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Day 7 Assignments
Post your assignment by replying here.
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13 Replies
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Rebecca’s Rewrite, Cycle 1 Scene
Exchange
INT. ROADHOUSE BAR – DAY
1948, roadhouse bar in the south Jersey pine barrens along the main route between Philadelphia and Atlantic City. Trent, immaculately dressed, expensive pants, shirt, and shoes, waits at a table. Two locals sit at the other end of the bar, otherwise the place looks empty. The bartender, a body builder, moves in close to Trent and the two converse in inaudible whispers. Robert enters. Trent hails him to the table. Trent looks stern. Robert covers up his worry with small talk.
ROBERT
Nice car out front. Yours?
Trent nonchalant.
TRENT
The Alfa Romeo? Yes, of course, it’s mine. It can go up to 150mph, not that I need speed like that.
Robert lets out a long whistle.
TRENT
Sit.
The two men sit opposite. Robert scans the bar.
ROBERT
What did you want to see me about? Why here?
Trent forces a smile.
TRENT
Sorry about my blow up earlier, a bad day. This is midway, remote, expensive top shelf in the back room for special customers.
Robert remains cautious.
ROBERT
So, does that describe you?
Trent ignores the comment and hails the bartender, JACK.
TRENT
Jack, a drink for Robert here. Put it on my tab.
Jack ambles over, no hurry.
JACK
What can I get you?
ROBERT
Got something other than beer?
Jack makes a grand gesture towards the shelf behind the bar, acts the smart ass, half bow and mocking voice.
JACK
What would be your desire?
ROBERT
Single malt on the rocks.
Robert, a sheepish smile, looks towards Trent.
ROBERT
With Trent buying, make that top shelf.
Jack leaves. Trent stares at Robert, represses his anger, SHOWTIME.
TRENT
The report? Anything to celebrate?
Jack places the scotch in front of Robert and a glass of soda water mixed with ginger ale in front of Trent. Robert glances toward the locals and talks in code.
ROBERT
Depends on how you look at it. The competition, knocked out of the game. That gives our investment a clear field to corner the market.
The two locals take their beers outside. With no action at the bar, Jack wipes down tables.
TRENT
I saw in the paper that Joe Bilbo’s been outed as a Red, taken in for questioning.
Robert shrugs, feigns ignorance.
TRENT
Bilbo, the bouncer at Clicquot Club in Atlantic City? That is, until he lost his job.
Robert ponders his answer.
ROBERT
I don’t really know. I’ve only been to the club a couple of times. Never met him.
Trent sips his drink and leans back on his chair.
TRENT
You did. I introduced you.
Robert looks at the floor, repositions in the chair.
ROBERT
I’ve never been good with names.
TRENT
One thing about Bilbo, he never forgot a face or a name. Especially the ones in his black book of embarrassing situations. He never hesitated to use that information as influence.
Trent winks at Robert and smiles.
ROBERT
Thinking on it, yes, I remember him.
TRENT
I wonder what genius turned him in? Great timing for us.
Trent smiles and chuckles. Robert grows bolder.
ROBERT
Random timing, I don’t think so. More like meticulous planning.
TRENT
I agree, brilliant plot, something I might do. Competition gone and we get to step in and caulk it up to blind luck. Too bad I didn’t think of it. Whoever did, kudos to them.
Robert smiles, proud of his work. Trent chuckles and clinks his glass against Robert’s.
ROBERT
Thank you for the complement. I got the job done with no link to either of us.
Trent feigns surprise.
TRENT
You? No, not you. You’re not that cunning.
Robert sits up straighter, more confident, sly smile.
ROBERT
There’s a lot about me that you don’t know.
He downs his drink and signals for another.
TRENT
Forget the cheap stuff. Jack, break out the special scotch from the back room. Robert and me need to celebrate a victory.
Jack slips into the door behind the bar and returns with a pre-war bottle. He places it on the table his hand on the neck.
JACK
Want me to pour?
Trent puts his hand over Jack’s.
TRENT
No need, leave the bottle.
Trent pours and he and Robert down a few glasses.
ROBERT
What about the reward you promised?
TRENT
First tell me how you pulled it off, details.
Robert emboldened by alcohol itches to brag about his expertise.
ROBERT
You know Frank, the guy from Trieste who owns the grocery near the docks in Philly?
TRENT
I know him well.
ROBERT
I hinted about a close mutual friend of Bilbo being a card carrying Red. Frank didn’t deny it. Antonio Sabitini was in the store at the time and overheard the conversation.
Trent drums his manicured finger nails against the table.
TRENT
Interesting, but if Bilbo’s friend is the one I’m thinking of, why not just out Bilbo as a homosexual?
Jack finishes wiping the table next to them.
ROBERT
Why? Fingering him as a communist worked better.
TRENT
You outed him to Frank who is a Communist. Why Bilbo?
The two locals return for a refill of beer. Robert lowers his voice.
ROBERT
Because of his closeness with the competition and the governor’s mistress.
TRENT
Not sure where all this will lead. But, your brilliant work needs a suitable reward.
Trent gets up from the table as does Robert. He pats Robert on the back.
TRENT
Lots more good things in the back room. You ready? Follow me.
Robert struts as he follows Trent to behind the bar. Trent opens the door; Robert freezes.
TRENT
Come Robert, your reward awaits.
Looking through the open door, Robert stares at the man seated at A table.
ROBERT
Changed my mind.
The two patrons, both holding guns, grab Robert and escort Robert inside to meet Bruno, second in command to Joe Ida, mafia boss in Philly and South Jersey.
TRENT
No need to kill him for being a dumb shit. Robert didn’t realize that he put the Feds onto Nan DeMar and her connection to Ida. I’d love to take the first punch but don’t want to mess up my manicure.
Robert screams. Jack shuts the door.
Jack
Trent, finish up the scotch. Take it with you.
Trent picks up the bottle and saunters out the door. Through the open window we see Trent get into a 1942 Ford Coupe.
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Don’s rewrite – QE Cycle 1:
INT. CANNABIS SHOP – DAY
ROBERT (25), the owner of a Cannabis shop, stands behind the sales counter of his small establishment and counts out some bills. He has a phone perched in his ear.
