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Day 7 Assignments
Reply to post your assignments.
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9 Replies
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June Fortunato’s Logline(s) and One-Sentence Phone Pitch for Retirement
What I learned: Good to differentiate between written pitch and in aural pitch.
Three versions of logline
a. Protagonist __has problem___ and ___must achieve goal__ to solve that problem.
When Super mooch Roy, 60s, gets kicked out of his free place to live, he aims for a permanent situation but instead meets his twin spirit super mooch, and wants to take care of her instead of the other way around.
b. Protagonist has __a goal__ but ___major obstacle___ stands in his/her way.
Super mooch Roy, 60s, aims for a permanent free living situation, but when he gets beaten within an inch of his life, he’s forced to join society proper- and resists – until he meets his twin spirit, Kim, and has an excellent reason to straighten up and fly right.
c. (Situation) causes (main character) to face (largest obstacle) and (outcome).
The biggest lie Roy, 60s, tells himself is that he can ignore his demons and mooch off of some fine gal permanently, until his girl walks, his body is beaten to a pulp, and then he meets the woman he wants to take care of for the rest of his life.
2. Write a one-sentence phone pitch for your screenplay. First tell us the biggest hook and then incorporate it into your one-sentence pitch.
It’s a love story about still-hippie 60 year olds for the boomer generation.
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Antonio’s Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch
Project: “The Girl Inside the Fighting Cage”
What I learned from this lesson
The essence. We have been working on that from the very start. Like when we wrote those one-to-two-sentence scene descriptions for the movie outline. Now, it’s time for… the HOOK! This is, no doubt, the ultimate challenge, the climax of our scriptwriting-hero training. Fear… hope. May Brevity Be With Me! Here we go!
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1. Write a logline for your screenplay for each of the 3 formulas:
a. Protagonist __has problem___ and ___must achieve goal__ to solve that problem.
When her boyfriend falls in the hands of a criminal ring, a cheerleader must fight in the underground MMA world to rescue him.
(23 words)
b. Protagonist has __a goal__ but ___major obstacle___ stands in his/her way.
To rescue her boyfriend from a dangerous criminal ring, a cheerleader must plunge into the underground MMA world and fight to the end for him.
(25 words)
c. (Situation) causes (main character) to face (largest obstacle) and (outcome).
When an MMA prizefighter mysteriously disappears, his girlfriend embarks in an impossible rescue mission through the underground fighting world.
(19 words)
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2. Write a one-sentence phone pitch for your screenplay. First tell us the biggest hook and then incorporate it into your one-sentence pitch.
Hook: Female-lead MORTAL KOMBAT
One-sentence: It’s about a girl whose boyfriend is an underground MMA fighter, and when he mysteriously disappears, she must dive into the underground MMA world and fight to rescue him.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Antonio Flores.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by
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Cameron Martin’s Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is…don’t hold back, but don’t overcomplicate either. I haven’t purposely brainstormed like this in a minute. Every time I think I have something good, I try to come up with a few more options, just to see if something comes up. Admittedly, there’s a lot that happens in this story, and it’s impossible to include all of it. There’s a couple great “hooks” in the story, but they may require more setup than what a logline or phone pitch can really offer. There’s a balancing act between giving everything a reader needs to be interested, and not overwhelming them to the point of thinking you don’t have a clear vision. There’s also a useful tactic of trying to assume a reader’s perspective of not knowing anything about the story you’ve been involved with for the past six months; can you put yourself in their shoes and answer honestly what would interest you, just from the pitch and no additional context. I’ve worked on my 1-2 minute pitch before, but this was an excellent and necessary exercise to try to get that 1 sentence pitch and logline down to the most necessary parts of the story.
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a. Protagonist __has problem___ and ___must achieve goal__ to solve that problem.
A widower who’s distanced himself from his 11-year-old Asperger’s son after the death of his wife must save him from being slaughtered by the same aliens his son is obsessed with.
b. Protagonist has __a goal__ but ___major obstacle___ stands in his/her way.
