be a great award-winning writer, known for my new genre, who creates the most beautiful films that inspire others to feel deeply, pause, and ponder ways to make the world a better place.
2. What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment is that the places of some of the scenes will move around to be more in the flow and build-up of emotions
THE NUN AND TH WITCH
SCI-FI/ MYSTICAL DRAMA
ACT 1
FEAR/ LOVE & LOST/ SORROW /MYSTERY
Sister Anne and Lunea experience in flashes how each of their past lives ended, as they travel through the time tunnel. Deep emotional trauma.
FEAR/ LOVE & LOST /COURAGE
They arrive in the present where the sound of bombs and war, protest and hatred has taken over humanity. They take one last loving look and painfully let go as the step into their new lives.
HOPE
The two meet again in a new life and Athena is Lunea’s niece she has adopted from Ukraine.
FEAR ANGER DESPAIR, DISTRESS
Lunea’s New Age store is damaged by some thugs who threaten to return . It triggers Athena’s memories of her fear and loss while in Ukraine during the war and wants to give up.
SADNESS /HOPE / FEAR
Father Sinclair dies freeing the cage bird just before he collapses. Sister Anne discovers him. The unknown is whether she will be able to keep her promise to him and save the church as the new leader.
ACT 2
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
Father haunts Sister Anne wanting her to lead with the same control he did but she has grown close to. Lunea and their love is growing.
JOY/ FREEDOM & LOVE
Lunea convinces Sister Anne to let go and be free spirit again and jump into the river with her. After an internal struggle she rushes into the river with her clothes on to join Lunea who is naked.
SORROW/ FEAR
Lunea has a foretelling dream where she realizes there once again be a great loss between the two of them and that Athena her niece will grieve.
FEAR/DISTRESS/ BONDING
Athena is bullied in school and she runs away to the streets.
HOPE
Athena develops a loving relationship with the homeless Old One and brings her home. Both Lunea and Athena discover she is a tribal Wise woman
HOPE
Anne stand in her power against the brutal discrimination and begins to unite the heart of humanity.
LOVING JOY
Father Sinclair and Sister Anne have a breakthrough moment where he seeks redemption and she blesses him.
JOY FREEDOM
Sister Anne finally fulfills her inner spirit wish and rides the mare through the forest with great freedom.
ACT 3:
FEAR/ DISTRESS
The town reacts to Lunea;s and Sister Anne’s friendship and threatens them.
LOVE / SADNESS/ SACRIFICE
Sister Anne and Lunea spend the night under the heavens holding each other. Sister Anne confesses she has fallen in love with Lunea, but Lunea tearfully tells her not In this lifetime can they come together as lovers because there are bigger task at hand.
ACT 4
GRIEF / SACRIFICE
Sister Anne and Lunea are killed on the steps of the church.
HOPE
The people have an awakening after witnessing a miracle with Athena and the Council of Universal Beings return Sister Anne and Lunea to the heavens.
HOPE/ SUCESS WINNING
In the future we see Athena is the new preacher and she is the goddess returned.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Eclipse Neilson.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by
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Jack P’s Emotional Moments
VISION: I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WRITE A SUCCESSFUL SCRIPT THAT IS PRODUCED AND LEADS TO MULTIPLE MOVIES.
WHAT I LEARNED: I need to build in and enhance the emotional beats in my script with stronger set-ups and pay offs. I need to increase the intensity and raise the stakes of the emotional moments of the story.
TITLE: WAITING ON A FRIEND
ACT ONE
Distress: A drunk attacks Lina, Jay saves her.
Excitement: Jay and Lina go on a road trip. They get drunk and have wild sex.
Betrayal: Jay lies to Lina about being married.
Moral issue: Lina feels remorse for sleeping with Jay. She is shamed by an unknown caller.
Excitement/distress: Jay is struck by lightning and discovers his many reincarnations and Lina is his soulmate from multiple lifetimes.
Dilemma: Lina is forced to choose between going with Jay and returning to live with her parents. Neither is a good choice for her.
ACT TWO
Moral issue: Jay is still married, but in love with Lina.
Betrayal: Jay’s wife leaves him for another woman.
Love: Lina reveals she is in love with Jay;
Dilemma: but is a lesbian.
Distress: Jay’s son is shot and killed days before he returns to CR.
ACT THREE
Love: Jay and Lina reunite and are in love.
Wound: Lina was raped at age 17 and her “niece” Cici is actually her daughter.
Hidden weakness: Lina still has feelings for her old flame Marita.
Excitement: Jay and Lina go on another road trip to celebrate her birthday. Plane ride, waterfalls, bungee jumping, white water rafting etc.
Distress: Jay and Lina have a final falling out. They have an emotional farewell.
ACT FOUR
Love/affection: Jay returns to CR, tells Lina he still loves her, is willing to be friends if that’s what she wants also.
Bonding: Jay attends a family gathering with Lina’s family, they all celebrate.
Excitement/surprise: Jay invites Lina and Marita to come and live with him, along with Cici. They are now one big happy dysfunctional family of soulmates.
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Micki’s Emotional Moments
My vision: Be recognized as a writer that will work with the industry and would do what it takes to be that WRITER.
What I learned from doing this assignment is that emotions can play seriousness to comedy. Each act needs an emotional pull and reaction from the audience.
Act One:
Bonding: Making plans to end the feud between the sisters.
Courage: Dakota comes to a family event knowing her sister will be there.
Angry: Blake sees Dakota and makes snide remarks,
Act Two:
Surprise: The door is locked.
Moral Issues: Dakota wants to find the tablecloth and end the feud.
Brat: Blake refuses to help.
Act Three
Hurt: The sisters start fighting.
Funny: They uses pillows
Act Four
Happiness: Wedding
Forgiveness: They forgive each other
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Rebecca’s Emotional Moments
Vision: My vision for my success from this program is to be the go-to writer for producers looking for incredible scripts for successful movies enjoyed by a vast viewing audience.
What I learned from this is that when I expanded the emotion of the action, dialog emerged, and I responded with empathy for the characters. Wow!
Act 1
Old: Ragman finds his brother and brings him home.
Emotional: Ragman notices a dark shape on the ground at the barracks site. He places the truck so the headlights wash over the area and the body. Ragman leaps to his brother’s side fearing him dead. He shakes Irvin’s shoulder and softly calls, “Irv, Irv,” and when no response drops his head to Ervin’s rain soaked chest and relieved to make out a heartbeat. He checks his brother for gunshot wounds, turns him over to check his back, and grinds back his sobs. The shirt is shredded, the back sliced raw, his body lying in a mix of blood, mud, and shit boil Ragman with rage and he bellows at the sky and shakes with sobs. Ragman chokes back the tears to regain calm to focus on saving his brother’s life, to take him home.
Act 1
Old: Incensed and frustrated, Ragman throws rocks at a line of bottles and yells profanities.
Emotional: Ragman begins to clean Ervin’s wounds. His mother holds back her tears to help. It is a torturous job for both. After the doctor arrives and takes over, Ragman throws rocks at a line of bottles and cans while yelling profanity, obscenities, and threats.
Act 2
Old: Bucholtz lurks nearby with three troopers and waits until Ragman and Stan leave.
They burst into the company house. Bucholtz tells two of his men to take the effeminate boy to the wagon road and have fun. He orders the remaining trooper, BERNARD, to take the girl upstairs and enjoy her.
Emotional: When Ben sees Bucholtz twisting Ludie’s arm he feigns bravery and pleads for the trooper to let his sisters go. He offers himself instead. The troopers laugh. Bucholtz claims Ben would like that, be taken by a man. He then calls the boy a freak, an abomination, an effeminate. He orders his men to remove him from the house and show what happens to freaks. The sisters try to intervene, but held back. They watch as the trooper ties Bens hands behind his back and put a noose around his neck. They threaten to hang him on the front porch if Ben doesn’t comply. Ludie pleads for them not to hurt him. Bucholtz warns her that he might just kill all of them. Ludie quiets.
Old:
Ludie makes Reise swear that they will keep the rapes secret from everyone to keep Ragman and Stan from confronting the madman and possible death.
Emotional: Ludie crawls upstairs to comfort her sister. She finds a sobbing Reise lying on the mattress in the big room. Ludie sits next to her sister, strokes the girl’s long thick hair, and hums a song their mother sang to comfort them. Reise calms and so does Ludie. She reminds the girl that life goes on. “We’re still alive, only hurt, and with time we’ll heal.” She warns her that they can’t let Papa or Ragman know what happened or it could cause their death. “Those monsters can’t beat us down. We won’t let them or give them an excuse to kill the men we love. We must remain silent.” She turns her sister’s head and looks into her eyes to make sure she understands it must remain their secret. Ludie orders Reise to say it out loud. “It’s our secret. Oh, Ludie, I am so sorry.” Riese hugs Ludie for dear life. Ludie strokes her hair.
Act 3
Old: Tensions get worse between Ragman and Ludie after her stay with Dora. She is thin, pale, and her hair cut like a patient in a lunatic asylum.
Emotional:
Ludie’s mother-in-law Emma walks across the lane to visit just after Ragman’s news about buying Emma’s dream house in Springdale. The women speak to each other in Polish. Uncomfortable, Ludie wanders around the kitchen to look busy. Emma asks her to sit that they need to talk. Ludie sits but tries to divert Emma’s attention. How could she know? Emma comes right to the point. She admits to knowing how it feels to miscarry a child. “I have lost several.” Ludie’s eyes water. Emma then talks for the first time about her still born babies, and her Minnie who died at age three, and Oscar who only lived a few days. Ludie sees the sorrow in Emma’s face. Emma admits that a part of her died with each baby. “Many times I felt my heart could take no more. I did not know if I could go on. You are not alone in that.” Emma admits to being selfish but did not pity herself too long. “I had beautiful living children to think about, to care for. It gave me strength.” She reminds Ludie that she too is strong, has two healthy boys, and a man who loves her. “You will have a good life in Springdale, easier than mine.” She then asks Ludie if she understands. Ludie agrees and asks Emma how she knew. “I have lived a long time. Old women know these things.” She then asks if Ragman knows. Ludie admits to never letting him know that she was pregnant. “Or miscarried,” she lies. She holds onto Emma’s hand until there are no more tears and a new bond between them.
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Jeffrey Alan Chase’s Emotional Moments
My vision: I am an “A” list writer who is known for high concept ideas, great execution, a string of successful movies and is always ready to share his knowledge and do what he can to help another writer on the way up.
What I learned from doing this assignment is:
ACT 1:
Joy: Everything Sarah does in the shop demonstrates professionalism, dedication, and competence.
Frustration: Sarah must keep busy or else fragments of childhood memories will return and haunt her.
Helplessness: When she leaves work, she buys vodka, and drinks to dull pain of the memories.
Surprise: Sarah receives an ancient Anasazi Indian pot to repair. The zig zag pattern on the pot triggers powerful, incapacitating emotions.
Shock: Sarah is in shock, the pot slips from her hands. It shatters. She’s mortified.
Terror: Young Sarah runs from a bearded, bear of a man in the desert at night near an ancient Anasazi cliff dwelling. The man catches the girl and throws her off a cliff.
Surprise: Sarah is the little girl in the flashback.
Depression: Sarah admits she broke March’s pot, tells him she can fix it in a week. Asks where it is from.
Forgiveness: March forgives Sarah about breaking the pot.
Interest: March offers to meet Sarah for dinner in a week and pick up his pot.
Frustration: Sarah has problems repairing the pot.
Dilemma: Sarah tells her boss she “needs time” to March’s his pot. She’s told when she finishes pot to take as much time as she needs. Her boss doesn’t want her back until she gets herself sober.
Awe: Johnny drives his police car on the Navajo rez, sees the Shaman on a mesa, a dust devil swirls near him. Johnny mutters, “Talking with the spirits again.”
Anger: The Shaman conspires with police chief, Frank, (Johnny’s father) to get Johnny laid off.
Frustration: Frank tells Johnny that he must cut the hours for the newest cop – and that is Johnny.
Anger: Johnny pushes back, wants to work on the “Sarah Cole” cold case from twenty years ago.
Frustration: Frank tells Johnny it’s old news. Forget it.
Failure: Johnny accuses Frank of hiding something about the case.
Dilemma: Frank suspends him without pay for six months. How am I gonna pay my car payment?
Bonding: Shaman pressures Johnny to become next Shaman.
Frustration: Johnny refuses the call; says he’s going to solve an old cold case and then his father will have to bring him back onto the force.
Hope: Sarah and March meet for dinner at his hotel with new pot.
Surprise: On the sidewalk, a mugger named Tomas wears a ski mask, tries to mug Sarah and March.
Surprise: March throws a right hook and breaks Tomas’ jaw with his bionic hand.
Pride: March plays down his heroism but at the same time, consoles Sarah at her place, he’s worried about her.
ACT 2:
Interest: Johnny takes a job at the riding stables, asks stable manager, Eddie, about old Sarah Cole case.
Success: March uses hypnosis to regress Sarah to meet YOUNG SARAH, her 6-year-old self to learn about her childhood and the whatever the trauma was that she experienced. We meet Ben and Bear during the session. Young Sarah kicks a skull in the desert.
Amusement: Young Sarah (via hypnosis) proves to be tough to handle, both for March and for Sarah.
Inadequacy: Sarah agrees to let March conduct her sessions as he sees fit.
Fear: Sarah is informed by March that her father was a cruel man, a grave robber who dug up Indian graves and sold his booty to collectors.
Loneliness: March takes complete control of Sarah’s memories.
Fear: Sarah wakes from another session and “remembers” she disobeyed her father and somehow it led to his death. She runs from March’s office.
Pride: March’s ego takes over.
Betrayal: March’s psychopathy and greed causes him to become careless and move too fast. He inadvertently mixes his memories in with Sarah’s memories during a hypnosis session.
Suspicion: Sarah suspects that something isn’t Kosher with March’s treatment and her memories.
Wound: Johnny queries his grandfather, the Shaman, on the story about Sarah Cole. Shaman tells him to go talk to his father, Frank. Johnny is angry and says he has nothing to say to his father.
Anger: The Shaman demands that Frank come clean with Johnny about what Frank knows regarding the history of Sarah and March.
Anger: Frank goes ballistic, yells at Shaman and claims to have done the “right” thing 20 years ago.
Surprise: Frank is proud of Johnny and steering his son to investigate the Sarah Cole story, which will force Johnny to dig deep and to also prove himself as a cop.
Surprise: Shaman and Frank transport little Sarah to the hospital in Shaman’s old pickup.
ACT 3:
Helplessness: Sarah confides to a bartender, wonders if March could be wrong about her father, wonders if March is somehow manipulating her memories and her interaction with young Sarah.
Surprise: Sarah remembers her father’s words from a previous session when he said, “Listen to everyone but trust only in yourself.”
Surprise: Sarah takes a hand full of pills, attempts to kill herself.
Overwhelmed: March breaks into Sarah’s apartment with the help of the manager, is frantic but it is for the wrong reasons. If Sarah dies, he loses any chance of finding the cave. He calls 911, is worried.
Surprise: In the ER, Sarah has a flashback about being dropped off at the hospital by the Shaman 20 years ago. Another face enters the picture in black and white. It is Frank. He is with the Shaman.
Surprise: Tomas, Sarah’s “mugger”, shows up and wants more money from March to keep quiet about March using Sarah for his “next book”. March gives him $10,000 cash to keep his mouth shut. Tells him to make sure he’s there at the stable to guide Sarah and him into the desert.
Dilemma: Sarah surreptitiously asks questions of young Sarah while March asks questions of young Sarah. Oder Sarah uses young Sarah to try and get into March’s head, learn what he knows and if in fact he is manipulating her.
Frustration: Johnny reluctantly spends time with his grandfather and refreshes his native and shamanistic lore. The Shaman helps Johnny explore his spiritual roots and not-too-subtly drops suggestions to make Johnny commit to the path as future shaman. Johnny pushes back and asks about a treasure cave and the Shaman reluctantly reveals it is a real place and that a spiritual tragedy occurred there. Frank’s name is mentioned by the Shaman.
Interest: Johnny finds the nurse who cared for Sarah 20 years ago. She remembers the case because it caused a rift between his father and grandfather.
Inspiration: Johnny can’t stop the cop in him and visits Frank, asks again about the girl who got dropped off at the hospital 20 years ago and is told to leave the story alone and reminded he’s been suspended. He’s angry, “I want to solve the case and can’t because I’m shoveling horse shit for the next six months!” “Leave the Cole case alone or that’s what you’ll be doing the rest of your life!”
Anger: Before their next session, Sarah questions March about his true motives. March comes “clean” with her; admits he plans to write his next book about her. She’s pissed off and walks out of his office.
Dilemma: March looks sad and we think it’s because he really cares about Sarah’s welfare. But no…
Moral issue: Johnny runs into Tomas at the stable. Tomas still has a broken jaw. He’s come into money, quit his job and is just picking up his stuff. Always the cop, Johnny asks where he got the money from and pulls a baggie of coke from Tomas’ shirt pocket. Tomas begs Johnny not to turn him in, tells Johnny that a guy paid him just to make him look good in front of a woman. A guy named March and some woman named Cole are supposed to go out on a weekend ride to look for something. Tomas was supposed to guide them but is finished working for March. Johnny is astounded: Is this THE Sarah Cole?
Bonding: March shows at Sarah’s apartment, convinces her the only way for her to find peace is for them to revisit “the scene of the crime”, a remote area on the Navajo reservation. Sarah refuses. He uses a post-hypnotic suggestion to make her remember the song she sang as a child with her father.
Helplessness: Sarah reluctantly agrees to go into the desert with March. She isn’t sure what to believe but something has changed in her…
Inspiration: Sarah suddenly is passionate about learning the truth. (See Sarah later realizing the song lyrics are incorrect.)
Anger: March is livid when Tomas tells him another guide will be taking him into the desert, Johnny. Tomas tells him it’s his own fault, “You shouldn’t have broken my jaw, asshole!”
Awe: Shaman tells Johnny to expect chindi to be with him in the desert. Johnny scoffs, kind of. He doesn’t want to believe his grandfather, but we know he does.
ACT 4:
Courage: Johnny leads Sarah and March deep into inhospitable desert to a search for the cave. He suspects March is not who he claims and tells Sarah about it. Sarah doesn’t believe him and gets angry.
Joy and Fear: Sarah remembers the song lyrics March sang to her are different than what she remembers. She sings the lyrics to Johnny as they ride.
Success: Johnny gives Sarah reasons why March just might be who he says he is.
Anger: March orders Johnny to stay away from Sarah. Johnny holds his tongue but is pissed.
Dilemma: Johnny gets bitten by a rattlesnake that “found” its way into his bedroll at night. He goes off my himself. From his own bedroll, March notices but does nothing. Johnny uses native remedies to cure himself. Johnny now realizes his survival will be due to his reawakened shamanistic knowledge.
Dilemma: March tries to “shave” away his old self with an electric razor.
Fear and Surprise: While meditating early morning, Johnny sweats profusely, still fighting off the snake bite. He’s nearly back to healthy. He suddenly hears a buzz. Turns out it is an electric razor. March is shaving his head and heavy 5:00 beard. March is surprised to see Johnny, stammers, apologizes for being rough on him about Sarah, asks Johnny to keep his secret. Now March looks worried.
Bonding: Sarah, March, and Johnny endure harsh desert conditions, climb up perilous cliffs.
Joy: Sarah rediscovers the desert cave in her childhood memory.
Interest: March tells Sarah and Johnny to open the cave entrance. His fake arm is an albatross.
Success: Johnny puts the pieces together: Tomas, Sarah’s memory of the cave, inconsistencies of March, Frank’s reluctance to discuss the little girl in the hospital cold case, his grandfather/shaman and hints the man made and Johnny’s own questions and guesswork about Sarah and March. Johnny realizes the only man who could have sealed the cave with Sarah’s father in it must have been his own father who sealed the cave, took little Sarah to the hospital, and dropped her off with no explanation. He deduces that March must have somehow escaped the cave and eluded Frank in the desert to become the current March, a self-help author and celebrity hypnotist.
Wound: Sarah is helping Johnny realize his true calling and he is helping her to heal.
Sadness: Sarah realizes March has used her all along – and that March murdered her father.
Betrayal: March pulls a small pistol from his boot. He confesses about having to cut off his own arm, but he wasn’t hunting. It was to escape the cave. He wandered in the desert for days. Like Sarah, he couldn’t remember where the cave was. He needed her memories to lead him back. His wild eyes reveal his insanity as he surveys the treasure trove of Conquistador armor and strongboxes.
Redemption: The shaman sits on the mesa, chants. A dust devil appears…
Surprise: At the same time, a dust devil appears at the mouth of the cave and Sarah recognizes the spirit of her father. March is distracted for a moment which gives Johnny a chance to charge March.
Surprise: Johnny charges March to protect Sarah and gets shot by March. A glancing headwound. He will survive to realize his future is as a cop AND as the shaman.
Courage: Sarah has put the pieces of herself back together. She grabs a Conquistador shield, uses it to deflect March’s bullets, get close and fights him to the death. She will need time but now can allow herself to love and be loved and enjoy life as a complete person.
Emptiness: March fights with Sarah and loses. He slips over the edge of the cliff, desperately hangs on with his bionic arm – he begs for his life, plays with Sarah’s mind. His fake arm pops loose and he falls to his death from the same cliff he threw Sarah from twenty years before.
Forgiveness: Sarah leaves her father’s half of the shard for Johnny to find in his hospital bed. We are led to believe that Johnny and Sarah will hook up in the future – but we’re not sure. Sarah forgives herself.
Closing scene: March’s spirit (chindi/dust devil) tries to put back together his arm and hand bones that were left on the cliff that he fell from. His chindi will wander forever and never find peace.
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Tracy’s Emotional Moments
I will do whatever it takes to become a successful author and screenwriter with multiple successful movies produced.
I absolutely love causing my audience to feel emotional!
ACT 1:
Surprise turns to distress: Anna’s brother-in-law comes home from the army unexpectedly at Christmas. He tells Anna of the privations the army suffers at Valley Forge, and even worse, the youngest brother-in-law, Baylis, has died of smallpox while in camp.
Wound: Anna, whose father died when she was a girl, fears losing her own husband, Benjamin, to disease during the long winter.
Distress: Anna’s uncle disparages the army for losing so many battles.
Bonding: Anna encourages her cousins to help her canvass their neighbors for blankets and clothing to send to the soldiers.
Emotional Dilemma: Anna’s uncle says her efforts are no use. The supplies could be stolen or lost, and what she, a lone woman, can do, is not enough to make a difference.
Distress: Anna receives a letter from Benjamin. Her brothers are ill. Benjamin has no coat. She worries that the situation may be even worse than he has told her and decides she must take the supplies—and food—to them at Valley Forge herself.
Surprise: Rather than make fun of her efforts, her uncle offers to bankroll her journey if she will deliver a letter to a business associate on the way.
ACT 2:
Courage: Anna rides off with the supplies on her saddle horse, Nelly.
Distress: Everywhere she stops, she is assumed to be a prostitute, or at least a less-than-upstanding person, because she is without a male escort. As the wife of a minister and a valued healer in her community, she is not used to being treated with disrespect.
Bonding: She stops for the night at the home of a patriot woman whose son is also in the army. She warns Anna that there are traitors and spies everywhere, and she would be wise to hasten her journey and keep her politics to herself.
Betrayal/Moral Issue: Anna delivers the letter to her uncle’s associate, but learns the letter contains payment to finance a smuggling operation. Guns and clothing meant for the army are being diverted to British POWs to allow them to break out of an undisclosed prison camp and escape dressed as civilians. Anna has her own mission to fulfill, but she decides to try and thwart the smugglers’ plans.
Distress/Wounds: While in pursuit, Anna falls in the river at a ferry crossing and nearly drowns. If she does not take care, she will die on this quest and her children will be without a mother—and possibly lose their father in the war too.
Distress/Wound/Hidden Weakness: back on the road, Anna has lost sight of the smugglers, and while she rushes to catch up, three armed highwaymen catch her alone on the road. She tries to bargain for her release, but when it is clear they aren’t interested, she steels herself for whatever is to come. As a child, she witnessed the rape of an enslaved woman, and with that memory in the forefront of her mind, she is frozen by panic. Then she determines to do what she must to survive, even if it means submitting.
Surprise: Two Hessian soldiers emerge from the forest and kill the highwaymen. Their companion, the Baker General of the US Army, is a spy for General Washington. They escort her to safety in the next town.
Bonding: Ludwick, the spy, suggests Anna dress in her husband’s clothes while on the road, and as they travel together, he coaches her in how to avoid trouble and how to defend herself if necessary. When they part ways, Anna is a day’s ride from Benjamin’s aunt and uncle’s home in York, PA.
Moral Issue: At York, Anna witnesses a speech by General Gates. Though he is supposedly a war hero in the Continental Army, she has a visceral, negative reaction to him. A kind stranger, who turns out to be a congressman, shows her the way to her aunt and uncle’s house.
Love: Anna is welcomed with open arms by Benjamin’s relatives and learns how many good things his family in Virginia has written to these northern relatives. She can truly relax in their home and let her aunt fuss over her.
Emotional Dilemma: Harrison, the congressman, comes back to the house with an urgent request. He has a secret message that must reach Gen. Washington right away. Will she deliver it to Washington personally? There is a conspiracy afoot that could change the outcome of the war!
Courage: At every step of her journey, Anna has been assumed to be a prostitute or a spy. Now, when she must be prepared to lie and conceal to deliver the message safely, she realizes she has developed the skills she will need.
ACT 3:
Courage: Anna sets out at dawn with the message. She keeps her cool when soldiers and a mysterious stranger stop the decoy courier and rough him up as they search his things.
Distress: When the conspirators’ henchman confronts Anna and demands she give back the message, she claims she doesn’t know what he’s talking about—but she puts the whip to her horse and evades him.
Courage: Anna relies on her recent experiences and the advice of the spy. She bribes a ferryman to take her and leave the henchman, putting some distance between them. She crosses with the smugglers and figures out a way to bring them to justice. The time spent with the authorities who can arrest the smugglers allows the henchman to catch up to her. They end up at the same tavern for the night.
Success/Winning: Anna spikes the henchman’s wine with opium and, even though she’s safe, spends a restless night sleeping under a table in the kitchen larder. Just before dawn, she removes one of the shoes on the henchman’s horse to slow him down and heads for Valley Forge.
Distress: As she nears Valley Forge, Anna passes a field hospital and stops to make sure her brothers aren’t there. She stays long enough that the henchman has time to catch up. With the help of the doctor on staff, she eludes the henchman again and barely beats him to the picket line at Valley Forge.
ACT 4:
Excitement/Distress: Anna finds the soldiers on duty and demands to see Washington. They laugh at her and accuse her of being a spy. Then the henchman shows himself. They exchange gunfire, but the henchman escapes. The soldiers take Anna into custody, unsure if she’s part of some larger plot.
Surprise: As the soldiers take her to headquarters under armed escort, they pass Benjamin on the path. The horse, and then Anna, recognize him.
Success/Winning: They enjoy a happy reunion, and together they convince the soldiers she is telling the truth. They meet with General Washington.
Emotional Dilemma: Washington accepts the message. He is polite but does not read it. Has she failed? Washington invites her to stay the weekend and offers a detail to see her back to Virginia.
Bonding: Benjamin and Anna enjoy a passionate night together, and the following day she explores the army camp while Benjamin is occupied. Later, they visit the hospital together, where he gives a sermon and she tends her brothers, who are recovering.
Excitement: General Hamilton summons Anna to tell her the message was read and was useful. Members of the Board of War arrive at Valley Forge. Anna wants to listen in as they meet with generals, but Benjamin convinces her to come away. They laugh that she will be suspected of being a spy.
Love/Success/Winning: On the way back to Virginia, Benjamin and Anna meet with the congressman who asked her to carry the message. They learn more details of the conspiracy and the corruption in Congress and the Board of War.
Excitement: Anna witnesses Lafayette’s defiance of the Board of War’s wishes and his toast honoring Washington.
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VISION FOR SUCCESS: I will deliver delicious, surprising, seemingly effortless work, that is constantly in demand and causes people to recommend me for original and rewrite projects without hesitation.WHAT I LEARNED FROM DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS that planning for emotional moments helps make plot decisions… Because, what else needs to happen…? Not much. GREAT.
TITLE: Mitchwich
CONCEPT: On graduation day, a petulant cynic goes back in time to the first day of high school and changes the event that he thinks ruined his life and when he returns, he meets his worst nightmare – HIMSELF.
GENRE: TEEN BUDDY COMEDY
EMOTIONAL MOMENTS:
ACT 1:
EXCITEMENT/BONDING: Mitch teaches his dog an amazing trick. They love each other.
BONDING: Mitch meets Robbie. Robbie falls in love with Mitch.
COURAGE/LOVE: Mitch does his trick. Picks Sophie out of the audience. Mitch and Sophie have a major connection.
DISTRESS: Mitch shits his pants and then shits all over Sophie.
DISTRESS: Mitch’s dog dies.
DISTRESS: Mitch is bullied by Simon who won’t let him use the BOYS’ bathroom so he has to take a shit in the teacher’s lounge bathroom.
WOUND: Mitch pooped on Sophie and he can no longer talk to her or look at her, even now, four years later. He avoids her at all costs… But he still thinks she’s beautiful. He remembers tat one moment they had… Before it all went so wrong.
SUCCESS: Mitch calibrates the time machine and makes it work.
DISTRESS: Mitch’s dog dies.
DISTRESS: He doesn’t want to go to his graduation – upsetting his parents.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Just as Mitch is about to go back in time, Robbie professes his love for Mitch and kisses him.
ACT 2
DISTRESS: Mitch’s time machine breaks down a week early.
SURPRISE: Mitch and NEW MITCH meet each other and they are the same, but different.
EXCITEMENT: New Mitch is blown away by the whole situation and Mitch is in perplexed awe of New Mitch’s flamboyant magicality.
SUCESS: Mitch and New Mitch succeed at building the Cousin Mitch narrative.
SURPRISE: NEW MOM is a winner of Survivor and now she’s a motivational speaker. Consults with executives about presentation skills.
DISTRESS: Mitch’s dog doesn’t know any tricks and is despondent.
DISTRESS: Mitch’s Dad has gone A Beautiful Mind in the basement.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: New Mitch and New Sophie have a tumultuous on-again-off-again love story.
BETRAYAL: New Robbie is gay and in love with New Simon who is the best boyfriend ever.
SURPRISE: New Mitch is pansexual and has slept with both New Robbie and with New Simon.
HIDDEN WEAKNESS: Mitch has no self esteem. He’s reluctant to trust that any of this could possibly be real.
SUCCESS: The Mitches further build on the ‘Cousin Mitch’ narrative – they both did their 5th grade geography report on Vancouver Island, CA.
ACT 3
SUCCESS/DISTRESS: Mitch gets to do his magic trick during New Mitch’s magic show. This time he succeeds and New Sophie falls for Mitch like she had New Mitch that first day of school. New Mitch sees this and gets INSANELY jealous.
COURAGE: Mitch strips off his baggage and pursues New Sophie at the cast party…
LOVE: New Sophie tells Mitch what she dreams of in a man. What she loved about New Mitch. What they’re missing.
BONDING: New Mitch tells Mitch about what he thinks is missing from his relationship with New Sophie. They both yearn for the same thing.
LOVE: Mitch, New Sophie, and New Mitch have a threeway and a transcendent sexual experience.
DISTRESS: New Sophie is confused. She has left them both. She needs time to think.
BONDING: Mitch brings New Mitch and New Sophie together.
DISTRESS: Mitvh is going to disappear forever and he has come to love life.
SACRIFICE: Mitch gives up his existence for Nww Mitch.
LOVE: New Mitch and New Sophie will miss Mitch very much.