ROBERT (into phone): Yeah, I let everyone know this guy can’t be trusted. And I don’t care if I screw up anything legit he might be doing with anyone else. He’s on the way over now to bitch and moan. I think he’s here now… I’ll call you back.
Robert hears the ENTRY BELL RING indicating someone has entered the shop. He hangs up the phone.
TRENT (30) enters the shop and walks briskly to the counter. As Robert notices Trent, he closes the cash register and presses a small button under the counter.
INSERT: A lock CLICKS on the front door, locking it.
Trent is now at the counter.
ROBERT: Dude!
Trent and Robert high-five each other.
TRENT: Hey brother, I’m here to celebrate sales.
ROBERT: That might be a little premature. I guess I could be doing a better – but, hey, I was raised a socialist love child, not a used car peddler.
TRENT: So how are they? Sales I mean.
ROBERT: You looked at the books, so you know. Some things are good. The cookies and gummies are selling like hotcakes!
TRENT: Maybe you should sell cannabis hotcakes! I HOP pot!
Robert LAUGHS. Trent turns serious.
TRENT: I would agree the books are telling us that we have to get our sales numbers up, my friend.
ROBERT: Yeah, if I could. Like I said, I’m not the greatest salesperson in the world. You know that.
I know that. My therapist knows that.TRENT: Yeah, well I need you to sell, dude. And to sell like there is no tomorrow. To sell like your ass is on fire. To sell like you’re gonna get offed by someone I might know if you don’t get those sales figures higher.
Beat – Trent gives Robert a serious look, then backs off, smiling.
TRENT: Hey, dude! Got some cookies?
ROBERT: I don’t consume during business hours.
TRENT: But I want to celebrate!
ROBERT: Celebrate what?
TRENT: Your future success!
ROBERT: You’re always telling me I’m a fuck up and now you’re telling me I’m gonna be a success?
TRENT: I just try to keep you motivated. Give me the best cookie you got. I need some NOW.
Robert walks over to a line of Cannabis Cookie dispensers and eyes them over. He grabs one and hands it to Trent.
Trent takes a bite.
ROBERT: Green Baker.
Trent nibbles.
TRENT: So here’s the plan. I want you to jack up the prices by 10 percent. I want you to stay open until midnight every day, and I want you to do some advertising.
ROBERT: I assume you’re gonna pitch in for the ads.
TRENT: If you need it.
Beat.
ROBERT: How about ‘if you have it’?
TRENT: I have it. Don’t trust me? I did hear you might be talking to another backer.
ROBERT: Where’d you hear that?
TRENT: A little birdie.
ROBERT: Well the little birdie is wrong.
TRENT: This particular little birdie has a big mouth and would like to keep your other business partner informed.
Beat.
TRENT: Let me tell you something, Budaroo. You try to deal me out and you’re never gonna do business in this town again. You will have such a bad rep that not even my mother – who hates my guts and loves to find any way she can to hurt my feelings – not even she would do business with you.
ROBERT: That’s too bad – I always thought your mom was kinda cute.
Trent smiles, walks over to the dispensary, and lifts the lid to take another Green Baker cookie. Robert stops him.
ROBERT: Hold on! Hold on! I got a better one for you!
TRENT: A better one? Oh, I need that.
ROBERT: Top notch. Colombian. The ‘Green Grocer’. Come on, I just got the shipment in.
He nods to him to follow him to the back room where he accepts shipments.
Robert leans down and opens a bag that is propped against the wall.
ROBERT: Now lean down and take a whiff of that stuff. That is pure heaven.
Trent leans down and takes a whiff.
TRENT: Man, that is good!
Just then Robert, who has armed himself with a 2×4 board, BELTS Trent in the back and knocks him flat.
ROBERT: That one’s for your mom you lyin’ sack of shit! You don’t have the money – and everyone knows it! And if they don’t, I let them know it!
TRENT CRIES OUT: Is this what your therapist is telling you to do?
ROBERT: My therapist is a whimp. I fired her because I don’t need her. What I DO have a new backer, BUDAROO! One you don’t know, and he isn’t the pain in the ass you are and doesn’t make out to be rich when he’s really in debt up to his kahunas!
Robert WHACKS Trent again.
ROBERT: That one is for MY mom! Leech!
WHACKS him again.
ROBERT: Leeching off labor, as usual!! Neoliberal, fascist, capitalist wannabe leech!
Trent MOANS and tries to escape – but Robert whacks him one more time, knocking him out cold.
Robert looks him over.
ROBERT: Dude, the revolution is here. Robert is taking over.
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Janeen’s QE#1 Rewrite
INT. BAR IN STRIP CLUB – NIGHT
ROBERT nurses a drink at the bar as LUCY swaggers away from him, looking over her shoulder with an invitation.
TRENT sidles up.
TRENT Can I join you?
ROBERT
Sure, she doesn’t want to. Theynever do.
TRENT
I thought you guys had great rapport.What happened? Robert shrugs.
TRENT (CONT’D) She’s new, right?
ROBERT
I don’t know. My first time here.TRENT
Did you proposition her?ROBERT
No, I don’t have much luck with theladies, even with money. I just wanted to go to one of the private rooms.
TRENT
That might be fun. Let me try. Mywife used to work in a place like this. Money talks here. What’s her name?
ROBERT
Lucy.
Trent thrusts out his hand.TRENT
I’m Trent, by the way.They shake. Robert.
ROBERT
2.
Trent pulls a wad of bills out of his pocket and holds it in front of him.
TRENT Lucy — a word!
Lucy struts over to him, a question in her eye. Trent peels off a few bills and hands them to her.
TRENT (CONT’D) Private room?
Lucy nods.
Trent peels off a few more bills.TRENT (CONT’D) Can he come too?
Lucy tucks the bills in her bosom.
LUCY Sure. Right this way.
TRENT (to Robert)
You’re buying the booze and extras. (to Lucy)
We want your best room.
Lucy glances over her shoulder at Trent as she walks to the back of the bar where private rooms line the hallway.
LUCY So I assumed.
When she gets to the room, a bouncer unlocks it for her and she nods to him.
LUCY (CONT’D) (Seductively)
You like it rough?
