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Day 8 Assignment
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4 Replies
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What I learned from this assignment is there’s a passive, quiet, non action part for my main transformable character where her weakness is acceptance, non fighting, non proactive. She takes a submissive background role as another transformable character, her son who was adopted out, has his own journey. He’s also a change agent but there’s also another change agent -the ex husband who has to confront his treatment of his ex wife when a secret emerges in his own family.
Transformational logline:
A career teacher’s involuntarily childless marriage ends after ten years when her husband finds out she has an ex nuptial son adopted out at birth; a son whose parallel story of early fatherhood culminates with mother and son being blissfully reunited after nearly thirty years.
Change agent is David the husband. Also the adoptive parents.
Transformational characters are Ros (Mother) and Matthew (son.)
MM#1 Pages 1-15 Ros, in her first year of teaching (1956) is raped following a dance, becomes pregnant and leaves town to have her baby and give him up for adoption. She tries desperately to find a way to keep her child. (1957.) Does not tell the father and doesn’t prosecute as Court cases in the day usually ended with blaming and shaming the girl.
Baby Matthew is adopted by a couple with one son. The adoptive mother for medical reasons is told she cannot have another child.
Turning Point: Call to Adventure. A move to start life anew amongst strangers.
MM#2 Pages 15-30 Three years later Ros meets Dave and marries in a town far away from the original. Matthew is loved and told he is ‘chosen’ by his adoptive parents.
Turning Point: Locked In. Doesn’t tell her husband about her child. Continues her career. Lives the secret.
MM#3 Pages 30-45 The couple are financially robust. Both feel the social pressure of the times but become tired of trying for a baby after 5 years.
Turning Point : Decide that the focus on conceiving a child needs to be ‘let go’ -they won’t let it define them. Matthew’s adoptive mother has another child against the odds. Matthew now ‘surplus to requirements’ and his life is miserable. Matthew’s hunger for his natural mother grows in proportion to his parents’ rejection of a son they no longer have a need for.
MM#4 Pages 45-60. Ten years of marriage and still childless, Ros and David host a party for the husband’s business staff, to welcome a new staff member. Ros realizes she knew the new staff member’s wife from the time she was pregnant. Neither acknowledges this in the moment. Ros resolves to talk to her.
Turning Point: Plan backfires. The new wife tells other staff in the office, a day later, before Ros can talk to her.
MM#5 Pages 60-75 Husband learns of the baby, becomes violent, and ends the marriage.
Turning Point: The decision to make a change is forced, again. Ros’ carefully constructed world has collapsed. Ros moves from the home and focuses on her career, continuing to transfer her nurturing skills to all the children in her care. These are the years of weakness for her with a void that her marriage had papered over. Matthew sees a Social Worker to ask about tracing his mother but is told it is impossible. At 18 Matthew (now working) meets Louise. She becomes pregnant during her last year at school. Her parents are supportive. They marry.
MM#6 Pages 75-90 (NZ 1986) Ros contemplates searching for her son now that the Law has changed.Ros chooses not to actively search but neither to block the path if her child is looking for her. (Waives the right to lodge a 10 year veto.) She supports another teacher whose child has found her.
Turning Point: Matthew (son) finds Ros. Her void is filled. Layers of anguish settle within her.
MM#7 Pages 90-105 David, ex husband receives a letter with a birth certificate attached showing his own mother had also lost a child to adoption. He and his ‘new’ sister also share their (deceased in WW2) father.
Turning Point: Apparent victory David (adores his mother) realizes how he dismissed Ros without even looking for an explanation.
MM #8 Pages 105-120 Ros makes her peace with David and introduces Matt (on his initial visit) to her friends. She can let go her secret.
Turning Point: New status quo. Ros travels to Matt’s hometown to meet his wife and her two grandchildren. She gains an extended family. Ros is sad that Matt’s adoptive parents were unable to sustain their initial love for him, and hopes that one day they might reconcile.