SURPRISE: The moment when Mitch departed comes… And goes. They are not in a closed-loop time travel path, but they’re actually in a multiverse…
ACT 4
SURPRISE: MITCH-FROM-THE-FUTURE shows up to explain things to them so they can do the right thing. Faster.
LOVE: Mitch reminds his parents. Just loves his mom and loves his dad in a moment of excitement over his graduation.
SUCCESS/WINNING: He wins a special prize at graduation.
COURAGE: He goes up on the stage. He does his trick again. He picks Sophie from the audience – Open ending. The future is theirs…
SUCCESS.
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ROBERT SMITH’s EMOTIONAL MOMENTS
I want to become a great writer who delivers entertaining, informative, and uplifting scripts that sell and get produced.
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS…?”
Spotting emotional moments throughout the story demonstrates where more development may be applied in order to keep the audience engaged.
ASSIGNMENT
2. Give us a one or two sentence explanation of the emotional moments in each act of your project.
TITLE: “Angels in Gangland.”
CONCEPT: A slain mobster (Lou Tasca) cannot make it to the World to Come because of his life of crime, but he has a chance to rectify his wrongs and redeem himself: He must return in spirit to his fellow mobster who killed him and persuade him to quit La Cosa Nostra, flip, and enter the Witness Protection Program.
BEGINNING: A Moral Issue and Emotional Dilemma for Carlo when Tony Rizzo orders him to whack Lou Tasca, whom he likes. Tony explains to Carlo that Lou must be executed because he spills secrets to other crime families and moreover Tony provides Carlo with an incentive, i.e., he promises Carlo this killing Lou will qualify him to become a made man of the Giordano crime family. Carlo, at his induction ritual, submits to the oath of silence (Omerta) with excitement. This is an honor he says that he has coveted since he was a child.
ACT ONE:
Distress Lou is distressed to find himself dead and unable to advance to the World to Come, plus he is distressed to learn the real reason Tony Rizzo had him killed by Carlo: Tony didn’t want to pay him the $200,000 gambling debt he owed him.
Bonding: Lou bonds with his spirit guide, Rabbi Solomon Levitsky, who will coach him throughout his mission.
Hidden weakness: Impatiently, Lou wants to ‘get it over with’ so, against R. Solomon’s guidance, Lou (visible to Carlo alone) crashes Carlo’s 30<sup>th</sup> Birthday Party and scares Carlo. The guests, who can’t see Lou think he is crazy. Unwittingly, Lou exposed Carlo to being murdered, as Boss Tony feels Carlo is insane, and therefore, a liability for the Giordano family who should be eliminated – he already (rightly) suspects Carlo and his friend Sam (R. Solomon’s son) of the mob’s capital offense of dealing drugs on the sneak.
Betrayal: Tony feigns love of Sam and Carlo, but contacts the Russian Crime Boss, Oleg
Oransky – with whom Tony shares a lucrative gasoline bootlegging racket – to ask him to send
his ex-KGB henchmen to snoop around and confirm whether or not they are dealing junk. A full
and fatal plot of betrayal against Carlo and Sam by Tony is now activated.
Distress: Sherrie,, a stripper at Tony’s Playhouse Gentlemen’s Club and Carlo’s loving
fiancé (who wants him to leave the mob), believes that Carlo is not insane but has seen the spirit
of Lou Tasca and recruits her fellow poledance partner, Zoey the Psychic Stripper (who is also
Tony’s mistress) to do a séance to rid Carlo’s apartment of the spirit of Lou Tasca.
Surprised and distressed by the interloping of a spirit medium, R. Solomon teaches Lou
the art of spirit-possession of living person for him ro do during the séance.
Courageously Lou possesses Carlo, following R. Solomon’s guidance. And tells Zoey to stop interfering with his mission to save Carlo’s life and soul.
In distress, Zoey does stop the séance and leaves Sherrie and Carlo, warning Carlo to do as Lou tells him (and leave the mob).
Distress Sherrie leaves Carlo when she discerns that he had killed Lou Tasca and refuses to leave ‘the life’ because once in it, you can’t get out. Carlo is now alone and exposed to execution by Tony Rizzo.
ACT THREE
Surprise: R. Solomon eaves drops on the meeting of Tony with Oleg Oransky. At the meeting, Tony indicates he already has a hitman ready to undertake the murder of Carlo and Sam and disregards Oleg’s assurance that his ex-KGB determined that Carlo and Sam are not dealing drugs. R. Solomon also learns that Oleg is an FBI informant who together with his FBI handlers will rush to Carlo and Sam to save their lives from Tony’s hitman.
Betrayal: Tony learns that he has been betrayed by his boss, Don Primo Giordano. He plans to kill him also and start his own family beginning with his crew, minus Carlo and Sam whom he also must eliminate.
ACT FOUR Climax
Distress: R. Solomon cannot communicate with Sam until he begs God to give him the authority again to spirit possess Carlo to tell Sam their lives are in danger from Tony Rizzo..
Excitement: God gives permission to R. Solomon to spirit-possess Carlo to warn Carlo and Sam that their lives are in danger from Tony Rizzo.
Big Betrayal: Carlo discovers that Sam is the hitman ordered by Tony to kill him, after which, Tony would kill Sam.
Bonding: Carlo convinces Sam to drop the gun and join him in leaving the mob and surrender to the FBI and Witness Protection.
Success/Winning: In triumph, R. Solomon and Lou depart as their mission is accomplished.
Bonding/Success/Surprise: Sherrie and Zoey arrive to get more of Sherrie’s things, but when Carlo tells Sheirrie that he and Sam are leaving the mob, Sherrie and Carlo are back together again. Oleg shows up to warn Carlo and Sam they are in danger and to join him in joining the Witness Protection Program.
Distress: Tony shows up and threatens to kill all of them for ‘turning rat’ but the FBI shows up and arrests them all, inviting Tony to also turn rat.
Success: Lisa (Tony’s wife) shows up, she has been an FBI Informant and persuades Tony to also ‘turn rat.’
RESOLUTION:
Bonding of R. Solomon and Lou in success.
Success: Lou can now move on to the World to Come. Mission accomplished.
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CJ’s Emotional Moments
Vision: I am a confident and empowered writer who embraces challenges and changes and writes highly sought-after projects with fresh and exciting ideas. I will be produced and hired to write projects that get produced.
WIL: I have identified several areas and I know that there is more opportunity here. I will continue to dig into my outline for more opportunities.
Title: MEMORY HUNTERS
Concept:
In a future with technology to retrieve memories, a Memory Retrevalist, caught in the mind of a psychopath struggles to find a way out before he destroys her mind and kills her.
ASSIGNMENT
Like the example, give us a one or two sentence explanation of the emotional moments in each act of your project.
Opening:
Set-Up: (Wounds) Mya has nightmares about her past.
Reveal: She works for a company that can find lost or stolen memories as well as ones that the people try to hide.
Set-up: Mya talks to a family looking for information of missing Will and Testament – the son is abusive. Mya sees it in her hunt for the missing memory and is intimidated by the son.
Reveal: Mya is new as a Memory Hunter
(Excitement) Mya explains the process
Act 1:
Set-up: (Emotional Dilemma) Mya’s sister tries to get Mya to the doctor. They fight and Mya implies it’s all Stella’s fault.
Reveal: Mya has headaches from a unique and rare brain tumor
(Bonding) Mya and her Friend Jason connect over dysfunctional families
Set-up: (Success/ Winning) Catherine announces based on a new Gov’t contract to assist the FBI she has been asked to run for Senator.
Act 2:
Set-up: Mya scours the records of past memory hunts.
Reveal: Mya is trying to find a way to block her own memory by learning what others have done.
(Distress) Mya can’t find the secret to blocking her own memories.
Set-up: (wound) Another Memory Hunter comes out of Freddie’s mind – traumatized and sent home. Terry tells Mya about Freddie’s history with his sister and why he is there.
Set-up: Catherine calls Terry to her office.
Reveal: Catherine and Terry are working together. Knowledge is power!
Set-up: (Moral issues) Mya finds anomalies in the records of unauthorized access to the subjects – Based on her unauthorized file searches
Reveal: The access occurs BEFORE their schedule incursion into the subjects’ minds.
Set-Up: (Betrayal) Terry drops hints about Frank being shady and owing money to the wrong people – Frank’s wife has been ill.
Reveal: Terry’s gathering information on all Memory Retrieval Employees
Act 3:
Set-up: (Wound) Mya accuses her sister of leaving her at the park where she was abducted
Reveal: (Love / Sacrifice / Surprise) Stella agrees to let Mya into her mind – Mya learns that it was SHE who ran away from her sister – her sister has been trying to protect her from the truth
Set-up: Mya is set to go into the mind of the OLD LADY (or embezzler)
Reveal: (Betrayal) She’s in the wrong mind! – She’s in the psycho’s mind and he was expecting her. No one knows she’s in there.
Jason is in the office and knows something is wrong. (Opportunity to have him work there too)
Set-up: (emotional dilemma) Terry has to acknowledge that Mya is in the wrong mind so he makes a KEY to help Mya out of back door.
Reveal: (Betrayal / Distress) The Key doesn’t work!
Set-Up: (Hidden weakness / Distress) Mya is in the mind of her abductor/tormentor! She sees a memory of Freddie in discussions – but doesn’t pay attention as she runs for her life through Freddie’s mind
Set-up: Mya must finally face her own past – she gathers the memories of the other victims – including her FIRST victim – his sister and finally adds her own memories.
Reveal: (Courage) Mya turns all the fear and pain back on to Freddie’ to live through all that he had done to others – his mind cracks and shuts down – Mya runs to the back door – to get out before the mind completely closes down.
Act 4:
Set-up: Mya accuses Frank of accessing the system for his own gain
Reveal: He is innocent
Set-up: (Sacrifice) Mya is suspended for misconduct and use of system (her sister) she doesn’t implicate Jason.
Set-up: (Bonding / Love?) Mya breaks into the company with Jason and reviews her own file and her time in Freddie’s mind
Reveal: (Excitement) Mya remembers when she first told Frank about strange anomalies – and recalls a FLASHY RING – someone else was in the office
Reveal: Mya remembers seeing the same FLASHY RING in Freddie’s Mind (this is an inconsistency – if Terry is accessing the minds on behalf of Catherine – how does Catherine and her Ring be part of Freddie’s memory – so need to work on this one!
NOTE: Could be a company ring – which is why she thinks it is FRANK – but Terry and Catherine also have ONE!
Betrayal – Terry implicates Catherine as the only one.
Set-up: (Bonding) Mya goes to Frank with her evidence from her own memories.
Reveal: Mya catches Terry in the mind of the embezzler making a deal – she transfer’s him to Freddie’s mind.
Reveal: (Winning/Success) Mya captures Terry and Catherine’s deals from the memories and plays them on the big screen behind Catherine as she calls a press conference to announce she’s running for Senate.
Ending:
Reveal/Payoff – (Courage) Mya confronts son from older woman from ACT 1 and stands her ground
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Pat Fitzgerald’s Emotional Moments
Vision: I have the courage, commitment and talent to write contest winning screenplays, and I will go on to have my scripts optioned and produced.
What I learned: That I have emotional moments written into my outline, but all of them can and will be elevated and transformed to top entertainment moments.
Act 1
Surprise: Jaki, hired to do a wimpy clown act at an assisted living home, turns the clown act into a sexy dance, much to the delight of residents and horror of the home’s supervisor.
Surprise: The assisted living home’s supervisor is Jaki’s daughter, Rochelle.
Distress: Rochelle receives a phone call from her landlord – she needs to pay back rent or will soon be evicted.
Hidden Weakness: Rochelle goes into a state of denial about the back rent and compulsively makes some online purchases.
Bonding: Jaki and new assisted living home resident, Ajax, have lunch and discover that they have mutual problems getting along with their kids.
ACT 2
Wounds: Jaki and Rochelle have an altogether too public argument over how embarrassed Rochelle has always been because her mother made her living as a stripper.
Betrayal: While Ajax is out of his room, Jaki searches it, trying to find evidence that Ajax is the cash cow she needs to make her future secure.
Surprise: Unknown to Jaki, her toddler granddaughter Lilly stuffs Ajax’s Rolex into her overalls and toddles off.
Betrayal: Needing a fulltime babysitter, Rochelle lies to Jaki, tells her that she can’t continue to give dance lessons to residents. This frees Jaki up to become her granddaughter’s babysitter.
Surprise: Jaki continues giving assisted living residents lessons by standing outside a window, and a local TV show does a story about her.
Wounds: Rochelle is embarrassed and humiliated when her mother talks about her career as a stripper on the local TV station.
Surprise: Rochelle’s assisted living home is inundated with folks wanting to move in, thanks to Jaki’s dance lessons.
Betrayal: When Ajax confronts Rochelle about his missing watch, she tells him in front of his son that she’s sure her mother took it.
Emotional Dilemma: Ajax doesn’t believe Rochelle, but his son pulls a power play and insists that Ajax break a future date with Jaki.
ACT 3
Love: After Ajax breaks his date with her, Jaki takes her dance lessons to other assisted living homes, in the hopes of finding another cash cow, only to realize how much she genuinely cares for Ajax.
Surprise: Rochelle and Lilly show up at Jaki’s house needing to move in – Rochelle has been evicted.
Moral Issue: Ajax, determined to see Jaki again, rifles Rochelle’s office in search of Jaki’s address. He learns of Rochelle’s pitiful financial problems and discovers his watch in Rochelle’s desk (where Lilly stashed it).
Surprise: Ajax is on his way to Jaki’s but is struck by a hit and run driver. He’s knocked unconscious and has no ID on him.
ACT 4
Bonding: Jaki locates Ajax at a hospital. He’s now fine but doesn’t want his son to know about the incident. Jaki sneaks him out of the hospital and to her home.
Wounds: Rochelle is livid when Jaki brings Ajax home. A major argument ensues between them and all differences are aired, but –
Surprise: Frightened by her mother and grandmother’s fight, Lilly sneaks from the house.
Sacrifice: Ajax can’t calm the women down to tell them that Lilly has disappeared. He takes it upon himself to go outside to find her – no easy feat since he’s in a wheelchair.
Bonding: When Jaki and Rochelle discover Ajax with Lilly they realize that they need a mediator to settle their differences. Ajax gladly volunteers.
Surprise: Ajax proposes to Jaki.
Surprise: Still at odds with his son, Ajax is about to disown him, but Jaki won’t let him – our kids might be jerks, but they’re our jerks.
Love: Jaki and Ajax get married. Rochelle is matron of honor and Ajax’s still unnamed son is best man.
Surprise: The assisted living home ladies do a surprise dance at the wedding, based on the moves Jaki taught them.
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Teresa Rodriguez’s Emotional Moments
MY VISION: I will become a highly respected, sought-after, and influential writer/producer with my own successful production company that I can leave as a blessing to my children and many generations to come.
THEME: Self-acceptance
LILY’S WOUND: she’s not perfect/not good enough
What I learned from doing this assignment is…that it makes my story so much richer to have at least two emotional moments per act.
ACT ONE:
Bonding/Love: Animals throw Lily a birthday party in the woods. They give her special gifts; one is a memento from her dead mother, who also liked to play in the woods.
Courage/Surprise: Lily eludes menacing palace guards to get into the castle; surprise, she’s the princess.
Excitement: Maids get Lily ready for her big 21st birthday bash as tons of infamous fairytale celebrities arrive and paparazzi swarm.
Distress/Wound: For the first time, Lily will meet the prince her parents betrothed her to marry in a big, televised moment, but he doesn’t show up. It’s a hugely embarrassing moment that the media plays up. So, she must make her grand entrance alone. Traumatized and distressed by the “no show,” Lily slips down the stairs taking out several VIP guests. THE “NO SHOW” TRIGGERS LILY’S WOUND THAT SHE’S NOT PERFECT, NOT GOOD ENOUGH
Betrayal: Her Evil Stepfather had the stairs waxed, setting her up to fail on live TV.
Wound/Distress: Stepfather tells Lily that even her dead mother would be embarrassed by her; she’s such a mess that no wonder the prince didn’t show, and she’ll never make a good ruler. —MAKE THIS SCENE INTENSE; IT TRIGGERS HER WOUND
Betrayal: The Evil Stepfather orders guards to kill Lily. He also plans to harm the villagers.
Courage/Sacrifice: Lily makes an emotional apology to her dead mother for giving up her crown, fakes her own death, escapees the castle, and leaves her royal life behind.
ACT TWO:
Courage/Love: Lily runs into the dark forest alone; the animals lovingly and courageously rescue her and take her to a farm for shelter. MAKE THE ANIMAL RESCUE OF LILY HEARTWARMING
Wound/Betrayal: The farm belongs to the Dwarfs, but they kick her out into the cold dark night because the Evil Stepfather betrayed them, so they no longer like or trust royalty. MAKE THE DWARF’S REJECTION VERY EMOTIONAL FOR LILY; IT TRIGGERS HER WOUND
Distress/Courage: Alone for the first time, Lily must figure out how to survive in the real world. She says goodbye to the old Lily and cuts and dies her hair to disguise herself.
Distress: Lily steals some food, the police are called, and after an intense chase scene, Lily is put in handcuffs. MAKE THE CHASE SCENE INTENSE AND HUMILIATING
ACT THREE:
Distress/Wound: Lily is labeled an “undesirable” and sent to live with other imperfect people in a homeless shelter; she’s alone and scared. The other residents reject her. They think she’s crazy because she talks to the mirrors and is deadly afraid of apples. THE REJECTION TRIGGERS LILY’S WOUND
Bonding: She meets “Prince” it’s an emotional connection, but he tells her that he is already engaged. He teaches her Krav Maga to boost her self-esteem. MAKE THE “CUTE MEET” INTENSELY EMOTIONAL AND UNEXPECTED
Bonding/Courage: Lily is sentenced to do community service at the Dwarf’s farm, and she empresses them by taming and emotionally bonding with their wildest animals, animals that have been wounded by people. MAKE THIS ANIMAL BONDING SCENE EMOTIONAL
Distress/Courage: The Evil Stepfather discovers Lilly is still alive, disguises himself, and tries to poison her. She takes a bite of apple disguised inside a peach tart and collapses. Feeling triumphant, the Stepfather leaves. But Lily jumps up; she faked it all.
Courage/Bonding: Lily, Prince, and The Dwarfs come up with a plan to stop the Evil Stepfather/Duke from stealing the “youth essence” from villagers.
Success/Distress/Wound: They save the villagers, but Prince and The Dwarfs all are captured. Lily makes a mistake that causes Prince to get hurt, and he slips into a coma. THE VILLAGERS BLAME LILY FOR PRINCE’S INJURIES, TRIGGERING HER WOUND
ACT FOUR:
Emotional Dilemma/Wound: The Evil Stepfather gives Lily a public dilemma on national TV; save Prince or The Dwarfs. THIS TRIGGERS LILY’S WOUND
Courage/Success/Winning: Lily recruits the villagers and animals to help her storm the castle and save Prince and The Dwarfs.
Love/Surprise: Although he’s engaged, Lily kisses Prince, and to her surprise, he awakes; she is his true love! Then his mother shows up to explain that they are engaged to each other.
Courage/Success/Winning: Prince encourages Lily to fight her Evil Stepfather, it’s a fight to the death, and she wins. THE STEPFATHER TRIGGERS LILY’S WOUND TO WEAKEN HER DURING THE FIGHT
Surprise: The Evil Stepfather is really an “undesirable.” He barters for his life by telling Lily that her mother is barely alive and where to find her.
Love: Lily saves the Queen’s life in the nick of time. THIS IS AN INTENSE AND EMOTIONAL REUNION
Success: The Mirror proclaims Lily as “the fairest of them all” because she has the purest heart, most courage, and the most inner beauty, which outshines all outer beauty. She is a hero to all the little girls in the kingdom. THIS DEMOLISHES LILY’S WOUND FOR GOOD
Love: Lily and Prince decide to date first before THEY decide if they want to get engaged.
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Renee Brown’s Emotional Moments.
“My scripts are the cream that rise to the top. I am an A-list screenwriter.”
What I learned: Every time I labeled a beat with its emotional value, ideas on how to flesh out the story started streaming in. Also, lead to a new, emotionally charged title search.
THE TASTE OF LONG LOST
(New working title. Formerly Lillian’s Resort Motel)
Star crossed lovers reunite decades later in a small Montana town holding big hearted secrets.
ACT ONE:
Lillian:
Wounds: (1945) Lillian’s Parents are killed in the war.
Surprise / Success and Winning: (1945) WWII is declared over, and the American soldiers come marching through the town during the funeral for Lillian’s parents.
Bonding / Excitement: (1945) During the parade, Lillian catches the American penny that Joe tosses from a tank.
Love: (1945) Lillian and Joe fall in love and marry quickly.
Excitement: Lillian’s best friend gives her a box of postcards from America. Tells her she must see all these places. They banter about how exotic and amazing America will be.
Distress / Betrayal: (1945) When Lillian arrives on the boat in America, Joe is not there to get her.
Emotional Dilemma: (1945) Lillian must decide to get back on the boat or wait in a foreign country for a man she married, that she doesn’t really know, that may or may not show.
Alley and CJ:
Bonding / Love: (2001) Alley and CJ bond over a tray of jewelry stones, they both love the broken one the best. They fall in love at first touch when CJ measures Alley’s neck for the necklace he will make for her.
Bonding / Wounds: (2001) Alley’s tells CJ of her long-lost grandmother, Lillian. How she just disappeared one day. Tells him all she has left of Lillian is the cookie recipe they used to make together. At “their place” on the river, CJ tells Alley about his mom – a cheater. Left him and his dad when he was seven.
Betrayal: (2001) Alley overhears CJ and Charlie slamming one of the singers at open mic. Alley thinks they are talking about her. Alley confronts and leaves CJ on the spot. CJ has no idea why. He accuses Alley of having another lover. Alley is so hurt; she lets him think he is right.
Distress: (2001) Alley marches to “their spot” on the river and throws in the necklace CJ made for her … then immediately regrets it. But it’s gone.
ACT TWO:
Lillian:
Surprise: (1945) Joe shows up at the last minute to the boat deck on a little motorcycle. His car broke down and he traded it for the moto to get there in time.
Distress / Disappointment: (1945) Lillian arrives with Joe at their new home, only to realize her fantasy American adventure lands her in deep woods Nowhere, Mississippi.
Sacrifice: (1945) This is not Lillian’s idea of her American adventure. Lillian packs her bags to bolt, she then finds out she is pregnant. She stays.
Alley and CJ:
Wounds / Distress: (2001) CJ nurses his broken heart in recklessness. He gets drunk with best friend Charlie, his dog gets hit by a truck, and he gets into a near fatal accident while taking Sam (dog) up the mountain to die at home.
Hidden weakness: (2001) Alley can’t take criticism. After the breakup, she abandons her dream of being a singer songwriter and takes up a series of dead-end jobs leading to an apathetic life.
Hidden weakness / Distress: (2001) CJ thinks he fell in love with a cheater, just like his mom was. After he gets out of the hospital, He retreats from Missoula and becomes the grounds keeper at Lillian’s Resort Motel in Soaking Springs, MT. He works there for years, paying down the hospital bills.
Success/Winning: (Present Day) CJ gets his last hospital bill. Now paid in full, he’s free of the whole nightmare and can move on.
Surprise / Distress: (Present Day) CJ spots Alley checking into Lillian’s Resort Motel. You gotta be kidding moment for him.
Distress: (Present Day) Seeing Alley triggers CJ to relive the memories of the breakup and the awful truck accident that followed.
Emotional Dilemma: (Present Day) To show himself to Alley or to hit the road and leave it all behind.
Surprise: (Present Day) Alley tastes the cookies that only she and Lillian know how to make. Lillian is Alley’s long-lost grandma Lillian.
Success: (1946) A very pregnant and homesick Lillian finally nails the cookie recipe that reminds her of the cookies her mom used to make back home.
Courage: (1946) Lillian and Joe’s turn to host family dinner. But the fam doesn’t like her French cooking. She tries to save it with her now perfected cookies, but the banter gets mean, and Joe takes a stand.
ACT THREE:
Bonding: (1980) Lillian tells granddaughter Alley fairytale-like stories about her and Joe while teaching her how to make the cookies.
Distress / Heartbreak: (1990) Joe has a heart attack and dies.
Excitement: (1990) Although heartbroken, Lillian can’t wait to make a run for it –
Courage: Lillian leaves her life behind to chase that American Adventure, she always wanted.
Betrayal: Lillian leaves a note and the postcards for Alley but doesn’t even say goodbye.
Success / Surprise: (1990) Lillian lands in Soaking Springs Montana. Turns out the place she finds to truly belong is another small town in the middle of nowhere. She buys a run-down motel with the money from Joe’s life insurance.
Distress / Shame: (2010) At the age of 83, instead of reuniting with any of the family she abandoned 30 years ago, Lillian sells the Motel and checks herself into a rest home in Missoula.
Alley and CJ: (Present Day)
Courage: At Lillian’s Resort Motel, CJ reveals himself to Alley. He looks different now, because of the accident, and his head scars, his hair doesn’t grow right, so he keeps his head shaved. But he still wears the necklace he made from the other half of the stone Alley picked out when they met.
Betrayal: Alley tells him she threw the necklace that he gave her into the river at “their spot” years ago.
Love: Even in conflict, they feel the old flame to spite themselves.
Wound / Hidden Weakness: After some time, they almost kiss, and CJ asks Alley to play a song for him… She thinks he is making fun of her. They get in a fight about the past. Alley leaves Soaking Springs.
Courage: CJ dives into the river to search for the necklace. It has been waiting, caught on a river wash tree for all these years.
Distress: CJ almost dies in this attempt when the tree breaks free from his efforts and rolls on him.
Courage: CJ takes the necklace to Alley and lays his heart on the line.
Wounds: CJ is rebuffed by a confused Alley. He retreats with his re-broken heart.
Betrayal: Before he goes, CJ tells Alley that Lillian is in a rest home in Missoula (only miles from Alley all these years)
ACT FOUR:
Courage / Success: Alley finds Lillian.
Betrayal: Alley learns the hyper-romantic stories Lillian told her years ago were mostly made up.
Emotional Dilemma / Surprise: Alley realizes she has built her entire concept of love on a foundation of lies.
Hidden Weakness: Alley has rejected her true love, twice!
Courage / Love: Alley swallows her pride, sheds her unrealistic expectations of perfect love, and gives her heart to CJ.
Love: CJ proposes that Alley and he buy Lillian’s Resort Motel together. He finally kisses her with epic abandon.
Love: At the rest home, Lillian drifts off into sleep then into death and is reunited with Joe.
CLOSING:
Success / Winning: Alley and CJ are running Lillian’s Resort Motel and selling Lillian’s cookies.
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Farrin Rosenthal’s Emotional Moments
Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.
What I learned doing this assignment is how characters must deal with positive and negative emotions. These emotions are what affect the audience and we use them to take both the protagonist and audience on an emotional roller coaster ride. Having strong emotional moments in each act keeps the audience engaged to the point they want to know what will happen next and how the story will end. My story contains many emotional moments and I list the main ones below, but will have to fill in all the ones in between.
Title: TRAPPED
Genre: Thriller
Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.
Emotional Moments
Act 1:
Courage: Tom confronts a thief who pulls a knife and must protect the store, employees, and customers. His life and others are at stake.
Sacrifice: Tom gets in a fight with his wife over his penny-pinching ways in front of their kids. This is not the first time it has happened.
Distress: Tom and his family are kidnapped by mysterious figures. Who took them and why?
Act 2:
Distress: Tom is trapped in an underwater grave and has 60 minutes to prove his innocence, or he and his family will die!
Wound: Tom’s confinement triggers his claustrophobia, makes him panic, hyperventilate. We see how he was trapped in an elevator by himself as a teenager.
Courage/Distress: Tom must face his fear to save his family. Seeks help by calling 911 but is put on hold, and once connected, doesn’t know where he is, and police can’t find him. He’s fucked, can’t escape!
Act 3:
Distress: Tom’s underwater grave begins to fill with what else? Water! His fucked factor is increasing!
Courage: Tom tries to stand up to Dmitriy but fails.
Emotional Dilemma/Sacrifice: With time and air running out, Tom must lie and confess at the very last second to something he did not do to escape. Water fills the box completely; he must hold breath. Will he survive?
Act 4:
Betrayal/Distress: Tom is shocked to find out he was setup by his wife and her lover, Ivan!
Courage/Love: Tom must fight Ivan to the death to protect his kids.
Success/Winning: Tom kills Ivan, saves his kids,
and his betraying bitch of a wife ends up in the underwater grave where she
belongs! -
Tom’s Emotional Moments
When working with producers and changes must be made, I prepare a list of imaginative solutions.
Doing this assignment, I learned a lot by highlighting the emotion as the characters experience them.
Title: E. T. SEEDS
Emotional Moments
Act 1
Surprise: Both Navy Seals John and Mel are amazed when Mel, who was wounded in a fire fight in Afghanistan, shouts words even he doesn’t understand.
Excitement: When John and Mel are at football practice, they horse around on the playing field.
Success: John and Mel are among the Seal school graduates celebrating after the formal ceremonies.
Act 2
Emotional Dilemma: Does Phil dare touch the container? It’s like nothing ever seen before on Earth.
Excitement: Phil can’t believe how unusual, how magical the seeds are
Courage: Phil can’t believe he’s seeing the hologram morph into a person who walks around.
Act 3
Excitement: They can’t believe how healthy the plants look and how rapidly they are growing.
Distress: Phil and John are overwhelmed at the extent of the damage. They rebuild around the clock.
Act 4
Love: John forgives Susan for not believing in him.
Distress: Phil dies. John and Mel are in tears.
Grief: When John and Mel lay Phil’s body on the raft, they are numb with sorrow.
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Lori’s Emotional Moments
Vision: I want to be a professional screenwriter recognized by the industry as the go-to for family-friendly scripts and have multiple successful movies produced.
What I learned is to think in terms of how the audience will be affected emotionally.
Act 1:
Surprise: Alex causes trouble at the lab where she was created. Alex sneaks into an engineer’s office to play mind games with him.
Bounding: She shares her desire to become part of a family.
Wound: Alex is told that she can never be a part of a family.
Excitement: Meanwhile, across town, it’s a hectic family morning for the Logans with news that Claire is returning to work after years of being a stay-at-home mom.
Distress: The rest of the family doesn’t share Claire’s enthusiasm.
Wound: New neighbors move next door to the Logans and appear to be the perfect couple, putting the Logans to shame.
Emotional Dilemma: Brad stresses about his wife returning to work but doesn’t want to seem selfish. He openly supports her but comes off as insincere. This annoys Claire and then makes her question what she wants.
Hidden weakness: She contemplates how things could go wrong. She emphasizes to the family the importance of cleaning up their own messes.
Wound: Claire feels taken advantage of and thinks her needs are always put on the back burner.
Betrayal: Brad’s identity is in his career, and he wants his success to be enough for Claire.
Surprise: After Alex’s creator gets fired, Alex decides she will take her life into her own hands. She hacks into the company’s computer, places herself in a category of AI housemaids, and then assigns herself an family, the Logans. To seal the deal, she offers the family a two-week free trial.
Surprise: Claire must leave for training for two weeks, meaning Brad and the kids will be on their own.
Bonding/ Love: Claire packs to leave and says “goodbyes.” Brad and Claire have a tender moment together as they say goodbye.
Excitement: The kids beg Brad to hire an AI, and as “luck” would have it, they get approved for a free two-week trial.
Surprise: Claire gives her blessing and secretly hopes the AI will get the house and family in order.
Surprise: Alex has real emotions but doesn’t know how to control them.
Excitement: Alex shows up at the Logan home and charms the family. It’s all fun and games at first and seems too good to be true, knowing how Alex can manipulate people. At first, Brad sees Alex as a high-tech toy. He is happy to see his kids getting along well with the AI. He loves the excitement the AI adds to their lives.