Trent grins and nods, nudging Robert.LUCY (CONT’D) (Mockingly)
You want to pick a safe word?
TRENT
We won’t need one, but you might.LUCY The works?
TRENT And extras.
Trent nudges Robert with an elbow and Robert smiles and gives Trent a sly wink.
Lucy laughs and holds the door as the men enter the nicely appointed room with rich leather couches and low round tables with smooth edges.
ROBERT
I’ll get some champagne.Robert steps out the door. Lucy holds the door open as several girls walk in, in various stages of undress, holding a variety of stage props and S&M devices. When the girls have filed
in, Lucy steps out and the door softly closes.Immediately, the girls start wailing on Trent with their various instruments.
TRENT
Stop! What the hell! Stop!GIRL 1 Safe word?
GIRL 2
Oh, he didn’t want one. He wantsthe full treatment. Let’s go, girls!
The girls continue to beat Trent, backing away from Trent when the girl with the whip wants to take a lash. She whips him around the midsection and he rushes toward the room door, but is thrown back by the gang of girls.
Seeing no way to get through, he struggles to protect his face and midsection by turning away. They give the girl with the whip free play, then other girls hit him with a baton, a fake pistol and a variety of their other strip act props.
When they tire of beating him on the back, legs and upper arms, they pull him from the corner and he crumples to the floor, cowering and trying to protect his head with his hands. He drops to his knees and bends over as the beating continues.
Several girls knock him onto his side and kick him brutally.
Enough?
GIRL 2 (CONT’D)
GIRL 1 For now.
3.
They open the door and strut out with their instruments of torture.
GIRL 2
Full treatment, but no safe word.These guys are f-ing nuts!
Robert stands next to Lucy in the doorway looking at the beaten and bleeding Trent lying on the floor in the lux room moaning and holding his crotch.
ROBERT
I think you have a warrant for thisguy, don’t you?
LUCY Sure do.
Robert steps into the room and holds a gun on Trent while Lucy flips him over, cuffs him, and reads him his rights.
LUCY (CONT’D)
You have the right to remain silent.Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?
TRENT (whiny)
I didn’t do anything. Ask the girls. I’m innocent. Buddy, help me out. You know I didn’t do anything.
Robert smiles innocently at Trent.
ROBERT I’m in Vice.
He turns to Lucy.
ROBERT (CONT’D)
I wasn’t in the room. I have nothingon this guy.
LUCY
Well, I’m an SVU officer and I havevideo, audio, witness testimony, and physical evidence of Trent threatening to beat his kid if his wife doesn’t
(MORE)
4.
LUCY (CONT’D)
bring home more money than she didlast week from the gentleman’s club she works in.
Trent pleads with Robert.
TRENT
I would never actually do that.ROBERT
(almost sympathetically)Really? Lucy, you sure this is the right guy?
Lucy jerks him to his feet.
LUCY
Oh yeah, the hospital has the photosand medical reports. That’s how I got the warrant, put a wire on his wife and installed cams in his house. We caught him this afternoon threatening his six year old’s life.
Robert shakes his head at Trent in mock disappointment. Trent goes from pleading to fury in a heartbeat.
TRENT
I’ll get you for this, Robert. I’llget you.
LUCY (gleefully)
More threats. He’s digging himself in deeper all the time.
Lucy pushes him out the door to a waiting cop car. Robert steps to the dressing room door.
ROBERT
You gals did Rachel proud. Nothingillegal, but you gave him a taste of his own medicine.
GIRL 1
Tell her we’ll do it again if heever so much as chips her nails.
GIRL 2
We dancers got to stick together.5.
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Henry Revises the Scene
EXT. STABLE WALKWAY – DAY
Robert sits on a bench outside the half door of a horse stall at the Three Seasons Stables. Trent approaches the stall. The horse in the stall neighs.
Trent: Can you get my horse read for a run on the Track?
Robert: What do you think I am, your stable boy?
Trent: You know, if you helped just a little, maybe I could cut you in on the next purse.
Robert: That old hagg will never win a purse it ain’t no Sea Biscuit. Besides, you still back own the Stable 50K. When are you going to commit to paying the bill?
Trent: You don’t know that. Look, you wouldn’t even be hear if it wasn’t for your daddy and my generosity.
Robert: What do you mean?
Trent: Well, I got you off those doping allegations with the racing commission.
Robert: That was trumped up bull shit and you know it. If you want tack, get it yourself, it’s in the back equipment room.
Trent: Ok, but I’ll need your help. Not sure which ones are mine.
Trent and Robert head for the Back Equipment Room. Trent enters the Equipment Room followed by Robert. Trent reachs for a bridal and reins. Robert grabs a shovel. Wack, knock Trent to the ground.
Trent staggers but keeps his balance. He wheels and looks at Robert.
Trent: What the fuck was that for?
Robert: That was for the way you set me up at the last Managers meeting.
Trent reaches behind his head and with draws a bloody hand. He winches with pain.
Trent grabs a pitchfork and the two dual like two knights in a mid-evil duel. Trent lunges at Robert with the pitchfork. Robert slaps it down with the shovel. He swings and hit Trent in the side of the head with a blow that doubles him over.
Trent: I think you’re trying to kill me.
Trent is now sitting on the hay in the equipment room. He’s gasping for breath. Blood is running from his nose and down his chin.
Robert: You deserved a good ass whopping, you know that.
Trent: No I don’t.
Trent grabs the pitchfork and hurls it straight at Roberts mid section. Thud, the pitchfork hits Robert in the stomach. Robert screams and crumples to the floor holding on to the pitchfork.
Trent: Sorry buddy, but you had it coming. No one does that to me and gets away with it.
Trent and Robert sit there looking and each other bleeding. Trent reaches in his pocket and pulls out his cell phone. He dials 911.
911 Operator: What’s your emergency?
Trent: There’s been an accident at the Three Seasons Stables.
911 Operator: What’s your location?
Trent: 100 Oak Tree Lane, we’re in the Equipment Room in the Stables.
911 Operator: Ok Sir, don’t hang up. The Ambulance has been dispatched and will be there in 5 mins.
Trent: Please hurry, we may both die.