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Dale’s Profound Ending
What I learned from this assignment is to look at my structure in terms of how it dramatically and stepwise leads to a profound ending. Not sure I’ve found that structure yet, but this is making me ask good questions.
1. What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending?
Looking again at the Profound Truth of Pickering’s Harem, I feel I’m still exploring possibilities. Here are some: The Truth Will Out. Stick to your Guns and It Will Pay Off. Important Discoveries Will Find Recognition. Trusting and believing in yourself can lead to great discoveries.
Possible endings:
• With 77 year old Antonia finishing up her acceptance speech, and in the audience we see about ¼ of the attendees are women.
• With the information on cards of the ways that Antonia contributed after the events of this story.
• Question: Is the return to 1943 more like an epilogue than and ending, and as such the ending should take place at the end of the main storyline?? In which case, what is my climax (will it change from what I’ve already listed) and how will Antonia emerge triumphant even if her system has not yet been adopted. Will she be triumphant because the New Ways are now reigning supreme? And how to show that in the ending??
• Might she say to the journalist at the end, the following: “We were called ‘Pickering’s Harem’ and of course, we weren’t, but in some ways were were. “He was the sun around which our planets tightly orbited. God forbid one of us escaping that orbit. One of us daring to create a gravitational pull of our own!” When he asks her if she is glad she persisted, she answers: ““Oh, absolutely. It may have taken over two decades – but my discoveries have proven invaluable to astronomy. I have, in the end, been vindicated. And allow a “mere” woman to say, that indeed it makes me glad!”
2. How do your lead characters (Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?
In Pickering’s Harem, the transformable character, Antonia, represents the change by learning to trust in her instincts and persist against odds to construct her classification system
3. What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?
In Pickering’s Harem, there are setups in the beginning where the classmates tell Antonia how hard it will be out there (and it is.) There are the setups of various observations she makes that lead to distinct discoveries. There is the setup of her aunt telling her she must still “act like a lady” and her assertion in the end that a lady acts in many different ways. There are the setup situations with Pickering where she is looking to please him, but in the end realizes she must please herself instead. Questions that get setup and eventually answered are: Will Antonia overcome her insecurities and shyness to stand up to both Pickering and her aunt. Will she trust enough in her scientific instincts to know that her discoveries are valuable even if not immediately recognized
4. How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?
What is the ending that seems like it will never happen in Pickering’s Harem? When she returns to HCO under the leadership of Shapley and throws herself into studying binary stars (in 1918), it seems her classification system will never get the due it deserves. But in 1922, it does and she is vindicated.
5. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?
After Antonia says the line to the journalist about creating her own gravitational pull, we return to the receiving of the Annie Jump Cannon award and to the end of Antonia’s speech. She might say something like: “I speak to all you young astronomers out there, and particularly to the women. Do not let anyone divert you from making a discovery that you were uniquely born to do. Always stay true to the scientist within.”
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Day 6 Assignment: Lauren’s Transformational Structure
What I learned doing this assignment:
The Mini Movie Method! I was so happy to see this covered in our lessons. I’d been wanting to learn about this process.
I learned how to choose the character to send on the journey, how to incorporate the Transformational logline into each MM, the process of filling in the different aspects of the Three Gradients and how to escalate the challenges throughout their journey. This assignment was somewhat daunting at first but as I took each MM and the Turning Points, it became easier to see how everything I’ve created thus far worked nicely within the structure.1. Tell us your Transformational Logline.
An indoctrinated woman, raised by a trafficking organization, kidnaps children but when she discovers they’re being sold across the world, she sacrifices herself to free the children and destroy the organization.
2. Tell us who the main character will be:
Transformational Character: the woman enslaved by the trafficking organization
3. List out your Mini-Movie structure, (or whatever structure you’ve chosen) for your story.
MM #1 – Pages 1 – 15 – Our hero’s status quo, his ordinary world, ends with an inciting incident or “call to adventure,” introducing the story’s main tension.