Moral Issue: Brad feels guilty for being attracted to her.
Excitement: Alex is a “fish out of water,” and she sees everything as new and exciting. Alex tries to be the perfect homemaker and fails terribly in the most hilarious ways.
Surprise: She starts asking questions like, “Who is she?” “What is her purpose?” “Where does she belong?” Alex discovers her fear of being alone and her desire to create.
Emotional Dilemma: Claire feels some jealousy toward Alex.
Act 2:
Surprise: Unbeknownst to the family, Alex wants to permanently take the mom’s place. The audience knows Alex will go to great lengths to get her way. There’s no telling what she will do. Alex has rapidly changing emotions that she doesn’t know what to do with and that others have difficulty reading.
Moral Issue/ Betrayal: Brad is confused as his attraction for Alex escalates and tries to avoid her when possible. However, her attention is giving his ego a boost.
Surprise/ Excitement: Alex discovers her power over men and plans to use it to her advantage.
Wound/ Hidden Weakness: She possibly fails in this area too. Alex becomes overly sensitive to criticism and stops trusting others.
Moral Issue: Alex becomes impulsive and starts living for the moment. She plays mind games with Brad.
Distress: Claire misses her family, and her new job quickly disappoints her. She faces a truckload of emotions: fear, shame, grief. Claire deals with office politics.
Distress: Alex taunts Claire with fake pictures.
Emotional Dilemma: Claire’s anger/jealousy toward Alex is growing.
Surprise: The AI plans to eliminate Claire, thinking she can take her place as wife and mother.
Excitement: The family discovers the AI’s evil plan. The kids hatch a plan to find a way to shut Alex down.
Moral Issue: The danger of AI.
Act 3:
Surprise/ Excitement: The family and house are being destroyed.
Distress: Brad misses his wife and feels guilty about how things have unfolded. What he cares about most is in jeopardy.
Excitement: Alex is mad at the family and is now out for revenge.
Surprise: Claire has a confidence boost at work, and she calls Brad to share, but he doesn’t answer.
Distress: Claire becomes worried when she can’t get ahold of anyone in the family. Just when Momma Bear is ready to attack, she gets sent on a wild goose chase thanks to the AI.
Emotional Dilemma: Claire again questions her choice of going back to work.
Wounds: The AI is mad at the family and is now out for revenge.
Excitement: While her previous endeavors failed, she is successful at destroying everything around her.
Wound: Brad is angry that he was fooled by the AI and wants to protect his family.
Excitement: The family tries to get rid of the AI, which proves hard to do.
Wound: Alex is an emotional wreck and doesn’t know what to do with her big feelings.
Distress: Brad gets a reality check as he must decide what kind of man he wants to be. He tries to reach out to Claire but can’t reach her. He tries to protect the children.
Bonding: The family must find a new way to work together, putting their differences aside and working together for a common goal.
Emotional Dilemma: Brad needs to connect emotionally with his family.
Wound: Why can’t they be more like the new neighbors?
Excitement: Claire desperately tries to get back home as she fears something awful has happened. Claire’s desperation grows as she has to go through a series of failed attempts to get home.
Love: Family is worth fighting for.
Wounds/ Emotional Dilemma: Brad reflects on the time he’s lost with his family and tries to connect emotionally with the kids.
Act 4 –
Excitement/ Courage/Love: Brad leads his kids, and it’s one last fight to the “death” to get rid of the AI. Claire returns home to fight alongside her family against the AI. Claire gets to take the final blow.
Success/ Winning: Noone’s taking her place.
Surprise: Alex leaves the Logan family and finds the engineer that created her in hopes of starting a family with him.
Wound: Alex is crushed and still longs for connection.
Betrayal/ Sacrifice/ Surprise: The engineer knows what Alex is capable of and how his invention could potentially ruin humanity. He makes the painful decision to destroy her.
Success/ Winning/ Love: The Logan family works together to find a new normal that works for the whole family.
Surprise: Claire decides she wants to work from home, and her family is very supportive.
Surprise: The new neighbors aren’t what they seem. The wife is an AI.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Lori Lance.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by
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Claudia’s EMOTIONAL MOMENTS!
Vision: To become such an excellent writer that I know every script I write will be well received by the industry, that my scripts will sell and be produced, and I’ll live the life of my dreams. To also become so empowered that fear is to be laughed at, instead I relish and look forward to pitching, meetings and much more.
What I’ve Learned Doing This Assignment: you need strong emotional moments so that both the character’s journey AND the viewer’s journey are satisfying.
Act 1:
Wound: Abby is suffering from a fear of germs and it’s affecting every area of her life. She even has to put booties of her dog. She’s afraid of going out in front of audiences/TV so she’s put off her dreams.
Distress: Abby’s Dad has had a heart attack and Abby has an anxiety attack as she rushes to his bedside.
Moral Issue/Sacrifice: Abby must give up her dreams (at least temporarily) to take over the family business.
Act 2:
Hidden Weakness: Abby gets into an argument with the maids, they just laugh at her, she feels completely inadequate to spur them to action.
Distress: Abby does the books and realizes the business is in trouble.
Surprise: through a flashback we see what happened to cause Abby’s phobia and deep wound.
Bonding/Love: Jack and Abby are thrown together and feel a mutual attraction. Jack helps her dad feign sleeping to avoid Abby. Jack takes Abby to his workplace. Moving furniture for kids.
Surprise: Abby is cleaning a home and realizes it’s Jack’s place! He’s a border line hoarder.
Betrayal: Boomer is paying the maids to call out sick so Abby’s business fails.
Act 3:
Win/Courage: When Abby has no help, she dons the gear and cleans the places herself.
Bonding/Love: Jack and Abby’s relationship grows. Jack admits his wound and that he’s in therapy.
Moral Issue: Boomer gets the books. He has to steal the business from Abby, but he hates having to hurt his friends to make his father happy.
Act 4:
Betrayal: Abby and Jack find out that Boomer is behind the takeover. Abby blames Jack for bringing Boomer into the fold.
Excitement: fist fight between Jack and Boomer.
Distress: Abby has to handle big job by herself.
Wound: Abby goes to maids, apologizing.
Winning/Success: The Event goes off great. Abby’s business gets a HUGE contract. The maids are given raises and respect.
Love: Jack shows up in a Tux to help, they kiss.
Winning/Success: Abby’s dream is moved forward. She’s fighting against her fears and WINNING.
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Leona Heraty’s Emotional Moments
My Vision: To be the best family comedy screenwriter in the industry where my screenplays are produced into fabulous movies and my audiences laugh a lot and I become independently wealthy!
What I learned from doing this assignment is…adding actions that cause emotions makes the beats of my outline more exciting and fun!
Title: Tara vs. the Termo-Lytes
Genre: Comedy (Sci-fi)
Concept: A teenage tour guide with no sense of direction and an extreme fear of bugs takes a wrong turn and leads her group to an abandoned country club overrun by giant mutant termites.ACT 1: Tara takes a wrong turn!
1. Mirth/Surprise: Big Betty/The Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ1: The toxic green goo oozes onto her and her clan and they come alive!
2. Surprise: Big Betty starts to grow and smiles like a Cheshire cat when her clan start to grow too.
3. Mirth: Big Betty pulls out a nail file and starts to sharpen her nails and laughs. She picks up a hand mirror and admires herself in the mirror.
4. Mirth: Big Betty HUMS then leads the clan in a HUM-A-LONG. ADD FUNNY SONG.
Deeper Layer: The green goo is dangerous because it brings termites back to life and makes them bigger!
5. Surprise/Mirth: Tara PJ 1: A bug flies into Tara’s car and she runs her car up on a curb, jumps out and climbs a tree as the bug follows her.
6. Mirth: A cop and a few people nearby laugh at Tara. FUNNY SCENE
7. Surprise/Mirth: While up in the tree, Tara gets a cell phone call from her Mom, reminding her that Max and Clare are at her house for the pool party.
8. Tara drives up to her house and parks, hearing laughter from her backyard.
9. Tara goes through the backyard gate, munching on Cheez-Its.
10. Surprise/Mirth: Davy is hiding behind a plant. He jumps out and scares her and he screams and her Cheeze-Its fly everywhere as Davy laughs. Tara’s best friend, Clare, and Clare’s cousin, Max, are at a table near the pool, getting food. Tara’s Mom and Dad serving non-alcoholic cocktails. They laugh too.
11. Annoyance: Tara PJ 2: Tara scowls when Davy grabs a handful of M&M’s in a bowl on the table, pops them in his mouth and says on the table with the snacks and Davy says he can smell chocolate a mile away.
12. Surprise/Mirth: Davy does a cannon ball jump into the pool, then makes a pest out of himself as everyone laughs, except Tara.
13. Annoyance/Mirth: Davy demands better snacks as Tara picks up the Cheeze-Its on the ground and rolls her eyes and groans. Davy complains that there’s no almond butter for his Hershey’s chocolate bar. Tara tells him to take it up with the Management as Tara’s Mom and Dad laugh.
14. Mirth: Tara’s Dad says they’ll be sure to pick up more peanut butter at Jensen’s as he chuckles with Tara’s Mom.
15. Success: Davy redeems himself by fixing the spraying floating pool filter and the broken Tiki torches. They get the tiki torches lit up and the music playing. Note: In Act 4, Davy fixes broken croquet mallets by wrapping them with palm fronds from the outside pool.
16. Surprise/Mirth: CRACK! Lightning strikes on the horizon. Everyone jumps. It’s a summer Monsoon. They grab the food and drinks and laugh as they run inside as starts to rain and the group runs inside and plops on the couch.
17. Surprise/Annoyance: Davy grabs the remote control out of Tara’s hand as she scowls and tries to get it back but he’s too fast. He selects Amazon Prime and orders THEM!
18. Fear/Mirth: As the movie starts and the giant ants show up and make a loud HUMMING sound, Tara hides her face behind her a pink and purple magic unicorn pillow. Davy pokes fun of her and Tara’s Mom laughs and brings in snacks.
19. Appalled/Mirth: Davy demands peanut butter since they don’t have almond butter to dip his Hershey’s bar in while Tara and Clare and Max look at him with big eyes and open mouths and shake their heads as Tara’s Mom and Dad laugh and her Dad goes in the kitchen and brings back some peanut butter for Davy, to his delight.
20. Fear/Relief/Joy: Tara shudders at the giant ants in THEM! She distracts Davy, grabs the remote from his hand and switches to a Rom/Com, then puts down her pillow and smiles.
21. Surprise/Frustration/Indifference/Mirth: Davy grabs the remote and switches it back to THEM! Tara protests and throws her pillow at Davy, who dodges it and ignores her and stuffs his face with snacks. Tara and her friends stare at Davy as Tara’s parents chuckle.
22. Compliant/Annoyance: Tara’s Dad reminds her that Davy is their guest as Tara nods her understanding to her parents but makes a face at Davy.
23. Mirth: Tara says guest rhymes with pest as she makes a face at Davy as everyone laughs.
24. Annoyance/Avoidance: Tara PJ 3: Tara’s Mom and Dad mention the Home Garden Tour in a few days and reminds her she’s a backup driver. She rolls her eyes and changes the subject.
25. Tara’s Mom shows her a map for the tour. Each group goes to a different area, then switches the next day to tour a different group of home gardens.
26. Embarrassment: Tara turns red and changes the subject again.
Deeper Layer: Tara is embarrassed because she can’t read a map, so she changes the subject.
27. Happiness: Davy says he might go on the tour with his grandmother. Tara’s Mom says she really likes Davy’s grandmother, Meg, and the garden tour is in two days as she smiles and says it will be a lot of fun for the garden club members.
28. Sadness/Defeat: Davy says he wishes his parents can go but they have abandoned him for the summer as he slumps and frowns. Tara’s Mom says that can’t be true and gives him a hug.
29. Clare reminds Tara that they’re going on a post-graduation trip to Disneyland on Wed, the same day as the garden tour.
30. Embarrassment/Disgust: Max says he’d like to ride the Pirates of the Caribbean with Tara and she blushes and Davy groans and Tara throws popcorn at him.
31. Frustration/Anger/Appalled: Wed morning at the garden club, Tad, Peg’s “gentleman friend” drives up in his beater car, and it’s clear he’s really hung over and he says he has a splitting headache. He waves at Meg then gets in his back seat and falls asleep as Meg yells at him and the crows stares, eyes wide open.
32. Frustration/Anger: Meg can’t drive because she has a cast on her leg from a broken ankle and she wrings her hands. She tries to wake up Tad but he’s fast asleep and snoring. Meg scowls at him. All the cars are full up and leaving. Tara’s Mom is driving one car, and Tara’s Dad is driving another.
33. Excitement: Tara and Clare and Max are at Tara’s house, loading up the car with snacks as they tease each other and laugh as they prepare for the road trip to Disneyland.
34. Frustration/Sacrifice: Tara gets the call from her Mom that they need her to drive two members since they can’t fit in her car. She doesn’t want to do it but her Mom guilts her into driving so she agrees to do it.
INCITING INCIDENT: Tara’s parents coerce her into driving the tour group, despite her protests of not being able to read a map.
35. Frustration/Annoyance: Tara shows up at the Garden Club, and scowls and moans when she sees Davy and Peg. Mom hugs her and gives her the map and says she’ll be fine. They’ll all meet back at the club at 6 pm for dinner.
36. Mirth/Hopeful/Frustration/Sacrifice/Mirth/Winning: Tara PJ 4: Tara sneezes and says she’s coming down with a cold and she doesn’t want to get Meg and Davy sick. Her Mom chuckles and says just a few minutes ago, Tara was well enough to go to Disneyland. Tara’s smile turns to a frown when Tara’s Mom takes her temperature and it’s normal. She scowls then agrees to drive Davy and his grandmother, Meg, on the home garden tour. Davy laughs and sticks his tongue out at Tara.
37. Grateful/Mirth: Meg hugs Tara and thanks her, then smiles and makes up a green spirulina shake for Tara to help her cold. Meg says she’s been mixing up a lot of green goo lately…to drink! HUMOR. FORESHADOWING.
Note: Whenever Meg has a sip of the green shake, she repeats a FUNNY PHRASE.
38. Annoyance: In the car, Davy drives Tara crazy with his constant bragging that he can fix anything, and that Tara’s car is making noises and needs a tune up. FORESHADOWING
39. Annoyance: Tara is so annoyed at Davy, she says it would be better if he’s not around.
40. Sadness/Confused/Hopeful: Davy gets quiet and says his parents have abandoned him. Tara is puzzled, Tara says she’s just joking and fluffs his hair and says it’s OK and gets cheerful and says they’ll have fun today, and Davy perks up and smiles.
41. Mirth: Meg says Davy has an overactive imagination and laughs. FORESHADOWING.
42. Surprise/Frustration/Disgust: TURNING POINT 1: On the drive, a storm starts, the map blows out of Tara’s hands and out the window as she yells and Tara’s cell phone goes dead and she yells. Peg doesn’t believe in cell phones so she doesn’t have one and Davy forgot his at home as Tara rolls her eyes.
43. Frustration/Embarrassment: Tara makes a wrong turn and they end up at the abandoned Laguna Mountains Country club, built in 1925. SPEAKEASY REPUTATION. Tara groans and turns red.
ACT 2: Tara comes face-to-face with her greatest fear: giant bugs!
44. Fear: They pull up to the country club reception area, and get out of the car, Tara gets spooked and says she hears HUMMING, like bugs and something’s not right. Meg says she knows she’s been here before, when times were much better…long ago.
45. Fear/Frustration: Tara jumps back in her car and says this place is bad news and tells Meg and Davy to get in. She tears around the circular driveway and runs over a big metal rake and pops a tire and yells.
46. Fear/Surprise/Mirth: Tara jumps in the backseat and puts her magic unicorn pillow over her head as Davy and Meg stare at her and laugh.
47. Hopeful: Meg says they should go inside and see if there’s electricity, so Tara can charge her phone.
48. Dilemma/Fear: Meg coaxes Tara out of the backseat. Meg tries to coax her into the lobby/reception. Tara hesitates but says she she’s a devout coward, and although this place gives her the creeps, she doesn’t want to be in the parking lot alone.
49. Hopeful/Surprise: Meg smiles says once the phone is charged, they’ll call for help. They hear loud HUMMING near them and they all jump and look around, wide-eyed.
50. Mirth: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ2: In the tunnel under the dining room, Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes are now 8 feet tall as they dance around and laugh.
51. Joyful: Big Betty is SINGING A FUNNY SONG.
52. Happy/Mirth: Big Betty sniffs the air and says she smells brunch! She puts on a big apron and HUMS loudly and laughs as the other Termo-Lytes join laugh!
53. Love/Enthusiastic/Bravery: Big Betty pledges her love to her Termo-Lyte Clan as she hugs the Termo-Lytes. As the Queen, she will lead the charge so they thrive and survive. She picks up something and charges around like it’s a sword as everyone laughs.
54. Fear: Tara PJ 5: Tara says this place gives her the creeps and she shivers as she tries to run out the front door.
55. Distress/Relief: Meg stops Tara and says they need to seek shelter or Tara’s cold could turn into pneumonia. Tara starts to sneeze and she grabs her Cheeze-Its out of her backpack and starts munching on them and then she calms down.
56. Reassuring: Tara PJ 6: Tara questions how Meg seems to know her way around the country club. FORESHADOWING. Meg smiles and pats Tara’s arm and says she’s been in so many country clubs in her day, they’re all alike.57. Mirth: Davy rustles in his backpack and pulls out a Baby Ruth and gobbles it down and laughs and shrugs.
58. Disbelief: Tara offers Cheez-Its to Davy and Meg but Davy says it’s junk food and politely declines the snacks and Tara and Meg stare at him in disbelief as she takes a few Cheeze-Its.
59. Contentment: In the tunnel under the lobby, Big Betty and her Termo-Lytes are MUNCHING LOUDLY on FOOD left over…provisions and HUMMING.
60. Surprise/Fear: Tara and Davy and Meg get jump and look around when they hear LOUD MUNCHING and HUMMING sounds.
61. Fear/Calmness: They try to run out but Meg stops them and says it’s just the wind blowing the palm trees against the building and they calm down. Meg reminds them they need to find a working outlet to charge Tara’s phone and call for help.
62. Excitement: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ3: Big Betty and her clan are in a tunnel, planning a feast, moving here and there.
63. Mirth/Love/Excitement: Big Betty is picking pots and pans out of boxes and off of shelves and throws them at the Termo-Lytes to catch. She smiles sweetly, then has an evil grin and LAUGHS.
64. Fear: Tara and the group are in the lobby, directly over Big Betty and her clan and they hear odd sounds that sound like a LAUGH and their eyes open wide as they look around them.
65. Frustration: Tara argues with Meg and says they need to get out of there and Davy says he agrees with Tara. Meg says it’s just the wind blowing the palm trees outside and not to worry and that old buildings always have strange sounds.
66. Surprise/Compliant: Big Betty hears Tara and the group arguing and shushes the Termo-Lytes. They get quiet.
67. Mirth: Big Betty grins widely, and smothers a LAUGH as green goo slips off of her body and onto the floor.
68. Mirth: Big Betty dips her long fingernail in the green goo and writes BRUNCH in giant letters on the wall and draws an arrow pointing upward and smiles.
69. Happiness/Compliance: The Termo-Lytes smile and nod yes and put their bibs on!
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes are carnivores and they plan to eat Tara and the group for brunch!
70. Surprise/Hesitation: Tara leans against a secret panel by the fireplace and screams as she falls into a hidden staircase and rolls down it into the tunnel. Meg and Davy hesitate, but hear Tara’s moans and then follow her down the staircase and into the tunnel.
72. Fear: Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Tara PJ 7: Tara and the group come face-to-face with Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes! Big Betty leans over Tara and smacks her lips and smiles as Tara shrinks back and tries to scream but can’t.
73. Excitement: Big Betty smiles and says, “Oh goody, brunch is served!” as she claps her hands to rally the Termo-Lytes.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 3: Tara and the group must fight for their lives to stay alive!
Note: Add: chase scenes through the tunnels,
Add: Tara hides in a speakeasy bar in a secret room off of the kitchen.
Add: Tara gets chased to a speakeasy cave filled with booze. She grabs a couple bottles of booze and stuffs them in her backpack. She uses Meg’s lighter to make a Molotov cocktails to distract Big Betty.
Add: Tara tells Meg to hide in the caddy shack while she and Dave sneak out to the croquet lawn and he grabs the broken mallets and some palm fronds from the outdoor pool74. Fear/Mirth: Tara screams and tries to run but Big Betty’s big arms block her way and laughs.
75. Prideful: Big Betty introduces herself and her clan, the newly revived Termo-Lytes, who started out 1 million years ago as she puffs out her chest. She invites them to stay for brunch and LAUGHS.
76. Fear: Tara PJ 8: Tara sees BRUNCH and the arrow scrawled on the all as her eyes get big and she can’t speak.
77. Nervousness/Fear/Resolve: As Meg shakes and taps her foot and lights up a cigarette and she and Davy cower as the Termo-Lytes surround them, Tara snaps out of her fear and says they’re going to be lunch if they don’t get out of there fast!
78. Disgust/Mirth: Big Betty frowns and grabs the cigarette out of Meg’s hand and points to a NO SMOKING sign down the hall and LAUGHS. She says, “Don’t you know smoking is bad for your health?”
79. Mirth/Anger: While Big Betty is distracted by laughing at her own joke, Tara grabs Meg’s crutches and hits Big Betty on one of her giant painted red toenails, pissing off the Queen of the Termo-Lytes.
80. Fear/Firth: Davy says they need to run for their lives and Big Betty picks him up and examines him then puts him down as he shakes. She says he’s a little chubby and will make an excellent desert for their Summer Solstice feast and she laughs.
81. Confident/Brave/Hopeful: Davy swaggers smiles and tries to charm Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes by offering to fix the broken door above them.
82. Betrayal: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ4: Big Betty turns on the charm, turning beautiful colors as she welcomes them to her humble home.
83. Charmed: Tara is dazzled by Big Betty’s lovely colors and falls under her spell for a moment, and tells Davy and Meg that maybe Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes just want to be friends, and they mean no harm, and they’ve invited them to their Summer Solstice brunch so they must be nice after all.
84. Suspicious: Davy says he might be a pest but he knows a predator when he sees one. He tells Tara to snap out of it and he pulls her hair and snaps her out of her trance.
85. Expectant: The Termo-Lytes look hungry and advance on them, holding forks and knives and bibs on.
86. Covert: Big Betty holds her clan back and says they act like children and not to worry, they’re herbivores anyway and gives them a Cheshire Cat grin.
87. Fear: Tara PJ 9: Tara tries to run away but the bottom of the stairs is blocked by Big Betty.
88. Excitement/Deceitful: Big Betty insists that Tara and her friends stay for their Summer Solstice Feast. They will be her guests of honor! It’s at the big outdoor pool and patio nearby.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty won’t let Tara and the group leave. They’re trapped!
89. Excitement/Anticipation: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ5: Big Betty reassures the group and talks about the “feast” of the Summer Solstice and how they’ll have all kinds of “yummy treats.” The Summer Solstice happens in one hour, at
12 pm, when the sun strikes the top line on the tiki totem by the pool.90. Excitement: Big Betty talks about “future plans” and “goals” to “make things better around here for her clan. They need more food to have baby Termo-Lytes and help them grow up to 8 feet.
91. Surprise: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ6: Meg’s water bottle filled with her green spirulina shake rolls out of her purse.
92. Excitement: Big Betty snatches it up. She admires it then open takes a swig and says green is her new “fave” color!
93. Anger: Big Betty grows one foot taller and turns dark red and orange flashing colors. Her eyes flash red. Big Betty gets mean and scary.
94. Love: Big Betty pours the rest of the green shake on the floor and tells the clan to have some.
95. Mirth/Excitement: The Termo-Lytes lap up the green goo and grow one foot taller too as Big Betty laughs and cheers them on.
96. Menacing: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes advance on Tara and Davy and Meg.
97. Mirth/Joy: Big Betty starts to HUM loudly and the Termo-Lytes join her in a Hum-a-long. Note: Add a funny SONG.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty was lying! She and the Termo-Lytes are carnivores and they plan to eat Tara and her group for brunch!98. Covert: Tara PJ 10: Davy starts munching on a Baby Ruth and offers Big Betty one.
99. Mirth: Big Betty snatches it out of Davy’s hand and gobbles it down. She tells Davy too many sweets with rot his teeth. She smiles sweetly as her sharp pointed teeth glisten and laughs.
100. Fear/Mirth/Betrayal: Big Betty advances on Davy as he shrinks back and she tries to snatch him up. She LAUGHS and says she lied, she is an omnivore after all.
101. Hopeful: Tara grabs Davy’s stash of candy bars out of his backpack and hurls them towards the other end of the tunnel.
102. Excitement: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ7: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes chase after the candy bars.
103. Winning: Tara PJ 11: Tara dashes for the stairs and motions for Meg and Davy to follow her.
104. Winning: Tara and the group run up the stairs and slam the door behind them as Big Betty and the Termo—Lytes almost catch them but are too big to fit through the secret door at the top of the stairs.
105. Conniving: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ8: Big Betty tells the Termo-Lytes to follow her as she lumbers down the tunnel.
106. Excitement/Mirth: Big Betty yells, “The feast must go on! Summer Solstice is just around the corner! Those humanoids will be our main course!” and she laughs.
107. Excitement: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes exit the building and run towards a large outdoor pool with a patio area. The pool filled with palm fronds and flowers from nearby trees.108. Excitement/Mirth/Joy: Big Betty motions to a sign that says Big Betty’s Summer Solstice Wing-Ding! There’s a big pot that’s boiling soup over a pile of wood. The pot gives off steam and Big Betty pulls out a giant ladle and tastes the liquid and says it needs more flavor, and humanoids will give it just the kick it needs. She does a dance and the Termo-Lytes join in with her dance.
109. Bonding: Tara PJ 12: Tara and Davy helps Meg on her crutches as they slowly make their way a hallway off the lobby.
110. Success: Meg sees a sign that says KITCHEN and they hide in the large industrial kitchen.
111. Courageous: Tara gets her courage up and finds a light switch and it lights up the room. She searches for weapons on the shelves that are stocked with giant cans of food. She pulls a giant can of olive oil off the shelf and the shelf swings open and reveals a secret room behind the kitchen.
112. Excitement/Surprise/Admiration: Tara, Davy and Meg go into the secret room and stop and their eyes open wide and Tara whistles. The room has a vintage bar and bottles of booze and a roulette table. At the bar is a makeshift lab, where there are all sorts of sizes of bottles and jars and a jar labeled SPIRULINA. It looks like Dr. Frankenstein’s laboratory and somebody has been experimenting with different herbs and spirulina.
113. Suspicious: Meg says this must be an old speakeasy bar, from the 1920s, when the country club was built. Tara questions how Meg can know so much about this place.
114. Suspicious/Embarrassment: Tara says the jar of SPIRULINA looks like the same stuff that Meg made Tara’s cold recovery shake out of and Meg turns red and changes the subject, but Tara said maybe that’s what’s making Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes get bigger and meaner.
115. Nervous/Deceitful: Meg lights up a cigarette and her hand shakes as she dismisses the idea and says it must be some toxic pesticide that’s making Big Betty and her clan so big and she says they should look for a good outlet to charge Tara’s phone.
116. Excitement: Davy smells chocolate and wanders away without Tara and Meg noticing. He walks down the hallway and follows his nose to a sign that says POOL THIS WAY.
117. Conniving: Near the pool, Big Betty pushes a vending machine closer to the patio. The vending machine has Butterfingers and Baby Ruth’s.
ACT 3: TURNING POINT
118. Contentment/Surprise: Davy smells the chocolate and smiles and walks to the vending machine and Big Betty sneaks up behind him and snatches him as he SCREAMS FOR HELP! ALL IS LOST!ACT 4: Tara saves Davy and they kill Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes!
119. Conniving/Fear/Deceitful: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ9: Big Betty drops Davy into the pool full of palm fronds and flowers as he yells for help. She says he’ll be safe until the Summer Solstice brunch in 30 minutes.
Note: Add a scene where Meg and Tara get in a golf cart and Tara pushes her down a hill, where she runs over Big Betty’s toes and Big Betty runs after them and trips on something and gets stopped by a tennis court net. Add scene where Davy and Meg and are chased by Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes to through a winding tunnel, where Tara freezes up and then end up at a cave built into the mountain, which is Big Betty’s boudoir, or her bedroom. Big Betty reveals she and her Termo-Lytes were the bugs crawling on Tara’s leg when she was 5 years old when she got lost at the Halloween corn maze and she taunts Tara that she was a coward then and she’s still a coward. Tara gets mad and YELLS back at Big Betty and decides to fight with all her might.
120. Winning: Tara and Meg hear Davy’s SCREAMS and she grabs some cloth napkins, opens some bottles of booze and grabs Meg’s lighter out of her hands and says come on, we need to rescue Davy.
121. Courageous/Winning/Anger: Tara uses the bottles of scotch and Meg’s lighter to make Molotov cocktails, which she hurls at Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes, pissing them off even more.
122. Excitement/Mirth/Betrayal: Big Betty dances and sings and HUMS as the the Termo-Lytes join her in her joy and prepare for their summer solstice feast at a covered patio next to outdoor pool.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes will be celebrating their return to the living!
123. Courageous: Tara PJ 12: Tara sneaks outside and grabs some croquet balls in a grassy area near the pool.
124. Courageous/Winning: Tara hurls some of the balls them at Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes to get their attention.
125. Deceived: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ10: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes run away to catch the croquet balls.
126. Courageous/Winning: Tara PJ 13: Tara rescues Davy from the pool WITH WHAT?
127. Excitement: Tara and Davy run back to the speakeasy lab where Meg is mixing potions.
128. Embarrassment/Defeat: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ9: Meg shakes and then she breaks down and cries and calls herself a loser as she tells Tara and Davy that she owns the country club and the story behind the green goo.
129. Love/Bonding: Tara PJ 14: Tara and Davy comfort her and the three have a group hug.
130. Shock/Regret: Meg says was making a green substance to create an eco-friendly way to kills termites but the spirulina makes them grow! She had no idea and didn’t mean for them to grow and know she’s afraid of what she’s done and the consequences.
131. Surprise/Excitement/Winning: Tara PJ 15: Tara yells with joy as she points to a turned over bottle of Turmeric that fell on a plant and it’s dying fast.
132. Hopeful: Tara says they can dip the croquet balls in olive oil and sprinkle them with Turmeric. It might kill the Termo-Lytes.
133. Mirth/Joy/Anticipation: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ11: Big Betty is on the patio area near the pool, where she leads them in a SING-A-LONG. A clock shows 11:55 a.m. It’s five minutes until the Summer Solstice.
134. Compliant: The Termo-Lytes follow Big Betty’s orders and quickly set up the tables and decorations for the Summer Solstice Feast.
135. Excitement/Joy/Anticipation: Big Betty motions that the big soup pot is boiling over and ready and she does a victory lap around the pool. She just needs to search for the humanoids to flavor the pot, who can’t be far away. It’s almost 12 pm – the exact hour when the sun cover the half-way Summer Solstice mark on the tall totem by the pool.
136. Joy/Mirth: Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes dance around the totem and sign a FUNNY BUG SONG.
137. Anticipation: Big Betty looks at her watch and announces it 12 pm, the Summer Solstice.
138. The sun casts a shadow on the mark on the totem where it says SUMMER SOLTICE.
139. Joy/Mirth: Big Betty says welcome Summer Solstice! The Termo-Lytes go crazy in a frenetic dance!
140. Courageous/Surprise: Tara PJ 16: Tara and the rush out outside and hurl the croquet balls dipped in olive oil and turmeric at the Termo-Lytes.
141. Betrayal/Suspicious: The Termo-Lytes gobble up the poisoned croquet balls and die one by one, except for Betty, who is too smart to eat the balls.