Hearing the squabble, stable hands run into the equipment room.
Stable Hand #1: What the hell?
Treant: We had a little disagreement and decided to whip each other ass. I called the Ambulance.
Stable Hand #2: I’ll go show them the way in.
Trent: Yes, Roberts going to need more help than me.
Stable Hand #2 leaves the equipment room.
Robert grimacing with pain looks at Trent. They both laugh.
Robert: If with make it out of the alive. You owe me a beer.
Trent: You got it.
Ambulance attendants arrive and transport the men to the Hospital.
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Joseph’s QE #1 Re-write
Body Dysmorphic Syndrome, now that
was a tough peacock to defeather.
Gained more weight adding the
implants, than I lost in lipo
drilling.
PSYCHIATRIST
It’s really a part of the overall
problem spectrum. But you’ll see
yourself in an entirely different
light, along with recognizing your
potential contributions.
ROBERT
You’re scholarly without rival, but
I’ve been fourth assistant to the
favorite son of Calcutta for seven,
going on twenty, years. Not much
comes my way.
PSYCHIATRIST
I want you to go out there and give
it your best effort. It’s your
time. And I feel we’re finished
here. That’s why I’m terminating
our Doctor-Patient relationship.
ROBERT
Was it the group session request?
Maybe that was out of line, but I’m
always better when I can work a
room.
PSYCHIATRIST
You’re ready. But promise you’ll
never again sabotage a fellow
employee with those phone calls.
ROBERT
You mean the thing about my boss
Trent? He’s the mutinous scoundrel.
And some of those clients would
have an amazing impact on our
company’s future. They simply
needed another contact at the firm
to get them on board. Not this
insatiable rogue. However, being
fully committed to the success of
Beckman-Brown, I’ll try.
PSYCHIATRIST
I’m encouraged, then.
ROBERT
And I’ll not let this parting deter
me from recommending you to anyone
in need of your services.
INT. WAITING ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Robert addresses the cohort of flat patients.
ROBERT
Drinks for everyone. I just
graduated.
Psychiatrist points to “NO ALCOHOL ON THE PREMISES” sign.
INT. CAR – SAME
Robert buckles up as he awaits a cell contact to answer.
ROBERT
Yes, hello. I’m not sure how to go
about this, but I feel it’s my duty
to notify the board of some
unscrupulous behavior on the part
of one of you certified physicians.
INT. OFFICE ANTEROOM – DAY
Robert arrives back at work, chats with/assists FLOWER SHOP
WOMAN, who attends to office vegetation, then drops a box of
chocolate on the RECEPTIONIST’S desk.
ROBERT
He wanted to see me?
RECEPTIONIST
I am lucky to work for the greatest
team ever. Mister Trent paid for my
medical bill balance AND gave me
money toward that family vacation I
thought we’d have to re-schedule.
Now this.
ROBERT
He’s just afraid you’ll find a
reason to leave. Me? I’m part of
his expense-free plan.
2.
RECEPTIONIST
Because he’s testing you. For the
future. See if you can make it on
your own. I overheard him.
ROBERT
That why I have a laundry list of
duties, everyday in my inbox?
RECEPTIONIST
He leaves nothing to chance.
Everything has a purpose.
ROBERT
Soooo, then he does use the martial
arts training to beat his clients
into submission?
RECEPTIONIST
Not if he wants to remain on the
Governor’s board for the prevention
of head trauma. He has some very
high profile contacts there.
ROBERT
I thought he said they only like
his money?
RECEPTIONIST
By the way, he has a meeting with
them at the capital in 1 hour, so
don’t dawdle. It throws him off.
ROBERT
You charge for your counseling and
insights?
RECEPTIONIST
Maybe you could benefit. I’m not
saying you need-
ROBERT
A psychiatrist? Me? I’m as sound as
they come. Never would even
consider that waste of my time.
INT. TRENT’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Robert enters finds Trent in coveralls. Room is in the midst
of an incomplete paint makeover.
ROBERT
Burnt Sienna?
3.
TRENT
You said I was a down to earth guy.
ROBERT
That you are. Hey, I won’t keep you- nice clean overalls, though I
didn’t expect you to actually do
the painting.
TRENT
My last office across town was ten
times the size. I hired an entire
crew, myself, to finish that job
over a weekend. Cost me double
time. But I’m a killer closer when
the colors are right.
ROBERT
And the furniture. Curtains. Sound
system.
TRENT
I get them what they want, I get
what I want.
ROBERT
Nice touch with the vacation and
medical bills, by the way.
TRENT
I want her husband’s account.
Should pave the way, no?
ROBERT
I know the Governor’s waiting, and
I don’t want them thinking it’s my
fault, so-
TRENT
I’m making you first assistant.
ROBERT
Jesus.
Trent
Don’t let us down.
ROBERT
I feel like I should drive you to the important meeting, or something.
TRENT (CONT’D)
I’ll walk. I enjoy the trip over there. Let’s
me see where my Father was all
those times he couldn’t make it to
any of our events. It’s comforting
in an odd way.
ROBERT
Taught you to carry the big stick- that
I’ll never have.
4.
TRENT
Something like that. Here, you can
see the dome from the window. Watch
you don’t fall out, though.
As Robert steps closer, a barrage of kicks and chops from
Trent quickly opens up a few spurters from Robert’s face,
sprinkling Trent’s coveralls and the floor tarp, then-
TRENT (CONT’D)
You won’t be needing this anymore.
Trent removes Robert’s cell from his shirt pocket before
SENDING ROBERT ON A ONE WAY TRIP TEN STORIES DOWN.
Trent calmly paints over the blood drips on the tarp and the
spray on his coveralls with an already dipped brush- before
frantically calling for the Receptionist to come in.
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Nice change of cars at the end to show he’s not as wealthy as he makes out to be.
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Interesting choices with the S&M girls and the suprise twist. Interesting change of direction with the arrest and handcuffs.