—She lives within the confines/rules of the organization without question. The organization keeps her malnourished and abuses her physically, emotionally and psychologically to keep her in check. She’s been brainwashed into believing they care for her and that these experiences are normal. She collects children off the streets, chains them up in the collecting vehicles, places them in cells at the compound. On the streets she’s sweet to lure the children, as she’s been taught. When at the compound she treats them without feeling for their fear and cruel treatment by the others at the organization.
Turning Point: Call to Adventure.
— Lashes out at/questions the organization after discovering they’re selling the orphans; discovers there’s a possibility the children are being sold into sex trafficking across the world instead of being placed with adoptive families. She confronts the org but they assure her this is false. She continues working the streets, gathering children but has serious doubts regarding the organization’s true operations.
MM #2 – Pages 15 – 30 – Our hero’s denial of the call, and his gradually being “locked into” the conflict brought on by this call.
—Her brother finds her working the streets, collecting children. He tells her he’s been searching for her since she was kidnapped by the organization when she was six years old, of her true beginnings and the truth about what the organization is really doing with the children she and the others have been collecting. He tells her it doesn’t matter what she’s done, she is worth saving as much as the children are. Her brother’s information regarding her real family flies in the face of everything she believes about the organization; She runs from her brother even though he can rescue her from her half life. She doesn’t believe she has self-worth. She doesn’t believe the org should be destroyed as they’re a force for good.
Turning Point: Locked in.— Her whole world begins to crumble. Her mind cracks and she relives the encounter with this person who says he’s her brother –Who am I? Am I really helping these children?– Must save the children and returns to the compound with increasing doubts about the org. He must be an imposter: she mistakes her brother as an evil force even more than the organization is; thinks she can convince the organization to change their operations.
MM #3 – Pages 30 – 45 – Our hero’s first attempts to solve his problem, the first things that anyone with this problem would try, appealing to outside authority to help him. Ends when all these avenues are shut to our hero.—Thinks there must be a mistake: she tries to change what’s happening and asks the organization to help stop the sale of children; tries to free the children. Gets severely reprimanded. She scours the compound looking for clues as to what the true nature of the org is. She secretly asks her fellow child collectors about what could be going on- Have they heard/seen anything suspicious? Do they have proof of the real operations? Where do the vanishing children really go if not to wealthy families? Tries to discover a weakness in the organization to stop it. Goes against the entity she looks up to and who has provided all she’s known of family. She has the opportunity to escape.
Turning Point: Standard ways fail.—She escapes and tells the authorities what the organization is doing. They’re in on the whole operation. Her brother and his friends try to take her from the authorities. Her brother tells her the org must be destroyed. He recounts the past: the organization killed their mother and kidnaped her. He now hunts sex traffickers and has tracked them back to this organization which is holding her against her will. There’s a fire fight- her brother fails to rescue her as there are too many officers. The authorities return her to the organization.
MM #4 – Pages 45 — 60 – Our hero spawns a bigger plan. He prepares for it, gathers what materials and allies he may need, then puts the plan into action — only to have it go horribly wrong, usually due to certain vital information the hero lacked about the forces of antagonism allied against him.
—The trust the organization placed in her to be able to leave the compound and be an honorable member of the organization is now gone. They no longer allow her to leave the compound.
Turning Point: Plan backfires. (MIDPOINT falls here)
—She tries to overthrow the organization from within. She’s caught. They knock her out, sedate her.
MM #5 – Pages 60 — 75 – Having created his plan to solve his problem WITHOUT changing, our hero is confronted by his need to change, eyes now open to his own weaknesses, driven by the antagonist to change or die. He retreats to lick his wounds.
—She wakes transformed, a shadow of her former self, within a secret portion of the compound she never knew existed: The organ harvesting wing. She discovers large portions of her body now have poorly sewn stitches: across her abdomen and lower back. Children are there too- all have similar badly performed surgeries. Living in a nightmare, she realizes everything she’s believed about the people who raised her are lies: these are inhuman criminals. Her brother was right.
Turning Point: The decision to change.