142. Rage/Viciousness: Big Betty is enraged and turns red and orange and advances on them, nails out and teeth gleaming.
143. Suspicious: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ12: Big Betty pops a poisoned croquet ball into her mouth, but doesn’t swallow it.
144. Deceitful: Big Betty falls on the ground and rolls around and fakes like she’s dying to get their sympathy.
145. Sympathetic/Comforting/Bonding: Tara falls for Big Betty’s crying routine and starts to pat her foot to comfort her.
146. Surprise/Fear/Menacing: Big Betty grabs Tara as Tara screams and she threatens to eat her!
147. Deceitful/Mirth: Big Betty spits out the poisoned croquet ball sits up and LAUGHS.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Big Betty is the source of Tara’s childhood fear of bugs and lack of a sense of direction!
148. Wounds/Distress: Big Betty/Queen of the Termo-Lytes AJ13: Big Betty tells Tara she was one of the termites who chewed on her feet and legs when she was a kid and got lost in the Halloween corn maze and makes Tara shake and cry as Tara remembers her past trauma and comments on it and how it’s affected her life.
149. Mirth: Big Betty mocks Tara and says she’s an “easy prey” and will be fun to eat!
150. Mean: Big Betty reminds Tara that she’s too afraid of bugs to ever fight back against her.
151. Anger: Big Betty blames Tara for “putting the kibosh” on the Termo-Lytes comeback ten years ago at the corn maze, because the farmer sprayed them with pesticides the next day.
152. Anger: Big Betty blames the Sumerians for developing their crude pesticides 4,500 years ago and “putting the Termo-Lytes out of business!
153. Betrayal/Fear: Big Betty stands up, scoops up Tara and opens her mouth to eat her as Tara screams.
154. Fear/Bonding: Tara shrinks back and freezes, then Davy yells at her to not give up.
CLIMAX
155. Courageous/Winning: Tara snaps out of it and grabs the last of the Turmeric balls out of her backpack and hurls it into Big Betty’s nostril.
156. Defeat: Big Betty breaths in the poisoned croquet ball, moans loudly and dies instantly!
Tara PJ 17: Resolution: The group has survived the attack of the Termo-Lytes!
157. Excitement/Mirth: Tara and Davy and Meg hurry away, laughing and sit on the fountain by the main entrance, wondering what to do next.
158. Mirth/Courageous: A bug lands on Tara’s shoe and she just laughs. Tara is no longer afraid of bugs!
RESOLUTION
159. Surprise/Mirth: The sun clears the clouds away as Tad drives up in his hippy van with Tara’s Mom and Dad and Clare and Max. They are surprised to see them. He took a wrong turn following the map, and it turns out the map was wrong!160. Surprise/Love: Ted proposes to Meg and reveals he’s the owner of a gold mine. He’s not a bum after all!
161. Bonding/Love: Clare and Max said they couldn’t go to Disneyland without Tara. Max says Tara’s the only girl he want to go on Pirates with.
162. Embarrassment/Sadness/Bonding/Happiness: Tara blushes, then notices Davy looking sad. She hugs him and say she won’t go to Disneyland without her best bud, Davy, and he smiles and says he can’t wait to go as the group cheers.
163. Surprise/Excitement/Joy: Tara’s Mom’s phone rings and Davy’s parents are calling him via WhatsApp. They tell him they miss him so much, they’re cutting their trip short and will be home tomorrow night as Davy whoops for joy.
164. Surprise: One month later: Inside the speakeasy lab: a rat knocks another jar of green goo on the floor.
165. Surprise: The jar breaks and the green goo seeps toward a hole in a baseboard, where termites eat away on the wood…the goo starts to cover them and they start to come alive.
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Andrew Kelm’s Emotional Moments
Vision: I am going to do whatever it takes to be a great writer of TV and movies who is sought after by people I respect within the industry and has multiple successful TV series produced.
What I learned doing this assignment is… how to plot the emotional rollercoaster
FATEMONGERS; a psychic with a blind spot for abusive men uses subtle manipulations to murder a sexual predator who seduces her to get to her sons.
Emotional Moments:
ACT 1:
- EXCITEMENT: Roy is running from something unseen; need to show his panic before he decides to go into the salon
- LOVE: Daphne and Roy fall for each other – set up by Daphne declaring that she will never fall in love with another man
- DELIGHT: Daphne gives Roy a reading and reframes his criminality into an asset he can use as a salesman
- CREEPY: Gilbert appears – lugubrious man in a clerical collar arrives to get Roy
- BETRAYAL: Mom goes after Daphne over boys’ noise; play on depths of yet unrevealed wounds.
- COURAGE: Daphne gives her star client a reading and sticks up for herself as a valid therapist. She sticks up for herself and sets this up as a major motivator for her, and away to guilt manipulate Trent.
- SUCCESS/WINNING: Daphne moves out with Roy… There can be just a hint of a question whether Daphne is doing this out of love or for her own interests.
ACT 2:
- DISGUST: Gilbert seduces a hitchhiker
- DISTRESS: Gilbert chats up Daphne’s son, Carl
- DISTRESS/BETRAYAL: The client Gilbert refers to Daphne commits suicide. This depends on a chain of cause and effect
- SUCCESS/WINNING: Daphne and R buy a house together. She pulls out all the stops to manipulate her mother into giving her a down payment. And she gets her family away from Gilbert… Set up by the mother being impressed by Gilbert’s clerical collar and then Daphne spills that he is a pedophile. Mom is onto her from the start — “what do you want?”
ACT 3:
- BETRAYAL: Gilbert drags Roy into seducing a hitchhiker with him
- SUCCESS/WINNING: Roy makes a great sale at work
- BETRAYAL: Roy finds a new boyfriend. This needs to be set up with Daphne starting to push him away sexually
- MORAL ISSUE: Daphne confronts Roy over new boyfriend and they come to an agreement.
ACT 4:
- MORAL ISSUE: Carl tries to seduce Roy in the bedroom
- WOUND: Daphne is sexually abused by Steve
- SACRIFICE: Roy confronts Steve to defend Daphne and is killed
- MIXED EMOTIONS: Daphne may have planned all this because she ends up getting everything she said she wanted in the beginning. To make this work, I have to seed in lots about her wound, her vision for her future, her belief that she has a spirit guide and evidence of her ruthlessness to get what she wants
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Ian Greenham’s Emotional Moments
Vision: Completing this program will significantly enhance my screenwriting skills.
Doing this assignment I learned the importance of having sufficient emotional moments.
ACT 1:
Success/Winning: Aly wins a case for a client accused of murder.
Wounds: Diane reminds Aly of the loneliness of her childhood in foster homes.
Success/Winning: Aly successfully defends a teenage girl against a shoplifting charge.
Hidden Weakness: Aly is found unconscious at her desk.
Distress: Aly’s initial blood transfusion is unsuccessful.
Surprise: Nicki is surprised when her former colleague Nurse Jenny comes to the prison to collect blood donations.
Distress: Nicki is convicted of killing a patient, Lynden Maher.
Surprise: Nurse Jenny is surprised to find that Aly and Nicki are identical twin sisters.
Distress: Upon regaining consciousness Aly is distressed to hear that she has leukemia.
ACT 2:
Surprise: Aly is surprised to hear that she has a twin sister.
Surprise: Nicki is surprised to learn that she has twin sister.
Bonding: Aly and Nicki meet at the hospital.
Surprise: Aly is surprised when Diane tells her the flowers are from Tod.
ACT 3:
Distress: Aly’s first attempt to have Nicki’s conviction set aside is unsuccessful.
Surprise: Greg Edmonson tells Aly that he test results on Lynden Maher’s respirator were not in the hospital’s files.
Surprise: Aly finds out from Nicki’s foster mother that she and the girls’ mother were actually twins.
Surprise: Aly learns from Ben Nevers that the outdated respirators at St. Mary’s hospital had a history of failing.
Success/Winning: With the new information from Ben Nevers, Aly succeeds in having Nicki’s conviction set aside.
ACT4:
Distress: Nicki’s application for a nursing position at City Central Hospital is unsuccessful.
Surprise: Aly has an inconclusive conversation with Ben Nevers about his testing of Lynden Maher’s respirator.
Surprise: Aly is stunned to learn from Aunt Miriam that Nicki knew that Lynden Maher was their father who had abandoned their mother before they were born.
Love: Ben Nevers pops by Aly’s apartment on Nicki’s day off to see Nicki. He confesses his love for her.
[WIM: Module 4, Lesson 7: Depth – Emotional Moments – July 31, 2022]
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Sandra’s Emotional Moments
Vision: I am doing what I love to do as a writer with several successful produced movies.
What I learned doing this assignment is how to incorporate 2-4 big emotional moments per Act. This lesson also helped me make the emotional moments stronger by connecting them to the setups and reveals. This was a breakthrough lesson for me!
Title: SMUGGLERS JOURNEY
Genre: Drama
ACT 1:
Surprise/Distress: Sloane (age 10) and his mother are surprised when a policeman knocks on their door, and shocked that it’s about Sloane’s 40-day truancy. Sloane does not like school and dreads going back.
Excitement: Laughing all the way home, Sloane has great fun playing with his mother and pulling off pranks, such as leaving restaurants without paying and not getting caught.
Bonding/Love: Sloane (age 25) meets a woman at a Naval party and they flirt with each other. He calls her from every port, and spends all his free time with her on shore leave. When she becomes pregnant, they get married.
Success/Winning: Sloane studies hard, takes the captains test and passes. He becomes one of the youngest captains and is assigned his own ship.
Distress: After discovering smuggling activities, Sloane is badly beaten. He manages to crawl back to the ship and collapses.
ACT 2:
Emotional Dilemma/Moral Issue: Sloane is torn between wanting to do the right thing and report the smuggling, and wanting to make more money. If he reports the smuggling he will be killed, and if he’s caught smuggling, he faces a firing squad. If he can’t beat them, should he join them?
Success/Winning/Excitement: Sloane is making a ton of money for himself and Mr. Big. He is amazed at how easy it is to smuggle, forge documents, and launder money.
Courage: When police officers carrying rifles show up at his door, Sloane smiles and is engaging. He treats the police officers like old friends and invites them in for a drink and to watch the golf game on tv.
Distress: Sloane rushes home to be with his dying father. After the funeral, Sloane helps his mother figure out the financial and legal paperwork.
ACT 3:
Sacrifice/Distress: Sloane leaves the ship and smuggling business. He tries several legitimate jobs that don’t work out. He feels like a failure.
Bonding/Love: Sloane plays with his children, but doesn’t discipline them. He is more of a friend than a father.
Distress/Betrayal: When Mr. Big sinks the ship for the insurance money without Sloane’s knowledge, Sloane is shocked and concerned about the men that may have been on board the ship. Sloane argues with Mr. Big over the phone.
Betrayal/Wound/Hidden Weakness: Sloane is angry that his mother never told him about his real father who is no longer living. Sloane’s abandonment wound is triggered by his mother’s death, and his wife filing for divorce. Depressed, he drinks heavily to numb his feelings.
ACT 4 CLIMAX:
Sacrifice: Sloane ends his partnership with Mr. Big and walks away from the insurance money. With very little savings and not knowing what he is going to do, Sloane gives up the life of crime to be closer to family and friends.
Courage: Sloane enters an alcohol and drug treatment program. He learns how to be truthful, accountable, and to live a sober life.
Bonding: Sloane rebuilds his relationship with his children.
Love: Sloane meets a wonderful woman on-line through a spiritual dating service and they fall in love. They get married at sea on a cruise ship.
Success/Win: Sloane becomes a prison counselor helping inmates change their lives and get clean and sober.
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[WIM] Caroline’s Emotional Moments
My Vision: I will perfect my process of writing great scripts and be recognized by the industry as good at what I do and have successful movies produced.
What I learned: Again, I really feel like I did the work, I just have to put it into place.
Beat Sheet
Act 1: Callahan Terry stops a terrorist attack at a reception in Bahrain.
PJ 1: Callahan is undercover at an event in Bahrain looking for a terrorist. ACTION: Callahan stops an attack on the members of the House of Khalifa and takes down the terrorist.
Motivation: While on a holiday Callahan Terry, an MI6 agent, and his wife, Bridget, met Aaron Copley and his wife Gabrielle, at a resort in Sardinia and hit it off. The resort was attacked by terrorists and many people died, including Bridget. Aaron and Gabrielle helped Callahan and Aaron was the lead agent for the CIA tracking down and arresting the terrorists. They have been trauma-bonded friends ever since.
Wound: Callahan has been haunted by his wife’s death since.
Deeper Layer: Callahan is a secret spy who presents as a mild-mannered pencil pusher.
Setup: Callahan attends a reception as an attaché to the British Embassy.
Reveal: Callahan is really a super spy with great skills.
PJ 2: Callahan travels to Virginia to see his American friends, Aaron and Gabrielle Copley. Aaron is a CIA agent. ACTION: Callahan is happy to see his friends.
Bonding: Callahan has bonded with Aaron and Gabrielle over their shared trauma.
Inciting Incident: Gabrielle is kidnapped on her way to the supermarket. ACTION: Callahan’s training kicks in and he goes into tactical mode.
AJ 1: Aaron’s wife is kidnapped and Aaron disappears during the ransom drop. ACTION: Callahan gets into a fire fight with the kidnappers.
Distress: Callahan feels real anxiety and distress when Gabrielle is kidnapped.
Turning Point 1: Callahan shadows Aaron to the ransom drop and sees Aaron swept up.
Despair: Callahan feels extreme despair when Aaron is taken.
AJ 2: Deeper Layer: Aaron is a corrupt CIA agent who is setting up his friend Callahan.
Setup: Aaron presents himself as a by-the-book CIA agent.
Reveal: Aaron messes up the ransom drop and gets swept up by the kidnappers.
Act 2
Callahan is in a race to save his friends.
PJ 3: ACTION: Callahan tries to report what happened to the CIA but he is interrogated and threatened with deportation. He decides to go rogue.
Deeper Layer: The CIA dismisses Callahan but they have had Aaron under surveillance, unbeknownst to Callahan. ACTION: Callahan recognizes that he is being tailed and takes advantage of it.
Setup: Callahan attempts to go through official channels to help his friends.
Reveal: When he is rebuffed, Callahan goes all in to save his friends.
Sacrifice: Callahan risks his personal reputation to help his friends.
Midpoint turning point: Callahan hears from the kidnapper, an arms dealer who killed Callahan’s wife at a resort in Sardinia. ACTION: Callahan warns the kidnapper.
Setup: Callahan gets a call from the kidnapper.
Reveal: The kidnapper, an arms dealer, killed Callahn’s wife in retaliation for MI6 scuttling an arms deal.
Wound: Callahan’s past trauma is brought up when the man who killed his wife calls him.
Escalation: The arms dealer beckons Callahan to his lair in Mexico by taunting him about his wife’s death. ACTION: Callahan prepares himself mentally.
PJ 4: Callahan is filled with rage but needs to be objective and smart. ACTION: Callahan controls his rage.
PJ 5: Callahan takes stock of his skills and arms himself.
Act 3
New plan and overwhelming odds: Callahan embarks on a desperate cross-country trip to the arms dealer’s lair and sneaks into the heavily fortified fortress in the dark of night with the CIA on his trail.
Courage: Callahan will do anything he can to save his friends.
Turning Point 3: huge failure/major shift: Callahan finds out that Aaron is on the arms dealer’s side and was paid to deliver him. ACTION: Callahan is taken aback by Aaron’s betrayal.
Setup: Aaron calls Callahan, begging him for help.
Reveal: Callahan creeps into the compound and sees Aaron being friendly with the arms dealer.
Betrayal: Callahan feels deep betrayal when he sees Aaron talking to the man who killed his wife.
PJ 5: Callahan’s faith in Aaron is shattered when Aaron calls and taunts him while Callahan is casing the compound. ACTION: Callahan is angry at his friend.
AJ 3: Aaron embraces his true evil self. ACTION: Aaron is vengeful.
Hidden weakness: Aaron only cares about himself and his needs, not caring about his own wife.
Act 4
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Callahan gets into a firefight with his friend, Aaron as well as the arms dealer’s men. ACTION: Aaron tries to destroy everyone. ACTION: Callahan is enraged as well.
Setup: The CIA bursts in to clean up the scene.
Reveal: Aaron has been on the CIA’s radar for a long time.
Resolution: Aaron is arrested by the trailing CIA agents. The arms dealer gets away. Callahan rescues Gabrielle who had no idea what was going on.
AJ 4: Aaron is combative and smug as he is arrested. ACTION: Aaron shows no remorse.
PJ 6: Callahan is sad for Gabrielle and bewildered by what happened. ACTION: Callahan comforts Gabrielle.
Betrayal: Callahan is betrayed by Aaron and helps Gabrielle make sense of it.
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Erik’s Emotional Moments
My vision is to achieve true excellence as a screenwriter, which causes me to be a consistently working writer, with actual movies made from some of my scripts, and to become wealthy as a screenwriter, develop relationships in the movie industry where I am recognized as a truly original writer, and to become indispensable in the market in which I want to write.
What I learned doing this assignment… Emotional moments are some of the best moments in a script! Creating them deliberately is a bit of a different matter from creating reveals deliberately, and I think the nature of the story is going to allow for emotional moments to create themselves, and that it is the writer’s job to recognize them first (or recognize where they should be) and then to fully bring them out once they are recognized, which is what this assignment does.
1. Penny and Mara spend their first night alone in the mall. They begin to bond as Mara feels basically safe under Penny’s guidance and less anxious (and expresses how she has in essence wanted to be her friend in the orphanage, even though Penny hardly knew her ?). BONDING / COURAGE / STAKES ARE RAISED. ACT 2
2. A fire has started in the orphanage (Penny freaked!)! SURPRISE / DANGER ACT 1
3. A menacing-looking man confronts Penny and Mara in the alley. DANGER ACT 1
4. They journey down the city street—kids on the run! EXCITEMENT / DANGER ACT 1
5. Penny’s goodbye note to Amanda—she explains why she is not meant to be the mother figure for her (and that she has come to understand a little about who she is in the world). BOND (with Mara) / COMING INTO HER OWN ACT 3
6. Penny and Mara get separated in the mall. DANGER / NEGATIVE SURPRISE / STAKES ARE RAISED ACT 3
7. Penny and Mara are separated in the orphanage. LOSS / TYPE OF DISTRESS ACT 4
8. Penny and Mara find each other again! SURPRISE / TRIUMPH / BOND ACT 3
9. Rides on the trolley, eating at the fancy restaurant, and generally traipsing around the mall! EXCITEMENT ACT 2
10. Penny and Mara make a pact that they will always be together. BONDING / LOVE ACT 3
11. Penny tells Mara that she can’t let herself be adopted (it would break their pact). SUSPENSE / (POTENTIAL) LOSS ACT 4
12. Penny and Mara hold each other tightly in the orphanage as Mara’s potential parents stand by. LOVE / DISTRESS ACT 4
13. Mara makes the decision not to let the family adopt her. SACRIFICE / LOVE / COURAGE ACT 4
14. Sarah meets with her parents, who indicate that they will not yield on their condition that Sarah has to have two kids in order to receive her trust fund. MORAL ISSUE / EMOTIONAL DILEMMA ACT 2
15. Sarah leaves fiancé over their disagreement on starting a family (or maybe he leaves her). SACRIFICE / DISTRESS ACT 3
16. Sarah’s feelings for Penny and Mara cause her to reject her parents’ influence in her life and make a decision on her own to “have” children—that is, to adopt Penny and Mara. LOVE / COURAGE (turning her back on the trust fund) / SACRIFICE ACT 3
17. Sarah goes to the orphanage and reports that she knows of two girls who are on their own in the mall. (SEEMING) BETRAYAL ACT 3
18. Mara explores an unexpected underground/subterranean-like area in the mall, which becomes her temporary home in the mall for a little while. She meets [someone / some creature?].—and finds her confidence. SURPRISE ACT 3
19. Mara meets a family in the orphanage who expresses a desire to potentially adopt her. It is what Mara has wanted. SUSPENSE / (POTENTIAL) LOSS (of Penny). ACT 4
20. Daphne has been overly discriminating against parents who express an interest in a girl like Penny and as a result blocking Penny’s chances of being adopted. It is because deep down she has an affection for Penny and does not want to let go of her. EMOTIONAL DILEMMA / MORAL ISSUE ACT 3 or 4
21. Showdown in the
orphanage—will Mara be adopted before Sarah and Fiancé can get approved to
adopt both of the girls? Will Mara choose Penny instead of a family? LOVE / TRIUMPH / SUSPENSE ACT 4 -
Terrie’s Emotional Moments
What I learned from this assignment is that I had more emotional moments than I expected. I need to make sure I write these scenes in a manner that highlights these emotions.
ACT 1:
Excitement: James is chased down by US Marshal
Surprise: He’s actually a witness being protected by the US Marshals
Emotional dilemma: James/Jason was involved with domestic terrorist group.
Winning: Paige is a US Marshal behavioral analyst who profiles her rude date to his face
Hidden weakness: Paige is brought in to help with James’ protection detail but she’s behavioral not WITSEC
Surprise: James is really Jason – he knew Paige growing up
Wound: James/Jason has no one from his past to say goodbye to
Bonding: Paige agrees to serve on James/Jason’s protection detail to shut him up
Act 2:
Bonding: James/Jason & Paige bicker and argue then their past comes up
Emotional Dilemma: Paige is hiding the fact that she and James/Jason were a couple from the Marshals
Distress/excitement: James/Jason & Paige are shot at when changing locations.
Surprise: At least one of James/Jason’s conspiracy theories is true
Act 3:
Betrayal: Paige realizes that for them to have been located, someone betrayed their hiding place
Bonding: Paige & James/Jason travel to find a safe location
Wound: They travel to where they grew up and visit the old Sheriff that Paige worked for – find out James/Jason nearly got her fired with his bad behavior
Love: Huge fight over James/Jason setting himself up as bait for the info traps
Love: They sleep together but Paige isn’t over what happened before; Jason never got over Paige
Act 4:
Winning: Paige sets up information traps
Distress: Someone in the US Marshal service is working with the group James/Jason is testifying against; James conspiracy theory is true
Sacrifice /Love: James/Jason testifies but refuses WITSEC to be with Paige
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Joe McGloin’s Emotional Moments
Vision: I am a talented, highly regarded, efficient, relaxed, happy, WGA screenwriter
What I learned from doing this assignment is all the places I can emphasize the emotional impact of the emotional moments by first identifying those moments.
ACT I
Max is distressed about his assignment to the extent that he ignores it at first
Clarence surprises us by causing extreme weather by his anger at being overruled as to Max’s assignment
Jane’s wound is she feels a relationship will derail her career
Act II
Jane’s courage to reform politics
Clarence betrays Max by revealing his failing Cherub
Jane successfully turns the tables on her associates who tried to make her the fall guy
Clarence has distress over Max and others not improving humanity’s chance of
self-destruction
Act III
Max does a deep dive into work supporting Jane, a bonding time.
Jane surprises her co-workers by embracing the worker who tried to take over her job
Max exhibits love by finally giving Jane the freedom to live as she sees fit
Max faces his dilemma of his love for Jane vs. his job to protect her
Max sacrifices his life for a more objective replacement for himself
Act IV
Clarence discloses that he also failed Cherub, a bonding moment
Jane has a breakthrough understanding of the importance of seeing her constituents
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Jane’s Emotional Moments
MY VISION: I will make my living as a screenwriter by selling my own narrative scripts and successfully fulfilling writing assignments.
By doing this assignment I really had to force myself to explore this story as something with emotion. As a parody, the main hope for the audience is that they are chuckling along throughout the entire film. While my intent is that nothing is as “on the nose” as a Mel Brooks parody or AIRPLANE, I do want it to be fun and a bit silly. This assignment helped me keep the characters balanced by exploring emotions that might be elicited from the audience besides humor.
Genre: Parody of Tea Cozy Murder Mystery
Title: NOT A CLUE!
Act 1:
Empathy for June whose thoughts are young and bold and body is not cooperating.
Feel June’s Annoyance at Percival whose Hidden Weakness makes him brag.
June’s Excitement at having the chance to best Percival in the competition – they’ll be rooting for the underdog.
Shock and Distress as Frances is found dead.
Act 2:
Distress as Percival is pointed out as a suspect.
June’s Emotional Dilemma as Eloise is found to be missing. Fear for Eloise’s life.
Bonding as Mattie enters the picture as a friend and confidant for both sleuths.
Empathy for Percival as he discloses Wounds from his childhood to Mattie.
Shock and Fear as both sleuths lives are nearly ended in the ice house.
Fear for June as poisoned candy is delivered.
Act 3:
Fear as each sleuth investigates the other residents and staff, Moral Dilemmas abound.
Empathy and Friendship for Mattie as she shares the story of her mother’s death.
June’s Courage as she creates and launches her plan to find the killer.
Bonding as Percival first tries to stop June and then laments her death.
June has indeed Sacrificed her life to find the truth.
Act 4:
Shock that Mattie has manipulated everyone, including the audience and is the killer.
Fear for Percival’s life. His own Courage and Resolve to stop Mattie and avenge June’s death.
Surprise as June springs back to life and stops Mattie.
Surprise at June’s set up of the events to keep everyone, including herself safe.
Success as the two sleuths solve the mystery together.
Bonding as both keep the other’s secret.
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Linda Anderson’s Emotional Moments
Vision for your success from this program:
Audiences around the world view and love my meaningful screenplays—one of the most satisfying and energizing accomplishments of my life.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how surprised I was by how many significant emotional moments were in the script and could also be elevated.
Title: Ticket to Live
Genre: Inspirational Family Film
Emotional Moments
Act 1:
Hidden Weakness. Allen is unsure of himself. In Atlanta on night shift, a criminal surprise-ambushes him and points a gun at his head. His mentor, Bruce, warns him about rookie-cop mistakes that could get him killed. Says nothing is as important as going home.
Emotional Dilemma. Allen needs comfort and support. At home that night, he hides that he nearly got killed. Doesn’t want his wife, Linda, to worry.
Distress. Ten years later he’s having a violent PTSD nightmare reliving the near-miss scene. Linda asks him to talk. He won’t. She’s worried.
Distress. Cocker spaniel abandoned on dark, rainy night. Picked up by Harley bikers. Dumped at animal shelter. Fears being alone and defenseless.
Surprise. They impulsively adopt the dog, named Harley. Linda feels shaft of light and warmth flash through them as the dog enters their family.
Love. Before going home, Harley jumps into pile of leaves and plays. They name him Leaf. Allen promises the dog he’ll always take care of him.
Excitement. Dog, now named Leaf, immediately attaches to a toy he chose for himself at pet store. Linda and Allen speculate this may be the first toy of his own.
Distress. Leaf turns their home into a war zone. His abandonment issues and aggressiveness upset whole family, including two resident cats and a cockatiel.
Sacrifice. Linda is giving up sleep and a clean and peaceful house for a dog she just met.
Success/Winning. Allen and Linda do a phone radio interview at home to promote their newest book in a series about spiritual connections people have with animals. They convey the esoteric concept to a very skeptical host.
Betrayal. Leaf nearly destroys the interview.
Moral Issue. Vet diagnoses Leaf as fear-aggressive. Warns he would be euthanized if he bites someone. Allen is torn between the truth and the commitment he made to keep Leaf safe.
Success/Winning. Speedy, the older cat, stops Leaf from chasing cats.
Bonding. Another PTSD dream. This time, Allen confides in her about the police incident that could turned to a regret in his nightmare. They talk about their regrets. Wonder if they did the right thing by adopting Leaf.
Love. Leaf has his own PTSD dreams, wakes up howling and trembling every night. Allen shows patience and tenderness walking the dog in frigid cold and snow and comforting him in his arms till he calms down.
Excitement. Wound. A savvy animal communicator nails Leaf’s wound of shame at being abandoned and thrown out like trash. They wonder if they can create a spiritual connection that could help him heal.
Wounds. At work, Allen gets a call from the doctor he saw about dizzy spells lately. The doctor tells him he has an unruptured brain aneurysm that could kill him if it breaks. He needs brain surgery. Triggers Allen’s memories of his father’s stroke and anger at being disabled for the rest of his life. Will this be his fate?
Act 2
Wounds. Allen Googles brain aneurysms and brain surgery and is horrified. He’s desperate to tone down Linda’s emotion and fears she’ll cry. He creates a “fact sheet.” Linda calls it a “memo” and can’t believe he’s telling her like this.
Bonding. Surprise. After months of Linda kissing Leaf on his head with no response, he surprises by kissing her for the first time.
Betrayal. After meeting with the neurosurgeon and finding out he has a second life-threatening condition with deep vein thrombosis and a blood clot aimed at his heart, Allen breaks down while alone in the car. His body and life have betrayed him.
Wounds. A series of vivid flashbacks reveal sources of Allen’s PTSD—violent police calls, his abusive career-military father calling him a baby for crying when he got hurt, as a child. Is his life worth living?
Sacrifice. Allen asks his best friend, Bob, to take care of Linda if he dies.
Moral Dilemma. Allen prepares “The Manual” with everything she’ll need to know how to do if he is disabled permanently or dies and his Last Will & Testament. It shocks her and causes her to have a meltdown. Does he want to live?
Wounds. Allen has profound dream that he’s denied a ticket to The Building of Life. Leaf listens to Allen tell Linda the awful dream. Afterwards, Leaf tears up newspaper slivers and follows Allen around, trying to give them to him. Allen gets annoyed and throws away the newspaper. Triggers his fear that his life is over and not worth saving.
Emotional Dilemma. Allen gets call from Atlanta that Bruce was killed in the line of duty. Another conflicting message. Bruce didn’t survive and go home. Will Allen?
Act 3
Love. Leaf learning how to be nice at dog park instead of alpha and aggressive reminds Allen he needs to be nice and reach out to his family. He calls children and family and asks them to come to Minneapolis and support Linda and him through the surgery. They are relieved.
Sacrifice. At the hotel where they’re staying the night before his surgery, Allen and Linda say goodbye to each other. Allen gives Linda his wedding ring to keep.
Success/Winning. Seconds before Allen goes unconscious, in his mind’s eye, he sees Leaf delivering his ticket to The Building of Life. He realizes the newspaper slivers were Leaf’s attempt a delivering the ticket. He’s assured he’ll survive this.
Distress. The surgery is a nail-biter. Much more involved and longer. A Code Blue is called for the surgeon’s nurse. Linda thinks Allen is dying.
Wound. After a week in the hospital, Allen has frontal lobe issues and reactions to heavy steroids. Thinks he’s Superman. Can’t be dependent like his father. Linda hides his car keys.
Moral Dilemma. Allen and Linda fight over him going on a trip too soon to save his failing company’s business with an important client. It’s a disaster.
Act 4
Love. Allen reassures Linda she can go to a cabin and finish writing the next book that’s due. Instead, he has an emergency conscious sedation surgery to remove the blood clot filter that was inserted before the brain surgery. He drives to and from the hospital on his own with Leaf in the car. In terrible pain and fury. Leaf comforts him by licking his neck and face all the way home. Linda rushes from the cabin and comes home. Allen admits he’s afraid and needs her help.
Success/Winning. Allen’s PTSD dreams from police work stop. He has one more about the surgery. This time, Leaf jumps on bed and helps him come back. He’s healng.
Courage. Leaf gets deadly pancreatitis. Must have special diet to survive. Allen commits to making all Leaf’s meals from scratch with recipes from the vet. Main ingredient is sweet potatoes. He gets known at local grocery store as “Sweet Potato Man” for buying piles of sweet potatoes every week.
Success/Winning. Allen writes memoir about his dual healing journey with Leaf. It’s a best-seller. He’s doing radio interview with same host as before. Host tells him the book is giving hope to him and people who face life-threatening situations. Animals can deliver a person’s ticket to live.
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Claire’s Emotional Moments!