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Rebecca’s Rewrite 2, Cycle 1 Scene
INT. ROADHOUSE BAR – DAY
1948, roadhouse bar in the south Jersey pine barrens along the main route between Philadelphia and Atlantic City. Trent, immaculately dressed, expensive pants, shirt, and shoes, waits at a table. Two locals (loggers) sit at the other end of the bar, otherwise the place looks empty. The bartender, a body builder, moves in close to Trent and the two converse in inaudible whispers. JACK, the bartender, returns to the bar and refills his customer’s beers. Trent checks his watch.
Robert enters, recognizes the bartender, his face brightens.
ROBERT
Jack, you old son of gun. Fancy meeting you in a place like this. What’s it been, years?
The two shake hands.
JACK
Roberto, I could say the same for you. Not since the Clairidge. So why are you here?
Robert checks out the room, spots Trent.
ROBERT
Meeting someone.
Robert shakes Jack’s hand again.
ROBERT
Good to see you again.
He waves at Trent and turns his attention to the men at the bar.
ROBERT
So how’s the beer in this place?
Both men give a thumbs up. Robert struts to Trent’s table and plops into a chair opposite. They
shake hands but Trent looks stern and Robert covers up his worry with small talk.
ROBERT
Nice car out front. Yours?
Trent nonchalant.
TRENT
The Alfa Romeo? Yes, of course, it’s mine. It can go up to 150mph, not that I need speed like that.
Robert checks out the room.
ROBERT
What do you want to see me about? Why a rat hole like this?
Trent forces a smile.
TRENT
To apologize. Sorry about my blow up earlier, a bad day. This rathole might be remote, but they keep expensive top shelf whisky in the back room for special customers.
ROBERT
Hey, old buddy, that describes you.
Trent ignores the comment and hails Jack.
TRENT
A drink for Robert here. Put it on my tab.
Jack ambles over, no hurry.
JACK
Roberto, what can I get you.
ROBERT
It’s Robert. My name is Robert. Got something more than beer?
Jack makes a grand gesture towards the shelf behind the bar, acts the smart ass, half bow and mocking voice.
JACK
Robert, what do you you desire?
ROBERT
Single malt on the rocks.
JACK
Top shelf or house?
Robert, a sheepish smile, looks towards Trent.
ROBERT
With Trent buying, top shelf.
Jack leaves. Trent stares at Robert, represses his anger, SHOWTIME.
TRENT
So, we got anything to celebrate?
Jack places the scotch in front of Robert and a glass of soda water mixed with ginger ale in front of Trent and leaves. Robert glances toward the locals and talks in code.
ROBERT
Our competition, knocked out of the game. That gives your investment a clear field to corner the market.
The two locals lay cash on the bar and leave. With no action at the bar, Jack wipes down tables as he eavesdrops on the conversation.
TRENT
Sounds good to me. Did you hear that Joe Bilbo’s been outed as a Red to the Feds, taken in for questioning?
Robert shrugs, feigns ignorance.
TRENT
Bilbo, the bouncer at Clicquot Club in Atlantic City? That is, until he recently lost his job.
Robert ponders the answer.
ROBERT
I don’t really know. I’ve only been to the club a couple of times. Never met him.
Trent sips his drink and leans back on his chair.
TRENT
Yes, you did. I introduced you.
Robert looks at the floor, repositions in the chair.
ROBERT
You know I’m not good with names.
TRENT
Too bad about Bilbo, he never forgot a face or a name, especially the ones in his black book of embarrassing situations. He won’t hesitate to use that information as influence.
Trent winks at Robert and smiles.
ROBERT
Thinking on it, yes I do remember him.
TRENT
I wonder what genius turned him in? Great timing for us now that our competition is in hiding.
`
Trent chuckles. Robert grows bolder.
ROBERT
Luck, I don’t think so. More like meticulous planning.
TRENT
I agree, brilliant plot, something I might do. Competition gone and we get to step in and caulk it up to blind luck. Too bad I didn’t think of it. Whoever did, kudos to them.
Robert smiles, proud of his work. Trent chuckles and clinks his glass against Robert’s.
ROBERT
Thank you for the complement. You asked me to do a job and I got it done with no link to either of us.
Trent feigns surprise.
TRENT
You? No, not you. You’re not that cunning.
Robert sits up straighter, more confident, sly smile.
ROBERT
There’s a lot about me that you don’t know.
He downs his drink and signals for another.
TRENT
Jack, forget the cheap stuff. Break out the special scotch from the back room. Robert and me need to celebrate a victory.
Jack slips into the door behind the bar and returns with a pre-war bottle. He places it on the table his hand on the neck.
JACK
Want me to pour.
Trent puts his hand over Jack’s.
TRENT
No need, leave the bottle.
Trent pours and he and Robert down a few glasses.
ROBERT
What about the reward you promised?
TRENT
First tell me how you pulled it off, details.
Robert emboldened by alcohol itches to brag about his expertise.
ROBERT
You know Frank, the guy from Trieste who owns the grocery near the docks in Philly?
TRENT
I do.
ROBERT
I hinted about our competition being a close friend of Bilbo and about Bilbo being a card carrying Communist. Antonio Sabitini was in the store at the time and overheard the conversation.
Trent drums his manicured finger nails against the table.
TRENT
Interesting, but if Bilbo’s friend was our competition, why not just out Bilbo as a homosexual?
Jack wipes down the table next to them and leans in closer.
ROBERT
Why? Fingering him as a communist worked better.
Trent fights to remain cool.
TRENT
You outed Bilbo to Frank, a Communist. Why Bilbo?
Robert lowers his voice to a whisper.
ROBERT
Because of his closeness with the competition and the governor’s mistress.
TRENT
Not sure where all this will lead. But, your brilliant work needs a suitable reward.
Trent gets up from the table as does Robert. He pats Robert on the back.
TRENT
Lots more good things in the back room. You ready? Follow me.
Robert, chest out and head high, follows Trent to behind the bar. Trent opens the door; Robert freezes.
TRENT
Come Robert, your reward awaits.
Looking through the open door, Robert stares at the man seated in the plush easy chair with a bodyguard on either side, both with guns in hand.
ROBERT
I changed my mind, gotta go.
Trent pushes Robert inside to meet Joe Ida, mafia boss in Philly and South Jersey.
TRENT
Bang some sense into him. Dumb but don’t kill him. The shit didn’t realize that he put the Feds onto Nan DeMar and her connection to you. I’d love to take the first punch but don’t want to mess up my manicure.