A widower wants to protect his 11-year-old Asperger’s son in the midst of an outbreak, but his son is obsessed with the same alien parasites that killed his wife.
c. (Situation) causes (main character) to face (largest obstacle) and (outcome).
An outbreak of alien parasites will force a widower to reconnect with his 11-year-old Asperger’s son, who’s become obsessed with the same parasites that killed his wife.
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The title is OPEN WIDE, and it’s Ridley Scott’s THE MARTIAN with alien parasites and a kid with Asperger’s Syndrome.
(P.S. I know the author of the original novel is Andy Weir, but since Ridley Scott has directorial credit for both ALIEN and THE MARTIAN, giving him the credit seemed like a better through-line with the concept and pitch.)
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Anna Harper’s Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch for
SILENT NIGHT Pilot 1/3
What I learned from this assignment; multiple efforts enabled me to clarify what I need to do and say when pitching verbally or in written submission.
Pitches SILENT NIGHT
a. Protagonist __has problem___ and ___must achieve goal__ to solve that problem.
DYLAN a mute teenage boy is being BULLIED. He must let ALFIE a homeless dog with superpowers into his world to help him find his voice and succeed in solving the bullying problem.
b. Protagonist has __a goal__ but ___major obstacle___ stands in his/her way.
DYLAN a teenage boy wants to live with his father and avoid being sent away to a special boarding school. Dylan is traumatized by his mother’s death and refuses to speak. Bullies torment him and his school wants to expel Dylan.
c. (Situation) causes (main character) to face (largest obstacle) and (outcome).
Grief, and bullying cause Dylan a teenage boy to retreat into silence until he is discovered by a homeless dog ALFIE who befriends Dylan helping him to speak again and win over the bullies.
Phone pitch
It’s Christmas when a silent, bullied teenage boy meets Alfie a homeless dog with superpowers, in a garbage skiff; together they win over the bullies and Dylan finds his voice.
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Kate’s Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is as I hone in on what is marketable, questions arise. Does that mean I have to make certain characters more involved/ stronger? And how much re-writing is that without losing the story I want to tel.
1. Write a logline for your screenplay for each of the 3 formulas:
a. Protagonist __has problem___ and ___must achieve goal__ to solve that problem.
• Nia finds her long absent Father and wants to save a rural community from his development plans, but must change him in order to do keep both.
b. Protagonist has __a goal__ but ___major obstacle___ stands in his/her way.
• Nia wants relationship with her long absent Father but the reality of who he is and the revelations about her mother’s death force her to let go of childhood dreams.
c. (Situation) causes (main character) to face (largest obstacle) and (outcome).
• After finding her idealized long absent father, Nia is caught between the reality of him and the rural community he is destroying, ultimately learning the truth about her mother and choosing to be free.
2. Write a one-sentence phone pitch for your screenplay. First tell us the biggest hook and then incorporate it into your one-sentence pitch.
• Biggest Hook – strong, multi-cultural women fighting development with a big sting operation
• Why
does an abandoned 20-something, half-black actress joins forces with a fiery Latina
‘pseudo’- mayor and enlist a Chinese businesswoman to put the ‘sting’ on a developer
– her Father – who is planning the world largest landfill? -
PS81 – Dana’s Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch
Title: First Time Caller
What I learned:
The logline is the overall story, but the phone pitch must hook the producer’s interest and curiosity in the shortest possible time, providing a vision of the script and film.
Loglines
A. Protagonist _ Problem _ Goal
A radio psychologist battles a psychotic caller suffering from multiple personalities to save her kidnapped family from being murdered by the end of her show.
B. Protagonist _ Goal _ Major Obstacle
A radio psychologist fights to save her kidnapped family from a psychotic caller with multiple personalities who threatens to execute one member every hour until the end of her show.
C. Situation _ Major Character _ Largest Obstacle _ Outcome
The psychotic identity of a patient suffering from multiple personality disorder calls a radio psychologist and threatens to kill one member of her kidnapped family every hour on air unless she can suppress the patient’s real identity by the end of the show.
Phone Pitch
First Time Caller is Dr. Laura versus Hannibal Lecter.