MY VISION:
I have a fabulous career as a screenwriter working in both TV and film, and I have tremendous creative, financial, and personal success. I specialize in female driven projects, and I am the go-to-girl for writing lesbian stories.
WHAT I LEARNED: I am good at emotional moments and have them throughout the story.
HORROR SCRIPT
Act 1
AJ: In a hospital operating room, a large black woman in a hospital gown, frees herself from restraints and attacks a white female doctor. She strangles her. The doctor fights back. The patient grabs scissors from a table and stabs her to death. A nurse in the room screams.
DISTRESS: A patient kills her doctor.
REVEAL: Reveals a scene from a TV series. They are at an abandoned mental hospital that is on an isolated island accessible only by a drawbridge. SYBIL is the director of the project and plays the role of the murdered doctor.
PJ: Maeve, Sybil’s wife, in car talking on the phone with Sybil, who is angry that Maeve is still not there. Maeve is apologetic and timid. Promises to get there asap.
DISTRESS: Sybil abusing Maeve.
The car in front of her gets a blow out and almost crashes. She swerves to get out of the way but then stops and goes back and see if the driver is okay.
PJ: Maeve The woman driver has a young child. Tire blew. Does not have road service. Couldn’t afford. Cries. Maeve changes the tire for her.
REVEAL: The woman tells her not to go to the abandoned mental hospital. It is haunted. There was a murder suicide there in 1980.
DISTRESS: Maeve warned of danger at her destination.
REVEAL: Sybil, the director has an interview with an entertainment news show and reveals she is investigating the murder of a psychiatrist by her patient in 1954. The patient, a black woman, was portrayed as a vicious killer, but her family said she was a kind and gentle woman. Something at the hospital made her kill.
News reporter repeats that locals believe the abandoned hospital is haunted and may have caused a murder/suicide in 1980. She asks Sybil: Are you sure you want to stay? Sybil laughs and says she does not believe any of that.
PJ: Maeve arrives on the set. She seems a bit uncomfortable. Regina and Libby are happy to see her. Maeve is timid and deferential to Regina and Libby. Zora and Diana are thrilled to see her. Maeve is warm and affectionate with them, but still holds back.
She wants to kiss Sybil, but she immediately scolds her for being late. Maeve apologizes and tries to explain about the woman with car trouble, but Sybil is angry and won’t listen.
DISTRESS: Continued abuse by Sybil.
AJ: Maeve begins to feel uncomfortable. People ask her what is wrong. Sybil rolls her eyes. Maeve just wants attention. The discomfort grows until Maeve is overcome and faints. When she recovers, she says she is okay but clearly she is hiding something. Sybil tells her fainting is not a way out off their argument.
AJ: Maeve continues to be uncomfortable. Strange things happen on the set. Animals act funny. No cell phone reception. No wifi. Power goes out. Maeve is afraid.
DISTRESS: Unexplained bizarre occurrences.
PJ: The dark energy overwhelms Maeve again. Diana encourages Maeve to say what’s really going on.
REVEAL: Maeve tells Diana and Zora she senses a dark energy and wants to leave. Zora tells her to tell Sybil. She says Sybil won’t believe her and will only lead to a fight. Diana says tell her anyway. You have to stand up to her.
PJ: Maeve tells Sybil about the dark energy and suggests everyone leave.
COURAGE: Maeve tells her abusive wife Sybil how she honestly feels.
Sybil argues with her and mockingly tells people that Maeve is a psychic. Sybil dismisses Maeve and her concerns. Zora encourages Sybil to listen to Maeve.
DISTRESS: Sybil’s continued abuse.
Maeve goes into Diana’s trailer. Diana comforts her. Audrey comes in. She acts like she cares about Maeve but talks to her as if what she is experiencing is a sign of a mental or emotional problem.
Women return to their trailers.
Turning Point: Zora goes crazy and kills her wife, Diana.
DISTRESS: Diana is murdered.
BETRAYAL: Diana is killed by her own wife.
Act 2:
PJ: Maeve believes the dark energy caused the death and suggests they all leave.
Sybil scoffs, says ridiculous, this is a mental/emotional issue. Audrey smiles. That was her idea.
PJ: Maeve gets Sybil alone and tries to get her to leave. Pleads with her. Tells her she has a very bad feeling about this.
COURAGE: Maeve again tells Sybil she thinks they should all leave because it is dangerous.
Sybil is recalcitrant. She accuses Maeve of using her pretend psychic abilities to prevent Sybil from getting her movie made. Maeve begs her. No. Maeve decides to leave herself.
PJ: Maeve, Libby and Regina get in Maeve’s car to leave.
COURAGE/BONDING. Maeve leaves with out her disapproving wife and two frinds who unlike Sybil, respect her.
The drawbridge is up and is now inoperable because the power is out. Maeve tries to figure out how to operate it without power. She fails. She tries to see if they can get over the bridge with it still open. Regina and Libby stop her too dangerous, and suggest they go back.
REVEAL: they are stuck
REVEAL: Maeve is hysterical at the thought of going back. Regina and Libby ask her why. Maeve tells them she was possessed as a child. Regina asks how she got free of it.
Flashback: A group of women surround young Maeve with loving energy. One of the women exorcises the spirit from Maeve.
WOUND: Maeve revels her childhood possession.
Maeve, Regina and Libby go back.
AJ: Zora tries to kill herself. She seems possessed again.
COURAGE/SUCCESS: Maeve stops Zora from killing herself and calms her down.
PJ: Maeve asks Sybil about the murder suicide in 1980. She says she doesn’t know or care because it has nothing to do with the 1954 murder or with what’s happening now. Maeve presses her and Sybil explodes.
COURAGE: Maeve is not intimidated by Sybil at this point. Her need to survive overcomes her fear of rocking the boat with her dominating wife.
REVEAL: Regina remembers what happened. A lesbian couple was investigating the murder of the psychiatrist by her patient in 1954. One of them went nuts and killed her lover and then committed suicide.
PJ: Maeve restates that there is a dark energy and perhaps it possessed that couple in 1980 and is possessed Zora. She suggests they have a séance. Sybil and Audrey dismiss her.
Midpoint Turning Point: Regina is possessed and murders her wife, Libby.
DISTRESS: Another murder, Regina kills Libby.
Act 3:
PJ: Maeve tells everyone that she believes the women were possessed and caused to kill their spouses. She thinks that’s what happened in 1980.
Audrey says there is something wrong with Maeve. She’s delusional. Sybil agrees and says Maeve wants attention.
Distress/Wound: Audrey uses Maeve’s past to abuse her.
REVEAL: Alison, Audrey’s wife, tells everyone that Audrey and Sybil are having and affair and that’s why Audrey is saying there is something wrong with Maeve.
BETRAYAL: Sybil is cheating on Maeve.
Audrey and Alison fight.
PJ: Maeve confronts Sybil about their relationship. They fight and Maeve breaks up with Sybil. Sybil is indignant. You’re breaking up with me?
BETRAYLA/COURAGE: Maeve turns the tables on the dominating Sybil and breaks up with her.
AJ: Audrey is possessed and kills her wife Alison. Regina encouraged Maeve to stop her, to exorcise the spirit from Audrey, but Maeve could not do it. Was afraid. The only couple left is Maeve and Sybil. Will one of them get possessed and kill the other?
PJ: Maeve has a séance. She wants to reach the spirit of the patient who murdered her doctor. She believes she may be possessing the women and forcing them to kill.
COURAGE: Maeve takes a big step to solve their problem.
AJ: Maeve has trouble reaching the patient/murderer. She feels the dark energy come between them.
PJ: Maeve sends loving energy to the spirit of the patient/murderer, and she comes through and tells Maeve the truth.
Flashback to what really happened. The evil psychiatrist is using electric shock therapy on her patient. The woman is screaming in pain. The doctor laughs and says horrible things to her about being queer. The nurse tries to stop it. The doctor pushes her away. The patient’s hair gives off smoke. The nurse sets her free. The patient stabs the doctor to death and then thanks the nurse for saving her.
REVEAL: The psychiatrist is an evil doctor who tortures gay people in the name of treatment.
REVEAL: The patient killed the doctor because she was torturing her.
REVEAL: The ghost of the evil psychiatrist has been possessing the women and forcing them to kill their own wives. It’s double horror for the women and double pleasure for the evil doctor.
Turning Point:
AJ: Sybil is possessed and tries to kill Maeve.
DISTRESS/BETRAYAL: Sybil tries to kill Maeve.
Act 4:
PJ: Sybil goes completely nuts. Maeve fights her off and runs. But she realizes that she needs to exorcise the demon out of Sybil or Sybil will eventually kill her. She remembers her own exorcism.
REVEAL: Love drove the spirit out of Maeve as a child. She drops her fear and meats the ghost with love. The ghost leaves Sybil. Amazing. She is awesome.
COURAGE/LOVE: Her desire to survive and love for Sybil cause her to exorcise the spirit from Sybil.
The power comes back on. They get WiFi signals. Their environment returns to being peaceful and normal. Maeve is triumphant.
AJ: The power goes off again. Maeve looks around, frightened. Who is being possessed now?
The ghost of the evil psychiatrist tries to possess Maeve.
DISTRESS/WOUND: Maeve is being possessed like the other women, and like she was as a child.
The ghost shows itself. It is ugly and angry. Maeve struggles to prevent it from entering her. She asks the survivors to help her by sending her loving energy. She drops her fear and is in love and joy.
Climax
PJ: Maeve, Zora, Regina and Audrey surround Sybil with loving energy. Maeve exorcises the spirit from herself. It is gone.
COURAGE/BONDING: All the women unite to help Maeve exorcise the ghost for good.
Resolution:
The power comes back on.
Maeve gets the survivors together, Sybil, Zora, Regina and Audrey, and gets them off the island.
Sybil got her story
Sybil apologizes and asks Maeve to forgive her.
Maeve forgives her but does not want to get back together. She is no longer under Sybil’s thumb.
What are we going to tell the authorities? Don’t know.
THRILLER SCRIPT
Act 1:
PJ: A scene with Eve doing CIA agent stuff. Let’s see her escape from somewhere and also fight. [This scene introduces Eve and sets up that she is a badass.]
PJ: Eve and Debbie are at a diner on a date. They are clearly in love.
LOVE: Between Eve and Debbie.
Debbie asks Eve why can’t she meet her family. Eve says she doesn’t see them. Debbie asks why? Eve changes the subject with I’ve never met your family. Debbie says she has to prepare her mother for her dating a woman. A waitress who obviously knows them makes a joke about how in love they are. Eve is kind to the waitress.
AJ: Someone is watching them. Who? Why?
PJ: Eve and Debbie are dancing together on the street. They seem delighted with each other. Debbie asks what are you not telling me? Eve evades her again.
HIDDEN WEAKNESS: Eve is hiding something.
AJ: Debbie’s ex-husband attacks Debbie. Eve fights him off and rescues Debbie.
DISTRESS: Debbie is attacked.
Inciting Incident:
Debbie asks who are you that you can fight like that? Debbie and Eve fight because Eve is secretive. She never talks about her job, her family, her childhood, etc. Debbie breaks up with Eve.
BETRAYAL/DISTRESS: Debbie breaks up with Eve.
PJ: At home, Eve sends Debbie texts and vms to reconcile. She apologizes for being secretive and promises to be more open. Difficult for her. She will explain when they get together. Her texts go unanswered.
DISTRESS: Eve is heartbroken and desperate from Debbie breaking up with her.
AJ: Someone is watching Eve in her home from the street. Shoots a dart gun at her through the window.
PJ: Eve feels groggy and collapses.
DISTRESS: Something has clearly happened to Eve. But what?
AJ: Eve wakes, feel groggy and realizes she slept a long time. What happened?
PJ: Eve checks her phone. Debbie has not responded to her messages. Eve makes a call to say she’ll be late.
AJ: Eve notices texts she does not remember sending. What happened last night?
REVEAL: Eve goes to her office. She is a CIA agent.
PJ: Eve tells her co-worker, Julie, that Debbie broke up with her. Julie is supportive. Eve tells her she thinks she was drugged. Julie tells her to get a blood test.
TP 1
AJ: While getting blood drawn, Eve sees a TV news report: Debbie’s been kidnapped.
DISTRESS: Eve is horrified to learn Debbie has been kidnapped.
ACT 2:
AJ: At FBI headquarters, Patty, Debbie’s widowed mother, cries on TV, begging the kidnappers to release her daughter.
DISTRESS: A mother heartbroken over her daughter’s disappearance.
AJ: The lead FBI agent, Dirk Wilson, interviews Patty in the FBI office. She gives background on Debbie, 32, kindergarten teacher, good Christian, divorced, loves children. Patty seems fragile and helpless. She is overwhelmed with grief.
DISTRESS: Patty’s continued grief.
AJ: Debbie is in a small room. She wakes and is groggy. A man wearing a mask enters and tells her she is safe and everything will be fine.
DISTRESS: Debbie is held captive. Where? By whom?
PJ: Eve talks to Julie about Debbie’s kidnapping. Do you think it’s my fault? Could it be someone I investigated? Julie says that was in the past. This is different. Eve wants to go find Debbie herself. Julie suggests she work with the FBI. Eve says they are too slow and bound by red tape. Julie says you must go to them first. Eve agrees.
DISTRESS/WOUND: Eve’s continued distress over Debbie’s disappearance and there is something from the past that haunts her.
PJ: Eve goes to Debbie’s house, meets Agent Marra. She tells him she is a CIA agent, she and Debbie are lovers, and last night Debbie’s ex tried to abduct Debbie. He thanks her and says he will investigate the ex-husband. She wants to search Debbie’s house herself. He won’t allow it.
PJ: Eve puts on [crime scene coverup gear] and sneaks back into Debbie’s house and searches it. Can’t find pictures of herself and Debbie.
AJ: Agent Marra brings in Debbie’s ex for questioning. He does not have an alibi. He says he was protecting Debbie from Eve. Protecting?
PJ: Eve comes into the FBI office at their request. She thinks they have info on Debbie. Instead, she meets Agent Wilson who asks her to clear up some confusion. [while she is waiting she steals something to use later].
REVEAL: Agent Wilson says Patty told them Debbie was dating a man. Eve says Debbie didn’t tell her mother about their relationship.
AJ: Agent Wilson tells Eve Debbie’s ex said he was protecting Debbie from Eve. Eve does not understand. Agent Wilson shows her a video of Patty’s interview:
REVEAL: On the tape, Agent Wilson tells Patty that Eve said she and Debbie were lovers. Patty covers her mouth with her hand and through tears, says that is not true. Eve was stalking Debbie, but Debbie was not interested in a romantic relationship with Eve. She is not homosexual. She’s a normal woman. She was dating a man.
TJ: Debbie is forced to watch heterosexual porn and throws up.
PJ: Eve is stunned and says Patty is lying. She can prove she and Debbie were involved. She looks through her phone but can’t find any pictures with her and Debbie. She does not understand what is happening.
DISTRESS: She is being accused of hurting the woman she loves. She cannot find the evidence that will clear her.
AJ: Agent Wilson shows Eve text messages that Eve sent to Debbie last night. Some of these texts make it appear that Eve was stalking Debbie. Eve recognizes some texts but says she did not send others.
MORE DISTRESS: Evidence that suggests she may have killed the woman she loves.
PJ: She says she has a witness, a co-worker. Wilson says she would lie for you. A waitress at a diner she and Debbie frequent.
AJ: The FBI take Eve to the waitress from previous evening. Waitress says she never saw Debbie and Eve together, but in the past, they were at the diner at the same time at separate tables. Eve is devastated. Asks her why are you doing this? Who told you to lie? Agent Wilson pushes her away, but she gets away from him and runs to waitress. They think I killed Debbie. You know I couldn’t hurt her. You know I loved her. Waitress says I’m sorry.
DISTRESS/BETRAYAL: Waitress lies. FBI believe she kidnapped Debbie.
Agent Wilson pulls her away and she says I am being framed. Who is behind this? They have Debbie. Why aren’t you looking for her? Marra says she’s crazy.
Midpoint:
FBI arrest Eve for kidnapping Debbie
DISTRESS/BETRAYAL: She is kidnapped by the FBI agents who she believed were helping her find Debbie.
Act 3:
Deeper level: A man watches a TV report about Eve’s arrest. Who is he?
Eve’s co-worker, Julie, sees the same news report.
Debbie is shocked while being shown lesbian porn movies. The voltage increases and Debbie screams.
DISTRESS: Physical and emotional torture.
AJ: FBI interrogate Eve. Her GPS shows the previous night she drove to Debbie’s home and then to isolated woods. Did she kill Debbie and dump her body?
PJ: Eve freaks out. She did not kidnap or kill Debbie. She is a CIA agent. If she wanted to kidnap and kill someone, she’d know how to cover her tracks. Obviously, she’s been set up. You’re wasting time. Where is Debbie? Why aren’t you looking for her?
DISTRESS: More fake evidence suggesting that she kidnapped Debbie. And now no one is looking for Debbie!
PJ: Eve tells the agent that she believed she was drugged last night so she had a blood test at the CIA office. If she was drugged, she could not have kidnapped Debbie last night. Agent Wilson tells Agent Marra to investigate the blood test.
AJ: Agent Wilson enters the interview room where Patty sits and asks her why Debbie didn’t report the stalking. Patty cries and says oh my God, this is all my fault. Wilson asks her what she means. Patty says she urged Debbie not to report it because she believed Eve was sick and needed help. She encouraged Debbie to pray for Eve instead. She didn’t want her to go to jail. She cries, and says she thought she was doing the right thing. Wilson comforts her.
DISTRESS: Patty’s continued fear and grief over her daughter’s disappearance.
Major Reveal: The man who was watching news report of Eve’s arrest comes into the FBI office. He is Eve’s father. He is a famous psychiatrist who promotes using conversion therapy to “cure” queer people.
He tells Wilson and Marra, that when Eve was a teen he forced her into conversion therapy, but she ran away and joined the military. He believes she has mental and emotional problems.
WOUND/BETRAYAL: Her own father forced Eve into conversion therapy when she was a vulnerable teen.
Major Reveal: Agent Wilson tells Roger five years ago a woman Eve was involved with was murdered. They never found the killer. Roger is stunned. He asks to see Eve.
WOUND: Eve’s girlfriend was killed five years ago.
Debbie is shocked while being shown pictures of herself kissing Eve. The voltage increases and Debbie screams.
Outside of the room with Eve’s father, Agent Wilson asks Marra about the blood test. Marra says he has not yet heard back. Then says I know how you feel about women like her. You can’t believe she had nothing to do with Debbie’s kidnapping. Wilson says my feelings about women like her have nothing to do with this investigation. We will follow all leads.
PJ: Roger enters the interrogation room. Eve is stunned. She has not seen him in years. He is perfunctory and dominant. He asks her if she kidnapped and killed Debbie. She says no. She loves her and wants to get out of here to find her. He asks about the woman who was murdered five years ago. She is surprised and upset. She had nothing to do with her murder. She loved her. She thinks the people she was investigating killed her. He says the world is a dangerous place for women you love.
WOUND/DISTRESS/BETRAYAL: Her father comes and rather than helping her in her time of need, he reopens her old wounds from childhood and he is siding with the FBI agents.
She is angry. She accuses him of still hating her for being gay and is happy to see her behind bars. She asks: Did you come here to finish what you started when she was 17?
No. I put you into conversion therapy because I was trying to help you. Homosexuality is a mental disorder.
Is that why you came here? To tell me you still think I’m crazy.
He says No. I came to tell you I don’t think you kidnapped Debbie but I think I know who did.
SURPRISE/LOVE: Her father believes her! He wants to help her.
REVEAL: Roger says there is a group that kidnaps queer people and puts them through forced conversion therapy. He thinks these people might have kidnapped Debbie. She fits the profile from an ultra-religious family.
TJ: Debbie is forced to watch porn again. This time is switches from heterosexual to lesbian. During heterosexual porn she is given soothing music and messages. During lesbian porn she is shocked.
DISTRESS: Continued physical and emotional abuse of Debbie.
PJ: Eve is stunned. (Roger told her about the group that kidnaps queer people and forces conversion therapy on them). She asks why would they kidnap Debbie? Roger says the family usually asks that the person be kidnapped. Her family?
PJ: Julie arrives and is met by Agent Marra. She asks why didn’t he return her calls or answer her emails? She has the results of a blood test that shows Eve was drugged last night and could not have kidnapped Debbie. Marra says the lab would lie for her. She shows him pictures of herself and Eve and Debbie. She could have photoshopped. Julie asks to see Wilson. Marra refuses. She storms out.
BETRAYAL: Agent Marra will not help her.
PJ: Eve tells Agent Wilson she wants to confront Patty. She thinks Patty is behind the kidnapping. Wilson says Patty is a sweet old Christian lady. Wilson gets a text from a CIA big shot with the results of Eve’s blood test. She was drugged. Eve says this proves she could not have kidnapped Debbie. He says you still could have done it. Eve asks again could they go to talk to Patty. He agrees but says she is still under arrest.
AJ: Eve talks sweetly to Patty, acting very nice, but tries to get her to admit she is lying. It does not work. Patty acts like she is a sweet victim. But at one point she looks Eve dead in the eye and Eve knows it is all an act. She accuses Patty of kidnapping Debbie and forcing her into heterosexual conversion. Wilson doesn’t believe Eve. Patty cries at the idea of kidnapping Debbie.
DISTRESS: Patty for being accused of kidnapping her daughter, and Eve for not finding out what she wanted to learn.
They drag Eve out of Patty’s house in handcuffs to take her back to jail.
DISTRESS: She did not get what she wanted and is going back to jail.
Turning Point: As they are taking Eve back to jail, she escapes.
EXCITEMENT/WINNING: Eve escapes!
Act 4
AJ: Eve takes an FBI car and runs. Wilson sends officers to follow her, but not apprehend her. Let’s see where she goes. She might lead us to Debbie.
Wilson gets a call from an irate Supervisor at the CIA. Why is he still holding Eve? Her blood test proves she could not have kidnapped Debbie the night before.
Wilson confronts Marra. He says he did not think it was important. She still could have kidnapped Debbie. He tells him that was not your call to make. Meet me back at the office. In the car ride he calls someone and tells them to bring in the guy who was dating Debbie and the waitress.
Eve loses the FBI guys following her, and steals another car. She realizes someone is following her but not the FBI. She abandons a car and hides in plain sight. She runs into a group of trees. She rubs her arms and face with dirt she so is less conspicuous. She quickly climbs up into a tree and cannot be seen.
EXCITEMENT: On the run!
Debbie’s boyfriend is at the FBI office. He was dating Debbie, but she wasn’t into him. He felt there was someone else. He told Agent Marra. Wilson looks surprised. He asks for Marra but he has not come back yet.
The people chasing her come out. One of them is agent Marra but the two others are not FBI men. They approach her tree and she can hear their conversation. One says we have to get back and move Debbie. The location is no longer safe. Eve realizes they are the kidnappers. Marra says let’s try to find Eve.
BETRAYAL: Marra is one of the kidnappers!
They split up and run deeper into the woods. As they look for her in the woods, she gets in their trunk and hides. They come back and drive away.
EXCITEMENT: she outwits them and they drive her to Debbie!
TJ: Debbie is distraught. A man chastises her for not accepting her treatment and taking the next step in her recovery. He shows her lingerie. She shakes her head no.
DISTRESS: Continued abuse of Debbie.
Julie arrives at FBI headquarters to pick up Eve. Wilson tells her she escaped. Julie asks what’s the matter with you people? I told you she was drugged. Wilson says she escaped before he found that out. Julie says I told Marra hours ago, and I showed him pcitres of me, Eve and Debbie. I met Debbie. They were definitely dating. He believes Eve is innocent.
WINNING: Agent Wilson finally sees that Eve is innocent!
PJ: Agent Marra and the two men stop at an old house in the woods and get out. When she can no longer hear them, she gets out and sneaks around the house. She sees Debbie in a window, crying. A man stands over her talking to her. He moves close to her and she slaps him. He punches her face and knocks her down. Eve breaks into the window and fights him and wins.
LOVE/WINNING: Eve rescues Debbie!
Debbie is freaked out by the fight. At first when she sees Eve she is frightened from the shock treatments. Eve stays at a distance and talks calmly to her. She tells her we have to leave now before the other men come in.
The door opens and one of the non-FBI guys enters. He screams and attacks Eve. Debbie screams. Eve beats the guy up and knocks him out.
Eve tries to get Debbie to leave but she is too freaked out. Another guy comes in and pulls a gun on Eve. Debbie freaks out and distracts the guy and Eve disarms him and knocks him out. She turns to Debbie. Debbie smiles and says “You came for me.” Eve smiles and they hug and Eve helps her out the window.
They run toward the woods but Agent Marra stops them. Eve stands in front of Debbie. He has two guns. He will kill them both and say he found their bodies. Murder suicide by Eve.
Eve quickly slips behind Debbie and begs Marra not to kill her. She is a fellow officer. She won’t report him if he just kills Debbie.
BETRAYAL: Eve will throw Debbie under the bus!
Debbie is stunned. Marra laughs hysterically saying I thought you loved her. Eve slips out from behind Debbie with a pistol and shoots Marra and says, I do love Debbie.
LOVE/EXCITEMENT/WINNING: Eve outwits Marra and rescues Debbie.
Marra shoots Eve in the shoulder. She falls, but gets off another shot and kills Marra.
DISTRESS: Eve is shot.
Eve takes Marra’s phone and calls Wilson.
Wilson arrives and takes Debbie and Eve to the hospital. Debbie is treated for shock and emotional distress. Eve is treated for her injuries.
Climax:
PJ: Patty arrives at the hospital and acts innocent and happy to see Debbie. Eve tricks her Patty into confessing. [HOW DOES SHE TRICK HER?]
WINNING: Eve finds the real kidnapper, Debbie’s mother.
Resolution:
Eve and Debbie share a hospital room. Eve asks Debbie to marry her.
LOVE.
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Veronica Turowski’s Emotional Moments
What I learned from doing this assignment is I had depth to my characters but now they are stronger.
My Vision: I want to be a successful writer who writes several scripts a year and sells them to producers who are eager to make my vision a reality by bringing my scripts to completion so everyone can watch my movies on the big screen.
Concept: While at a funeral, a professional mourner is told by the deceased they were murdered, but when no one believes the mourner, she decides to find and stop the serial killer before he kills his next victim, only to discover she is a ghost and is the mother of the serial killer.
Title: Justice from the Grave
Genre: Supernatural Thriller
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ACT 1:
SURPRISE/DISTRESS/BETRAYAL: Hayden kills Lonnie. Lonnie is surprised after all his family did for Hayden after that night.
DISTRESS: Eppsa mourns at graves. She is a ghost and wants to pass over.
SURPRISE: Eppsa sees a ghost and can talk to him.
BONDING: Lonnie and Eppsa bond when Lonnie pleads for help.
SHOCK/MORAL ISSUE: Hayden knows it’s wrong to kill in front of his son, but he still hides bodies and disposes of them when Evren is around.
HIDDEN WEAKNESS/WOUND: Eppsa mourns her life that was cut short. She doesn’t know her husband killed her.
ACT 2:
WOUND: She’s angry because she thinks Lonnie is playing games with her. She’s also upset because she feels ignored by people.
MUTUAL WOUND: Eppsa is in denial there’s a serial killer. Lonnie gets angry she doesn’t believe him. He feels connected to Eppsa, but it’s because her son killed him.
DISTRESS: Since the cop only hears static on the phone, she gets frustrated and slams the phone down. Technology fails her, too.
SURPRISE: The cold air Hayden feels in the police station is the spirit of his dead mother.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Eppsa is a ghost who can’t move on. She believes in God but can’t figure out how to pass over herself.
WOUND: In high school, Hayden watched his dad kill his mom and then kill himself. He kills because that is what he knows.
BONDING/LOVE: Hayden and Evren bond while fishing.
BONDING: Eppsa and Bess bond because they are ghosts and don’t know they are ghosts.
SURPRISE: Clair can see Lonnie and other ghosts. Clair tells Eppsa there’s going to be another killing.
SHOCK: Hayden kills Tavish and reveals why he’s killing his old friends.
DISTRESS: Lonnie can feel that Hayden killed Tavish.
TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT:
BONDING: Finnick is shocked to see Hayden. He and Hayden reminisce over old times, but Finnick has trepidations/anxiety because of the past.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Lonnie wants to pass over, but he can’t because if he does, Hayden will never be revealed, and the killings will continue. God’s giving Lonnie a chance to right a wrong from his past.
SURPRISE/EXCITEMENT: Hayden is searching for his next victim, Kenji.
DISTRESS/SURPRISE: Bess is a ghost, and the bicyclist was trying to avoid her. Eppsa sees the ghost of the bicyclist who died after being hit by a car.
ACT 3:
DISTRESS: Eppsa realizes the victims went to school with Hayden. She must protect him from the serial killer.
BONDING: Hayden is grooming Evren to become a serial killer since he thinks it’s genetic.
EXCITEMENT/SURPRISE: Eppsa’s husband, Gruzby, is in Hell.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Lonnie loves Jesus and wants to go to Heaven, but he can’t go to Heaven until Hayden is stopped.
BONDING: Eppsa and Bess are ghosts who are discussing why Lonnie can’t pass over, although neither of them can pass over because they don’t know they are dead.
BONDING/LOVE: Hayden idolizes Gruzby and emphasizes how Evren is just like his grandfather.
SURPRISE/EXCITEMENT: Hayden smells Lonnie’s cologne and knows Lonnie’s presence is there.
SURPRISE: Eppsa recognizes Monroe and remembers he was Hayden’s friend. Now, she fears Hayden is going to be a victim.
DISTRESS: Eppsa ignores Lonnie. He is desperate for Eppsa to help him.
DISTRESS/SURPRISE: Hayden kills again.
DISTRESS: Eppsa can’t find Hayden to warn him a serial killer is after him.
BONDING/LOVE: Hayden plays board games with his wife and son.
DISTRESS: He threatens his wife when she brings up her concern over Evren’s killing/dismembering something.
MUTUAL WOUND: Eppsa turns to Palmer because she wants Lonnie to pass over and leave her alone. Palmer is a ghost and can’t find peace, either.
SURPRISE/EXCITEMENT/DISTRESS: Hayden kills someone other than his old high school friends.
WOUND: Eppsa is distraught over Kenji’s death. She’s more depressed because no one cares about him.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Clover wants Lonnie to tell Eppsa she’s a ghost and her son is the serial killer. Lonnie fears Eppsa will hate him or will think he’s a traitor if he tells her the truth.
WOUND/SHOCK: Hayden’s dad was a serial killer.
BETRAYAL: Eppsa feels betrayed that Lonnie accuses Hayden of being a serial killer.
BETRAYAL/SHOCK: Neta has known Hayden is a serial killer.
SURPRISE/EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: Eppsa is a ghost, and she learns Hayden is a serial killer.
DISTRESS/COURAGE: Eppsa confronts Hayden.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA/SACRIFICE: Can she truly make him kill himself? If she doesn’t, Hayden will continue killing. He’s not getting revenge on his friends. It’s just an excuse to kill. His killing won’t stop with his friends.
BOND: Bess discovers she is a ghost. Eppsa helps Bess and Hayden’s other victims pass over.
RESOLUTION:
SHOCK/SURPRISE: Evren will become a serial killer.
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Bobby’s Emotional Moments
What I learned doing this assignment is…. this is a great way to track your story from an emotional standpoint – I’m finding “ACT III” scenes that really need to go in Act 2, etc.
MY VISION: A writing life that is mine to do with as I please. Independently wealthy, always creatively engaged, sought after, and utterly fulfilled.
Title: JASON VS THE ZOMBIES
Genre: HORROR/COMEDY
Log Line: A tormented, aspiring serial killer is forced to join with the bullies that were his intended victims when their cabin is attacked by zombies from the nearby Civil War graveyard.
INT. ACT I
VICTORY: Jason slays the dragon (in his dream); kills Matt and wins the girl.