Robert screams. Jack slams the door shut.
JACK
Never did like that guy.
Jack places the open bottle of scotch on the bar.
JACK
Take the bottle with you.
.
Trent smiles, picks up the bottle, and saunters out the door. Through the open window we see Trent get into a 1942 Ford Coupe.
-
Kathleen Re-Write cycle1
INT. BIKER BAR
Sports Bar and restaurant
Trent and Robert are both celebrating at an engagement party for their mutual friends Bryan and Wendy at the sports bar. When bikers who are a gang of motorcyclists come in and make themselves at home, there is a clash of couture.
TRENT
Bryan, my man! You must tell me where the gifts registry is. I will definitely be buying you both gifts. I really do want to buy you something very nice.
BRYAN
Oh, Trent you really would? We’d like that, me and Wendy.
TRENT
How about after the wedding, a honeymoon perhaps?
BRYAN
We are going on a cruise vacation to the Bahamas. We can’t wait to get away.
TRENT
Away? Away from who? You know I’d like to join you. Let me know the flight details.
BRYAN
Would you really? That would be- well, let’s see…
TRENT
Come and sit down with me and eat later and I’ll buy you diner.
A rowdy few bikers enter the bar area from outside. They are very large and intimidating, and wearing matching vests. Dolores enters with them in her leather gear.
BIKER 1
This some kind of party? I haven’t seen you people before.
Indicating his seat which is being used by Trent, he pulls the barstool out.
This here is the seat where I always sit with Dolores.
BRYAN
Please be our guests! What’s your name?
BIKER1
I’m Rattlesnake.
BRYAN
Rattlesnake? Hi, I’m Bryan. This is Wendy, we just got engaged.
WENDY
We’re having an engagement party. We’re filling up the place, what fun.
BIKER 2
They sure are havin’ fun. Just look at these invited guests!
BIKER 1
It’s so crowded that it’s making me sweat.
BIKER 2
Let’s go into the backroom, it’s so much more spacious.
BIKER 1
(Kind of mad)
Well, alright. Come on Dolores.
DOLORES
Rattlesnake, I’m going to hang out at the bar for a while.
Dolores sits on a stool by Trent.
Robert notices Wendy by the bar.
ROBERT
There you are, Wendy!
Greets her kissing her cheek.
WENDY
Haven’t seen you and Trent in ages! I’m so glad that you texted me you were coming.
DOLORES
I’m Dolores- let’s chat a while.
ROBERT
Ladies! The drinks are on me of course.
Trent has approached the bar.
TRENT
Robert- are you sure? I’d buy a full round. Maybe the next ones!
The women are seated together with another lady friend named Heather.
ROBERT
(To Heather)
Do you know how they met that gentleman Trent? I’ll let you in on a little secret. He was at the Yacht club one night, when he was stopped at the door. He didn’t have an invitation. Well, Wendy was there and thought he was so pathetic that she invited him in. He spent the night with Bryan who thought he was so funny because he thought Wendy found him attractive. It was so ridiculous!
HEATHER
Wendy told me that she and Bryan have been together since they were teens. Trent was always jealous.
BIKER 3
(Approaching Robert)
You don’t own a motorcycle pal?
ROBERT
No, I don’t.
BIKER 3
You probably couldn’t handle it.
ROBERT
Watch this- okay, Trent! Trent-
Did you promise to buy a round of alcohol? These bikers…
TRENT
A round of drinks? No, that was uh-
Just then, unexpectedly a Yacht captain arrives through the front door.
CAP’T
Hello Bryan, Wendy! Trent, is that you?
WENDY
Hello Cap’t, let’s have a drink together.
CAP’T
I didn’t expect to see Trent here at your engagement party.
Robert sidles over to him and chats.
ROBERT
Trent is a more than a little jealous. I was surprised too.
Suddenly interrupts… Rattlesnake
BIKER1 (RATTLESNAKE)
Where’s my drink? Why didn’t you buy Dolores a drink?
TRENT
I don’t know, do you?
BIKER1
(Grabbing Trent’s shirt)
You took our bar seats remember! Now don’t sit by my girlfriend.
Pulls Trent’s shirt along with him.
BIKER1
Come on sit with us, fool.
They go into the back room where their table is and sit with other bikers.
BIKER1
I hate people who don’t ride motorcycles.
He stands up and faces Trent.
DOLORES
I don’t ride one. Too dangerous.
Trent takes a gun out of his jacket pocket and points it in the direction of the biker Rattlesnake.
TRENT
How dare you do that to me, push me down and in front of Wendy!
BIKER1
Oh, yeah!
Cap’t arrives.
Wendy arrives with an extra drink.
WENDY
Here- somebody want this -?
Throws it in the Trent’s face.
CAP’T
Hold on just second, what’s going on here?
Trent puts the gun to his mouth.
TRENT
I’m leaving… this way or the other. Bryan- you know that it’s Wendy’s decision but she always liked me a lot. Wendy- please don’t marry Bryan.
WENDY
Trent! Bryan and I are getting married. You’ve gone crazy, put the gun down.
CAP’T
You’re over reacting, just hand me that pistol.
BRYAN
Don’t shoot! They’ll have you arrested. We both like you Trent, really now!
Biker 2 grabs Trent from behind with biker 3.
Trent drops the pistol and starts crying.
ROBERT
Trent, pull yourself together. Gentlemen, I’m sorry- I should’ve known. I’ll take Trent outta here. Come on.
-
A group of Ashton Tate employees stand near the mezzanine
watercooler talking and laughing.
TECHNICIAN
Hey, I’ll drink to that !
RECEPTIONIST
Me too !
They pretend to clink plastic cups.
As the group spots ROBERT approaching the HUM OF CONVERSATION
dries up.
Robert sidles to the watercooler and half fills a plastic
cup. He looks around sipping, nodding to himself. Uninvited
he tags onto the group. A couple of employees give him a nod,
others ignore him.
TRENT (45), breezes out of his Area Manager office in an
immaculate grey suit, shoes shining like polished chestnuts.
At the cooler he nods vaguely at those standing around, fills
a plastic cup. He takes it into his office and closes the
door.