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DAY 7 – Loglines and Phone Pitches
Lisa’s Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is to focus on the essence of the story and get it down in my head so it will come out automatically when I am asked about my script.
1. Write a logline for your screenplay for each of the 3 formulas:
a. Mary has lost her family and now is about to lose her business, so during the annual It’s a Wonderful Life festival she kidnaps Santa for ransom to save them both!
b. Mary has until Christmas day to save her shop from foreclosure, but can she get away with holding Santa for ransom to save it during the town’s annual It’s a Wonderful Life festival?
c. The bank will foreclose on mom Mary’s shop on Christmas Day which causes her to kidnap Santa Claus and hold him for ransom during the town’s annual It’s a Wonderful Life festival!
2. Write a one-sentence phone pitch for your screenplay. First tell us the biggest hook and then incorporate it into your one-sentence pitch.
Hook: During the town’s annual It’s a Wonderful Life festival, separated mom Mary learns that her business will be foreclosed on if she doesn’t get the money to the bank by Christmas Day. Mary kidnaps Santa Claus and holds him for ransom to save her shop and to hopefully reunite with her estranged family.
Pitch: An upstate NY mom kidnaps Santa Claus to save her business and her family during the annual It’s a Wonderful Life Christmas festival.
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Day 7: Loglines & Phone Pitches – Assignment
Mike O – Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch
What I learned doing this is saying less is more. Stop talking, stop overselling! Having come from a career in marketing, I am guilty of this! Do NOT descend into the details of the script trap!
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I. Write a log-line for your screenplay for each of the 3 formulas:
[1] Protagonist __has problem___ and ___must achieve goal__ to solve that problem.
Protagonist: A talented painter Problem: faced with being the executor of her estranged father’s estate Goal: save her father’s gallery from a sociopathic employee ———————————————————————————————
[2] Protagonist has __a goal__ but ___major obstacle___ stands in his/her way.
Protagonist: gifted painter Goal: flies to a small mountain town to settle her estranged father’s estate Obstacle: but must outwit a sociopathic employee who wants her father’s gallery ———————————————————————————————
[3] (Situation) causes (main character) to face (largest obstacle) and (outcome).
Situation: Daughter learns her estranged father has died and named her the executor. Main Character: workaholic daughter must travel cross-country and settle her father’s affairs Largest Obstacle: overcome her feelings of abandonment & outsmart a sociopathic employee Outcome: her father’s posthumous love changes her thoughts on life, love and what matters ———————————————————————————————
II. Write a one-sentence phone pitch for your screenplay. First tell us the biggest hook and then incorporate it into your one-sentence pitch.
HOOK: Gifted painter’s muse, her imaginary father, becomes real when she is named the executor.
A gifted painter, whose muse is her estranged father, receives a certified letter informing her of his passing and as his executor, she must travel to a mountain town and settle his affairs and face his ghost.
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Marketing Day 7
Anita’s Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment: Less is more. Focus on the hooks. Be prepared to tell your idea at any moment with your ‘elevator pitch’.
1. Write a logline for your screenplay for each of the 3 formulas:
a. Protagonist __has problem___ and ___must achieve goal__ to solve that problem.
A young woman who can’t access an abortion abandons her baby at birth only to learn years later that the child is her best hope for a life-saving transplant, leading her to search for a daughter she never wanted.
b. Protagonist has __a goal__ but ___major obstacle___ stands in his/her way.
An ambitious attorney gets pregnant through an affair with her married boss and must choose between abortion and abandoning her baby, later realizing she needs the now-grown daughter’s kidney to live.
c. (Situation) causes (main character) to face (largest obstacle) and (outcome).
The need for a kidney transplant propels an ambitious pro-rights attorney to seek out her abandoned now-grown daughter to save her life.
2. Write a one-sentence phone pitch for your screenplay. First tell us the biggest hook and then incorporate it into your one-sentence pitch.
Biggest Hook: Abortion rights is the hottest topic in today’s headlines.
Phone Pitch: Abortion rights is the hottest topic in today’s headlines and the complex issues swirling around the debate are examined through the lens of this one woman’s dreams and personal demons.
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