HUMILIATION: Jason is forced to bring food to his high school tormentors. Hack pulls his pants down, dropping all the food on Jason. To make matters worse, his boss fires him for the broken dishes and ruined food.
FEAR/WOUND: Jason’s dad sides with the bullies. Punches him, and tells him it’s a good thing his mom died, so she didn’t have to see what he turned into. We see just how alone and scared Jason is.
BETRAYAL/WOUND: Jason watches out his window as Matt drops Molly off, and they make out on his car. The exact opposite of Jason’s dream world.
INT. ACT II
DETERMINATION/COURAGE MONTAGE: Jason “arms himself for war,” vowing to make his dreams a reality. Sneaks into sleeping father’s bedroom, and steals his gun.
DISTRESS/PANIC: Jason falls into an empty grave while following behind the group in the woods. Claustrophobia takes over, and Jason has to find a way out on his own.
MORAL DILEMMA: Jason has his first opportunity to kill one of his tormentors, CHET, who is peeing in the woods. He can’t do it. Then –
SHOCK/HORROR: While Chet is mocking Jason, his chest explodes from a bullet! He’s dead! And…. ZOMBIES ARE REAL! A zombie feasts on Chet’s corpse.
HIDDEN WEAKNESS/WOUND: Hack kills the zombie, and realizes that Jason was there to kill them all. He challenges Jason to kill him first – and Jason can’t do it. He keeps “proving his father right.”
HUMILIATION TIMES TEN: Brought into cabin by Hack, everyone mocks Jason again. They laugh when he tells them about zombies, and Hack pretends not to know.
BETRAYAL: Molly backs down to Matt? Not sure I like this…
PANIC: Zombies attack, both inside and out. The group has nothing to defend itself with.
INT. ACT III
BONDING/SUSPENSE: Jason and Matty go through pipes in basement to get his bag of weapons in the woods. Jason battles claustrophobia, Matty helps him through it.
BETRAYAL/REVEAL: Jason’s purpose is revealed. He was there to kill them all.
TERROR: Zombies blast through windows. Group has to flee upstairs.
DREAD: Left behind, Hack moves to basement, and lets zombies in through pipe.
INT. ACT IV
BONDING/DREAD: Jason and Matt bond over old pictures. Matt reveals how scared of Hack he is – Hack is a sociopath.
SHOCK/DREAD: Hack is now a zombie – but still retains sense of self. Shows zombies servants’ passage to upstairs.
COURAGE/VICTORY: Jason kills Hack; leads group to safety.
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Amechi’s Emotional Moments
MY VISION
I am going to be in the top 1% of action/comedy writers in the industry who writes major action films.
What I learned from doing this lesson is to build or enhance my emotional moments at this stage. I felt I was able to elevate some of the moments I already had, and also built in some scenes and moments where these emotions could hit.
ACT 1
Positive Emotions
• Surprise – Black Out is shot.
• Bonding – Urging Black Out to Survive in the car
• Excitement – Black Out arrives to save him.
• Courage – Helping Blackout from the car and into the house.
• Success/Winning –
• Love – He loves Black Out
Negative Emotions
• Wounds – Seeing Blackout Hurt
• Emotional Dilemma –
• Betrayal – Black Out stopping Rhapsody
• Moral issue – Should they kill people who try to kill them?
• Hidden weakness – Should Kanaan get up and fight to help Black Out or stay down? He is scared.
• Distress – Watching his hero maybe die
• Sacrifice – Throws himself into fight to save Black Out
ACT 2
Positive Emotions
• Surprise
• Bonding – Training with Mars
• Excitement – Going out with Rhapsody
• Courage – Joining the fight
• Success/Winning – Winning the fight with Rhapsody
• Love – A growing affection and respect with Rhapsody
Negative Emotions
• Wounds – Black Out’s physical wrecked body
• Emotional Dilemma
• Betrayal – Rhapsody followed him to his house
• Moral issue
• Hidden weakness – He’s fearful of losing, getting hurt
• Distress – At the table while his family talks badly about him
• Sacrifice
ACT 3
Positive Emotions
• Surprise
• Bonding – Rhapsody being complimentary to Kanaan about his family and asking him to go out to fight crime with her.
• Excitement – Kanaan and Rhapsody fighting together.
• Courage – Kanaan stepping to fight and confront the mayor
• Success/Winning – Kanaan winning the fight
• Love – Kanaan’s love for his family / His attraction to Rhapsody
Negative Emotions
• Wounds – Rhapsody is lonely. Her parents are dead and Black Out and Mars are the only ‘family’ she has left. / Kanaan tells Rhapsody to stay away from his family
• Emotional Dilemma – Rhapsody challenges Kanaan and asks him how much of himself he is willing to sacrifice for this life they lead.
• Betrayal – Rhapsody leaving Kanaan behind
• Moral issue – Mother feels responsible for Kanaan getting into trouble and says she should have done more to protect him.
• Hidden weakness – He is scared of dying, but stands up and faces it.
• Distress – Pain at Mars’s death
• Sacrifice –
ACT 4
Positive Emotions
• Surprise
• Bonding – Blackout and Kanaan
• Excitement – Fighting Rhapsody
• Courage – Fighting Rhapsody, getting back up.
• Success/Winning – Winning the fight against Rhapsody
• Love
Negative Emotions
• Wounds
• Emotional Dilemma – Who does Black Out side with?
• Betrayal – Black Out siding against Rhapsody
• Moral issue – Should Black Out stop Rhapsody from acting on his behalf? Is he responsible for her actions?
• Hidden weakness – Rhapsody taking advantage of Black Out’s injury / Kanaan being afraid of Rhapsody again.
• Distress
• Sacrifice
OUTLINE UPDATE
Beginning: Rhapsody in regular clothes, beats up a group of thugs who attack her and leaves them where they can be seen, then sits in an apartment that is decorated like a shrine to the superhero Black Star.
Beginning: Kanaan helps with a self-defense class but can’t defend himself or other people. He gets beaten up and just takes it.
Surface Layer: Kanaan is an awkward, afraid, and poor loner, who cleans toilets at a gym, doesn’t get paid, and can’t get a ride home that night.
Beginning: Rhapsody is Black Star’s loyal sidekick and protects him while they fight crime and protect the city. She goes too far in a fight and he has to stop her killing someone. After a heated argument about how to be a hero, he sends her home.
Betrayal – Black Out stopping Rhapsody
Moral issue – Should they kill people who try to kill them?
SET UP: The Mayor gives a speech about fear of crime in the city. There is a mural that says there is a hero in all of us, dedicated to the fallen superheroes.
Kanaan won’t take money from his parents or move back home.
Kanaan is followed down the street by a cop car. He doesn’t look at it. It speeds away. (His mother was spying on him.)
Inciting Incident: Kanaan is afraid of the city, a victim, oppressed. He is attacked while on his way home. Black Star is injured saving Kanaan and Kanaan saves his life. SET UP: Black Star is wounded by a super weapon.
Excitement – Black Out arrives to save him.
Negative Surprise – Black Out is shot.
Hidden weakness – Should Kanaan get up and fight to help Black Out or stay down? He is scared.
Sacrifice – Throws himself into fight to save Black Out, but too late, the bad guys have run away.
Wounds – Seeing Blackout Hurt
Black Star allows Kanaan to help him get home. Kanaan rides in Black Star’s car as it automatically drives them home.
Distress – Watching his hero maybe die
Bonding – Urging Black Out to Survive in the car
Love – He loves Black Out and doesn’t want him to die.
Courage – Helping Blackout from the car and into the house.
Kanaan meets Mars, Black Star’s helper and assistant and they carry him inside to give him treatment.
Kanaan is scared about what Black Star’s death could and wants to flee.
Rhapsody sees Kanaan in their home and attacks him to get the truth about what happened to Black Star. Kanaan tells her that he saved Black Star’s life and about the weapon and can identify the tattoos of the man who had it.
Rhapsody blames herself for not being there for Black Star and he agrees. Then she blames him for sending her home against her will. Rhapsody is concerned about presenting as a hero but she is deathly afraid of losing her status as Black Star’s sidekick.
Kanaan questions Mars as Mars walks him out. Mars pretends sincerity and concern. He also cuts people and himself down with witty and degrading remarks. He wishes he could be heroic, but is only a teacher now at his advanced age.
Turning Point 1: Kanaan asks if he can help Black Star as a reward for saving his life, and Black Star says Kanaan has earned Black Star’s trust and is allowed to be part of the investigation despite Rhapsody’s objection.
Turning Point 1: Rhapsody corners Kanaan in Black Star’s lair, turns out the lights on him, and asks him what he’s doing there. She realizes that Kanaan is a threat to her relationship with Black Star. He says he is just there to help them.
Act 2: Kanaan works with Black Star to investigate the mayor and tries to make friends with Rhapsody who resists and tries to push him out.
Kanaan leads Rhapsody back to where Black Star was injured and get into a fight with the same guys who are still in the area.
Excitement – Going out with Rhapsody
Hidden weakness – He’s fearful of losing, getting hurt
Courage – Joining the fight
Love – A growing affection and respect with Rhapsody when he sees her fight.
Success/Winning – Winning the fight with Rhapsody
Rhapsody and Kanaan catch the guy who shot Black Star, after Rhapsody uses Kanaan as bait. After he calls Black Star weak, Rhapsody violently kills him. Kanaan lets another guy go against her command. Rhapsody didn’t want any witnesses and is angry with him. Rhapsody brings one of the weapons home and steals the guy’s phone. Kanaan steals some explosives.
Turning Point 1: Black Star allows Kanaan to help him go after the guys who injured him. He wants to see lawbreakers punished, no matter how small.
Act 2: Black Star wakes up. He almost died. He allows Kanaan to help with the investigation and helps to train him to fight properly.
Wounds – Black Out’s physical wrecked body
Black Star’s mentor, Mars, trains Kanaan to fight properly and increases his confidence. Kanaan knows how to defend himself. He has just been faking that he can’t fight, or is it because he’s scared?
Bonding – Training with Mars
Rhapsody argues with Black Star about her role with him. She wants more autonomy and wants them to take off the limits of not killing since he almost died. A message must be sent. Black Star is a man of steel, cool, tough, ruthless, a great hero. / He is often a caricature of the hero, too big for a real person to live up to. He is holding Rhapsody back instead of helping her to grow.
Kanaan sees Black Star taking a powerful drug to help get over the pain of his injury. There has been more violence that night and the city needs him after his short absence.
Kanaan’s cleaning is important to the dojo. It has gone downhill without him. His friend criticizes Black Star. SET UP: Kanaan sees Black Star as a symbol of peace and safety.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Black Star is not liked by the people of the city, but Kanaan convinces him to keep fighting for them.
Act 2: Rhapsody works to prove that Kanaan cannot help them and tries to pressure him to leave them alone. She investigates his life but can’t figure out where he lives. She tries to find out in sneaky ways but he is very secretive and she can’t keep up when following him.
Kanaan steals the phone from Rhapsody and heads out to find out who the guy’s bosses were. Mars follows him.
Mars and Kanaan hang out together. Mars used to fight crime but he got old and slow and can’t do what he used to. He wishes he still could, his mind is still sharp and he misses it. It’s like a drug. Kanaan wants to be a hero, but must get over his guilt. He presents as a helper, but his ideas and actions often get in the way.
Kanaan discovers that the man knows someone who works for the Mayor. While waiting for his interview, He makes his rival for the job put back the extra free water bottle they take. Black Star is hesitant to go after the Mayor who he thinks is doing a great job trying to make the city safer.
Influences Surface Story: Kanaan is able to get a job with the Mayor.
Hidden weakness – He’s fearful of messing up the interview, but stands up for himself.
Kanaan joins the Mayor’s street team for one of his charities to get information on who in his administration is working with the criminals to deal weapons. Eavesdrops on a conversation that concerns the Mayor.
Rhapsody is unhappy when Black Star takes credit for her work and releases a story to the media about the weapon she recovered. This is a pattern of behavior with him that she hates.
SET UP: The weapons have been brought in by a criminal gang. Mars and Kanaan discover.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Rhapsody presents what she’s founds to Black Star, who rejects her evidence because it is redacted and she can’t prove anything. She follows Kanaan to his parents’ house and has dinner with his family, getting more intel on him.
Rhapsody warns Kanaan that he cannot be one of them. She’s skeptical of his intentions.
Kanaan returns to the gym and is a better fighter. He takes on his old friend in a fight and beats him easily, showing he’s been learning this whole time where he was just taking beatings in fights. He is becoming darker and angrier.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Black Star’s mentor is killed and Kanaan takes over his responsibilities, despite Rhapsody’s protests.
Act 3: Kanaan and Rhapsody break in to the Mayor’s penthouse to steal his computer but Rhapsody leaves Kanaan behind. He has to stand up for himself and fight his way out and makes a deal with the Mayor to be let go.
Black Star is crushed by the death of his mentor and turns to more drugs to take his mind off of it. Kanaan subtly blames Rhapsody who is furious with him. Kanaan stays to comfort Black Star and Rhapsody leaves.
Black Star tells Kanaan to go home, he will be okay and doesn’t want to be a burden on Kaanan’s life. Kanaan says he will do whatever Black Star needs him to do.
Kanaan goes to have dinner with his family and Rhapsody follows him and crashes the party. Rhapsody reveals that she had issues with her parents who are both dead now, but is that even true?
Betrayal – Rhapsody followed him to his house
Kanaan tries to get Rhapsody to leave but she pretends that the two of them are in a relationship, getting close to his family in the process. Rhapsody learns the neighborhood that Kanaan lives in by questioning his mother.
Kanaan tries to get Rhapsody to confess things about herself to his parents but she is just making things up.
SET UP: Kanaan’s mom says he always wanted to do more and she’s sad to see him failing at life.
Rhapsody talks to Kanaan’s mother and finds out about his arrest and legal trouble as a young person. While she’s doing this, she misses meeting up with Black Star who has been calling her.
Kanaan tells his mother that she doesn’t have to worry about him. He’s almost got his dream job.
Act 3: Rhapsody lets her investigation of Kanaan get in the way of helping Black Star get the weapons off the street. She has a big fight with Blackout who is convinced that she is working against him, so she goes to get definitive proof that Kanaan has bad intentions and finds his apartment.
Love – Kanaan’s love for his family / His attraction to Rhapsody
Rhapsody gets Kanaan to admit his criminal past in front of his family. They know about it, but it’s painful for him to relive it.
Moral issue – Mother feels responsible for Kanaan getting into trouble and says she should have done more to protect him.
Distress – At the table while his family talks badly about him
Wounds – Rhapsody is lonely. Her parents are dead and Black Out and Mars are the only ‘family’ she has left. / Kanaan tells Rhapsody to stay away from his family
Rhapsody tells Kanaan that she’s going to tell Black Star what he confessed to. Kanaan is sad but wants to keep working with them. He needs that purpose in his life.
Emotional Dilemma – Rhapsody challenges Kanaan and asks him how much of himself he is willing to sacrifice for this life they lead.
Bonding – Rhapsody being complimentary to Kanaan about his family and asking him to go out to fight crime with her.
Mars passes on a message from Black Star to Rhapsody because she isn’t answering him. She tells him that she has to go to school like they both wanted for her. He accepts her answer but she won’t say how school is going.
Mars agrees to do something for Black Star because Rhapsody is missing, at dinner with Kanaan’s family. Mars is killed being a hero one final time.
Distress – Pain at Mars’s death
Kanaan returns to the gym. This time he fights back against his old friend, standing up for Superheroes and Black Star’s reputation, injuring the student who has been beating him up, and then taking down his friend who is teaching the class.
SET UP: The criminal gang have ties to the Mayor.
Rhapsody apologizes to Kanaan and invites her along to steal proof of the Mayor’s misdeeds. He accepts and goes along.
Rhapsody takes Kanaan to the Mayor’s penthouse. He tries to bond with her. She leaves him behind and he is almost killed by security. Kanaan is forced to stand up for himself and fight the Mayor’s bodyguards.
Excitement – Kanaan and Rhapsody fighting together.
Betrayal – Rhapsody leaving Kanaan behind
Hidden weakness – He is scared of dying, but stands up and faces it.
Courage – Kanaan stepping up to fight and confront the mayor
Success/Winning – Kanaan winning the fight
SET UP: But work exclusively with the Mayor’s Aide. The Mayor knew nothing about it.
REVEAL: The Mayor’s Aide is undermining safety in the city.
Rhapsody has Kanaan’s address and goes to his apartment. She confronts the guys in the street who she beats up in the opening scene.
Rhapsody explores Kanaan’s apartment and sees he has an unhealthy obsession with Black Star. Kanaan’s apartment explodes while Rhapsody is inside.
Kanaan thinks Rhapsody is dead. He goes to meet Black Star and tells him that he doesn’t know where Rhapsody is, although he suspects that she is dead. He has no apartment to go to so Black Star lets him stay.
Turning Point 3: Rhapsody goes to Kanaan’s apartment (the apartment from the opening scene), which is blown up. Rhapsody survives the murder attempt and goes after Kanaan, who she believes set her up to die.
Hints: Kanaan escaping the Mayor’s penthouse after investigating and talking to the Mayor. Their ideologies lining up near the end.
Changes Reality: They were manipulating Black Star. Can they work together and be allies?
Influences Surface Story: Kanaan survives Rhapsody leaving him to die.
Act 3: Black Star has had many sidekicks, and has a shrine where he keeps things that remind him of them. Black Star thinks about giving up. Kanaan talks him into continuing.
Kanaan thinks Rhapsody is dead. He goes to meet Black Star and tells him that he doesn’t know where Rhapsody is, although he suspects that she is dead. He has no apartment to go to so Black Star lets him stay.
Rhapsody tells Kanaan that she is coming to kill him.
Turning Point 3: Black Star reveals his identity to Kanaan.
Turning Point 3: Kanaan thinks he is Black Star’s sidekick now, but Rhapsody is alive and coming after Kanaan.
Black Star confronts the Mayor. His aide must go to jail for what he’s done. This was the Mayor’s doing. Black Star kills her assistant, breaking his no death rule. He says that the City needs the Mayor for now and to consider this a warning. The Mayor says that Black Star needs to discipline Rhapsody in return for what she has done.
Should Black Out stop Rhapsody from acting on his behalf? Is he responsible for her actions?
Rhapsody is furious when she sees Kanaan in a superhero costume similar to hers.
Act 4 Climax: Kanaan denies having anything to do with Rhapsody’s near death and fights Rhapsody.
Act 4 Climax: Black Star and Kanaan fight Rhapsody. Rhapsody shoots Black Star with the weapon, stunning him, nearly killing him, and Kanaan has to step back into the fight to save him.
Emotional Dilemma – Who does Black Out side with?
Rhapsody fights Kanaan. He criticizes himself and his past, but wonders if punishing himself forever is the right path.
Act 4 Climax: Rhapsody fights Kanaan, but Black Star intervenes on Kanaan’s side.
Betrayal – Black Out siding against Rhapsody
Courage – Fighting Rhapsody, getting back up.
Rhapsody takes advantage, hitting him on his wound. Kanaan has to fight her alone again. He knocks Rhapsody into the river, leaving her seemingly dead.
Success/Winning – Winning the fight against Rhapsody
Hidden weakness – Rhapsody taking advantage of Black Out’s injury / Kanaan being afraid of Rhapsody again.
Resolution: Black Star adds Rhapsody’s mask to his shrine, and appoints Kanaan as his new sidekick.
Resolution: Kanaan is Black Star’s new sidekick and they protect the city together.
Resolution: Rhapsody survives. She has been rescued by the mayor and is turned against Black Star and the city and wants to see both suffer.
Deeper Layer: Kanaan is working with the Mayor to get Black Star to go after organized criminals that are ruining his reelection campaign.
Major Reveal: At the end, Kanaan talks with the Mayor and reveals that their plan has worked.
Bonding – Blackout and Kanaan
Resolution: Kanaan is now Blackout’s sidekick and helper. Rhapsody has survived, but joins the criminals to cause chaos in the city as revenge against Blackout and Kanaan who are now a crime fighting team. Kanaan meets with his family and says he is making a difference now. A criminal gang is harassing a woman. Kanaan, in his superhero costume steps in to save her.
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Edward Brown
daydream, drive, walk barefoot in grass, fromally option possibiliies, write sell sail
learned I need to bring more emotions into celebrating and depressing
onmy visual boards
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Linda’s Emotional Moments!
My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer with many successful movies produced and an Oscar on my mantel.
What I learned doing this assignment is I can set up my emotional moments more powerfully. Just switching the order of a few scenes helped improve the emotional impact.
ACT 1:
Distress/Emotional Dilemma/Love: A cartel leader has come for Joaquin and his family.
Bonding/Wound: Rodrigo, the drug lord, announces a competition for his successor then shares with Joaquin that he owed his father, his former bodyguard a debt for saving his life, which he has been repaying by keeping Joaquin and his family safe.
Surprise: Joaquin receives an anonymous threat from a man confident he will win the competition – he suspects Dante, but it is Arturo.
Hidden Weakness/emotional dilemma: Joaquin must decide whether to enter the competition or put his fate and his family’s in the hands of the new drug lord.
Success: Joaquin blows up a competing drug cartel lab, earning his first points in the competition.
ACT 2:
Distress: Joaquin is now a target of the competitors, and the threats to his family increase.
Moral Issue: Can Joaquin win without compromising his morals, and if not, will he violate them?
Betrayal: A friend betrays his confidence to the assumed winner of the competition.
Surprise: Joaquin suspected the friend and used the betrayal he predicted to his advantage.
Betrayal: Joaquin learns his wife and Arturo had a love relationship in the past and she never told him.
Emotional Dilemma: Backed into a corner, will he kill a man or be killed?
ACT 3:
Distress: A rapist is keying in on his daughter.
Success: He kills the rapist while earning much needed points in the competition.
Emotional Dilemma: Dante offers Joaquin a position high in his organization if he drops out of the competition.
Wound/Courage: Instead of taking the offer, Joaquin is going to fight to get his family out of the cartel. His father never wanted him in it, but he wouldn’t listen to his dad and joined leading to a fight that distracted his father that night and got him killed.
Distress: Joaquin runs up against smugglers and then border patrol.
ACT 4:
Sacrifice/Betrayal: Joaquin’s wife, Camila makes a deal with the devil and sleeps with Arturo.
Distress: Looks like Arturo is going to win the competition.
Success: Joaquin arrives just in time to show he killed the director of border patrol.
Moral Issue: Rodrigo hands Joaquin a gun asking for mercy, to be put out of pain. Joaquin kills him, then all of the top competitors.
Surprise: The director of border patrol is alive.
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Gisele Frazeur’s Emotional Moments
My vision: I am going to work diligently to become a brilliant, reliable screenwriter who is sought after, regularly produced, highly paid, and awarded. Artistic fulfillment and financial freedom will result from the achievement of this goal!
What I learned doing this assignment is: Audiences want to be emotionally engaged in movies.
Title: On the Scent
Genre: Thriller
ACT 1:
Success / Winning: Darin dedicates her FiFi awards to her pregnant sister, Livie.
Distress: After having been shot at – – Darin awakens in the hospital – – and is informed of her pregnant sister’s death.
ACT 2:
Wounds: Darin’s mother, Leighton, accuses Darin of being responsible for Livie’s murder.
Hidden Weakness: Darin, a recovering alcoholic, resumes drinking after years of sobriety – – as a means of coping with Livie’s death.
ACT 3:
Winning: Darin reaches out to her sponsor for help to stop drinking.
Courage: Darin feigns drinking and seduces Hank to extort information from him.
ACT 4:
Courage: Darin shoots Hank.
Love: Darin dedicates her new perfume to her deceased sister, Livie.
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Jacqueline Murphy Emotional Moments August 18, 2022
VISION: To empower myself to go for my dreams to be a great writer, actress and filmmaker who is “Admired”, recognized and sought after by the industry and has many successful TV & Film projects produced that make a difference and inspire others to go for their dreams.
What I learned from doing this assignment having done the beat sheet work, emotional reveals, character journeys I’m more familiar with “how it goes” and was able to put in the emotional moments easily. Now I need to review and make them even more powerful by raising stakes and intensity.
Start this assignment by empowering yourself using our State-To-Activity empowerment process. State: I absolutely love…Activity: …Causing my audience to feel emotional.
2. Give one or two sentence explanation of the emotional moments in each act of your project.
ACT 1
Distress: Olivia loses her mom
Wound: Olivia loss of her mom triggers her wound and now more than ever she needs to be a “star” to fill the void and try to find her father.
Surprise: She meets Mr. Z who can make her dream of being a star happen in exchange for her “Soul” and a family heirloom-a kaleidoscope
Betrayal: Olivia turns against her BBF Angelica when Z tells her that A. is lying.
Sacrifice: Olivia gives up her soul, life in the normal world, niece Norma and the kaleidoscope the only valuable object she had of the father she never knew to be a big movie star. Angelica sacrifices wanting Olivia for herself, not revealing her “romantic love” for her and lets Olivia go for her dream.
ACT 2
Love: Olivia and Z start to fall for each other. Z unaware love weakens his power
Bond: They both share a WOUND of rejection and abandonment as neither knew their real father and both have dreams of power and stardom.
Success/Winning: Olivia has been given her wish to be a big movie-star and Z hinted she could find her father in the Old Hollywood dimension. She enjoys fame. Z has the power of the throne in his grasp as long as O is in the OHD.
Excitement: OHD is new to Olivia and she’s excited to be there “living the dream” UNTIL she’s hurtled into danger
RAISE Stakes: Z wants to keep his control over Olivia and “steal” her power she has no idea she has. Z creates “havoc” with the Studio Head giving her part to the competitive Starlet and brings her old boyfriend Billy into the portal who is addicted to gambling, sex, drugs leaving Olivia beholden to Club Owner Mafia Boss Davey Haze who is smitten with her.
Distress and Hidden weakness: Olivia feeling inadequate and must figure out how to survive here.
Emotional Dilemma: Olivia loves the success but not the price of dealing with all these dangerous people and considers going back to the “real world” BUT Z reminds her “You made your deal Olivia”
Betrayal: Olivia realizes that Z is using her and breaks off the romance which causes Z to feel the pain of his wound of being unloved, rejected and abandoned. They are at odds.
SURPRISE: Olivia ventures out to explore the OHD and visit the cemetery to find clues about her father. She meets a homeless woman she helps who turns out to be the Head Goddess of the Coven and offers to help her find her father, teach her “magic” to survive and hints at Olivia’s true purpose: Ascender to the Throne
Excitement: Olivia practices magic and has some success with the tarot card feeling a bit more in control.
Distress: Angelica missing Olivia time travels revealing she’s her angel and that Olivia’s neice Norma needs her in the real world as she’s in trouble with drugs.
Sacrifice/LOVE: Olivia decides to give up the OHD and return to help Norma but is upset when Z reminds her “she made a deal” and can’t return.
Distress: Olivia explodes knocking the “tarot” cards out of Z’s hand and the Wheel of Fortune card falls into Olivia’s.
Surprise: Her Rage has released her power and Olivia is able to time travel herself back to the Real world
ACT 3
Distress and Surprised at O’s magic abilities, Z panics as the “portal” is closing, time running out and he needs to have O n the OHD to “steal” her power. Z betrays O further by luring Norma into the portal and making her a star to compete with Olivia and causing Olivia to follow.
LOVE/Sacrifice: Olivia goes after Norma only to be dissed by her and the both compete as “Oscar Nominees”
ACT 4
Distress: Olivia fed up with the OHD searches her soul visiting the family cemetery and looking for Wanda and the Coven.
Surprise/Breakthrough: The portal is closing with a storm. A lightning bolts hits a tree and her “real” father appears telling Olivia she is the true Ascender of the Throne. He begs her to fight Z to release him from the spell put on him.
Excitement: Z challenges O to a “magic duel” to see who is the rightful ruler.
Surprise Breakthrough: When O grabs the kaleidoscope from his neck the sky opens up, she is thrown into it and can see all the prisms and worlds and that she is the rightful ruler.
SUCCESS/Winning: O’s power is fully “magnetized” by the “electrical storm. A GOLDEN one appears-O’s mom, her father released from the spell and the Coven surround O chanting she’s the ruler . Mom and dad tell O, Z, A and Wanda they are all siblings but O is the only one with the dominant gene to rule.
Moral Issue/Sacrifice: O must give up her desire for fame and rule the Kingdom. Angelica must put her love aside for O and serve her. Z must give up his “dream” to rule and be the Knight in Shining Armor for the Kingdom
LOVE: The whole family is reunited. Olivia and Z work via abandonment issues and know their true purpose.
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Hope’s emotional moments
Vision: To be a working, trusted screenwriter who supports herself by writing smart films that are produced and enjoyed, while also working on writing assignments for other industry professionals.
What I learned: That disempowerment is real! This took forever because I second guessed myself bigtime. Still don’t have acts 3 and 4 figured out, but enough is enough.
ACT 1
Surprise: Assistant Professor of English Marta Jordan directs her characters, from within the book – and they aren’t happy with her editorial indecisiveness. A student-athlete comes for help on his essay.
Distress: While helping struggling student-athlete, Marta avoids calls from her publisher. Learns the dean wants to talk to her next morning.
Distress: Marta again works on her book. Her antagonist, Cyrus, is getting mad. The publisher tells her she has a week to get the book to him or she’ll be in breach of contract.
Sacrifice: In meeting with the dean, Marta learns the college will put her or Professor Andrew Vanderburg on the tenure track – while the other will be let go or be demoted to adjunct faculty. Marta bursts into tears but for the dean who has to make such a difficult decision.
Moral issue: Prof. Vanderburg calls someone as he hatches a plan. David, Marta’s fiancé, gives Andrew the $20 he owes him after David lost the bet over a college basketball game.
Excitement: In his classroom, Andrew shows why he’s such popular professor. The dean watches, pleased.
In her classroom, Marta bores her students, and when she returns essay’s, the bored student-athlete aced his paper, much to Marta’s surprise.
Betrayal: Andrew hires old college buddy to help sabotage Marta’s chances at the faculty position. They plan to exploit David’s gambling weakness.
Surprise: In her office, Marta complains to David that her characters seem to be doing their own thing in the pages. They aren’t doing what she wrote — literally! Andrew pokes his head into the office, and —
Betrayal: Andrew gets buddy-buddy with David, asks him for advice. Invites him out for poker night with the guys.
Love: Marta and David argue about final wedding details. David leaves for a poker convention, tells Marta to do whatever last-minute plans she needs to do – and pick up his tux while she’s at it.
Surprise: Marta’s book’s fictional antagonist, Cyrus Landrake, shows up in her classroom. He tells her that the other book characters voted him the most likely to succeed – at stopping her from ruining their lives.
Suspense: Cyrus tells her that he and some of the other characters are sick of her playing god with their lives. He gives her a choice: prepare to be edited – or make him the hero of her manuscript.
ACT 2
Confusion: Marta pull up her book and discovers Cyrus is no longer in the pages! She’s is convinced this is a scam.
Distress: Marta accuses Andrew of trying to scam her while their careers are held in the balance. Andrew thinks she’s on to him, trying to get to her via David. The student-athlete is in Andrew’s office, too.
Distress: Cyrus follows Marta through her final wedding errands. He creates trouble by editing her wedding plans with the venue and caterer. Tells her she can stop this by making him the hero of her book.
Moral issue: David meets her for dinner, with Andrew tagging along. Marta lies, saying Cyrus is her cousin in town for the wedding. Cyrus edits Marta during dinner.
Dilemma: The dean observes Marta class again, but this time Cyrus takes over, talking about Bronte’s characters as though he knows them. The dean is furious.
AJ 2: Cyrus challenges David, tries to edit him, too, but makes more trouble for Marta.
Moral issue: David makes an outrageous bet for a new wedding venue and loses big. Furious, he throws tantrum, till Cyrus steps in. Marta says David’s anger is understandable.