ROBERT
Huh, probably needs it to cool his
ardor.
RECEPTIONIST
Er, what do you mean?
ROBERT
Oh, nothing really.. ..saw him in
the photocopy room yesterday. Had
Trixie backed into a corner, looked
to me like he was making a move on
her.
TECHNICIAN
How you know? They could’ve have
just been talkin’.
RECEPTIONIST
He something of a Romeo, you
reckon?
ROBERT
Oh you know… Some people never know
when to stop… Met his wife at
Christmas. Nice woman…
SECRETARY 1
(sighs)
Well, catch you all later, I’d
better get back.
SECRETARY 2
Yeah, me too. Back to the
grindstone.
TECHNICIAN
No peace for the wicked, huh?
The group quickly evaporates.
Robert stands alone at the watercooler, pours away water he
didn’t really want, bins the plastic cup.
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE – DAY
In a fastidiously tidy office Trent toys with a gold-nibbed
fountain pen as he talks on the phone.
TRENT
Okay, Carol, nice one. At the
annual appraisal, I’ll remember
you.
RECEPTIONIST (V.O.)
Everybody avoids him, he’s always
skulking around, trying to stir
things up. Probably has his eye on
Trixie himself.
TRENT
Okay, well… I suppose I’ll have
to sort him out…
CUT TO:
INT. MEZZANINE – DAY
In shirtsleeves Trent stands on the mezzanine, balancing a
half empty watercooler refill on the railing. On the floor
below, Robert saunters past grasping photocopies.
Trent’s eyes narrow as he calculates the distance.
He lobs the half empty polystyrene container which falls like
a stone and explodes with a CRACK ! on tiles behind Robert,
water flies everywhere!
CU ROBERT
He cringes, drenched in ice water, paralyzed and trembling he
looks up to see where the shattered plastic container came
from.
POV TRENT
TRENT
(cheerily)
Oh, sorry about that. Just changing
the cooler water bottle. Still, you
who’s so jealous of other people’s
ardor. Maybe that’ll help cool your
own!
(beat)
By the way, you’re from Facilities
Maintenance aren’t you?
Robert nods.
TRENT
So, better get a bucket and mop it
up…
Head bowed Robert trudges off gripping soggy photocopies.
SUPER:
“THE NEXT DAY”
The same clique stands around the water cooler, laughing and
joking. Their conversation dies away as Robert appears
carrying a mop and bucket. He ignores them and knocks on Area
Manager Trent’s door.
INT. TRENT’S OFFICE – DAY
Trent types on a laptop computer on his desk.
TRENT
Enter!
The door opens. Robert enters gripping a mop and bucket.
Trent is a little surprised.
TRENT
Yes?! What can I do for you?
ROBERT
I just came to report, sir, that
the water was all cleaned up, as
requested.
TRENT
Very well. Good. You can go now.
ROBERT
I was asked to enquire, sir, if you
wished for a copy?
TRENT
A copy?
Robert nods.
TRENT
A copy of what?
ROBERT
The CCTV footage, sir.
TRENT
(alarmed)
Footage! Of what?!
ROBERT
You launching that container, sir.
The Maintenance management
considers it a dangerous act, sir.
One that could even have been
fatal.
(beat)
They’re asking me, if I wish to
pursue charges.
Trent blanches. He half stands uncertainly.
TRENT
Now look here…! It was only meant
as.. ..as..
ROBERT
..a warning, sir?
TRENT
Yes, exactly. That’s it! Simply a
warning…
ROBERT
So you admit dropping a water
cooler container on me, but only as
a reprimand, a sort of warning?
TRENT
Precisely. And as the matter’s been
dealt with internally, there’s no
point pursuing it any further.
(beat)
I’ll make a point of recommending
you to your management at the next
annual appraisal.
ROBERT
Is throwing a water cooler
container at an employee a
recognized company policy, sir?
Trent starts to reply but no words come, he stands there
gaping open mouthed like a fish out of water.
ROBERT
If not, then “Give unto Caesar that
which is Caesar’s…”
In a smooth practiced gesture he launches a cascade of dirty
water scudding across the floor, its bow wave reaching and
racing around Trent’s ankles.
Robert jettisons the bucket with a CLANG!
ROBERT
Incidentally, there are no CCTV
cameras covering the mezzanine,
sir. But there is this…
He lifts the lapel of his boiler suit to reveal a lapel mike.
He presses the play button on his micro recorder.
ROBERT
And there’s also an excellent Wi-Fi
network and public address system.
(beat)
Just listen ! You can hear the
proof right now…
Out in the corridor the PA can be heard BROADCASTING their entire conversation.
Robert slops the wet mop head on Trent’s desktop.
ROBERT
I’ll leave you the tools, sir.
Bring them back to Maintenance,
when you’re through cleaning up…
-
Henry Kana QE Scene 2
Logline: Two Archelogist hunt for ancient treasure which cause one to lose his life in the search
Essence: One treasure hunter takes advantage of another.
EXT. ON THE BANKS OF THE NEW RIVER – LATE EVENING
John sits in a chair in front of a camp fire sipping on fresh steaming coffee. He is awaiting the arrival of Nick Jones, a competitor archeologist. A motorize dugout cruises up to a make shift dock. Out hops Nick.
Nick: Morning John, how are things? Making any progress?
John: No, did you bring it?
Nick: Bring what? (Chuckling) I hope my secretary packed it? I told her to.
John: Damn you Nick. We can’t use the Stone and Rods without it.
Nick: I’m sure Mary Ann packed it. She was folding it up when I left the office. I sure it here in my travel bag.
John: Finding King Zapata’s treasure will be useless without that Map. With the winding trails, changes in elevations it will be like looking for a, “needle in a haystack.”
Nick: You have the Stone and Rods? Show me!
John crosses to a metal suitcase, places it on the camp table, and pops it open revealing a diamond shaped stone with two copper rods with eye pieces.
John: There you see, we kept safe till you got hear per our written agreement. Now where is the map?
Nick: Right here.
Nick opens his carry bag and pull out a folded piece of parchment. He unfolds it and places it on the camp table. John studies the map.