—She sees the dead bodies piled up along the floor and half dead children: children she aided in luring to this horrific place. Her heart aches at the sight, the emotional/physical pain scorches her, it’s unbearable. She loves them and knows only she has a chance to save them. She knows she must sacrifice herself to save them. She’s been given this divine opportunity, placed in this position to save these precious lives. Lives she herself has unknowingly endangered.
MM #6– Pages 75 – 90 – Our hero spawns a new plan, but now he’s ready to change. He puts this plan into action…and is very nearly destroyed by it. And then…a revelation.
—Recognizes her brother is her true kin; Sacrifices herself to defeat the only family she’s known. Contacts her brother and his friends, she’s ready to be rescued. Uses a secret network to reach her brother and provides him with how to enter the compound.
Turning Point: The ultimate failure.
—One of the other child collectors rats her out. As punishment, the organization forces her to choose the next group of children to be sold. She refuses and she’s beaten until unconscious.
MM #7 – Pages 90 – 105 – The revelation allows our hero to see victory, and he rejoins the battle with a new fervor, finally turning the tables on his antagonist and arriving at apparent victory. And then the tables turn one more time!
—She finds the weakness in the organization. Not sure what this is yet.
Turning Point: Apparent victory.
— Her brother and his friends break into the compound, free some of the children and try to rescue her. She refuses to go with the group to rescue the remaining children. She gives up her new dream of starting over and reconnecting with her brother.
MM #8 – Pages 105 – 120 – The hero puts down the antagonist’s last attempt to defeat him, wraps up his story and any sub-plots, and moves into the new world he and his story have created.
— She dies in the process of saving the remaining children, hoping to absolve herself for her crimes.
Turning Point: New status quo.
— She dies yet she has destroyed the organization.
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Karen Tolliver Transformational Structure Day 6
What I learned doing this assignment is how to structure my film into points that will wow an audience. I know the Hero’s Journey method, but I have not completed the Mini Movie Method before. It’s structured in a way that guarantees the major components will match up and create the changes necessary for a profound movie.
Transformational Logline: A naive Accountant, discovers her cheating husband has embezzled the firms funds. She gathers her Girls Crew and bust him and the crooked FBI agent in the act. Clears her name and gets her life back
Mini- Movie Structure
Mini-Movie 1 – Status Quo and Call to Adventure
The film starts with Sharon and Steven going on a Date Night where they agree no discussing business. Next Sharon, Steven, Carol, Diane, and Andrea go to an Award Dinner where Sharon wins Accountant of the Year.
Sharon prepares for a special Anniversary dinner with Chef at their home.
Sharon and her secretary Janea discover some files are missing.
Steven withdraws money from the bank and wires it to his account in Aruba.
Sharon and the girls go to Victoria Secret to buy sexy lingerie for the big night.
Steven sends “Fake” tax returns to the IRS and practice a “quitting scene” with his secretary Kate. They wait for Sharon to come out of her office, and they perform.
Steven is a “No Show” at the Anniversary dinner.
The FBI swarms the house and arrest Sharon for embezzlement.
Transformational Character: Sharon Anderson
Old Ways: Naïve, trusting the wrong man
Emotional Gradient: Forced Change- Denial
Challenge: She’s been arrested and sent to jail.
Weaknesses: Fear of unknown, and disbelief.
Mini-Movie 2 – Locked Into Conflict
Carol bails Sharon out of jail
Diane tells Sharon and Carol, Steven has second set of Books, Sharon denies it.
Andrea makes soup for Sharon, and Sharon’s mom tells her “He’s just like your father” Sharon is infuriated.
Change Agent: Carol Ridgeway, tells Sharon she suspected Steven.
Old Ways: poor choice of men pushed to the limit.
Emotional Gradient of Anger
Challenge: Everyone keeps telling her Steven is no good
Weakness: Sharon gets quiet.
Mini-Movie 3 – Hero Tries to Solve Problem – But Fails.
Sharon decides to get Steven in Aruba.
Carol’s husband David says Steven is buying property in Aruba.
Andrea has a fear of flying.