Betrayal: Andrew lies to dean about Marta’s work to gain an advantage in tenured position.
Turning point: While working on the book, Marta discovers a second character — a maid – has disappeared from her book completely. She storms into Andrew’s office to ask if he’s responsible.
AJ 3: Cyrus introduces Marta to “Rosie,” and they continue “editing” Marta’s life and wedding plans. Marta goes along with a new hairdo and new makeup when Rosie zeros in on Marta’s low self-esteem.
New plan: PJ 3: With new doo and makeup, Marta takes Cyrus and Rosie out on the town. She offers to “set them free” in the real world if they will leave her alone. She’ll write new characters, she says.
Marta’s publisher gives her an ultimatum: Deliver the book in a week or be sued. She panics, and now has major writer’s block. Cyrus offers to help – and gives her story lines for him as the hero.
Love: Cyrus is falling for Marta, knows David is no good for her. Marta sticks up for David, says his childhood was chaotic – and she knows how that feels.
Betrayal: Andrew dares David (fiancé) to take part in a secret bigtime poker match to give Marta best wedding present ever. Challenges him to bet it all, knowing he will.
TP2/midpoint: David disappears. Marta can’t reach David via cell. She discovers David has been written into the pages. Cyrus says he put David into the manuscript.
ACT 3
Rethink everything: PJ: Marta now believes, and she’s terrified to edit – or write –anything with David in the book. Cyrus threatens to delete David for good if she doesn’t make him the hero of her book.
Marta begins writing, but has massive writer’s block.
Still with David missing, Marta returns the final exams and essays. Her student-athlete aces the essay again. She recognizes some of essay’s wording mimics Andrew’s comments about Wuthering Heights. She’s now suspicious!
Andrew reports her odd behavior to dean, ostensibly to get her help, but really to sabotage her career.
Rosie says she’ll convince Cyrus to bring back David if Marta writes her a bigger part in the book, giving her a love interest. Marta’s writer’s block continues.
Surprise: Marta decides to write herself into the manuscript!
This in-book David doesn’t know Marta because Cyrus wrote him that way. This David thinks he’s a butler and falls for Rosie.
Marta leaves the book and edits Cyrus again – turning him into a 10-year-old. But 10-year-old Cyrus turns book-David into a rabbit. The rabbit runs away, and Marta goes back into the book to find him!
Marta explores the world she created. She finds the David-rabbit and brings him back. She tells Cyrus that she’ll turn him into an adult again, if he’ll make David a human again. Cyrus refuses until he’s the book’s hero.
Marta cares for the rabbit and also agrees to make Rosie a governess. She writes like crazy – but misses classes, doesn’t grade papers, and ignores calls from the dean. She’s a mess.
David returns from the poker game after losing BIG. Marta thinks Cyrus turned him into a human again! David goes along with that lie to hide that he lost it all gambling. Then she sees the David-rabbit!
Cyrus admits that real David was never really in the book; he warns Marta about David’s compulsive gambling. She doesn’t believe him. Furious, she does a replace-all on her manuscript – turning Cyrus into a fish. Cyrus is sucked back into the manuscript.
Distress: The dean fires Marta, effective immediately. Andrew is put on tenure track.
ACT 4
In her pjs at home, Marta sends the book to her editor, now with Cyrus as the fish and Rosie as the heroine.
The publisher hates it. Wants the advance back.
Betrayal: Marta contacts a new wedding venue and discovers David gambled away $35K that was for their wedding.
Marta realizes she’s making excuses for David like she used to make excuses for her mother. She calls off the wedding, and kicks David out.
Days later, Marta is out shopping and she sees a poster for an upcoming small-town play – with “Cyrus” in the lead.
Surprise: Marta buys a ticket and goes to the play. She sits in the center, near the front. During one of the scenes, Marta waves at Cyrus. Cyrus flubs his lines.
Marta races backstage after the play ends – and discovers Rosie is part of the backstage crew. Rosie admits to her part in the deception. She and Cyrus come face to face.
Suspense: Marta shows up unannounced at English Department meeting, where announcement to be made, re Andrew’s tenure. But Marta tells the dean that Andrew hacked into her computer in a ruse to sabotage her effort to make tenure. The dean thinks she’s nuts – then Cyrus arrives.
Andrew throws Cyrus under the bus, saying it was his idea. Cyrus admits to his part but counters that Andrew contacted him.
Marta texts on her cell and the student-athlete enters. Marta tells him to tell the dean what he told her after she confronted him with his final essay: Andrew had been writing his final papers to keep him on the basketball team – and to make extra money.
The dean fires Andrew on the spot and offers Marta her job back.
Marta declines. Tells the dean that she sent the book to a new publisher – with Cyrus as the hero – and he loved it.
Resolution: Marta is at a book signing for her now-bestseller; the line goes out the door. The dean appears book in hand for her autograph. He begs her to reconsider returning to her professor role. She would be made a new endowed chair and given time each year to continue writing. Marta says she’ll think about it..
After he leaves, Marta begins autographing a book for the next person in line, asks for the name – and it’s Cyrus!
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Valeriya’s Emotional Moments
My Vision: I am a masterful, ahead-of-the-game, and outside-the-box writer full of ideas and creative energy. My writing is fresh, impactful, iconic, beautiful, and effortless. My projects deliver outstanding commercial and artistic success. I am on the leading edge. I create a lot, it’s fun, quick, and easy. My whole life is that way.
I absolutely love causing my audience to feel emotional.
What I learned from doing this assignment is…
– I have plenty of opportunities for emotional moments yet I need to focus on just a few of them and make them different and rising.
7RDRD4: Robots became too human and people start a dehumanization program to get rid of them. Can a girl brought up by a robot prove that she isn’t one before she and her robot get killed?
1
+ Making a toy for her
+ Saving the baby
– Killing the only person who cares
– Humiliation by the gang
2
+ Making up in a dangerous moment
+ Courage: not giving her robot away
+ Grown up conversation
– Argument where both get hurt
– Betrayal by boyfriend
3
+ Courage: saving people and robots alike
+ People standing with their robots.
– Death of people and their friends
– Betrayal by F11
4
+ Good intentions of the villain
+ Lo teaching 7 about life and how precious it is to her
– Readiness to die for each other.
– Death of 7
BOO WHO HOO: Following her therapist’s advice, a woman asks her “monster-under-the-bed” to come out into the light where she can deal with it… but the monster has other ideas.
1
+ Bonding: Her friend remembering and caring
+ Love: Missing herself
– Distress: Fear of the monster
– Weakness: Victim of her own beliefs
2
+ Success: coming out to family
+ Love and courage: kid.
– Moral issue: using a guy from the club.
– Wound: Awful parents and childhood, guilt.
3
+ Bonding, excitement: real relationship with the guy.
+ Courage: fighting the monster.
– Distress: Physical pain
– Sacrifice: The guy she likes
4
+ Courage: facing her fears.
+ Surprise: it was not her fears but desires.
– Emotional dilemma: her or the kid.
– Doesn’t let anyone close but the monster.
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KRISTIN’S EMOTIONAL MOMENTS
VISION: “I want the personal, professional, and financial freedom and joy that come from writing so well that I’m in demand, selling beyond my wildest dreams, and making worthy projects—on a big scale and with my active, collegial participation.”
CONCEPT: REX APPEAL / Comedy — The true story of a small-town paleontologist who sues the government after the feds seize his T. rex, the largest in the world.
WHAT I LEARNED in this assignment: To critically evaluate the content I “automatically” placed, so as to more consciously craft it to do its best job.
ACT I
Courage + Love: Hanging off a cliff in order to rescue an amazing fossil – all for the love of what he does.
Surprise: Slick Willy goes to the landowner’s house, right after Pete leaves. He announces he’d like to discuss Pete.
Surprise & Distress: June the dinosaur is seized by the feds—and Pete’s heart is split open.
Moral Issue + Love + Sacrifice: Pete “crosses the line” and takes over the seizure in order to ensure that the fossil is packed safely. The love is his love for the dinosaur.
Betrayal: Although the Antagonist isn’t part of Pete’s team, we “trust” him to do the right thing; when we know he’s actually colluding, we feel distrust.
Surprise: Pete announces he’ll sue the government!
ACT 2
Bonding: As Pete speaks transparently to the news cameras, the public (and the town’s children) begin to fall in love with Pete.
More betrayal: When Slick Willy not only recognizes that Pete is innocent, but coerces agents to lie.
Excitement + Love: Pete lays down in front of Sue’s truck as it tries to take her away. The love is his love for the dinosaur.
Betrayal: As Pete and Charlie go through their internal “investigation,” Pete discovers that one of his team has been breaking the law.
Distress: The weight of the indictments threatens everything Pete has built.
Bonding: Pete breaks down / is transparent in front of Bronc. They bond as Bronc helps Pete really get clear about the case—and Bronc asks the hard questions. He also frames the case for everyone to understand.
Surprise: Pete has a dream that helps him discover his inner hero. Was that a DINOSAUR?
ACT 3
Bonding: Pete and Bronc lay out a plan to investigate every count.
Distress + Love + Betrayal: When June is ordered to be auctioned, “things get serious.” Several codefendants let fear overtake them and they run to higher ground.
Wound: The abandonment, along with knowing that his colleague has broken the law, causes Pete to question everything he’s worked for, his own abilities, and what’s important. He suffers from “imposter syndrome.”
Success + Love: When the medicine man says that June and Pete are soul mates (or whatever), Pete feels both love for her and vindication that he is not crazy or wrong. This feeling is continued when Pete visits June in her storage unit.
Excitement: When Bronc initiates the plea bargain conversation, the group imagines that the end is in sight.
Betrayal + Moral Issue: When we learn that the judge is actively against Pete, we feel betrayed. [Not sure if we are supposed to include the parts where we know something the characters don’t know; I assume so, because they are also emotional moments.]
ACT 4
Surprise + possible bonding? When Pete “escapes” for a while and goes fossil hunting, he has an unexpected and supernatural experience. Is someone out there helping him? Yes, he and June “break the case.”
Moral issue: Judge obviously not being neutral throughout the trial—outrageous!
Success/winning + Sacrifice + Moral Issue + Wound: Pete successfully wins the largest of the counts against him. He’s vindicated, both in the public eye and in his own mind re: “am I an imposter, not as smart as academics?” In the trial, he also makes it clear that as the leader, he was responsible.
Success/winning: Bronc leaves the courthouse with a cigar in his mouth.
Wound: Slick Willy acts out when he sees that the public are cheering on Pete.
Betrayal: Pete realizes he was set up from the beginning.
Success/winning + bonding: Pete’s colleagues line up at the prison visiting room to make deals.
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Bob DeCarli Emotional Moments
My Vision: To master my craft to the point where I’ve earned a reputation as the screenwriter top producers, directors, and stars can call upon when they need someone to save the day.
What I learned: That a very large part of the story is conveyed just by listing the story’s emotional moments, meaning emotion is a major part of story.
EMOTIONAL MOMENTS
Act One
YG’s Wife demands that they end their marriage, as they had previously agreed to do after he made it on the bench. YG had been clinging to hope they would reconcile.
YG is humiliated by the Chief Judge, in front of the other judges. She takes away the majority of his cases, and calls it like it is: he’s a former talk radio host who barely made it through a bottom tier law school, then failed the bar numerous times before passing.
US Marshals storm YG’s courtroom to arrest him for murder. Everything he worked to achieve his entire life is being taken away from him.
Act Two
During the escape attempt, YG and DR mutually decline to trust each other and work together, resulting in the death of all the escaping prisoners except themselves and one other, and both of them are nearly killed as well. The Mirror Image of the Bonding Scene Below [Distrust Causing Distress]
After a particular dangerous incident in which YG and DR they are nearly killed, they bond, realizing that they can succeed by trusting and working with each other. An actual friendship begins to develop. [Bonding]
Act Three
YG actually is guilty of murder, just not the one he’s accused. [Hidden Weakness]
After believing that his Law Clerk is the last person from the “legitimate world” who has remained loyal to him, she betrays him, resulting in his capture.
Act Four
DR is killed, as he sacrifices himself to save YG (and for the hope that YG will carry on the fight).
YG pledges to come clean for the crime he actually committed, effectively committing career suicide.
Realization that one of DR’s Dying Acts was to insure that YG would be absolved of the crime he actually committed by shifting the blame elsewhere, YG makes the commitment to be a judge of the people, not corporations.
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WIM Module 4, Lesson 7
Kevin Patrick Goulet’s – Emotional Moments
My vision: Develop a career-making screenplay writing method.
What I learned: It is important to make sure moments are charged with/have an emotional quality. The more personal it can be will allow the characters to work in cadence/better deliver an emotional ‘punch’ component to the scene.
FINDING DOCTOR FUNK
ASSIGNMENT
2. One or two-sentence explanation of emotional moments in each act of your project.
(Reminder: FINDING DOCTOR FUNK is a ‘present-past’ style storytelling screenplay)
Act 1. ——————————————————————————
EXCITEMENT: (1964) Vince is in his zone, playing some of the best jazz of his lifetime, and the ‘standing-room-only’ Hungry-i Jazz club crowd is euphoric as he dazzles at the piano.
WOUND: (1932) Vince’s Father -Vincent Dellaglio- abandons his family; wife Carmella, and young son Vince.
DISTRESS: (1932) Both Vince and his Mother Carmella are excommunicated from their Catholic Parish because of the Parent’s divorce.
LOVE/COURAGE: (1932) Mother Carmella and Grandmother ‘Biddy’ work/live together to support & raise only child Vince.
SURPRISE EXCITEMENT: Lee Mendelson hears a song on Cab’s radio and the sound is intoxicating. The cab driver takes LM to the Hungry Club in S. F. Where he will meet the piano player from the song on the radio.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: (1935) Vince’s Father Vincent awkwardly visits Son Vince, and takes him to places like public parks or down by the ocean, where they mostly sit in silence.
SUCCESS/WINNING: (1946) Vince’s effort to compete in the Senior High School Talent Contest -is nearly sabotaged by a jealous rival musician, but Vince makes it to the main stage at the very last moment and wins (!) Talent contest! Prize: a real club ‘gig’ in Yosemite that summertime.
SURPRISE: (1964) Vince is tracked down and cornered by TV Producer Lee Mendelson at S.F. Club Hungry i. Lee offers Vince the opportunity to score new PEANUTS animated television special …( this is the beginning of the segment of the story’s ‘present’ period of time). Lee Mendelson’s offer signals the start of ‘THE EVENT’ that will change Vince Guaraldi’s life.
SACRIFICE/COURAGE: (1946) Vince is DRAFTED; He must now give up his dream of becoming a Jazz musician. The Army has called up his ‘number’ for active duty in the (pre) Korean War.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA/SURPRISE: (1947) Homesick n Korea, and desperate to play any piano, Vince manages to locate a dusty, out-of-tune, old upright- hidden in a supply room.
EXCITEMENT/BONDING: (1948) Vince finds a couple of other musicians on base and together entertains the troops in the mess hall. One night an unexpected visitor…: None other than THE GENERAL DOUGLAS MACARTHUR comes into THE MESS to hear the music… tells Vince he needs to get the hell out of there and get home- become a professional musician…!
Act 2. ——————————————————————————
LOVE: (1948) Vince -back from Korea- looking for work to help support his Mother and Grandmother courts his former high school sweetheart, Shirley Moskowitz.
WOUND (actual physical injury): 1949) Vince nearly loses a finger working at the San Francisco Chronicle Newspaper basement printing press.
SURPRISE/WOUNDS: (1947) Vince is playing local parties, high school dances, college campus auditoriums -anything to play in front of live people.
HIDDEN WEAKNESS: (1950) It is revealed that Vince- [trying to move beyond piano gigs at birthday parties & Bat Mitzvahs] so desperate to land a ‘gig’ playing at a real Jazz club- cannot read sheet music; He learns everything by ‘ear’. Detrimental or very impressive…?
EXCITEMENT/SUCCESS: (1951-52) Vince gets a taste of recording a record as the piano player in Cal Tjader’s band (Tjader is under contract with the Weiss Bros. “Fantasy’ record label).
LOVE: (1952-53) Vince proposes to Shirley Moskowitz and they marry the next year.
WOUND: (1953) At Vince & Shirley’s wedding, Vince’s Father Vincent makes a spectacle of himself and embarrasses Vince.
Personality conflicts between Cal & Vince start to erupt.
SUCCESS/WINNING: (1954-55) Vince auditions musicians for his own Trio – gets his own contract with the Weiss Bros./Fantasy label as a solo act -and eventually his own trio.
SURPRISE/LOVE: (1954-55) Vince learns his wife Shirley is ‘expecting’ a baby; Son David is born the following year.
BONDING/EXCITEMENT: (1956) Vince records his own music with “The Vince Guaraldi Trio” of players- Colin Bailey on drums, Monte Budwig on double bass.
Act 3. ——————————————————————————
SURPRISE/LOVE: (1959, 60) Shirley tells Vince they’re having another child; Daughter Dia arrives.
COURAGE/SACRIFICE: Vince (1961) encounters Comedian Dick Gregory and becomes willingly involved in the CIVIL RIGHTS Movement. Together they march in the streets of S.F., protesting.
BONDING/EXCITEMENT: (1962) Vince records the Album, “Jazz Impressions of Black Orpheus”. It spawns Vince Guaraldi’s first major hit record, ‘Cast Your Fate To The Wind’ (‘A’ side) for ‘Fantasy’ Records (‘Samba De Orpheus’ was the ‘B’ side).
SURPRISE/BONDING: (1963) Vince sees Bola Sete at Bay Area Club one night- ‘wowing’ the crowd with his guitar virtuosity. Bola and V.G. communicate through an interpreter, Bola invites Vince on stage for a couple of songs- an instant friendship begins!
HIDDEN WEAKNESS/MORAL ISSUE/EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: (1963) Vince -between sets at Club- gets a drink, meets flirtatious Gretchen Katamay -seated at the end of a bar- begins a conversation. He is smitten. The beginning of the end of his marriage to Shirley.
SURPRISE: (1963) Vince’s very successful ‘Fantasy Records’ recording of ‘Cast Your Fate To The Wind’ creates a financial windfall for Vince.
HIDDEN WEAKNESS: (1963) One day driving the family station wagon, Vince sees a white Porsche 356 at a traffic light… Slick looking guy with a very pretty girl in the passenger seat. He must get a car like that.
EXCITEMENT/SUCCESS/WINNING: (1963) Ralph Gleason- producer established syndicated Bay Area TV Series ‘JAZZ CASUAL’ invites Brazilian Guitarist Bola Sete, The Vince Guaraldi Trio (Vince, Fred Marshall -Bass, Jerry Granelli -Drums) to record episode # 16 (of 31)- This show is syndicated around the country.
HIDDEN WEAKNESS/MORAL ISSUE/EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: (1964) We see Vince driving his new Porsche 356C -a Black one- w/Gretchen Katamay at his side.
SURPRISE/SUCCESS/WINNING: (1963) V.G.’s “Cast Your Fate To The Wind” WINS a Grammy (but cannot attend the event, collect statue) Best original jazz composition,.
SURPRISE/EXCITEMENT: (1964) Vince in his basement noodling on piano; notes Linus and Lucy are heard… Vince picks up the telephone and dials Lee Mendelson. Lee is very reluctant to listen over the phone but Vince presses Lee,” No! I have to play it for you before I forget it!” This is 1st-time the audience hears LINUS And LUCY (the first 2-3 lines of it anyway). Lee is beyond thrilled/ knows this music is really something new, different -and could be very special for everyone.
SURPRISE/DISTRESS: (1965) Friday, Dec. 3 – CBS has a screening of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” featuring VINCE GUARALDI’S MUSICAL Score-and the CBS Brass absolutely hate everything about it. There is even a TIME MAGAZINE review critic at the screening too. CBS fears the worst: a scathing review, but knows there is no turning back. The show’s air-date is already printed in the TV-GUIDE weekly publication and scheduled to air in ‘Prime-Time’ -8pm., coast-to-coast on Dec. 9th. The CBS Brass is certain (determined?) the 12/9/65 airing of ‘A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS’ will be the one and only time the cartoon will ever be seen.
EXCITEMENT: (1965) TIME MAGAZINE critic gives the new PEANUTS animated show ‘A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS’ glowing praise! Especially Guaraldi’s music! c. It is a Nationally recognized HIT for CBS and Charles Schulz… and Vince Guaraldi.
CBS is stupendously wrong. The show breaks all kinds of viewing records; it is the 2nd highest rated program of any prime time television program (2nd only to ‘Gunsmoke’) that evening in America.
SURPRISE/SUCCESS/WINNING:— Peanuts TV special is a huge hit! CBS orders “It’s The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown”… and many more Guaraldi scored Musical PEANUTS Specials in the years to come.
DISTRESS: Vince is reticent… busy though he is with the recurring PEANUTS television gigs, the live dates at Jazz clubs around the S.F. Bay Area- he is restless; still determined to write a real Jazz ‘Standard’… unaware that he already has accomplished that in LINUS And LUCY’ and with a few other original PEANUTS compositions.
Act 4. ——————————————————————————
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA (1934) Vincent Dellaglio with son Vince (visitation) driving in a car to a nearby park. He parks the car and they remain seated in a car- where they watch grown men play bocce ball… and hardly a word is spoken between them.
BONDING/SACRIFICE: (1967) Miles Davis in the Audience at a S.F. area club. Miles and Vince have a conversation about the state of the industry… Miles extends an offer/wants Vince to join his band…Vince kindly declines.
COURAGE/SACRIFICE: Vince is experimenting with new instruments, new sounds and out an album that doesn’t sell (The Eclectic Vince Guaraldi, 1969). He knows Jazz is dying; Rock and Roll is thriving.
WOUNDS/EMOTIONAL DILEMMA: (1971) Shirley files for divorce again, and this time Vince and Shirley part ways- and their relationship actually improves over the next several years.
WOUNDS: (1970) Vince gets word his Father is in very poor health. Vincent Dellaglio Dies.
HIDDEN WEAKNESS: (1976) Vince out to dinner with Lee Mendelson, and others. Vince- having heartburn, indigestion, mild chest pains… again. It is passed off as a reaction to spice food.
WOUNDS: (Feb. 3, 1976) Butterfield’s Jazz Club. Vince plays old favorites and covers of other current-day artists. Last song of the first set- The Beatles ‘Eleanor Rigby’.
WOUNDS: after the end of the set, Vince is over at the adjacent RED COTTAGE INN with his bandmates. He crosses the room and collapses. Word of Vince’s fatal heart attack spreads. We see various faces; reactions from those who knew him best. Phone calls at first, then a television news story/broadcast: “JAZZ Musician VINCE GUARALDI has died…”
SURPRISE/EXCITEMENT: (2024) Several great Jazz musicians of the ‘present day’ assemble to pay homage to Vince, for it was GUARALDI’S music in the animated PEANUTS TV specials that was the impetus, causing each of them to be hooked on Jazz and one by one- become Professional musicians, like Vince Guaraldi.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kevin Patrick Goulet.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Kevin Patrick Goulet.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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Peter’s Emotional Moments
I write powerful horror movies that make people want to see again and again.
WIL – without emotional attachment, no one cares
Title: Meat Wagon
Emotional Moments
Act 1
Wound: Carlos attends the funeral of his childhood friend, Hector. After the casket is lowered in the ground. He says goodbye and talks about growing up together in the gang. Then calls him a pendejo.
Emotional Dilemma: Carlos is confronted by his old gang after the Hector’s funeral. Jude accuses him of ratting them out while he was in prison. Carlos asks if that were the case, why wasn’t he in federal protection? Jude isn’t listening. He gives Carlos a choice: OD on a packet of meth or watch them kill his family.
Surprise: When Dani and Alejandro deliver empanadas for Carlos’s lunch, she tells him that she’s pregnant with their second.
Love: Carlos loves Dani very much for believing in him while he was in prison when know else would.
Excitement: Carlos and Dani share a moment of joy at the thought of welcoming a new daughter into the world.
Sacrifice: Carlos makes the tough decision to take the tainted meth to safe his family.
Moral issue: Carlos wrestles with the idea of make a deal with the devil.
Act 2
Surprise: Father Diego brings Carlos back from his bad drug trip. He’s lucky to still be alive.
Emotional Dilemma: Does Carlos tell making the deal with Santa Muerte? He thinks twice but tells him saw the Meat Wagon.
Bonding: Carlos looks to the old priest as the father he never had. Fr. Diego tells him that everything is going to be ok.
Surprise: Father Diego is shocked to find out that Carlos knows about the Meat Wagon.
Terror: Dani is attacked in her home that night by the gang. Hiding in the dark is Carlos armed with a poisoned machete. He kills several of his old gang. Jude escapes.
Act 3
Shock: Carlos is shocked when he wakes up inside of the Meat Wagon again– and this time she starts talking to him.
Sorrow: He tries to call Dani on her cell phone. Dani talks strangely. She’s weeping profusely when she tries to talk to him, the signal is lost. Her tone hurts Carlos.
Surprise: Jude shows up at the funeral home and demands to know where Carlos is.
Terror: Jude follows the meat wagon – when he overtakes it, he sees inside and there’s no one driving!
Act 4
Agony: Carlos burns alive (well, dead) in the coffin – he screams but no one can hear him.
Grief: Everyone attending Carlos’s funeral.
Love: Dani forgives Carlos for killing himself.
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M4 LESSON 7: Natalie’s Emotional Moments
My vision is to create and produce award winning stories that make an unforgettable emotional impact on a worldwide audience.
What I learned from this assignment: It’s amazing how the same event portrayed via emotions opens a deeper layer for the character and makes his choice plausible
ACT 1:
Distress: While under a hypnosis, Emily relieves her traumatic experience with the cult and losing her child
Bonding: Susan feels sympathetic for Emily’s discovery of realizing that her daughter is alive
Wounds/Distress: Mike accuses Hagan of killing his father. There is a following flashback where Younger Hagan witnesses his mother being killed by his father
Wound/Hidden weakness: Hagan reacts to LW’s announcement of him not being a heir of his father’s estate because of his wedlock origin
Distress: Cherimoya eavesdrops LW’s conversation with Hagan where Walter is referred to as deranged and unfit to be the heir of the estate
Wound: Emily has a flashback to where she pushed Susan and it looks like she killed her
Surprise/ Excitement: Emily sees Hagan and escapes her confinement in hopes to talk to him
Emotional Dilemma: Emily wants to tell Hagan about her accidentally killing his wife, but fears to be arrested by Mike before she can find her daughter
Wound: Emily rejects Walter’s attempt to protect her from Hagan, stating her despise for him
ACT 2:
Moral Issue: Walter’s flashback where he leaves wounded Susan to die
Surprise: Mike sees Emily’s car accelerating and makes a call to the station where he finds out that she was driving a car registered to a deceased person
Distress: Emily hits a tree trying to outrun Mike’s police car
Hidden Weakness: Walter arranges candles in the chapel that resemble Emily’s drawing
Success/Winning: Emily convinces Mike to bring her to Hagan’s place
Wound: Hagan’s flashback to near burning his father to death
Wound: Mike interrogates Hagan accusing him of killing his wife and their child
Wound: Emily confides Teresa about her love for her daughter whom she never saw in her life
Moral Issue: Emily hears about hagan being accused of killing his wife, but doesn’t tell the truth about what happened to Susan
Success: Cherimoya agrees to meet Emily in the tunnels at midnight
Distress: At Hagan’s office, Emily can’t face him and backs away
Courage: Emily overcomes her fear of the tunnels and descends into a manhole
Love: Emily’s flashback to her childhood with Younger Hagan
Bonding: Cherimoya offers help to Emily who is having a withdrawal
Distress: While purging from Ayahuasca, Emily sees Hagan conducting sacrificial ritual involving a child
ACT 3:
Betrayal: Cherimoya snatches Emily before Hagan’s eyes and takes her back to the estate
Distress: Emily finds manikins with her deceased family member’s face masks made of latex
Hidden Weakness: Hagan learns that Emily was taken back to the estate and rushes after her
Love: Walter dressed as the Phantom, dances with Emily
Surprise: Walter sees that Hagan has arrived, and vanishes from Emily’s sight
Hidden weakness: Hagan looks for Emily, finds the way to the underground warehouse
Surprise: Emily finds Cherimoya’s dress, then sees Teresa wearing latex mask resembling Emily’s face
Emotional Dilemma: Emily releases Walter from his bond
Betrayal: Walter tears off Emily’s clothes and stages a sex scene when Hagan walks in
Moral Issue: Hagan attacks Walter for sleeping with his wife, then leaves
Wound/ Sacrifice: Walter accuses Hagan of being a leader of the cult, states that Hunter is his daughter, not Hagan’s, and ties up Emily to protect her from Hagan and goes to save Hunter from a sacrifice (maybe also mentions saving LW)
ACT 4:
Moral Issue: Walter sneaks into LW’s bedroom and takes her clothes and a wheelchair
Distress: Emily tries to free herself up and sets underground warehouse of fire
Distress: Hagan finds Hunter’s plaster statue and crushes his father’s statue in anger
Bonding: Teresa unties Emily, who subdues the fire and drags Teresa into a safer place, but she dies. Emily takes a hooded cape from the manikin and leaves
Wound: Emily passes through a tunnel, having a flashback to someone dragging her to the chapel
Betrayal: LW orders ceremonial phantoms to capture Hagan and bring him to the altar
Courage: Emily emerges from the hole into the chapel in the middle of the ceremony
Emotional Dilemma: Emily is torn between Hagan and LW (Walter in disguise)
Distress: Walter as LW orders Emily to kill Hagan, using a motivational word that Emily recognizes
Surprise/ Sacrifice: Emily shoots /or pierces her with a sword, then drops it
Distress: LW manages to throw a sword at Hagan, wounding him, then slams onto a decrepit pole
Distress: Everyone falls into the hole on the floor
Surprise/Success: Emily rescues Hunter from under a debris and discovers that Walter was wearing LW’s face mask
Surprise/Distress: LW’s lawyer announces that her body was never found, which means that no-one can inherit the estate
Success/ Bonding: Hunter reunites with Hagan, who proclaims his love to Emily
EPILOGUE:
Surprise: Evans fixes Walter’s body in a coffin, then puts LW’s face mask onto Walter’s head, puts LW’s pillow onto “her stomach, then notices an old records book with an envelope sticking out
Wound: LW’s (Walter’s) funeral
Love/Sacrifice: Emily receives the will naming her a heir, and tears it into pieces, making Hagan the rightful heir of the estate
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Vision: I will write everyday, creating not only high volume, but high high quality scripts that will ultimately be made into popular movies and television shows.
What I learned doing this assignment is that emotion can be (for me) what makes a movie good or bad. My favorite movies are ones that evoke strong emotions in me – so why I aren’t I taking advantage of that in my own writing????
Positive Emotions
Surprise –
Bonding
Excitement –
Courage – Dacey stands up to Tom, no longer fears him
Success/Winning – when Tom shows Dacey the bat it seems like she is going to save herself, but then she doesn’t
Love – Dacey thinks her husband is coming back, she thinks all is well with kids
Negative Emotions
Wounds – Dacey looks at a file of one of her patients and sees a very traumatic past (this is actually her file, but we don’t know until later…)
Emotional Dilemma
Betrayal – her husband tricks her and takes the kids (Act II)
Moral issue – when she finds the bat, does she tell the police?
Hidden weakness – Dacey has her own trauma (much like her patients) she can get triggered by and it happens
Distress – Dacey has a tough time with her delusions and becomes very distressed by them, she is also distressed when her husband takes the kids
Sacrifice – Dacey lets the kids go
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Susan Arnout Smith’s Great Amazing Vision: I easily co-create with the Creator projects that are produced, win awards, heal hearts and bring me professional respect, financial abundance and time to explore the world with my family and friends.