John: This doesn’t look like the original map you showed me months ago.
Nick: It is. It’s a copy, you don’t think I would bring an original to a snake and mosquito infested place like this. Besides, we could get jump by natives or bandits.
John: Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve been out here for two month and haven’t seen another soul except the natives I have working for me, and they go home every evening. Are you sure she copied the correct map and not cheap thing off the street.
Nick: I’m sure it is. If it wasn’t I’m not sure you could even identify it as a fake. Why don’t you study it tonight by the camp light and plot us a path to the treasure if you can or is that out of you ability.
John: One more comment like that and I’m going to make you see stars.
Nick: Ha, ha, ha. Better bring your native helpers. Study the map and we will set out in the morning to find the treasure. I’m turning in. Had a hard day’s travel. Good night.
John: Good night. Be sure to shake out your shoes in the morning. Scorpions you know.
Nick: I didn’t fall off the wagon yesterday. Good night
Nick enters the camp tent. John sits at the table examining the map. He holds it up to the camp light to make sure it’s not a forgery. He flips the map over several times.
John: At least it not a fake. (Mumbling)
Ext: Mountain Trail Head – Day
After hiking and climbing through the jungle for about an hour, John and Nick stumble into an opening containing Mayan figures.
John: Quick, look at the map, do any of the figures match.
Nick: Map, what map, you had it last night.
John: Ok, ok, just wanted to get a rise out of you.
Nick: This is your warning. Nextime Pow!
John lays out the map and begins to move the stone and rods over the map. Nothing seems to fit exactly right.
Nick: Let me see those. You’re not holding them right.
Nick holds them over the map like divining rods. They cross, sparks fly and ignite the Maps.
John and Nick frantically slap at the burning map. The get it out but there are several wholes in the map.
John: You idiot.
John punches Nick in the nose.
Nick: Ouch, why did you do that.
John: You deserved it for burning those holes in the Map. Now look what your have done.
John holds up the map. The morning light shines through and lines up on several statues. Grave covers opening up a grave revealing gold, diamonds, rubies and ancient gold coins.
Nick: Jackpot.
Nick picks up the diamond shape stone and hits John over the head and knock him out cold. Nick empties his back pack and greedly fills it with gold, jewls and coins. He drags John unconconse body into the grave. Nick takes the stone and places it against the eye of the statues. The grave closes over John body. Nick slings his back pack and begins walking back down the trail.
Nick: (Softly Singing) Hiho, hiho, it’s home from work we go.
We can hear the muffled screams of John.
John: Come back here you thief, conniving conman.
Nick, with his shoulders back and a bounce in his step continues down the trail whisteling.
-
INT. MAJOR AWARDS CEREMONY STAGE – NIGHT
On stage are ROBERT and TRENT each holding their award. Robert, a handsomely scruffy twenty-something, beams at the audience and waves the award above his head. He shouts into the microphone.
ROBERT
Thank you! We love you! Now let’s go party!
Trent, also 25, tucks his coiffed bang behind his ear.
Robert hangs his arm around Trent’s shoulders as they exit offstage to the music playing.
ROBERT
(whispering in Trent’s ear)
You know they all think you’re gay.
Trent looks at Robert with amusement.
TRENT
You just hate that I love mani/pedis.
They pass a young woman who stares at Robert wide-eyed. He takes her hand and kisses it as they pass, giving her a rock star smile. She swoons.
ROBERT
Hey. As long as they don’t think I’m gay, I don’t care.
REPORTER
Congratulations, you two! How does it feel to be winners?
ROBERT
Honestly, it feels great.
(He leans in)
I heard one of the other nominees was in the john earlier throwing shade our way.
(he glances to another young man standing nearby)
I think it was him.
The reporter immediately leaves Robert to question the young man. Robert laughs.
TRENT
You’re incorrigible!
ROBERT
Too bad. I’m the bread, you’re the butter. We need one another.
Trent
(frowns)
Actually, there’s something I want to talk to you about.
ROBERT
(sees someone)Laura!
Robert walks away, leaving Trent alone to face a barrage of reporters.
REPORTERS
Congratulations! Tell us how you’re feeling!
Trent smiles, adjusting his hair again and straightening his tie.
TRENT
Thank you, it’s really an honor, and –Robert rushes back to Trent’s side.
ROBERT
I’m here!
Trent stares at Robert with surprise.
TRENT
They were talking to me.ROBERT
Yeah? Well now they’re talking to us.Trent is visibly upset. He looks back at the reporters with a forced smile.
TRENT
I would like to say, that the honor is all mine. My partner here, well he never did much of anything. It was all me, my ideas, my sweat and tears, mine, mine mine.
Robert smiles at Trent like, you’ve got to be kidding.
ROBERT
Yeah, when pigs fly!
(to the reporters)
You really want to know about this guy? He’s a fake. A phony. Never had an original idea of his own. I’m the spin doc. I’m the one who creates the magic. He’s just the crankshaft. This guy’s got nothing. Oh, and by the way, he’s gay.
TRENT
And we are married.
The reporters gush at the news and shout questions.
REPORTERS
When? Where? Who attended? Are you planning a family? How long?
Trent reaches up and kisses Robert on the lips.
TRENT
We’re so in love!Robert is shocked. They leave the press and enter a back dressing room.
INT. BACK ROOM – NIGHT
Robert who has his back to Trent, suddenly turns around and punches Trent in the face.
ROBERT
How could you do that to me?
TRENT
Our partnership is over!
ROBERT
You son of a bitch.
TRENT
I did everything. You did nothing! In a few minutes two giant men are coming in here to beat the crap out of you!
ROBERT
What? Now take it easy, Trent. It’s been a long road here, but now that we’ve made it can’t we at least enjoy it?
Trent starts to weep.
TRENT
I want you out of my life.ROBERT
Sure you do.
He starts to comfort Trent when two giant GOONS walk into the room.
GOON #1
Which one is he?
Trent points to Robert, Robert points to Trent.
The two goons look at one another and shrug. Then they punch both Robert and Trent out.
-
Hi,
Let’s swap scenes and critique them.
Please send a PDF of your scene, I will reply with mine.
Tom, wilsontomj@gmail.com
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