Steven and Kate are having fun in Aruba, but Steven drops the second set of books under the bed.
Sharon, Carol, Diane, and Andrea arrive in Aruba and go to The Soprano’s Bar. Andrea kicks a girl off stage and sings Karaoke, Sharon tries to stop her, but Andrea ends with holding up a picture of Steven and asking if anyone has seen him.
Vision: Closer to catching Steven and clearing her name.
Emotion Gradient: Sharon begins to bargain in finding Steven
The betraying character: Andrea Taylor looses it on the airplane.
Challenge: Can she find Steven?
Mini-Movie 4 – Hero Forms a New Plan
A man at the Bar meets them outside and tells them he just sold his house to Steven.
Sharon and the girls go to the house, peeks inside and sees Steven and Kate kissing.
Andrea and Carol find ATV’s in the backyard and ride them through the front door, Sharon and Diane follow behind them.
Sharon attacks Steven, Kate hits Sharon, and Carol pulls Kate’s hair.
Andrea runs out from the kitchen and clobbers Steven over the head with a skillet leaving him unconscious.
Diane is upstairs and finds the second set of books under the bed. They all run out.
New Ways: Sharon sees the light, and recognize the bad in Steven
Challenge: How to get help clearing her name.
Weakness: What now?
Mini-Movie 5 – Hero Retreats & The Antagonism Prevails
Sharon, Diane, Carol, and Andrea check in at the hotel. Diane and Sharon look over the second set of books.
Sharon can’t take it and takes a walk on the beach, has a talk with God.
Sharon finds a bar along the way, meets James the bartender who is studying to be a CPA.
James is quite younger than her and very handsome, but they have somethings in common, Accounting.
Sharon and James go out on a date to a restaurant. Carol, Diane, and Andrea follow them spying to make sure Sharon is ok. James gives Sharon some Godly wisdom and she confides in him her recent events in life. Sharon helps James study for the exam and invites him back to the hotel.
Emotional Gradient: Depression sets in until she finds James and confesses.
New Ways: Sharon is becoming clear about her feelings for Steven.
Challenge: Loving this new relationship, but can she be with a younger man
Weakness: Mad at Steven
Mini-Movie 6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!
The girls pack their bags and go to the airport, but they notice their being followed.
They make a turn and the follower turns too. They run into the bathroom and come up with a plan.
They come out with a disguise on and the follower never notice them. They make it on the airplane, but something about him is familiar to Sharon.
Sharon remembers who the follower is. The FBI Agent who came to the house and arrested her.
Diane and Sharon make a plan.
Challenge: How to get the proof into the right hands.
Weakness: Don’t want to trust the wrong person anymore.
Mini-Movie 7 – Crisis & Climax
James has passed his CPA Exam and is now on the airplane to LA for a job interview and to visit Sharon.
Sharon goes to see Agent Riggs and plants cameras in his office.
Agent Riggs calls Steven to tell him she is here. When he comes back to his office Sharon is gone.
Sharon and Diane watch them on camera.
Steven tells Riggs Sharon has to be killed, meet him at the house.
Sharon and the Girls booby trap the house.
Riggs and Steven come to the house and gets a shock from grabbing the handle. They walk around back and get hit with a rakes, trip wire and paint spilled on them.
James rings the doorbell. Steven answers and lets him inside. Riggs grabs him and ties him up.
New Ways: Sharon has discovered peace within herself.
Vision: Closer to reality of clearing her name.
Challenge: How to save James
Weakness: refuses to lose.
Mini-Movie 8 – New Status Quo
Steven calls out Sharon and they talk.
Diane and Carol sneak into the living room while Andrea sneaks into the kitchen.
Diane Karate chops Agent Riggs knocking the gun on the floor, Carol grabs the gun. Andrea runs from the kitchen with a skillet and hits Steven over the head. The police come and arrest the men.
Sharon has her day in court and the judge dismisses all charges against her, the girls walk out together.
New Way: Sharon has complete changed and has inner peace.
Profound truth: Live life for yourself and not the pleasing of others.
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