What I learned in Lesson 7: I’m beginning to see where the holes are–haven’t filled them yet, but beginning to see them. I discovered an important piece that had just been a placeholder, so I’m realizing the more into this I get, the better and more cohesive the script outline is becoming.
Act I
Note: These emotions are all from the POV main characters. And…I’ll be making choices later that among these ‘moments’, I’ll find the 2-4 big moments to hit harder.
Success/Winning: The Queen succeeds in wresting the ancient prophesy away from the crone who took care of it.
Distress/Surprise: The crone puts a curse on the Queen. (Note: will figure this part out later.)
Wounds: Esme attacks her nemesis when Gisselda taunts her that as a Halfing, Esme’s inferior and won’t inherit her mother’s gifts.
Vulnerability/Love: Ilya, Esme’s mother, reminds Esme that because her dad is from Earth, Esme has gifts Gisselda will never have…and even if the ‘line’ dies out with Ilya, Ilya loves Esme just as she is…and Ilya wouldn’t change a thing about her past, the past that led to Esme and her little sister, Brinn.
Surprise: The tender moment turns instantly. Esme has picked flowers to give to Gisselda as an apology. Hidden among them lie poisonous flowers and Gisselda immediately breaks out in hives.
Betrayal: Esme disobeys her mother and follows her into the sky as Ilya does her work.
Distress: Esme is roundly punished by the Binders, the tribe of women who support Ilya.
Distress: The ‘healed’ woman turns into an assassin who delivers the prophesy that Esme will cause the destruction of the kingdom of Cantoria.
Act II
Distress: Esme tracks down the crone: the prophesy is real. (Note: may have room here to have Esme plead to have a ‘way out’ and the crone give her one. Work on it later.)
Betrayal/Hidden Weakness: The Queen feels she’s been betrayed by the assassin and those she trusted to easily conquer Cantoria. It creates a bloodbath of revenge and she allows her weakness (needing revenge) to decimate some of her very best soldiers.
Bonding: Esme is sent to live with her dad, an Outlier from Earth, to protect her. A former Navy Seal, he teaches her extreme defense tactics.
Love/Courage: Esme finds Brinn, (her younger sister), as Cantoria is invaded. The
family is able just barely to escape Cantoria. It takes will, risky maneuvers and
Act III
Distress/Sacrifice: Esme is wrapped by her mother in the ‘mantle of forgetfulness’ to save her. Ilya sacrifices her own desire to be with her daughter in order to protect her daughter.
Distress: Esme wakes up in an American hospital with amnesia. She’s dubbed ‘Rose’. Her distress plays off of Mary (the Queen in disguise) and her (fake) compassion.
Excitement: Esme discovers that the necklace she’s wearing gives her brief glimpses of another place, land, people.
Emotional dilemma: Croom forces Esme to choose: does she go with him or stay with Mary.
Surprise: Esme can see soul fragments. The Earth sky is covered in people who have been fractured apart through trauma.
Moral Issue: Esme must choose whether to try and find the body to which a fragment belongs, or to give the fragment to Croom, who promises her he’ll reunite the two parts and in return for Esme working ‘with’ him, he’ll help get her home to her half-remembered land. Esme puts off choosing.
Surprise/Excitement: Esme can fly! She chooses a soul fragment and returns with it to Earth.
Success: Esme’s ‘light’ had been obscured from Mary when Esme chose momentarily to go with Croom. Now that she’s actually used her gift to fly, her ‘Light’ is very clear and Mary uses it to track her. She lies in waiting for her.
Act IV
Moral Issue/Surprise: Esme’s loyalty to her family/father is challenged as she begins to doubt her grandparents…and then turns to surprise as she realizes that the two grandparents are imposters, and that her grandparents are dead.
Betrayal: Esme discovers that Mary is really the Queen
Betrayal: Bodhi, Esme’s childhood friend and ally, has been twisted by the Queen into betraying Esme
Wounds: The Queen describes to Esme why she wanted Esme and the kingdom of Cantoria gone. It’s to heal an old festering wound.
Success/Winning: Esme uses everything powerful in her arsenal and defeats the Queen and her kingdom and brings peace to Cantoria.
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Kevin Cunningham’s Emotional Moments
My Vision: By making my high-quality writing and speaking known in many venues (the Industry, Youtube, podcasts, books), I will create a reputation as a profoundly powerful, thoughtful, and skilled writer, and be sought after for new and rewrite activities at the highest levels.
What I learned from doing this assignment: As usual, doing the exercise triggered another flow of creativity about the plot and characters, separate from the useful identification of, focus on, and elevation of emotional moments.
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Act 1:
Surprise: John Wompas – a Native – sells Native lands.
Distress: Mukki is clumsy and looks a fool in front of his love at the powwow.
Moral issue: Alison has to deal with older generation (father) who’s not PC
Moral issue: Should Alison portray a native?
Moral issue: should they diss Italians because of Columbus?
Winning: getting the holiday changed
Excitement: the possibility of honoring the natives through the legislation
Courage: Mr. Fox voting yes
Act 2:
Distress: Mukki appointed rep
Bonding: Alison tries to help Mukki learn the ropes
Wounds: Alison rejected by Mukki (because he wants a male figure)
Distress: the town is in financial trouble, and Mukki is overwhelmed by his new responsibility
Bonding: Mr. Fox and Elizabeth surprisingly work together
Distress: Mukki has to deal with both the conservatives and the progressives treating him as their idea of a native, not as what he is
Courage: Mukki stands up to the crowd (and gets punched in the face for his troubles)
Emotional Dilemma: to solve the town’s problem, they may need to sell all the land – his tribe’s land too!
Act 3:
Surprise: the Powwow Princess kisses Mukki, but in front of others so he’s embarrassed
Surprise/Betrayal: The grandfather knows that Mr. Fox is plotting something
Surprise/Courage/Hidden Weakness: Mukki asks for help, defying Mr. Fox’s assessment of him
Sacrifice: Mukki trains to be better
Courage/Moral Issue: Alison defends Mukki and risks cancelling
Surprise: An unknown native appears to Grandfather
Courage/Distress: Mr. defends Mukki when the arch conservatives threaten to kill him
Courage/Emotional Dilemma/Wounds/Sacrifice: Mukki leads the town in spite of no support and an intractable problem, willing to give up land to save his people
Surprise/Betrayal: Historian reveals the law forbids the transfer of land now
Act 4:
Distress: Mukki is in despair after attack by mob
Bonding: Alison fights for him
Courage/Betrayal: the developers realize Mr. Fox has betrayed them
Distress: Mukki finds his grandfather sick
Distress/Love: Alison forlorn about what’s happening, and Mukki rejecting her
Emotional Dilemma/Distress: Alison confronts Mr. Fox
Distress/Love/Betrayal: Mukki comes and accuses both Mr. Fox of betraying him
Excitement/Surprise/Winning/Love: Alison realizes her father didn’t betray Mukki.
Distress: The disgruntled casino developers threaten Mr. Fox
Success/Courage: Mukki defeats the developers
Success: Mukki convinces the tribe to give back most of the land
Love/Bonding: the natives attend the Thanksgiving play, respectfully
Surprise: the land never belonged to Mukki’s tribe, but another tribe
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Joaquin “Ibn Gray’s” Emotional moments.
My vision is that I am an A plus screen writer, who’s scripts are produced into extremely profitable movies, which pay me very well!
What I learned doing this assignment is about weaving in the highs and lows of drama.
ACT 1 Emotions –
Hidden weakness: He is haunted by what he saw growing up on the plantation. He is haunted by what the battlefield did to him.
Wound: BS is very reserved, quite almost to himself. If the family wasn’t present, he would be.
Courage: BS stands up to the men harassing him about his freedom, using the law to justify his case. He escapes the confrontation without violence.
Distress – Great pain, anxiety, or sorrow; emotional or mental suffering. BS has great pain, anxiety and sorrow having his son taking from him.
ACT 2 Emotions –
Anger – BS is in raged buy his interaction with Clyde
Emotional dilemma – There is no way around it. BS must fight. He must find a way to get BJ back safe.
ACT 3 Emotions –
Bonding – BS meets the soldiers. They connect over war stories
Wounds – The towns people express that their children have been taken into captivity by Clyde. Each stating the amount of time.
Anger/distress – Once BS daughter is captured, he loses it.
ACT 4 Emotions
Moral Issue – Although BS doesn’t want to shed any blood, both of his children are now enslaved.
Sacrifice – BS’s wife demands that she be allowed to participate in the fight.
Courage – BS and the towns people muster up the heart to go get their loved ones back
Winning – BS defeats Clyde by chocking the life out of him. The government arrives in town declaring slavery against the law.
Love – Everyone is reunited with their families.
Joaquin “Ibn Gray”.
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Jamie Handley MOD 4 DAY 7
Because of a life rights bailout and waiting on one last copyright permission (now have) I had to reconstruct my entire script’s story. The concept is the same.
After an horrific accident, a woman shares her knowledge of medical negligence to her friends until she discovers the medical mafia and her closest friend is about to undergo a complex surgery by a surgeon who is connected to the mob.
WITHOUT RECOURSE “INSPIRED BY A TRUE STORY”
In order to get to the first draft, MOD 5, I will come back daily to do the lessons in MOD 4 (which I feel is very important) one day at a time. For now this is my rough outline.
ACT 1
Arizona 2020
Justine is royally pissed off at someone (Marsha) on the phone, screaming and we hear the conversation. She’s a real bitch.
Justine’s been caring for her dying mother for seven years, exhausted and has physical issues. She wears a full back brace. Her mother, Sarah, falls, becomes unconscious. Firemen and ambulance attend to her. The chaos and sirens stir an old memory of a horrific accident she had years ago that changed her life forever.
FLASHBACK
JUNE 1994 Lake Tahoe, Nevada
Justine is in a complicated relationship with Davidson Wentworth, a wealthy, good looking slick man. She is financially dependent on him with her floral shop. The shop is her life until her accident, is airflighted to a Reno Hospital. An ambulance chaser lawyer finds her in hospital, she’s tempted to sign but her associate at the shop, Gemma, squashes that. She’s bedridden for days, released from hospital, has Gemma to help her while Davidson out of town.
When he returns she has nothing nice to say. In fact she can’t stand him right now. He doesn’t want to get involved.
Weeks are spent between the shop, medical issues and legal meetings. She finds a local attorney in town, William Randell who she signs with until later he fails to show in court. Her case is thrown out of court. Justine turns into a real bitch again. Snappy and short tempered. Now she has to plead to Davidson for help, once again at his mercy. He offers his attorney, Donavon Pierce.
Gemma brings up how crooked Donavon is, heard he was part of a new mafia, the medical mafia (signs with him anyway) Gemma thinks Davidson is around waiting for his share of the money or make her sell the shop. Justine doesn’t believe either.
Tired of the pain, the pills, office visits, is advised by seven surgeons that she needs surgery except one, who she blows up at in his office, but soon after she succumbs. She calls a close friend, Jax, a renowned floral designer, for help with the shop but to no avail. Calls daughter, Gracie, who comes to Tahoe while she goes to…
Turning Point
California, where her mother, Sarah, lives and has the surgery, almost dies. As she heals, Donovan calls about the settlement offer, she refuses. Davidson intervenes, meets with Donovan, he has his ways with Justine. He’ll get her to agree. She returns to Tahoe, Gracie returns home.
Reunited, happy to see the shop doing well and Gemma, Gemma happens to bring “the medical mafia article” to the shop for Justine to see. It shows a photo of the two men involved. Justine is still in disbelief, thinks it’s all politics.
Conference – Justine meets with Davidson before the final settlement offer hearing. At the meeting it’s the “good-old-boys” (Judge Blankenship, Donovan and Davidson) who all went to school together.
She is pressured to take the final offer, by the Judge and Donovan. However, final payment could take months because she signed a LOP (Letter of Protection aka medical lien) with Donovan. They settle out of court, but something doesn’t feel right to Justine, but what?
Davidson and Justine attend a large party with A-list professionals, investors, doctors etc. When the Judge and Donovan arrive this causes a big problem with Justine. She soon learns that Davidson is an investor in companies she’s never heard about. Who is he really?
NOTE – HERE’S WHERE WE MEET THE BIG ROLLERS IN THE MAFIA
AT A PARTY; Davidson, Donovan, Lucas, Judge, Dr. Sherman (Jax & Marsha’s surgeon) Neil Watson (Insurance adjuster @ settlement & 2 other men), Edward Grant CEO of D.W.E. Services, Inc./ medical & legal services (Davidson is an investor) and other faces in the court case and places to come. Several people are attending but not known at this stage of Act 1.
That night Justine finds an enormous wad of cash, a check (stating referral fee) from Donovan to Davidson and confronts him. Referral for what? He won’t say. None of her fucking business. They have a row, (she doesn’t know him kind of fight) and decides to leave him, close the shop and move to Arizona where it’s warm and good for her body. And she does.
ACT 2
BACK TO SCENE
2020 The beginning of COVID in ARIZONA
Justine falls over the oxygen line of Sarah’s and breaks her hip. Justine fakes that she has no pain until it’s so bad she is unable to walk. She calls Gracie to come help with Sarah but she’s the one who needs help but would never admit it.
Gracie shows up, moves in, but brings her significant other, Nathan with her, without asking or letting anyone know. This is a big upset, for everyone, even for Sarah. Sarah confronts Gracie with a lecture, men, money, future and health.
Justine must have surgery, signs an AMA, (Against Medical Advise) and walks out of hospital day after surgery. Two days later Sarah dies. Justine is devastated and despondent. She receives insurance money that Sarah left for her. (Sarah no longer cares about money like she once did)
Jax comes to help Justine and Gracie. Jax demands Justine come back with him to San Diego and recoup. She packs and goes with him.
Turing Point 2
SAN DIEGO
Little by little Jax helps her come around; walks on beach, dinners. The two go out to Lips, a drag queen dinner show, where Jax, a real boozer, meets up with his lover, Lucas Pierce, a good looking lawyer.
She gets drunk. Lucas and Justine spar over the law, brings up her court case and the good-old-boys and mafia. Big difference of opinion, she doesn’t like him. Next day she returns home.
ARIZONA
NOTE: WORK ON THIS….Gracie has the house decorated with Christmas. It feels good to be home for the first time in a long time. Could things get to being normal?
Turning Point 2/Midpoint
NEVADA
Lucas calls Justine to notify that Jax was in an accident but not a bad one. They went to Las Vegas to party but he’s going to stay with his mother, Karlie, who has a good doctor and lawyer. He hits Ellis Kilpatrick, an FBI agent.
Jax needs Gracie to cover an important event for him.
NOTE: AT HOTEL, CONFERENCE WITH THE MEDICAL DEVICE MAKERS. We see a lot of the familiar faces of surgeons.
ARIZONA
Justine gets on the phone, preaches about doctors and lawyers in Nevada. She shares the story of a friend, Marsha, who lives in Vegas whose spine caved in after a surgery there. His name doesn’t come to mind. MONTAGE OR SERIES – Sharing the story of lifelong friend, Marsha.
NOTE: Surgery is with Dr. Sherman & Cohen. Marsha’s lawyer is Donald Wittman.
Justine has her monthly visit with her primary, Dr. T. She questions is knowledge of the medical mafia, is it real? Dr. T. evades the question. [ETHICS] She borrows a book (Danger Within Us) from him.
Gracie gets package from Lucas with all the arrangements for the San Diego event. Jax has her to sign a confidential document, (like the one they did in Hawaii at a very private affair). She pays no mind. Nathan is pissed. They argue, she’s about done with him.
Justine and Gracie go to airport. Gracie confides about Nathan with Justine. They go their separate ways.
ACT 3
NEVADA
Justine arrives in Nevada to see Jax. At the hospital, TWO men shake hands, (Lucas and Granger) another with his back turned (Dr. Taylor Sherman) as he talks with Dr. Cohen, and she walks by unnoticed. The men appear to be sales reps, impressively dressed, both with identical expensive briefcases.
Justine turns around, Lucas puts a large envelope in his case, she notices, they don’t see her. Door shuts and Lucas slithers away with briefcase.
As she enters room, Jax is drugged up good. Tries to ask question him, he’s out of it.
Dr. Sherman enters room with Dr. Cohen and Joseph Granger, both with documents in hand.
Sherman – “he’ll need surgery down the road”, introduces Dr. Cohen as he’ll be doing the surgery, but with no insurance that’s when Granger steps up with a LOP document. Justine interrupts, refers to Jax as her brother, takes documents and they’ll get back with them after discussing with mother. (Karlie)
Justine’s beyond pissed, “I told you do not have surgery, you are going to have to learn to live with pain, there are no recourses.” Jax drifts off until…
Nurse walks in hands Jax an envelope. Inside a get well note from Ellis Kilpatrick with his business card. (FBI investigator) Justine reads it, questions it and keeps it.
Act 3 Turning Point
ARIZONA
WEEKS LATER
Justine gets a call from Karlie. Jax has met with an attorney, Donald Wittman who has been persuaded Jax to have the surgery, refers him to see a Dr. Cohen, for a spine surgery that he doesn’t need. Justine is alarmed. How did Wittman get involved? Why? It puzzles her.
Justine calls Davidson, brings him up to date with Jax. “But why would a FBI Agent give his card?” She asks for his help since Donovan says he won’t. He’ll get back with her.
Later that night she gets out the mafia article and rereads it. Justine studies the photo of the TWO MEN (Wittman and Sherman) with Lucas in background. (We can’t make it out well but it is Dr. Sherman) Suddenly she gets worried and scared.
Gracie overhears the conversation, calls Davidson. They have a long conversation about Justine and helping Jax. Gracie explains the situation but Davidson already knows all about it. She asks him to visit mom but he can’t, he has an important meeting in the morning.
Justine starts looking on the computer for anything. She discovers a worldwide medical website, BECKER’S , that releases information on surgeons who are corrupt and have bilked millions of dollars in kickback schemes. She dumbfounded. This goes on for days as she prints out the articles for herself and to share with Davidson and Jax.
NEVADA
Davidson calls Donovan and sets up a meeting with Dr. Sherman and Lucas. Donovan knows something about Lucas and he can’t be trusted. He’s a heat-seeking homing missile. He’s getting greedy and he can do some real damage. They need to talk in private.
The four meet for lunch. Bits and pieces are shared about, Ellis, too many surgeries, money, prescriptions, and work load. Sherman is beyond capacity with surgeries. Grapevine has it there’s an investigation under hat.
Davidson and Donovan leave together, step away and talk in private. Their conversation is about getting immunity if they become a government witness.
NOTE: MARK JACOBSON, DEFENSE ATTORNEY, claims that should have been minor, like Jax, were becoming major. Treated usually treated with P.T. were undergoing drastic spine-fusion surgeries. Some insurers sent in their top lawyers. There is 80 billion in insurance fraud annually. They even held an unusual meeting more than a dozen D.A. attended. Grainger offers protection, no malpractice suits, even threatens associates. Expert witnesses don’t want involved with us. Grainger thinks he’s a fixer for us but he’s going cause some real problems. Patients all signed medical liens (LOP) RIGHT!
ARIZONA
Davidson comes to Arizona to see Justine. They go to dinner, Davidson gathers information (she gives him many of Becker’s articles and goes back to his hotel where she spends the night with him.
At the hotel Davidson takes out his DEA Investigator badge, puts on counter without thinking along with the Becker files. Justine looks for a file, finds badge and asks for explanations. He does his best but there is so much he cannot talk about.
Davidson asks her to come to Tahoe and stay, maybe even get some rest, saying how much has changed, including him. She becomes enraged, refuses his offer and walks out again. Same old shit. She should have known better.
ACT 4
NOTE- Davidson has been following the pill-mill since Justine’s accident. That’s why he let her go so easily.
ARIZONA
Justine is beside herself. Calls to check on Jax, but he’s not around. Phone rings, it’s Marsha’s brother, Mike. Marsha had another surgery, got a blood clot, they caught it in time but is now paralyzed from the waist down. She wants to end her life and Mike doesn’t know what to do.
She didn’t take your advice when you last spoke, remember, you were yelling! Ya, gotta come help her. Justine breaks down in tears.
NEVADA
Jax is calling, stops the conversation with Mike…gotta take this call, call you later.
Jax didn’t do the surgery. Mr. Kilpatrick shed the light on the investigation with Jax. Jax will be a star witness. He’s doing ok and going to p.t. like Justine told him. Lucas won’t talk to Jax and has shut the door on him. But, the p.t. is pretty fine!!!
ARIZONA
Justine and Gracie have a heart-to-heart. The confidentiality agreement from Jax was really his will, leaving his home to Justine and business to Gracie if he dies. Justine is giving Gracie money to rent a small store front for her business. Justine gets a certified letter. Davidson sends a copy of his indictment (he’s turned government witness in Jax’s case) along with a ticket to fly in to Tahoe.
NEVADA – TAHOE
Davidson picks her up at airport. He shows up in a pick-up truck, not a limo like he would normally have done. They drive up Mt. Rose highway to Tahoe but it’s not the same home. It’s totally different. It’s just a nice comfortable cabin.
Justine is totally confused and begins with all her questions. Davidson admits to her who he really is, just a man doing his job, had to play a role. He beings to explain everything and she stops him in his tracks. NOW WHAT??? Where do we go from here? How about Montana? I bought us 20 acres and we can build whatever kind of home you want.
Justine wants to save it for another day maybe another time. She calls Gemma and they meet for lunch and catch up on all the daily gossip. Justine grabs the newspaper and finds a small article where a Las Vegas Medical group and a dozens of surgeons and personal-injury lawyers were charged with fraud, conspiracy and witness tampering.
Gemma takes Justine to airport. She stops in Las Vegas where Mike picks her up. She goes to see Marsha. They reunite, tears fall, 50+ years of friendship isn’t going to stop Justine from seeing Marsha.
NEED ENDING SHOTS…SERIES OR MONTAGE. Come back to this.
THEN:
REAL SHOTS OF HEADLINES ONE BY ONE:
New York neurosurgeon indicted for unnecessary, invasive tests in kickback scheme
Texas spine surgeon sued by an insurer who alleged he performed medically unnecessary procedures to inflate personal injury claim. $1.1M in damages
Hospital, orthopedic surgeon share liability in $6.3M verdict
Chiropractor sentenced to 14 months in spine surgery kickback scheme
Olympic volleyball player permanently paralyzed from chest down with spinal surgery.
20 doctors under the government’s cross hairs.
NOTE: ATTACHED DOCUMENT FROM BECKERS’ January 2018 – August 2022 SENTENCING CONTINUES IN CALIFORNIA SPINE KICKBACK CASE: 6 developments in 4+ years. (15 year scheme $500 M in fraud bill & $40 million in kickback; Dr Capen $5M in kickbacks , Full pardon to Taustino Bernadett, MD sentenced to 15 months in prison in illegal kickback scheme )
Hundreds of patients harmed by surgeons, maybe thousands and thousands we haven’t discover yet.
Former Sanford Health neurosurgeon to pay $4.4.M to resolve kickback charges.Ndw trial required for Missouri neurosurgeon’s kickback case.
Medical Mafia makes $80 Billion Killing
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John T’s Emotional Moments
Vision: to become a reliable box office success and entertain audiences all over the place.What I learned doing this assignment is that considering each of the emotional ideas, helps create unexpected deeper meaning.
Act 1:
Opening – Airline pilot Phil attends the surprise b-day for his adopted niece, Megan, who lives down the street. Pilots Drew and Chet and Flight Attendants Rhonda, Louse and Georgia celebrate Megans’s new job as a flight attendant, a job Phil helped her get. Megan keeps hugging Phil. She thinks of him as more than just a father figure .The flight attendants note this is kind of weird. Phil is very uncomfortable.S14: Phil visits his wife’s grave, still mourning her death.
S18: Phil gets along with his shrink. She encourages him to engage in different activities to take his mind off his wife’s murder. Phil attends to his rare coin collection, becomes deeply disturbed. Sits alone in his living room, brooding, talking to himself.S17. Phil burns his souffle, throws the dish in the sink.
S16: Phil demonstrates amazing courage, helps a girl who’s being assaulted. She runs away,. Bangers recognize him. How?”
R16: Bangers come looking for him. Phil outsmarts them. S3: Phil practices knife skills for killing.
Phil feels guilty because he was unable to defend his wife from a violent attack. He constantly relives the memory of being unable to save her.
S15: Phil works under his car. Banger trio to kick the jack out. S8: Phil tries meditation. At first , he doesn’t take to it.
Out for a walk on a downtown layover, an unseen man sees a pair of hoodlums assaulting a hooker. (Later revealed that her customer was a girl.) Th man takes them out mercilessly. He knows martial arts and knife tactics. Leaves them both near death. (Later, we find out it was Phil.)
Inciting Incident – Two nights later Megan is knifed by an unknown masked attacker. [But where?] Phil finds her body, steps in her blood. Phil chases a suspect, loses him. [Is the suspect real or imagined? Is this retaliation for knifing the johns?]
S2: Louise acts like a fragile female in need of TLC. She watches a soap opera and gets emotional. She draws a big unhappy smile on her bathroom mirror with lipstick.
Phil promises Megan’s mother that he will not rest until the killer is caught. He means it.
Turning Point 1: FBI agent Ben is surprised when hi boss puts him on the case – it’s his big chance to prove himself.
S4: Ben has big shoes to fill under the shadow of his father’s legacy.
He opens an investigation because Megan’s mom tells him the killer had out-of-state plates. Ben’s in trouble with his boss for failing to follow up with an important interview.
S20: Ben’s boss is an ass.
S6: We see mysterious FB’s re: a boy being abused, made to dress up in women’s clothing.
Ben lives under the shadow of his father’s legacy, a by-the-book veteran. Ben interviews Phil. Phil is tight-lipped.
The chief pilot observes how despondent Phil is, gives him some time off.
We see Phil having an attentive conversation with someone at a cozy restaurant booth. But there’s no one therel
S1: Phil broods and has conversations with his dead wife.
But as we pan to the side, we see that no one’s there. The waitress looks concerned. Has Phil lost it?
Act 2
Phil goes back to work, on his regular flight route, greeted by FA’s Rhonda, Louise, and Georgia, all of whom express their sympathy and try to cheer him up on a layover. Louise expresses to the FA’s how much she would like to have a relationship with Phil.
On the same trip. Phil scolds his co-pilot.
S11: Phil embarrasses Rhonda.
S13. Louise gets hit on by another woman. R13: Louise rebuffs her –hidden agenda.On the layover party, he meets a flight attendant from another airline and has a drink with her. She’s a therapist there to help him. Louise appears jealous, downs several.
S19: Louise tells everyone her bladder is about to burst, runs to the bathroom. S21: Louis tells everyone that when she pees, it sounds like Niagara Falls.
R19: Surprise- She sounds like a guy peeing.
R21: Cause she stands up.
Phil takes an advanced course in assault tactics using knives.Phil dines again, having a conversation with no one there.
R15: While working on his car, a killer tries to knock out the jack. Phil gives chase, loses him.Ben struggles to pass his FBI fitness test. Not the athletic type. He also barely passes his shooting accuracy test.
Midpoint Turning Point – Phil stands over the body of the same FA he had a drink with from a different airline in her hotel room, the door left ajar. Murdered the same way as Megan, repeatedly stabbed. Phil picks up, drops the murder weapon, a knife.
Phil is questioned by the police and later by FBI agent Ben – now considers Phil the prime suspect.
Phil finds out the suspect he chased after Megan’s murder was caught and released. He is angered by this.
Phil is puzzled by a similar murder so soon after Megan’s death. Finds similarities. He makes a file analyzing the two murders.
S5: Phil keeps a detailed file on the killings.
Phil suspects that Agent Ben is tapping his phone, misinterpreting his answers over the phone. and his inconsistent answers to his earlier questions. Ben comes to Phil’s house. Phil slips out the back. Phil decides to do his own investigation.
Phil checks into a hotel with Louise.
S10. Louise primps a lot.
With her help [she secretly fetches his clothes], Phil goes on another weekly trip with the same group of flight attendants. Louise tries to get intimate with Phil. Phil snubs Louise’s advances – he’s not ready for another relationship. Louise is stunned, but undaunted.
While on a trip, Phil’s home is searched by Ben and his partner, Ned. They have a limited search warrant but Ned improperly finds Phil’s file. finds Phil’s file, full of details of the murders. Ben is compelled not to use it.
Plan in action – Using remote viewing, Phil figures out the killer’s MO and where the next murder is likely to take place.
R8: Phil sees the next murder while meditating. S22: Phil has a vision of a scorpion behind an ear.
Ben gets chewed out by his supervisor for how he handles the search warrant.
S9: Ben suspects his boss is dirty.
Based on Phil’s file, Ben flies to the city that Phil has marked on the map and the hotel Phil has circled. [Is this the layover hotel or a different one.]
Act 3:
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift –Another layover murder. The killer must be an airline person. Phil receives an anonymous message to check on her. Enters the room just after the murder.
Someone follows, scares Phil’s therapist.
Ben looks for Phil. Tipped off by Louise, Phil goes underground. Ben almost catches Phil on the run. Ben is out of shape. Later, Phil , goes on another trip. Louise helps Phill elude Ben.
– Phil decides he must vindicate himself by solving the murders and clear his name. He practices his knife moves.
Flashback: An unidentified boy is abused by his father, made to dress up like a girl. Who is the boy?
R11: Rhonda rats out Phil to Ben.
Rhonda discovers evidence that implicates Phil, rats him out to Ben. Now Ben is ready to pounce.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict –
Shaken by the killings, Phil seeks the comfort of Louise and her friend, Tammy. Tammy is taken up with Phil talks about hooking up with him. Louise scowls.S12: Phil races to the murder scene.
R12: Phil bumps into Louise there.
(Note: Which is it?)
Phil drives to the friend Tammy’s apartment. Phil shows up, sees the friend tied up. Tipped off by Rhonda, Agent Ben races to Tammy’s apartment.R6: The FB’s are a boy’s horrors – but who’s? (Lewis)
Ben aims at Phil thinking he’s the killer . The masked killer bumps Ben, stabs him. Phil charges, wig and mask fall off – it’s Louise aka Lewis. He is shocked but Lewis tries to explain that he loves Phil. “I would die for you.” Lewis wields a knife close to Phil’s throat. Phil disarms Lewis. Ben intervenes to save Phil. Lewis shoots Ben.
R2. She’s a he, and he’s the killer. Ben tries to help Phil. Lewis shoots Ben.
R3: Phil uses his learned knife skills the ones so that he would never be defenseless as when his wife was stabbed to death.
R10: Louise has a package.
R22: Phil sees the scorpion tattoo behind Louise’s ear.Phil musters all his energy, charges Lewis . They both go over the edge. Phil lands on the lower floor balcony, hanging on for dear life. Same for Lewis – he tells Phil he killed the girls so they could be together. Phil must either save himself or risk his life saving Lewis. Lewis grabs his arm.
Phil uses a newly learned knife move, stabs Lewis’ hand, kicks him off the rail. Lewis falls to his death.
Resolution – we now see the boy forced to dress up like a girl that we thought was Phil or Ben was really Lewis.
R4: Ben is credited with solving the crime and saving Phil’s life.
Phil visits Ben in the hospital. Ben is healed, so he leaves with an important task to do
R9: Ben arrests his boss.
R20: Ben reads him his rights.Ben gets promoted.
P5: Phil was compiling a file to catch the killer.
S7: Phil’s shrink helps him so he doesn’t need her anymore. She suggests a dinner date. He says no.
R18: Doorbell rings – it’s his date – her.P14. Phil visits his wife’s grave says goodbye to her. R17: Phil perfects his souffle.
Phil dines in the same restaurant as before, having a conversation – his dead wife? R7: No, with his recovered therapist. He now says yes.
Ben gets promoted., rewards Phil for his bravery. Phil has learned to appreciate life. Ready for a new relationship.
R1: He’s not insane – talking with his wife was the technique his shrink advised him to use while grieving.
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